junk bake

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 14:43:00 +0000

Who has long distance friends better than me uh? Thanks Leigh, sometimes contributor to Lobsterplease.com and longtime fan of funny 80's music. You are so great!

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 02:14:00 +0000

You forgot about it, didn't cha? I remembered this track (ha, track, like I'm Angie Martinez or some shit) while burning through 90's stuff to ease the pain of a group of us working late doing a totally tedious filing task we all had to do. That was a week and a day ago and I cannot. Stop. Jamming. Get wit it!

I really respect how she's just arms-pumping-bodyrocking and that's her entire repertoire. It tells me that she's confident in her armjam and doesn't have shit to prove to you people. Let orange tribal shirt do it, fuckit.

Love this bag so much but I'm not getting it. This is actually among my most sartorially perfect purses. I want a blue bag, bright royal blue, so bad but I've told myself I can't buy leather or suede again. Phony, of course, but not real, which this is. I know I own a leather bag (and sneakers. And stupid shoes) right now, but it's ethical leather, and that's uh, like a uh, smidge less terrible? I don't know, I am not a professional detective, and of course I don't know how strictly this ethical leather business is enforced but it's already been purchased and worn for forever now so can we stop living in the past?

No more leather and suede from today on. I must find a blue purse though. A perfect blue everyday purse. It's going to be a journey, I'm so idiotically picky about the nothingest things.

Doin' time

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 08:46:00 +0000

Fo we been together like Nike Airs and crisp tees

Me - far left, the most bests Kathryn and Carla - middle and right. These broads are highly hilarious, cute like the dickens and wickedsmart, you so want to know them. I'm one of the very luckys who does.

Vegas strip day-to-day fuel. You know you can drink anywhere and everywhere there, right? North America massive is just the squarest. WE AREN'T GOING TO CHUG 9 BULMERS CIDERS AND JUST GO WRECK EVERYTHING YOU KNOW GOVERNMENT TYPES, OR LIQUOR BOARD (?) TYPES OR WHOMEVER MAY BE THE TYPES THAT FORCE US TO DRINK IN ONLY DESIGNATED AREAS. I want to freewheel my Saturday buzz up Spadina and you are crushing that want! Well, not really, cause I'll just do it anyway. But I shouldn't have to hide it in this stupid 7-up bottle is what I'm saying.

Layton, we love you, today and forever

One thing I feel particularly (early) nostalgic about is my bike ride to work in the morning. I loved it so much. I mean.. just yeah, I loved it. Now I live too far (Mississauga, ewew, SHUT UP. I'm in love,okay? It's more complicated than 'eeww, Sauga sucks!', and I know you know these complications if you've been in it.. please just don't make me feel dumb for feelings choices.)

I have so much nostalgia already for this song. I listened to it every morning and every afternoon on my way to work/home/palz time and, you know that thing where you know, pre-emptively, you'll for sure get sad for a song in months then years to come, cause of how heavy a part it played in your most mundane - BUT GREAT - life comings and goings.

Oohh, bike. 'Bout 2 months to go. I'm gonna get a second bike! I love my bike so much but 'cause of that love I'm too scared to keep it downtown all the time so I'm gonna get a second to live downtown and my original wheels to ride up here. New bike will live locked up somewhere near Union station probably and I'll burn around on that. Oh man it's going to be so BAWSS.

I'm counting down minutes. Holding onto the knowing.

February is going to fucking blow. Does it ever not though?

Beauty and The Greasiest

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 02:14:00 +0000

Can someone please do something about this?

What this, you know, THIS. J Lo is maaaaj harshing my buzz right now. This kid is like, I can't even. He may be lovely, he may treat his Mom and female friends like a doll, cool! But don't DATE HIM. 'Specially don't date him when you're total ragebabe J Lo - it's outrageous! His chin lawn and his dragon-tribal-random "art" scrawl tattoos, his ABS BRO, ABS vibe and his clubturd dress, his all-encompassing greasy Chris Brown 2.0 vibe are makin' me sad. I'm sad now.

ewww

DOUBLE EWWWWWW

AAAAAGGGHHHCHRIST MY EYES AND MY SOUL!!!!!!!!

If he's legitimately, like I mean so legitimately, the coolest guy ever (heh), then maybe I feel bad about this. I like him if he's really so great and funny and kind, interesting even. But.. do you think he is? DON'T LOOK AT ME, I'M ASKING YOU.

I miss this you guys. I miss YOUS. Everything's gone to crap since you split. Socks only half fit, oranges tastes wierd.

It'll never be this sweet again. Well, certainly not for her anyway.

UPDATE: Lainey, of course, hits it right on the head again. Leave him. The fuck. Alone.

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 03:22:00 +0000

Are you real? Are you doin' it?

You want to smell like this. You.. you might not even know it yet but you want to smell like this. Hutch's dudesoap is happy to take the back seat in shower corner.

'member Sonique? As a twit who still doesn't know if this blog is adultbaby-friendly or not yet, let's just say that I had my fair share of less than legal fun to this song as a young'n. Oh it's a memory. One of those old teen-young adult events you remember and go 'awwwwwww. Young people is so cracked' to for ages to come. Then I saw her in Dublin at Temple Theatre and she wink smiled right at us and that was that. We're only on copious amounts of alcohol this time but we love you just as much SonAYque!

Rick Merc before he was, you know, Rick Merc. And me Moms bringin' up the bottom. Me and my best friend Jenn were going to perform a sketch from SNL with Chris Rock and Chris Farley called I'm Chillin'!, an MTV hip hop video show spoof, and we videotaped the episode and spent soooo long (REALLY long for grade 5) copying down every single line then memorizing every single line then practicing it in my basement for the cats and dogs and then.. we got scared cause we were 10 and not nearly as brazen in front of a crowd of adults as we were in the privacy of a rec room so we chickened out. Ugh, if only. That would've been a hysterically embarrassing memory come adulthood.

Tomorrow is Tuesday and I have a feeling this week is going to be a REAL one. Work an shit. I've also decided than I'm for sure moving up my cleanse as, jesus christ, I think about it enough now as it is, I might as well just get it over with. I'm not looking forward to it! I am looking forward to the handsome new toddler's liver and, of course, the other side. Month of February, I am ready (notreadynotreadynotready) for this.

Blue Ivy Carter, A Queen Amongst Other Regular Babies

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 01:43:00 +0000

I believe congratulations are in order.

You know who they are. Gosh, it feels like only yesterday when they did that timeless (IT'S TIMELESS) song together and we were like, man they are a knockout duo, aren't they a knockout duo? They should totally be together don't chya think? Don't you agree that they should be together??!

And now my babies have welcomed their own baby to the joint J & B Ultrahuman Throne. Congratulations - Blue Ivy! I'll tell ya though, I'm not nuts on Blue. I've met like a hundred dogs names Blue and I've had a suspicion over the last year or so that it was on the rise as a popular baby name. I'm put off by popular baby names. But that's my own issue, I can't expect B to care whether I'm prickly over her name choices, I mean, please! She owns ME, certainly not me her!

I love Ivy though. I wish Ivy came first. Ivy to me, especially on their baby, sounds like a soft-spoken, olden days-y, long-lashed southern belle. Simple and elegant. Why isn't Ivy first?! I'm sorry, I'm getting out of order.

(never-before-seen photo from earlier today of Al Gore meeting Blue Ivy)

Blue Ivy Carter, you are about to embark on the most outrageously lavish, real deal blessed -towered only by wickedly cool - life a kid's ever had.

It feels dirty to be an adult this jealous of a fucking baby.

Change is gon' come. Domain talk.

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 01:01:00 +0000

Of course I want to switch domain things after I find out you are the most gigantic flaccid elephant-killing penis. Elephants are so much better than you. You are a wet blob of barf covered in strangers' hair compared to elephants. I hope you get mashed from the mouth down in a freak elephant-stomping accident. Mashed flat.

So I'm moving my review blog, formerly Meonthings.com, to Hover on Kyle's recommendation. Ths bttr wrk uuut Kllllle! Clenched teeth type. I'm also thinking about changing its name. I don't know, I think I'm bored of the straightforwardness of MeOnThings. I've given myself today to come up with something I like better and if I can't, MOT lives on.

Other thing, I fina-fucking-lly got a proper domain for this bastard here so you are now reading Junkbake.com. As opposed to Junkbake.blogspot.com. Looks so much more with-it. Modern! Fanga snap!

Man I love this outfit. Shirt, shorts, boots, bag - all me, all day.No wonder, it's a pretty close representation of what I wear so often in the summer, on non-work days. Save for the boots, I don't have any boots that cool. I struggle with boots as I have thicker calves and they don't make nearly enough cool boots for my leg group. It's actually a real bummer.

They didn't do it at the show but I've been so solid on this song since I started listening to the whole WTT album right after. It's such a goodie. REALLY into cleaning up my house to this on bust. Okay, going to brainstorm ideas for a new MOT name.

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 04:17:00 +0000

Sweet bleedin' jaysus be less garrgeous wouldja? Irish impression.

Jokey! Being jokey on set. And I love that.

(via source)

2012 and some things to do in it

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 03:18:00 +0000

* Do a dry month cleanse from Valentine's to Paddy's Day. Couldn't pick a more sullen, depressing period of the year to do it but might as well get it out of the way during the miserable portion. Is what I'm telling myself anyway.

This idea comes courtesy of Rosemary who does it and, well look of 'er! A woman whose advice you'd be wise to follow.

* Do a proper health cleanse. This is more geared towards my eating but would it be idiotic or just math to do it at the same time as my booze cleanse? Is that too harsh and bound to fail or common sense to get them out of the way together? I'm undecided. I also haven't decided how long this will run for either. The last cleanse I did was, I think 3 weeks, late November 2009 into December.. oh god, I can't remember the model or anything but I think I mostly freestyled it. In that I just ate allallall organic, few good carbs, buckets of vegetables and fruit. For me, 3 weeks, no booze, no pizza - DIOS MI HUNGRIO!! an shit. UPDATE: I think I'm gonna move this start date up. I'm thinking about it so much, I might as well just get it over with. All of February is the new plan.

I may try to actually follow a model this time though, if I find one that's worthwhile-y effective, but that I believe myself to follow through to the end as well. It can be a tricky balance.

* Get something I've written published. Of course not print published. I'd be thrilled to get something into an online I may in some miniscule way fit into, like BlogTO, Shedoesthecity, or, major ambitiously now, Jane or Jezebel. I don't know, we'll see we'llseeWEWILLSEE. 'Beggars can't be choosers' could not be more suiting in this instance. You don't have to kill me over the last 2, they're just ones I like and - maybe one day! - it's good to have goals, ya know?

* Just back away from the things that annoy me. I have the terriblest habit of revisiting things that irritate the fuck out of me again, and again, and a-gain. I think I get off on it in an entirely juvenile way.What is that? Masochistic? Brain aneurysm early sign?! I don't know, but it's so idiotic and has to stop. It has to be destroying my blood pressure.

* Also want to find out about better pants. Then wear better pants. Stay more diligent with my roots. God, I let them go too long, always. Tell people when I can't make it to things instead of just no-showing cause I'm scared of their reply. Sorry, friends, I never want to, I'm a pansy and I'll do anything to avoid the BOO! COME ON! reply. Until now. Paint a big canvas in something blue, yellow and green like I've been passive planning for ever. Make, at the very least, an honest effort at getting a hold on my messy childhood-teenagehood feelings problems. I'm so old, it's so foolish by now!

*Take bigger shoes risks. How d'ya like that for evening out a doozie of a one before this?

Now here's some pictures that aren't mine.

I love this look. Should I do this look? Okay, I'm doing this look. Yes, I KNOW HOW BEHIND I AM ON THIS NOW VERY PROMINENT TREND. It's a mini problem, the slow trend-pickup, I don't really care about.

I love this show, why don't I ever see it anywhere anymore?

Affleck is so handsome, jesus christ.

And some pictures I do own.

My hair with Surf Spray in it.

lemon water in the morning. Good for you liver and belly, they say!

Bhaay mathafackas!

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 04:30:00 +0000

Have a silly long day tomorrow. I'm walking in The Weekend to End Womens Cancers. I'm scared kinda! I was just cruising their message boards and there was a thread about how maybe your toenails will fall out during the walk. Did you hear me, there was a thread about how maybe your toenails will fall out during the walk.

!!!!!!!!

Not all, just like 1 or 2. Even so. I'm a crybaby spiral of despair when confronted with real physical ails. Would you listen to me? I'm walking to raise money to help people with cancer, the most shitty, dickoff, bag of shit in the world, and I'm moaning about maybe losing a nail. Which I just cut off like every week anyway. Why do you even hang out with me?

Mummy, I love you!

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 23:45:00 +0000

As I just said on Twitter, I cannot stop looking at and LOVING this picture.

Funny how DudeGaga is captioned as 'the guy from Green Day' but that's not even what's really funny about it. Look at her face and her posture. And the way her arm is all tight to her side with her drink-hand jutting out an an exact 90 degrees like that. You tell me she isn't innately hilarious! She's a total cutup.

I heard that she's writing a column for V Magazine now and that it's getting ripped to shit. I don't know, I love the Gaga, I want to love the Gaga and most of all I can't be bothered looking for anything to be mad at her about. Also, her column, or the article in particular that's getting ripped, is about a fashion critic I've never heard of and I'm already bored of typing this. I do and write and say, oh god do I ever say, a lot of stupid shit that I don't even want people remembering let alone dissect and discuss publicly. But then again I'm not a megacelebritymachine. Either way.. No, that sounds so ignorant of me. Cause I guess if you're going to very publicly declare to be a fashion l'expert then you're allowed to be criticized for your opinions, and certainly when your opinions are criticizing someone else. Someone else who people say is MUCH more the h'expert than Gaga. Going to shush up right now as I way out of my comfortable fake-knowing territory. (Me from a cardboard cone behind the couch: "GOGAGA!")

And then look at Jay just standing around, being a sexy, adorable Dad-to-be. I wonder if this was taken before or after the big jacketlashopen-bellyrub reveal. You saw that right? How cute was Jay, beaming, BEAMING, at his newly pregnant, devastatingly brilliant wife showing the world her little bump, and after a performance like that! I know, I'm gushing, I just get so asssited when it comes to them and like everything they do. Aaaaggghhhh help me I'm drowning in the Jay and B zonked outta me wampers fiendfan sea of emotion!!!!

Then Kanye, right. Like, look at him. I love that guy. He's like the exhausting pal you grew up with who's always sidling up to every important thing and not only demanding to be included but demanding to be featured even though this is obviously a student council event and he didn't even run. Fuck outta here. Wait til band and choir puts something on though, then you try and tell me they would even have a show without him. Guy's good at music. I think we can at least agree on that. That face is frankly begging to get slapped with a pair of gloves.

We're going to Vegas in October. Week of the 16th. Where should we eat, drink, shop, see, skulk around? Some ideas so far are:

The Beatles Love show (DEFINITELY, as per me)
Flamingo Hotel (Fear & Loathing nerdery)
In -N - Out Burger. I don't know, people seem to never shut up about it. I just need to know, I need to be on a side
Either Second City at The Flamingo or The Riviera Comedy Club
Le Boulevard at Paris (sounds right pretty)
Grand Canal Shoppes at the Venetian (sounds right pretty)
Fashion Show Mall
Mandalay Bay Shark Reef
Nightclubs and pools to hang around, not really sure yet. This is where I need suggestions. I want zero techno/house/party dick music anywhere I'm spending time. Hip hop and bubblegum pop okay. Hoping our hotel's pool zone is decent enough to hang there all the time. I don't care about moving around tons or going anywhere "cool", see: crowds, Jersey Shores, loud DJs. I literally want to lay down, splash around in the pool, drink m'self sully and hopefully touch no one.

MOGUL GET EMOTIONAL

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 03:36:00 +0000

I haven't been here in ages. Don't get mad at me (self). I've been reading some new peoples' stuff and looking at some new peoples' stuff lately and I'm having a bit of an insecurity struggle over my writing. Some people write and articulate fucking goooooood.

I've been riding my bike like crazy. Good cripes I love riding my bike. It is truly wicked fun. And practical. What beats an a) free ride b) sweaty forced workout for yo' lazy ayass ride c) fun, kindof badass feeling streetsweepa ride. You should see me now, I'm weaving and scowling and mouthing 'fucking go!' at turd car drivers. I'm like Tony Montana of the bikesphere. Not really, but I'm a lot less timid than I used to be when I started.

Richard Pryor standup special is on The Comedy Network, I need to be paying more attention. Bye for now.

cats, meow!

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 01:51:00 +0000

Tabby at left: Chopsy Girl

Aged: 11ish

Favorite toys: not overly nuts about any objects we put in front of her

Favorite food: salmon off human's dinner plate, Purina cat's milk, tuna can juice

Favorite place to sleep: bottom corners of the bed, on top of the couch throw blankets stack

Paws smell like: nothing. Fur?

Other cute items: loves having belly rubbed, small and thin tail + chubby barrel body makes for maximum adorable, doesn't like being picked up like a baby but will just go all stiff and big-eyed and tolerate it

Fluffy grey and white guy at right: Bobby Wheels

Aged: almost 1!

Favorite toys: hair elastics, Q-tips

Favorite food: whatever Chops is into, not picky but certainly greedy

Favorite place to sleep: back of the couch

Paws smell like: kitten

Other cute items: likes being picked up under his armpits like a toddler, trots away, head and tail held high, very proudly when he manages to snag human food off a plate, meows his head off for like 3 or 4 minutes when we wake up or come home

Awesome nerdy post idea credit to Grind my gears

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 02:28:00 +0000

this blog is going through something of an identity crisis. Do I want to clean it up a bit and make it, and Me On Things for that matter, something that I can ever hope to make a profit from, and refer professional types to, and hope to 'market' in some form and please make no fun of my tentatively-typed amateurass wording right now as it's the Sunday, last day, of a long weekend for me and my brain is only running on half-mast. I'm not turning it up full tilt for a fucking (see, should I stop that? The "fucking!" thing? For the sake/hope of.. something?) blog post, get stuffed.

Or do I just keep it real and continue with the cursing and ripping and nonsensical waptalk cause it's what seems to flow out of me the truest? What's kindof a bummer is that I've read (briefly) a lot of mrpdata/analytics-wise popular blogs that seem to get cool products and somehow cash tossed at them on the regular that are CRAZY! BORING! I dread for this to actually be it, but are blog readers just more boring than not? Ugh, this is a whole new forum and too deep into it for me right now, but what I'm trying to say is that I just don't get it. I feel like I'm just from another planet than these writers.

My hair is getting pretty long and nice though so that's cool. 2-3 more inches then a long hold-steady is the plan. I hate when I say the same word twice two sentences in a row. But I can't think of a better one for either description that doesn't sound try-hard.

Stop filling air with idle chitchat self, what I really want to know is, HOW DO I KEEP IT REAL AND ALSO MAKE A FEW ROOTS?! TELL ME

Tony Awards are on TV. Watching even though not really interested. Awards shows on TV in the background of whatever I'm doing always feel soothing, familiar. I watched a lot as a kid I guess.

Originality is not dead, but originality is currently muted.

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Sun, 08 May 2011 05:48:00 +0000

let's go, to another planet, and make it the best with super strict rules pertaining to kind and realness in order to land on it, then look at earth from afar and scoff. Scoff without abandon cause we, on our kind and real planet, we do not have the kind of shits that they do. We are the best of the humans and we are going to fucking prosper.

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 23:23:00 +0000

These Le Chateau models are bumming me the fuck OUT. Oops, that link doesn't go directly to it. Go into womens > Blazers and Jackets > Sort by: Price > Lowest to Highest.

I mean look at the first one! She's about to bawl her eyes out, then pretend she's The Neverending Story princess, which she most certainly is not. The second one's a terrible actress at trying to portray 'cheeky', not buyin' it. Stop feigning coy and go console your forlorn friend over there please! The next few are normies, pass them, but then we're back to knockoff brand Neverending Story bitch again and this lizard-necked blonde who's like had her head medically adjusted to live 5 inches over to the left AS IF THAT'S AN OKAY PLACE FOR A HEAD TO BE. Why are you being so wierd??

I feel bad dogging on these girls cause they're just trying to wear some stupid jackets and make it like everybody else in the world. I'm blaming Le Chateau for choosing to use what have to be the worst of the lot. Look at Jenelle in the bottom righthand corner! She's just thinking about getting paid for this god damn shoot, wondering whether any of these photos are gonna be portfolio-worthy (aren't) and hoping that chicken parm in the fridge is still decent. Uninspiration has never been so palpable.

How do I change it so that my links go to new browser windows, not switch from the same window we're in? Can't find a setting for this in blogspot's dashboard. I hate when websites do this and make you keep arrowing back to original place.

And to answer what you're most concerned about of all in this: I'm perusing Le Chateau's website because my aunt gave me a $100 gift card. Okay?

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 23:03:00 +0000

The shave gel I got the other day blows. All I expect from a shave gel is to protect me from nicks and to be less shitty than this one.

What do you think of the names Roman, Paul, Auggie, Angie and Carla OR Carmen as your main dudes, then Melissa and Wanda so far as villains? Whaddaya think?

Today on the bus going from the subway to my house, ride got ragey. The bus was fucking packed, like where it's to the point of people pressed against both front and back doors. Then the bus driver goes "behind the white line, everyone behind the white line, behind the white line before we can go" and no one can fucking move. Why don't the fucking 4 assholes standing there slack-jawed and stunned at the very front just get the fuck off?! THEY NEVER DO. They just force everyone else to move 1 cm, move 1 cm, move 1 cm, mooooove 1 cm til we're literally all having sex going up Keele st. Fucking nice dickweeds!

I'm veering off course here and really givin the italics a hard run, sorry. So, we're packed to the fucking gills going up Keele st., and this asian woman sitting in the seat right in front of my crotch (seriously, not even a foot of separation)(well maybe a foot but YOU KNOW, I'M JUST TRYING TO HYPERBOLE THE SQUATNESS OF THE MOMENT HERE) starts playing with her phone. She may have actually been playing with it since I stepped on the bus and when we started moving is just when I started noticing - not important. She's texting, playing angry birds or bejewelled blitz or some shit, whatever she was doing required ALOT of button-pressing and this angel bitch had the button press audio left on so every time she pressed any button it went 'BEEP!'

Recap, the whole bus ride this woman was doing whatever that entailed rapidly pressing buttons on her phone without so much as a 1 second break. Just 'beep. beep. beep. beepbeepbeep. beep. beep. beepbeep. beep. beep. beepbeepbeepbeep. beep. beep. beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep. beep. beep.'... for-ev-er. Turn the faacking beep sound oooooff you malicious goblin trying to chinese-water-torture at least one hesitant asshole who won't say shit, will just silently burn alive for no one at all to see. In which case, you win dusty rose peacoat, you! WIN

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 04:14:00 +0000

crappy April Tuesday. It's now 12:12 am but still.

And guess what else? Back at the white mint tea. Only 4 or 5 bags to go now.

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 19:29:00 +0000

now on my fourth cup of white mint tea this evening. I like it but I don't like it better than regular mint. I'm done with green, so boring and dumb-tasting. Green is wacked out. I'd rather now be having regular mint - white has too close to a spearmint scent, or something - but I guess I'm drinking this now to just be done with it. I hate throwing away perfectly good anything. It's only like a few degrees less good than regular mint, so it's hardly like I'm plugging my nose and choking it back or anything. It's just, less good. Holy Christ, shut up about the fucking tea already.

Remind me that I told myself I'm definitely going to get a food processor soon.

Who is David Guetta and should I like him? I don't think I do. I have a feeling when I find out who he is I'm gonna be like, oh that guy and that song, ugh, I hate that song. I don't know this for sure, it's just what I suspect. I'm now refusing to google him though, just to keep this useless little inside-head notthatfun game with myself going.

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Sun, 17 Apr 2011 19:54:00 +0000

PERECTO

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Sun, 17 Apr 2011 06:12:00 +0000

the most beautiful and moving thing in the world. Ethereal.
I'm an easy sell with the living non-humans

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Sun, 17 Apr 2011 05:42:00 +0000

Greasy dipshit in HMV gave me a "hey can I talk to you for a second?" today. RIGHT. To which I responded with silence and faux-deafness whilst burning seriously hard eyeholes into the sale DVDs wall and sloooowwwwly moving in the direction opposite him.

Between him and the hand lotion kiosk girl - "hi, do you have a minute?" me, speed walking past half pity-smiling with "no, sorryyyyyy!" then her, to MY BACK "can I just ask you a question??" No lotion girl, I'm sorry, but you cannot. Neither can you HMV. I am in the mall by myself doing exactly what I want every single second that I am there, you cannot have even one second of my precious leisurely mall-puttering time. This is my time, and I am choosing to spend it here, and walk into whichever stores I want, and look at whatever I want for as long - OR AS BRIEFLY! - as I want, and no, you cannot ask me anything because then my time will be your time, you will be stealing my happy-lala-not-doing-anything-at-all-but-still-doing-exactly-what-I-want-just-bein-ol-me time and turning it into terrible, boring, looking into a stranger's face while they prattle on about lotion or skin or doing something with me later (eww) or getting to know me (EWW!) or what the fuck ever else. That is the exact opposite of how I want any seconds of my life, and especially my life when I am in weekend bacation brain closed for business only open for leisure sir, spent. Strangers have some nerve expecting you to give them windows of your life to waste and make shitty. No. NO. I won't have it.

Last night I drank wine by myself and cried about my Mom. It's coming up on one year since she went so very, very, very far away. I don't want time to pass, any time. I get so afraid of forgetting anything. I wish it was all yesterday and I was still in the clothes I was wearing that night and her hospital room handsoap scent was still on me and I could still hear her labored breathing near me. It's weird cause although it was so awful and completely heartshattering I'd still rather be close to it than far from it. Ya know? Far from it is scary. I just have so much life left to live without her. I dread the day when I'm actually saying 'it's been 10 years since.' It will be at least 50 years 'since' til my end. That's much too much time to live without her. Will I even remember what she looked like the last day then? Will I remember everything we said and did and how she smelled and how her skin felt and things leading up to the last minutes that are otherwise unnoticeable but meant so much to us and I absorbed as hard as I could then? Breathing, held eye contacts which you both knew were so special and so very, very important at that time, tiny sputtered out phrases, the look of her fingers and hands, the look of her feet, the little seconds where I was helping her in and out of her wheelchair or the shower or the toilet, just.. everything. I don't want to lose anything, I want to stay in that awful, awful day forever now. Even now, I know that I was watching Seinfeld episodes on my cousin's portable DVD thing when everything happened. But I can't remember which episode. Or which season even. And I feel like I should, that's so minor but couldn't I have paid enough attention to make a mental note of which episode was on when... ? See, tiny things like this bother me. I want it all. I want every single detail right in the FRONTFRONTFRONT of my mind. Forever.

So I cried, kinda loudly, alone and not caring about anything else kind of crying, on the couch about my Bawnie for awhile then put on my headphones and sang to a bunch of my happy youtube videos, also loudly. I even sent a friend of mine a sadsack text message about it as friend also lost someone very dear last year but like, NO, give it up! Do not get sad and tipsy enough that you want to tell people not with you about it. Does no one any good. I wonder if my hallway neighbors might've been coming or going and heard any of it. Do you think they hate me or pity-like me? They seem pretty nice.

Some numbers included: Beyonce - Diva, Beyonce - Crazy In Love, Beyonce - Why Don't You Love Me, Beyonce and Gaga - Telephone (what's with the Plenty of Fish plug in this by the way?), Beyonce - Freakum Dress, okay fine just fucking all of Beyonce's songs okay? I am a for real straight jacket fan for her and Jay both, it's goofy. B is all woman, you can't be mad at her! Kanye - Dark Fantasy, actually that whole album, I love that album, Kanye, Mos - two words.. aaaahh I can't remember what else, but a bunch of my classic goodieforevies.

I love old Kanye so much. Anything he was featured in before he was like KANYE! WEST! the star, him just being a second player to Jay, Mos Def, Common, Kweli, those guys, Dave Chappelle's Block Party. Speaking of Kanye and my Mama, sometimes when I'm sad and just want to cry it out I put on Kanye's Roses and listen to the first minute and a half. It's really sweet and makes me so sad and then, bingo bango, I'm crying and everything is alright. The grandfather mention always does me in if I'm not already by then.

Back to Dave Chappelle's Block Party, it's the beeeest. If you haven't even seen it go out and buy it immediately. Or just download it, immediately, and watch it, immediately. You must see Dave's Block Party in order to not kill yourself because it's crazy hilarious and chock full of mental hip hop performances. A staple must. When me and Sean lived together we watched this nonstop. We were both so into... all of it

That was 2 pictures of the house and street where Block Party took place and last one is me in front of the house they pretend is Biggie's house in Notorious.

Addendum to Block Party: I love drum lines so much. They make me the kind of happy that I get weepy and really proud, of strangers. Which is one of the best happys. I SO wish we had've had a drum line in our high school.

I'll tell you a few special details about a one me now:

I've been using hippie toothpaste lately. Right now I'm using a Tom's one. Is this a terrible idea? Are my teeth going to gnarl up and fall out or are my teeth going to get really wicked celebrity looking til everyone's like, what's with your teeth? They look so great! Well, which is it?

I really like Steamwhistle beer right now. I like it's wateryness, it always tastes fresh.

Have you read Wuthering Heights? Uggh. It is taking me F O R E V E R ! to get through. It's so depressing and, I feel like a total bonehead whenever I have to say this which is sometimes but, the language is hard for me. Some sentences I have to read 3 and 4 times then squinty stare into space to absorb it for 6 seconds before I finally figure out what the fuck is going on. I have unintellect disorder.

Today I went into the bathroom only to be greeted by this gorgie rosary necklace that I bought in Manhattan and thought I lost like well over a year ago. Andrew's in Spain and was asleep (6 hour time difference) when I found it so I could only send him a frantically happy faceb message asking where he found it, when I found it. So wierd! I was so sad at having lost it and man, that was a long time ago.

Yesterday I discovered and started friggin' with the laptop webcam. So far so... webcammy.

Oh, I found an old blog I used to write 6 years ago yesterday too. REVIEW: SOBAD. So stupid and idiotic, I could not be more annoyed with 6 years ago me. Not just like, oh my old writing, haha, oh how silly 'tis! No, it's truly awful. Embarrassing out the window, I'm glad only a handful of people ever saw it. I was mentally SHUSHing myself and faceclawing the entire time I was reading it. Maybe this one will turn out the same way but how I am to know this dear sergeant? I am not a time-traveller, I don't know what I may or may not abhor in years to come.

I just bought these shoes for me on the internet

and an SNL t-shirt which I can't copy for some reason but anyway, there you have it. My cool guy costume for the spring.

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 01:37:00 +0000

oh gu-uuuuys

Game. The fuck. On.

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 01:03:00 +0000

do you wanna know how my fitness is going?

Okay. I haven't been doing as much as I'd hoped I would but I have been doing more than nothing.

I got my Tracy Anderson DVDs. And book. I've kindof formed my own little nightly routine which is a medley of strength/pilates moves from the book, pilate moves out of a magazine article about Tanya Kim's fitness routine and old standby yoga/pilate things I already knew. I haven't even watched the Mat Method DVD yet. I have watched, and done some, of the Dance Cardio DVD but, problem! The moves are just too big! She's in this spacious, open studio skipping and twirling all over the place and I don't have the room. My living room is small. I hadn't considered this enough before I bought the DVD. If I'm as creative and determined as I could be, I guess I could modify the moves a bit so as to fit into the area that I have, but am I? Yet to be told. Ye olde legend of men says, if moves is too grand for size of living room, must move on brave warrior. Must not do, must just move. On.

I've been eating great. Salads like crazy with almost all organics, home guacamole, home egg salad sandwiches on caveman bread, loads of water with lemon, teas... listen to me, what am I doing? Listing what you're eating is so idiotic and self-serving (even though I do actually really like to talk about healthy food and good things you're doing for yourself. But only for so long cause, come on, it's just not all that interesting after stating the actual fact itself) (I'm really of two minds on telling people about stuff like this. On the one hand, why not? Might inspire someone else to follow suit, or just give them ideas of things to make if they're running dry. But on the other hand, like, please, can sometimes be a maj' jerkoff session and I know that you know this. Guess it depends on the person, the length of said discussion, the interest the party being told has in hearing all about what goes in your stupid gob, and other tiny things. This is a long parentheses) I'm so virtuous what with all of my salads and tea and wata, read all about it here, nod approvingly from your home at me! Even with booze though, I'm on dirty martinis and red wi- shut up oh my god, shut it up.

I've been thinking about getting a cheap treadmill. But I honestly don't have a place to put it. It'd have to be really small. Like no bigger than a tissue box. I can't run outside. Don't even start with it, I can't run outside. But it's so hard to move about vigorously in a small space! It is truly challenging to be fit when you're this demanding about your fitness environments and channels.

Serious summary, I've been feeling pretty great, am definitely tightened up from my goofy little nightly pilates/yoga routine. DVDs, barely used at all, book gets a fair bit of usage. I feel that the only major thing I could use right now is real cardio. But, you know, the whole Queen Jinglebutt, all the planets aligned exactly perfectly with how I'm willing to actually get said cardio, thing. Should I just get a Wii fit and call it a day? .. Steph?

noreply@blogger.com (annie) — Sun, 20 Mar 2011 21:16:00 +0000

Reviewed the very best dry shampoo in the world and revisited a great, oldish Kanye tune. Look at all this goodness here.