* M A M A Z I L L A *

sailed off thru night and day, in and out of weeks...

2009-11-09T14:35:00.005-06:00

have shipwrecked on beach. discovered wild things.
shoes are wet. otherwise, am ok. little scared... but ok.

"I took my lucky break and I broke it in two.
Put on my worried shoes, my worried shoes.

Took me so many miles, and they never wore out.
My worried shoes. My worried shoes.

oo oo oo oooooo oooooo, my worried shoes.

I made a mistake that I never forgot.
Tied knots in the laces of my worried shoes.

Every step that I take is another mistake.
I march further and further away in my worried shoes.

oo oo oo oooooo oooooo, my worried shoes.

My shoes took me down a crooked path.
Away from our welcome mats, my worried shoes.

I looked all around and saw the sun shining down.
Took off my worried shoes, my worried shoes.

oo oo oo ooooo oooooo, oo oo oo ooooo oooooo, my worried shoes."

walking the walk...

2009-10-07T22:51:00.001-05:00

free range kids blog recently posted about "the ancient locomotive practice" of walking children to school. i was immediately reminded of a time, some winter recently passed, when i was walking the paloma to school and another parent actually stopped the car she was driving (not to mention the traffic behind her) and said "so, you're going to walk every day?" to which i responded, "yes, pretty much everyday, everywhere." she smiled back at us and said, "i was wondering how you were going to do it. that's terrific!"

it never occurred to me that anyone would wonder how we'd acclimate ourselves to walk around the city in the winter. or that we'd gear up differently than anyone else and then, i realized that we do dress and prepare ourselves differently and that it's possible that people who drive all the time might not realize how easy it really is and how little gear it takes... as i have mentioned before, most of the time i buy stuff second hand, on clearance or at the dollar store. however, when it comes to gear i know will be seeing a LOT of use in the future, i will spend more money.

early in my new mom days, in the spring, when it was just me and paloma, my walking gear consisted of three things i never left home without:

baby bjorn (i know, it's so not ergo and/or earthy... i was a newbie.)
maclaren triumph stroller
eddie bauer diaper bag

when high summer heat hit us, i added a spray bottle full of water to keep the both of us cool.

eventually, the rains poured down and umbrellas and raincoat hoods went up. and then, the snows blew in... i purchased a bjorn carrier cover for when we were walking w/o the stroller... and an ecofleece blanket and overalls, hat and coat from (my former employer) laurenceleste. i purchased a stroller snuggly from one step ahead for when we used the stroller. a rain shield came with the maclaren when we bought it.

for me, i purchased a lands end squall parka and lands end all weather mocs. i still have them, still in very good condition, 6 years later. i did purchase some michael kors snowflake boots for the big blizzard accumulation snow days....

when paloma actually started walking, she wouldn't stop. i think she was still wearing robeez at that time. and she stopped for every little itty bitty thing that caught her eye - the ants, the dandelions, the puddles made by a sprinker, the pebbles in the sidewalk cracks... a two block walk would take hours. rarely, did she want to get in the stroller.

fall was a wonderland for her. i'd purchased a matching raincoat, umbrella and rainboots from kidsurplus. and she LOVED puddle jumping. she still does. since getting over my initial inhibitions (oh! the germs! the dirt! what will the neighbors think!?), both children have outgrown numerous raingear sets. paloma has a little mermaid set now. the porkchop has a mix and match of curious george boots and umbrella and a cow raincoat. thankfully, they have not outgrown the passion of puddlejumping.

anyway back in 2004, when winter hit, we bought the paloma some snow flurry boots from lands end and a warm coat from H & M on clearance. the ladies at laurenceleste had bought her a beautiful suede and sheepskin hat as a baby present. we had moved to a new neighborhood, that turned out to be pretty hilly. so, i purchased a baby jogger 2 bought second hand on craigslist - just in case the paloma got tired. i also bought a jogging stroller sized rain shield and a larger stroller snuggly from one step ahead. a friend of mine purchased some stroller swivelers for me - which were priceless!

it still took forever to get anywhere, but eventually, she'd tire out and would beg for the stroller. however, around my 6th or 7th month of pregnancy with the porkchop, i was getting too tired/winded to push her in the stroller after a long walk so, i stopped bringing it with us. she was BEYOND crabby after a lengthy walk to the park or to preschool. a good walk always helped her forget that she didn't have the stroller - until she hit "the wall".

after the porkchop arrived, we recycled the baby bjorn for a while... and i traded in my eddie bauer bag for a pretty, girly fleurville mothership bag - just because. the porkchop got his own set of laurenceleste fleece wear too.

then, he graduated into the maclaren. at some point, i realized that the paloma was still getting too tired on some longer walks so, we bought (for $40 used on craigslist) a sit and stand stroller. again, i bought another double stroller sized rain shield from one step ahead.

still with me? so, we had the maclaren for short trips and usually for porkchop - paloma would walk. then, for longer walks and usually summer only, we had the sit and stand. for the winter, we had the baby jogger 2 and rarely, when the walks were shoveled and the weather in the 40s - we used the sit and stand. happily, all three strollers were rarely in use at the same time AND they were all collapsible. phew!

the paloma is now 6 yo and the porkchop is 3. i have since sold the baby jogger and the sit and stand. believe it or not, the maclaren is still with us. although, we rarely use it for the porkchop. he's quite happy to run and jump and skip... although, like his sister, has his limits and is BEYOND crabby when he hits "the wall". we'll be purchasing a new coat for him this winter, last years boots from lands end still fit, thankfully. both kids received handmedown snowsuits so, when the going gets tough (this winter), the tough will layer... apparently. :)

this summer, i did invest in a bike trailer to help us all get to the beach and various day camps/summer classes and diversions with our sundry and assorted gear... it also doubles as a stroller which has proven handy on inclement days. especially, most recently, when i was diagnosed with pneumonia, the paloma had walking pneumonia and the porkchop had a bad cold.

so! i challenge thee - driving only person - check out your walkscore (our old neighborhood ranked a 63 out of a 100), get your gear (or ours) together and get walking! it's OLD SKOOL! :)

the gift that keeps on giving...

2009-09-16T08:16:00.010-05:00

waaaaay back in (i can't believe how long it's been) february 2005, the thin man and i went to a kurt halsey frederiksen show at (now dismantled?) wag artworks. the thin man even surprised me with a purchase of an original drawing "met a boy" (at left). upon meeting kurt halsey frederiksen, i was reduced to my cowering, shoegazing fangirl self and finally mumbled "can i take a picture with you?"

i pass my beautiful drawing every day and i was just wondering what kurt halsey frederiksen was up to anyway... and it turns out Rotofugi is having a show with him in june 2010. SA-WEET!

then, i noticed this sickenly saccharinated necklace THAT I MUST HAVE - available thru art star gallery & boutique in philly.

so, i ambled over there to see what else was going on and found a bevy of amazing artists, who after elaborate googling to find their individual websites, introduced me to even more mind blowing artists. i link to them below as a reminder to myself and a link loving gift to you:

jen corace

kathleen lolley

issac bushkin

stella im hultberg

jin young yu

carla bedini

polly verity

be careful, be good, be nice...

2009-09-10T09:13:00.000-05:00

it's that day, again...

a few nights ago, i saw a story on Primetime: Family Secrets about two sisters who also died in a tragic car accident on sept. 27th, 2006 - which would've been andra's 35th birthday. my deepest sympathies go out to the becker/caiafa families and friends. i can't imagine what it must be like for them but i know a similar bottomless loss of innocent loved ones at the hands/vehicles of careless people.

i can't believe my post above is 3 years old... i remember riding the trains and shielding myself in roaring white noise and numbness like it was yesterday... and now, 16 years have come and gone since my best friend and her sister passed away.

i started re-reading andra's letters to me about a week ago... right on schedule... the first one is dated september 18, 1989. the last one is dated february 23, 1993. they reside in a beautiful birds eye maple box that a woodworking artist/classmate made for me in college.

andra hated her senior year photo above, but it's one of the few i have where her eyes aren't closed or she isn't looking terribly annoyed, sheepish or evasive. i found it stashed in the box of letters and i'd forgotten about it, so i post it here now... somewhat conflicted... sorry, andra.

our 20 year high school reunion is fast approaching and i'm still sitting on the fence re: attending... for many reasons... foremost of which, the one person i'd want to see won't be there. ever.

looking back, high school was so traumatic and so painful for me and andra made the experience so much easier, so much more tolerable.... she was my personal spinal tap. she always reminded me that high school wasn't the end of the world and that it was ok that i didn't reach my own fairy tale pinnacle there - something as a teenager i had so much trouble recognizing or reconciling with... she knew that we didn't have much time to goof around and pretend we didn't know better. that instead of being youths, we were expected to grow up quickly and struggle to stay youthful forever. to me, time was infinite and constantly linear, but to andra it was inestimable, ephemeral and fluid...

i remember the summer before we went to college. i decided to stay in chicago and attend art school at columbia college and she was on her way to the "chilly willy world of the golden gophers", the university of minnesota - minneapolis. i was anxious about our being apart for so long with only winter and summer breaks to see each other - if we were lucky and had money and time to spare...

and then, i got a letter... her first letter is in a bright yellow envelope. my name and address are artfully and beautifully drawn in a whimsical script that only andra could have drawn. the letter, from salutation to farewell, is awash in exclamation points and CAPITALS. she was SO happy and excited to be in minnesota. she writes about every mundane thing in vivid detail... her stationery, her phone bill, her dorm room, her pretty roomate, her roomates tiresome boyfriend, the cafeteria food, her RA... she even draws a map of her room to illustrate her complaint re: some bookshelves which were inconveniently/incorrectly placed above her bed.

her window overlooked a small river which tempted her to adventure beyond the U and into dinkytown with all its shops and cafes, and the bounty of beautiful boys sprawled about. she ends the letter saying she loves me, that i am her neatest, favoritest, bestest friend. she was going to run the letter to the post office and mail it immediately so that i wouldn't think i'd been forgotten. she writes that she misses me a lot and loves me a lot and hopes i am taking care of myself. and that she would call soon to make sure i was eating enough marzipan.

her last letter is written on onion skin paper. the envelope is a bisque color and like every other letter, my name and address are exquistely printed by her hand and to the left of my name is a bear hiding in an overgrown, overfed colorful flower bush. her handwriting and grammar and sentence structure is more poised but relaxed in this letter.

she complains about another exhausting, cold winter and her sad, housebound cat (also illustrated in detail at left margin) and about my excessive drinking and well... all the other extra curricular activities i would involve myself in while under the influence... she enjoys my stories and living vicariously thru me (she was in a long term, committed relationship). she approves of seduction, but not of teasing and definitely not of settling for what was "available"...

she complains and scolds about how often i devalue myself. she worries about my future and hers... sometimes seriously, sometimes humorously... that our futures are bearing down too fast in some situations and at too slow a pace in others. she had started packing to return to illinois and it was making her uneasy. her first day back she was attending a baby shower of a mutual high school classmate and reality again was weighing heavily on her mind... she was somewhat baby phobic when in their presence, but often admired their good qualities from a distance.

the letter ends very abruptly with a few enthusiastic sentences about charlie chaplin - she watched some of his films and read his biography... feeding into her curiosity and reverence for history and nostalgia and the supernaturally talented... (i keep forgetting to pick up that biography.)

both her first and last letters to me end with "much love, Andra". however, andra usually ended her letters to me with the departing and cautionary phrase "be careful, be good, be nice, Andra". sometimes her letters were eight pages (sometimes 2 sided) long, and sometimes, i got two or three VERY BIG WORDS on a postcard...

today, my grieving feels as if i've reduced myself to a rat, scavenging thru leftover, but treasured scraps... the photos, the memories, the letters, the words, the gifts, the newspapers clippings, even a trio of soybeans i was given from the quiet, lush green, swaying field that witnessed the accident... what is it called when you're beyond grief, beyond desolate but also beyond acknowledgement or even reverie?

i miss andra so much.... i miss writing candid, earnest, loving letters to her and the excitement/anticipation of getting one in return. i miss telling her about new music i like or complaining about not enjoying a john irving book in decades... sharing with her the turmoils of being a fumbling parent or keeping a tangible balance in my life in an effort to remain sane... to retain what little i think i know about myself... and of course, there is the abundance of blessed joy that i feel in my life, that she always wanted me to have, that she prayed for and hoped for...

logically, i know i am lucky to have my letters... to see through her eyes, how i've evolved in 20 years and in what ways i haven't... but every passing year it becomes more difficult to imagine what she would look like now, where she would be living, what career/activites would be monopolozing her time, etc... it's as if i stand beside her, eternally waiting for a bus in evanston in 1993. my memory via cancelled us mail is an emotionless panorama via one way mirror.

sometimes i don't want to be careful, or be good, or be nice. i want to drink until my teeth are soft, walk slowly across a fast moving LSD and boorishly humiliate and violently injure strangers in public... but, i don't... i won't...

thank you, andra. my family thanks you. my children will read your letters one day and they will thank you and mourn your loss too... if i am granted the luxury of growing ancient and happy and look back on my life and recognize that i was half the resplendent human being you were - it will be enough.

i feel you still looking out for me from wherever you are... still encouraging me, still gently admonishing me.... thank you, bless you, i love you... i miss you so much it still hurts... it's been much too long since your last letter, please visit me in my dreams again if you can, i need all the counsel and comfort i can get...

"mama filipina"

2009-08-20T14:02:00.007-05:00

just an fyi - i have a new post up over at filipina moms blog called "mama filipina"

and i'm just posting this again because... um, i can. :)

will dance for jollibee! :)

2009-08-12T21:08:00.000-05:00

via angryasianman:

Spotted this super-fun video making the rounds... Here's a crazy flash mob of 300-plus people doing a mass-choreographed dance routine at the SM Mall of Asia in the Philippines, much to excitement and bewilderment of onlookers who weren't in on the seemingly spontaneous performance. The whole thing was apparently staged by Filipino fast food chain Jollibee. Why? I don't know. Why the heck not yet? Hey, this is the nation that brought you the dancing Cebu inmates. They are capable of anything!

i love that angryasianman asks "Why?" the pinoys are "spontaneously" dancing in unison... um, hello?! you might as well ask why is the sky blue? or why is water wet? or why do humans breathe? :)

Passport to the Philippines 2009

2009-06-12T22:38:00.001-05:00

this saturday and sunday, june 13 and 14, the Chicago Children's Museum is hosting the 2009 Passport to the Philippines event. i went to the 2008 presentation with the porkchop and paloma (and assorted titas, titos, cousins...) which included, arts & crafts demos from the philippines, traditional folk dancing, a small "taste of the philippines" (which RAN OUT OF FOOD right after i got there!!??), a yo yo expert (yo yo as weapon - aaawwwwkward) and booths with exhibits about philippine industry and history. all in all, we had a great time last year and hoped to attend this years event if it repeated. according to their website, the list of event participants has grown and flourished:

in addition to the Samhang Kapatid traditional dance performers, two contemporary dance troupes will be performing - O.U.T. and Miran. A martial arts group, Islanders Karate will be demonstrating modern arnis and dumog.

leading cooking demos this year - Jun San Juan and chef Jennifer Aranas of Rambutan restaurant and author of The Filipino Kitchen.

added to the traditional arts and crafts demos - kut kut artist Fred de Asis and Sherie Sloane.

i'm really excited to attend this weekend! full disclosure: as soon as Samahang Kapatid started dancing last year, i got a little choked up... watching the paloma and porkchop jockey for best viewing positions, their rubbernecking, their attention captured by the colorful and graceful dancers.. then, almost losing their bowls of pancit when they got up to voiciferously cheer and applaud the dancers...

i was so thankful that although another trip to the philippines (in actual size) is far in our future, that here in the land of lincoln, we could pool our wealth of resources together and offer up a little, precious, breathtaking slice of the islands to the stateside masses...

now, if we can only get a kalesa and a jeepney ride around the pier... ooh! and a fish ball vendor!

i REEEEALLY hope you'll take advantage of this great event! maybe we'll see you there!

* my one and only bowl of pancit... i was ROBBED.

* yes, eventually someone told this boy that these were instruments and not clothing. ;)

on being "colorblind"

2009-05-19T08:54:00.008-05:00

often i find whenever i bring up a recent newsworthy incident about race and/or skin color, the response i get (from caucasian and people of color alike) is, "well, i don't see a person's color" to which i don't know how to respond... except to take the response as another way of saying, "i don't want to talk about this." and so i go with the flow and the subsequent change of subject...

a few weeks ago, i picked up the may '09 issue of chicago parent magazine and read this clear, thoughtful and positive letter written by kara wright, founder of mindhearted, inc. i was so thankful to kara for writing the letter and have read it often (see multiple coffee cup rings surrounding it...) and plan to use her advice in any future conversations about race, stymied by the "colorblind" flag.

for a while, i tried to find her letter on the magazine's website (my newsprint copy will not last much longer) and couldn't and had decided to post it here... well, as i said, a few weeks have past and i finally found it here. but the letter is posted below (hey, typing with my toes in a kitchen cabinet is a mad skill!) :

Colors and race matter

I love your magazine and use it as a relevant resource for my parenting needs every month. But I was really disappointed in some of the information shared in the article, Embrace the differences and similarities: New president helps open discussions about race in your home

As a parent and diversity practitioner who works specifically with parents who are committed to raising open-minded and compassionate children, I was very happy to see the article. However, I was absolutely horrified when reading the first tip that suggested, "Teach your kids to be color blind." While I cannot speak for all diversity practitioners or researchers who specialize in this field, I cannot think of one who would suggest that we teach our children to be color blind. Why? Because ALL of us notice variations in physical appearance (even very young children) that cause us to draw conclusions or raise the question as to what race a person is. Not doing so suggests that it’s not safe to discuss race or any difference and makes children feel as though they have done something wrong.

I applaud Ms. Monaghan for writing about this subject and appreciate some of the other tips from Ms. Clarke, but I can’t tell you how important it is to really understand a subject matter that highlights any of our society’s -isms (i.e. racism, sexism, heterosexism, classism, etc). Why do people insist on suggesting being color blind is the answer? Because most are scared to death of being labeled racist. The fact is that noticing a person’s race does not make you racist. What does make you racist are judgments, assumptions and beliefs about that person’s intellectual, physical or emotional characteristics based on the race you think the person is.

More importantly, when one teaches their children to be color blind, what you’re really teaching them is that race doesn’t matter in America. I do believe the story of our nation is changing. I also believe and celebrate that the story our children will come to know will be different from the one I learned—thank goodness. But I think we should be honest—race still matters because racism is alive and well. Pretending otherwise negates the everyday experiences of millions of people of color in this country who still fail to have adequate access to health care, education and housing. Continued disparities in wealth, contracts granted in business and everyday experiences for people of color are still affected by race.

Yep, it’s a heavy subject and it is hard and painful to talk about for everyone. But if we really want to create change for our children so they can have a better world and a true opportunity at a "post-racial" society, we have to be honest with ourselves first and then with our children in appropriate ways. We also have to model and teach our children how to go beyond the concerns of a specific group to which we belong and recognize when another group is being discriminated against. It’s an injustice to us all. We can teach our children at all ages to speak up and advocate in ways where their physical or emotional safety is not compromised, but we have to be willing as parents to learn the skills.

Instead of putting the burden of defusing, diverting or departing on the person, child or adult who falls prey to racist or hurtful statements, we can teach our children a little skill called inquiry. It is a wonderful way to ask, "How did you reach your conclusion about this?" Usually the person making the statements then has to be the one to be accountable to defuse, divert or depart, not the one who is subjected to the racist remarks. And while it won’t magically change that person’s values or beliefs, sometimes a simple question can help us all to reflect. Something we all could do a lot more.

KARA WRIGHT
Founder of Mindhearted Inc.
Chicago

look ma, no hands!!!

2009-02-17T16:44:00.003-06:00

just an fyi - i have a new post up titled look ma, no hands!! at filipina moms blog about jessica cox, an inspirational speaker who recently got her pilot's license despite being born without arms.

pamasko and pasalubong and regalo! oh my...

2008-12-31T17:55:00.004-06:00

just an fyi - i have a new post up at filipina moms titled, pamasko and pasalubong and regalo! oh my.... about gifts, regifts, balikbayan boxes and filipino charities.

happy 3rd coughbelatedcough birthday porkchop!

2008-12-09T15:06:00.006-06:00

i'm stuck in christmas cards' newsletter writer's block limbo, so all i have to offer is the standard birthday meme to commemorate the porkchop's birthday which was on sunday, december 7th:

1) Go to Wikipedia
2) In the search box, type your birth month and day but not the year.
3) List three events that happened on your birthday
4) List two important birthdays and one death
5) One holiday or observance (if any)

i'm going to throw caution to the wind and name three of each since he turned three. it's a stretch i know.... :)

events:

1941 - World War II: Attack on Pearl Harbor - The Imperial Japanese Navy attacks the US Pacific Fleet and its defending Army Air Forces and Marine air forces at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. (coz no one ever gets it when i say, "a day that will live in infamy!")
1972 - Apollo 17, the last apollo moon mission is launched. (some people were born this year.)
2005 - Rigoberto Alpizar, a passenger on American Airlines Flight 924 who allegedly claimed to have a bomb, is shot and killed by a team of U.S. federal air marshals at Miami International Airport. (no idea this happened. i was under the influence of an epidural.)

birthdays: (define "important")

1910 - Louis Prima, American musician (d. 1978)
1949 - Tom Waits, American singer, composer, and actor
1966 - C. Thomas Howell, American actor

deaths: (this was all a stream of consciousness... de lesseps = realhousewives of nyc, graves = high school angst, scoggins = familiar childhood tv)

1894 - Ferdinand de Lesseps, French diplomat and entrepreneur (Suez Canal) (b. 1805)
1985 - Robert Graves, British author (b. 1895)
2004 - Jerry Scoggins, American singer (b. 1913)

holidays: (besides pearl harbor day)

Colombia - Día de las Velitas (Day of the Candles)
India - The Armed Forces Flag Day
International Civil Aviation Day

i woulda posted the links, but it's snack time and they're going to kill me if i don't get their veggie booty stat.

on drawing pumpkins and circles....

2008-12-02T14:10:00.006-06:00

i'm going to pretend that i haven't blogged since june... i suggest you join me... i MAY even explain later...

(like anyone is actually reading this...)

so, the paloma came home a few days ago with this drawing that she did in school. it's amazing to see how far she's come with drawing and coloring. she's actually following directions and using the "correct" colors for things like purple for grapes, red for apples, yellow for bananas, etc... although, when it's just the two of us, she's still coloring things all willy nilly - making them striped or polka dotted...

it was the pumpkin in the middle that reminded me of something that happened to me in grade school.

i don't remember how old i was but i had a teacher who had given us a similar project. my teacher was pretty gifted artistically. she made a cornucopia out of brown construction paper and tacked it to a large corkboard in our classroom. then, she gave each of us a fruit to make as an assignment. it was really just busy work, since i was given a precut, blank, pumpkin cut-out to trace, cut out and color in. all i had to do was trace onto orange construction paper, draw in the ribs of the pumpkin and color the stem... no tendrils, no vines, no seeds, no blossom end - just give the blank, pumpkin cut-out a little more depth.

well, my pumpkin looked pretty much like the paloma's above. i'd drawn the lines straight up and down NOT like the printed pumpkin underneath where the lines are convex and attach to the stem. admittedly, i was rushing because it was the end of the day and i wanted to get home, but i thought my pumpkin was fine.

my teacher did not. in fact, she was so disappointed, she refused to put my pumpkin up and told me that i had to sit in my seat until i made a pumpkin properly. well, it must have been eight or so rejected pumpkins later that she finally let me go home... after the janitor had cleaned our room... after everyone had finally grown tired of the monkey bars and the merry go round... i walked home absolutely weary and defeated by a stupid pumpkin drawing battle.

weeks earlier, the same teacher had me stay after school because i didn't color in one direction and within the lines. the janitor came and went that day too, as did my classmates' afterschool playtime.

i doubt my teacher called my home to tell my mom about keeping me afterschool. i'm not sure i ever told my mom. i was a latchkey kid and was usually home before she got off work. and i don't think my grandmother lived with us yet. you'd think i'd be over this, but in reality, i'm not.

a little while back, out of some inexplicable frustration, the thin man was trying to get the paloma to color in the lines. and i responded with a knee jerk reaction to defend her and her milestones... i was little emotional about it and i realized i was transported back to that empty classroom and that empty feeling. i didn't want her to feel that. eventually yes. but not yet. not now when she's 5.

the thing is this... (and this is where i clue you into my blogging disappearance) at the beginning of june, we met with the paloma's preschool teacher who out of the blue gave us a laundry list of things that she'd been doing that year. things that she thought were age inappropriate. she didn't say that she thought that the paloma needed to be evaluated. but the laundry list looked like a behavioral checklist for an evaluation of a child with learning disabilities. and then, she told us that the paloma cried at least ONCE a day, EVERY day that school year.

and this meeting, at the END of the school year, was the first time we were hearing about it. even though, we'd met with her at the middle of the year and i walked the paloma to school everyday. we were never told that she had cried for a whole year.

i was devastated. i felt like i was the worst mom on the planet. what kind of mom doesn't know that her child is crying in school every day?! what kind of teacher doesn't tell a student's parent that she's crying in school every day?! so, after i cried and criticized and stewed over it, i finally got my act together. i called a behavioral therapist to talk about the paloma and set up an appointment for the paloma to be evaluated by the city of chicago for any learning disabilites...

when we got to the testing site at the local library, i was shocked at how many people were already waiting and how tough it must be for parents of children with learning disorders. for the most part, the paloma (who is very active and talkative and bored easily) was very well behaved and patient. the other parents had children with obvious behavior issues and i really sympathized/empathized with them - especially for the parents of two or more. i was lucky that a generous friend of mine came with her child and read with the porkchop in the kids room while we waited and finally got tested. most of the parents had all their children together. that waiting room was another level of hell for some, i'm sure...

anyway, the paloma flew thru the testing with flying colors. the evaluator saw nothing out of the ordinary and said, "your daughter is not exhibiting anything that i can see. you've been here a few hours right? you've seen these children? she is not like them. maybe she's just not a montessori kid. maybe she's bored. my advice is take her out of that environment, enroll her in your local public school and see how it goes. public school is much more structured and if she does exhibit any issues they can catch it there."

so, i visited the local school and talked to the counselor there who reassured me the evaluator was correct that if there were any issues, they would see them and they would take care of her.

when the school year started, i met with the paloma's new teacher. a neighbor told me that she specialized in special education and was a favorite teacher for all of her kids who are older and "normal". i gave the paloma's new teacher the laundry list that her former teacher had given us. after she read it over, she called to tell me that everything the former teacher had noted/pointed out were behaviors she considered age appropriate. she reassured me that she'd keep an eye on the paloma but that she didn't think that we should worry.

well, it's been more than a few months now, and i finally feel like i can take a breath. at our first report card pick up, the paloma's teacher only had good things to report, she's doing well academically and has a few things to work out behaviorally, but nothing outside the norm... and before i left, she said, "if you haven't done it already. i want you to tear up that letter. it can only do you and the paloma harm. don't worry, she's fine." at home, the paloma's tantrums are fewer and infrequent. she's becoming more and more of a little grown up to which i almost always respond, "you don't have to grow up so fast. there's no race to win here."

so today, the paloma is drawing inside the lines but not drawing an anatomically correct pumpkin... we're aware of it and no one is keeping her afterschool because of it. and best of all, no more secret tears.

last but not least, i realized while i was away that blogging and the bloggers who i have met online and IRL mean more to me than i thought. in real life, when things start to go downhill, i respond by staying home, being quiet and internalizing stuff, dealing with issues by myself when i can... mostly because i don't want to be my friends' depressed and depressing friend.... i hate to be a lead ballon. so, when i stopped blogging, i realized it was because i didn't want to be a lead balloon online either... so, i think i've diagnosed myself as a fairweather blogger. i'll blog about drive-ins and cat barf and john lennon and parenting and being brown in a white world, but don't expect me to blog about depressing stuff when i'm depressed. 'cause i just can't do that to you. and i won't.

GET OFF THE COUCH, CHICAGO.

2008-06-13T19:48:00.002-05:00

a very good friend of mine, george gee, and his band, the jump, jivin' wailers, will be in town playing three events.... YOU HAVE TO COME OUT AND SEE THEM!!! at least once... pleeeeeeeeeeeeease?

saturday, june 14th
chicago summer dance
spirit of music garden @ grant park
601 s michigan ave
6-7 dance lessons w/ margot and riley
7:30-9:30 george gee

sunday, june 15th
beer garden at navy pier @ 1 p.m.

willowbrook ballroom
8900 archer ave, willow springs, il @ 8 p.m.

and now for something completely different....

2008-06-11T13:35:00.012-05:00

I MET JOHNNY DEPP!!!!

WARNING: the geeky 80s fangirl i used to be has arisen from the ancient ashes of my youth... LIKE A PHOENIX... so get out while you can before you're covered in hormones and braces and little debbies...

i don't even know where to start....

i mean do i start with the day i met him twenty years ago? when i was 16 in 1988... the whole cast of 21 jump street was doing a meet and greet in the pedway near marshall fields and a zillion fans queued up for hours, zig zagging underground, only to find that we couldn't take pictures or really talk to them... just shuffle by, wave and pick up a pre-signed 8x10 glossy on our way out....

or did this really start on my birthday? when the thin man and i auditioned as dance extras for his new film public enemies... i didn't get called back as an extra, but the thin man did. he's in a few scenes at union station and in a handful of scenes at the aragon ballroom. so, if he doesn't end up on the cutting room floor, you'll see him crossing johnny depp's path a few times, on the big screen, next year!

or maybe this all started when i saw his haunting performance in sweeney todd... it was that performance that nudged me to look for that forgotten 8x10 glossy in an old wooden trunk and i actually found it and my chandler's from '89 (my senior year). inside, on the one year anniversary of the day we met i wrote down "me & jd - one year ago today" with heart doodles and a cut out pic of him from teen beat or something.... (along with obligatory concert stickers from killing joke and nitzer ebb - in an effort to keep my "alternative" card).

something about that performance really jolted me into remembering that i too am a creative person. that i was a creative person before i was a parent and that like him, if i just kept at it, could continue to be a creative person and STILL be a parent... it was an epiphany that i'd had before, but his performance was really luminous and i had this strange urge to thank him for such great entertainment and for the epiphany... so, i wanted to offer him my best in gratitude for offering his best. i found a postcard of an illustration i had done, i made a lovely dress for his daughter lily and i wrote him a thank you letter on the back of a photocopy i'd made of the old 8x10 glossy. if i could have found an extra copy of the two poetry magazines i was published in i would have included those too...

( the dress on the far left is the one i made for lily depp... the one on the right is the paloma's)

i don't know why i feel i have to disclose this... but, honestly, i'm one of those fairweather fans of his... i haven't seen every film or interview... i don't plan on it. i don't know why i was so determined... so driven to finish what i started... all i really ever wanted was to get this little thank you package to him. i really didn't want/set out to meet him. i was really hoping that the thin man would find a way to get it to him. but, after three full days of shooting, the thin man came home defeated and the task fell to me... i dunno... suffice to say, something was in the works...

we found out that the cast and crew would be filming in front of frontera grill on june 9th - johnny depp's birthday - but not when. so i took a stab at it and figured on making it there around 11 am. a girlfriend of mine immediately agreed to look after the paloma and the porkchop as long as she had to so that i could get my little care pkg to him. i looked at the weather report and it was predicting rain from 12-5. i dressed apprpriately and took along a really good book, my wallet, keys, my camera and an umbrella and headed off.

i think i must have said a trillion hail marys from the time i left the house until the time i arrived... honestly, i didn't stop praying... (and apologizing... admitting guilt for everything... lapsed catholic that i am...)

i got there as planned and extras and crew were already hard at work blocking shots. i overheard a crew member tell some other random onlooker that johnny was not on set and that they had started working at 6 am. so, we were watching their doubles. and ten minutes or so later, a black suv rolled into the set and out stepped marion cotillard. another five mintues later, a second black suv rolled into the set and there he was... ok, he was half a block away, but i could see that johnny depp had arrived on set. i looked up at the sky which did look threatening... and continued to pray in my head...

it was around this time when they asked us to move from the corner we were on to the corner across the street. then, one of the many vintage cars started to back up towards us... and i spied marion cotillard in the passenger side (the side closest to me) and realized that johnny was in the drivers seat (the OTHER street corner)! as soon as the take was done, i ran over to the other corner and he was literally 50 ft away from me for maybe ten takes.... at one point, i along with other rabid fangirls (they were like 16 years old, mind you) started to yell "happy birthday, johnny!" before the take and he looked at us and smiled and waved... and i just about lactated... he was THAT dreeeeeeeeeeeeamy.... :)

(shaky fan + no flash allowed + long shutter delay = blurry photo)

ok, so HOURS later... around 2 pm, i had lunch with the thin man who also couldn't resist the magic yumminess that is johnny depp... around 3:30 or so, the clouds finally cracked and it began to rain buckets. my heart sank. i shared my umbrella with a young woman named lucy and her little 6 yo, lily. lucy's mom, della, was also there with lucy's 2 yo, jack. mind you, johnny depp has two children named lily and jack as well... and no, she did not name them to mimic johnny.... cosmic co-inky-dink, no?

we all hit it off quite famously, bonding in our common mom of twohood, fangirl geekiness, chicagoness and cat loverness.... half an hour or so later, the rain stopped for the whole day.... :) THANK YOU, JESUS (BUDDHA, YAHWEH, ALLAH, ELVIS)!

finally around 8pm or so, the final shot of the day was wrapping up. earlier, lucy had actually driven the kids home, and gotten her good camera but she wasn't back yet. before she left she told me that she had found the trailers behind her office in a parking lot. she told me the exact corner where they were and i told her mom that i would meet them there. i ran over there as soon as the last take was done.

lucy met me at the trailer and ten minutes later or so, johnny's suv drove into the parking lot. he rolled down his window and said hi and waved. and i frantically waved my pkg at him yelling "IHAVEAPRESENTFORYOU!IHAVEAPRESENTFORYOU!"

YES. i am THAT freakishly uncool.

he nods and gives me the international "gimmeaminute" sign - index finger up, other fingers folded.... then, the suv parks and he gets out and again i jump around yelling "IHAVEAPRESENTFORYOU!IHAVEAPRESENTFORYOU!"...

omg. SOMEONE put me out of my misery... and again, he nods and gives me the international "gimmeaminute" sign.

after he walks into his trailer, his "right arm", otherwise known as "jerry" comes out and says, "johnny's too tired today. he won't be coming out." to which i promptly responded, "THAT'SOK.CANYOUGIVEHIMMYPRESENT?" and he looks at me like i'm a total raving idiot/lunatic and says calmly, "yes. of course, i can give it to him." in the tone of, "don't you KNOW who i am lowly fangirl?" i should have having read this great recap of another fangirl meet and greet with johnny.

so, he takes my pkg and i watch him get into johnny's trailer with it and leave without it. THE EAGLE HAD LANDED...

lucy and della (who ran to meet us) and i kinda look at each other and are not sure what to do... but i told them about what i'd read and how this was very similar to what happened to the girl at the other meet and greet and we decide to stick around...

another fangirl came up to me and sadly said that she had to go home. she asked if i could give johnny a gift that she had made - a mix cd and a letter. i told her i'd do my best... i was still racing the clock - i had to make a 9:45pm train. i gave it to a really friendly security guard who gave it to a crew member who came to me and told me he gave it to johnny. so, anonymous fangirl, johnny has your gift. :)

lucy then, generously offers to drive me home too so i don't have to hurry to catch the train home.... turns out she lives in a south suburb and my neighborhood is on her way home. is this NOT the day of miracles or what? THANK YOU UNIVERSE!

another hour later, strangely enough, jerry comes back out and kinda scopes us out for a bit and then goes back into the trailer. at this point, there's about 20 of us or so... and then, minutes later, in a very bawdy and loud (british accented?) voice, jerry says, "ok! everybody get in line! against the fence! johnny will only sign one thing per person! no flash photography! if he signs more then one thing or a flash goes off, we're turning around and leaving!"

luckily, della, lucy and i were already leaning on the fence, 'cause then, everyone starts to jockey for positions inbetween us. we somehow managed to squeeze everyone else around us so that we could stick together.... and then, he came out of his trailer and started to walk towards us...

(again no flash + long shutter delay + shaky fan = blurry photo)

i tore an end paper out of my book (sorry stephanie!) and handed it and the book to della who ripped the page in half and gave it to me... della was second or third in line. johnny greeted her warmly and genuinely and signed her little sheet. then lucy, who was also greeted well and he shook her hands, which she said was all she really wanted and then, finally, he got to me.

my brain was mush after standing for 10+ hours waiting for him. i couldn't think, couldn't breathe, i wondered if my breath stank... if i stank... then, he said "hi" and shook my hand with both of his hands. and i said "i made the dress for your daughter". and he said "what?" and i say "i made a dress for you... the dress for your daughter, did you get it?" and he quickly recovers and says "yes, the dress! yes, it's in my trailer. thank you. that was really sweet." he signs my little scrap of paper and says "thanks" again. and as i watch him go by, he actually turns to me again and takes a pause and says something like, "it was really sweet, God bless you." and i realize then, that he may have actually read my letter too and maybe then, he felt as i did that we had found commonality in parenthood and creativity or something.... i dunno...

and then, after meeting and greeting the rest of the crowd with a wave and a smile he got into the suv and was gone. lucy, della and i were stunned. lucy actually got the whole thing on video and if i can figure out how to open an .IFO file i'll post it...

i've so many other important and parentish topics to post about but, i just wanted to finish this... i finally said what i had to say to johnny depp. and i wanted to share that with you. i wanted to let you know that although i feel like a failure in other parts of my life, i actually allowed myself to dream up something totally impulsive and care-free and wild... and i finished it. i wanted to embrace that part of me that actually thinks and obsesses over other things besides loving and caring for my children and my husband and the cats and the house and our cray-zee, marathonic, roller coastering life. honestly, i wanted to stop living vicariously and actually BE like so many of you who live in the present - so vividly, courageously and honestly - and who i deeply and truly admire and adore... :)

UPDATE 6/30:

i finally got the dvd of my meeting with johnny transferred to an avi file! and apparently, johnny depp makes me hallucinate...

after viewing the video finally, i found that it was not quite how i remembered it... not in a bad way - except that it was much shorter than it felt and that it probably didn't have nearly as much meaning as i had hoped (to him, not me)...

anyhoo... at the 1:21 mark, you will hear me say, "did you get my gift?".

(you won't see me because my friend lucy was shall we say a little "distracted". ;P)

perspective from a bridge...

2008-05-14T23:05:00.004-05:00

just an fyi - i have a new post up at filipina moms titled, "perspective from a bridge", about how i feebly manage to educate the kids about their filipino heritage... hope you like it. :)

btw - i had these really grand and delusional plans to publish another post (in addition to the filipina moms post) about today's adventures in potty training the porkchop... but after jumping (and jumping and jumping) in rain puddles (while walking for miiiiiiiiiiiles in search of aforementioned puddles) early this morning.... and then jumping into potty training.... and then trying to make dinner from a totally new recipe with a totally new grill pan, while simultaneously training the failing and fountainous, but smiley and jolly porkchop....

*waving white flag*

me tired. me go bed now.

fire bad. tree pretty. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

happy mother's day!!!

2008-05-11T13:00:00.002-05:00

ok, go back to doing nothing... ;)

what i did during my (increasingly recurrent) blogging hiatus(es)...

2008-05-07T15:38:00.001-05:00

* auditioned as a dance extra in a johnny depp / christian bale film shooting in chicago now called public enemies. (i didn't make it but the thin man did!)

* celebrated my 36th year on earth in vegas w/ a posse of my girls... where i got carded at social house! woo-hoo! and still caught my flight despite daylight savings time! BONUS!

* had our bedroom and entryways painted - by the slowest painting crew known to man. got trapped indoors because of inclement weather. and then, went bankrupt. and contemplated murdering painting crew and then suicide.

* immediately after painting mayhem, JUST BARELY survived another grueling spring break with the paloma and the porkchop. it was like a scene out of lord of the flies up in here people...

* watched cars and polar express with the porkchop at least once a day.

* thought up a GAZEEEEEEEELION craft ideas to entertain the paloma.

* went to our local public library with terrible tantrumming two yo at least once every week.

* shopped for fabric and sewed up a bunch of dresses and costumes as gifts for the paloma, friends and family.

* got to hang wid my sistah filipina moms bloggers - gena and mj- more wimmins i wannabees when i grows up....

* visited my chiropractor and my hair salon and my ob/gyn in an effort to get into the shower more than once a month.

* missed any and all easter holidays... bad catholic!! BAD catholic!!!

* interviewed a handful of potential babysitters so that the thin man and i could actually get a date night in a week. found mary poppins was available. SO. NOT. KIDDING. very excited!!!

* hosted a jewelry trunk show/party for one of my oldest and dearest grrlfriends, eva rios.

* got terminally obsessed, depressed and over ate desserts over the paloma ( who incidentally HATES ME! WANTS TO KILL ME! and HOPES THAT I WILL DIE!) possibly having non verbal learning disorder (just like i did this same time, last year....)

still over eating. as i type.

suffice to say the winter was bad for me.
the spring didn't start so great either.

but i'm ok and hangin' in there. slowly coming out of hiding... kinda like the butterflies i'm seeing more and more of...

i've missed blogging and commenting and reading your comments and posts.

but, i think i'm ready to play catch up.

tag. you're it. :)

the loudest baby she'd ever heard...

2008-03-03T14:26:00.003-06:00

(i know i said no more pics of the kids... but i made the dress and the matching one for her doll!!!)

when i think back five years ago to when the paloma was born, i think about my steadfast, exhausted and golden midwife who placed an 8 lb swaddled bundle on my chest and quietly said, "i've helped a lot of new babies into the world and that little girl is by far and away the loudest one."

and she still is. i've said it before and i'll say it again... it's a crime that i can't apply for worker's comp for on the job hearing loss.

anyhoo, although the paloma's birthday is today (which you might've known if you happened to be watching sprout tv this morning), we celebrated her birthday with friends and family on saturday. by 1:30 she was birthdayed out, exclaiming in her very loudest voice, "I AM DONE PLAYING BIRTHDAY GAMES NOW! I THINK I'M REALLY TIRED!"

to which almost all parents responded with a resounding "Coats! Now!"

admittedly, i was feeling a little ordinary and inadequate because we didn't have an inflatable jumperoo, or a magician, or a storyteller, or a singer, or a balloon animal maker... like all the other birthday parties that we've been to. but, even with the few games we played (duck duck goose, red light green light, etc) and the pinata, the kids seemed like they had a good time. the parents looked bored out of their gourds, but hey, i'm only human and slightly socially inept - i can only do so much... ;)

and happy girl day btw! i've been feeling pretty down and blue lately, due to the weather and general physical and emotional malaise, i'm thinking maybe i should make a little doll (since i do that so well), entrust it with all my woes and sorrows and launch it off into lake michigan...

then, with my luck i'd probably get arrested for littering by some CPD on a segway.

thinkin' o' yous...

2008-02-13T21:41:00.007-06:00

happy valentines day!

:)

the very persistent glllbrrt of palomaville

2008-02-04T15:51:00.000-06:00

one of my faaaaaaaaavorite children's book illustrators is lane smith. one of my favorite books that he illustrated is george saunders' the very persistent gappers of frip.

in the book, the town of frip consists of three shacks by the sea inhabited by three families. the ronsens, the romos and a little girl named, capable and her father. the town of frip has been eternally plagued by gappers - orange, baseball sized, burr like things with multiple eyes - who like to attach themselves to goats and shriek happily all day and night. this does not bode well for people who make their living off of goatmilk or goatcheese.

the children of frip spend their waking hours brushing the gappers off the goats, transporting the gappers in gapper bags to a cliff, disposing of the gappers into the sea. but, the gappers (like zombies) simply walk back to the houses on the bottom of the sea to shriek goat havoc again... until one day, a very smart gapper realizes that one house is closer to the sea than the others.... capable's house.

except for people of faith kinda looking like zealots and idiots (admittedly, not too hard in some extreme cases...), i really enjoy this book - the story, the dialogue, the rhythm of the language, and most of all the lovable and hard working character of capable.

apparently, the paloma's favorite part of the whole book is the orange shreiking gappers themselves:

she drew this picture and asked me to make her a gapper whose name is glllbrrt and unlike his frip cousins is blue:

and so i did. (actually, it took me quite a while to make glllbrrt because i didn't have the right color felt or embroidery floss. and finally when i cut him out and started sewing, i kept losing his little spikes...)

btw - i finally opened a teeny tiny store on etsy.com here.

stream of empathy

2008-01-25T10:19:00.000-06:00

since hearing of heath ledger's death, i can't seem to get his former fiance (and the mother of their child, matilda), michelle williams, out of my mind... i really don't know a thing about her - the first and last time i saw her was when she played his young wife on brokeback mountain.

i think i know what it's like getting that kind of news. i can still remember sitting on the floor of my drafty garden apartment, getting the phone call that informed me that my best friend and her sister had died in a fatal car accident. i'll never forget how the world stopped revolving for a moment... how in the middle of a clear, blue september day. it felt frigid and sounded dead as any midwestern day in february.

i can't even imagine how she'll explain his death to their daughter. or how she and matilda will fill such a vast hole in their lives.

i heard that michelle williams was flying to new york from sweden where she's working on a film and i was curious so i headed to imdb.com to seek more info and i found that she's working on a lukas moodysson film called mammoth:

"While on a trip to Thailand, a successful American businessman tries to radically change his life. Back in New York, his wife and daughter find their relationship with their live-in Filipino maid changing around them. At the same time, in the Philippines, the maid's family struggles to deal with her absence"

one of my fave actors, gael garcia bernal, plays the american businessman and michelle williams plays his wife. of course, i was very interested to hear more about this film with filipino actors (marife necesitos and martin de los santos) and the philippines in the storyline. i read somewhere that soon after shooting in sweden, the film crew would be shooting in thailand and the philippines.

and immediately, i remembered a vacation in cebu when i was a teenager... when i met a bunch of australian men on a surfing/diving vacation... who i mistakenly assumed and wrote off as "ugly" americans. after i got over my initial prejudices, they turned out to be very friendly, outgoing, vibrant and funny. and i thought to myself that i should really be less of an ugly american myself and elongate a future trip to the philippines to include a jaunt to australia...

and so i began to wonder if heath ledger had ever been to the philippines, since according to the australian surfers i met, aussies do like to visit the philippines... and i wonder if he had ever visited, if he liked it...

i wondered if the character that michelle williams plays will have to travel to the philipines. i hope she does as there's so much to experience, see and do there... and what if, heath had actually talked about someplace or something in the philippines that might have actually affected him or his perceptions...

which made me think of grace lin, one of my favorite children's book authors, who is sort of live-blogging a trip she's on, travelling thru china. last august, her husband passed away and she mentions her loss and her grief in a recent thoughtful, heartbreaking post on her new blog:

"And it is only from this vantage point, from way above, that I see what Robert had told me about Shanghai. He had called it a modern architect's dream, a city without any rules--allowing an architect to design his/her dream. Shanghai is an enormous hodgepodge of buildings, seemingly built upon eachother. And perhaps because I know how much Robert would have loved to have seen this, it is here that I see how much my life has changed. Faster than I had anticipated, I have created a new life for myself with a future that looks different than expected.

So, strangely, the pangs of grief I suddenly feel are not for myself but for him. It is for all the dreams he had that will not come true, all the plans he made that will not happen and all the things he wanted to see but never will.

I am glad, at least, I will see some of them for him. "

it's been over a decade and i still don't think i'm "fully recovered" from the sudden loss of my dearest friend. i don't think anyone ever really does. sometimes, i feel that her presence follows me around - she's bored out of her mind but still she follows. :) sometimes, days pass and i actually feel a little guilty that i haven't thought about her, when in the early days, she was never out of my mind... not. one. second.

i empathize with grace lin's thoughts and feelings in so many ways.... while i live this "unexpected future" - in all its brilliance and mystery. sometimes, i feel especially guilty that this present even exists for someone like me - who was not as bright, gifted and/or promising as my friend. sometimes, when i'm feeling especially pensive i ask myself what she would have done given a particular situation and find myself actually cracking a smile and supressing a laugh...

i sincerely hope and pray that as they grieve, heath ledger's family and friends will feel some comfort knowing that they are not alone in grieving and that they too will eventually recognize their "unexpected future" as the present and feel at peace.

the legend of snowy hollow

2008-01-22T15:26:00.000-06:00

overnight, it snowed here. a LOT.

before i went to sleep last night, i looked out the window and tried to imagine what today would be like. i don't know if i do this to psyche myself up or out.

i prayed that one of my generous neighbors/fellow preschool parents would offer to drive the paloma to and from school. because as most of you know i don't drive. at all. i walk. which for the most part is fine with me... when i'm by myself. and as 8:25 am rolled around (10 minutes past our normal departure time), i knew we would have to brave the elements.

as you know from experience (or can imagine), walking anywhere with a 4yr old and a 2yr old is difficult. add frigid temperatures, general morning crankiness and layer after layer of acrylic puffiness and/or gender neutral embroidered fleece (more than enough to choke a whale shark) and you could have the making of a perfect tantrum storm - times two - one fully mobile and one strapped to a jogging stroller that i'm struggling to push thru 2" of fresh unshoveled snow...

and then my kids surprise me. as they always do.

a sigh turns into a laugh while i'm being pelted in the head w/ poorly formed snowballs by a laughing paloma. despair turns into pleasure as the porkchop coos and points excitedly at the snowplows and salt trucks grumbling by.

the sun is shining and the sky is clear and blue and my faith in that silver lining bullsh*t is restored.

i present to you our headless snow angel...

oafeelya

2008-01-18T15:08:00.000-06:00

needless to say, all of my sewing has piqued the interest of the paloma who asked me, a few days ago, if i could sew up a monster.

this monster (that she drew):

whose name is "oafeelya" :)

i really didn't think i could do it and yet:

i think i did....

IT'S ALIVE!!!!!!!!

symphony in slang

2008-01-17T22:14:00.000-06:00

days and days later and i'm still thinking and giggling over juno... especially how utterly idiotic i felt when i couldn't figure out what she and her bff were saying during a phonecall...

it reminded me of one of my favorite tex avery cartoons, "symphony in slang". i can't believe i actually found it! i had to share the goodness...

Silly Symphony 'Symphony In Slang' - Watch more amazing videos here

years ago, i actually owned a copy of this and other tex avery gems...

...on laserdisc.

stop.

laughing.

now.

say hello, loopita.

2008-01-16T13:56:00.000-06:00

"hello loopita." she says.

yesserday... while i was finishing sewing up loopita's tail... the paloma looks at me (see HUGE blinking lightbulb over her head) and says, "MOM! when you grown up YOU could be a TOYMAKER! JUST. LIKE. *insert pregnant pause* SANTA!"

to which i should have responded, "child, who do you think taught santa how to shimmy down the chimney?"