They would love to have one of those makeover shows show up at their house with a film crew and be told they’re getting a whole new wardrobe.

Surprises feel thrilling to them. Like the thrill some people get when a roller coaster ride you thought was over suddenly takes off again and starts doing upside down loops. They throw their hands in the air and embrace the thrill of the unknown.

They call that fun.

I don’t.

I love a good birthday party. But I don’t want it to be a surprise.

I love a good vacation. But I don’t want it to be planned for me.

I love winning stuff and would freely accept a gift certificate for a new wardrobe. But I don’t want all the clothes to be picked out for me.

I like (not love) a roller coaster. I don’t mind when it finally crests the lift hill and then careens downward like the bottom just fell out of the world. But I don’t want it to take unexpected twists and turns.

This dislike of surprises can usually be managed with all the things I mentioned.

My friends know not to throw me a surprise party. No one is looking to give me a surprise vacation or new wardrobe. And before getting on a roller coaster, I thoroughly check it out and know its patterned route.

But life is different.

Life twists and turns and throws loops into those places we think will be flat and smooth. Because that’s what life does. Sometimes it all just catches us off guard.

And at the end of the day, I guess that’s why I don’t like to be surprised. I can’t stand to get caught off guard. It makes me feel exposed and afraid.

But slowly, I’m learning it’s not all bad to be a little exposed and afraid.

That vulnerable place reminds us we have needs beyond what we manage. It reminds us we need God. Desperately. Completely.

And into that gap between what we can manage on our own and what we can’t, that’s right where faith steps in and has the opportunity to find deep roots. Roots that dig down and break up previously unearthed places within us.

My faith doesn’t just need to grow big, it needs to grow deep. Yes, I need deep faith roots.

Deep roots anchor us when surprises blow like strong unruly winds.

Deep roots hold us steady during the next storm that didn’t show up on the radar.

Deep roots find nourishment when the surface gets awfully dry.

Deep roots allow for growth not previously possible.

Deep roots yield rich fruit.

So, I’m learning to not be so afraid of what might be around the next corner. Even if it does catch me off guard. I close my eyes and whisper… “deeper still.”

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit,” (Jeremiah 17: 7-8 ESV).

The staff at Proverbs 31 Ministries will be taking time this Memorial weekend to pray for the families in Oklahoma who were impacted by the recent tornado. In the comments below, feel free to leave your prayer request for our team; or you can share your prayer for these families.

Related posts:

1. Easter, Might You Linger A Bit Longer?
2. An Interview With Jud Wilhite
3. Am I Courageous Enough For A New View?

Elevation Church is home to me. And since it’s home, I always feel incredibly honored to speak there. And incredibly nervous. There is just a different kind of weight I feel in my heart when speaking at home. I can’t really explain it.

But here’s what I know for sure. God speaks most clearly to our situation when we feel desperation.

Desperation causes me to press into God in a deeper, more urgent kind of way. Probably the way I should pursue Him every day. But many of my every days don’t find me desperate.

Sadly, I get quite comfortable at times. And I can be forgetful about just how much I need God.

But writing this message definitely reminded me. I found myself in some hard spots leading up to Mother’s Day this year. Really hard. And I finally realized the person that would need this message most in the whole world was me.

Me. The girl that was supposed to walk up on that stage when all I really wanted to do was crawl back in bed.

But God has surrounded me with wise people. People I called. People who let me stand on their wisdom when I didn’t feel I could stand on my own. People who wouldn’t let me let Satan win.

Thank you to those people. You know who you are. And I pray you know how much I love you with every fiber of my shaky little heart.

So, with all that being said… here’s my message. The one I wrote. The one I delivered at my home church on Mother’s Day 2013. The message that the messenger needed most of all.

Click here to watch my message.

Related posts:

1. Will You Join Me?
2. The Rip Current of People-Pleasing
3. My Ear – A Path of Perseverance

And it’s not just helping me in my ministry leadership role.

The leadership lessons I’m learning are helping me in every role. Because honestly, most of us have influence in some sphere of our life. When we influence, we lead. And when we lead, we have a great responsibility to grow.

We can’t lead others further than where we’ve grown ourselves.

Stunt our growth, and we stunt our leadership.

So, I’m setting aside intentional time to learn and grow as a leader.

One of my favorite leaders to study in the Bible is Paul. Yesterday, I was reading the letters Paul wrote to a young man he was leading named Timothy. And I came across a section in 2 Timothy chapter two entitled, “A workman approved by God.”

I thought, this is going to be a great leadership section! Whatever Paul is about to write here is going to be pure gold. I want to know how Paul defined a workman approved by God.

Paul could have focused on many things for this section. If I was writing this section of the Bible, I would have said a good leader should be:

* Humble.
* Generous.
* A servant leader.
* Smart.
* Calm under pressure.
* A good decision maker.
* Able to recruit other good leaders.

And lots of other things as well.

But as I kept reading, I was surprised by the main topic discussed under this section entitled “A workman approved by God.”

It was on avoiding… godless chatter. Arguing. Quarrels. Foolish and stupid arguments that lead to resentment.

In other words, we must watch our words. And not just watch them, control them. Wrangle them. Boss them around. Set them straight.

Leaders must, must, must recognize what can happen when we use words the wrong way OR when we allow an environment to develop where words are used the wrong way.

The progression of warnings in this section is haltingly strong:

verse 14: “Quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen.”

verse 16: “Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.”

verse 17: “Their (those that participate in godless chatter and the mishandling of words) teaching will spread like gangrene.”

The warnings continue all the way to the ultimate warning in verse 26 where we learn that it is crucial for those who are stirring up all this junk, to repent in hopes that “they will come to their senses and escape the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.”

Yikes.

The devil has a will. And he can take us captive to do his will.

The words we speak matter.

And so do the words we think. Sometimes we can be smiling on the outside while screaming on the inside… and we think that’s more Christian. Gosh, I’m guilty of this sometimes.

But both external godless chatter and internal godless chatter can lead to dangerous places. Can corrupt our organizations. Can eat us alive from the inside out.

I think it’s worth thinking about today.

I think it’s worth talking about with those we lead. Whether it’s with our families, our circle of friends, or our staff members, …take time. Make time. To talk about how we must watch our words.

Related posts:

1. Bad News, Great News, and a Webcast Replay
2. Inside Chatter Webcast Replay Available
3. Thanks for Joining us!

1. Hydrangea: Now I know what you’re thinking – “flowers for Mother’s Day? That’s not original at all.” But just wait. There’s a twist. One of the finance gals in the Proverbs 31 office was talking about her most special Mother’s Day present today and I absolutely loved this idea… give your mom a hydrangea that she can plant herself. Then every year when it blooms, she’ll remember that you gave her a special gift that lives on.

2. Farmer’s market: A trip to the local farmer’s market is right up my alley. And I’ll tell you why – I’m really, really trying hard to only eat fruits, vegetables, and lean meats right now. Healthy eating. Yes. So why not spend a day with your mom picking out some fresh produce to make a meal together? And if you’re feeling adventurous, maybe you can buy some cauliflower and avocados to experiment with these healthy summer recipes I posted a few Fridays ago.

3. Cooking classes: Y’all. I’m not even going to pretend I’m a good cook. I’m just not good at it. Period. But learning a thing or two about how to make an easy, tasty meal from someone who knows what they’re doing sounds fun. And the best part? You can find some amazing deals on these classes by going through Groupon or LivingSocial. You can also check with your local grocery store or culinary school to see if they’re offering classes.

4. Necklace: What would a Friday Favorites be without some fun jewelry? And if we’re being honest… every mom loves something to give her outfit a little “pop.”

5. NIV Real-Life Devotional Bible for Women: Give your mom the gift of God’s Word through the NIV Real-Life Devotional Bible for Women. Woven throughout Scripture are daily devotions from the Proverbs 31 team! You can purchase it through our Proverbs 31 store or if you want to give it to mom on Sunday, check with your local Family Christian Bookstore.

And I’m doing a giveaway! Leave a comment telling me your favorite Mother’s Day gift and I’ll pick one person to win a copy of the NIV Real-Life Devotional Bible for Women shown above.

Related posts:

1. Bad News, Great News, and a Webcast Replay
2. Inside Chatter Webcast Replay Available
3. Conversations She Will Have About Me With Her Therapist One Day

Then there are other moments. The ones where we feel like a complete failure as a mom. I have them. I suspect you do too.

The moments that taste bitter, not sweet.

The moments that won’t make it into the family scrapbook.

We wonder if we really have it in us to grow a child into a God-following adult.

Yes, those kinds of unglued heart moments aren’t the ones we capture in pictures. But there is a silver lining I’ve discovered in those moments.

Wisdom can be found in the humble and sometimes even humiliating spaces of motherhood.

Wisdom is our silver lining.

Wisdom will help us not repeat the mistakes we’ve made but rather grow stronger through them.  

So, how do we find this wisdom?

We come to the Lord and ask Him for it. We set aside our excuses, our habits, and our justifications and whisper, “I need your perspective God. I come before you and humbly admit my desperate dependence on you.”

Proverbs 11:2 reminds us, “with humility comes wisdom.”

Yes, humility.

But wisdom can also come from those times of humiliation as well.

Remember King David from the Bible? He had an affair with a married woman named Bathsheba. When Bathsheba sent word to David she was pregnant with his baby, he panicked and had her husband killed so he could quickly marry her.

His choice brought calamity upon his house and the son born to he and Bathsheba died. Sin and consequences always walk hand in hand. And David surely suffered the consequences of his choices for years to come.

But mixed in with the heartbreak and the humiliation something else happened.

When the repentant David went to comfort Bathsheba she became pregnant with Solomon. From this relationship wrapped in humiliation came the man the Bible calls, “wiser than any other man.”

From humiliation wisdom came.

Humility and humiliation, silver linings that can lead to wisdom even in the midst of “those days.”

Some of my sweet blog friends are talking about their own unglued moments and the positive things they’re learning through it all in their Build ‘Em Up Series! Won’t you pop on over to read pieces of encouragement from them today?

Courtney – Lil Light O’ Mine
Erin – Blue-Eyed Bride
Kelly – Kelly’s Korner
Jennifer – Life in the Green House

They’re each doing a fun giveaway with some tools to equip you as you face those hard moments.

Be sure to see each of the above blogs for your chance to win an Unglued Summer Sanity Package containing a copy of Unglued, the Unglued Devotional, and a set of Unglued keytags.

I think I’ll give one away too! Leave a comment below telling me how you stay calm in the midst of chaos.

Related posts:

1. Do I want to make peace or progress?
2. The Second Unglued Webcast Replay is Live!
3. When It Feels Better To Blame Someone Else

Exploding when we feel unglued means pushing emotions outward. A rush of feelings bubble up and out of our mouth with harsh words, condemning attitudes, and demonstrative gestures like slamming doors or banging our hand down on a table. The exploding makes us feel good in the moment because it gets the yuck out of us but when we realize all we’ve spewed on others and the hurt we’ve caused, the regret falls heavy.

We’ll either deflect that regret by blaming someone else for our actions or we’ll ingest that regret by shaming ourselves.

Stuffing when we feel unglued means pushing emotions inward. A rush of feelings are stopped from going out by being shoved in. We swallow hard our hurt feelings but not in an effort to process and release. Rather we wallow in the hurt. Like an oyster deals with the irritation of a grain of sand we coat the issue with more and more layers of hurt until a rock of sorts is formed.

But this rock is no pearl. It’s a rock with which we’ll eventually build a barrier or use it to hurl hurt in eventual retaliation.

In processing these definitions, studying the thousands of responses to posts I’ve written on raw emotions on my blog, and honestly assessing myself, I determined there are actually 4 categories of unglued reactions:

• Exploders who blame others
• Exploders who shame themselves
• Stuffers who build barriers
• Stuffers who collect retaliation rocks

Once I identified these four categories I wanted to know which one I fell into. You might even be wondering… “what type of reactor am I?” Well, we’ve created an Unglued assessment that you can take to find out!

Remember: these aren’t labels we carry around with us. These are things we’re identifying about ourselves so we can bring our raw emotions and unglued reactions under the healing revelations of Jesus.

Be sure to leave a comment below telling me what your result was. You’ll be entered to win a copy of the Unglued Devotional: 60 Days of Imperfect Progress!

Related posts:

1. Where In The World Is Lysa…
2. But They Won’t Talk To Me
3. Mean Girls

“I can do it! I can totally do it!” Someone had spoken life into one of my dreams, and for a few weeks I believed I could do it—I could actually start a neighborhood Bible study in my home. I would lure my neighbors over with coffee and cookies, then spring the Gospel on them—they’d never know what hit ‘em! I penciled the date for an Open House on my calendar, sketched out an invitation, and made lists of silly icebreakers.

This crazy idea rattled around in my heart… but by the time it bounced all the way up to my brain, I wasn’t so confident anymore. Could my little list of “things I’d like to teach about” turn into conversations with real women sitting around my kitchen table? What if no one came? What if everyone came? And then there was the mildly troublesome fact that I didn’t know my neighbors.

Besides…
I don’t have time.
I’m not spiritual enough.
My house isn’t nice enough.
People don’t want to talk about religion.

My excuses were legit. I was busy working from home at our growing business while raising a family. I regularly fought with my husband, yelled at bad drivers (I love personalized license plates so I can call people out by name), and had never gotten around to memorizing the minor Old Testament prophets. My living room, with half-chewed rawhides poking out from behind the sofa cushions, is not Pinteresting. And, some people are a little uncomfortable bringing Jesus home from church.

There was nothing in the Bible telling me how to overcome my logical excuses and rational defenses. But there weren’t any escape clauses, either—and trust me, I looked! Not a single instance of “love your neighbor” was followed by “when your calendar is clear and your house is clean.”

“Please, God,” I begged, “Can’t I go to Africa instead? That would be easier than going across the street.”

Truth is, I was scared stiff—stiffly stuck in my comfort zone, stubbornly resisting God’s nudge out my front door.

My excuses were a thin disguise for my fears: fear of sacrifice, fear of humiliation, fear of being different, fear of rejection.

God never did magically eliminate my excuses, but He did ease my fears with sound scriptural promises about loving till it hurts (Ephesians 5:2), the difference between humiliation and humility (Proverbs 29:23), being weird (1 Peter 3:14-15), and pleasing God—not girlfriends (1 Thessalonians 2:4).

On the flip side of my fear, I found God’s faithfulness. He gave me Christ’s example to follow in my own neighborhood. He promised me honor when I submitted in humility. He offered a crown when others might offer criticism. He entrusted me with the Gospel not as a weapon, but as a way of life and love.

God’s faithfulness went with me as, knees knocking, I knocked on my neighbors’ doors. He led them back to my door, these women I never would have met had I not given into this scheme. We talked and laughed. Many became my friends as we continued to gather in my home every other week.

God broke my heart for my neighbors as I realized this was never about me—it had always been about them.

God’s faithfulness multiplied each hour I dedicated to getting ready; my productivity at work and home soared. No one asked me deep theological questions like, “Do pets go to heaven?” and some days they were a little irked at their families, too. They learned not to wear black pants around our yellow dog, and no one cared that Sara Lee made the snacks. And it turns out they needed Jesus in their homes just as much as I did.

Now when fear raises its ugly head, I remember how God proved His faithfulness as I obeyed His commands and believed His promises.

And this thing I dreaded—even as I was dreaming of it—became my deepest joy.

Would you like to turn your dread into joy by starting your very own neighborhood Bible study, but aren’t sure how?

Today, I’m giving away three Neighborhood Café Kits that hold everything you’ll need to love your neighbors in a whole new way!

The kit includes a planning guide, open house invitations, leader’s guide, and more. To enter, leave a comment below telling me why you’d like to be a winner.

The first time I heard the words “neighborhood Bible study” was at Proverbs 31 Ministries’ She Speaks Conference. Each year as I’ve attended She Speaks and She Speaks Intensive, the Proverbs 31 team has stretched my personal faith and expanded my professional ministry. I have never seen so many beautiful women in one place encouraging one another without competing, generously imparting knowledge, equipping women to reach God’s daughters around the world. Read about it, pray about it—then GO TO IT! Click here for more information.

Related posts:

1. A Week Of Giveaways!
2. People-Pleasing
3. Something I’ve Been Avoiding

Legacy. It’s a beautiful word. Part old-fashioned grace mixed with a stirring desire to have this word be true of the marks I leave with my life.

A life that hasn’t always been pretty. There was a season of my life that was very dark. When my baby sister died very tragically and unexpectedly, my entire world flipped upside down.

What I knew to be true suddenly became questionable.

Is God good? If so, why this? And if I never know why, how can I ever trust God again?

Hard questions. Honest questions. Questions that haunted me.

Until.

One day I got a note from a friend. A girl I not-so-affectionately called my “Bible friend.” She honestly got on my nerves with all her Bible verse quoting. I wasn’t on good terms with God at that point in my life. I didn’t want to believe God even existed. And I certainly wasn’t reading the Bible.

I made all of this very known to my Bible friend. But in her gentle, sweet, kind way… she kept slipping me notes of truth with gently woven verses tucked within.

And one day, one verse cracked the dam of my soul. Truth slipped in and split my hardhearted views of life open just enough for God to make Himself known to me.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Personally. Intimately. Relentlessly.

I held that simple note with one Bible verse scribbled on the front as the tears of honest need streamed down my cheeks. My stiff knees bent. And a whispered “yes God” changed the course of my life.

I will never doubt the power of a simple note again.

And I will never doubt the power of one woman reaching into the life of another woman with some whisper of love.

She reached me. She helped change me.

So, I want to reach into her life now and thank her. But how?

Here’s a beautiful way… a “Legacy card” from Proverbs 31 Ministries.

These are also perfect for Mother’s Day. For more information on getting a Legacy card sent to the special women in your life, click here.

I love doing life with you, my blog friends. I treasure you and count you as one of my greatest blessings. So, as I remember to thank my special friend who sent me that life-changing note so long ago… I want to pause… to also thank you.

Thank you for taking time to visit here at my little blog home. Thank you for taking time to slip comment notes under my door.

Your words of sweet encouragement spur me on in so many ways each day. You have left a beautiful mark on my life.

I just wanted to make sure you knew.

Related posts:

1. My Ear – A Path of Perseverance
2. Pizza Man Grace

And in case you weren’t able to tune in to the live feed, the replay is available to watch below. Technology — it’s a beautiful thing, isn’t it?

{Webcast replay no longer available.}

Here are some of the links mentioned in the webcast:

Crystal Paine – Money Saving Mom
Motivated Moms
Amazon.com
Kids Bowl Free
HolisticHomemaking.org
CamelCamelCamel.com
Unglued
Unglued Devotional

Related posts:

1. Inside Chatter Webcast Replay Available
2. Final Unglued Webcast is Live!
3. The Second Unglued Webcast Replay is Live!

One requirement to continue reading past this point is that you keep an open mind to the recipes I’m about to give, okay? Okay.

{Thanks to Closet Cooking for this photo!}

First up, BBQ chicken pizza with a cauliflower crust. Remember, open mind! It sounds like the strangest thing ever, I know. I can only imagine what my face looked like when my sweet friend Laci first introduced me to this interesting food choice, but I promise you it is delicious. And it’s healthy. A win-win!

Here’s the recipe so you can try it for yourself…

1/2 Large head of cauliflower (= 2+ cups of shredded cauliflower)
1 Large egg
1 Cup finely shredded mozzarella cheese
1 Teaspoon of oregano
1/2 Teaspoon of dried minced garlic (or fresh garlic)
1/2 Teaspoon of onion salt

To make the crust:

1. Shred the cauliflower into small crumbles. You can use a food processor, just be careful not to puree. I use a cheese grater and it works fine. You will need 2+

cups of cauliflower crumbles. Place the cauliflower crumbles into a large bowl and microwave them dry for 8 minutes. Let the cauliflower cool.

2. Prepare the crust: Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F. Spray a cookie sheet or pizza pan with non-stick spray. In a medium bowl, mix the cauliflower crumbles with the remaining ingredients. Pat the “crust” into a 9 to 12 – inch round shape or a rectangular shape on the prepared pan. Spray the crust lightly with nonstick spray and bake for 15 minutes or until golden. Remove the crust from the oven and turn the heat up to broil.

3. Prepare the Pizza: Decide what toppings you want on your pizza. I chose to make BBQ chicken Pizza (see topping recipe below.) Top the crust with the barbecue chicken mixture, add red onion and top with cheese. Broil the pizza for 3 to 4 minutes, or until the toppings are hot and the cheese is melted and bubbly. Top with fresh cilantro. Cut and serve immediately.

This pizza is best served on a plate with a fork.

For the BBQ chicken topping:

1/2 Cup barbecue sauce
1 Cup cooked, shredded chicken breast
3/4 Cup shredded Gouda cheese (you can use mozzarella or any kind of cheese you
like – Gouda goes well with BBQ Chicken)
Thinly sliced red onions
Fresh cilantro

You can really tailor this recipe to whatever kind of pizza your family likes – pepperoni, veggie, extra cheese, etc.

And then for dessert… drum roll, please… avocado chocolate ice cream!

{Thanks to Vegan Culinary Crusade for this photo!}

Y’all. I don’t know about you, but when someone tells me there’s a healthy way to get some chocolate into my system, my excitement level rises. I love chocolate. My family loves chocolate. This is perfect!

1/2 Avocado
3/4 Cup coconut or almond milk
1/3 Cup hot cocoa mix (You can use sugar-free if you’d like. You can also switch out the chocolate for frozen strawberries)
2 Cups ice, add more for thicker mix
4 Baby carrots
1 Rib of celery

Blend on high speed of blender for about 45 seconds.
Serve immediately.

If these recipes just saved your mind a whole lot of trouble in deciding what to have for dinner tonight, you won’t want to miss my FREE Summer Sanity Savers webcast on Tuesday, April 23 at 8pm (EST). My friend Crystal Paine and I will be talking about how to save money, time, and of course, your sanity! Just sign up below to receive a reminder about the webcast.

Type your email address
here to receive a reminder
about this free webcast.

Here’s some more exciting news… today I’m giving away a $250 Amazon gift certificate! Yes! You can win a $250 gift certificate (that would be crazy fun, hunh?!) There’s a whole lot more on Amazon than just books. You could use that credit toward new kitchen appliances to whip up some healthy meals this summer. Smiles.

All you have to do is leave a comment below giving me your summer sanity saving tips. I will announce one blog commenter as the winner on the webcast Tuesday See you there!

Related posts:

1. Summer Sanity Savers
2. Sitting At Home, Alone
3. Pizza Man Grace