luckywriter

SC Intelligentsia Grill Eggs on Piggly Wiggly Pavement

2012-08-11T14:19:00.001-07:00

Elvis Presley, 1973 Aloha From Hawaii television broadcast (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If you'd just watch an episode of ”The Flintstones,” then you'd KNOW them Scientists just made up all this Evolution junk, same as they made up all this Global Warming stuff.

Hell, I remember back in '77 when Elvis died, IT wuz HOT, I tell ya, I KNOW cause Aunt Earline passed out right there in the Piggly Wiggly parking lot.

It was SO hot that them eggs that fell from her grocery bag, cracked open and started cookin' right there on the asphalt. TV-13 happened to come over and film the whole thing, someone even threw a slice of cheese on top of the eggs and it all cooked up like a cheese omelet right there on the steamin’ pavement.

And now they are all home-schooling themselves with unkie-daddy slobbering out southern phonetically-based spellin' lessons, so that they TOO, can someday scrawl misspelled words across poster paper with Magic Markers, then frenetically flail and froth about while they march around in circles for the TV folks.

No Foolin'- THEY are Home Schoolin'

2012-08-11T02:44:00.002-07:00

Now they are all home-schooling themselves with unkie-daddy slobbering out southern phonetically-based spellin' lessons, so that they TOO, can someday scrawl misspelled words across poster paper with Magic Markers, then frenetically flail and froth about while they march around in circles for the TV folks.

Lose Weight with Sex and Laughter!

2010-06-05T13:37:00.000-07:00

Lose Weight with Sex and Laughter!

Parrot On the Phone

2010-06-01T21:24:00.000-07:00

"Hope they all make it back from the beach," she whispered.

"I'm prayin' real hard, right now," Layla answered.

"Hey, see if you can find some batteries for this radio"

"Where?"

"Try the desk drawer by the window"

"Oh,no"

"What?"

"I didn't know you was goin' out with them," Layla said.

"With who?"

"You know who"

"Oh, those guys from Taterville?"

"Um"

"Hey, that's just a picture, Layla, we were just goofin' around"

"Sure you were?"

"Okay, we did go over to the Satellite Club one Friday night, but what nothin' but somethin' to do, those guys play around too much for me, if ya know what I mean?"

It seemed like the rain slackened off a little and the wind died down to. The lights started to flicker like they were coming back on. The TV did come on, but there was nothing on but fuzzy, scratchy looking greenish tinted nothingness. Jahneesha peeked out through the blinds. There was an egret dancing right near the ditch and a parrot perched on a telephone pole right across the street.

"Where in the world did all these strange creatures come from?" asked Layla.

"Don't know."

The phone rang. Jahneesha jumped. She thought the phone lines were down. Damn, this is one funky day, she thought to herself.

Lucky Mojo

2010-01-15T22:01:00.000-08:00

Image via Wikipedia

It's still hard to believe Jackson and Roosevelt were really going to catch and bring some purple armadillos over. I never thought there was such a thing, but then I've never seen an armadillo in-person. Every single armadillo I've ever seen was in a science book or movie and they don't even hae any of them in the zoo. Linda told me the armadillos were on their way from Texas heading to South Carolina and that they had gotten as far as Valdosta, Georgia. None of them I ever heard of were purple though. Then again, anything is possible, I guess. Let me see if I can find my old Bob Marley LP, Natty Dread and play that "Rebel Music" song. The whole album gets me in a more mellow mood. I hope those guys make it back before everything around this part of South Carolina is under 6 feet of water. I don't want my mojo to get wet and don't want to take a chance of anyone getting their hands on it. I need all the luck I can get right now.

Flood

2010-01-15T10:35:00.000-08:00

I doubt if anyone will be out driving around in this weather. Can't even tell where the ditch is cause the whole road is covered in dark water. Tires float by and blue sparks dance around the light pole. Better put some plastic over the piano and move the television into the kitchen. It's off the air anyway. Sirens scream out towards Carolina Hospital and seem to be coming closer. I hope they know the road is flooded.

Official Lucky Rooster Merchandise Available

2010-01-12T18:21:00.001-08:00

Official Lucky Rooster Merchandise Available

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Wind

2010-01-11T06:45:00.000-08:00

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

Well seems like the house is shakin' and a black cat moans under the hardwood floor in the living room. Maybe they made it home okay. It's getting late all of a sudden. The governor don't know what the hell he's talkin' about. Myrtle Beach, Georgetown, and Charleston are all withing the line of fire and he's telling us to relax. He's safe and sound behind ten feet of concrete in his bunker in Columbia with the rebel flag draped over his redneck.

oak tree breeze

2009-11-15T20:32:00.000-08:00

Not too many folks on the road right now, Sara glanced out the front living room window and noticed a huge live oak tree bending in the breeze. The tree must weigh 2 or 3 tons and if it crashed into the house it would do some heavy damage. The lights flickered and so she reached in the coleman cooler and pulled out a bottle of Boone's Farm. She screwed off the top and guzzled a sip, then twisted her face into a pretzel grimace as she swallowed the wine. She grabbed a Virginia Slim menthol from her purse and lit it with Fred's silver Zippo.

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2009-09-20T08:15:00.001-07:00

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Tower of Pizza

2009-09-16T11:22:00.000-07:00

Friday night everyone headed to the "Tower of Pizza" for some pitchers of cheap beer and some greasy southern-fried pizza. The "Kudzu Shadows" played some loud rock and blues music. They stuck to mostly three chord Chuck Berry style songs like Johnny B. Good and Roll Over Beethoven. Every song had a spot built in for a drum solo too. Drum solos had been real popular ever since In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida came out. The crownd tonight filtered in from the early season football game. Cigarette smoke swirled around the stage and the band launched into a long version of Whipping Post by the Allman Brothers Band.

Football

2009-09-14T11:21:00.001-07:00

I tried to call her Saturday night, but there was no answer. I'm pretty sure they went to Virginia for the football game. I don't know if they were coming back to South Carolina today with this hurricane bearing down on Charleston and Myrtle Beach. They may have stayed up in Richmond or even spent the night in D.C.

Worried A Little

2009-09-12T13:32:00.000-07:00

I sure hope this storm doesn't completely demolish all of Myrtle Beach. I want to go down there next spring and just hang out and chill for a while. It was so much fun seeing all of you when we went on vacation at the beach. We stayed down at Ocean Drive. There was a funky little beach band doing old rhythm and blues stuff like the Temps and even some older songs from the Drifters.

Waitin' On Her

2009-09-12T03:56:00.001-07:00

When she gets home there will be a few cold Cokes in the fridge. I think there's one Red Rock soda left. Those boys from college left their litle cheap, styrofoam cooler in the kichen. All the ice melted and there are three hot 12 ounce Buds in there still connected by a white plastic loop.

"Wicked" Wilson Pickett's singing on the radio. He's singing about,"Gonna wait til the Midnight Hour, when all my love comes tumblin' down."

Love, ain't it something. The boys just had to leave and go back to Columbia right now and leave us here to fend for ourselves in this hurricane. We could have used the moral support as well as some help with the house. They were probably too hungover to be much good at carpentry anyway.

There's nothing like trying to read by candlelight.

Official Lucky Rooster Merchandise Available

2009-08-14T10:40:00.001-07:00

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Official Lucky Rooster Merchandise Available

2009-08-13T21:42:00.001-07:00

Official Lucky Rooster Merchandise Available

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The Storm

2009-08-10T19:53:00.000-07:00

All she could think about was the baby. Where was Luke? She stomped her bare feet on the mountain green crushed velvet carpet. I'll bet he stopped by to see Sister Rose. She's always telling fortunes or so they say. I think something else goes on behind those hanging love beads, she thought. Thunder. She saw a flash. Boom. Lightning. She counted. One. one thousand,two,two thousand, three, boom. The television went dark. The red AT&T wall phone rang. Maybe it's the long lost prodigal son, she chuckled to herself. No, that's not the right story. Maybe more like King David and his baby when he got caught cheating. Well I hope this doesn't come to that extreme. Nothing to kill or die for here.

"Honey,Is that you?"

"Oh Lord, please Jesus,help me"

"Oh no"

"Help!"

Jake's Drive-In

2009-08-05T22:16:00.000-07:00

Three strands of Christmas tree lights dangled from the edge of the porch roof down at Jake's Drive-In. The only car in the parking lot was the candy apple red SS 396 Chevrolet Chevelle parked sideways with one white hood-stripe showing towards Church Street. Empty Dixie Cups bounced across the asphalt. They danced over the splattered red and green reflections while "Satisfaction" blared from the cheap outdoor metallic speaker. It was Sunday night.

Sunday Night Late

2009-07-23T16:30:00.001-07:00

She waited for Shyla to get back from the Zippy Mart. Those batteries gonna cost $5 or more, but we got no choice, she thought. It's gonna be a long time before the power comes back on and it's hard to get around without any light. We should be able to listen to the radio maybe pick up the weather forecast or something. The storm is supposed to hit Georgetown,Myrtle Beach, or Charleston and how bad it gets here will depend on exactly where it hits. It could skirt the coast and hit the Outer Banks of North Carolina. Cape Hatteras usually gets hit but it could come here.

Hurry,Shyla,hurry.

July

2009-07-10T07:42:00.001-07:00

Hot, sticky, black, stillness swallowed this small southern town. He’d smiled and joked with the lady as he asked her about the hay for sale on her farm. She told the stranger he’d have to talk to her husband because she had to go into town. The tall stranger grinned and followed her to the front door of her house. She did remember that he was tall and the truck he drove was tan or brown or gold with a sticker on the bumper. Now it was dark and a crowd gathered across town while sheriff’s deputies strung yellow crime-scene tape around the yard and house.

Sunday Everning

2009-07-07T07:49:00.000-07:00

No need to hurry, I thought, as I surveyed the dark water. It would take another 6 or 7 hours of steady rain before the muddy water began to seep under my front door and another day or more before it reached the top of the stairs. I decided to meander into the kitchen and get a cold Pabst Blue Ribbon out of the fridge. I popped the top and leaned against the bar. I was glad that I'd stocked up on beer when I did. Can't buy beer from anywhere 'cept bootleggers on Sunday anyway.

Sunday Night

2009-06-12T17:25:00.000-07:00

It rained all day Friday,Saturday,and by Sunday evening waves of water cascaded over the top concrete step in the center of the front porch. I reached in my shirt pocket,pulled out my Zippo, and lit a Kool.

2009-05-31T19:44:00.001-07:00

2009-05-23T15:05:00.000-07:00

Smoke swirled waxed fire red plastic jumbo cup of crushed ice flavored with lime-green gin based hot-pink lipstick edge. Slide trombone electric blues train chugged five miles out from the station when we first saw her silhouette moonbeams cast upon emerald green felt loaded with blazing red die. Seven.

Black River

2009-05-09T14:47:00.000-07:00

Jahneesha rubbed her eyes,glanced at the alarm clock and turned her head into the fluffy overstuffed pillow.

"Damn," she mumbled while she fumbled with the clock.

This sure was the fastest weekend I've ever seen, she thought. It was wonderful to see all of the old gang but none of them have jobs and Jahneesha just started on her first "real" job. A "great" job, her grandmother told her, with the Black River Sheriff's Department.

Jahneesha had to agree with most of this since all of her close friends were still unemployed. They all majored in stuff like Sociology,Psychology, and English. Jahneesha majored in Biology and was excited when she was called in fore an interview with the Black River Sheriff's Department. She made it through all three rounds of interviews too.

(continued)

luckywriter

SC Intelligentsia Grill Eggs on Piggly Wiggly Pavement

No Foolin'- THEY are Home Schoolin'

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