It all started about three weeks ago, when my oldest son’s monthly magazine showed up in the mail.  Since this was the May issue, and Mother’s Day is in May, they had a section on something that you could make for mothers, and since my oldest likes to cook (he’s doing really well with breakfasts and thought at one time he’d like to be a chef), he asked if it was something that we could make.

Well, without reading the ingredients or the instructions, I signed on for the task—and expanded it.  He just wanted to make this lemonade drink that used lemon juice and lemon sherbet.  I told him that we should do the cookies as well.

Let’s just say that this was a great theory, not so hot in practice.

When it comes to things to drink, we’re far past thinking that water is the only thing a person needs to survive.  We have milk from a cow (how did we ever figure out we could drink cow’s milk anyway?), carbonated beverages, coffees, teas, sodas, sports drinks and even wellness drinks.

This last category is where we find ourselves this evening. Nopalea is a tasty wellness drink sourced from a cactus.  I mean, I knew they held water for a long time, but I didn’t know that they actually bore fruit!

This fruit is supposed to help you with all softs of inflammation, remove toxins, and taste good as well!

As for my adventure… would you believe that I was not able to find lemon sherbet anywhere?  We eventually gave up and made punch type stuff with berry sherbet, club soda, and some Berry Juicy Juice.  Not as healthy as Nopalea, as tart as lemonade, but it hit the spot.

In the last post, I shared with you the sermon I gave this past Sunday for Mother’s day.  It was a moving message, the first time that I felt emotional while giving one, because I thought about how much our mothers give and think they are giving their children, but also how they often think they are doing well and find that they missed what was truly important.

I have seen far to many families have their children grow up in church and in a Christian school only to find that later on in life the children decide that their parent’s faith will not be their own.

This is part of the reason that Doug Field’s post on Spiritual Maturity hit me so hard, and I read a part of it during the sermon:

I have three children, two of them teenagers, and I want them to be physically fit, adept in social settings, and achieve all they can academically and in other endeavors. But my greatest desire, my biggest prayer, is that they would be spiritually mature. In fact, I am willing to sacrifice their education, their chair in the orchestra, or time on the playing field for them to walk out of my home and into the world prepared to succeed as best as possible.

Some might retort, “My child needs to do well in school or athletics in order to get into a top college. That has to take priority.” Again, hear my heart: I agree that is a valuable priority, but even if your son or daughter gets a full scholarship, unless he or she has the skills and knowledge necessary to overcome peer and intellectual pressure, that scholarship may end up being withdrawn or traded for unhealthy lifestyle choices. I’m all for education, but not at the expense of my children’s mental, emotional, or spiritual health.

Still, I’m a parent who wrestles with priorities, and whether or not my children can skip church this week or next. But I recognize now, more than ever, that the sand in my “kids at home” hourglass is all too quickly running out. I feel the pressure to do everything perfectly so that my kids don’t end up as statistics, don’t get hurt by their choices, and don’t miss out on all God has for them. Of course, perfect parenting is foolish. It’s both a heavy burden and an impossible aspiration. So, I don’t strive for perfection, but the cry of my heart is that I make a right decision…today. And maybe another one tomorrow. How about a few next week?

Priorities must be established for our children, and academic, athletic, or artistic goals have value. But be aware that they will compete with spiritual goals. Recognize the challenge and prepare for a battle, one that seeks to claim the souls of our families.

How about you?  What do your priorities in life teach your kids?

The old saying goes that a woman’s work is never done. In our culture today, she is expected to take care of the home, raise a family and make money. She is supposed to have the finest things money can buy, be connected at the appropriate social outings and serve as a chauffeur to any sporting event that a child wants to attend.

She is expected to be many things, but like Martha of old who was told that Mary chose the best thing, a woman’s greatest calling is often overlooked—the place that she can make the biggest impact in the world is right in her very own home.

The Greatest Calling

All believers are to be doing four things…

Go: The idea is that we are not to become stagnant, but to be going.  It’s a command, it’s not a suggestion.

Make disciples of all nations: Where we are to share the Gospel knows no bounds.  For the early church, this was the call to spread outside of Jerusalem.  For us today, it is that we should be ready to give the Gospel no matter where our life finds us.

Baptize them:  Baptism is important.  Here in the Great Commission we find, again, that it occurs after we have made disciples.

Teach them to observe everything Jesus commanded: It isn’t enough to cover one topic. It isn’t enough to disciple right after they are saved, but we must be continuing to disciple.

Therefore the greatest command of all men and women is to be making disciples.

How does this relate to a woman’s greatest calling?

This command relates to the unmarried woman as much as anyone.  It’s also a reminder to men (as most of today’s sermon will be) that it is our calling as well.

To the Married Woman before Children (Ephesians 5:22-33)

One of the first things that we find in this passage is that the wife is to submit and respect her husband.  This is something that takes practice.  It’s not something automatic.  If it were, there would be no need for a command!

Creating good communication habits is the best thing that a couple can do before kids.  Having a good relationship with your spouse before kids is a great way to give children something they desperately need, an example of a committed relationship.

The husband is to love his wife.  It goes without saying that this should not be a one way street, yet each of these commands is given out of love for one another—an agape love.  That means that these things should be practice regardless of whether the partner is doing what they are supposed to be doing.

The two are to be one flesh.  Just as you wouldn’t separate yourself from your arm, you should not be separated from your spouse.  You two are together to meet each other’s needs.

The Married women without children in her home must still be at the work of making disciples.  Many use this time to learn more about their spouse. The temptation is there to waste away time.  For me, I found that I have never watched so much television before the kids arrived.

We should give of the strength of our youth, to serve others.  There is much work to be done in the house of the Lord. Just as Paul believed the single individual could spend more time in Christ’s service, the young married team can do the same.

To The Married Woman With Children (Deuteronomy 6:4-9)

The greatest impact you’ll ever have in the world will be through your children.  Consider: very few men or women will ever gain fame, and yet every mom sends forth to the next generation children that carry their imprint.

We are reaping, in this society, the results of a generation who left the raising of their children to a state that is decreasingly Christian in nature.  Our children, our most valuable asset, are being turned away from the Scripture and taught to challenge it at the public school. It’s not just in the science classes, where the foundation of the Bible is undermined by the theory of Evolution. It’s in the choices of books to read in English, the language and disrespect they see others have to teachers, the revisions that are done to History, and the removal of the teaching of the Bible and the conversations in the hall. 

The reason for the moral decay today is that our children no longer have the foundation that they once had.  At one point in our country’s history, we brought even public school kids up on the Bible. Today, it’s practically forbidden.

Parents are instructed in Deut 6:4-9 to be constantly teaching their kids the Scriptures and reminding them of God. Where can you fit that in?

It’s more than just ignorance of Bible doctrine; it’s the lack of seeing Christ lived out in lives because of programming.  We want to give our kids everything, but could we wind up withholding the most needful thing?

Your best area of success in reaching the lost for Christ sits around your dinner table. Your children, your spouse and your family are the ones most likely to be influenced directly by your testimony. Your children are beings that will last into eternity.

Your life is constantly watched. You may get things done, but how are you doing them?  You have priorities, but are they reflected in your choices…

• How do you spend your down time?
• Have you shared Christ in front of your children?
• How do you react when you’re frustrated or mad?

We all fail, do we allow forgiveness?

To The Married Woman After Kids (Titus 2:3-5)

You should be discipling the next generation.  As anyone matures in their Christian faith, they should be reproducing that faith in other believers.

This means taking time and investing it in sharing God’s Word.

As kids are gone, your life should not simply be about the newfound “free time” but upon redeeming the time.

Older women are asked to teach, especially to teach the younger women specific things:

• What is Good
• Train women to love their husbands and children.  This means that it’s not always automatic, and that it is not always easy.
• To be self-controlled
• To be pure
• To work at home
• To be kind
• To be submissive to their husbands.

Why? So the Word of God may not be reviled. Notice that most of these have nothing to do with doctrine as with practical Christian living. Also notice that these actions have to do with a woman’s testimony and reflection on the Word of God. All of these things are things God wants us to do.

The command to make disciples did not end after the children left.  You should still be witnessing. Maybe not in the same way, but we are never to stop giving the Gospel.

Both of my grandfathers, as they got older, thought less of what others thought of them, and were able to be more open in what they said.  As we care less about what the world thinks, sharing Christ should be easier!

You should still be making disciples.  Paul was constantly investing his life in others, be it Silas, Timothy, or Luke.

Who, of the next generation, are you investing your life into?

There is no concept in the Bible of the Christian’s work being done before the Lord calls us home.

Conclusion

There’s always a command, for every generation and at every developmental stage to be reaching others, and while the focus and the audience may change, it’s something that we need to be growing in constantly.

A Woman’s Greatest Calling is a Christian’s Greatest Calling—to put God first, to reach the lost, and to disciple those that come along so that we may all follow Him.

How are we doing?

My mother-in-law always wants to help people, and she is now pursuing a way that she can help.  She’s studying to be a naturopath.  These people try to research the body and natural remedies, believing that the body will both tell what it needs and react as well to natural treatments as well as to prescription medication.

In my book, this would go along with chiropractic medicine and dieticians that try to correct the problems that bodies have based on their understanding of joints, muscles and reflexes.

To be honest, I believe that our bodies are more adaptable, and would provide more information that we give it credit.  At the same time, I know that we would not be where we are today against many diseases without modern medicine.

That being the case, I don’t mind writing about Nopalea, a wellness drink made from the fruit of the Nopal cactus (Opuntia Ficus Indica).  The main function this drink serves is to reduce inflammation due to health problems.  Inflammation is the reason for the high temperature that we call fever and it is one of the body’s main lines of defense against microscopic invaders.

You can try this drink for free (though you have to pay $9.95 for shipping) with a call to 1-800-203-7063.

Sadly, such a solution does not exist. Bad things happen to good people. The first step to helping your friend in the hospital is to stop moping and feeling sorry for them and take action. There is a time to express sorrow to your hospitalized friend, but keep in mind that having a positive attitude can greatly aid a sick person’s recovery. At the very least, your hospitalized friend can laugh and perhaps forget that her situation is so unfortunate.

Take note of what has already been done

When you visit your friend’s hospital room, are there ten floral arrangements and five gift baskets? If so, why add to the clutter? Instead, consider what your friend would appreciate most: perhaps a favorite book that only you know he likes, or bring your laptop in with that one of his favorite feel-good movies. Your friend’s nurse can be a great resource, and so can Online Nursing Classes.

Listen

Remember: visiting your friend in the hospital should not be about you and your guilt because it is them and not you. Your visit should be about comforting the sick or injured friend. In order to do this, you will need to listen. Just like any conversation, try to pick up on the verbal and non-verbal cues the sick or injured friend gives you. Also, be prepared to just be quiet with your friend; your presence alone may be the best medicine.

Be optimistic, but also realistic

It might be a good idea to educate yourself on your friend’s injury or illness. Knowing what your friend faces will make everything about your presence and concern more sincere–and thus more helpful. Since you probably care a lot about the person, it is important for your own well-being to understand the situation. Expecting to have a friendly conversation with someone after they experience severe head-trauma relating to a head-on collision is optimistic, but unrealistic. A visit to an unconscious victim in intensive-care may be more of a gesture of respect rather than a real visit. Talk to the nurse, or visit onlinenursingschool.net to learn to become a nurse yourself!

For more ideas about how to help friends in the hospital, check out the following resources.

• restministries.org – a very thorough resource including former hospital patients observations, likes, and dislikes based on their experience in the hospital.
• tsbvi.edu – a straightforward and helpful guide to helping a hospitalized friend.

The arrival of our fifth bundle of joy this past February made me realize that there’s always something that I can learn, and How We Love Our Kids: The Five Love Styles of Parenting was a book that I was interested in because of the Christian authors and the fact that I believe that we can always improve how we show our love to our kids.

The book starts out with a set of parenting styles, believing that the key to understanding how to love our kids is by understanding how we were loved as a child.  One of the best things I gleaned from the book is that it is my job as a parent to not only identify who my child is and what his triggers are, but to help them identify them and how to cope with them.  This must start with an honest evaluation of yourself.

The downside of this book is that, I believe, it spends way too much time analyzing things from a psychological perspective and not enough time dealing with people from a Biblical perspective.  Let me try to get more specific…

There are many times where the authors will go into complete detail about how someone could become a vacillator, controller, avoider, pleaser, or victim parent and they pin all of this on how that person’s parents raised them.  The solution to the problem is not to look to Christ, but to seek help in group counseling (which, they state, can be through a church group).  Their solutions to many of the problems is group counseling.

Another problem I’ve had with the book is that in some places it is implied that the appropriate way to show love to a child is to let them make decisions.  Now, to an extent this may be a valid idea, but this can also get out of hand because there is a time where the parent must make the decision and the child must obey the decision.  I’ve found that when you continually let kids make a lot of decisions, they tend to believe that they have options even when they do not.  Things have to be age appropriate.

On the whole, I’d recommend this book, because it provides a good deal of introspection.  It encourages you, as a parent, to look at your parenting styles, and to read from your kids how they are reacting to them.  As the book proclaims “more is caught than taught.”  However, I would have you keep in mind that though this book pays lip service to Christianity (until chapter 22 and 24) and is much more slanted toward psychology.

I received a copy of this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.  The review is all mine.

When I got married to my lovely wife, Virtuous Blonde, back in 2001 I had all four grandparents at the wedding.  Today, I only have one grandparent left—my maternal grandfather.

I have yet to lose someone in my immediate family to death, and yet, by reading this book I can better empathize with those that have lost a loved one.

I believe that the part of this book that struck me the most enlightening was the idea that we mourn because of change—as humans we don’t like change even though we are in an ever changing world.  We don’t like the finality, and being forced to come to terms with the fact that our life has changed and will continue to change and go on without the person that was once an integral part of our life.

White argues that we must go through grief with hope in order to be able not to be engulfed in despair.  We cannot put off dealing with grief, and it is a process.

He concludes with some very practical advice about some of the pitfalls that will come in the following months and years—how to prepare for that first anniversary, holiday, etc.

Overall, I believe this is a great book and would recommend it to anyone who knows someone who is going through the grieving process—either as a gift, or as an aid as you try to comfort them through the process.

The author then states that Jesus is like the first dancer shown in the video, and that we are all to be followers, and the first person that stands up is a follower.

With that in mind, I was pretty excited about the book, believing that it would be a lot about how the leadership style of worship is backwards and we really should be followers.  Unfortunately, what I kept expecting and looking for never really materialized.

It always seemed, as I read the book, as if right around the corner I was going to get some kind of illustration of exactly how a church that wanted to practice a followership mentality would be arranged.  I guess I wanted a blueprint, and what I found instead was a whole lot of quotes from everyone from Gandhi to Mother Theresa.

Don’t get me wrong, the main thrust of the book I’m totally in tune with.  I can see, in myself, where I have desired to have a clear hierarchical format in my church so that I knew who reported to whom, such that I had forgotten that he who wishes to lead should be a servant.  But I didn’t need a whole book for that.

I think that perhaps part of this escapes me because I’m not deep enough into contemporary mega-churches and their conferences.  Much of what’s written here alludes to these conferences, and perhaps the missing puzzle piece.  I wish that the author would have spent more time illustrating what “followership” would look like as compared to “leadership” and less time building his case.

For that reason, I’m not sure that I can recommend this one as it’s full of a lot of nice sounding titles but after reading them I’m left wondering “what am I missing” rather than being inspired to do something—anything!

I received a copy of this book for free from BookSneeze on condition of a review.  The review is entirely my own.

In the meantime, feel free to read and comment and kick the tires.

When you look at the girl that you married, does she look blurry to you?  Those beautiful blue eyes, are they sharp and clear to you?  Perhaps it’s not that you just woke up and maybe you need a new pair of glasses.

Valentine’s Day is a great time of year to pick up a pair of glasses—give the gift of vision.  Believe it or not, it’s much more affordable than you could ever believe!

Right now you can pick up $6.95 prescription eyeglasses from Zenni Optical, can you imagine that?  How much did your last set of glasses cost?  I’m betting, before insurance, it was over $100.

What could you do with an extra set of eyeglasses?  Could you have a set in your car?  Leave a set at work as well as at your home?  I find that this is the most annoying aspect of wearing glasses for those of us that are short sighted is remembering to bring your glasses when you don’t have to wear them.  Having another set would be a lifesaver in these circumstances.

What’s neat is that with so many different frames that you could choose from as well as such a low price, you could have a different set for every holiday as well as have a pair for every day of the week!

So what are you waiting for?  Go over and check out the amazing selection at Zenni Optical—you will not be disappointed.