Mad as Hell

Slurpees of mass destruction

2009-10-17T21:22:00.002-04:00

Hooda thunk? For 20 years, clandestine al Qaeda cells have been meeting and secretly plotting the destruction of Our Way of Life^TM in the back offices of 7-Elevens across the land...

Glenn Greenwald - Salon.com

In remarks about domestic security threats, Rep. Sue Myrick of Charlotte said, "Look at who runs all the convenience stores across the country". . .

Myrick’s comments came during a speech to the conservative Heritage Foundation last week about what she called Americans’ lack of readiness to deal with future terrorist attacks. During a question-and-answer session, she spoke about danger within the country.

"You know, and this can be misconstrued, but honest to goodness (husband) Ed and I for years, for 20 years, have been saying, 'You know, look at who runs all the convenience stores across the country.' Every little town you go into, you know?" . . .

We have not yet invented suitable language to do such stupidity justice.

The Spinelessness Scam

2009-10-04T20:23:00.004-04:00

As one who has often complained, along with may others in the blogosphere, about the inveterate invertebrate behavior of elected Democrats, I must confess that I have been in denial.

How so, you ask?

Well, it's like this.

I have weighed the conventional wisdom concerning the putative spinelessness of our "more and better" Democratic leaders and have found it wanting. Is it credible, I asked myself, that so many driven, hyper-ambitious men and women - men and women who clawed and brawled their bloody way to the top of the electoral food chain - would suddenly go all weak in the knees at the thought of being called bad names by the other side? And that in the face of relentless criticism from the party rank and file? And not just once or occasionally, but consistently?

No.

What, then, is the explanation?

I believe it is this: "spinelessness" is simply a clever cover for the fact that the Democratic agenda is really the same as that of the GOP, to wit, to keep their corporate owners happy. Republicans, you see, can wear their inner sociopaths on the outside and the GOP base will see it as a badge of honor; Democrats must at least feign empathy in order to get elected and keep their constituents off balance. Dems would much rather cop to the lesser offense of spinelessness (or haplessness, the other excuse that gets trotted out when spinelessness won't do) than plead guilty to their real crime: unbridled self interest. Just like the other guys (with far too few exceptions).

That's it. It was right there in front of me all this time, but I refused to see it. Fool me once; shame on you. Fool me 12,347 times; I fucking deserve it.

No more.

Word to Barney Frank: The planet is LV-426

2009-08-21T20:43:00.003-04:00

Wonkette : ‘After 8 years of a president sent by God to lead the American people and rescue us from the horrors of 911 and Islamo-fascists, it now boils down to this?’

Yesterday your Wonkette took its turn to write about the “hot new Internet article,” this thing from Townhall, about how Michelle Obama’s mother Marian Robinson has been practicing Satanic witchcraft — or “witchcraft mumbo-jumbo,” as Barack Obama calls it — inside the White House. The author of this important piece of investigative blog journalism, however, was not pleased with your editor’s dissection of the article. She has sent us an e-mail with complaints and makes a number of provocative political arguments.

Ripley: "...we landed at Townhall.com..."

Company Bitch: "...and found something never encountered on more than 50 known worlds: a creature that gestates inside a living conservative host - these are your words - and has concentrated stupid for blood."

All you need to know about the healthcare debate

2009-08-14T10:20:00.004-04:00

All the teabaggery surrounding health care can be summed up as follows:

"Ah ain't lettin' the gummint take mah money an' give it to no ni**ers!"

This is the kernel of all wingnut diatribes against "Big Government."

The truth will out

2009-08-05T18:31:00.003-04:00

There are those who seek to know the truth
And those who seek to still it.
True seekers ponder what is sooth
While killers try to kill it.
In numbers great
Or numbers small
The killers seek to smash it all
For hatred's sake
For mammon's call
The killers work as those in thrall
To powers dark
In towers tall.

What towers, you ask?
Well, shit
Who amongst us hasn't seen
The glistening tower
Known far and wide as
The Newscorp Building
In New York
That bastion of decadent liberalism?
Rupert Murdoch has his minions
Jerk him off as he gazes upon
His great, naturalized-American colossus.
And Mellon Bank?
No towers have they?
Nay.
Those rich-ass motherfucker have towers to spare.

But what watchman in what tower watches out for the rest of us?
None, I fear.
So
It behooves us
To look out for ourselves.
And our brothers and sisters.
And remember
Inasmuch as you have befriended my family
My brothers
My sisters
Aunts and uncles
Cousins, no matter how many times removed
You have befriended me
Saith the Lord.

Because the day will come
When the truth will out
And every evil deed in every dark corner
Will be exposed by the light of truth.

Lord!
Hasten that day
Even though it will mean that all of us
Regardless of race
Skin color
Creed
Political connections
Net worth
Will face the Supreme Judge.

Selah.

Atrios explains it all for you

2009-08-05T18:28:00.002-04:00

Eschaton

When John Bolton saw Bill Clinton go to North Korea, his penis got a little bit smaller. And that's really what it's about.

If Bolt-On's willy gets any smaller, the man will be sporting two innies. Assuming he doesn't have a herniated umbilicus. In which case he will FINALLY have an innie.

Liberal is as liberal...

2009-08-05T17:55:00.005-04:00

...drinks.

Drank liberally last night; first time in a long time I was able, as a newly unshackled bachelor, to belly up to the bar in the company of like-minded crypto-socialist, fascist, multicultural, multilingual, Marxist, nihilist, infralapsarian, anarchistic, freedom-hating, licentious LIBERALS!!!! Saw some familiar faces, met some truly cool new friends, and, in general, had a blast.

You too may experience this blessing. If you are unfortunate enough to live outside of the greater Philadelphia metropolitan area, go to http://livingliberally.org/drinking/ to find a chapter near you. If, however, you are one of the chosen - the few, the proud, the loud, the Philadelphians! - you should head down to the Triumph Brewing Company at 117 Chestnut Street on any Tuesday at 6:00 PM. A great time will be had by all. Youse follow? Or do I hafta slip youse my left fer a convincer?

Word to Dante...

2009-08-05T17:53:00.002-04:00

...dude, seven circles ain't enough.

Firedoglake » Jamie Kirchick: Pervasive Republican Birtherism is the Fault of Liberal Blogs

Jamie Kirchick is very upset about this terribly unfair birther rap that's dogging Republicans, and in today's Daily News, argues that it's mostly FDL's fault.

The GOP and its base are little more than a mindless mob of soulless humanoid husks who lie as easily as they draw breath. It's far past time we sent some stimulus dollars to Hades so that Lucifer and his minions can expand their domain to accommodate the vast hordes of Rethug undead who will someday - soon - come seeking entry to the infernal regions. I'm thinking at least another hundred circles. Yeah, a good hundred.

Who knows where that FOX mic has been?

2009-07-14T18:54:00.005-04:00

Finally, documentary evidence demonstrating where FOX gets its so-called news from:

Sarin Plain and Palin and the Snatch-Licking Caribou

2009-07-05T15:50:00.001-04:00

The latest? Sarah Barracuda bares her teeth at the First Amendment.

AKMuckraker: Huffington Post Blogger Shannyn Moore in Palin's Cross Hairs

Van Flein's letter threatening legal action specifically pointed the finger at Alaska blogger Shannyn Moore as "most notably" claiming as "fact" that Palin resigned under federal investigation.

Van Flein, asked why he singled out Moore, said it's because she went on national television and talked about it. Moore was on with MSNBC's David Shuster on Friday, the day Palin said she will resign.

"There is a scandal rumor here that there is a criminal investigation into some activities and that's been rumored for about, I don't know, probably six weeks or two months," Moore told him.

Yah, and I heard there's a rumor swirling around the Internets that Sarah Palin is in the habit of smearing peanut butter (don't know which brand) on her snatch and then tramping bare-ass naked into the woods looking for a caribou to lick it off until she sees stars and stripes and fireworks and shit. Seems Todd has a permanent case of limp dick (who fathered those whelps then, I wonder?), so Sarah needs to heed the call o' nature if she wants to get off.

After years of hearing about how Bill Clinton murdered Vince Foster, raped the entire population of the women's wing in the Arkansas State pen, and then "disappeared" all witnesses; after listening to Palin gibbering about Obama "pallin' around with terrorists;" after countless blog posts, FAUX News propagandacasts, and Limpbone tirades about the 44th president being a closet Muslim/Communist/Fascist/Atheist/Socialist/Babykiller/Marxist/Hitlerist/Pod person... where the fuck does this dirt-stupid bitch get the chones to threaten anyone with a lawsuit? May God light up her PB-greased ass with some serious fire and brimstone.

Technorati Tags: Palin, Sarah Palin, She does it with Caribou, PB, limp dick, Todd Palin, pussy

Jesus Christ on a pogo stick

2009-07-02T20:35:00.003-04:00

...last post was in April. Has it been that long?

And may I be forgiven for my sacrilege. Hard to avoid such profane outbursts when you've watched "Yes We Can!" drop its mask and show its true, ugly face. "The Audacity of Hope" has been weighed in the balance and has been found; well, to be little more than "I can't believe you fell for that, man! What a goof! I can't believe it, man!"

Dark Helmet may have been a riot in "Spaceballs," but his opposite number in the White House is about as funny as a stray neutron in a trans-critical mass of U235. What can I say but, "Woe, woe to the inhabitants of the earth, for the blather and bullshit to be spewed forth like vomit from this Administration!"

Arthur Silber, sainted sage of the ages, may God grant you your rightful place at His (Her) side as the all-seeing Oracle, Cassandra ever ignored, but always proved fucking right. And fuck you, Judy Miller, you ever-wrong shrike, for your blasphemy.

NOM de FAIL

2009-04-10T20:26:00.002-04:00

Anti-Gay Rights Group Calls its Marriage Campaign '2M4M' | TPMDC

Now that activist legislators are legislating from their legislatures to legalize gay marriage, activists are turning up the volume on anti-gay marriage rhetoric.

There's just one, ahem, kink.

In an unintentional but hilarious nod to gay sex chatters everywhere, the National Organization for Marriage has dubbed their campaign "2 Million for Marriage". Or 2M4M. Whoops.

First teabagging, now this? Are wingnuts really that stupid? Word to your momma: TRY THE GOOGLE! On second thought, nahhhh....

Technorati Tags: teabagging, m4m, 2m4m, NOM, NOMskulls, morons, morans, idiots, gay marriage

To my faithful readers

2009-04-10T19:34:00.002-04:00

...both of you.

I have been too busy and/or dispirited to post for quite some time, but it's time for soul-baring - so please bear with me.

First, I must apologize to Arthur Silber and all others in the blogosphere who derided, or at least chided, those of us who enthusiastically supported Barack Obama in his admittedly historic campaign for the presidency.

You were right.

While the policies of this administration may produce minor improvements in the quality of life for a few, they will for the most part continue to cause misery for the many, many millions who are on the receiving end of US foreign policy "largesse".

"Change we can believe in"? Let's review:

A mere glissando from the Bush policies of torture and secrecy?
A fervent allegiance to the financial elites who wrecked the global economy?
Still in Iraq?
Almost in Iran (solicitous noises middle-eastward notwithstanding)?
"Af-Pak" murder by avian robot proxy?
A blind eye turned toward both Palestinian suffering and Israeli war crimes?
A continued committment to our perpetual garrisoning of the planet and our "manifest destiny" of world hegemony?

That, my friends, is NOT change we can believe in.

Now a McCain presidency would have been worse, I admit, but I didn't vote for this shit. And given the choices I wouldn't change my vote. But we need to have better choices, or we all need to opt out. As the sainted Mr. Silber once wrote (I paraphrase): "What if they gave an election and nobody came"?

I realize I am vulnerable to the charge of inconsistency, so I plead guilty in advance. Guilty of gullibility, of naivete. Of stupidity, even. After eight years in the desert, the mirage of an oasis in the scorching heat was too seductive to resist. But the promised cool water of change has turned out to be nothing but more searing sand.

And so I continue to be Mad as Hell.

What this country needs...

2009-03-09T23:22:00.000-04:00

...is a God-damned fucking revolution. Because our corrupt, third-world, banana republic government is already WAAAAYYY too fucking revolting.

UP AGAINST THE WALL, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

2009-03-09T23:21:00.001-04:00

On second thought, death by firing squad is too merciful. May Lewis and his ilk die the death of the homeless Bowery bum, rummaging through their own trash for edible scraps and half-finished cocktails. Fucking scumbags.

Cuomo, Frank To BofA's Lewis: You "Fuel Distrust And Cynicism"

NEW YORK -- New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo and Rep. Barney Frank on Monday sent a joint letter to Bank of America Corp.'s chief executive, Ken Lewis, demanding he immediately disclose details about individual bonuses paid to Merrill Lynch & Co. employees in December.

Technorati Tags: BoA, Ken Lewis, scumbag, douchebag, a bullet in the head wouldn't even faze him cause he's brainless

Going Galt...

2009-03-09T18:37:00.001-04:00

... would be a clear case of addition by subtraction of a negative quantity. And the last disjunctive in the final sentence just made me hurl.

Balloon Juice » Blog Archive » Creeping Galtism

Much html code has been spilled about the wingnut obsession with “going Galt” in order to avoid paying a 39% marginal rate on income over 250K a year. Matt Yglesias points out that we’d probably be better off if a lot of wealthy Americans went Galt, the Washington Independent has a nice run-down of the whole movement, if it can be called that, and commenters all over point out that John Galt would never have worked as a dentist, represented people from Bakersfield, or slept with Glenn Reynolds.

Technorati Tags: Galt, going Galt, Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged, Limbaugh Shat, so go Galt already, losers, assholes, wingnuts

Why do they publish these assholes?

2009-03-04T22:23:00.001-05:00

Michael Gerson put the "(W)reck" in "Schmutz und Dreck," yet Fred (a disgrace to all Freds) Hiatt prints the putz's psycho rants. To wit:

Michael Gerson - A Week of Revelation - washingtonpost.com

This is not merely the rejection of "trickle-down economics," it is a weakening of the theoretical basis for capitalism -- that free individuals are generally more rational and efficient in making investment decisions than are government planners.

Mikey, you and your asshole C.H.U.D. overlords LOST, big-time, in 2008. Why don't you just burrow into a shitpile and lie dormant for, oh, say, about as long as it takes for you to STFU permanently?

Shameless Scumbags

2009-03-04T22:10:00.001-05:00

Criticizing Ty'Sheoma Bethea - Joan Walsh - Salon.com

I thought it would come from Michelle Malkin or Rush Limbaugh, but Malkin is too busy planning her anti-tax tea parties while Rush gets ready for his close-up at the Conservative Political Action Committee this weekend (which is a collection of nuts so nutty even Sarah Palin stayed away).

No, it was the conservative Washington Times that cast the first stone at Ty'Sheoma Bethea, the Dillon, S.C., teenager who wrote to Congress seeking stimulus funds for her shamefully dilapidated school. Obama used her statement, "We are not quitters," as the coda of his speech Tuesday night, but now the Moon-owned paper tells us what's wrong with Bethea, in an editorial with the condescending headline, 'Yes, Ty'Sheoma, there is a Santa Claus."

Obama "presented" Bethea "as a plucky girl from a hopeless school who took it on herself to write the president and Congress asking for much needed help," the Times began, ominously. Wait, she's not a plucky girl from a hopeless school? The editorial depicts her instead as a player in Obama's "mere political theater" because the president has been using her school, J.V. Martin, as a "political prop" since he first visited in 2005. Wow. Dastardly. I'm getting the picture: Obama, that slick Democrat opportunist, has repeatedly visited one of the poorest schools in South Carolina, a state that voted for John McCain. You just know he leaves with his pockets stuffed with cash every time he makes the trip.

It gets worse. The Times insists Dillon residents haven't been callous about conditions at Ty'Sheoma's school; in fact they passed a 2007 bond measure to reconstruct it. That's true, but it's only part of the story: The Chicago Tribune's Howard Witt reported that the bond measure "ran aground of the national credit crisis: No bank will loan the school district the construction funds."

Zed, we have a Bug...

2009-03-04T22:09:00.005-05:00

"Bugs thrive on carnage, Tiger. They consume, infest, destroy, live off the death and destruction of other species."

Actually, we have 219 Bugs- the Republicans in the House and Senate.

Wrap your brain around this...

2009-03-04T22:09:00.004-05:00

Glenn Greenwald - Salon.com

Harper's columnist and international human rights lawyer Scott Horton:
We may not have realized it at the time, but in the period from late 2001-January 19, 2009, this country was a dictatorship. The constitutional rights we learned about in high school civics were suspended. That was thanks to secret memos crafted deep inside the Justice Department that effectively trashed the Constitution. What we know now is likely the least of it.

Point of no return?

2009-02-23T21:28:00.003-05:00

Planet War (washingtonpost.com)

Precisely because the report is so ambiguous, it underscores what is one of the most difficult parts of the Iranian nuclear program: figuring out when the point of no return has been passed.

And what, pray tell, should the free and armed-to-the-teeth-with-nukes world do in response if that point has been passed? Our glorious nation passed that point over 60 years ago, and so far we have been the only ones to use such weapons in anger. Shall we commit preemptive suicide? Or should we bomb ourselves?

We opened Pandora's atomic box, fearing that someone else would if we didn't. We can't put the shit back in that escaped, but we can do something to render harmless the evils that were loosed: declare peace and shitcan all nuclear weapons. The former USSR watched our B36s crisscrossing their airspace and realized that they needed a credible deterrent if they were to survive. Iran's enemies are packing many megatons; who can blame them if they seek a "credible deterrent" as well? Yet there is no clear evidence that they are seeking any such thing at this point. Let's seek a peaceful solution, if a solution is required, and beat our fucking swords into plowshares. If we don't, then may God have mercy on our incinerated souls.

Technorati Tags: Iran, nukes, UN, IAEA, war-mongering, armageddon, peace

Is he stupid or dishonest?

2009-02-23T07:41:00.001-05:00

I simply note that the two are not mutually exclusive.

Ben Smith's Blog: Alabama paper stands by Shelby story - Politico.com

Senator Richard Shelby today denied, through a spokesman, casting doubt on President Obama's citizenship, but the Cullman, Ala., paper that reported that he had is standing by its story.

Cullman Times editor Derek Price emails that his reporter, Patrick McCreless, affirmed to him that "we reported Shelby's comments on Obama's birth certificate accurately and completely.

"We stand by our story," Price wrote.

There may be video of the event, so stay tuned.

Technorati Tags: Senator, Senate, Shelby, Alabama, liar, idiot

Enough of this bullshit

2009-02-22T16:53:00.002-05:00

What the fuck? Didn't the nation turn the Rethugs out of office in the name of "change"? So far the only change in evidence has been along the lines of "brother, can you spare a dime?"

Glenn Greenwald - Salon.com

These allegations that Binyam Mohamed was brutalized at Guantanamo in the last several weeks -- while the Obama DOD was "concluding" that conditions there comported with the Geneva Conventions -- are coming from highly credible sources. The Obama administration has the obligation to make available an official in a position of real authority to speak on the record and attempt to reconcile these seemingly irreconcilable stories. The pledge to end the brutality and secrecy of the Bush detention regime was one of the centerpieces of Obama's campaign. One would think, on their own, they'd be eager to address these allegations in a forthright and candid way.

Technorati Tags: Obama, Gitmo, torture, WTF?, ENOUGH!

Angry White Pussies

2009-02-22T13:41:00.002-05:00

...donning amulets and dancing around the tribal phallus flaccidus totem to ward off evil Radical Socialist Communist Fascist Marxist Nazi Liberal Totalitarian Anarchist Stalinist Hitlerian African Hawaiian juju. But let Glenzilla tell the tale.

Glenn Greenwald - Salon.com

They're the same people who believed that Bill Clinton's use of the FISA court to obtain warrants to eavesdrop on Americans was a grave threat to liberty, but believed that George Bush's warrantless eavesdropping on Americans in violation of the law was a profound defense of freedom. In sum, they dressed up in warrior clothing to fight against Bill Clinton's supposed tyranny, and then underwent a major costume change on January 20, 2001, thereafter dressing up in cheerleader costumes to glorify George Bush's far more extreme acquisitions of federal power.

In doing so, they revealed themselves as motivated by no ideological principles or political values of any kind. It was a purely tribalistic movement motivated by fear of losing its cultural and demographic supremacy. In that sense -- the only sense that mattered -- George Bush was one of them, even though, with his actions, he did everything they long claimed to fear and despise. Nonetheless, his mere occupancy of the White House was sufficient to pacify them and convert them almost overnight from limited-government militants into foot soldiers supporting the endless expansion of federal government power.

I have it on good authority that the secret Conservative playbook is titled, "The Principles and Practice of Paleolithic Politics," by Og.

Technorati Tags: Angry White Male, pussies, tribalism, racism, militia, gun nuts, dickless

Let them eat Public Defenders!

2009-02-22T13:02:00.001-05:00

I mean if these perps were worth anything to begin with, they would have been born rich, right? And if we grant the right to exculpatory testing, what's next? The right to decent defense counsel?

A society that winks at the deaths of millions of innocents in Iraq can hardly be bothered over injustice involving - what, a few hundred? - innocent convicts.

'Christan nation' my ass.

High Court to Hear DNA Testing Case - washingtonpost.com

Their stories are familiar, even if their names no longer resonate:

Bruce Godschalk, freed after spending 15 years in prison for rapes he did not commit; Jeffrey Deskovic, wrongly convicted for murder and released after spending nearly half his life behind bars; Kirk Bloodsworth, the Marylander who spent years on death row for murder before the true killer was identified.

They are among more than 200 people nationwide who were freed because DNA tests performed after their convictions showed they could not have committed the crimes.

And they now have joined civil rights groups, some current and former prosecutors, and a convicted Alaskan rapist to urge the Supreme Court to apply constitutional protections for the first time to what the prisoners' lawyers call "arguably the most important development in the history of forensic science: the advent of DNA testing."

They are opposed by victims rights groups; the vast majority of states, which have a patchwork of laws granting DNA access; and the federal government. The governments say that creating a constitutional right to the testing would infringe on states' rights, overwhelm them with frivolous demands and create an endless right of appeal for those convicted of the most violent crimes.

Technorati Tags: DNA, testing, innocent, justice, injustive, punitive, hypocrisy