The only thing that has really changed since that post is my mindset. I am now more willing to be alright with where I am.  

From time to time, there’s a little voice that pops up and says: “You don’t know where you’re going so you should be setting goals, making things happen. Hustling.”

Even though that might be great advice in some cases, I’ve come to understand something about “hustling” which is: When the hustle stems from passion, it’s fruitful. When it stems from fear or urgency to change for the sake of change, it’s not. You need a solid direction when you are hustling and it is OK to stand in place for a season and take in where you are without the compulsion to be moving and achieving.

I often look to my past to help me think about how things might play out in the future. When I do that I can say in retrospect that I’ve never really known for certain where I’m going. It feels freeing to acknowledge that. Oh, sure I’ve had plans and a rough idea of where I might like things to lead. But I’ve realized that I’m on a path that is ever changing, ever evolving, and can’t be nailed down to a rigid, calculated trajectory. Would I ever have thought I’d end up where I am now, doing what I’m doing now at this time of my life? Nope. Iowa? What the…

But when I moved here it was 1000% where my path was leading. How did I know? Nothing could keep me from it.

That feeling of surety felt like excitement and absolute confidence. At the time I didn’t know how all of the specifics would play out but I felt certain that they would fall into place. I didn’t have a job I was transferring to, I didn’t have an apartment or house rented, but the overwhelming feeling of rightness eclipsed all of that. I felt like I could work out those details as things unfolded.

Although those times of surety and big change are wonderful and satisfying, what do you do during the long stretches in between where you feel like you’re just plodding along? I think we put way too much pressure on ourselves to be constantly achieving. I’ve also noticed that we’re often so close to our everyday lives that we don’t have the perspective to notice the subtle ways in which things are changing.

When I took mental stock at the end of 2018, my initial thought was “not much happened.” But when I reflected more fully, it became clear that there were a TON of new experiences, new creative ventures and new relationships that had evolved progressively throughout the year. Since they happened a little bit at a time it was easy to overlook them and feel like I was exactly where I’d been twelve months prior, but that wasn’t the case at all. I’ve found it’s helpful to remember this during times when it feels like nothing’s happening.

This past year of 2018 I found myself working on a lot of new projects. I created an online songwriting course and a number of promotional teaching tools around that. I did a weekly songwriting tips series on YouTube for almost 2 months which was a ton of fun.

As soon as that series ended I took a short trip to Orlando to stay with family. During that trip, I was thinking a lot about 'what's next.' The question was intended as a what's next in all areas of life but, as is the case for me most of the time, the question tended towards work. So I was brainstorming about what I wanted to do next with my songwriting teaching material and came up with a whole new YouTube series that I was really excited about for a couple of weeks.

I returned to Iowa with new plans, wrote a long script for a new YouTube video and then... things changed.

Not all at once, they must have changed quietly in the background when I wasn't looking, but I suddenly found myself no longer interested in what I'd been working on for the past year. I know that could still shift and I could dive into creating songwriting content once again but right now that's definitely not the case.

I had a small revelation a couple of weeks ago which was "what if I just be for a while?" I've found some freedom in NOT asking myself every day "what's next?" "what are you doing with your life?" "where are you going?" Or more bluntly "Dude you're nearly 30, shouldn't you be further along?" I was in the habit of asking those questions so often and coming up with no concrete answers. I have a tendency to think of the future a lot of the time and sometimes that's helpful, but more often than not it can become quite restrictive and burdensome.

So for right now, my plan is to have no plan. I'm having fun performing, tightening up the last few tracks for the new album and generally just taking things as they come. I'm looking forward to spending some time with family over Christmas and welcoming the new year with open arms.

If any of this sounds like you (overthinking, generally judgmental thoughts about your place in the world) then I invite you to join me on this path of no path. Just for a little while. It's amazing how freeing it feels. We can be those weirdos that AREN'T posting the #hustle #workharder posts.

I wish you all a magnificent Holiday season - talk soon.

-Luke

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. 

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.

Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” - Victor Frankl

I’ve thought about this concept a lot, especially when it comes to relationships and I wanted to share some of the things I’ve realized along the way. We all have relationships that challenge us. Often they’re in our family, sometimes they’re in the workplace or sometimes they’re your partner. Either way, they’re relationships that we are in some way forced to resolve our differences in, which is fortunate as that helps us grow and mature. In hindsight, I’m most thankful for the challenging relationships I’ve had as they’ve held the biggest lessons.

I used to be triggered so easily by certain people in my life. Some small thing that was said could send me into a fit of frustration. It’s interesting to note how that no longer happens. It was a gradual change that happened over a few years and was the result of the inner work I was doing on a whole, not anything directly related to the people I was interacting with. I was starting to take responsibility for my responses to everything in life. My responses to situations and people but also my responses to my habitual thought patterns and my emotions.

There were some key pieces that helped me go from having knee-jerk responses to being able to more consciously choose my responses to others.

#1: Realize that oftentimes it’s not about you

Only someone who is hurting or frustrated or feeling threatened feels the need to lash out or blame. When you make the conscious connection that they must be feeling pretty crappy inside and that you’re just witnessing the tip of the iceberg you can have compassion for their pain. Just knowing this in the moment takes it out of the space of “I must have done something wrong” to “This person is hurting and I’m just witnessing the effects of that.”

#2: Don’t fuel the fire

Recently I saw a short video clip that spoke about responding to contempt with warm-heartedness. It’s interesting to see what happens when you don’t respond to negativity with more negativity. It’s like pulling the gas away from the fire. I think every argument stems from two people who both need to be right. What happens when you no longer need to prove someone else wrong? There’s no foundation for an argument. They say “You’re wrong - THIS is the way it is!” and you say “Okay.” Argument over.

#3: Don’t expect others to recognize your response

In order to offer compassion or love in an unconditional way, we have to be completely untethered from people’s response to our responses. It would be nice if everyone would acknowledge and praise us every time we choose to respond and not react but that won’t be the case. Choose a compassionate response not for anyone else’s sake but for your own. Choose to be compassionate because anything else feels less than the goodness that you know yourself to be.

I go into greater detail and get more into the nitty-gritty of challenging relationships on my Patreon page where some of the Patrons have been sharing their thoughts and have had some AWESOME additions.

"If I 'meet and greet' as my true Self, all will unfold as beautifully as possible! Do we meet in fear, or do we meet in Love?!" - Mark Zanger

Can you think of a challenging relationship that forced you to examine your reactions/responses? Tell me how you dealt with it in the comments section below OR join the conversation over on Patreon.

For more content like this check out my blog post "How is this helping me?"

I first started noticing that I had this sense of intuition when I was reading a lot about using my emotions as a guide map in life. I was learning that I could rely on my joy and passion to guide me towards activities and life paths that would serve my highest good. This idea of having the ability to guide my life from within rather than relying on the outside world to determine my actions and decisions was very intriguing. For a while I really dedicated myself to following my joy as often as possible. I let the fact that an action felt joyful or exciting be the reason for pursuing it rather than thinking about what the action was going to net me in terms of results or rewards. This was the extent of my experience of intuition between the years 2011 and 2014.

In the summer of 2014, I started having bouts of intense anxiety and my world was turned upside down. I no longer felt that I could rely on my former stance of, “I’ll just follow my joy at every moment and everything will be hunky-dory.” If that were so why was I now experiencing this intense anxiety? This led to me getting in touch with myself and my intuition on a much deeper level.  

While I go into more detail about my anxiety attacks in the blog post Why do I suddenly feel like crap?, the only solution I found that helped was slowing down. I started going through my days at a more conscious pace in terms of the speed of my thoughts. Whenever I noticed my thoughts starting to ramp up to speeds that were uncomfortable I would take a few moments to breathe and regain clarity.

I noticed that approaching life at this slower more easy pace made me much more aware of my intuition. Those slight internal nudges or words that came from other people that felt like they were spoken just for me were no longer being drowned out by a mind that was traveling at a million miles an hour. Being in tune with myself in this new way greatly boosted my confidence. I knew that if there was a challenging decision that I had to make that I already had the answer at some level. It was just a matter of getting quiet enough to hear it.

These days I rely on my intuition to guide me in every moment. From the ‘big’ to the ‘small’ decisions I follow what feels right. If something feels like it was said just for me then I take notice of that. If a word or phrase comes up 10 times in one day and feels as if it’s life’s way of trying to get my attention then I take notice of that too. Living this way is so much more rewarding for me than trying to figure out which direction to go based on external influences. It has led to a sense of confidence that no matter what comes up I have the wisdom and wherewithal to navigate through it.  

Some practical tips for tuning into your intuition:

1. Set aside some time each day for quietness. This can be a formal practice of meditation, prayer or reflection or just simply a block of time that you dedicate to relaxing and being more open.

2. Notice times in your life when you have had to make a decision based on a gut feeling or instinct rather than tangible physical evidence. Maybe you’ve already been noticing and following your intuition without knowing that that’s what you were doing.

3. Do something creative or fun. Often I find that when I’m being creative or just having fun with no specific agenda I get insights about things that are related to my work life or questions that I have about impending decisions to be made.

4. Ask a question. If you have a specific question such as “Should I leave this job/partner/situation?” try putting the question out there and seeing what you get back. I’ve been surprised at how useful this tactic is. Just asking the question will make you more aware of when you’re getting slight nudges to go in a certain direction. Sometimes things that people say will feel like they were meant just for you or a word or phrase will come up repeatedly throughout your week for you to take notice of.

I had the realization lately that things in my life happen for a reason and for my greatest benefit. When I look back, I see how once seemingly bad times in my life actually led me to decisions that served me greatly.

My first serious relationship turned into a long distance relationship when my girlfriend went away to college. While we were still dating, unbeknownst to me, she met and started a relationship with someone else. I was mortified. I couldn’t eat and laid in bed for days watching the movie ‘Ray’, a rather depressing movie, on repeat.

After two weeks of sulking, my dad suggested that I learn to meditate. I felt like I had hit my emotional rock bottom and had no reason or energy to protest. I was also fortunate that he is a Transcendental Meditation (TM) instructor. Learning TM was the beginning of the most significant phase in my life. I may have never have taken that path had it not been for the infidelity and breakup.

Sometimes we have to be brought to our lowest point to make choices that we wouldn’t have made otherwise.

I’ve realized that all experiences, both good and bad, are part of my path for a reason and contain teachable moments that help me grow towards my best self. Now, rather than fretting when something challenging comes my way, I remind myself to pay attention in the moment. What is this moment trying to teach me? How will this serve me?

Applying this way of thinking throughout my day to day life brings me a huge feeling of relief and a sense of peace. Even if I can't see the good in present suffering, I have faith that all things are working for good.

I am now open to whatever comes my way and don’t fight those things that bring momentary unhappiness. I simply say to myself, “All things are happening for my highest good no matter how I feel right now” and I look for the life lessons. It's not a magic bullet. I still at times feel an initial sense of frustration or worry at not knowing how things are going to work out. But I’ve noticed that the harder the challenge, the bigger the payoff when I come out the other end.

Sometimes I’ll come up with examples of how things that initially seem like they’re going “wrong” may be helping me. For example, if I’m impatiently stuck behind a slow car in traffic I might think to myself that maybe this slow driver is helping me avoid an accident. Maybe this slow driver is reminding me to slow down in general. I change that moment of frustration into something positive that I can then feel grateful for.

If a restaurant messes up my order and gives me something different I might think to myself 'maybe that’s just what my body needs at this moment' or maybe it will help me try something new that I’ll end up loving. I then practice gratitude on the heels of that. These sound like small things but these ‘small things’ add up to make the big part of our lives. The experience is something I have no control over but I can control how I respond and interpret it. Those thoughts are directly connected to my mood and feelings which in turn gauge how I act towards myself and others.

This also works for me on the big changes in life. When I lost my full-time job I thought, “Thank you for helping to move me in the direction of something that is more in line with what I love to do.” When my long-term romantic relationship ended I thought, “There must be a relationship that is beyond what I can imagine at this moment or maybe I need some time by myself to figure out who I am as an individual.”

There are inevitably times when I have trouble seeing the silver lining. In those times what I have to lean on is the track record of all those time seemingly negative circumstances ended up being the pivot point in my life. When I have no idea how anything could possibly be helping me I remind myself how all things work for good. I use those instances as an opportunity to practice faith, courage, or forgiveness. This practice has led to no longer seeing myself as a victim but as someone who is loved and faithful to the path my life is on, wherever that takes me.

If you have any similar practices or experiences or any thoughts on this topic in general I’d love to hear them in the comments section. Thanks for reading!

Life was dandy. I had an incredible position at Walt Disney World as a full-time musician, a great relationship, and no reason to feel badly about anything. But that afternoon sitting on the couch watching an episode of Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee with my girlfriend I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my stomach. It wasn’t like anything I had ever felt before. I couldn’t tell if it was emotional pain or actual physical pain. It was similar to that feeling you get when you hear terrible news combined with the worst stomachache you can imagine. I excused myself from the comedy and went to lay down for a few minutes. I examined all possible causes and decided it must have been what I ate for lunch. I found some momentary relief in my logical assumption.

Later on that day the feeling returned. The way I described it to my bandmates at the time was, “It feels like my mind is moving faster than my body can handle.” I pasted a smile over my discomfort for the remainder of the evening as it’s all I could think to do. I was hoping that a good night's sleep would be the solution, but alas that was not the case. This whole situation had me quite perplexed. I had been on the positive thinking train for a few years at this point and had gotten pretty good at noticing how my thoughts are linked to my emotions. Why in a time of my life when I was happy and content was I suddenly feeling this intense feeling of panic?

For the first few weeks or so I tried to cover up the feeling with any noise I could insert into my surroundings that would drown it out. I buckled down on my positive thinking tactics: appreciating more, smiling more often. All of this effort just seemed to exacerbate the anxiety. After a few weeks of denial and fruitless effort, I tried the only thing I hadn’t thought of yet which was to slow down. I took more alone time at work and in my relationship. I would sit with my eyes closed and listen to music that provided a blanket of white noise while breathing as slowly and deeply as possible. I found that the pace of my breath seemed to correlate to the pace of my thoughts. This helped and I started to feel a little more sane. When the anxious feeling crept back in, I would take it as a cue to slow down.

This process of slowing down and listening to myself helped me become aware of my habitual patterns of thought. I noticed how comparing myself to others or to a version of myself that I thought I should be was creating a sense of anxiety and panic. I had to start unwinding the habit of compulsively comparing and criticizing myself. Some examples of thoughts I would have on a daily basis: “Why don’t I have the vocal stamina of these other vocalists I’m performing with?” “Look how easily this guy seems to be handling all of these tasks. There’s no way I could do that, I’d become overwhelmed. What’s wrong with me?” Any time I was feeling less than exuberantly joyful I would look around and see how happy everyone else seemed to be and think “I should be happy right now. What reason do I have not to be happy?”

I wish I could say that becoming aware of these habits of critical self-judgement instantly cured me from them but that was not the case. It took a few months of being diligent about my thoughts and noticing when I was being critical of myself. Any time a thought of self judgement would arise and start gaining momentum I would cut the cord to that train of thought. I found that the earlier I caught a thought, the easier it was to change it. I started practicing replacing the judgmental thoughts with ones that were positive and made me feel better about myself. I became my own inner caretaker, soothing myself back from the brink of what felt like insanity at every opportunity. Saying to myself, “All is well.” “It’s okay.” “Be easy on yourself.”

I’m able now to look back at this time in my life with immense gratitude. Had it not been for this challenging phase I may never have come to the sense of independence that I now have. It freed me from the need to weigh every decision against the opinions and judgements of others. And although that voice of self-criticism still rears it’s head from time to time I now have a process to deal with it. I respond lovingly, thanking it for it’s input without allowing it to guide my decisions or to keep me in a perpetual cycle of self judgement.

I think it’s important to state that at the time when I was going through this phase of strong anxiety I had already been meditating for a number of years. This coupled with my naturally introverted and introspective nature helped me to deal with this situation by myself. Had the anxiety or panic gotten any worse or had I not found a suitable solution I very well may have needed to reach out for help. If you’re going through something similar don’t ignore the signs, they’re there for a reason. Be aware of what your body or emotions may be trying to tell you and don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you don’t feel you have someone you can turn to there are some great online resources including this one at Lifeline.org.

Thanks for reading and I’d love to hear anything you have to add or share in the comments section.

Helpful songs for slowing down during times of anxiety:

Be Here Now by Ray Lamontagne

The Tourist by Radiohead

Take It Easy by The Eagles

For some context, it’s important to state that over time I’ve developed a strong sense of following my gut and intuition. I think it’s what people mean when they say “follow your heart.” For a while now I have given that small whisper of a voice priority over all opinions from the world around me. I was really quite surprised when about a week ago my intuition started telling me to drink milk. Not almond, soy, or coconut milk - real cow's milk. I dismissed it over and over. Surely that couldn’t be my intuition speaking - I’m VEGAN, and I was led to become vegan by following what my body wanted. After a few days of dismissal, I had this wacky dream where I was looking upwards to the sky with my mouth open, and milk was being poured down my throat in a constant stream. I woke up perplexed. At this point, I knew pretty certainly what my body wanted but still was resisting it. It took some poignant words from a friend to help me finally take the leap:

“Are you doing eyes-wide-shut on something that you know you need but you don’t want to give yourself because you think it’s not right?”

That question hit home. It’s funny how someone telling you what you already know seems to give it more validity. I started to take a look at how I had come to judge, quite harshly in some cases, certain foods as “right” and others as “wrong.” It all stemmed from a well-intentioned desire for greater health but somewhere along the way it had become more about getting it right and being perfect than honoring what my body was asking for. I finally saw the irony of what I was doing. Feeling empowered by my new realization I went straight to the closest grocery store and bought a pint of organic, unhomogenized whole milk from a local farm as well as some other things I hadn’t consumed for a year or more. You might think that a slow and gradual re-introduction would have been best but the feeling I had when drinking that first glass of milk after abstaining from dairy for a year or more was similar to how it feels when you finally get a drink of water after being severely dehydrated.

This whole experience was quite freeing. It forced me to admit how much judgement I had unintentionally placed on food and as soon as I faced those judgements they disappeared. The decision to end my vegan ways also felt challenging because I had told so many people about my dietary choices. It was almost as if I had made being vegan some noble character trait.

Needless to say I learned an important lesson that it’s best to listen to what my body is asking for and to honor those requests even if they’re contrary to what the latest study totes as the diet that is best.

A close friend helped me to put it all into perspective after I had asked her to proofread this blog post:

“No one cares if you’re vegan or now not-vegan :) They just care about you.”

I’ve spent the majority of my life mastering the art of people-pleasing. It’s my nature to want to please everyone around me. That in itself I see as a very innocent and well-intentioned quality. But what that usually leads to is creating a facade that will be pleasing to whoever I happen to be around. I think that this sometimes gives people the impression that I don’t ever have struggles or emotions. Why is this a problem?

Passion or platitudes?

I’m at a point now where if I’m spending time with someone I want to have real conversations that ignite something of worth in each of us rather than just a polite exchange of platitudes.  I’m sure you’ve had experiences where you’re speaking to someone, and the conversation is thrilling and lights you up in all sorts of ways. That’s what I’m ready for now.  Usually having these sorts of conversations involves stepping beyond the comfort zone that the false facade provides and sharing something a little more personal. That requires a degree of vulnerability.   

Despite popular belief, I’m not a robot.

I think the fact that I’m an introvert to the max makes it all the more important for me to open up more and let others know that beneath the stoic Spock-like surface of logic and reason there is something going on emotionally. Being vulnerable enough to share what I’m feeling lets people know that I’m human after all and that I go through all of the same struggles everyone else does. A simple way I’ve started exercising this is by letting people know how much I appreciate them and their role in my life.

The fear of rejection

Apart from wanting others to feel comfortable around me, there’s another reason I don’t let people see my true self. If you don’t know the real me, then your rejection won’t hurt as much. But what do I really gain from that? Shielding myself from any external rejection also means I’m not capable of having true, honest and intimate relationships. In order to truly connect with others that wall has to be torn down.

Vulnerability is a prerequisite to authentic Creativity

Because creativity is my life, It’s essential that I embrace vulnerability. Creativity is self-expression and if I’m going to create in the most authentic way and share that with the world I have no choice but to be vulnerable. For example, a little over a year ago I made the transition from a musician playing cover songs for money to devoting myself fully to my own creative endeavors. I knew that I wanted to be someone who uplifts others in some way. The first step I took in this direction was posting my thoughts and any quotes I found had inspired me on social media. I was surprised how apprehensive I was to posting positive quotes online. I was afraid that people would judge me harshly for posting trite or overused aphorisms.  Even though what I was sharing was always met with a positive response there were many times at the beginning where I sat seized with indecision about posting something and just imagined what others were going to think of what I had to say. “Cheesy.” “Get real.” “Who do you think you are, Oprah?” These fears only subsided when I realized that firstly that wasn’t the response I was getting at all and more importantly that those people who may derive some comfort from the things I post are far more important to me than anyone who would use it as an opportunity to put me down.

This blog itself is a step towards greater vulnerability and honesty. It’s more comfortable for me to not write from a first person point of view at all. I’d rather pretend I’m infallible and have it all figured out. But not only is that laughably untrue it doesn’t help anyone either.

To conclude I’ll leave you with this quote that has become quite popular when speaking about this topic. And rightly so.

“It’s not the critic who counts. It’s not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who’s actually in the arena. Whose face is marred with dust and sweat and blood. Who strives valiantly but comes up short again and again. Who in the end may know the triumph of high achievement but when he fails he does so daring greatly.” - Theodore Roosevelt

When I look back over the past four months it’s really quite astonishing to see how quickly and completely my life has evolved. While I was in the midst of these transitions they seemed quite challenging indeed. I want to share with you some things I learned about courage and faith.

If there is a decision you’re considering making that has been in the back of your mind (or screaming loudly in your face) for some time hopefully something I say here can help give you some direction.

Create some distance

Sometimes I’ll get an impulse or instinctive urge and in that moment it’s pure and clear and I feel pretty good about it. Then I put it through a few cycles of analyzing, doubting, questioning and asking others for their opinion and I end up not so sure any more. This is what helped me past my doubt. I thought to myself “Although this decision may feel all important and life-changing what if I could just put it down for a moment? What if I could create some space between me and it?” I did the best I could to give my brain the day off from deliberating. It might be hard for you to go a full day but even giving your brain a break for an hour can help immensely. This helped me regain some sense of objectivity and clarity about how I truly felt regarding the situation. There’s a reason that “sleep on it” is such a common piece of advice. 

One way to create this buffer is to decide that tomorrow will be your day off from thinking about this situation or decision. After a night of sleep you wake up with a clean slate. When the thought comes creeping back in (which it most likely will) do your best not to engage with it. Treat it like a radio station that’s playing in the background that even though you can hear it you’re not focused on what it’s saying. It also helps to change up your routine and do something that completely removes you from the situation. 

Have the courage to put yourself first

Something I stumbled upon during this time of change was worrying about how my decisions are going to affect the people around me. How is it going to make them feel and what if they don’t like the decisions I make? Often we would rather deal with the discomfort of staying in a situation that’s no longer in our best interest rather than letting someone else down. This is where the courage part comes in. Ultimately you have to put yourself at the top of your priority list and expect everyone else to do the same for themselves. 

It also helps to realize that when others see you having the confidence to travel your own path it may inspire them to do the same. And that’s something worth getting excited about.

A lesson in Faith

Throughout making these changes I was forced to learn to have faith and trust in myself. It’s a little bit of the old adage “jump and the net will appear” but there’s a huge sense of freedom that comes from no longer having to weigh your decisions against other peoples opinions that makes it more than worth taking that leap. This challenging time you’re going through may be the very thing that will help you learn to follow your own lead and trust your own knowing. That's what it did for me.

-Luke

A few years ago my new years resolutions were things that might sound familiar: "Exercise more" "Achieve this goal" "Make more money" "Be happier damn it." Then I discovered a new way to look at resolutions. I started looking at them in emotional terms. I noticed that all of those actions and outcomes that I wanted to achieve were extremely dependent on how I felt on a day-to-day basis. I was also finding that how I felt day-to-day was more important than what I accomplished and had to come first.

That's why I propose this for 2017:

When we find ways to love ourselves in however we see fit from moment to moment we start to finally get our life moving concordantly in one direction. Instead of our intentions and our actions being like two trains headed in opposite directions they start lining up more and more. From experience I can tell you that being nicer to yourself and focusing on your emotional state first will result in everything that sounds desirable. Better self-esteem, better relationships, better food choices, more energy to put towards your goals and MOST important - you just feel happier as you go throughout your day. 

So you may be thinking "Cool.... how do I 'love myself'"? And the easiest answer is do whatever makes you feel more relaxed and more comfortable in your body in any given moment. It can be an action such as taking a nap, listening to music you enjoy, taking a walk in nature, meditating etc but it doesn't have to be. Some of the most helpful tools I've discovered are thought based. What complements can you offer yourself? How often can you give yourself the benefit of the doubt? How many times per day can you appreciate yourself and recognize how well you're doing? 

I invite you to consider this approach and please let me know what you think! Write to me at luke@lukedavids.com

Hope you have a wonderful New Years weekend - see you in 2017!

-Luke

1. Find your “Why”

At first the change felt so natural and right I almost didn’t stop to think why I was doing it. That is until I started telling people i’m going vegan and they asked “Why?” I didn’t really have a response ready. So this prompted me to explore the reasons behind this change beyond following my impulses. 

I can tell you once I reflected a little and found my Why’s it has made me feel a whole lot more secure in my decision. If this is something you’re considering, first off ask yourself “why?” and take some time to think about it. Maybe it’s health related, maybe it’s ethics, maybe it’s just the new hip thing to do and you want to see what all of the fuss is about. Whatever your reasons are, identify them and it will make the transition a whole lot smoother. 

2. Make it gradual

Before starting my Raw Vegan experiment I had started to ween myself off of dairy while at home. Almost to the point where I was eating 100% vegan at home and only eating dairy and fish when I was out at restaurants. This prompts you to gradually explore some substitutions for your favorite meals and to also try some new recipes over time. If you have a strong urge to go full vegan right away and jump in with both feet then great! But i’ve found it’s easier to make these changes gradually to give your eating habits time to adjust. I think it makes reverting back to old ways less likely as well.

3. Approach it as a trial period and find a buddy

When you approach something as just a new fun thing you’re exploring rather than a HUGE life changing decision there’s much less pressure. Play with the idea for a while and think “Well if i wasn’t eating this, what could I eat instead?” “What could I order in restaurants that I go to instead of my usual?” You may find that it’s not as restricting as you previously thought. Many restaurants offer vegan options these days and sometimes it’s as easy as just saying ‘no cheese’. It also helps not to announce to everyone that you’re going vegan in the beginning. Until you’re really sure it’s something you want to commit to it’s easier if you don’t have to answer a million questions and concerns. But if you have a partner or friend that you can try this with it is much more fun! Kelley and I have been playing around with different vegan recipes and ideas for a while and it’s something new and creative for us to explore together. 

4. Since it’s just something new and fun you’re trying there’s no failure involved 

I think it’s important to state that this isn’t the first time I’ve considered going vegan. I tried it back in late 2013 and was miserable. It didn’t last long as I wasn’t ready for the change. So don’t be discouraged if you try it and then revert back to old habits. If the change is right for you it will come up again at a more suiting time.

Unhealthy Vegans?!

I think it’s also important to state that the Vegan movement has been taking off rapidly in the past few years. As a result there are lots of vegan restaurants popping up all over the place. This is great! There are lots of vegan options and lots of substitutes for your favorite foods that taste quite similar and in some cases identical. However it is also easier now to be vegan and be not so healthy. (A vegan donut is still a donut). So if you decide to try this don’t forget about your fruits and veggies!

I hope you found this helpful. Please comment with any questions you may have :-)

-Luke

P.S. If you're near the Orlando area be sure to check out my friends Becca and Mike at Leguminati. They run an all vegan food truck and make DELICIOUS vegan cheeses, meats and more that you can buy on their site or at any of the farmers markets they sell at.

- No animal products

- No processed foods

- No refined sugars

- No caffeine/alcohol

- No chemical or preservative ridden foods

- TONS of raw fruits and vegetables - Raw foodists believe that cooking food above 118 F kills off all of the digestive enzymes and may start to produce toxic bacteria. I don’t claim to know if this is true or not. There is a lot of evidence on both sides of the debate.
 

I approached this experiment with the mindset that it would be more of a detox/cleanse rather than a sustainable lifelong approach to eating. However some of the results I got were very enticing. Overall I felt much lighter, happier, brighter and clearer. The mental clarity was the most notable thing. Physically I had more energy and alertness. This continued pretty steadily. It felt like I had taken a happy pill that also increased my focus 500%. I went through some mild detox symptoms but nothing too bad. I wasn’t eating incredibly unhealthy before this diet but it did help me break some habits. Mainly a slight addiction to refined sugars and the habit of overeating. Often I’d eat way more than necessary at a sitting just because the food was available and tasted good. This would result in becoming quite sleepy after meals and often a little bit of a dulled mental effect/feeling sluggish.

Some happy results from this diet that I am very pleased with: 

- Tried a BUNCH of new fruits and vegetables, many of which I will continue to eat because they’re delicious (dragonfruit, papaya, guava, tangelos, jicama, sunflower sprouts)

- Got very creative with recipes (some were gross, some were great)

- Shed a few unnecessary pounds around the waist. Yes I’m skinny to start with but that doesn’t mean my body fat % is ideal

- Definitely gave my body a nice detox period

- Did a TON of research and learned lots of things. 

- Kicked some unhealthy habits

- Learned how to sprout nuts and seeds (AWESOME by the way. Will keep doing this.) 

A few diet downfalls:

- Difficult to get daily calories since raw diet foods are all quite low in calories

- Lots of research is required

- Lots of food prep is required

- Huge adjustment from the way most of us are accustomed to eating

- Questionable longterm sustainability (some people are able to follow the diet longterm but the majority don't
 

What did I learn? 

One huge breakthrough for me was finally coming to the terms with the fact that the amount of protein that is widely thought of as necessary is extremely exaggerated. There is firm science behind the fact that our body’s only need around 5-6% of daily calories from protein to thrive. 10% is the number that these findings settled on as a comfortable goal. But going over the 10% is unnecessary and can cause more work for the body to break down the excess proteins. I know that stocking up on protein is quite a widely accepted theme at the moment (and I also know that lots of companies benefit from promoting this belief) but do your research and gauge it for yourself. Replace the excess protein intake with more HEALTHY carbs and see how you feel and what results you get. 

Also if you’re researching a diet with the idea that there should be a ubiquitous answer that everyone agrees on you can drive yourself crazy. For every style of diet, food and “superfood” there are 100 doctors who believe it’s great and 100 doctors who say it’s rubbish. So what do you do after you come back from the brink of insanity poring through conflicting findings as I did last night? 

You listen to the only person that matters and that’s yourself. Listen to your body and common sense. Pay attention to how you feel after certain foods. There are some universal things that we all know we could change to be healthier (mainly the list at the top of the page) but apart from that I don’t believe there is ONE diet that will work 100% for everybody all the time. Experiment. Do your own research and be honest with yourself. 

IF YOU TRY IT:

You are going to find it hard to get your daily calories in the beginning. Some helpful tips are:

DON’T: 

Try to recreate all of your favorite foods to fit into the raw diet. This is hugely time consuming and for me it resulted in many bad meals and wasted money on expensive ingredients. Also the amount of fats in a lot of the raw recipes that try to imitate popular foods is unhealthy and gave me quite a few stomach aches.

DO:

- Eat a ton of fruit - this is where you will get most of your calories

- Track your calories to make sure you’re meeting daily needs in all categories (use this calculator for overall calories and this one to calculate information for juices if need be)

- Shoot for roughly an 80/10/10 split of carbs/proteins/fats

- Recognize any negative symptoms you have and see if they line up with detox symptoms. Chances are that’s what will happen in the beginning. 

- Read this guys blog. He's experimented extensively and maintains a mostly raw diet with beneficial effects to his health.

Where am I now?

As most people do I struggled to get enough calories per day on the raw diet in the beginning. Eating the amount of fruit that you need to stay full on a raw diet is definitely an adjustment. I decided this morning that I would start to incorporate a few more foods into my diet (mainly oats, beans, legumes, quinoa etc) but will definitely stay vegan and off of processed foods and refined sugars as much as possible. This morning for breakfast I had a concoction of oats, hemp seeds, chia seeds, berries and almond milk. It definitely filled me up but I did notice feeling a little dehydrated afterwards and made a 16 oz fruit/veggie juice to balance it out. No idea if this was connected to my breakfast or something else entirely. 

As this week progresses I’ll see how my diet changes and if I have any interesting new developments I’ll be sure to share them with all of you. 

I hope this helps you become healthier and more informed in one way or another!

-Luke

1. Soothe an overactive mind:

If you’re living and participating in Western society these days chances are you have times where it feels like your mind is receiving 20 radio stations at once. Nonstop thoughts, chatter and mental noise that makes it hard to focus or follow a specific train of thought for very long. Whenever I’m feeling this way I make it a point to implement this practice. It can help to slow down the mental chatter and bring greater clarity and focus. I’ve found that the amount of time needed to achieve the clarity I’m seeking depends on how fast my mind is moving. 

2. Relax the body:

The effect of this practice brings greater relaxation to the body almost instantly. I usually notice my shoulders dropping, my jaw loosening, and any muscles that are unnecessarily tense start to ease up.

3. Overall sense of peace: 

This ties in quite closely with #1 but is worth mentioning since “peace” is sometimes thought of either only conceptually or as something that is accomplished by controlling external circumstances and conditions. Peace is really something that we foster internally. When utilized consistently this practice certainly leads to a greater sense of peace. 

The practice:

Slow. Your. Breath. Breathe deeply, slowly, gently and let your focus be on your breath for a few seconds or minutes given your situation. (Yes this is similar to meditation but doesn’t have to be thought of in that sense exclusively.) 

Whenever I can feel that I’m rushing around either physically or mentally I always stop and take just a few long deep breaths and make a point to relax my body.  You can even mentally say “relaxxxx” to yourself while doing this if you feel it helps. You may be thinking “Well what if I’m rushing around because I have stuff that needs to get done?!” and I promise you that taking the time to slow down and breathe doesn’t mean that you don’t get things done. It means you are putting your mental and physical well-being at the top of your priorities list, right where they should be. The result is that you feel better and are more focused while taking care of your daily responsibilities. 

Also I often find that when I take the time to just breathe something will pop into my head that I’d either forgotten to do or hadn’t thought of doing before-hand. When your mind is clear it makes space for helpful impulses to arise that help guide you through your day.

Try it! And let me know how it goes. I hope this helps : )

I have noticed that the process of “loving yourself” is actually more about breaking old habits of thought. At least it has been for me. It’s a process of lessening the amount of self deprecating thoughts that fill your mind on a day to day basis. Those thoughts about “Should’ve done this better” or “I can’t do this because…” or “I don’t deserve this or that.” 

Simply it’s about saying “I SUCK” less to yourself. Sounds insane that we would even have these habits of thought when you talk about them head on. But alas if they are present, here’s a sort of “loving yourself to do list” that you can gradually start to implement:

1. Stop comparing yourself to others in a judgmental fashion

    This was step 1 for me. Once I noticed that this was a habit it became blatantly obvious how often I indulged in degrading myself because I’m not someone else. “Man, look what THEY’RE accomplishing/doing/living.”  We didn’t come to be other people we came to be the best versions of ourselves!

2. Find things to appreciate about yourself

    This may feel awkward at first but it gets easier over time. It can be simply noticing when you’ve done something well. Or you can flat out make a list of things that you know you thrive at. Things that you identify that you like about yourself already. 

3. Make time for what you love to do

    This took me a while to fully implement. The old thought-pattern of “I have to struggle and work hard” doesn’t die easily. And I’m not saying there isn’t value to working. However everyone deserves a balance and needs time to rest and recuperate. Schedule things during your week that you are doing simply because you enjoy them. They can be super simple things. But make it a point to have a balance.

Please feel free to comment and share a link to this blog if you'd like. Was this helpful? Any questions about how to more fully implement this idea of loving self? Leave a comment below. 

I attempted to sum up some key components that I found helped me when I decided to change my diet for the better. It was a gradual process but these are some of the things that I did and that I think can benefit all regardless of body type or dietary restrictions. 

For those who don't have the time or attention span to read the whole thing here's what I think the most helpful part of this email was: 

"Don't try to be a different person on day one. Small changes that you can adjust to over time will help the most. It can just be saying no to a dessert more of the time or adding a portion of vegetables or salad to your daily intake." 

Here's the email in it's entirety:

"So first off diet is a very personal thing. Our bodies are always communicating to us what they need most but it's up to us to be in tune with ourselves and listen. That takes a little attention and practice but there are some overall things I can tell you that I think can help. 

Improving your diet will of course improve all aspects of your physical health which includes your voice. Some main things that will ensure you're at top notch physically and vocally:

1. Rest.

Getting good amounts of sleep before you sing is critical. No sleep usually means no voice.

2. Drink. More. Water.

This pertains to every part of health: Drink. More. Water. And less of everything else. Our bodies are made up of mainly water and most people drink everything but simple plain water. If you don't like plain water all that much look into some healthy water flavorings that use natural sweetening methods. 

3. Quality food (Organic and Non-GMO)

Lean more towards quality, natural and organic foods in every way. Yes organic is slightly more expensive but the difference in quality is night and day in some cases. This can be a gradual shift. The most important food items to make sure are high quality are meat and fish. Also fast food is pretty void of any benefit. It's okay every now and then if you have to have it but moderation is key. 

4. Less Sugar. High Fructose Corn Syrup is a big no no.

Cut down sugar intake. Especially if you're drinking or eatings things with High fructose corn syrup. This syrup wreaks havoc with your sugar levels and is the leading cause of imbalance and obesity when it comes to diet. If you need a sugary snack make sure it is sweetened just with sugar or even better with a healthier (note: not chemical) alternative of which there are many (organic cane syrup, organic coconut nectar etc etc).  Sweet n Low or the other kinds of chemical sweeteners are not helpful.

5. Breathe regular oxygen.

5. I'm not sure if you smoke or how often but I don't need to tell you about the effects that will have on your voice, I'm sure you know. So that's something you can work on as well. 

6. Rocky Balboa it up. 

6. Like you said - Rocky Balboa it up! Cardiovascular health will help you sustain notes and have an easier time breathing. And you'll look HAWT!

Lastly - with all of these points you need to find what works for you. The key you want to establish is consistency. it's easy to change for a week or a month but you want to implement things that are going to be sustainable for you. So if you hate broccoli find other vegetables to eat. If you can't find or afford ALL organic foods, just choose some - mainly meats or proteins as these are the most altered when not organic. If you're buying conventional fruits and veg that's fine but make you wash all of it well. This well get rid of the majority of pesticides used while growing. 

Don't try to be a different person on day one. Small changes that you can adjust to over time will help the most. It can just be saying no to a dessert more of the time or adding a portion of vegetables or salad to your daily intake. 

I hope this was helpful and please keep in touch. Would love to help in any way that I can - feel free to contact me any time. "

If you were following the release and subsequent promotion of my self-titled album that I released in late 2012 let me catch you up on what I’ve been doing since then. It’s been quite an interesting journey!

After the release of my self-titled album I quickly put a band together, started playing shows and doing what most bands do after the release of an album. It didn’t take long for me to realize that this wasn’t going to be a long term thing for me. At the end of 2013 I had had my fair share of performing. I realized in a big way that being on stage and playing my songs for people wasn’t enjoyable for me. The joy and passion I find is in the creating, recording and sharing my music with all of you!

I had also noticed quite strongly that the lyrical and emotional content of my songs wasn’t reflecting who I was becoming. I knew that I wanted my music to promote positivity rather than a feeling of longing and lost love. So since I was in the habit of writing in my old way I pretty much stopped writing altogether. I devoted my time to what I (and many others) call “Mastery of self”. This was a journey into my self; an exploration of my thoughts, emotions and beliefs which led me to a discovery of who I truly wanted to be.

It’s a fascinating journey that has no end but I now feel that I’m at a point where I can more consistently be what some call their 'true self'. It’s that part of me that experiences and expresses love, joy and peace! 

So now the underlying goal in all that I do is to promote positivity and upliftment. To be a positive example for others so that maybe they can find some more joy and peace in their lives as well if they so desire! 

Now that we’re up to date I’m extremely excited to announce that I’ll be releasing a steady stream of new music starting on 01/16/16! The first song that will be released is called “The Spotlight” and I’ll be sharing a free preview of that here soon. 

The plan is to release a new song every other month accompanied by a unique piece of inspired artwork for each song. I’m teaming up with talented artists and am so excited to watch them interpret my music in their own unique way.

If you’re an artist who would like to collaborate for one of my upcoming releases I’d love to hear from you! Please email me at luke@lukedavids.com.

I’m also excited because it’s the holiday season! My favorite time of year. The Christmas tree in my house smells so good I can hardly stand it. I'm showing off my fancy new Live to Love hoodie in this pic.

I’ll be sending out an original Christmas song to all subscribers pretty soon so stay tuned for that!

If you’re not already subscribed and would like to receive updates and free music you can sign up at: http://lukedavids.com/join

That’s all for now! Hit me up on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram for more frequent ramblings and musings on life. 

Talk to you all soon!

-Luke

This post was inspired by some advice I got from True Transformation. The guys over there are out to help people at any fitness level with questions they have on nutrition, work-outs or overall health. Please go check them out and see if they can help you!

QUEST SINLESS BROWNIES

Makes 6 brownies

You will need:

1 Chocolate Brownie Quest Bar
1 Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Quest Bar
1 package Quest Cravings Protein Peanut Butter Cups
1 mini muffin pan
Non-stick spray
Cutting board
Knife

Directions:

1. Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees F. Spray (6) mini cups of muffin pan.
2. Take a small cutting board and knife and cut each quest bar into 6 thin strips shortways.
3. Place on microwave safe dish and microwave all quest strips for 10 seconds on high.
4. Once out, mash one Chocolate Brownie strip into a ball-like-shape and press into one
hole of the muffin pan.
5. Take one of the Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough strips and press on top of the Brownie mashing down and totally covering it.
6. Repeat this 5 more times. Chop up both Quest Cravings Protein Peanut Butter Cups into crumbles. Sprinkle on top of each muffin. Bake approximately 10 minutes.

Serve warm. Enjoy!

(This recipe was created by Meghan S of BAD  - thanks Meghan!)