LyF RocKs!!!!!!!!

Micro poetry 3

2013-04-02T12:35:00.001-07:00

Unki tasveer Dekhe to pareshani..
Na dekhe to bechaini..
Ajeeb hai ye ishq vishq yaaro..
Lutf zindagi ka chheen leta hai..
:D

Micro poetry 2

2013-04-01T09:53:00.001-07:00

I believed in love that's true..
Your eyes saw my troubles through..
For the moments spent with you..
Drove away any hint of the glum blue..

Micro Poetry 1

2013-03-28T11:23:00.001-07:00

Your eyes I seek as a comfort..
Your breathe takes away all hurt..
For in your arms I find my Oasis..
It gives life meaning..a basis.. :)

To My Sister..

2013-03-14T04:31:00.001-07:00

Dear Sis,
M writing to you for the first time in my life.. Have thought about it many times, but never actually sat down to do it..

I'm writing cuz I miss you..

I miss that first smile of yours that I couldn't see.. And the first steps of a younger sibling that would've filled my heart with pride..

I miss that first fight we would've had.. And that anger I would've felt on thinking mom-dad love you more than me..

I miss that stuff I would've taught you from whatever little I knew.. And the jokes we would've shared that only you n I would've "got"..

I miss the times I would've taken you to school with me.. And the days I would've been your" hero" and "saviour ".. no matter how small the" battle"..

I miss the dadagiri I would've done.. And the shower of unsolicited love that would make you go" awww" n me go "oh shut up you idiot" ;)

I miss the things we would've shared.. N fights for the things we didn't want to share!

To have that someone whom you can tell any and every thing.. And be the listening ear for their "things I can't tell ANYONE else"...

To have a beautiful forehead to kiss.. And to have someone who always looks at me for protection.. Inspiration.. And love...

To be that overprotective brother who'll break the legs of any guy who even looks at you.. And that same brother fighting the world to unite you with the one you truly love...

To have that sister to talk about my whole crazy day.. And listen to her" issues" without making a face (oh come on! THAT is your problem??)

And I miss that meaningless camaraderie that has so deep a meaning, that no one can measure it...

But you know what hurts me the most?

Not getting to see you even once in my life.. Not knowing you ever existed... Going through life feeling alone..

And suddenly one day *finding out*..

That you were still-born.

- Your Lonely Brother (who misses you a LOT)

Meri Pyari Beheniya Banegi Dulhaniya!

2013-01-16T04:39:00.003-08:00

So, as the title suggests, my sister is getting married..cousin sis, but really close to me like a sibling...

She get engaged in May, and the real feeling that she is getting married is sinking in NOW...

with all the madness going on around the family, and the crazy amounts of preparations being put into it, i decided to do my bit, by planning a surprise for her..

i got all the aunts together, and am choreographing a dance sequence...

oh, and it is FUN!

for starters, there are two aunts that CANNOT dance...even if their own, their spouses and kids' lives depended on it... :P

no seriously, they look like someone is gagging them into dancing...

and on the other end of the spectrum, one aunt can DANCE! she has the perfect expressions and steps simply awesome when she does them...

and you can tell how much of a technical dance it's going to be, with ME choreographing...i.e zilch..nada..null... :P

but still, it is fun to practice with them all, showing off whatever steps i think i know...it's like a marathi saying - "vaasrat langdi gaay"... ;)

and yes,i am also dancing...so god bless the stage....i hope they took me seriously when i requested that they re-enforce the stage :P

so now, fingers crossed for the D-day tomorrow :D

NjoY LyF! :D

kolkata!

2012-10-13T04:37:00.002-07:00

i want to visit kolkata some day..

i want to travel in those trams so old...
and sit in the ferry,which saw so many poets unfold...

to walk across the bridges alone...
find what i can, lost, of my own...

go on a fishing boat on one of their scavenges...
get out of my comfort, move around my mind's rusted hinges...

oh,to meet a poet! listen to Rabindra Sangeet...
a similar soul, equally lost as me, i want to meet...

sit in a beat-up old taxi yellow...
chat up the driver..hope he's a chatty fellow...

take part in durga puja if i can time it right...
oh,m sure, the city makes an exalted sight...

the city of poets...to see you,my mind takes flight..
one day..someday...i just might...! :D

-Inspired by my own visit to Kolkata, which wasn't a pleasant experience, and a friend's recent trip snaps, that made me want to go there once again...if any of you guys/gals from Kolkata are reading this, PLEASE invite me over...preferably in winters :P

NjoY LyF! :D

i'm an average guy!

2012-10-06T04:50:00.001-07:00

he doesn't go to extremes..

he's not the man of your dreams...

not saying that cuz he's self-deprecating..

just the truth it is, that i am repeating...

but let me tell you something about averages..

they stay with you longer than boys on stages...

the average guy won't have a million fans..

but he sure knows how to hold you..how to dance...

no, he isn't something from your dreams..something fantastic..

but he will be there when you're not well..or simply feel sick...

don't underestimate the average guy, for you never know..

he can make you happy with his average arrow..his average bow...

he won't get jealous..he won't make you so..

he has other average things that make him go...

the average guy..he's a useful chap..

not too strong, not too weak, but just makes the gap...

he is the one you want, if you want stability..

happiness, that is average..average his ability...

no one takes pride in being the average guy today..

so just wrote something, to spread what he'd to say..! :)

An Urban Guy's Letter

2012-10-05T01:05:00.002-07:00

So, i read this blog post and started thinking...

This mentality that she was writing about, is seen everywhere in India..it is a real nuisance, and i don't disagree with the thoughts.

But....

I don't know why those men, who are not a part of that "flock", are never mentioned!

There ARE men who are chivalrous. There ARE men who respect women. There ARE men, who don't start staring at girls in mini skirts/shorts/whatever it is you think attracts those kind of "looks".

Don't get me wrong, i have nothing against whatever you girls want to wear..or don't...for one, i roam around in shorts in the whole city (not that i am a pretty sight :P ).

Then comes the point of "judging" women by their beauty.
Welcome to the dating scene. I have been told on my face, by girls, that i am not good looking enough.

Forget being judged, can u imagine someone doing that to your face? Only if you've gone through it, will you understand what it feels like.

So did i feel objectified? Depressed? Angry?

No, i took it as immaturity on the girls' part, and let it be.

Now you'll go ahead and say - "it isn't just the dating scene, we girls are judged everywhere"...I don't think this isn't true for men too...it's just that it isn't as obvious as is with girls. And dare i say, girls are better at not being overt about it.

And well, aren't you the ones that get help the most too?!!

If a girl is involved in an accident, a huge crowd gathers to help them. I fell from my bike once, and you know how many people came to help me, in a crowded square? None.

Again, i am not gonna make the mistake of generalizing things, but all i want to say is, you get many benefits too! Take the yin with the yang!

Then comes the "respect for feelings".

I would say it is safe to say, that it goes both ways.
We are portrayed as these emotion-less, hunks of meat, who simply don't have any feelings whatsoever...

When we break-up with someone, we just move on to the next "target". We don't even care to turn back, and take a second look..we use girls like sexual objects...and the list goes on.

So again, am i like, some sort of anomaly?

Cuz when i broke up, i was sad. Depressed. I kept trying to find what went wrong. Not for days or weeks, but months!

We DO have feelings...we DO care...we DO change for you!

We might not be scared to get out of our houses, but some of us do have parents who get worried if we get late.

Our parents don't like it that we're dating someone or "getting some"...cuz after all, aren't our parents too, a part of this image-management system put up by "society"..?

Yes, there were times when we were considered the "Superior" sex..or the more powerful one, or whatever the crap it is that "society" believes in.

But in the end, it is the media (and to some extent, girls themselves, when they talk about it with a "feminist" bias) that is putting all of this in our brains...has been, for a long time...and will continue to do so...and you know why? Extremes matter..and rake in eyeballs.

Do you think a normal, peaceful shop-owner in Iraq would've made headlines? No, instead, this girl did. Because extremes "touch" the target audience..!

Emotion sells.

To conclude, i am not saying that what you wrote was entirely wrong...or that such men don't exist at all...all i want to say is, we are doing something wrong, if we portray only one part of the reality.

And that it is not the Whole Truth.

I'm just sitting here, hoping that we will really get an "equal and just" society. Someday.

-An Average Urban Guy.

torn between choices

2012-09-25T08:43:00.005-07:00

AG was an average guy, with average looks, and an average personality...he was the average of averages!

he had loved and lost in the past....given himself time to move on from that feeling...

CP was the typical happy-go-lucky girl...not bothered by the idiotic torments of people..and happy in her own unique way...

she had loved, and lost, and loved all over again...not seeking anything more than the present engagement of her mind and heart...

then they met through a common friend...and it was an unending conversation...that lasted long after the others had left...

numbers were exchanged and emails thrown back and forth....mobile bills were never this high...and their BlackBerries never so out of battery!

he kept thinking it was just good friendship....she kept hoping there could be more....

one day he asked her if she liked him...she said yes...but she's with someone else right now...

he felt heart-broken...but didn't have the courage to stop meeting her...she never stopped meeting him too...and this continued for a long time...

he had accepted her as belonging to someone else....being in the "friend-zone" as they put it....yet all he could think of, was meeting her when he was free...and meet her he did...spending numerous weekends at her place...talking...listening to her gossip and cribbing...and randomly spending time, just to be with her...

and then came along SB...an old crush of his....with whom he'd lost touch over time...as tends to happen usually today....never had he expected her to like him...much less ask him to get back to being "more than friends"...

both of them were at the "right age"....and both wanted to "settle down"....the knife had met the fork...and the dinner of life was set in front of them...

he started meeting SB...spending more time with her...being practical was the only way out for him...

eventually the meetings with CP reduced...she thought he got busy with work....he forgot her almost entirely...until one day she called him ... and told him she was really in love with him...and being away from him made her realize this...that she really did want to be with him...and she had left the guy she was dating...

life is such an irony, that CP had called the night before AG's wedding with SB.

torn.

he wished they were choices....
all he could hear were loud voices...

lost between the one he loved, and the one who loved him...
how could she just come back, on a whim...?

why can't i be practical again...what did that one phone call change?
confusion was never an option...how will my life i re-arrange...??

love, i blame you, for strewing my life on the road like this...
till i get the answer, happiness from it will surely be amiss...!

and to-date, AG is single, and happy.

- Based on a true story :)

Just Breathe

2012-08-06T02:33:00.000-07:00

i recently did an "Art of Living" course..after my parents did it and suggested me to do it too..

now, before you go all ballistic on me, and criticize me for being a herd-sheep, let me tell you, it was a very VERY nice experience...

it taught me some really nice things, and made me aware of myself...

and we were lucky to have attended the course conducted by a very able teacher, Mr.Hassan Tafti.

he is beyond doubt, a marvelous presenter and speaker...

and yesterday, a friend of mine came to me asking for advice on how to handle her inner self, and get this "chaos" sorted that resides in her...

so, SK came to me, and it came naturally to me, to tell her what to do, and how to do it...

for starters, the first step to changing yourself, is accepting that you need to change...accepting your own flaws, and identifying them...having a clear picture of what all it is, about yourself, that you feel needs to go...

for starters, the basic things taught in the AOL course, were -

1.accept people as they are.

2.Stop expecting.

3.Stop comparing.

now, accepting people might seem like an easy enough thing to do...but believe me, it is NOT.

and why isn't it easy?
one word - ego.

our ego comes in the way of our interactions, with people around us. our ego stops us from accepting people for what they are, as they are, unconditionally.

you try to change people. you try to make them think the way you do. you try to make them see your point of view...at times obsessively so....

but once you start accepting, then there is little scope for friction...there is very less about others that can affect you. there is little that can make you sad..or happy...

now you will think, why shouldn't i get happy if others make me so?

simple...because you become dependent on others' appreciation/approval....you become a "football" of people's opinions...and i don't think i need to elaborate why that is not recommended if you want your inner happiness and calm...

the second bit...

stop expecting.

the only person that you can expect from, is yourself. not your friends, not your peers, not even your family.

how this helps - you get one bit closer to not being a football...

it might seem odd, that you're becoming a football due to expectations, but give it a thought for a minute...

what happens when you expect?
either your expectations are met, or they aren't.

in the first scenario, you are happy because expectations were met, and indirectly, your happiness is with someone else...

in the second, it's pretty simple to see....your sadness lies in someone else's failure....

and isn't that stupid? like...if your son fails in an exam, you get sad...on some level, it might be acceptable to you to let this affect you...but isn't it wrong to let his sadness affect you? are you helping him in some way by doing that? is he going to suddenly clear the exam because you are sad? i think we know that answer. :)

thirdly, stop comparing.

let's begin with the definition of comparison, per se...

comparison is your ego trying to make someone/something look good, or bad....in other words, someone/something is either superior or inferior...

how does this affect you?

for starters, you compare everything/everyone with yourself...or your possessions...which should be immaterial to you...but you let it become a factor affecting you...

so how do we stop comparing?

simple - repeat the first step. acceptance. :)

if you accept people/things for what they are, as they are, the question of comparison doesn't arise in the first place!

your ego won't even know what hit it, and will be immaterial again! :)

now, don't get me wrong on the ego bit....ego, on the level of self-awareness, is a good thing. only when you let ego compare, does it become a problem...

these points sort of summarize the whole course...but summaries are not always good....i would suggest all of you to attend the course....experience it for yourself...and don't forget to thank me later... ;)

on another related point, i realised when SK asked me for advice, that one listens to advice only when one actively seeks it himself/herself....she said after our conversation, that her mom has been telling her the same things since a long time...but she never listened to it...or maybe she just couldn't accept those things...

i didn't say anything very different from what her mom used to say...or didn't give any "jaga-vegla gyaan", as we would say in marathi...

the only difference was, that she sought answers, when she spoke to me, and i happened to have the right ones....

try and seek answers....then you will crave problems, in order to test your ability to solve them... ;)

also, when faced with a problem, don't ask "why"...why me....why now....why not someone else...........but ask..."what can i do now"....

give this last one some thought....and let me know how you feel... :)

of morning walks and falls

2012-06-26T20:08:00.000-07:00

it's been three months now, that i have started my morning walk routine....but the last 2 weeks have been somewhat "accidental".. :O

so, i started going on looonnnggg walks in the morning, since i am a morning person, and had become as fat as an American..

ok, not so much...but maybe...ok ok fine! more than this! :/

and i love going on walks alone...me, the music, and open roads....

but last week, a dog decided to block my path on the one-off occasion that i decided to get into a jog. :|

i resembled Mr.Humpty the Dumpty, and had a nice big fall. :/

sprained my wrist, and hurt my palm....
oh! someone! give me Amrutanjan Balm!

aaaannnyyywaaayyyy.... this resulted in me not being able to type/write/eat with my right hand for 3 days :(

and today again! i had a big fall...this time, however, there was a twist to it...

i was walking along...minding my own business...climbing down the "hanuman tekdi"...when i saw a group of girls climbing up the hill...it was raining before, so the hill stones were a bit slippery...i was being extra careful and watching my step...

when this group of girls came near me, i stepped aside, to let them pass...but being teens, they were busy jumping and hopping around..

and the inevitable happened >>

and this one girl, fell ON ME. :/

now, normally i would take a girl falling for/on/around me / in love with me / falling over me...etc...as a good thing...

(what? it DOES happen ok! girls DO fall FOR me....ok a few have...ok FINE 1 girl fell for me....ok FINE FINE FINE! fell for my online avatar which is a beefy hunk 6 ft tall and highly charismatic etc)

but this time, she fell on me, and i fell down on my tush. my sweet soft tush! :(

aaannnnddd i feared the worst...

you see, teens have a thing against me...it's a plot really...believe me i know you guys do it on purpose!

what plot you ask?

they call me UNCLE. X(

i mean seriously! i have a mustache and the occasional beard is also kept...but by no angle do i look like anyone's UNCLE. :|

So i closed my eyes, and waited for the worse to come..

i feared those words...

i anticipated another moment of agony...

i could already hear it in my head...

shortly i couldn't take it any longer and opened my ears to hear what i did not want to hear...

What would she call me? she would definitely call me Uncle. or Bhaiyya at best. god dammit why was i not careful...why did i not move farther from that group of girls...

as all these questions ran in my mind...

i heard the sweetest voice say...

"dude! i am so sorry! are you ok? sorry man!"

DUDE!

MAN!

i am no longer an uncle! :D

girls actually think i am a "dude"!!

i suddenly felt handsome! i felt hot! i felt attractive! i felt...i felt...i felt...ecstatic! :D

of course , the happiness was short-lived, when she called her girl-friends "dude" too. :|

so apparently everyone is a dude. :/

everyone is a camel penis. :/

(check out webster's definition of "dude")

but at least for now, i shall assume that she called me dude for the sheer dude-ness dripping off of me...

for the rugged handsomeness that embodies my persona...

the inexplicable attraction she felt towards me...

etc...etc...

enough self-bloating eh? :D :P

and now here i am, nursing a smarting tush...that refuses to join the rest of my body in celebration of dude-ness... :/

until next time...

ciao bloggerz! :D

The Traveler

2012-03-04T06:28:00.001-08:00

Well, i have been travelling through time a LOT.

yeah, not the literal time travel...just in my head...and not just into the past...but into the future too...

and they both have a similarity...

both provide you different versions of events, if you change one small, but significant variable...and most of the times it is the timing of those events itself... :)

some past events have taught me something...and a few have been wasted...a few i shall cherish forever..and a few i have already begun to wipe...

the versions of tomorrow, though , are what i have been visiting oft repeatedly...

and you know what? surprise! surprise! i hate uncertainty :-/

who doesn't?

ok, there might be a few of you who will go, NO! i love spontaneity! i love being in the moment! i don't want to know for certain what i am gonna do tomorrow!

i am not talking about tmrw, literally, you dumbass! i am talking about the nearby..and not so nearby, future...

like the kind of lifestyle...the kind of life...and the kind of mannerisms i want...

for one thing, i am CRAVING for simplicity...somewhat akin to an obsession... I mean, i have HAD IT with complicated life...i do NOT want to be doing one hundred million things at a time! (in this context, anything more than 3 = one hundred million)

and even those 3 things that i AM doing, need not be done simultaneously...it should flow independent of each other, and not interweaving...that simply makes life worth horse shit. after he has cannibalized. Yes. :|

i don't want a bazillion friends...i don't want to go to a party every weekend...i want to enjoy life...one moment at a time...

yeah, so basically, i wanna plan what i am gonna do tmrw, so i can live in today.

seems legit! :P

but yeah, enough of the rambling :P

toodle-do :P

Why "Players" SHOULD be Good...

2011-12-15T19:03:00.000-08:00

Going through college in the 2000's, my group of friends had a fascination with brilliant cinema...(amongst other things)

We were also in an age where we were trying to find meaning..a direction...our calling....whatever the fuck you can call it...we were basically just looking around like a pack of bewildered buffaloes..or bulls for that matter... :P

What the Italian Job showed us, had us spell bound for quite some time...the story line...the perfect execution of the actual Italian Job...the heist carried out in Venice..how the Safe is actually in the water, while police think that it is being carried off in another boat...which also, manages to give the cops a slip..!!
And also the next job , that is the second one, carried out in Hollywood, nonetheless,,,beauties of plots and even better executed by the director.... :D

The Italian Job was solely responsible for starting a frenzy in my peer group, to find as many "theft" related movies...as possible...and led to a fantastic collection of more than 150 such movies in my possession...and, NONE even comes close to this beauty of a movie!

So it was an obvious choice for our "original" and "novel" directors in bollywood...like the great Mr. Abbas and Mr. Mustan, known for their "inspired" movies like
Humraaz (Dial M for Murder - Alfred Hitchcock) ,
Ajnabee (Consenting Adults - Alan J.Pakula) ,
Race [ (Goodbye Lover - Roland Joffe) (Race Saanson Ki - Tarkan) (Pehli Nazar Me - Sarang Hae 'yo) ]

So...you get the idea...they aren't really good at thinking up original ideas...or finding artists who can make their own music...but they ARE good at taking an original, adding some spice to it..and then making it into a typical bollywood crowd-pleaser...

So why should "Players" be good?

Because the original made by F.Gary Gray is SO DAMN GOOD!
(Also, he has won the award for the most confusing first and last name combination, 10 yrs in a row)
(Seriously....didn't you read it as GRAY GRAY or GARY GARY, at first sight? :P )

But wait...it IS the original, right?

Errr..No. :|

The ORIGINAL original, was made in 1969, by Peter Collinson, a Britisher. Which was as interesting as looking at fire on a hot, 40 deg.Celc. , Indian summer day. And as big a hit as Ram Gopal Verma's Aag ( which, incidentally, IMDB lists as Ram Gopal Varma's Indian Flames. INDIAN FLAMES??? what the FAACCKK is that?? :P flames born out of spicy Indian Food?? ;) :P )

So, for me, the 2003 movie, was the bigger hit of all the two.

So Players, should be good..

i say "should" , because we have witnessed some big flops, that were copied from huge hits...[See - Ram Gopal Varma's AAG (Copied From "SHOLAY", nonetheless)....on second thoughts, spare yourself...DON'T SEE IT!! :P ]

So we are waiting for what you come up with, Mr.Abbas and Mr.Mustan Burmawalla...!!!

hmmm...i ended up writing something other than what the title says here, didn't i...

gaahh....screw you guys! :P

my blog! my shit! :P :P

NjoY LyF Bloggers!! :D

As i Mature...

2011-11-09T05:09:00.000-08:00

As i mature...I've learned that you can't make someone love you.

All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. :P

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. X-(

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. :O

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that you better have a big willy or huge boobs. ;)

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others.

They are more screwed up than you think...

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities. ;)

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take it's place. :P

I've learned that 99 of the time, when something isn't working in your house, one of the kids did it. :D

I've learned that the people you care most about in life, are taken from you too soon, and all the less important ones just never go away.. :(

On the Confusing Side of 25..

2011-10-31T04:49:00.000-07:00

‎23-25 is not a nice age for a man....

your ex-gfs are getting married ,

Your career has just started,

Elders treat you as unproven theorems,

College guys feel that you are too old to have in their group...

You seem to enjoy both cartoons and the news.

You can no longer eat whatever you wish without putting on weight.

You look like an ape if you don’t shave daily.

You are not invited for weekend cricket matches .

Every Aunty you meet asks “Shaadi kab kar rahe ho beta!!”

while uncle asks “Career ka kya socha hai beta…”..

When the reality is that you are just riding the wave and going with the flow…

You have all the confidence in the world but little achievements to show,

You already have the first hand experience of life ,

You know that whatever you have been taught about the world in schools has been sheer

waste of time.

You can be denied a job even after passing the test and you could be given a job if you

know someone placed high enough…

Politics till now was a dirty word but now you feel it everywhere.

You know now love is not that blind and that friendship has its terms and conditions. .

You know there is nothing for granted and free lunches are not free…

Your overconfidence is now making way for....

a humble conscience! :)

Tree-ally bad :(

2011-10-22T00:06:00.000-07:00

The beautiful rubber tree...
from my balcony i always used to see...

in rains it looked like a majestic umbrella...
in the suns it used to provide shade like a good fella... :D

many a rainy days and evenings i spent...
looking at the raindrops fall off it's shoulders magnificent...

and it hid from prying neighbors...the door to my room...
now privacy has taken a sudden fall...and gone to it's doom..!! :O

for my beautiful green friend has been felled by the corporation...
no end i can see to my grieving...this empty sensation..!!

my friend was cut down...oh how he bled white blood...
tears came non stop...it was like a flood..!! :(

oh dear rubber tree...we won't forget thee...
in our minds and photos u will live for...eternity..!! :)

- dedicated to a rubber tree just outside my room balcony...which was felled today... :)

How to Ride a Bike in Pune - 01

2011-09-28T22:55:00.000-07:00

Pune is notorious for it's "scarce" traffic...and the "wonderful" driving sense of it's citizens...and like any other almost-metro city, it retains the image very well.

So here are some pointers on how to drive / ride in the city...and live to tell about it! :P

1. Have a kickass bike..

Ok. Really? This is what u got? :|

more like >>>>

yeah! Now you are talking!

2. Don't give a SHIT about other people on the road.

Act as if u own the road. And the footpath. And the dividers too. :P

3. Curse at least once every 4 minutes at a random rider/ driver...asking them if they think the road belongs to their father (s) :P

4. Get training in cross-country riding...it is a MUST , since u r driving on potholes, with some patches of roads in between....

5. Grow a kick-ass beard and have a constant angry look on your face. Somewhat like this >>

6. If any one cuts your path wrongly, give people the "rock" look...

Ok u might not have d muscles...but yeah...

7. now u will ask what bout d gals?

well my dear female readers...you have been granted unlimited power to accelerate / brake / turn / ram into other vehicles...as per your fancy. we have officially declared female drivers / riders in pune a "chalta-firta" accident zone. :P

since u have gotten the idea from the title, this is the first part of many in this series...

ur contributions on the topic of discussion are welcome ;)

NjoY LyF guys! :D

Mere Brother Ki Dulhan Review

2011-09-10T19:28:00.000-07:00

Mere Bro ki Dulhan...MBKD for future reference :P

so MBKD is a romantic comedy...and as the title suggests, it is obviously bout an elder brother (who is called, for some reason, "Bhai-sahab" by the younger sibling) making his brother find him a bride...

on the whole, it has got rib tickling comedy...the father of the groom...and his Colonel-istic escapades are fun...

for a change, Katrina has managed to act in 2-3 scenes!

but well, she still dances like a man...and pls, would someone PLEASE train her in the rock-chick ways? she slings the guitar on her shoulder as if it is a teenager's college jhola! and she cannot AT ALL, carry off the rocker chick look....i don't understand why she is so manly! :P

Imran has shown that he takes lessons from mamu-amir-jaan... his acting started improving since break k baad...and even in this movie he has managed to pull off some really good scenes....

on the whole, i would give the movie - 3/5.

oh and i do NOT know what it is with me, and supporting actresses!

now i am liking this gal, Tara D'souza, who plays the role of Bhai Sahab's love interest...Piyali... <3 <3

not only has she looked better, but in my humble opinion, she has also acted much better than our lead, Ms.Kaif :P

muah muah to hawt supporting actresses ;) ;)

until next time...

NjoY LyF Bloggers!!

Idiotic Writer

2011-09-08T09:52:00.000-07:00

i write for my own...
and i like talking on the phone..!!

writing comes naturally to me...like breathing...
having a tel malish champi is so soothing..!!

writers tend to be weird thinkers they say...
my gym instructors always tried to sell me protein whey..!!

writer's block...i will kill you one day...
ooh...is that a cadbury dairy milk in that tray? :D

NjoY LyF Bloggers! :D

Bodyguard Review

2011-09-08T00:37:00.000-07:00

So, finally sat down to write the review for the movie...

Reasons for the delayed review are many...

for starters, i wanted to wait till it flopped completely :P

ok...ok...it isnt a compete flop...as per revenue figures, as i write this post, it has crossed the 100 Cr sales mark...

but mark my words...it isnt due to the content of the movie...but purely due to the marketing gurus behind the movie...Reliance Entertainment... :)

well, for the main review...

bodyguard is the typical run-of-the-mill Salman Khan starrer....which has the routine mix of music,,,item song,,,and comedy....intermixed with the action and drama...

nothing new here, right?

what was dabbang then?

same genre...

it did not have anything new in the creativity dept...

poor guy falls in love with rich girl...she doesnt want him to be hurt...so breaks his heart...poor boy is also stupid boy...who falls in love over d phone...

i mean...

i would check a zillion times, before i met anyone that i have only spoken to on the phone....fall in love? NO WAY!

but who is to question bollywood principles? :P

stupid storyline...even more stupid climax...

ppl just want a happy happy story...in this case...it was a BORING one! :P

no story line...no logic....no brain to be used, whatsoever! the director expects viewers to have the brains of a 2.5 yr old....or less...

yet it worked...

why?

well, for starters, reliance ensured that the movie was on EVERY SCREEN for EVERY SHOW....

i mean, if u read the movie listings during the first week of it's release, you would understand...it was literally running in all theatres in the city...Pune, i.e...dunno outside....but m guessing it was d same scene all over...

and knowing Salman's reputation, it was bound to be jam packed...

a few people made some failed attempts to warn viewers....giving out true and fair reviews...that it is a complete bullshit movie...

but Reliance knew better....they knew how to create a horrendously crazy hype for the movie...

plus given the fact that all prior movies of Salman released on Eid have been super blockbusters...

ppl made a blind beeline to get tickets....no one even bothered to read reviews...as if people DO read... :P
normally ppl go to movies based on hype and cast fame....and prior experiences....

and the result? 99.5 crores collection in the first week!

well, they laughed their way to the bank for sure...

but one thing is for sure...

next time, they wont go based on stupid hype...

audiences (i hope) will be more cautious in the future...

rating for the movie?
1.5 out of 5.

yes. :P

oh and yeah...canNOT forget this bit...

the only thing i liked in the movie....

is this chica...rather i LoVeD her... *blush blush*

for the un-initiated...she is Hazel Keech....aapki honewali bhabhi! yes! i love her! (errr...ok ok...relax :P )

NjoY LyF Bloggers! :D

Because We Are Men (2)

2011-08-31T19:09:00.000-07:00

this is in continuation to this post...

16. Why do men hate shopping?

It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want to go out, kill it, and bring it back. Who wants to spend hours and hours to look at things we have no intention of killing? err... Buying?

17. Why can't men ever leave the toilet seat down?

Have you ever seen one of us pee? The proper position of the toilet seat is up. Mathematically speaking, the proper position of the toilet seat is a function of the time spent peeing over the time spent sitting. The closer that ratio approaches one, the truer the proposition. Besides, it's actually a courtesy that we lift the seat. Why would we care if we pee all over the seat. You're the ones that have to sit on it. You should appreciate the fact that we actually lift the darn thing. We aim to please.

18. Why do men find blonde bimbos attractive?

Are you kidding? Even leaving the physical aside, blonde bimbos are generally much easier to get along (alone) with. They like having fun and doing exciting things. They don't walk around with the weight of the world on their shoulders. They don't ever give us a hard time for being a dumb male; and plus they laugh at most of our jokes (even the ones they don't get). What more could any of us males ask for?

19. Why do men act like they own the remote control?

What do you mean act? We do; possession is nine tenths of ownership by law. Besides, it is an awesome responsibility not to be entrusted to just anyone. I believe the only fair way to decide who gets the remote control is to arm wrestle for it...

20. Why can't men stay on a single channel for more than two seconds?

Are you kidding? What if there is something good on the next channel? We could miss it if we stay on one channel for too long. (See also: Why do men fear commitment?)

21. Why do men fear commitment?

Don't be so surprised. Yes; most of us do know what 'commitment' means and can spell it correctly. It's like an automobile. No matter how good you think this year's model is, they're always coming out with newer, faster, better, sleeker, and sexier models. We simply cannot be expected to purchase the first one we see. We must browse around a bit and test drive a few. Who wants to end up with a lemon? At least with a car, there's a slight chance of it eventually becoming a classic. It simply makes much more sense to lease and upgrade to the younger...err... I mean newer models every couple of years. Some of them come with fun extras like dual air bags. :P

22. What does it mean when men say, "I'm just not ready for a relationship right now" or "I don't want a girlfriend?"

It means that we like you enough to sleep with you, but not enough so that we want to see you repeatedly... O_o

23. What does it mean when men say, "Can we just be friends?"

Generally, it means that the recipient of said comment is physically repulsive enough that no beer goggles may be thick enough to provide adequate protection. o.O

24. Do all men really masturbate?

Yes. It is genetically inherited behavior. It's been passed on from our most primal forefathers, and it'll be passed on to our sons..!

25. Why do men generally have greater upper body strength?

Several factors are at work, namely evolution, heredity, nutrition, and environment. (See also: Do all men really masturbate?)

26. Why do men generally have better hand-eye or spatial coordinate motor coordination?

It is like with all things. Practice... Practice... Practice... (See also: Do all men really masturbate?)

27. Why are men so obsessed with beautiful women?

As opposed to what? Really ugly women? Face it, if men were obsessed with ugly women, there would be just as much bitching about why men are so obsessed with ugly women! No matter how you set this up, some people are always going to be left out. I don't see anyone screaming about equal treatment for the stupid people either.

28. Why do men like younger women?

Well, let's see. Besides the fact that they like older men, they're easily impressed. They're also perky, energetic, and come with very little baggage. And gravity has less prevail over their bodies....

29. Why do men only have one thing on their minds?

While technically correct, this statement is not strictly true. We may only be able to entertain one idea at a time, but we do think of lots of other things besides sex, such as sports and beer. We also get hungry quite often.

30. How can men possibly find that other woman attractive (i.e., "Whatever do you see in that fat pig?")?

Even if you happen to be Cindy Crawford, once we get the idea that you are ours, other women suddenly become much more attractive and you lose a few attractiveness points. I'm a bit puzzled by this one myself. I think evolution is to blame. We men are just innocent bystanders in the war of the selfish genes. You should love us despite our inherent weakness.

annnndddd....we can go on forever....but do post me ur relevant questions (for men) and emails saying how you hate me (for women)....

until next time.... ;)

NjoY LyF Bloggers!! :D

Because We Are Men!

2011-08-31T18:49:00.000-07:00

well, the female readership on my blog has been requesting my take on why "Men Will Be Men"...

(no...NO....do NOT ask how many females read this blog....cuz there are millions! ok ok...thousands! fine...FINE! tens of women.....no? ok ok ALRIGHT! just one reader...my mom...and she cant read much english either....she only reads d marathi poems....happy? :| )

and co-incidentally, i found a really nice article that puts it just the way i feel....
(source: here)

so here it goes...

1. Why are men such jerks?

It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing, we men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life span of a male is typically 10 years shorter (and it's not just from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure)? Hormone modifies behavior. We're just misunderstood.

2. Why do men always have to ogle at other women?

Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that all the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met you? Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better at not getting caught. I'm fairly certain it's some sort of photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorize it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, we try to burn it into our memory by staring as much as we can..!

3. Why do men always touch themselves, especially in public?

We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and make him happy. It's much like adjusting your bra.

4. Why do men always say such stupid things?

We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see our partner frustrated by a few simple (and well chosen) words.

5. Why are men so uncommunicative?

You'd learn to keep your big mouth shut too, if every time you open it you get into trouble with your partner.

6. Why do men have to act like such retards?

Well, we don't actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it. It's the old fashioned pride in a job well done that's missing in so much of the world nowadays...

7. Why can't men just share their feelings?

Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that men and women are different? How are we supposed to share how we feel when we have no idea how we feel? Unless we're experiencing some extreme emotion like rage, hatred disgust, or a brick on our foot, we have no idea how we feel! Personally, I get a headache whenever I try to figure out how I feel.

8. Why can't men cuddle more (i.e., lie down and hug)?

Please... How many hours do you think there is in a day? We oblige you as much as we can, but who the heck (besides women) can stand lying around for hours on end? We men... Men hunters...Need go roam...Starve in cave... Must go find wildebeest... Now sitting on our asses for hours on end on the other hand is a whole other story.

9. How can men sit on their asses all day without moving?

Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles developed by evolution that enable us to sit for extended periods of time without getting tired. In prehistoric times, it was often necessary to sit in one spot for extended periods of time while hunting for prey. The more successful hunters were able to sit very still for very extended periods of time thereby passing on this ability to their progeny. The fidgety types were all gobbled up by saber toothed tigers etc. The end result is that almost all modern men are born with this innate ability.

10. Why can't men just say "I love you?"

Men are taught from a tender young age to be self-sufficient. To say that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you. Most men consider that a character fault. It's not easy to admit to one's own character faults.

11. Why do men say "I love you" when they hardly know me?

Ho, Ho, Ho... Aren't you special? Well, some men think it's a sure fire way to get into your pants. Surprisingly, it actually still works quite well.

12. What does it mean when men say "I Love You?"

1. Please sleep with me.

2. I'm sorry for whatever it is that I did.

3. I forgot to get you a gift; this will have to do.

4. Huh? I'm sorry; I wasn't listening.

5. What did I forget? This should buy me a little time.

6. Stop nagging me.

7. What do I have to do to get a beer around here?

13. Why doesn't my partner ever answer me?

We just simply don't have the energy to answer every single one of your questions. If we think we do not have the answer, or that you will not like the answer, we simply remain quiet and save the energy for other things.

14. Why won't men ever pick up after themselves?

Why should we? It doesn't really bother us that much. Besides, we know darn well you'll pick it up. :P

15. What's with all the belching and farting?

This usually only occurs after months of courting. It's our way to let you know that we're comfortable with you. Believe it or not, it's actually a sign of affection. Besides, holding it for extended periods of time gives us stomach cramps.

....contd here.....

alone..

2011-08-21T03:00:00.000-07:00

i like sitting alone in a crowded place...

makes me feel like being a part of something...

many unknown faces....and a few familiar i can trace...

sad, happy, confused, and a few faces loathing...

they wonder whether in loneliness i seek solace...

but what they don't know...is that inside me..there's nothing...

i sit alone in a crowded cafe many times...

enjoying the bliss of being able to breath...just being alive....

there are no dreams to compete...no need to compose beautiful rhymes...

no need to dance....not salsa...chacha...or jive...

i take each moment with a generous sprinkling of limes...

as everyone around me hurries like in a bee hive...

i like being with myself more than anyone else...

for i don't need to pretend...or change to become what someone else expects...

i stand alone, casting on passers-by wonderful spells...

trying to be that someone that everyone likes and respects...

in reality i am just taking in the sights, sounds and smells...

hoping i am not the geeky kid that everyone rejects...

i paint a picture with my brush that has really worn off...

i try and make it beautiful for those around me...

the worst thing is, that i am really afraid they will scoff...

make fun of my picture and try to change it to what they want to see...

and yet i keep trying...to fill this empty trough...

oh will you buy my picture...help me to be myself...set me free...?

i like sitting alone in a crowded place...

makes me feel like being a part of something...

i sit alone in a crowded cafe many times...

enjoying the bliss of being alive...just being alive....

i like being with myself more than anyone else...

for i don't need to pretend...or change to become what someone else expects...

i paint a picture with my brush that has really worn off...

i try and make it beautiful for those around me.................

NjoY LyF BloggerZ :)

Chaddi Jaisa Rang hai Tera...

2011-08-18T07:26:00.000-07:00

Chaddi jaisa rang hai tera, naade jaise baal..
Ek tuhi bakwas hai gori, baaki sub hai maal... :D


Chaddi jaisa rang hai tera, naade jaise baal...

Ek tuhi bakwas hai gori, baaki sub hai maal...

Ek tuhi bakwas hai gori, baaki sub hai maal...


Jis raste se tu gujre, voh cactus se bhar jaye
Jis galli se tu gujre, voh choohon se bhar jaye
Tere pair ki bhayanak aahat sote bhoot jagaye
Jo patthar choo le gori tu voh koyla ban jaye!!


Tu jisko mil jaye voh, tu jisko mil jaye
Vo ho jaye transfer to bengal.... (dont get me wrong...Bengal is a good place...really...VERY clean... :P TeeHee)
Ek tuhi bekaar hai gori, baaki sub hai kamaal
Kachhe jaisa rang hai tera, friendship band jaise baal..!! (what? it can be ok! )
Ek tuhi pehelvaan hai gori, baaki sub size zero maal!! :P

Jo be-rang ho us par kya kya rang jamate log
Jo be-rang ho us par kya kya rang jamate log
Tu idiot na jane tera mazaak udate hai hum log!! :P


Chehra bhar bhar thookein tujhpe aate jaate log
Chail chabeeli rani thoda, Chail chabeeli rani thoda
pocket se rumal nikaal....


Ek tuhi pehelvaan hai gori, baaki sub size zero maal!!

Toilet jaisa rang hai tera, noodles jaise baal!!
Ek tuhi maruti van hai gori, baaki sub BMW, Audi, Merc and all....

Dhanak ghata kaliyan aur taare, sub hain darte khoob
Dhanak ghata kaliyan aur taare, sub hain darte khoob

Ghazalen hon ya geet hon mere sub mein tera Bhoot!!


Yunhi chamakti rahe hamesha mere room ki light...andhera ho ya dhoop
Kyonki Dar lagta hai...

Kyonki Dar lagta hai...

Kahise tu aa na jaae chudail.....

Ek tuhi bakwas hai gori, baaki sub hai maal...

Chaddi jaisa rang hai tera, naade jaise baal..

Ek tuhi pehelvaan hai gori, baaki sub size zero maal!!

Toilet jaisa rang hai tera, noodles jaise baal!!

Ek tuhi bakwas hai gori, baaki sub hai maal...

Ek tuhi pehelvaan hai gori, baaki sub size zero maal!!

Ek tuhi maruti van hai gori, baaki sub BMW, Audi, Merc and all....

Wah Wah!

(yes, there is still a restraining order on those of you trying to find me to murder me. :|

art ki koi kadar hi nahi!)

aye! tomato kisne maara?

ooh...tomato soup!

ek-do ande bhi maar do yaaro....omlette se pet bhar loonga :D

;)

Njoy LyF BloggerZZ :D

Kehte hai..

2011-08-09T06:58:00.001-07:00

Kehte hai k pahado k paar hai ik chhotasa gaanv..
Jaha havaen hai thodi zyada madmast..

Hai waha ek sapno ka jahaan..
Jo sab hai dhoondte khwabo me jhoomte mast..

Kehte hai saare jawab yaha likhe hai..
Gilo shikwo ka nahi hai pata..

Jo yaha ek baar aa jaae wo ho jata hai yahi ka..
Chaahe jitni koshish karo..wapis wo nahi jaata..

Kehte hai k sapno ka Ye jahan har kisi ko nahi hota haasil..
Yaha aane k lie hai sab hi bekaraar..

Bus koi mujhe paar kara de ye pathrile pahad..
Bus pohoch pau sapno k jahan me ik baar..

Kehte hai k pahado k paar hai ik chhotasa gaanv..
Jaha havaen hai thodi zyada madmast..

Hai waha ek sapno ka jahaan..
Jo sab hai dhoondte khwabo me jhoomte mast..

;)

NjoY LyF bloggers :)