To the untrained eye, baseball, like all sports, appears to the layman observer as a group of men whirling a spherical “cowhide” object with the sole purpose of making contact, and running with no intended purpose whatsoever. On the other hand, what the astute observer sees is a strategic dance between pitcher and batter. As the pitcher hurls the ball, in milliseconds, the batter must decide to swing or let the ball pass on by. This dance plays out through a series of complex interactions of “give and takes” between two individuals, each trying to determine the opposition’s next move--moves which parallel and have lessons in the attraction process.
1. Pitchers and Batters are constantly making adjustment-- so must you.
Your “game” is a series of adjustments, constantly requiring change, and most often out in the field… in real time. Successful adjustments require discipline, preparation and more importantly practice. What we often see in the field, and I am no exception, is that we become comfortable in our pitching (attraction) approach. We fall into a pattern of launching a series of pitches that are ineffective simply because they have worked to attract or seduce women in the past. Often, our game plan has not been thought out properly and there’s an assumption that if one tactic worked on one batter (woman) then perhaps it will work with the subsequent batters. Some batters can manage the curveball; others have trouble with the slider, but if we are constantly throwing fastballs down the middle, we become predictable and offer up no challenge.
In essences, we’ve become a victim of our previous successes. Nothing ruins attraction more then boredom. Consistent re-adjustment prevents both boredom and falling into the dreaded friend’s zone.
In a world structured where relationship roles are defined as actor (Men-Pitchers) and reactor (Women-Batters) the only way to build attraction is to challenge the traditional dating paradigm. When a rookie pitcher faces a major league team for the first time, if he is able to keep his cool in the field and overcome his nervousness (in the dating field this is called approach anxiety), the rookie will often have the advantage. Why? The professional hitters (females) are expecting the same type of pitches thrown at them and often delivered with the same game plan. By constantly readjusting your seduction approach (pitches and pitching strategy) you present her with an air of novelty sparking initial attraction.
2. First inning matters just like first impressions matter.
Generally speaking, during the first inning one can determine if the game is going to be a pitchers duel or a slugfest. If the pitchers game is on point, he sets the tone for the rest of the game. Seduction is no different. Within the first 30 seconds your potential mate will pull from all the visual and verbal cues you’re sending to create an impression for the balance of the game/interaction. Some impressions are so impressive they remains for months and years on end, building a long-term expectation foundation for the relationship.
3. Sometimes it best to intentionally walk the batter
Intentionally walking a batter is a crucial strategy in baseball and, similar to a pitcher walking the “clean up hitter”, should be implemented in the attraction process. Despite what your libido might be signally, she might not be worth pursuing. More importantly, as with all seduction and long-term relationships, intentionally walking her is about timing. You might have your A game going but sometimes the opponent finds a way to get there hits and scores there runs. Letting her walk by, giving her the “base” or, dare I say, letting the competition win the girl over may be the best move.
4. Learn to have a “Closers” mentally
It’s inevitable. If you date enough two things will eventually happen:
A. There will be that ONE girl that inspires you to be better and settle down
B. You will go through a break-up
This one is key: when your instincts are telling you to make a move (i.e. go in for the kiss, ask for the phone number etc) like the closer, use your best pitch. Don't throw a curveball when your best pitch is a fastball! Any sign of weakness will give the batter the upper hand. Additionally, and just as important when trying to get over a break-up there’s no better mentally then that of the 9th inning game closers.
A closer, even the great ones, will blow a game or two through out the course of a season. What separates the closers from the starting pitchers is there ability to “forget about the past” and quickly, often the next game, take the ball again to close out a game. Closers don’t have the luxury to dwell on yesterday or feel sorry. If and when you go through a break-up, do as the ninth inning closers; learn the lesson in the break-up , use the lessons learned in the future and be quick to take the ball in hand again!
In summary: The traditional pitcher/batter relationship is often adversarial, each trying to gain the upper hand. It may seem unorthodox, rather unconventional, to equate such a tension filled relationship to one that is often view and depicted by traditional institutions as a blissful one (i.e. a traditional relationship between man and woman). But this is precisely the point. In order to stand out from the crowd you must be unconventional. Now, go out and PLAY BALL!
Survival Tip: Here’s an underling goal. Once you’ve developed attraction and assuming you want the relationship to grown into some more substantial; shift your thinking from Pitcher vs. Batter to Pitcher & Catcher. Unlike Pitcher vs. Batter, the relationship between pitcher and catcher is one of constant communication and teamwork; behavior often found in successful relationships.
Share The Water….
Steve Amarante
www.luvjungle.com
Picture credit: http://www.flickr.com/people/30472988@N00/