Three Weeks Worth of Junkmail. I used to see this this volume in one day!

There was only one reason I used to go to my mailbox every day — junk mail.  I used to spend at least 20 minutes a day on snail mail.  The routine went something like:

• Drive to mailbox
• Get out of car
• Get mail
• Accidentilly spill piles of junk mail
• Pick up junk mail
• Drive home
• Sort junk mail from bills
• Throw out junk mail
• Repeat

Eventually, I had enough.  Six months ago I resolved to eliminate most of my snail/junk mail.  The method outlined below takes less than ten minutes and eliminated 90% of my junk mail.

First Step: DMA Opt-Out

DMA Choice is the Direct Marketers Association opt-in/out page. Unless you specifically request a catalog or mailing, and unless you already have an established relationship with a company, removing your name from this mailing list should eliminate a great deal of snail mail clutter. Create an account by going to: https://www.dmachoice.org/.

Last Step: Get Rid of Credit Offers

Apparently the major credit bureaus did not want to place nice with the DMA, so they created there own website.  OptOutPrescreen is the Consumer Credit Reporting Industries opt-in/out page, and from here you can remove your name from all pre-qualified credit and insurance offers.  So, when you’re ready to get rid of those “PRE-APPROVED!!!” letters,  simply go to: https://www.optoutprescreen.com/.

Do not expect immediate results.  It took a few weeks for the volume to crank down.  Given time, your trips to the mailbox should be much more pleasant — you can look forward to bills!

Cheers,
Eric

[Update 9:50 PM]

Eliminating your junk mail is a great way to go green, as Kathy said in the comments.  There is actually a non-profit service that claims they can entirely eliminate your junk mail.  Check out http://www.41pounds.org/.  I have not used the service and therefore cannot recommend them, and would be interested in hearing from anyone that has.  The cost for five years is aptly $41.

How to Check Your Snail Mail Once Every Two Weeks is a post from: Made For Denim: The Blog of Eric Stroud

I’m thrilled Raleigh is finally investing in the Hillsborough Street corridor.  Hillsborough St. is one of our city’s primary gateways and has been blighted far too long.  Equally important, NC State University is a $1.1 BILLION dollar institution, and one of the area’s largest employers.  The importance of NCSU is often overlooked by our town’s leaders.  I hope their plan succeeds marvelously, yet I remain unconvinced. Their plans fails to address what this layman sees (I profess I am not a city planner) as the real problems with Hillsborough Street – parking and zoning density.

[Note: Due to the inconsistencies of the Orange and Wake County tax records, all square footage (SF) figures mentioned herein are approximate and were measured using Google Earth.]

Lack of Parking

Let’s start with parking.  Everyone loves Mitch’s Tavern.  From the front door of Mitch’s, I count approximately 25 parking spaces within 150 feet. I only add roughly 15 additional parking spaces (for a total of 40) if I include the available parking 150 feet from each of the blocks’ end (Horne to Chamberlin).  These spaces are supposed to support El Rodeo, Golden Dragon, Porters, Frazier’s, Global Village, the Jasmine Mediterranean Bistro, and numerous other establishments!  That is somewhere around 43,000 square feet of various commercial uses on this block alone.  That equates to a parking ratio of roughly 0.93 spaces per thousand square feet.

For comparison sake let’s take a look at East Village, another Hillsborough St. favorite.  East Village is roughly 4,000 SF (3,537 heated plus deck) according to the tax records.  Immediately surrounding East Village (not even including the street parking close by), I count 55 parking spaces (2 handicapped), for an outstanding parking ratio of 13.75!

How about everyone’s favorite coffee joint, Cup a Joe.  There are roughly 44 spaces (2 handicapped) within close proximity (the farthest is roughly 200 feet away).  I estimate Cup a Joe to occupy roughly 2700 SF.  Assuming that Cup a Joe is the primary beneficiary of the parking available during the day they have a parking ratio of roughly 16.3 spaces per thousand square feet.  If you include their neighbors for a total of 6000 SF then the parking ratio is still roughly 7.3 spaces per thousand square feet, which is more than plenty to share.

I am much more likely to go to East Village and Cup a Joe because of the available parking even though I love the black bean chili at Mitch’s and the atmosphere at Global Village.  I would frequent these places much more with readily available (and affordable) parking.  Yet as it stands now, it’s not worth the chance of a parking ticket to enjoy lunch at Mitch’s.

Now let’s take a look at zoning density.  A lot of people believe Hillsborough Street should look more like Franklin Street [debatable, but I digress].  Here are the two streets’ commercial zoning square footage for roughly the same comparable areas:

Hillsborough St. Commercial Zoning Area

Hillsborough St. -- Where is all the parking? Image via Google Earth, click for a larger view.

Franklin St. Commercial Zoning Area

Franklin St. - Notice all the parking and density. Image via Google Earth, click for a larger view.

In light of the above, is it really safe to say that Hillsborough St. lacks vitality because it is “ugly?”  Is Hillsborough Street really any uglier or less “pedestrian friendly” than Franklin Street?  I highly doubt this is the case.  The primary difference between the two corridors is Hillsborough St. backs up to a residential neighborhood, a very vocal and powerful antidevelopment neighborhood (think Coker Towers).

I can’t help but wonder whether the streetscape renovation is throwing money at a problem instead of leadership.  Instead of spending the money on a new streetscape, might it have been better to buy and level numerous houses that front Vanderbilt Ave. to provide parking?  Will hindering automotive traffic turn Hillsborough Street into another Fayetteville Street Pedestrian Mall?

I realize I am asking more questions than I answer.  I truly don’t know what’s going to happen, and I am hoping for the best.  At the very least, we got one good thing out of this project. [Queue Barrel Monster]

Thanks for the laugh Joseph Carnevale.

What do you think? Did the City Council do the right thing, or is Hillsborough St. doomed? I welcome your comments as always.

Cheers,
Eric

[PS, I can't say thank you enough for everyone's support as I battle(d) cancer.  I'm through chemotherapy now, and all indications are I'm healthier than I have ever been.  Thank you once again!]

Hillsborough Street Roundabouts Are Cute, But Will They Help? is a post from: Made For Denim: The Blog of Eric Stroud

I feel great for having had a testicle removed.  The loss of “Leftie” is not painful.  My pain comes from cutting through my groin.  They incised a roughly 4-inch wide by 8-inch deep section in the lower portion of my abdomen.  The pain is very manageable so long as I do not move too much.  I forgot how much connects to my abdomen — laughing hurt until last night and I cringe when I sneeze.

My stamina is fair.  I have indulged in my share of catnaps, and I’m slowly getting my feet back under me.  It’s amazing how much the anesthesia and narcotics worked on me (first experience with Percocet – good stuff).  I think I treated my visitors to some interesting conversations – sorry everyone if I said something that rubbed you wrong.

Regarding my diagnosis and prognosis, I received “the call” from my doctor on Thursday of last week and he confirmed I have stage 1 (hopefully entirely contained) seminomas testicular cancer.  The pathologist found five separate tumors roughly 3-5 millimeters in size each.  The good news is that “Leftie” did not die in vain.  My post-operative follow up appointment is tomorrow, and he will be sending me to a radiation oncologist.  I should be better than ever after a little glow in the dark time.

I would like to leave you with a lighter story.  My mother has been great, and I would be ready to canonize her if she had not spoiled my dog rotten.  If you know anything about my Mom, she will not confess her age and you never wish her happy birthday (we say happy “special day” instead).  For some reason though, she started calling herself Grandma around my puppy Bridget.  Now, I see a brown streak hurtle towards the kitchen anytime anyone goes near my pantry.  Hmmm…I guess spoiling is what Moms and Grandmas do best.

Thank you all again.  You’re the best.

Cheers,
Eric

My Thanks and Official Diagnosis is a post from: Made For Denim: The Blog of Eric Stroud

What’s Going On

Last week, my doctor informed me there is a 95% chance I have testicular cancer.  Inevitably, people gasp when I say “cancer.”  Please breathe, don’t worry, you can’t get it — it’s not contagious!  [I hope you smiled or giggled.  I am trying to laugh as much as possible throughout my treatment.  I encourage you to smile and laugh with me.] Consequently, I scheduled myself for surgery tomorrow.

The Good News

I am incredibly lucky and blessed.  Thankfully, I exhibited pain from “Leftie” (which is apparently rare).  My body must have sensed something was off.  Assuming the doctor is correct, only “Leftie” is abnormal, the tumors are at their earliest stage of development, they are entirely contained, my C/T scans show no other worrisome activity in my body, and there are currently no tumor markers in my blood.  I live in America, and I have health insurance — such great news!  I am also going to get some new nicknames – Ace, Uno, and The One Nut Wonder are front-runners right now (maybe not good news, but humorous nonetheless).  Your suggestions are welcome.  I just ask that you please be gentle.

The Bad News

I am about to lose a body part.  I will undergo a left radical orchiectomy tomorrow- a technical way of saying “Leftie” is going “bye-bye.”  Thankfully, God graced me with a spare.

My Response

I hope you do not mistake my humor for flippancy, as I can disguise only so much of my fear.  While I can laugh about losing a testicle, I’m having a much harder time laughing about cancer.  I am afraid and pray “Leftie” is benign (still a slim chance).

Cancer is beyond insidious, as my body is mutinying against me.  I dread something is inherently wrong with me.  I do not feel I am able to confront this fear directly.  I told a friend this isn’t a tarantula to hold, a plane to jump out, or a cold call to make.  I am the problem, and I am most afraid of my own body right now.

Yet, I’m not trying to ignore my emotions.  I am trying to experience my anxiety, to fall with the hollowness in my stomach, and languish in the uncertainty of the future.  It’s counter intuitive and yet I find my fright become less paralyzing when I allow myself to experience these sensations.

Ezra Bayda introduced me to the concept of experiencing “bad” emotions.  I feel the following story from Being Zen best exemplifies the concept:

This reminds me of a story Pema Chödrön tells about a childhood friend who had recurring nightmares in which ferocious monsters would chase her through a house.  Whenever she would close a door behind her, the monsters would open it and frighten her.  Pema asked her what the monsters looked like, but she realized that she never really looked at them.  However, the next time she had the nightmare, just as she was about to open a door to avoid being caught by the monsters, she was somehow able to stop running, turn around, and look at them.  Although they were huge, with horrible features, they didn’t attack; they just jumped up and down.  As she looked even closer, these three-dimensional colored monsters began to shrink into two-dimensional black-and-white shapes.  Then she awoke, never to have that nightmare again.

It is the pushing away of our “monsters” that makes them so solid.  As we begin to see through the solidity of this resistance, our life becomes more workable.  Although we may not like our life as it is, we still don’t have to wage war against it.  We can start by noticing all the ways that we avoid this moment, all the ways we avoid practice, all the ways we resist.  We can see it in virtually everything we do.  We can see it in how we don’t want to sit, how we don’t want to stay with our physical experience for more than a few seconds, how we choose to relentlessly spin off into thinking about the past or the future.  We can see it in our commitment to believing thoughts such as “This is too hard,” “I can’t do it,” “I’ll never measure up.”  We see how we’re just a well-oiled resistance machine!

I’ve had a few months to process the possibility I have cancer.  Sitting with my fear allows me to laugh a little, and more importantly, it’s like turning a closet light onto the Boogie Monster.  Cancer is just another challenge to overcome.

Why I Am Sharing This

I am not the type of person that hides trauma well.  I could never be like Chris Lofton, who privately battled testicular cancer his entire senior season at Tennessee.  You would know something was wrong from my demeanor.  You’d see a troubled face behind my smile.

I also remember how I felt when my mother underwent her treatment for cancer.  She is an incredibly strong and private individual, and kept a lot of her medical condition to herself.  Not knowing created a different kind of tension for me.  I hope to eliminate some of that tension through candid discussions and a good sense of humor, as it troubles me when I see people upset by my news.  I hope my sense of humor, however warped, helps lighten others burden.  I hope others sense of humor helps lighten my burdens.  I hope that in being open and honest about my fears they become less real for other people and myself.

How You Can Help

I am not seeking sympathy or pity.  There are many far worse off than I am.  As I said before, I believe I am one of the luckiest guys in the world.  I won the lottery when I was born, and I won the lottery in discovering my tumors extremely early.

I would appreciate your prayers and your thoughts.  I would appreciate it if you treated me just as if nothing was wrong with me (at least no more than usual ).  People inevitably give you a screwy look when you’re sick.  We’re all sick.  Some of us just hide our diseases better than others.  My disease might be called cancer.  Yours might be loneliness, anger, or apathy [I have those too by the way!].

I would invite you to sit with me, to come be with me.  In my past, I’ve done a great job of pushing painful and difficult things out of my life, thinking avoiding my pain would lessen it.  I don’t want to push things away any longer.  I don’t want to push people away any longer, even under the auspices of protecting them.

So if it’s all right with you, instead of visiting me when I’m sick, could we merely mourn the passing of Leftie?  He was a good and faithful friend, took a lot of abuse for his buddy Rightie over the years, and he will be missed.  I thank him for helping make me the man I am today, and recognize he has nothing to do with the man I will be tomorrow.

I wish you all the health and happiness and in the world.

Cheers,
Eric

[3/23/2009 -- 10:23 PM -- Update on tomorrow:  Thank you so much everyone for your support.  Visitors are welcome to stop by my house after 4PM on Tuesday.  I will be home from Tuesday-Thursday.]

My 95% Chance For Testicular Cancer is a post from: Made For Denim: The Blog of Eric Stroud

The Back Story

My girlfriend Cara and I ventured out a little while ago for a night on Raleigh.  We had a blast, and we ended up paying for it! By the end of the night, I had unknowingly spent $93.  WOW! When I told Cara, she was shocked. “But we [each] only had one drink!” was her immediate reply.  How did I spend $90 dollars on drinks for two (tips will be included)?

• $12 – Glass of wine for Cara and soda for myself
• $25 – Glass of scotch for myself and a friend
• $16 – Two appetizers @ Solas (costs split between another friend there)
  
• $40 – Paid for cover @ Mosquito for myself and three other guys (the ladies got in free thankfully)

So what happened? I could have halved my expenses if I hadn’t paid for the cover at Mosquito, but the guys I was with do a lot for me so I was more than glad to chip in for everyone. The other part of what is at play is that I use credit cards to pay for virtually everything.  I like the practice for a number of reasons.  It makes expenses very easy to track (I currently download all the data into Quicken), and the rewards for travel are great.  I have come to realize though that I am not able to budget using my credit cards.  I’m not alone in this regard. We all spend more when we use credit cards (I imagine debit cards have the same effect):

• From NPR: Why We Spend More Using Credit Cards
• From LifeScience: Credit Cards Cause More Spending
• From the CBC: Credit-card use akin to spending play money, say authors

I needed to design a solution to the above problem, especially in these tight economic times.  I imagine we all need to watch what we spend a little closer.  The results in the experiment below are something I’ve been working on for a little while.

The first part I needed to refine was my budget.  I only had a loose idea of what I should spend each month before I went through this exercise, and tried to keep my expenses in my head (epic fail more often than not). Budgeting (or creating a spending plan if you hate the word budget) seemed like a daunting task. I needed to find a way to simplify the task and capture everything. Total capture also seemed a little too daunting at first, so I needed a small place to start.  To begin with, I am only focusing on recurrent and habitual expenses while excluding the things I want to do or own (like visiting my grandfather’s village in Greece).  I plan on adding these dream goal in soon.  I know this does not add up to a complete budget, but it is a start for a guy who doesn’t have a clue.

I turned to the blog sphere for some advice on budgeting.  I didn’t want to reinvent the wheel when it came to building a spreadsheet.  Here are some ideas if you are looking for your own spreadsheet application:

• From J.D. over at Get Rich Slowly: The Budget Toolbox: 13 Tools for Building a Better Budget
• From Leo Babauta at Zen Habits: 6 Great Free Alternatives to Quicken & MS Money
• From Tim Ferris on Dreamlining: Ideal Lifestyle Costing (a reverse budgeting approach)
  

The Budget

I ended up picking the Of Zen and Computing’s simple spreadsheet to start. I then set down and set what I think are reasonable objectives for my variable/controllable expenses. [Note, these number come after pulling out fixed expenses for savings, routine car maintenance, etc. The lines items below are also "new" to me, and will definitely change as I refine the budget.]  Let me share those below:

• Groceries – $400.00 (this seems very high, but I figure that since it is in the budget we can transfer money if need be and refine the category allocations later)
• Entertainment – $100.00
• Dining Out – $200.00
• Gas – $240.00 (this is probably extremely high, but I am including this with the uncertainty in fuel prices)
• Clothes and shoes $0.00 (some short term goals, and this might be adjusted, but we both realized we really didn’t need or want any new clothing)
• Gifts – $100.00
• Dog – $50.00
• Misc. – $25.00
• Haircut – $40.00 (the last time I went into a Supercuts the first words I heard after sitting down in the chair were, “Whoops…” that was seven years ago, and I will not skimp on this budget item)

[I modified the Of Zen and Computing spreadsheet slightly. You can DL and modify my version here: Budget Workbook]

The Pocket Budget Card

OK, all this is great, but how do I make this stick in my daily life.  I broke down these expenses on a weekly basis, and figured out exactly how many times I wanted to do certain things like:

• Guys night out
• Date night
• Coffee @ a coffee shop
• Etc.

Now for the part I’m pretty excited about (get ready for extreme geeky-ness).  I took these weekly items and put them into what I’m calling the Pocket Budget Card (PBC). I now have an entire month’s budget broken down onto a business card (I picked Avery brand 27882 because they were inexpensive and available at Wal-Mart).  I used MS Word 2007 to construct my PBCs, selecting Avery 8731 as the page template. I then split the business card template layout into additional columns for organization purposes.  I am using two layouts currently (two column per business card side and three column per business card side).  Now, all I have to do is stick the PBC into my wallet with my credit cards (I use one card for work expenses and one for personal expenses) and I have a visual reminder on what I can spend when I am out and about!

I like my approach for a number of reasons:

1. It’s simple: I didn’t use complicated math or challenging equations to come down to a number.  Once I broke down the details, it became simple to think about the actual items these things should be spent on.
2. It’s visual: I can very quickly figure out exactly how much money I have available and plan accordingly much like the envelope system of budgeting.
3. It’s compact: After carrying around a back breaking wallet for years, I now have one of the simplest wallet’s available.  You can imagine then that the idea of adding heft to my wallet did not appeal to me.
4. It’s flexible: I can rewrite the dollar values if they aren’t entirely used, and “pull” money from categories as I see fit.
5. No cash needed: One of the great advantages of credit cards (aside from rewards programs) is that you are not liable for fraudulent charges.  Just cancel your card if it’s lost or stolen.  The same can’t be said for cash.
6. It’s lifestyle oriented: In using this system, I am thinking about what I want to do, not what I can’t do. Since savings are automatically accounted for as fixed expenses, I don’t have to worry.
7. It’s adjustable: My waste is only if I print an entire sheet of business cards.  I can adjust as I go.  After I add a wish list items (that trip to Greece for example) into the fixed expenditures to save, it’s only a matter of figuring out what I need to give  up (or better yet how much I need to increase my monthly income) to attain my goal(s).

You can download the PBC file here if you like my approach: Pocket Budget Card (PBC)

Of course, all this is still theoretical, as it’s a new experiment for me.  The values on the card will most certainly change over time, and there are a few more tools I am still seeking to implement this system.  One of which is a great compact pen.  I have been doing a little research, but remain hesitant on pulling the trigger on a purchase.  I hate carrying things in my pockets, so I’d like a pen that fits in my wallet.  I have found the following to date, and I would appreciate any good recommendations.

• The Derringer Pen
• The Wallet Pen (seems a bit too expensive)
  
• The Bullet Space Pen (seems a little too large for a wallet)

Does anyone have any good recommendations for a pen (would be much appreciated)?

Like any good experiment there has to be some data to compare with, and I will try to report on my progress by comparing last years numbers.

Cheers,
Eric

Creating a Budget and the Pocket Budget Card is a post from: Made For Denim: The Blog of Eric Stroud

Remembering Kay Yow is a post from: Made For Denim: The Blog of Eric Stroud

In other news, on February 28th, the Hibernian (one of my favorite local joints) will be hosting a St. Baldrick’s Foundation “Shave-a-Thon” for juvenile cancer research. It should be a great time. What’s better than barbershop humor, beer (for the grownups of course, more on that later), and a great cause? Past participants include members of the Carolina Hurricanes. Check out the following video produced by 96 Rock:

I personally will not be participating. I’m a coward when it comes to the thought of shaving off my hair (which means I probably should do it more than anything else). My scalp hasn’t seen the light of day in 25 years, and to make matters worse I scratch around up there every once in awhile. So I know what lies beneath my hair won’t win the ladies over. Maybe next year…

Then there’s Koby. Koby is my neighbor, and lacks my phalacrophobia. Koby is participating in the “Shave-a-Thon” for the second year in a row. He is in the first grade, and he participating this year because, “I want to help all the babies and kids who are sick and can’t do the things I do everyday!” How cool is that? This kid has a fantastic attitude about going bald. He is pretty stoked he doesn’t have to wash his hair every day too.

Do you remember what it was like being in the first grade? Those little tikes can be monsters! I certainly remember getting picked on for my chipmunk bowl cut and always having the “not cool” lunch (damn you Lunchables for marring my childhood). That said, Koby’s mom tells me his classmates are supportive and that even a handful will be participating with him. These dudes rock!

I commend the sirs and madams who will be shedding their vanity for a wonderful cause.

Links:

• To support Koby: Shavee Information
• For more information about the event: Event Information

Cheers,
Eric

Beer, Bald Heads, & Koby is a post from: Made For Denim: The Blog of Eric Stroud

Notice, the title says man-scaping, not metro-scaping.  Guys I promise you need to do these things.

Get a Haircut

You want her to wrap her hand around your neck.  She does not want to wrap her hands around Chewbacca’s neck.   Depending on how fast your hair grows, you should:

• Cut it every 2-3 weeks if you don’t want anyone to know you had a haircut.  Get your stylist or barber to rinse out the clippings
• Cut it every 3-6 weeks if you don’t want Chewie Neck
• Cut it every 6-9 weeks if you’re just trying to get by with the bare minimum (admittedly, this is me, which is why I keep my hair short).

What if you’re broke?  Here’s a secret I didn’t know until a little while ago.  Most stylist will do neck trims for free.  SAY NO TO CHEWIE NECK.

Trim Your Nose Hair

Trust me, I hate my nose hair trimmer.  I hate the fact that I got the Greek hair grows in really strange places gene in my family.  I am not looking forward to trimming my ear hair when I hit fifty.  I was so embarrassed by the fact that I needed a nose hair trimmer that I sent my girlfriend to buy one for me (14.95 at Eckerds back in the day).

I’m over that embarrassment now.  I’ve been trimming my nose hair since I was twenty.  Five years of noise hair trimming, every two to three weeks, means roughly 17-18 times a year or 90-100 total nose hair trimmings.  That equates to roughly .15 cents a trimming — time and money well spent.

Axe the Back Hair

Remember Chewie Neck?  Well Chewie Back is the same thing.  Chest hair on the other hand is a personal preference.  Some women dig it, others not so much.  I’d permanently axe the back hair if you can afford it.  My friend Jake tells me laser hair removal is pretty painless.  Need a cheaper option? Wax on, wax off (although it does look a bit more painful)!

Cut Your Nails

Probably the only one that men don’t have a problem doing.  Don’t forget your toenails though (yes, even in the winter).

Dealing with “Eagle One”

Let me ask you a question guys.  Would you prefer the fur-burger or the fillet?  ‘Nough said.  Here’s a secret, she feels the same way. Might I recommend:

Trimmers and Clippers at Amazon.com

Be careful around the cannon’s wheels.  The clippers will grab the folds.

Happy Man-Scaping.

Cheers,
Eric

Top 5 Tips for Man-Scaping is a post from: Made For Denim: The Blog of Eric Stroud

It’s clunky to individually input a large number of sites by hand.  You could pay for a premium edition of Google Earth, or you could try http://www.batchgeocode.com/

Batchgeocode.com will convert spread sheet data into a KML file which Google Earth understands. The process takes minimal work.  All you need to do is convert an excel file with addresses into tab delimited format, open the converted file, and copy and paste the data into the Batchgeocode.com window.

Thanks to Phillip Holmstrand for developing such a neat tool!  The site is free, but if you like it Mr. Holmstrand has included a link to make donations.  He also has a blog that provides some interesting information regarding geocoding.

Happy New Year everyone!

Cheers,
Eric

Tech Tip for Google Earth is a post from: Made For Denim: The Blog of Eric Stroud

As noble as my friend’s parents were, something very sad struck me about a childhood without Santa.  While my friend never had the heartache of realizing their parents were sneaking presents into the house, they also never had the wonder a child experiences on Christmas Eve.  They grew up in a world without magic.

I long for the magic of Christmas, the magic of the nativity story and the magic of Santa. I might have children one of these days, and I had been pondering what I would tell them about Santa.  I was torn between my friend’s truthful parenting ideology and the desires of my imagination.  Then, I received the following story via email:

I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I was just a kid.

I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb: “There is no Santa Claus,” she jeered. “Even dummies know that!”

My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me.

I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed with one of her “world-famous” cinnamon buns. I knew they were world-famous, because Grandma said so. It had to be true.

Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between bites, I told her everything. She was ready for me.

“No Santa Claus?” She snorted… “Ridiculous! Don’t believe it. That rumor Has been going around for years, and it makes me mad, plain mad! Now, put on your coat, and let’s go.”

“Go? Go where, Grandma?” I asked. I hadn’t even finished my second world-famous cinnamon bun.

“Where” turned out to be Kerby’s General Store — the one store in town that had a little bit of just about everything. As we walked through its doors, Grandma handed me ten dollars. That was a bundle in those days. “Take this money,” she said, “and buy something for someone who needs it. I’ll wait for you in the car.” Then she turned and walked out of Kerby’s.

I was only eight years old. I’d often gone shopping with my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by myself. The store seemed big and crowded, full of people scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping. For a few moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that ten-dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to buy it for.

I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my neighbors, the kids at school, and the people who went to my church.

I was just about thought out, when I suddenly thought of Bobby Decker. He was a kid with bad breath and messy hair, and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock’s second grade class.

Bobby Decker didn’t have a coat. I knew that because he never went out to recess during the winter. His mother always wrote a note, telling the teacher that he had a cough, but we all knew Bobby Decker didn’t have a cough. He didn’t have a good coat. I fingered the ten-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy Bobby Decker a coat! I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it. It looked real warm, and he would like that.

“Is this a Christmas present for someone?” the lady behind the counter asked kindly as I laid my ten dollars down.

“Yes, ma’am,” I replied shyly. “It’s for Bobby.”

The nice lady smiled at me, as I told her about how Bobby really needed a good winter coat. I didn’t get any change, but she put the coat in a bag, smiled again, and wished me a Merry Christmas.

That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat (a little tag fell out of the coat, and Grandma tucked it in her Bible) in Christmas paper and ribbons and wrote, “To Bobby, From Santa Claus” on it. Grandma said that Santa always insisted on secrecy. Then she drove me over to Bobby Decker’s house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever officially one of Santa’s Helpers. Grandma parked down the street from Bobby’s house, and she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk. Then Grandma gave me a nudge. “All right, Santa Claus,” she whispered, “get going.”

I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the present down on his step, pounded his door and flew back to the safety of the bushes and Grandma. Together we waited breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open. Finally it did, and there stood Bobby.

Fifty years haven’t dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering, beside my Grandma, in Bobby Decker’s bushes. That night, I realized that those awful rumors about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were: Ridiculous.

Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team. I still have the Bible, with the coat tag tucked inside: $19.95.

My friend’s parents were wrong about Santa Claus.  The truth isn’t always what we need. People deserve more than just a truth filled world, and my children will know the joy of Father Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

Cheers,
Eric

The Truth About Santa Claus is a post from: Made For Denim: The Blog of Eric Stroud