maddysblogs

N+2 syndrome

2018-08-16T01:27:00.000-07:00

It is hard to believe that a casual chat with Praveen Kannan  in a share auto while going to Verizon on one fine day in 2007 took us this far.  We came to US with a promise to our family members that "we will return back within 2 years after graduation".  

Graduation happened, first job, second job, third job, excitement of seeing paychecks in dollars pushed the return to India plan to 2 more years away.  Next promise to family members - "will return to India after working for 2 more years".

2 years did go by fast.  Now comes the bride hunt - one more person to extend the promise "will return to India 2 years after marriage" and "will stay with parents after marriage".

2 years after marriage - "Oh we are about to have a kid and also just got promoted now.  Can't quit this job and return to India.  Will return in "few" years!!"

Daughter turns 2 - "Let us go back when she is about to start 1st standard.  In the meantime let us buy a home here and, also in Chennai - "Just In Case!" "

And for people asking - Idhuku naduvula company start panradhalam soniye da - I will save this for another day

All said and done - Completed 10 years in US with hope to return back in 2 years.

Rest in Peace, Madhuu!!!

2012-06-15T00:32:00.002-07:00

Madhuu,

Madhuusree.N (8th Feb 1985 - 13th June 2012 and forever in our hearts)

It is strange to even write this blog entry because I know that you will not be reading it. You always read my blog and encouraged me in what I had written. Who would have guessed there would be a post dedicated to you so soon?

I have my own personal and special memories, of the mark you left in my heart, in my life and it is very hard for me to be up here, writing all those thoughts. I will try my best to focus on the happiest times rather than the fact that you are no longer with me. I am certain of two things though. You would have wanted me with my happiest thoughts of our times spent together and secondly, you are still with everyone of your friends and family, strongly in spirit.

Just so you know, my first reaction was complete shock on knowing what happened. It was a brutal blow that I will take years to recover from. My eyes were welled up with tears and I began to sob bigtime after getting off the call. I knew you wouldn't want to see me crying but you did not leave me an option, did you? And to think you had just called me last week after a long time, makes this even more painful.

It is at times like this when I realize what is important in life. I often take for granted the life I have been given. Then you did something like this and made me realize the brevity and uncertainty of life itself. To be frank, you literally made me to press the pause button for a while to think of all these but at a very very costly price.

If this is what you meant when you said that you were not going to attend my wedding just because I was out of country during yours, I wish I could go back in time and attend yours. Well, if I am wishing for stuff, I wish you are here still. It is going to be bigger void that you created but I know you will be there looking at me from somewhere when I need your help/advice.

I swear among the many things that you taught me over the years, the most important thing was how to be a friend. You were one of 3 or 4 that I can always count on.

I miss sharing memories, miss the fun times we had during all the lab sessions of those 4 years, miss your companionship, miss your talks, miss your friendship though I know you will be out there somewhere thinking and worrying about your friends.

It is more hurting to know that from now on, only the memories are left but again, though I feel lucky to have them at the least. I have told you often and I am telling you again, Aarush is lucky enough to have you as his mom. Except that his luck is very much short-lived.

I would never digest the fact that you are gone forever and I want to treat you from now on as a best friend who is out of touch - who is always just a call away.

Take rest my friend,

Madhan.

Are you a pirate?

2012-04-21T16:20:00.000-07:00

"When I talk to non-entrepreneurs about the startup world I often use a pirate analogy. Not because I know that much about pirates, but the general stereotypes work well as an analogy.

Why did some people way back in the 17th century, or whenever, become pirates? The likely payoff was abysmal, I imagine. There’s a very small chance you’d make a fortune from some prize, and a very large chance you’d drown, or be hung, or shot, or whatever. And living on a small ship with a hundred other guys must have sucked, even for the captain.

But in my fantasy pirate world these guys just had really screwed up risk aversion algorithms. Unlike most of the other people they actually lusted after that risk. The potential for riches was just an argument for the venture. But the real payoff was the pirate life itself.

Also, it was nearly impossible to be an entrepreneur back then.

Now it turns out that most people in Silicon Valley are actually normal risk averse types. They carefully calculate the potential rewards of a startup before they join, taking into account stock options as well as salary. And also the resume value of a company.

Some of the richest people I know aren’t really entrepreneurs. They worked at HP and then moved to Netscape when it got hot. They made a fortune and then jumped to Google and made another fortune. And now they’re jumping to Facebook.

They may be very good engineers, or sales people, or marketing, or execs. But they ain’t entrepreneurs. They’re just resume gardening and they’re really no different from everyone else.

I don’t care if you’re a billionaire. If you haven’t started a company, really gambled your resume and your money and maybe even your marriage to just go crazy and try something on your own, you’re no pirate and you aren’t in the club.

That thrill of your first hire, when you’ve convinced some other crazy soul to join you in your almost certainly doomed project. The high from raising venture capital and starting to see your name mentioned in the press. The excitement of launch and…gulp…customers! and the feeling of truly learning something useful, you’re just not sure what it is, when the company almost inevitably crashes and burns.

Now that person is interesting. That person has stories to tell. That person is a man who has been in the arena.

There are lots of things that I will probably never experience in this life. Military combat. Being dictator of a small central American country. Dunking a basketball. Being a famous rock star. Or walking on Mars.

But one thing I have been, and will always be, is an entrepreneur. And damnit that feels pretty good. Because if I was a lawyer right now, even a rich lawyer, I’d always have wondered if I had what it takes to do something a little more adventurous with my life than work for someone else."

Original source: http://techcrunch.com/2010/10/31/are-you-a-pirate/

10 lessons from Einstein

2012-03-16T21:14:00.002-07:00

1. Follow Your Curiosity “I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.”

2. Perseverance is Priceless “It’s not that I’m so smart; it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”

3. Focus on the Present “Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”

4. The Imagination is Powerful “Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions. Imagination is more important than knowledge.”

5. Make Mistakes “A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.”

6. Live in the Moment “I never think of the future – it comes soon enough.”

7. Create Value “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.”

8. Don’t be repetitive “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

9. Knowledge Comes From Experience “Information is not knowledge. The only source of knowledge is experience.”

10. Learn the Rules and Then Play Better “You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.”

Quotes from Saravanan Meenakshi - Part 1

2012-03-08T14:07:00.000-08:00

Some of the best one liners I happened to listen to - From Saravanan Meenakshi

"நல்ல விஷயம் நடக்கறப்ப அத பெருசா உணர முடியாது

ஆனா ஒரு நல்ல விஷயம் நடகாதப்ப அந்த துன்பத்த easy அ உணர முடியும்"

Saravanan to Meenakshi - Ep 8

"போடா"
Meenakshi to Saravanan - Ep 20
(Though this is just a single word, the place and the way it is delivered, you feel she fell for him)

"எல்லாருக்கும் எல்லா நேரத்துலயும் புடிச்ச விஷயம் மட்டுமே நடக்குறதில்ல...நடக்குற விஷயங்கள புடிச்சதா மாத்திக்க வேண்டியது தான்"
Saravanan to Meenakshi - Ep 20
(My personal favorite. Remember telling something similar to batty often)

"ஆனா மனசுல இருக்குறத சொல்ல முடியாம போற மாதிரி ஒரு கொடும உலகத்துல வேற எதுவும் இல்லைங்க "
Saravanan to Meenakshi - Ep 21

(Infact this whole episode where he expresses himself to her is worth watching. )

"உலகத்துலேயே இப்படி ஒரு பார்வைய நான் பாத்ததே இல்லைங்க "
Saravanan to Meenakshi - Ep 21

"அவ கைய புடிக்கணும்ல....அப்ப அவ கால்ல விழுரதுல தப்பே இல்ல"
Saravanan's appa to Saravanan - Ep 31

" தப்பு பண்றவங்கள பாத்துட்டு சும்மா இருக்குறதும் தப்பு தான்"
Meenakshi to Saravanan - Ep 32

"மனசுக்கு புடிச்சவங்க கிட்ட எவ்வளவு கேவலமா வேணா மன்னிப்பு கேக்கலாம்"
Saravanan's dad to Saravanan - Ep 51

Signs you are getting old

2012-03-08T13:57:00.000-08:00

Watching the weather channel
Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up".
Older relatives feel comfortable telling adult jokes around you.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
Eating some junk food at 3 AM no longer qualifies as late dinner/early breakfast. It simply upsets your stomach.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
You catch yourself saying "these days.." followed by a complaint about the prices, or traffic, or film songs, or fashion or anything. Complaining endlessly about the present and comparing it to a supposedly "golden age" of the past.
Doing your own taxes.
Going to sleep before midnight every night.
And finally on a personal note - Dravid hanging his boots and Kohli becoming the vice-captain

படித்ததில் பிடித்தது!!!

2012-01-22T01:45:00.000-08:00

மழையே,

உன்னை எனக்கு ரொம்ப பிடிக்கும்.

ஏன் தெரியுமா?

நான் இருக்கின்ற எந்த நிலையிலும்

என் மேல் அவ்வளவு உரிமையோடு வந்து

விழுகிறது நீ மட்டும் தான்....

கொடுமையான ரசனை

கண்ணாடித் தொட்டி நீரில்

மீன்களை அடைத்து ரசிப்பதில்

என்ன ரசனை இருக்கப்போகிறது ???

கல்லறை

யார்

கைவிட்டாலும்,

என்னிடம்

வா,

உனக்காகவே

காத்து

கொண்டு

இருக்கிறேன் .

ஹைக்கூ

முள்ளில் தான் வாழ்க்கை

ஆனாலும்

சிரித்து கொண்டுதான் இருக்கிறது

"ரோஜா"

இடி, மழை.!

சூரியக் குழந்தையைத்

தொலைத்துவிட்டுத் தேடும்

கார்மேகத்தாயின் கதறலுடன்

கூடிய கண்ணீர்.!

Home away from home

2012-01-20T02:58:00.000-08:00

PS: This was one of very old blogs that I had in drafts for a long time and don't be confused if some of it don't make sense now.

I just look back at the Verizon days and think about that instant where I, along with Praveen, gave a serious thought about our higher studies plans. Well, we decided to give our GRE and TOEFL and leave for Masters after a lengthy discussion (Only he and some of my close folks know how and where we decided to go for it :-) ) And the rigorous preparation for the test needs a mention here. The 20 odd days that I took off from office for the preparation was nothing but a vacation for me. Rarely did I open the Barrons that during the course of those 20 days, I forgot the very purpose of taking off. Everything happens for a reason and the fact that Andi flunked all his IIM interviews happened to be a blessing in disguise. Otherwise, I would have missed many things in my life which I will write in detail later. The late night discussion we three had about what to expect in UIC gave me a more insight about higher studies in US.

After coming to UIC, I never really felt I am in a foreign country - Thanks to all the desis in and around UIC. Those initial days in Carpenter Street will remain in my thoughts atleast till I leave this city. Awesome food is what comes to my mind whenever I think of those days. Little did I know that I would be missing all that in another 3 weeks time. Ya, 3 weeks it is and finally we found an apartment opposite to "Bacci Pizzeria". 1007 1F (yes thats the house) was destined to witness all those cooking comedies, late night chats and cards game, movie times, F.R.I.E.N.D.S days, Birthday celebrations, pot luck, fights between the roommates, lengthy discussions about what to do for semester exams and of course gossips in the next 2 years

After house hunt finally got over, it was the GA hunt. All new students in UIC can be identified easily atleast for the first month or so. Anyone with a UIC map and a set of resumes roaming around with a look as if they lost a kidney can be branded as UIC fresher. It was that tough to find a GA that myself and Ganesh almost gave up any hope of finding GA after all the tough search that we did.

School started and kind of settled with things which can be termed later as 'THE ROUTINE'. Our stay at 1007 1F can be put into different eras like before and after Andi getting committed, before and after Eshwar's frequent visits, before and after batty's entry. And thanks to Eshwar – now most of the guys who visit us say ‘naan satharana aal illa’. All these eras need a special mention and I will throw light on them in separate blogs later.

Now that I got my EAD card and will be moving to Florida anytime soon, I just want to take a moment to re-live all the fun that 1007 1F saw in the last 2 odd years.

PS: This was supposed to be posted 18 months ago. My bad I had this in the drafts without even publishing. :(

2011 - A rewind!!

2012-01-20T02:53:00.000-08:00

There are so many things that happened in 2011 that I can't believe we are into 20 days of 2012 already. 2011 flew just like that it often makes me to feel that Time is like the wind, not only for flying fast but also it lifts the light and leaves the heavy.

Imagine a school student who gets to prepare for his exams, say for 20 odd days, gives the exams in the next few days and enjoys the vacation for another few days. Now imagine going through this for an entire year LITERALLY. That is how I would like to sum up 2011 personally.

The place I worked had some strict rules when it came to training, exams and certifications that I was made to toll hard for 4 5 months before I could complete the formalities. When I thought I completed my 6 months formalities well in time to start my work officially, I was in for a surprise wherein I was told that I need to complete next 6 months formalities full of tests and practice projects. Atleast for the first half, I had the cushion of watching ICC world cup while preparing for the tests. It was only at the fag end of 2011, I got another offer and quit here. (I was made to quit and that is another story altogether).

There are many moments that happened last year that I would like to take/cherish. Be it the non-stop tennis sessions during the summer, or my parents visit to madison, or the funniest 4 days that is the thanksgiving (later in this blog about this), or the surprise cake cuttings at Eshwar's birthday and Andi/Shalini's Wedding anniversary, or be it the news that Sridhar will be getting into Microsoft or the news about Pravin's wedding or the big news - Andi and Shalini to be parents in couple of months. These are just a few that came right off my head but as I said too many things happened in very short span.

I would like to remember 2011 for another reason - India's world cup win - which made me to realize certain things that I already mentioned in a note in my facebook account. And the projector that I bought for watching the world cup definitely goes with me to the grave for this memory no matter how tampered or damaged it becomes in the future.

This year also marks another important or strange event in my life. I spent one full year in the US. You may not wonder what is so strange about that after having been stayed here for like 3 years if you knew that I travelled to India 3 times the previous year ;).

Coming to the funniest thanksgiving part - we often feel that it is easier just to eat and sleep the whole day. Let me tell you it is not that easy as we found that out the hard way by doing that literally for the whole of 4 days. It was fun but not easy. Try sleeping, eating and repeating that for 2 days and you will know what I mean. A thanksgiving day next only to the famous egg fight thanksgiving day for sure :P

I was into 1 month of my career at this place that I work now when 2011 started and now after the 1st month of this year, I will be leaving this place. I never regret for leaving as I will be moving to a place where I am more used to. I am not sure whether I am prepared for my new role at Infy but I am all set and excited about moving to Chicago again. More excited about working in dotnet after a long gap. I never knew I would be this excited unless I made that trip to Peoria during the last few days of 2011. If not for Meenakshi's assignments, I don't think my joy for working with .Net would be triggered. Thus in a way, when 2011 started, it kind of threw me into working in a new technology but then when it ended it aptly made me to realize that how I enjoy working in .Net.

I am a firm believer that you get better each day as you learn something new knowingly or unknowingly. Infact, there is no difference between a 2 year old kid learning to spell the alphabets and a 20 year old learning to drive a car. Both learn what they don't know uptil that point of learning. Infact the 2 year old kid goes one step higher if you happened to compare it anyway - owing to the language difficulties it has and the fact that it does not know ultimately what it is going to do by learning the alphabets. Whereas the 20 year old knows what he can do by learning to drive. 2011 was a great teacher to me and I hope 2012 will be no lesser in that aspect. When I say this I get reminded about the story of the pencil and eraser. It was interesting to find the pencil very humbly apologize to the eraser that he was so sorry for him, for each time he made a mistake the eraser had to rub and rub and lose a part of himself. He was also sorry for him as he turned smaller and smaller and dirtier each day for all the mistakes the pencil made. The reply of the eraser is what that is impressive. He said he was happy to be doing his job and there was no need to be sorry as his work was to correct or rub out the mistakes the pencil made. The eraser said he did not want to lose the job he meant to do and asked the pencil to give him job satisfaction. Last year was the eraser here as it became small and eventually faded away in helping us to know our mistakes and giving a chance to rectify that in 2012 (Again a new eraser this time).

Better late than never - Happy 2012!!

Whats Love Got To Do With It

2010-10-05T22:18:00.002-07:00

Love. Its sought after. Cried over. Dreamed and written about. Its the air that we breath and without it we're forever gasping. Ok. What's all this hoopla that I'm writing about? Well, what I'm wondering about Today, is whether love is all that we cracked it up to be. Are we more in love with the image of Love than what love actually is?

The movies and the media have long touted the horn of love, making it seem that its something easy. They give us empty promises that we're all going to fall in love and those who haven't are substantially missing. But I really think what they are talking about is more Romance/Lust. Since love has an existence created of more than just hugs and kisses.

To me, Love is caring for a sick friend, wanting to stay with your boy/girlfriend, even on those days when you fight like a bunch of crazies, saying sorry to keep a relationship from dissolving, even when you know you're right. It is compassion and commitment. It's not easy. It's something you grow into over time. And when you've found it, it is like a shadow - never leaving your side. It's one of the most overused words in the English language, but seldom understand its magnitude. It's not sending a Valentines Day card because it's the norm, but giving your girlfriend a back massage after a long day of work...without being asked. Its accepting those around you and giving yourself to them..completely and unconditionally.

Thats the kicker there. Unconditionally. How many people do you know who've said they unconditionally love you or someone else, but to disappear when you really need them. Its only when the going gets tough, that you truly realize who actually loves you. Thats why I welcome the rain in my life. Because I would rather share my happiness with someone who has been there for me during my darkest days than people whose love is fleeting.

Unconditional love is rare, but if you are able to find it, consider yourself very blessed. So, for all those people who you love or hope to..think about what the word really means to you before you use it next time. Are you ready for all that it entails? And have the people in your life who've said it to you, fulfilled its responsibilities?

Just something for you to ponder.

Wishing you all love.

RIP MJ

2009-06-29T14:04:00.000-07:00

It was just another evening where I left office at around 5 and at the shuttle stop, when I heard that news from Praveen about a chaos breaking loose in this nation, it hit me like a ton of bricks – Michael Jackson is dead. I immediately find myself saying, despite never have been a hardcore fan of the big MJ – ‘O shoot! Damn….!’ I then spend the next few minutes reading the article and letting this absolute surprise sink into me. There is something about this news that just doesn't fit. Michael Jackson is not supposed to die. I am not sure why, but it just doesn't fit this way.

I guess it is with this unnerving stab of unprecedented wonder that the entire world (or at least most part of it) will react to the sudden exit of Michael. As a teen I still remember going crazy about the bass heavy beats of his ‘Thriller’, ‘Bad’, ‘Dangerous’ albums that somehow seemed to ooze with the ache of a human being who genuinely cared for others. If not for anything else, he will definitely be missed for being that one singular idol who, despite the variations of his life in the last decade, was always making news for all sorts of reasons. I am sure there are millions still out there who admired him and stood by him in times when he was accused of a dozen heinous crimes. Good, bad and ugly – Michael had seen them all.

There was a certain sense of being surreal that he always pulled off with aplomb. A factor that inspired various dancing styles (like the moonwalk), a dozen flashy attires and even the crotch grabbing frenzy that became synonymous with being able to dance like him. Our own local celebs like Prabhudeva and even Govinda were often compared, albeit quite unfairly, with Michael since that was the sort of benchmark he had created for himself. I say unfairly since I have always believed that any form of art is truly subjective. Each one has its own flair, its own charisma and its own worth. A fact that we Indians rarely acknowledge.

But then that is that. After half a century of what is easily one of the most eventful lives of our times, the King is dead. An era of what was possibly a historic time for music in humankind's existence, is now over. But all I hope now is that even in this untimely departure the King has taken, there is still some sense of respect that is given to his life and his achievements. One cannot weigh Michael against the scandals because rarely has there been a celeb who hasn’t been involved in anything outrageous. Heck, isn’t that why they are called that? But even so, I think its time to turn our backs to the stage, grab our groins and sweep back in the moon walk one last time saying ‘Michael, you will be missed you crazy freak.’ Its been 2 3 days since he left planet earth but the feeling that he is no more is not sinking in. I still feel that he is out there performing on some stage outside this world.

I am reminded of a popular joke we used to have in school that even after a nuclear holocaust the only two things that would survive would be a cockroach and Michael. I guess the roach won.

Rest in peace Mike.

2 Years in 2 Mins

2008-12-07T04:01:00.001-08:00

LOVE

2008-07-16T10:39:00.000-07:00

I am not the best person to write about this topic. I suck in this topic big time. But I can give a I-suck-in-this-point-of-view on this subject. This post may come out weak because this is really not one of my strongest topics.

What is love? It is that thing you develop on seeing girls in NIIT class, GRE coaching class, tuition class, same electronics & communication class. It is acheived by BE-senior-taking-junior-to-culturals,2nd-year-MS-helping-first-year-do-groceries-by-driving-her-around-in-a cheap-4th-hand-car, and finally also by being a rakhi-brother-promoted-to-lover.

If I were to make a conjecture, I would say - Love is a complex emotion. Being brought up in a exam-oriented environment most of us approach "love" as they would approach exams. This is a profound thing I learned about love. For example, if you want to ace an exam you can sit for 20 hours a day and crack it. Love is not that. Why? because Love depends on other people and other people are random. This takes away any structure out of the process and any hope of putting an algorithm. You might have heard "hard work leads to success" and stuff like that. But those are on things you can control. When it comes to love a person can do a helluva lot of hard work and it can amount nothing. Because minds are fickle. There is no more random thing than a person's mind. Hard work may not influence minds. I have seen people do a million things to impress a girl and it still turned out to counter productive. And there is no damn reason why that should be so. But thats how it is because you never know which direction minds will run for a given stimuli.

From talking to people who have indulged in this whole love thing. I think love gets compounded second-over-second mainly because of the extended fantasy sequences that goes on in the mind. The person-in-love imagines being with the girl, talking to her....Any advt, movie sequence the person sees, he extrapolates that stuff to apply to him and that 'special girl'. So without the girl being aware that he exists, he has (mentally) spent a zillion hours with her. So while he approaches her assuming the fantasy thing is reality, the girl still is focussed on the real reality. The girl could infact be thinking about some one else and going through the whole cycle. Most girls/boys dont realize that there is a big link-list of love-and-unrequited-love going on. If only the person down the list knew what was going on in the mind of the person who rejected him/her.

So a lot of the many who fall in love actually develop the gumption to propose. This could lead to a spectrum ranging from, "you spoilt the friendship", "I dont know why you got the vibe", "let me think about it" and even a possible "yes! thank! same here".

See... I think rejection is one of the things every person has to get over in life. Friends reject you, Employers reject you, colleges reject you, credit cards reject you and finally members of the opposite sex reject you. It is tough when it happens. But you move on. Everybody moves on. Its stupid not to move on. I personally believe (like many do) that "what doesn't kill you -- only helps you". Brooding on lost love and using that to ignore other important things is escapism. That will certainly kill you :-). The idea is to get on with it. It is tough but you have to get on with it. And you know what? You will move on. Thats the nature of life. There is no loyalty in hanging on to the past and thinking about the same girl. That is no loyalty. Loyalty is to self and for that you have to move on. To be frank in about 6 months it wont be a big deal. To be brutally frank it
is not a big deal. People can live without a lot of things. Love is easily one of them.

There is no point blaming the girl or telling others "she used me" etc. The girl is doing whats best for her. I am reminded of Kamal hassan's quote in an interview (sometimes he says awesome things). A person walks on the road and he steps over an insect without knowing it. Does it mean he has a vengance against the insect or has something against it. No! It is his nature to do that. He is doing his job and it is the nature of the insect to be stamped. The way I look at it - That is the way things have been arranged.

Let there be indiscriminate proposing…..

2008-01-29T11:41:00.000-08:00

I have discovered one thing today about relationships. Some people who are considering a person as a potential mate put a lot of thought into whether the person has what it takes to be a compatible mate.

Will the person fit in with your lifestyle, family, career goals, family goals or all the other things that are important to you? Do you think you want to wake up with this person every day? Do you truly believe that living with this person can enhance the quality of your life? Once you're sure, you simply pop the question. Shall we?

Another group of people spends a lot of time analyzing what the other person thinks of them. They try to interpret the potential partner’s reactions, openness to a relationship with them and try to read signs and signals. They are so apprehensive of the response that it takes aeons for them to just make an expression of interest.

It’s hard enough knowing your own mind about a person. Trying to guess what’s on someone else’s mind, especially when you are a mix of apprehension and hope about those feelings is somewhat disastrous.

I don’t see why it is not easy to ask a question to which you want to know the answer. Is it a fear of rejection? Is it a fear of losing whatever exists by trying to take it to a new level? Is it because you have no reason left to hope and have no direction to go in if the answer is negative?

Honestly, I can’t see many reasons why the simplest step is not the most obvious for everyone. And I believe that it probably has to do with the level of maturity of a person. A more mature person is not ashamed of his feelings and has the conviction to stand and fall by them. He’s able to recognize his own emotions, acknowledge them, articulate them and accept the other person’s right to do the same.

I remember so many instances when this “I have something to tell u” style of functioning killed romance altogether. Boys who write the girl’s name in blood; or write love letters and express their love to the girl’s friends in order to gauge her emotions; who try to throw out conversational gambits to see how she reacts in order to look for a clue.

I have seen a gamut of them in the course of my life. All this bumbling around has confused and repulsed the object of his affections instead of attracting her. The era where women reacted in righteous, puritanical anger at a proposal is long past. Women recognize that expression of interest is an okay thing to do.

Of course there will always be the few women who will brag about the new boy in the bag. And there will be women who need to have a proposal a day to keep low self esteem away, simply so they can look at the number of proposals they have received to bolster up their egos on bad hair days. At worst, she will giggle with her friends over the ridiculousness of the idea that you aspired to her.

These are strong arguments in favour of caution, if only to keep the egg off your face. But look at the other side. If that’s how shallow the object of your affection is, the less time spent analyzing her motives, the better. You can live down anything – including your occasional bad taste in mates.
After all, What am I waiting for now?????

Another weekend... Another Movie!!!!!

2007-12-08T11:59:00.000-08:00

Yes.... 4 movies in the last 4 weekends and this weekend is no different. Happened to see 'Kallori' and it is definitely worth watching. The director had a big reputation to live up to. For his previous directorial venture, Kadhal, was rated as one of the best films of its time, even by someone as discerning as Kamal Haasan.

Remember all those eternal college gags about taking just a notebook to class, sitting around doing nothing, wearing flashy designer clothes; dashing heroes, bikes, corny jokes et al? After watching Kallori you will forget all about them. This movie brings you the real McCoy -- college in its most realistic, believable and interesting format ever.

This movie is a simple story told in a straight forward manner. The film begins in a bus that has a lot of college students heading towards Government Arts College in a small town. It revolves around a group of friends. The movie goes on to narrate the college life with fun and colour. It shows the strength of the friendship besides showing the backgrounds of the friends.

It has a whole gaggle of newcomers, which sort of makes you wonder how you're ever going to distinguish one from the other. And it's a big gang -- nine friends who've been together right from school, and are now stepping side-by-side into the same history course in college.

The portrayal of these friends with varied background provides you an experience of living amidst the circle. The various colours and shades of each person and the emotional ups and downs keep the movie going. The depiction of the sublime friendship is near perfect.

Muthuchelvan is clearly the main protagonist -- the shy and silent guy eager to improve his lot. He has an aim in his life. Being an athlete, he wants to excel in sports and get a good job through sports quota to give his poor family a new lease of life.

Then there's Adhilakshmi who eats all the time; Kayalvizhi, who dispenses advice (irritating at times :( )and generally sees to the group's good behavior; Ramesh, the joker of the group who speaks with a southern slang; Kamatchi, a rich landowner's son who walks around with loads of jewelry;

Into this remarkably endearing and rural group suddenly stumbles Shobana, a wealthy Bangalore - educated girl, who finds herself there only because of a twist of circumstance. She is strikingly different from the lot. She looks fair. The nine friends are wary of her at first, as she's morose and aloof -- but a chance encounter quickly brings them together, and they bond as friends in the most natural way possible -- by learning English!The girl soon becomes part and parcel of the group.

It is definitely the screenplay and excellent dialogues that capture your attention at once and make you stick to your seat. Not once, in such a done-to-death premise, does the movie lose your attention. The average rural and economically-challenged southern Tamil Nadu college-goer is brought to life in demure salwars, swathed dupattas, tightly braided, and ordinary shirts.

Muthu sidles into your heart with his earnestness, as does Adhilakshmi, who constantly hogs all the food that comes her way.

To them, Shobana is like a goddess straight from heaven. Soon enough, though, she shows herself to be an ordinary young girl with no extraordinary airs -- and becomes a part of them. And during those moments, when she suspects her friends of stealing an opportunity of expressing her love for one of the group, her mutinous face and angry expressions are perfect. And when she finally realizes that her love is not all that one-sided, her face is a treat to watch.

Kayal, who's forever ensuring that everyone's on their best behaviour plays the part of the well-intentioned friend who confuses issues so well, that you wonder if she's even acting.

Shobhana feels for the Muthu and helps him achieve his goal. In fact every friend does the same thing but Shobhana does it with some sort of special attachment. Slowly the love develops in the minds of both but they chose to put it on the back seat for the sake of the larger friendship they share with the group. In fact the poor lovers don’t even share their feelings.

The narration moves on to a point when they are compelled by the circumstances to come out with their feelings but life has some other designs. The director has remarkably recreated the college atmosphere and the bondage between the friends. The script has deftly handled the struggle between love and friendship. No scene or turning point seems to be unnatural and contrived. He has amazingly extracted natural performances from the cast that is full of newcomers. He has thankfully avoided melodrama and cliched sentiments.

The climax is powerfully conceived and executed. The shocking mishap that reminds you a real life gruesome happened in Tamilnadu a few years ago. No doubt that it is credibly portrayed. But it doesn’t fit well into the script which moves in a different path right from the beginning. The climax has no answers to the questions raised by the proceedings. It actually evades the crucial issue of the struggle between friendship of a group and the love between two persons among them.

The climax is unexpected -- as is the whole movie, pretty much. The director has made clever use of unlooked for twists and little turns top make sure no part of the movie appears stale. And here he is doing what comes best to him: take an ordinary plot and weave a believable story around it.

The cinematography is perfection itself, capturing the dustiness of the surrounds and the college accurately. The campus and the near by areas have been captured so naturally that sometimes you forget that you are seeing a movie. The picturisation of rain sequence stands out.

Joshua Sridhar's music has been used well, montages of college life and young love flitting through the song, especially Sariya Thavaraa. The theme music and the way it is used are effective.No unnecessary dance numbers mar the proceedings, and violence, except when it adds colour to the story, is devoid of gore.

Kallori might be devoid of action, item songs and glitzy costumes -- but what it gives you is the real deal. And reality is always much more interesting than fiction.

Overall, the movie is has natural narration, amazing visual quality, effective music and credible performances. It is a realistic portrait of a rural college which depicts the friendship, love, possessiveness and the climax is really something unexpected.

Needless to say that I relived my college days for some 2 odd hours while watching this movie. My rating ----> 4/5

ThE LiViNg LeGeNd!!!!

2007-11-15T13:55:00.000-08:00

Wonder-boy at 16....
Hero at 19....
Captain at 23.....
Legend at 25.....
God Of Cricket at 34....

Yes, thats Sachin for you!!Well, this is not an attempt to write an elegy about this man.

Our country has many gods – the Durga is not revered with the same vigour outside Bengal, while the Ganapati is Maharashtra’s elite deity. Muslims and Christians have their own God. We have appropriated the various avatars of the almighty and jealously cling to them.

But no one appropriates this man. Yes, the Little Master belongs to India – from every little town to the bustling metropolis.

Life has many experiences in store for us, but it leaves very few permanent imprints. His exuberant celebrations after the final ball of the Hero Cup semi final, his feats amidst the Middle Eastern desert storm and violating the dreams of Shane Warne were such imprints. We grew up being fanatical about our little champion.

It is no longer fashionable to take less than 5 seconds to answer when asked who our favourite cricketer is.

Well, it has been just few months ago where newspapers headlines such as "Endulkar" were seen almost daily. But the class of the man is such that he might end up 2007 with most runs scored by an Indian.

"God is back", hoped a journalist upon his explosive return to one-day cricket after injury when he blasted that 141* against the Windies after a layoff of nearly 6 months. But obviously that was more a spark than a blaze.

When a batsman scores 163, the others are supposed to fade. But the 1,00,000-odd people at the Eden Gardens about eight years ago were deflating their lungs not at Mohammed Azharuddin, who had, admittedly, played a gem of an innings.

86 balls, 79 runs – 12 fours and 2 sixes. This was the majestic Tendulkar at his very best.

Rahul Dravid must’ve felt dejected at the huge cheering that erupted at his dismissal after making a typically assured 86 off 150 balls. The crowd knew they had lost a star, but a master was about to take centre stage.
Going down the nostalgic lane, it is amazing how much of my teenage life I remember revolved around Sachin and his innings. I just get remembered of the days where I had feigned illness on a match day just to watch him play. There were plenty in my class who would have sneaked a radio into the class just to be updated ball by ball how Sachin (who cared about the team's score?) was progressing.

I ,along with one of my classmates, in my 8th std missed an exam just to watch his batting in a test match against the mighty Aussies ( oh what is the wrath of the principle and parents when compared to the master dancing down the track and giving Warne the nightmares of his life? Nothing was comparable to it and nothing could have compensated missing it.)

There were times when we used to switch off the TV sets and switch on household chores when Sachin got out.

How many tenth standard students will take guard against the likes of Imran Khan,Wasim Akram,Waqar Younis ? Yes he did exactly 18 years back. From the brilliant 119 at Perth,the pulsating 155 at Chennai to the rock solid 241 at Sydney we have seen many faces of Sachin's breathtaking heriocs.

Seeing the way he belted the Pakistan attack in this 4th odi at Gwalior, we can easily say that sachin is the master of 90's (both year and the score :) )

Most of us can only imagine what it must have felt like when the Don was out for a duck in his last test inning. Not the feeling of sadness that a splendid cricketer and the greatest batsman ever had played his last inning, but the feeling of tragedy and the sort of frustration that might have crept inside avid statisticians of the time, can hardly be fathomed by us today.

It is not everyday, after all, that a batsman misses out on averaging a 100 in test cricket by just 4 runs!

Something that might just come close to that sort of feeling is probably what cricket followers world over must be going through right now, looking at Tendulkar's rut of falling in the 90s!
A question creeps into the mind. Didn't we all want Sachin of the nineties? Funny as it may sound, it's also true! The man has been batting as if he is possessed! I personally feel he is at the peak of his batting prowess.He is not breaking a sweat at all when he is scoring his runs! The astonishing fact is, unlike a few months ago, when the scene of a cramped up little master limping back to the pavilion at The Oval haunted fans all over the globe, in his last few innings, he hardly seems as if he is tiring, and certainly looks good for plenty more!

He has scored truck loads of runs in the last four tournaments. He is also nearing milestones like 16K runs, and also 1500 runs for a record third time in one day cricket at the highest level! After 18 years of test and one day cricket, its mind boggling how the runs still keep flowing! Hopefully, this form will be carried into the test series as well!

But for now, lets all raise a toast! Exactly 18 years in Indian colours! Has there ever been a bigger advertisement for the beautiful sport?

Things of Past..Washed away...

2007-10-29T12:46:00.000-07:00

Last sunday...Mann..was it Chennai..Couldn't believe my own eyes.. I doubted my sense of smell when I smelt wet sand...Checked out through the window...It was so cloudy with heavy downpours right from the night before.....Told to myself..'Don't miss this chance'..Went out with an umbrella in one hand and with my jerkins on..... It was pouring the whole day and I couldnt believe the darkness that prevailed at around 3 in the evening...Was an experience to cherish...I dropped back @ my place an hour later...

I went right away to the terrace...not wantin to miss a single drop of rain that was showered..As I wanted check out the droplets strike hard on the surface of Earth...was a spectacular sight...I loved it..Just then...My sweet little cousin who was standing next to me made a simple statement from nowhere...that made so much of sense - he simply said - 'Hey dude, look @ what the rain does, Dirt n garbage accumulate on the road all day,slowly but steadily they begin to choke them up...But the rain is a blessing that right from the moment it hits the earth, it does a lot of good...a boon for water lovers like us...n a lot of goodies are brought along with it in various perspectives...But the fact tat I noticed only the next day was that, It jus clears all the debris on the surface n corners them..Making the road to life a clean n clear patch for you to drive now and tomorrow...The debris of the past are meant to be washed away...!!..'

I told to myself...the rain taught me something that I'll never forget...'Don't load Ur heart which is just the size of your fist with so much of heavy feelings...wash away all the hatred n hard feelings..ain't worth living with them...'

fIlLiNg VoIds...

2007-10-25T12:23:00.000-07:00

Just got back home after getting drenched in the rain and here I am in front of my PC listening to my fav songs...........Too many things on my mind...yes...happened to see my TOEFL score now and the very short conversation that I had with my friend made me realize the fact that nothing is permanent.... now I feel that I cant expect everyone everything everytime....I decided to close my eyes n put my thoughts away...for a while though as I knew escapism is not the solution for wutever was runnin in my mind...!!!

Thinking about all those who made an impact in my life.....who wanted more of my attention though I tried my best to give my everyday share of time tat I can spend for others who mattered to me...who are a lot more than wat am puttin out in mere words here...n d list jus goes on wid the best friends I hav n to every person who needs my attention...N with every person I thought of and tried to brief my relationship I shared wid them in few sentences...I wasn't able to do it in mind as there were too many to think of...I was afraid I would loose count...I decided to pen down their names n those few sentences...

Jus as the list went by I found out one thing pretty common...All those relationship's..of all forms...Friends, cousins, elders..startin right from my parents to my sibling n even ppl who were strong enough to etch their name in my mind though its only once I've met them...Everyone were unique in their own way...But they all did the same thing..They at some point or the other did fill tat empty spaces of happiness n meaningfulness in life n still lived their life...

It was jus then I realized tat whoever U meet n whoever is there in Ur life is meant to be there to fill in THOSE so called meaningless VOID's of emotions...!!!

Be Happy With What You Have....

2007-10-19T12:28:00.000-07:00

It was just another day at office and I did not have much to do or work on back at office for a few weeks now..except for a constant push from my PM to something that would do the team some good...I was tired after playing some Table Tennis with few colleagues..(One good reason why I go to the office)..And off I was with plans of going home and having a nice dinner and right mood to hit the sack...

But then, gone are the days where I used to sleep @ around 10 and these days I sleep and wake up on the same day (...ie sleeping @ 4 and getting up @ 11 :)). Thought of penning down these thoughts which happened some 2 3 yrs back when I was returning home from my cousin's place @ tambaram.

**********************

There I was outside the railway station waiting in the queue to get the tickets and listening to my favourite tracks on my walkman and humming the tune.....I was all happy that I met my cousin after very long time and it was time to return home...

Everything was right till the time I boarded the usually crowded Chennai local train..and I was all lucky to get a seat at the right spot...next to a window and the wind was just brushing my face...

I looked up and there she was...Clad in a black typical girlish Salwar-kameez..She was all laughing and giggling...I liked the ambience she was filling the place with n the way she was making her companions laugh.I couldn't take my eyes off her and God knows for how long I was staring at the beautiful creation of God I've seen so far...The train screeched to a halt and that jerk brought me back to the shore and prevented me from drowning in the beauty of this girl in front of me...

She was everything any normal guy could ask for..beautiful,witty,full of Life and above all very sweet..She even sang when a small boy who accompanied her asked her to..

Soon all the excitement came down due to some unknown reason..And now there she was sittin silently in front of me and I did try to observe her...Soon to my amazement I found her looking straight at me..Not moving her eyes off me..!!

I did not know what was wrong with her or in other words I wondered 'Is something wrong with me'...!!!...I thought if she was trying to see someone sitting right behind me..So I moved from the place where I sat to the adjacent to my current position..But that did no good...She was still looking at the same place where she did but the only change was that it was empty now...

I wondered...'Wut is she looking at...!!!'...I did not have the guts to ask her this but I was too curious to find out..I wanted to..I got friendly with the kid that made her sing in her sweetest of voices...N soon I knew she was with her parents..I did not waste a chance in introducing myself to the others and to my shock she was still looking at the same place...Not even winking her eyes...!!

I decided to put across a question now..I asked the kid his name..Then curious to know wut her name was..I went questioning him about everyones name and finally ended up with knowing her name - (I dont really remember her name now :( )..She was still doing the same strange thing to which I was now used to..I striked up a conversation with her as would any other guy - A default 'Hello..!!'...

She responded but still looking at the same spot..That was it..I could not tolerate this anymore...I'm not that sort of a person who feels comfortable with the strangers right from the word go but this time I wanted to clarify the doubt..And I had to do it fast as my stop was jus 2 stations away..

I got all my courage together and asked her - 'If U don't mind can I ask you something..Why is it that you don't look up at the person when you speak..?'...And the reply shook me up..it was her little naughty brother saying..'anna..akkavaala paaka mudiyathu' ("My sister cant see")..And suddenly everything seemed too silent and distant for me..I didn't know how to react..I restricted myself to a mild - 'Sorry..!!'..and I did remain silent..She said..'Don't be..'..It is something I'm used to and I can't complaint about it...I'll have to live with it..'..The train halted and it was my destination..I said bye n left..patting the kid on his head..n portraying a very obvious fake smile..!!

I started walking the regular lane from the station back home and today it was not the usual walk...Suddenly my walkman sounded strange to me..I turned it off...And walked..
Thoughts of the train journey flashed in my mind..'She had everything,she was beautiful,a nice sweet and nice..She was like a girl whom I could introduce to my parents and relatives as my soul-mate...For that matter any guy's parent..but why it had to happen to her..!!!...'

Even before this turmoil in my mind was over I reached home..I decided not to think much about it as she was not the only one with such a condition..!!I decided to sleep..but there was something that was haunting me..I let my mind run wild..
These were my innermost feelings..-'How many times have I complained to myself and to others as to how boring life was...How many times have I told someone that Life wasn't fair with me...How many times I have felt for mere petty earthly things...'..Even though I had evrything that I needed for my basic necessity...'SURVIVAL'...!!!

Something shook my whole mental condition..I could still recollect her words.."It is something I'm used to and I can't complaint about it...I'll have to live with it.."..

I thought to myself..n decided..I'm gifted and I'll not complaint about a thing from that moment...!!I told myself - Be Contented with what you Have...!!!

A rain drop...:))

2007-10-18T14:54:00.000-07:00

It is 3.30am now as I type this blog, slight drizzling outside and man....the smell of wet sand...

Just putting myself in the position of a lovely soothing drop of rain...

I am created, used and destroyed and recycled...and all these without my consent...bcos nature wants me that way...but will all this be possible all by myself..

The sun, using its heat boils me up into vapour, sending me up and above where mere mortals do not reach and wow, it is much peaceful and serene there than the wicked earth beneath...a placid state of self realization with many folks like me around, not knowing why they are here but they are there...Do any of us on Earth know why we are here...??

As this thought goes through my mind...I hear heavy bangs around me and there I am, in the roller coaster already not knowing where I am gonna land with a bang...might be in a farmers land...who will wish me with his heart content...or just another drop of water in the mighty unfathomable oceans...or in some party spoiling the whole fun and people cursing me and my kin from the bottom of their heart...here comes the SPOIL SPORT...or in many of those wet fearing folks holding the umbrellas where i manage to trickle down as small drops from its pointed edges...and people stamping over me and sueing me for making their boots wet, and not worrying about the pain that I go through when I get stamped by them...or making a rain lover wet and happy and he cherishes every bit of me running all over him/her and thanking the heavens for sending me to him...
It is all decided in the very last second as to where I may fall and that decides whether I am a curse or a blessing...It is all perspective...

But like it or not...this is what my life is and everything is a matter of external influence and driven by many things around me...

If you are wondering what is this post all about and confused...so am I...;))...try to look at it from the my perspective and you will feel wat I want to convey...

Signing off till then...

Your Rain Drop...!!!

With LOVE...!!!

2007-10-17T15:37:00.000-07:00

Well..I am trying to find out a meaning for this feeling that makes someone who falls in it got through a whole roller coaster ride with almost all other feelings...!!

Possesiveness...Happiness...Hatred...Sympathy...Pain...Pleasure and the list could just go on...and this page would end...

But, such an emotion that acts as a root cause for many other emotions depending on the persons then state of mind...such a lovely abstract entity...rather the most complicate abstract entity man can ever experience...Is it worth to understand the meaning of this word from a lifeless sheet of paper in the dictionary..??I do not think so...

Many say that, you will not feel the importance of something when you possess it...but with Love...you will not understand the importance of anything/anybody else when Love possesses you...accept it or not...but its the fact...!!!

I am making this statement as general as possible...but put yourself in the place of someone who is in Love...and I think you will agree with me...

MOVIE REVIEW

2007-10-16T14:15:00.000-07:00

Of course, Tamil MA aka Katrathu Tamil has evoked much interest before its release, which prompted me to watch this film.

The film has created an urge in me to write my very first review online. I read the articles of movie critics about the film before sitting before my box to type my views.

Many said the debutant director Ram is confused and the lead character is psychopath. But I would rather say that the viewers failed to follow the thin line that interconnects the scenes…. Prabhakar’s, a postgraduate in Tamil, search for recognition in the society, which is imbalanced, his search for love and a simple man’s inability to fight the injustice.

Of course, there are flaws in the movie... but it succeeds, to a great extant, in projecting the social imbalance. The movie is in first person narrative about a mentally disturbed person.

Prabhakar, being a postgraduate in Tamil, lands him in a teaching job, which fetches him a meagre Rs. 2,000 as salary. He happens to see the death in close quarters. He was ill-treated in front of his pupils by a cop and tries to commit suicide unsuccessfully. He lands in jail and while trying to escape from the police, he commits his first murder. He kills the ticket cark and says “I felt like god, when I killed him.” He says this when he records his confessions in a video, catching hold of a cameraman (Karunas).

Prabhakar narrates his run for life and murders he commits… But he never justifies his killing… neither the director try through other characters.. (The dialogue from Karunas is a desperation to keep Prabhakar, who sitting with a gun, cool…but many misunderstood this scene).

For Prabhakar, his only peace is Ananthi, his childhood friend and classmate. The Director deserves a pat for handling the love between the two so elegantly… The scenes of past and the present narrate the love between the two… Starting from mortuary, where Prabhakar met Ananthi after he left her in childhood, to the house, where he finds her again as a prostitute.

Dialogues such as “you master American English accent for money, but you will not speak in Tamil, which is your mother tongue, properly (Prabhakar dialogue with a BPO employee) are the film’s strength.

Jeeva shines and fits into the charter well… an award winning performance in deed…. Whether his outbursts after the ill-treatment or expressing his longing to stay forever with his ladylove, Jeeva scores….

The cinematography and the BGM are two pillars on which the movie stands firmly… Particularly the scenes at Maharastra’s dry and parched terrains are beautifully filmed.

Yuvan is at his best in the movie… ‘Para Para Pattampochi, Paravaiyin kootil’ will stay in the mind…

If u wanted to see two fights, six songs, comedy and romantic scenes that worth your ticket money, this movie is not for u…

Watch this movie if you love to encourage film making with a care for the society….

Champagne or Cyanide

2007-06-18T13:07:00.000-07:00

Its so prodigious how fast time is running! I am here to pen about my transition as a college student to a fresher (not anymore) in verizon, after having been completed my first year in glamorous (atleast when seen from the outside) IT industry. Well, the induction programme got underway on this same day one year back. It was more like doing something to keep the whole junta engaged. An amazing fun filled 3 4 days in Grand Residency which is still reinvigorated in my memories. The induction programme and the soft skill training were pursued by the so called technical training @ kottivakkam. Only two things are worth making a remark when it comes to the training centre @ kottivakkam. First is, yes the variety of food that they provided and then the games and songs in the post lunch session :-). These training sessions were more like attending a lecture class in college (for two reasons :- strength was very less and we never cared to listen , :p )

I cant believe that it was one year before that I used to plan a week with some 100 bucks and now with two three credit cards in pocket, planning where to swipe the cards. College canteen, Tea shops were the favorite hot spots where I used to spend hours together, having a hearty chat with my buddies forgetting the whole world. But now Cafe Day, Quickies, Baristas have taken those places. What a coffee cost 2.5Rs last year has now gone up to 50Rs a cup!

Those days in college, I used to laugh for nothing, while playing or while chatting, or even when I fail in a paper wondering how I got those marks for an empty paper!!! And these days I rarely smile, forget about laughing!! Well, that s IT for you.

Coming back to the initial days in verizon, I was fortunate enough to be put into a team where there is no work pressure at all. The only problem that I had was changing of workstation. Yes, the present workstation that I have is my 8th. (8 workstation in 12 months and I am not joking!) I was even asked to move to Hyderabad which I refused. My initial 2 3 months at verizon was like this - Coming to the office at 11 and leaving at 8. I never felt like I was part of any team and it was more like rat in the maze looking for cheese. Gone are the days where I used to remember my entire classmates' name that too in the alphabetical order, and here, I rarely remember my team mates' name (not my direct team mates' though - FYI I was the only one in my team when I was put under my PM ). Life seemed to have been smooth till they changed my project and the whole timing had been disturbed.

I had seen late nights only on the eve of the exam during college days, where I rely on some of my friends to wake me at night 1 or 2. And how can I forget those last minute tensions in exam, I remember that only just before entering the exam I found that I forgot to revise an important question that my friend suggested that it would surely appear on that exam. I rush back and flip those Xeroxed pages with tension. But these days I start from my house whenever I feel like and stay late at the office till 1 or 2 in the night to fix something and deliver something to unknown client who is at US . I used to type aimlessly at the useless word document that my PM asked me to finish with his tailor made smile(some of my friends know what I mean by his tailor made smile). Loads of tension with calls from home, with my eye lids eager to kiss each other and I promise them to allow it a little later, cursing Bill Gates for inventing MSWord. Thats how pathetic life is!!

Despite all these, I do have some moments to cherish. Regular Team outings, chatting during lunch,snacks and tea times, TT games, late night chess with friends(though I lose most of the times :( ), new set of friends are all some positives out of this new venture in verizon.

If asked Champagne or cyanide, I would say the past one year has been a mixture of both champagne and cyanide with the former dominating the latter. Writing all these to celebrate my first year @ verizon, where it seems I am in my own desert and I have realised that I am moving from the warmthness of Oasis to chase a mirage. If given a chance, I would pay again to have those memorable college days again than to earn by these monotonous life.

Nevertheless, its party time now and my congratulations to all those who had joined with me in verizon (and ofcourse still in verizon :p).

TESTIMONIALS UNLIMITED!!!!

2007-03-05T11:52:00.000-08:00

Fydor Dostoevsky once said, “We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers, who begin to interest us at first sight, somehow suddenly, all at once, before a word has been spoken.”As I stated in my previous blog, here I am writing about some of the people that I have met in verizon who were once strangers to me but not anymore!!!! Well the order in which I write about has got nothing to do with anything

Anand Sagar:

Well, there has not been a single day in the office where we have not discussed about cricket and especially sachin...the ever smiling friend of mine who can do anything for sweets (I knew I escaped from the birthday bumps just because of the sweets I gave him :p )....cricketer, tt player and I guess he plays all sports on earth except chess (which requires brain ;) )...its been a short span since I have met him but it looks as if he has been my pal for a long time... and one thing that you should avoid while going out for lunch with him is "DONT ASK HIM WAT TO EAT"... the reply would be "ANYTHING NON VEG" even before we complete the question....he will be well settled in MBT Noida when I post this blog and he will definitely be the part of the happy times that I had in verizon... all the best mate!!!

Bragadeesh:

I came to know braga (as I call him) during the induction programme and the subsequent training in kottivakkam...one lazy fellow who just cant live a single day without calling me vetti...he is spontaneous at watever he says and I still cant forget the very sentence he told after phalgun and others were arguing that his team cheated in some event in so called soft skill training , this fellow took the mic and said "This is just the live example of how losers will react" and oops!! everyone kept quiet......he has his own ways of keeping a conversation going and damn fast in sending sms....whenever I think of him, his sarcastic smile and the way he tells, "posukunu solitiye da", only comes to my mind... in a nutshell, good friend to spend time with....

Balamurugan:

Mr punctual!!! Aravindhan's (my college mate) school mate and all I knew about him even before joining verizon was that he was good in putting nuts...and he along with braga used to pull my legs right from the training days (creator of all my nicknames - dotnet madhan, excel madhan , vetti madhan.....) he used to come to my workstation just to see someone else :p and dunno y he stopped that of late...he is never short of doubts....I guess I should use his spmid for making pace entries as I have worked more for his project than I did for mine!!! And I lost count on how many dvds and cds I gave this fellow and how many he returned bac....one person who always blackmails me with one matter or the other and dunno when I am gonna escape from that...In a nutshell, he is sort of a person who never cares about anything in the world!!!!
Aswin Dwarakanth:

I happened to know aswin via yahoo chat and later came to know that he was my college senior and later came to know that he was working in verizon ( well I got placed in verizon at that time)...looks very casual by the way he talks... my only source of reference in watever I did so far in verizon ... right from joining the company to the coding thingy that I had done so far, he had helped me out a lot...well he will be having a galla time in US by this time and I wish him all the very best for all his future endeavours

Devi:

My orkut friend initially, remember her scrapping me asking about how to prepare for verizon recruitment thingy and then she got abscond suddenly....one girl who can be irritated very easily just by sending some mokka forwards (needless to say that I send some bulk forwards ;p)... no contacts of late (it is to do with my regular bunking these days)....its been a looooong time since I saw her last in olympia building and I remember asking her whether she changed company...she is indeed very punctual in leaving the company at 6 sharp!!!to put it short, a very good friend of mine

Sandhya:

Came to know her through Devi, Sandhya is my sametime friend if I can put it that way (sametime is the local messenger we use in verizon)...an ardnet fan of cricket and often updates me with the scores whenever any match is being played...one of the most workaholic person I have ever come across as she always keeps starring the monitor....I dont think she knows me even now as we hardly speak with each other...I dont think I know much about her and to put it short, a more silent girl!!!

Janani:

My search engine in verizon, this girl is very helpful and she has answers to all the technical doubts that I hav in dotnet...came to know her during the training days in kottivakkam and a source of comedy when it comes to pulling her legs.... she can talk non-stop (non-sense!?!?!?)... busy bee in her team and well, I cant stop laughing when I think about the way she speaks tamil at times :p....be what you are and let success knock your door often in whatever you do. GOOD LUCK for your MS!!! in a nutshell, a very good friend of mine

Thames:

He is a sort of guy who is never short of worries...keeps worrying about one thing or the other... there were days where we both wasted our productive hours in the office just to discuss about who will lead India in the worldcup and which team will win...poet,cricketer,basketball player as he claims ...this guy is damn good in putting nuts and I mean it :p!!! keeps thinking about organising some outing or the other and I still remember the get together that we both planned (I remember that for only one reason ;) ) hope u get the one among the 26 in ur hitlist(well,it was 26 when I post this blog) !!!

Still got loads of people to write about and it is 2 in the morning now as I type this line :( !! Let me continue with this in my next blog or may be I will update in this blog as and when I get time

WHAT AN YEAR!!!!

2007-01-03T17:06:00.000-08:00

To begin with, My new year wishes to everyone....another year has gone by and what an year 2006 was for me... so many memorable events to cherish and quite a few unfortunate happenings as well...Here we go "2006 - a Round up!!"

2006 started pretty much dull for me as we had our last semester exam on jan 2nd(damn flood in chennai!!) and for which we missed even our final year tour. Hardly a week's gap after the exam and we were made to slog for the final sem project. My project mates were as lazy as me and we made very little infact no progress in our project(We changed the project before each review) and believe me I dont even know the title of my project. Last sem in college was mainly spent by playing cricket in college the whole day rather than by working on the project and stuffs. I hardly realized that I am going to miss these wonderful days in another few months.

Then one fine sunday in feb, our class guys made a visit to MGM dizee world and it was one awesome day. MGM was ours that day. Thanks mainly to Aravind.C for organizing something like this.

Then came the photo session and the farewell. It was well done by our juniors, the third years in particular. To be frank, we never did something like this to our seniors. The momento they gave was one of the most priced possession in my life.

Instincts 2k6 - The inter college culturals was a grand success and an amazing three days in my college life. Another chance to meet some of my friends in other colleges. It was hardly days left before my final review and we knew that it would be yet another flop. But things changed dramatically and we had our project done along with powerpoint presentation and the report, all within a day!!! Change of fortunes atlast (Well, only few in the college knew that we downloaded the entire project). And more comedy of errors awaited us in the final review. I hardly knew the title of my project entering into the review and I was supposed to give the introduction part(U can imagine what had happened --- No comments!) When CS was explaining the source code, I cudnt stop laughing. He was in some form explaining the code as if it was our code(Anand, if u r reading this blog, dont ask me about the title of my project!!)

Then came the college day in April. Unfortunately I missed that bcos of the demise of my grandma(mom's mom). Well that was one unfortunate thing to have happened last year. I can say anytime that I miss her as she used to be the only soul on earth to be in my side whenever an argument pops up in my house. And I still remember her saying that she vud ve wished to see me go for a job after finishing BE. But then, time has its say as she passed away 2 months before I joined verizon. (U had been and will be a special person in my life and I will always remember u, grandma!!!!)

The days after the college day went dull for me as I was ill for more than some 10 days and cudnt really start the preparation for the final exams. Thanks mainly to Mahadevan for coming to my house during those days and the final two exams were a cakewalk.

Then came the happiest 6 days of the year for me!! Yes, a trip to goa with my close buddies. It was one awesome trip and stay at sterling resort was too good. Except for the money that we lost in anjuna beach, everything went fine. And a trip to remember for lifetime. (Ajay, a million thanks for this!!)

Right after coming to chennai, got the call letter from verizon asking me to join on june 19th (Thankfully, got posted in chennai!!) And june 19 2006 turned out to be a special day in my life. Little did I realize that I vud be meeting some of the special persons (no puns intended :) )in my life, the first time. The induction programme was arranged in Hotel Grand and so was the induction!!!Three days of fun by the name "Soft skill training" and then came the technical training in kottivakkam. The first thing that comes to my mind when I think of Technical training is the awesome food they provided there(damn saravana bhavan in the cafetaria!!). Too many northies in my track and all I cud manage in Hindi is "ek gaon mein....."

Well, the training days were mostly monotonous - Getting up early, leaving home for training, have fun in the first session, good lunch, games and songs after lunch, start for home at 6, watching football(FIFA worldcup that time!!), back to bed!!!(wish those days return again)

And they started playing with my workstation once I joined verizon after the training. Initially got posted in olympia, after a few weeks moved to viceroy and now am back to olympia. There was a period wherein I was changed to 4 different workstations in a span of 6 weeks (worst period tat was!!)

Soon after the training got over, it was time for me to say "bye bye" to some of my friends who left for US for their MS. Wish I had accompanied them for the same instead of searching in google for 2 hrs to write 2 lines of code (thats how pathetic life has turned out to be!!)

One memorable event to have happened last year was the betrothal of my very close buddy Manikandan. Nice guys get nice girls and so does he. His departure to bombay for his training was as emotional as it can get. Of all these years I have known him, I had hardly seen him shed tears and I saw him do that, that day!!! Check my previous blogs to know about that!!!

As I was getting settled with the work environment, the probation period of 6 months in verizon got over and here I am writing about the events happened in 2006!!To say the least, 2006 has brought so many changes to my life. Wait for the next blog to find about some of the people I have met in verizon

And once again wishing everyone a happy 2007!!!!!!!!!