This MILFy British babe from the PunkGrl website is called Emma J, and she reminds me of, like… well, imagine if The OC’s Julie Cooper ran a badass biker bar or underground rock club. She’s got the same pouty lips, awesome high cheekbones, blunt-banged & long reddish-brown hair, and the body that only a personal trainer or lots of Cardio Barre could produce (okay, I’ll stop with all of The OC references, but damn, do I miss that show!) - except, just with… more tattoos… lots, lots more tattoos… and a hot, black latex corset. I’m too loyal to the Cooper/Cohen clans to ever say something like “Emma J is totally better and hotter than Julie Cooper”, but she’s definitely pretty fucking sexy. Good find, PunkGrl, as usual. May we please have some more?

Post from: Lux Alterna

The whole “Catholic schoolgirl gone bad” archetype has been used time and time again in porn, and yet somehow… I’m still not tired of it. So I, for one, am welcoming themed multi-girl website St. Mackenzie’s with arms wide open… it may not be the most original concept in the world, but that doesn’t matter at all when you’ve got the kind of girls that they do! Take, for example, the girl in this particular gallery - the punky, blue-haired British alt babe Teta Maria Stone. Her skirt could not be any shorter and it is definitely not regulation uniform, but with legs that long who could blame her for wanting her to show them off? It seems that St. Mackenzie’s headmistress (who is of course just as naughty as her students) agrees, as our girl still strips all her uniform off when she gets a chance and shows that the rest of her body is unbelievably sexy too!

Post from: Lux Alterna

I spy the beginning of a holiday tradition at Burning Angel… first Bella Vendetta fucks a pumpkin for Halloween, and now Joanna Angel is giving a jumbo-sized candy cane the same treatment… so you know what? I’m going to do exactly the same sort of description as I did last time, too: asking the guys at the NCN forums for the best horrible puns/observations they can make about these photos! So here we go…

[seven_] so she’s dp-ing herself with candy canes. thats classy

[Mento] maybe some kind of candy-ass quip

… Ummm, okay, well in keeping with our pattern, looks like we failed just as hard this time as we did with the last Burning Angel themed gallery! Don’t judge too hard… trying to be funny on demand tends to sort of cancel out any actual possibility of lol-worthy stuff, from my experience. I think we’ll have to end this attempt at a tradition here, but hopefully the girls at Burning Angel don’t, and keep serving up awesome holiday porno!

Post from: Lux Alterna

Pink hair and pigtails. Honestly, Nina Terror could probably look like a foot and I’d still love her, just because she rocks pink hair and pigtails… Okay, that’s a total exaggeration. I’m just trying to make a point, and here I am lying instead… um, I do truly, truly adore girls with bubblegum-colored tresses, even more so when said hair is up in pigtails, but I am shallow and prefer them to be hot and not foot-like. There. Sorry. Um, so, yeah… Nina Terror is actually so cute it sort of makes me want to die. Does that even make any sense? …I don’t know. This is pretty much the worst gallery description in the history of the universe, isn’t it? I apologize. Sort of. Because even though I’m writing total word vomit right now, I’m still showing you pictures of a really hot chick… so… there?

Post from: Lux Alterna

Okay, let’s make this quick and dirty - I just got Kenka Bancho: Badass Rumble for the PSP in the mail, and it’s calling my name… like, “Sarah, stop looking at hot stoner chicks taking off their clothes… you waaaaaaant to turn me on and run around Kyoto punching people and shooting laser beams from your eyes and kneeing people in the groin while dressed as a giant Banana…” …No, seriously, it’s totally saying that. Right now. And yes, those are all parts of that game. I’m not high, I swear. But Kayden 420 might be, given her name. Well, regardless, she’s pretty cute and she’s taking off her Jagermeister top (free bar swag rules, huh Kayden?) and showing off her nice body and awesome tattoos… oh yes, and those rather rocking tits of hers. Nice!

Post from: Lux Alterna

So I’m sort of left at a loss for words for this gallery… I mean, it’s Bella Vendetta fucking a pumpkin. What more can possibly be said here? Burning Angel has officially stumped me with this one. So I’ve shown a few of my friends this gallery, and so far the best relevant puns/witticisms we’ve been able to come up with are as follows: “Jack-Off-Lantern” and “I thought Halloween only came once a year” from Mento… and the sort of befuddling “I thought you had to take the top off before you could start scraping out the insides” attempt at innuendo from Sab. Okay, we all fail. Just look at the photos, and remember to visit Burning Angel for more pumpkin-fucking Halloween-themed alt porn!

Post from: Lux Alterna

Check out this pint-sized boxing babe - she’s so effing cute that I might die or something! Her name is Mya Fox, and she clocks in at only 5′3″, but she more than makes up for her tiny-ness with some serious badassitude. I mean, those boxing gloves may each be as big as her head, but she’s still pulling some tough faces like she’s gonna fuck you up… and yet, there’s still something so inherently adorable and feminine about her. Gah. Mya is so my type, I can’t even properly express it!

Post from: Lux Alterna

So, this Adahlia chick seems fun. Not only does she post a bunch of raunchy videos (she even does hardcore!) & naked photos of herself on the Burning Angel website, but she also writes/draws her own comics and… likes to play on top of taxis while stripping… in public. That’s my kind of girl, right there. Not to mention the scores of awesome tattoos and one of the biggest, juiciest bubble butts that I’ve seen on a white girl in… well, a long time. There are a bunch of people who leave comments on her pix & videos saying that they joined Burning Angel just to get access to her goodies in particular, and you know… I really can’t blame them, because if I wasn’t already a member, I’d probably be pretty tempted myself… Adahlia is just that hot!

Post from: Lux Alterna

Man, every single time I see Liz Vicious, I’m totally made speechless by how completely drop-dead gorgeous she is. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve looked at her photos and watched her videos at her website, there’s something about her that gets me every time. And as if it wasn’t enough that she’s so fucking stunning, the girl does awesome shit like get naked while playing PS2 or, as in these photos, strip down out of some sexy Batgirl cosplay. The next logical step is, of course, for her to do a photoshoot in this outfit while playing Batman: Arkham Asylum (which rules, by the way), right? Although, some Harley Quinn cosplay may be more appropriate for that game, since Batgirl is really only involved via radio, in her Oracle incarnation. Um, so I guess what I’m saying is, I wouldn’t mind seeing Liz Vicious dressed up as more superheroine/villainess types… while playing more video games? As long as she promises to take the costumes off for me, too!

Post from: Lux Alterna

Hmmmhmmmhmm. One of the girls in this Suicide Girls photoshoot, I’ve know since we were small enough to play “jungle” with a bunch of stuffed animals in trees. But I’m not telling which girl it is, because I’m feeling randomly ornery today. So there, I guess? Uh, anyhow, this photoshoot is way badass - around 70 photos of some of the hottest Suicide Girls re-enacting one of the many iconic scenes from Fight Club, only with an erotic twist - hot alterna chicks, topless and groping each other. I can only hope that this signals the beginning of a bunch of sexy movie parody shoots, because that would probably be the only thing that could make the Suicide Girls rule even harder than they already do, seriously.

Post from: Lux Alterna

Oh hai there ginormous boobs, how are you today? Seriously, here’s a hearty “holy fucking shit” @ the massive 34 freakin’ K tits on our lovely new solo girl Dors Feline. They’re just… so big. And they look all soft and squishy and like you just need to grab them. I don’t know whether to hate on Dors Feline for being look-but-can’t-touch (until someone invents, like Touch-O-Vision for the internet or something), or to be totally enamored with her for putting the goods on full display. I think I’m leaning more towards the latter, since those puppies are gorgeous. Wait, actually, to quote Miss J when she was discussing Toccarra way back when ANTM didn’t suck - “Those aren’t puppies, they’re full grown dogs!” - because, uh, yeah. Whoa. Just… whoa.

Post from: Lux Alterna

It’s only fitting that dark-cocoa skinned babe Apples is one of the Burning Angel girls, because she’s smoking hot! Sorry, I couldn’t help it… sometimes the puns hold me hostage unless I post them. I SWEAR. Anyhow, Apples is a mega-hot chick, who, according to her profile page at the Burning Angel site, enjoys sashimi, the Harry Potter series, IKEA, The Princess Bride, whips, and shower sex with skater boys. Sounds like my kind of girl! She’s already got 350+ photos up at the site, with (hopefully) plenty more on the way, and she’s also an active member of the BA community. So if you feel like getting to know this gorgeous black goddess… go stalk her there! What are you waiting for??

Post from: Lux Alterna

So today is April 20th - more commonly known as 4/20, the official holiday for all lovers of the Cannabis family of plant life. Did that sound classy enough? Anyhow, in celebration, here’s an amazing photoshoot from alterna/goth website Barely Evil that is porn in more ways than one: sure, the lusciously curvy and pale-skinned beauty called Superna is absolutely exquisite in every way (that hourglass figure of her inspired plenty of lust AND jealousy within me), but all the potheads out there will probably be just as fixated on her two heaping plates of weed. I’m sure that you can come up with about a billion different fantasies based on these pictures, so I’ll just leave y’all to it and wish you a happy 4/20!

Post from: Lux Alterna