Lunar Rockpool

The Day Today on the baize

noreply@blogger.com (James Kelly) — Mon, 03 May 2010 17:49:25 PDT

The John Higgins situation is of course devastating for the sport of snooker, but I couldn't help raising a smile at the The Day Today-style grilling his manager received from a TV journalist yesterday -

"Has John Higgins ever thrown a pot?"

"No."

"Has he ever thrown a frame?"

"No."

"A match?"

"No."

"A TOURNAMENT?"

I've been trying to work out ever since how it would be possible to throw a match without throwing a tournament.

My Six Nations predictions

noreply@blogger.com (James Kelly) — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 21:08:35 PST

I filled out a sweepstake form for this year's championship a few days ago, and this is what I came up with -

England to beat Wales by less than 10
Ireland to beat Italy by 10 or more
France to beat Scotland by 10 or more

France to beat Ireland by less than 10
Wales to beat Scotland by 10 or more
England to beat Italy by 10 or more

France to beat Wales by less than 10
Ireland to beat England by less than 10
Scotland to beat Italy by less than 10

Ireland to beat Wales by less than 10
England to beat Scotland by 10 or more
France to beat Italy by 10 or more

France to beat England by 10 or more
Ireland to beat Scotland by 10 or more
Wales to beat Italy by 10 or more

Clearly I've erred on the side of pessimism as far as the seemingly revitalised Scotland are concerned - I always do that to ensure a no-lose situation! The trouble is I'm generally right to be pessimistic...

Horse, stable door, bolted?

noreply@blogger.com (James Kelly) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:55:11 PST

The Mirror is reporting that Channel 4 are reinstating the live feed for Big Brother next year. An understandable step given that the disappearance of the live feed has long been one of the bugbears of the programme's core fans, but it's slightly baffling they would bother to do it just weeks after cancelling the show for good due to poor ratings! However, I suspect that as with Mastermind, The Generation Game and The Krypton Factor, fashions will prove cyclical and Big Brother will turn up again in some shape or form one day.

Ian Hislop a Tory? It was ever thus.

noreply@blogger.com (James Kelly) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:15:27 PST

I've written elsewhere about how Mr Heaven (of Telegraph blogs fame) had been barking up completely the wrong tree by suggesting that Ian Hislop had undergone a Damascene conversion on Question Time the other week when he supposedly realised his anti-Tory jokes were falling flat. Well, I think Hislop's line of attack on Have I Got News for You this week proved my point beyond doubt - even Boris Johnson's 'Piffle Tower' is apparently beyond criticism, because "at least Boris is elected" (hint, hint). Now far be it from me to defend Gordon Brown, but I don't think Ian Hislop is the only one who needs a quick refresher course on how a parliamentary democracy is supposed to work...

The Executioner

noreply@blogger.com (James Kelly) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 20:13:24 PDT

The button wasn't nearly as red and shiny as her dad had promised, but Katie went ahead and pressed it all the same.

"Didn't you like that, Katie?" asked the man with the big furry microphone. "Why not?"

"B-because..." Katie stammered as she tried to remember her big words. "Because it was a quick death, and that was more than his victims had."

You can find e-book/audio versions of this story here.

Always There for You

noreply@blogger.com (James Kelly) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 20:12:29 PDT

Claire wept as she listened to the poignant paternal speech about her brother’s bride. With her gift for seeing straight into people’s hearts, how could she not have guessed about that poor girl’s condition? She squeezed her brother’s arm, thinking of all the ways she would help them both from that moment on.

“Not now, Claire,” he sighed. “This is our day. Ours.”

You can find e-book/audio versions of this story here.

The Second Stage of Grief

noreply@blogger.com (James Kelly) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 20:10:50 PDT

He was buff, the guy Amy had pencilled in for her holiday fling, but clueless at playing the game.

She finally lost her patience one night and pressed fast forward.

"What's the sodding problem? Never seen a girl naked before?"

He stretched for the most precise answer. "No. Not quite," he finally murmured, weeping soundlessly into Amy's hands.

You can find e-book/audio versions of this story here.