Maan Got Married

August? What August?

2012-09-11T13:57:00.002+08:00

I can’t believe August just went by without a single post and it wasn’t a boring month take note, far far from that.

August 24 Mama went through another Mastectomy. Yep, another cyst was found in her left breast and she opted to just have the whole organ removed. I was scared, scared for her, for us. I was plain mind numbingly scared, period. To make myself feel better I desperately tried to remember her operation last year, trying to remember if I was this scared and if so what I did to calm myself but for the life of me I cant seem to remember that I was this scared last year, ugh.

Thankfully James kept trying to calm down and though I kept repeating the same sentiments over and over about every other day, three weeks before the operation (can you just imagine how irritating I must have been?), and he just kept on telling me that everything was gonna be okay. (Thank you God for my husband!)

Ironically, come operation day I was calm. Yep, after weeks of being scared and worried to bits, crazy huh? I don’t know, somehow I felt that everything really is gonna be alright (maybe because James kept repeating this every other day for three weeks and it finally sank in. LOL) Surprisingly the operation didn’t take too long, last year it was about 3 hours and this time they were finishing up an hour and a half after they started and yes, it was successful. The worries did not end there though because we still had to wait for the biopsy results but somehow I knew deep inside that whatever the results may be, we’ll get through it.

A week after the surgeon declared the lump benign (non-cancerous). Yey for us but we waited a week more for the oncologist to look over the results and thankfully she said the same thing. *happy dance*

See how eventful my August was? All that and I failed to blog about it? Boo for me. Oh well, as I always say better late than later. Hahaha. : )

To everyone who reached out to us in this trying time, on behalf of our family I would like to express how truly thankful we are. If not for your prayers and words of encouragement, we would not have been as strong. I especially appreciate those who took the time to text or call for updates. In this day and age, anyone could just go online and wait for my status updates in Facebook or Twitter, thus I truly, truly appreciate those who made an extra effort to reach out to us personally.

Not that I am discounting those who made their well wishes known in Facebook, I am extremely grateful for that as well. All prayers are welcome. It’s just that I am truly, truly touched by those who actually took the time to check on Mama, to check on Papa, to check on me and James and did not just rely on whatever Facebook status I posted. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

“25 Things I learned In My 20s” - Part 1

2012-07-23T08:13:00.002+08:00

I chanced upon this article entitled “25 Things I learned In My 20s” and there were a couple of points that hit me hard. I was hoping I could write them all in one post but time and inspiration is not on my side. At the rate that I have been writing, I'd be probably be able to publish this by early next year. hahaha. So I thought I'd just post them one by one. Here goes..

“ The rumors are true: your metabolism does slow down as you get older! That means if you’re still eating whatever you want, there’s a good chance you’ll start to gain an awkward amount of weight. It won’t be too drastic but your clothes will start to hang differently on your body and you’ll feel an overall feeling of unattractiveness. Start to be conscious of what you eat and strive to live a healthier lifestyle if you want to get your teen body back. (Let’s be real though, that might not ever come back.)”

I’ll go ahead and admit that I am very much insecure about my weight. I try to be nonchalant about it but deep inside I'm a big hunk of insecurity. In my late teens and around my early twenties, I’ve been so obsessed about gaining weight. Seriously. I've done slimming pills (bad, I know), excercise, no rice diet, etc. It clearly doesn't help that I have an extra sweet and salty tooth plus I am much too lazy to even bother exercising (not to mention these fabulous genes I’ve been blessed with). LOL.

But aside from my snail-paced metabolism, these days I’ve been noticing that my figure doesn’t really bother me as much as it used to. I mean, I dont like that other people point out that I’ve gained weight (ugh, this irritates the heck out of me!!note to people: commenting about a person's weight over and over and over again is RUDE.), but when I’m alone and I look at myself in the mirror, I actually like what I see.

I like that I'm curvy (nope, not really a fan of stick thin girls. no offense, just a personal preference), I like that I have hips and boobs and an ass (the husband agrees. hahaha). In short, I actually like my body now even if it probably wouldnt hurt to lose about 10-15 pounds. It's so weird that this is coming from somebody who was super obsessed about losing weight a couple of years ago but hey, maybe acceptance comes with age? (oh no! Does that mean I’m old???) hahaha.

I really just hope the people around me (hello relatives! *wave*) would stop with the weight comments. HELLO! I'm not obese, duh. plus even if I was, it's still RUDE.

J+M Crazy Chronicles

2012-07-20T15:05:00.002+08:00

We've been married for almost three years now (but technically we've only been living together for almost two) and it has been crazy, I tell ya! But nope, I wouldnt have it any other way. We're not always lovey dovey, we're not the sweetest couple in the whole universe but I love, love our silly, crazy moments. One time I asked him: "Hon ganito kaya talaga magusap lahat ng mag-asawa sa buong mundo?" He said: "Hindi, tayo lang. Baliw ka kasi. KEI FINE!! hahaha. :)

Let me share with you a little bit of our craziness:

Crazy Moment #1

Background Story: We were both too lazy to switch off the lights as it involves getting up from bed to actually switch them off. (laziness personified)

Maan: Hon, paki patay yung ilaw please.

James: Ikaw na hon, antok na ko e.

Maan: Hon ikaw na antok na din ako e.

*James nagtulugtulugan..*

Maan: (bright idea! ding ding ding ding!!) Hon, hala ka may ipis! (with matching talon na parang takot na takot) Patayin mo dali!!

James: (tayo din bigla) Asan, asan??

Maan: Andun, andun! Dun sa may switch ng ilaw!

James: (nagpunta sa may switch may hawak na tsinelas, ready to kill) Asan?

Maan: Pakipatay yung ilaw. K. Thanks. Bwahahahahahaha...

--
Crazy Moment #2

Maan: (kagagaling lang ng CR) Hon, namiss mo ba ko?

James: Ha, bakit naman? Magkasama kaya tayo o.

Maan: Kasi nag CR ako e. nyahahahaha.

--
Crazy Moment #3

Background Story: James hates, HATES watching local movies sa sinehan. He tolerates DVDs pero never pag sa sinehan. But miracle of miracles, napapayag ko sya to watch No Other Woman. After the movie, while on our way out:

* James nagkukusot ng mata. Inantok ata sa sinehan.

Maan: (in a really, really loud voice. loud enough for the rest of the moviegoers to hear) Uy hon ano ka ba! wag ka nga umiyak, sine lang yun! Ok lang yan! (sabay tapik sa balikat)

Bwaahahahaa! I swear he was so shocked, he wasnt able to react agad. Afterwards he kept giving me the evil eye and I almost died laughing the whole day. ahahaha.

--
Crazy Moment #4

Background Story: We were watching Walang Hanggan, the scene was Nathan was about to commit suicide because his wife, Katerina left him.

Maan: Hon, wag ka mag gaganyan ha. Hindi naman kita iiwan e.

James: Ewan ko sayo.

nyahahahaha.

--

Oh my gosh, writing these out made me realize na ako nga ata talaga ang baliw. hahahaha. Here's to love and craziness!! <3

Cuteness!!

2012-07-20T13:16:00.003+08:00

This is too cute!! :)

My Stick Family from WiddlyTinks.com

10 Years

2012-06-21T06:33:00.003+08:00

3,650 days, 120 months, 10 years. TEN YEARS.

I honestly cannot wrap my head around the idea that it has been 10 years already. June 05 2002, well technically June 4 but it was near midnight and we thought 5 was a better number. LOL. The days flew by so fast but now that I look back so much has happened. We have been on this never-ending roller coaster ride of ups and downs and I cherish every moment of it.

Crazy how back then I didn’t even think it will last this long or that the relationship would eventually lead to marriage. I mean I know James was a keeper but I was very realistic. He was after all my first boyfriend and basing it on my friends, first boyfriends don’t usually last. Well, I guess somebody up there wanted to prove me wrong, lucky me. :D

James is my everything. He’s my rock and my strength. He literally keeps me sane. I even appreciate that he drives me crazy sometimes (okay a lot of times) because it allows me to learn more about him, about us, about myself. I always say this and I will never get tired of saying this: our relationship is not perfect but it is our kind of perfect.

I could go on and on about this but my words will never be enough. I just feel so blessed to have James in my life. People keep telling me it’s time to have kids, but if they even have an idea on just how perfect everything is right at this very moment, then they’d probably agree with us that we’re perfectly fine as is. =)

I love you hon, always. 10 years to forever..

My Future Baby: Samsung WB150F

2012-04-30T09:15:00.002+08:00

Meet my future baby (yes I'm claiming it! hahaha..)

Samsung WB150F

Features And Specifications:

Point & shoot digital camera

14.0 megapixel image sensor

Schneider KREUZNACH 18x optical zoom lens

Optical image stabilization system

720p HD video recording Samsung WB150F 30 Fps

3.0 inch AMOLED monitor

Motion capture

Smart auto

Live panorama

Auto back-up

Remote view finder

WiFi connectivity

Micro SD/SDHC/SDXC memory card slot

Built-in microphone & speaker

Integrated flash light

Self timer

Face & smile detection

Yep, Wi-Fi enabled!!! Fell in love with the white one but it also comes in black. To top it off, it's less than 15K!!! love it! :D we will meet soon my baby! :D

Life Dreams

2012-04-23T15:09:00.003+08:00

I know I’ve already posted about my 2012 Bucket List but lately I’ve been thinking more of long-term planning. Oh well, a girl can dream right? So here goes:

1. Build a house

Lately I’ve been surfing about buying lots and building homes. I’ve stalked websites about furniture, light fixtures, etc. I’m not really sure how this came about but for the past couple of weeks the thought of owning a house, our own house has occupied my daydreams. It’s freaking expensive and I’m not sure if my salary can afford it (I have not even dared compute as it might burst my bubble. LOL) but I promised myself that someday, somehow we will have our own house. We initially planned to build the house before getting married but reality bites I guess. Probably it was a blessing in disguise as shuttling between Parañaque and Las Piñas has allowed us to spend more time with our parents, which is great but still it wouldn’t hurt to build our own home.

2. Have our own business

One constant dream of ours is to open our own business in the food industry. We both love to eat and cook thus it makes perfect sense for us to want to open our own restaurant or a catering business, somewhere along that line. We don’t have enough funds for this yet plus I think passion is not enough to sustain a business. We need to study and gain experience first before diving in. When we will find the time and the money to do this, I don’t know but hopefully soon.

3. Travel

I’m happiest when I am at home and I very rarely go out. But there’s something about exploring another place that excites the heck out of me. I’m not very sociable so it’s not really about meeting other people. I think for me it’s more of travelling with James and getting to share travel memories with him. Yep, it’s as shallow as that. Hahaha.

So that’s about it for now, I’ll just update it over time.

If you’ll notice having kids or starting a family is not included in the list and I know a normal person would wonder why. I’ve actually been thinking about it again lately but I have come to the conclusion that no, I don’t want kids as of this moment. James doesn’t want to have kids either, at least not now.

Yes I know people are gonna raise their eyebrows so high they’ll probably hit the ceiling and yes I know there’s a big, huge possibility we won’t be able to have kids if we delay this but please keep in mind that this is our life we’re talking about. Key words: OUR LIFE. We made the decision and we’re ready to face the consequences, whatever they may be.

To be perfectly honest, I really don’t want to have kids just because society dictates me to have them. I feel we are not yet ready financially, physically and emotionally so why push it? Why get yourself into something you are not ready for? When I got married I was 100% ready to be a wife but right at this very moment I am not yet ready to become a mom. Yes, I can change my mind, that’s the beauty of life but for now our decision stands, so I hope you'll be happy for us just like we're very much happy right now. :)

our Holy Week in Instagram

2012-04-21T08:34:00.000+08:00

I was intially planning on blogging about our "vacation" but since I'm all out of words and energy, I thought of recreating the experience through photos, enter INSTAGRAM. :)

My great grandmother's name is Magdalena
and mama had a Mary Magdalene statue
made in her memory. She goes out every year
during Holy Week to join the processions. Here's
Tita Jane dressing her up for Day 1.

Procession - Good Friday

Kalibo Paparazzi LOL! :D

Here she is with her pink gown. We usually
change the feel of her carriage every year
through the flowers. She also has about
2-3 more gowns in storage plus a handful of
jewelry and crowns.

After Aklan, we went by bus to Iloilo.
A sure sign that we already arrived?
Sugarcane Juice! love love! :)

This has got to be the best Inasal in Iloilo,
a far departure from the commercialized
Mang Inasal, seriously!!

Meet Butit and Bogart. They're the sweetest! <3

Beautiful Iloilo

I saw a rainbow!

Can you spot his manpurse? bwahahaha! :D

Sigh, it was fun but like all vacations, definitely bitin! will have to go back soon!

busy, busy, busy

2012-04-02T10:12:00.000+08:00

I can feel it, yep it’s gonna be a super busy week for me and the fam bam this week. Holy Friday, we’re going home to Aklan for the Holy Week and then come Easter Sunday, James and I would ride the bus (yep the bus!) to Iloilo so we can spend time with his side of the family as well. This trip alone can easily fill up my Monday until Thursday what with all the packing and travel arrangements that I would need to check and double check. However the thing is, I am equally busy with work as well and it will be a miracle if I am able to pull off everything I need to do before we leave. Waaaah.

Not that I am complaining though. I do love my job and yes it is eons, yep EONS away from my previous post. It’s scary at times because I have a boatload of responsibilities on my shoulders but the mere opportunity excites me. Lately I realized that I haven’t really talked about my work on this blog, well not as much as my previous jobs before, probably because well one, I know for a fact that they’re very strict with the confidentiality clause so I can’t just go ahead and blab my head off (not that I have anything to blab about). Two, I’m so busy as it is that I barely have enough time for recreational activities and stuff (i.e. movie dates, cooking, etc.) that I usually save my weekends for those. And three, I don’t know, as I said, I guess I just don’t feel the need to voice out anything about my work as of the moment. I’m happy, it’s as simple as that.

Cancer-wise, well treatments are still ongoing. The schedule now is every three weeks and thank God there have been no complications. Yey! I’m still anxious about whether there are still cancer cells or not but as the doctor said, we should just take it one day at a time. So yeah, I guess that’s what we’re doing. :)

Oops, I just realized I haven’t blogged about our Hong Kong plans, um, maybe next time. Hahaha.

I want a Kindle Fire!

2012-03-26T09:36:00.001+08:00

Aaaaaaaak! I want, I want, I want!!!! Er, but probably not this year as we're still saving up for our Hong Kong Trip, which I have yet to blog about, sigh. but I WAAAAAAAAAAANT!

curls curls curls..

2012-03-05T08:43:00.002+08:00

whew. my posts have been pretty heavy lately. time for some fluff! ;) my hair has always been a point of contention for me. i love my waves, not really a big fan of super straight hair but then again i'm too lazy to fix my hair so I end up with really dry and frizzy hair, ugh!

I've actually been contemplating of getting a digiperm but I'm a still a tiny bit afraid I might end up looking like a poodle. LOL. :D So for now, I'm just happy that I finally found a hairstylist who actually knows how to curl my hair the way I want it! :D (of course I had to include an instagram edited photo. hahaha..)

Keeping It Private

2012-02-29T15:34:00.001+08:00

Lately I’ve been toying with the idea of making this blog private. Most of the things I write here (not that I’ve been blogging much lately) are so personal, most of them I’ve never even discussed with my family, my friends, some I’ve not even discussed with my husband. But then again it’s not like a lot of people have been reading this anyway plus if questioned or confronted, I know I can stand by whatever thoughts or opinions I’ve shared here. So I guess for the meantime I’ll keep this public, I don’t have anything to hide anyway. J

Faith in Progress

2012-02-26T22:13:00.003+08:00

I am Catholic. My family, friends, neighbors, everyone around me are devout Catholics. I was raised in an environment where people pray before meals and it's a must to attend mass every single week, where you have to serve in church and take part in all the activities. I grew up in a family where my lola heads the Parish Pastoral Council,where my mom is a lector and my dad is a lay minister. Heck, I even married a guy who's part of the choir and is keen on attending each and very single church event.

So with all these around me, people would expect I am a devout Catholic myself. Well, no I am not. The past few years I have been struggling with my faith. (It's a long story why and would practically entail another blog post). Yes, I do pray, in fact I pray every single day. But do I go to mass? Not so much the past few years. Do I serve? I want to, but apparently I am ineligible to do so. Why? Because I am struggling with my faith.

Apparently, for you to be able to serve, you have to be in mass every single Sunday and you have to "show" people that you are a devout Catholic at all given times. When I toyed with the idea of serving, I was under the impression that God accepts everyone, even those like me who are currently in a limbo with regards to their faith. I was hoping serving would change how I currently feel about Catholicism in general, I was hoping through serving I could bring back my faith.

Well, apparently, I don't even have the chance to find out if these are even possible because I was told today that if I want to serve, I have to show up every single time even on days when I don't feel like I am worthy to go to mass. You see for me, going to mass isn't a chore, something you tick off your to do list just so everyone around you can say wow you're such good person, you go to mass religiously. No for me, praying, serving and going to mass is something you do because you really want to, because in your heart of hearts you really want to and not just because the society thinks you should.

It broke my heart to know that I can't even serve on days when my intentions are pure and my faith is strong just because I refuse to do the same on days when I don't feel I have the same level of faith and intensions. I just don't see the point of being there if all I can think about while in mass is how much I hate it when the priest starts disucssing fundraising for the church during homily or how much it irritates when I start hearing the supposedly religious people talk ill of others behind their backs.

I want to go to mass to pray and talk to God, not to think ill of others and definitely not to just show people I am religious. And that is why I am very much wary about going to church on days when I know I won't be able to focus that time solely to the Lord. I just don't see the point of being there just so I can claim oh I go to mass every single week. So anyway I've always thought God understands my point, well because he is God. I believe He loves me for who I am and he will always have a place for me in his home. Apparently this is not true according to the religious and that in order to have a place in God's arms, you have to be there every single week whether your intentions are pure or not.

For the normal person, I guess that's fairly easy, you just have to show up and you're practically an angel in everyone's eyes. But for people like me, who believes in quality over quantity, who believes that going to mass entails pure intentions, who believes that praying isn't a mere responsibility but in fact a blessing, the whole you-can-only-serve-if-you-come-here-every-week idea is basically equivalent of telling me that I don't deserve God's love because I don't go to mass every single Sunday. It's just sad because I have always thought God appreciates every single form of service and prayer and if I am to believe what I was told today, then apparently I made a mistake.

Yes my faith is a work in progress and no I am not ashamed to say that because I know in my heart of hearts, I am just being real. I am being me. Maybe someday I'll be able to push through these walls and I can once again say my faith is completely but as of the moment I choose to pray when I can honestly say I am truly praying and not just because the society dictates I do so.

Note: I know my views are hard to understand, precisely why I rarely share them, but the thing is I don't push my own beliefs to other people, I respect their own thoughts and opinions, all these in hopes that they bestow me the same respect and courtesy.

BEWARE of BUYANIHAN and MARCO AVENTANADO (AVENTAJADO) of CATALYST REVOLUTION INC!

2012-01-23T09:19:00.004+08:00

We went to Resorts World to watch The Sound of Music, which we got tickets from BUYANIHAN only to find out the8PM show got moved by BUYANIHAN and this MARCO AVENTADO of CATALYST REVOLUTION INC to 2PM without even informing us buyers! We also found out that this 8PM show has long been moved in lieu of 2 Cellos also from this Marco Aventado and nobody from your office even informed us! WHAT KIND OF SERVICE IS THAT?

We even got an email confirmation from JIEGGARDMATE YARANON, last 01/18/2012 who confirmed our seats and he also did not inform us about the change. Your voucher indicated redemption would be on the 20th STARTING at 12 NOON, we were there 5PM and NOBODY was there.

Dear Buyanihan,

I demand a full refund and no I would not accept Buyanihan credits as I have no plans of buying from your site after the hassle and the humiliation your company has put us through. I strongly suggest you action on this immediately or you would hear from DTI and our lawyers.

p.s.
No, I have no intentions of taking down this post until this matter is resolved.

Maan

edit:
Found thisLinkedIn profile, it seems Marco Aventanado (indicated on the voucher) is actually Marco Aventejado:

UPDATE 01/24/2012:

Spoke with Mackie D. of Buyanihan, she told me they were only informed that the show got moved 4PM the same day, which I find a bit hard to believe as Resorts World told us it has long been moved. Anyway, as of the moment, they have yet to discuss whether they would provide us another set of vouchers or they would credit back the payment. Will wait for feedback within 48 hours. We'll see.

UPDATE: FEB 2012
We got the refund! Thanks Mackie of Buyanihan, you're very efficient, a hard find these days! :)

2012 Bucket List

2012-01-09T14:25:00.006+08:00

I know I haven’t been back since, uh, I can’t even remember. LOL. I’ve been so busy lately, okay scratch that, I’ve just basically been too tired to write. Yep, that’s my lame excuse. Hahaha. So much has happened the past few weeks I can’t even recall them all, but I do have one gigantic news: I HAVE A NEW JOB. No, I didn’t plan for this. The opportunity came out of nowhere and here I am and yes, I am very much happy. :)

So it’s 2012 already and I thought maybe I should make a list of the things I want to do, the places I want to go to or go back to, that sort of thing. It started out as a very, very short list and now it’s about a mile long. Hahaha. With my schedule, I know I probably won’t be able to do all of them but I think it would be nice to look back at this list one year after and see what I have accomplished. So here goes:

GOALS:

1. ~~Invest in mutual funds / stock market~~

2. Start a retirement fund for mama and papa

3. ~~Open BPI save up~~

4. Start exercising at least once a week

5. Travel

6. ~~Start a business with James~~

7. Get promoted / ~~get a raise~~

8. Save 30,000 by end of the year

9. Eat 1 fruit / Vegetable a day

10. ~~Watch plays~~

11. Watch concerts

BOOK LIST:

1. Percy Jackson -2

2. Percy Jackson – 3

3. Percy Jackson – 4

4. Percy Jackson – 5

5. Before Ever After

6. Order of the Penguins

7. 100 Questions Filipino Kids Ask

8. Dreaming of Chanel – Charlotte Smith

9. The Best of Archie Comics

10. ~~Hunger Games – 1~~

11. ~~Hunger Games – 2~~

12. ~~Hunger Games – 3~~

13. Falling Together

14. Fashion + Food – Jenni Epperson

15. Modelland – Tyra Banks

16. Seriously I’m Kidding – Ellen DeGeneres

17. Steve Jobs

18. Eat This Not That

19. Battle Hym of the Tiger Mother

20. Bobbi Brown MakeUp Manual

21. The Happiness Project

22. ~~My Maid Invests in the Stock Market~~

23. ~~between loss and forever~~

RESTAURANTS TO TRY:

1. ~~Cibo~~

2. John and Yoko

3. Chili’s

4. Red Box

5. Bulgogi Brothers

6. Myron’s Place

7. ~~Wee Nam Kee~~

8. ~~Manang’s Chicken~~

9. Sugi

10. Choto Stop

11. Recipes by Cafe Metro

12. Krazy Garlik

13. King One Hot Pot

14. Flapjacks

~~15. Baja Mexican Cantina~~

16. Kimpura

17. Fish and Co.

18. Hossein’s

19. ~~Chicken Charlie~~

20. Shawarma Snack Center

21. Cafe Mary Grace

~~22. Tender Bob’s~~

23. Bellevue Buffet

24. Wooden Horse Steakhouse

25. Vivere Rooftop

26. binondo food wok

27. mr.kebab

28. whistlestop
29.~~8065 Bagnet~~
~~30. TongYang~~

PLACES TO SEE / COME BACK TO:

1. Baguio

2. La Luz

3. Bohol

4. Ilocos

5. Boracay

6. Hong Kong

7. Singapore

8. Bangkok

9. Davao (Maxima by the Sea, Pearl Farm)

10. Batanggas

11. Guimaras (Kenyama Resort)

12. Concepcion Iloilo

13. Siquijor

14. Biri, Northern Samar

15. Palaui Island and Anguib Beach, Cagayan North

16. LaMesa Ecopark

17. Sumilon Island – Cebu

18. Calao Caves

19. Sonia’s Garden

See, told ya it's long but a girl can dream right? Have a great New Year everyone! :)

p.s.

If you'll notice having a baby is not on my list. Wondering why? Well because I'm declaring my 2012 as the year of fun: no pressure, no worries. :) let's do this!

starting anew

2011-10-22T05:19:00.000+08:00

So I haven’t been back here for weeks now (surprise, surprise). It has just been really crazy on my side of the earth.

As most may now know, I have resigned from my current job and will be transferring to another company by November 14. This was truly unexpected. I have thought of leaving for about more times than I can count but I’ve never acted on it primarily because I was scared. But I guess somebody up there had other plans. The opportunity landed on my lap and I grabbed it like I’ve never grabbed anything before, and yes it paid off, yippee. :)

I have about three weeks left with my current company and I must admit leaving is kind of bittersweet. It’s definitely not easy leaving something that has been ingrained into your system for the past four years but hey, we all have to move on at some point and I guess this is my time. I’m scared about starting anew but I just feel it’s really time for me to move on.

James is now on his last week (yes he resigned as well). He’ll be starting his food business as soon as we get the money from his insurance. As much as I am nervous about the whole risk aspect, I am so excited for him. His dreams are slowly coming into reality and for that I am extremely ecstatic for him. :)

on the cancer front: Mama is doing well. Yey! It’s a bit tough at times, especially with the weekly chemo sessions, but our main goal is to get through this and I believe we will. We are on the road to recovery and yes, we will get through this. Cancer begone! I am a little worried about the finances though, but I am praying the Lord will provide. haay.

32nd Manila International Book Fair

2011-09-24T21:03:00.002+08:00

It's been almost a week and I'm still high from the book fair. hahaha. :) I loved it, it was like heaven on earth for me. I walked four hours but I still felt I didnt have enough time. Okay scratch that. I didnt have enough money. hahaha. I spent so much my wallet is practically crying buckets. :P Oh well, it's not like I always buy stuff for me, so there. hahaha. :)

James was with me the whole four hours, which I did find surprising because he is not at all a fan of books (maybe he is just a fan of me. mwahahaha..) But seriously it amazes me how he was able to withstand 4 full hours of nothing but books, when I almost die in boredom with 2 hours worth of Magic the Gathering. I love him more for that. yiheee. :)

Sharing a few pictures of the fair:

32nd Manila International Book Fair

met Samantha Sotto.. such an inspiration!

so excited to read her book!

eggs rule!

our heavy loot.

thanks honey for carrying them! :)

other loot:

Percy Jackson-so not me, but loving it so far.. :)

some books from PSICOM

special request for the father dear..

ugh, I can foresee a yearlong

facebook status marathong posting.. :P

a few finds at National Bookstore..
this was where I wish I really
had more money.
sooo many great finds, plus all books
at 20% off!

pitstop at Summit.. love, love them!

the first things we bought, perfect gifts!

gifts for some of my pamangkins / inaanaks

at the end of the day:

wawa naman, super pagod..

Overall, I had an awesome time. Next year I'm definitely taking Nics and Dorot! (and James of course..)

Bright Red Lipstick

2011-09-18T02:42:00.001+08:00

I think mentioned here before that I am the ultimate anti-kikay, well I changed my mind. I think I'm just the laziest kikay that ever lived. LOL. :)

I love fashion, make-up and all that but I am just too lazy to do this every single day. my fault really.

But then again there are days when I just want to up the ante a little bit. Case In Point: The Bright Red Lipstick Day. :)

Now I'm not sure if I'm ready to debut this look to the whole wide world, but I did love how it looked on me..

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

rambling on and on

2011-09-17T19:49:00.000+08:00

It has been a crazy few weeks. Work was hectic, home life was busy and my social life? well, let's just say it doesnt exist. I need a vacation. STAT. (December, my love, why are you still so far away? waaah.)

Chemo Update: we're done with the first part of the chemo (yey!). now the second part entails weekly chemo sessions and another set of meds. I have to admit I'm a little bit scared of this. Chemo every three weeks was intense enough as it is, now chemo every week? sigh.

On to some work news: James is still adamant on resigning. I dont have any problems with that naman, my only condition was he starts the preparations while he is still working. So far we're well over our heads with the preps. yikes. hopefully in a couple of weeks, he'll be able to tender his resignation na. excited and scared much. :P

As for me? It has been 4 years since I entered the company. 4 FREAKING YEARS. Can't believe it. Seriously where did the time go? I have been thinking about this and I think I narrowed it down to two possibilities. One, I'm so happy with my job I hardly noticed the time flew by. Two, I'm just plain old apathetic with my work life. Hmm. let me get back to you on that.

Tomorrow, we're going to the Manila International Bookfair. I'm so excited I have been unable to sleep for days. hahaha. OA. I love, love, LOVE books and it has been a while since I've actually held one. I have been into ebooks for quite some time now, but the thing is, nothing really beats holding a solid book. Let's just hope my wallet doesnt cry aftewards. hahaha. :)

Will post my loot soon! :)

sad. scared.

2011-09-04T07:05:00.001+08:00

i know i shouldnt be envious. i shouldnt think this way. but i am, i really am. :(

i know its so not the time but will it even happen? cause i'm scared it wont. :(

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waaaaah!

2011-08-27T10:21:00.001+08:00

you know it's not your day when:

1. you have 200+ tasks and you have to attend a 1 hour training which extended to an hour and a half. (pero in fairness, masaya yung training.)

2. you come back to your station ready to work and find out your computer is so useless, you have to restart every 5 minutes because for some reason it freezes every time you open a file.

3. you try calling IT for help and they say: "wala kami magagawa. request nalang for replacement."

3. you try to eat dinner (tuna casserole) and you spill it all over your pants, shirt and jacket and you smell like tuna the rest of the night, no matter how many times you try washing it out.

4. you were so excited that you're finally done with work when suddenly you realize you still have one more spreadsheet left and you end up staying another hour.

5. you're finally about to go home and decided to pass by the atm machine and then it tells you: "sorry this machine cant dispense cash right now. "

seriously?! SERIOUSLY?!!! kaloka. :D

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Awful Work Week

2011-08-21T12:48:00.000+08:00

It was a bad, bad work week for me. I made mistakes I shouldn't be making plus I got accused of mistakes I didn't even make.

I just wish before people start talking, they'd at least ensure that they know what they are talking about. It was hard enough that I made that stupid error, then to be accused of committing another one without even double-checking what really happened, UGH, it was just so frustrating. Anywaaaaaaaay. I heard we're facing 2 hours of overtime everyday next week. I'm just hoping I'll be able to get through it, without further mishaps.

I am so looking forward to Wednesday, my first vacation leave in, I think, 2 months. yey!

curveball

2011-08-15T02:14:00.000+08:00

whew. I have barely gotten over the last one and yet I am about to be faced by another one. James is gonna resign from his job. The decision is made, I can't do anything about it.

On one hand, I feel so bad for him cause I really saw that he did try his heart out it's just that maybe he really is not the office type of guy. He's more into labor intensive work, which is really hard to come by in this country. I also think he has the guts and the heart for business, which I dont have. I'm not a risk taker, which is a main requirement in starting a business.

On the other hand, like I said I am afraid of taking risks and resigning from a job without even a concrete plan on what to do next is a huge, gargantuan risk for me. It's scary, to say the least.

I am sooo tempted to demand James not to resign but it really breaks my heart every time I see him down and out just because his job makes him feels so inadequate. I dont think anyone should suffer that much, at least not somebody I love to bits. Plus as I said he has the heart for business, so who knows maybe he'll get his long-awaited success in that area.

James is a brilliant, brilliant man. He's very smart, he comes up with great ideas plus he's very nice to people (generally. LOL.) He wont admit it, but he has the heart of a teddy bear. He would seem rough and tough on the outside but his heart easily melts. We "discuss" a lot because we are both so opinionated and we're always seem to be on opposite ends. It irritates me but every time we "discuss" I would always end up amazed at how he looks at things. It's so different from mine. (please dont tell him I said that. hahaha).

His brains, his heart plus his risk-taking, i-am-not-scared-of-anything attitude I think would make a good businessman. And as my mama said it's the best time to take risks. We're still young, we don't have kids yet, so basically the only thing we have to lose is our pride and our money. Money, we can eventually earn again and as for pride? Everybody needs a good fall every now and then. That's what makes us human. That's what makes us appreciate the life that we have.

So anyway, as scared as I am, I am determined to support him in whatever he wants to do. It's his turn. He humored me by trying to work in an office, I think it's about time I give in to what he feels he wants.

Dear Lord, please help me find the strength, the patience and most importantly the faith to be able to get through this.

Hon, if in case you'll come across this post, (which I highly doubt), I just wanted to say I love you so much and I believe in you with every single cell in my body. Let's do this.

Cant Fight Biology

2011-08-08T21:38:00.005+08:00

I chanced upon this episode of Grey's Anatomy last weekend and I was in tears yet again. (LOL.) What Derek said to Meredith in the last scene was basically what James was telling me all this time and that really hit me hard. here goes:

Derek: Here's what we're gonna do. No more doctors, no more labs. You and I we have a lot of sex. Maybe we make a baby, maybe we do not. Maybe you get Alzheimer's, maybe you do not. Just screw the odds, screw science. Let's just live. Whatever happens. Happens. Me and you. Okay?

Just like Meredith, I was the anxious one. I wanted to undergo tests, treatment, whatever. And I wanted it right away, without even trying if we could do it naturally. Yes, I was the crazy one. And James? He was the semi-crazy one. LOL. (you didnt think I was gonna say he was the sane one, did ya? hahaha.)

I think the main reason I was scared about not being able to have kids (well aside from hearing other people talk about us or telling me straight me to my face that having kids is the end all and be all of married life) was because I didnt want to disappoint James. I mean, he likes kids, he's great with kids so I thought he automatically wanted kids.Well apparently not, well not yet anyway.

I think it was just last week when we talked about kids again and yes he is still pretty much decided that it's still not yet time to have one. Me? Well I'm just basically relieved. At least I no longer spend days and nights (and a few afternoons) worrying about having kids and disappointing him. And yes, I wholeheartedly agree that this is just not the time to have a baby (see previous posts).

Now I just have to worry about deflecting other people's comments and I'm so not good at this. Either I stomp away then cry or I say something I later regret. oh well, cant win them all.

oh and just in case you guys are wondering, we are open about adopting. (well at least I am. but I'm not gonna worry my little ahead about it for now.) I'm perfectly happy with the way things are going with me and James and that's all that matters for now.

tired.

2011-08-02T22:51:00.002+08:00

some days you just feel like you've been run over by a 16-wheeler truck.

this is one of those days.

i need a vacation. stat.