Made for Something Greater

Trip to the Holy Land - Shabbat

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Fri, 06 Feb 2015 03:58:00 +0000

One of the coolest things we did happened while we were in Jerusalem. The Jewish Sabbath begins Friday evening at sundown, so we joined a local congregation for their Friday Shabbat service. Following the service, our group was divided among the families of the synagogue to go to their homes for their Shabbat meal.

As a non-Jew, this 24-hour period is very interesting to observe. We were with Modern Orthodox Jews, and their specific traditions included no use of anything that displays man's creation (i.e. electricity, cell phones, tv, computers). Starting at sundown they avoid flipping light switches, using their cell phones, turning on/off the oven, and driving (therefore they live within walking distance of their synagogues). To get around this they often use timers to pre-program the lights, and they prepare food ahead of time and place it on warmers to keep it hot.

We started our evening at a local synagogue. The time of the service depends on when the sun will set that particular day, because an important part of the service is welcoming in Shabbat at sundown. The entire service was in Hebrew, so we had no idea what was being said. There was a lot of singing, but no instrumental music. Men sat on the main floor and women sat in the balcony.

After the service while we were waiting in the hallway, the lights went out because of the timer. We moved to a better lit location since it would be a violation of the Sabbath to turn them back on.

Matt and I were part of a group of six who went to the home of a middle-aged couple. Their youngest son still lived at home. This family had moved to Israel from Australia. Also in attendance were at least three other families (most of them also from Australia) and five Jewish girls from Maryland who were on their birthright trip. We had twenty-nine people in total at the meal!

The traditional Shabbat meal was fascinating. We first sat down, a song was sung (in Hebrew, of course), and each person drank a shot glass of grape juice. The parents then said a blessing over each of their children. Afterward we went to the sink for ceremonial washing of our hands, which involved splashing water from a cup three times over each hand while reciting a prayer. We returned to the table for soup and wine. After the soup, the patriarch of the home stood and said a few words. The Torah reading for that week was from Exodus and covered the first seven plagues of Moses. He posed a question, "Why was Pharaoh's heart continually hardened during the plagues?" And each person then introduced themselves and offered their answer. With twenty-nine people this took a fair amount of time, but I loved hearing what everyone had to say in response to the question. It was a very non-threatening way of expressing our thoughts, and hearing the different answers was a great way to learn from each other regardless of age, religion, or education.

By this point it had been long enough that I thought maybe soup was all we were having for dinner. I was feeling content with this when we were told to take our plates to the kitchen and serve ourselves buffet-style. Oh my, the food! Our hostess had prepared sliced roast beef, chicken, green beans, delicious mushrooms, more veggies, rice, salad...I can't remember it all there was so much! We ate our food and enjoyed conversation with the people sitting around us.

One of the women in our group was then asked to share more about the Mennonites (our group was Mennonite-affiliated). She did a good job explaining the history of the denomination and some of our Christian practices. There were a few questions, such as do Mennonites marry only other Mennonites and if there are any specific things we are not allowed to do because of our Christian faith. The families present were very interested in our answers and listened intently. We were able to ask our own questions as well throughout the evening. The whole night was loud, boisterous, warm, inviting, and generally wonderful. I felt very welcomed by our host family and comfortable in their presence.

Since we had a set time to return to our bus, our host asked us if we wanted to head out or stay for the closing prayer/song. We wanted the whole experience, so we opted to stay. More singing was done, and then we were served cake and gelato (meat and dairy are not to be mixed at a meal) for dessert. We said our goodbyes and thank yous and left feeling full, warm, and happy.

I had at least two thoughts at the end of the night. The first was how saddened I was to have no pictures documenting the night. Since electronics were off limits to them, we respected that and didn't use ours. The second was that we would all do well to adopt some of these Jewish traditions. Because they don't use cell phones or computers or other electronics, and because these Shabbat meals are such a big deal, there is an immense sense of family and community created by everyone coming together. No one is distracted by texting or Facebook, so everyone can focus on fellowship. Certain activities are off-limits, so no one is burdened by getting extra chores and work done. The 24-hour period of the Sabbath is very intentional and deliberate, bringing families together and focusing on God and worship.

Matt and I have discussed this, and while we will probably not go to the same extremes, we do hope to facilitate our own Sunday environment of worship, fellowship, and rest. Ironically enough, this takes a fair amount of work to accomplish. In our culture it's difficult to simply shut out all of those nagging tasks that always loom overhead. It's hard to find friends who desire these same intentions and who are available to fellowship with us outside of the church service. Time is precious, and it's hard for me to not strive to use every minute efficiently. But the Sabbath is necessary. It's a lost practice, and we desire to redeem what we can.

Trip to the Holy Land - Beliefs Shattered

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Sat, 31 Jan 2015 05:32:00 +0000

I am making a disclaimer up front that I do not know the entirety of this topic, nor am I sure it is even possible to know it that thoroughly. I am not claiming to have any right answers, especially as right answers are not very straightforward. This post covers an issue that is very controversial, and until I visited Israel-Palestine, I didn't even realize it was an issue because I didn't realize there was another side to the story. This was one thing on the trip that shook my beliefs to their core, and while the dust still hasn't settled, I do know that my beliefs will be forever changed to some degree. We in America do not know as much as we think we do, and one of the best things we can do to help is to simply weigh both sides of the issue fairly.

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There are two conversations that have come up (more than once) this week that center around one of the more challenging aspects of our trip. It's an aspect that is difficult to discuss because it challenges the average perception held by most people in our little corner of the world.

The first conversation starts with, "Did you ever feel unsafe?" This is the easy conversation. "Nope, never did."

The other conversation is the tricky one. It's not a question, but a statement: "I'm definitely on Israel's side and our country needs to support them," or something to that effect. This is where I falter, because that's what I used to say and I understand where that statement is coming from.

Now...everything has changed and I don't know how to say that because I know how I would have received then what I have to say now, and it would not have meant a thing to me then.

This belief that we need to support Israel is rooted in Scripture. It is very clear that the Jews are God's original chosen people and are very special to Him. God is also very clear that anyone who opposes His people will suffer consequences. In other words, to go against Israel is to go against God. Tied into that (at least fairly often) are interpretations of end-times prophecy. A rough description of these beliefs says that a series of events must take place before Christ returns, including the return of Israel to her land.

I was a very firm believer in this line of thought. There's a term for it - Zionism. I learned a lot about the definition of this word on the trip. There's a Jewish form and a Christian form. Both are radical and basically believe that the Jews must regain the land of Israel at any cost. Tie that into the belief that we must not oppose Israel and you have quite a formidable weapon, intentional or not.

Take this firm religious belief and combine it with our stereotypes we form based on the information we are fed and we become downright dangerous. Here is the stereotype we have created: Palestinian = Muslim = terrorist = kill them all. That may sound a little silly, but what's the first image that comes to mind when someone says "Muslim"? Shut down the airports, increase security, don't let them in our country, and certainly don't put any mosque on American soil. We have no place for them in our society, no tolerance for their presence within our borders.

The first man who spoke to our group is a Palestinian Christian. His grandparents used to be neighbors and friends with Jews. And then wars happened and now his family has been shunned and persecuted by Jews. He has lost much at the hands of people who used to be friends. Yet his desire and the thing he actively works toward is peace between Palestinians and Israelis. He reaches out to the Jews who are the hardest for him to love and finds ways for his people to be reconciled with theirs.

Another Palestinian man heads up a ministry organization to find non-violent ways of resisting the wrongs being done to his people. His own wife can only stay in the country with him on a temporary visa, and then she has to reapply. If her application is not accepted, she has to return to the States until it is. Why wouldn't it be accepted? Because it's processed by the Israeli government and she's a Palestinian. This man can't be with his own family because of his nationality, yet he hopes and prays for peace between the two nations.

The stories could go on for pages of the Muslims and Christians and Athiests and Jews we met from both sides of the issue. The overriding theme coming from each Palestinian was the desire for peace. Not to blow everyone up, not to send the Jews packing, not to have an all-Muslim nation. No, they want to live side-by-side, together, each man with his own religion and living as neighbors.

These are not the faces of terrorists or murderers or extreme religionists. These are the faces of people.

This desire for peace was astounding after I saw the living conditions Palestinians endure. Their homes are easy to spot with black 10,000 gallon water tanks on the rooftops. Israel controls the water supply of the whole country. If Palestinian towns are lucky, clean water will be delivered monthly and they can refill their water tanks. If not, they have to stretch those gallons to supply their entire families until more comes. Water that used to run into their cities is now siphoned off, rerouted, or polluted. Wells are not built without permits, which are issued by Israelis, and are immediately destroyed if built anyway. No water for Palestinian crops or irrigation, no clean water within city limits.

Palestinians live in the prison of their own cities. Bethlehem is a prime example. It is surrounded by a 30-40 foot tall cement wall and guarded at the entrances by Israeli soldiers. To work outside the city one needs a special permit to leave the city. Sometimes they can get through the checkpoints with their permits without problems. Other times they will be detained for hours on end. Anyone leaving the city without a permit will be shot and killed. No one can leave the city, no one is coming in, supplies aren't arriving in the quantities needed, and the economy is poor for the average man to be able to provide for his family.

In parts of Hebron (another Palestinian city), Palestinian children have to be escorted to school for protection from Israelis throwing rocks at them. Their backpacks are searched daily at checkpoints before they even get to school. If the checkpoints are closed for any reason, they have to walk miles out of their way to get around them. Above one street in Hebron was chicken wire spanning the space between buildings. It is there because Israeli settlers moved into the homes above the Palestinians' homes and will throw trash out their windows onto the people walking below. The wire catches the trash. Certain streets are completely deserted and empty because checkpoints have been set up, and if a Palestinian walks down this street past the checkpoint they will be shot. Certain homes are marked by black paint. This mark means the family is to leave their front door open at all times or it will be broken down. Usually there is a camera on the roof above and the soldiers need access to it at all times should they need to check it. No privacy.

Wire suspended above the street to catch trash thrown from windows above.

A once-busy street in Hebron, now completely deserted.

Palestinian home marked with a black arrow, requiring the front door to be kept open at all times for Israeli soldier access.

Certain parts of the land were agreed upon to be set aside for Palestinians. On many of these areas of land are brand new settlements. These are state-of-the-art apartments, condos, and businesses that Israelis have moved into. The Palestinians who used to live there were forced away and their homes destroyed. Entire villages have been bulldozed, these families now having nowhere to go or live except in refugee camps.

These are the things I saw, and I can no longer feel ok saying Israel is justified in taking back her land just because Western Christians believe it's theirs to take. I realize both sides of this conflict carry fault. I realize there is no easy solution, and even if Israel wanted to lay down her arms she couldn't because repercussions would come from other countries. I realize both sides still actively attack each other and pick fights. There are so many more layers to this conflict that we never even touched. It is a very, very complicated situation. It feels extremely dark and hopeless. To hear those living in the midst of it say they still have hope, because that is all they have...we would do well to learn from them.

I am definitely rethinking my beliefs of Israel and her rights. I still acknowledge the Jews as special to God. But I cannot be in favor of their current ways of doing things. They are extending the same hand of oppression that was held over them for so many years. They are not caring for the foreigners and aliens living amongst them as God commanded. After seeing it firsthand, I have a hard time believing God is cheering them on at the expense of other innocent people who fear Him as much as (or sometimes more than) the Jews. I am not at all afraid to say that at this point I am much more sympathetic to the plight of the Palestinians. I want to do what I can to help them, even if only one family at a time.

Trip to the Holy Land - Expectations

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Mon, 26 Jan 2015 02:45:00 +0000

I mentioned in my last post that our trip to the Holy Land met, didn't meet, and far exceeded my expectations all at the same time. It was everything I thought it would be, yet nothing at all like I imagined, but was way more than I was anticipating.

This trip met my expectations because we hit all the major stops relevant to the Old Testament forefathers and to Jesus and His disciples.

That's about the only way my expectations were met.

I learned very quickly that a lot can change over the course of thousands of years. Most of these locations we visited are nothing more than ruins. No original structures remain - only piles of stone where they once sat. Not only that, but when an army captured and destroyed a city, the victors would rebuild a new city - right on top of the former destroyed city. This creates layers and layers of ruins. The most extreme example of this is at Megiddo. This city was destroyed and rebuilt something like twenty-five times! King David of the Old Testament is responsible for layer sixteen (I think).

Multiple layers of ruins at Megiddo

At the top of Megiddo overlooking the Valley of Armageddon

Another thing I learned very quickly is that any location that has any inkling of holy significance has a church built smack dab on top of it. Most of these churches were built in the early centuries A.D., and as mentioned above, destroyed and rebuilt. I guess I understand why people wanted to build churches and worship in these special places...but it sure got annoying to get all psyched up to see a place, and then be disappointed when I couldn't really see it at all.

Probably the biggest example of this was at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. This is an extraordinarily beautiful and elaborate building, impressive all on its own. I must have missed part of the explanation for the place when we arrived, because I didn't even realize what it was when we walked through. (I went back later so I could appreciate it more.) All in this one giant building is the location of Jesus' crucifixion, the stone where his body was prepared for burial, and what's left of the tomb where he was laid. It's a sight well worth seeing...but a far cry from the lone, bare hill and peaceful, secluded tomb I've always pictured.

But since there's not much I could do to change the current scenery, I put my imagination to work and tried to picture things as they once were. It was still a very cool thing to be able to visit all of these places, and doing so helped my perspective immensely.

The part of this trip that far exceeded my expectations was the part I wasn't expecting at all. And it's also the reason that I will recommend in a heartbeat this trip with this group. A fair amount of our time was spent listening to speakers and visiting organizations that are actively working to make a positive difference amidst the current circumstances. The first several people we met with were Palestinians, both Christian and Muslim. Their stories are heartbreaking and their messages are challenging. Each person we heard from has experienced directly the heavy Israeli hand of control and persecution. What they face on a daily basis is unfathomable to us in comfortable North America. These people may or may not have enough clean water to get through the month, they cannot leave the confines of their cities without special permission or getting shot, and they fear for the future of their children. They have every reason to be angry, bitter, and hateful. I would not blame them for it.

And yet...their desire for reconciliation is stronger than their desire for revenge. So every morning they wake up with hope that things will one day change, and that is what keeps them moving forward one day at a time. Many of them actively work for peace and seek to serve both Palestinians and Israelis. In the culture I live in that demands selfishness in all things, this message is incredibly challenging. To seek peace and harmony with those around me sounds nice on paper and in Bible study. To see men like Sami and Zoughbi work tirelessly and selflessly to reach out to the very people who will throw stones or shoot bullets at them without a moment's notice, and to do this because they want friendship with these enemies...that is an example so powerful I don't know that I could ever attain it.

Learning from these folks of all backgrounds, nationalities, and faiths put breath into our trip and made it come alive. I see the trip as two categories - sightseeing and meeting the people. If I had to do it all over again with only one or the other, I would hands-down choose meeting the people.

Trip to the Holy Land

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 18:42:00 +0000

My husband and I returned home last night from a three-week trip to the Holy Land. The trip met, didn't meet, and far exceeded our expectations, all at once. It challenged our thoughts, beliefs, and faith, and it opened our eyes to reality in this little area of the world. Today we are decompressing at home, and now that life is still and silent for a few hours, I am feeling the weight of excitement, sadness, fear, doubt, and reality pressing in on my mind and heart from all directions. There are moments I feel nearly smothered by it. I've been anxious for a couple of weeks now to be able to process some of these things here, openly and publicly, both because I need to and because I want others to have a glimpse into what we experienced. It was a great sight-seeing tour and vacation, to be sure. But this particular trip went deeper than that and brought us face to face with individuals, with people. And that is what shaped us the most.

We arrived Jan 3 in Amman, Jordan, and spent three nights there. We then crossed over the Jordan River into Israel-Palestine and spent the next eighteen nights at various towns, villages, and cities in the area. We saw just about every sight there is to see, and yet we barely scratched the surface of this ancient land. We visited so many ruins that at first it felt like "if you see one you've seen them all," but the more we saw, the more we learned about time periods, types of stone, building styles, and what each pile of rock used to be. And before long I could identify these things without the help of our guide.

We walked where Jesus walked (except not really because with all the ruins we actually walked above where Jesus walked). We saw mosques and churches and synagogues. We interacted with Muslims, Christians, and Jews. We saw brokenness and dysfunction of cities and families and government, and we heard laughter and saw the smiles of children as they intermingled with our group. We saw the conflict in the Holy Land with fresh perspective and realized how complex and messy it is, how impossible it feels for compromise to be achieved. And yet, above all else...

We saw hope.

Hope for peace. Hope for a future of Palestinians and Israelis living side-by-side as neighbors and friends. Hope for Palestinian children to one day live in freedom and without fear.

I've been anticipating for a while now how to answer what everyone back home is going to ask: "How was your trip?" And I know I will stare at each person for just a few brief moments before answering, because the answer to this question is not one most people expect or care to hear about. I will answer according to how people expect me to answer, and if they are interested they will ask more. Better questions would be, "What did you see on your trip?" "What did you learn?" "What did you experience?" "What challenged you the most?" "What is going to change now that you're home?" These...these are questions I can answer. These allow me to explain my experience while helping me to process this mass of chaos that is filling my heart and mind.

One sign of a successful trip is coming home with more questions and confusions than we left with. Let me say that this was one of the most successful trips I have been on.

I hope to make several posts here about both the sights we saw and about the conflict in Israel-Palestine. Please feel free to leave comments below and start some conversation.

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Thu, 17 Apr 2014 03:39:00 +0000

Yesterday I watched a certain video that is currently circulating Facebook. The base message of this video is that people who share their accounts of visiting/experiencing heaven or hell are liars and are wrong because such experiences are not biblical.

Perhaps that's the harsh synopsis, but I can assure you there was nothing gentle nor kind about the way these things were stated. It made me angry, partly because of the way the information was presented, but also because I do happen to believe at least some of these accounts, and therefore this video was telling me I am wrong.

Telling me I am wrong about something - I don't receive that well. But that's beside my current point.

So I've been pondering and thinking the points this speaker made, because while I don't like to be wrong, I recognize that sometimes I am. And if I am wrong in my beliefs, then I'd like to correct them. After going back and forth on the different points and arguments, I've come full circle and have not changed what I believed prior to seeing this video.

The speaker presented a biblically-based argument for why no one is able to visit heaven or hell and therefore why we should not believe these stories when we hear them. And I wondered if he has even personally read any of these books or listened to any of these accounts. I have done both, and I have at least a few friends who have experienced heaven for themselves. They are the kind of Christ-followers I look to for leadership and guidance because they possess a spiritual maturity I have not yet attained. Granted, not everyone's account is going to be true or accurate, and some people are just out to make a buck. But I don't believe that to be true of everyone. In fact, it's these people who have experienced God the closest who share their stories the least. Because they know what happens if they do; they would be casting their pearls before swine. People will discount them, attack and slander them. When they come in contact with people whom they know are ready to receive these words, then they share. They are wise that way.

After all my ponderings from this video, I feel I can defend why the opposite of each of the speaker's statements could be true, and biblically so. Basically it boils down to this: who are we to decide how God is going to choose to operate? I see that happen so many times in our politically-correct, comfortable, don't-want-to-be-challenged church culture. And we decide for God that if it's not word-for-word in the Bible and if we haven't experienced it for ourselves, then it must not be true.

Just because something is out of our realm of our experiences doesn't mean it's not true. This stands not just to argue whether or not people have had glimpses into heaven or hell, but into many other aspects of the modern church. Many congregations are ripped apart over issues such as speaking in tongues, prophesying, healing, music, order of service, style of preaching, color of the carpet...

I grew up in a very traditional, conservative church body. As a teenager I remember learning about the different spiritual gifts. The teaching I received pushed the idea that certain gifts no longer exist. I was even presented with verses (which are often taken out of context to fit the argument) to back up that statement. And I was confused about what to believe until our pastor said one of the most helpful things I have ever heard: "God is going to be God, and He is going to do whatever He pleases. It's not for me to decide how He is going to work."

We live in a world full of lies and deceit. Some of it even looks identical to the Truth. But God did not leave us unattended to flounder about helplessly. He equipped us with what we need to navigate these murky waters. We are to study the Word and check everything against it. He also gave us the Holy Spirit who grants us discernment to understand truth from lies. But even then we are left with many areas. Which brings us back to the bottom line:

God is God. He will do what He will do.

"[God] does as he pleases

with the powers of heaven

and the peoples of the earth.

No one can hold back his hand

or say to him, 'What have you done?'"

~Daniel 4:35

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Mon, 14 Apr 2014 01:08:00 +0000

I'm thinking it's a good thing I didn't commit to daily writings during Lent. All of a sudden Easter is a week away, and my evenings spent not watching tv were filled with other activities. I suppose that was sort of the point, but the activities I meant to pursue were instead waylaid by other projects and obligations, and now all of a sudden my time to reflect and prepare for Easter is nearly gone. Time is a funny thing, an elusive vapor that is forever slipping out of my grasp.

Now I wonder how I will spend my time after Easter is over. I know how I would typically answer that question. But then I remember that I'm married (happy six-months to us!) and my decisions are no longer just my own. We're discovering that our hobbies and interests are not as much the same as we once thought, and that makes finding an answer to my question even more challenging. I know we have both been weighing these questions of why we do what we do, what eternal value to they possess, and whether or not these things even matter enough to deserve our attention at all. And then there's the long list of things we know should have priority, yet somehow those are the things that never get done. Life has a strange tension to it, a balance that, not unlike time, seems to always sit just beyond my grasp. And before I know it, years have passed and I find myself looking around at my current surroundings, wondering two things: How in the world did I get here, and...now what?

Ah, life. My current literal surroundings are a table full of baby plants that need to go in the ground while they instead chase the sun from this side of the window. Except there's no sun because the temperature has plummeted and instead of the 90-degree heat we had yesterday, now we are waiting for snow. These poor little guys are not looking nearly as happy as they did in their little greenhouse home, and I hope I can keep them alive for another week until the danger of freezing is past. But even if it was warm enough, I'm not sure I'd know where to plant them because our yard is torn up and waiting for us to finish this landscaping project that I initially thought would take two hours, not two months.

But, next few days aside, spring is here and the sun is shining again and I am happy and content to be outside again. A lot is happening, and it's an exciting season of life. God is good. All the time.

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Tue, 01 Apr 2014 00:51:00 +0000

For many years I've pondered this verse and wondered why I've never seen it fulfilled: "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these..." (Jn 14:12). Jesus is telling His disciples that anyone can do the same miracles He did. Not just those miracles, but even greater things!

So...what's the hang up? Why don't Christians get these results? Where are all the miracles Jesus has promised? I know some will explain it away by saying this applied only to the disciples, or things don't work that way anymore, or this or that or some other reason. But that's not good enough for me. Because those reasons only raise more questions. Hebrews 13:8 says "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Jesus hasn't changed, not in identity nor in the way He does things. Instead, I think it's we who have changed, who try to adapt Jesus to fit our lifestyle rather than changing our lifestyle to look like Jesus.

Here is what I know to be true. Jesus said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me" (Mt 28:18). Search the word "authority" in the New Testament sometime and see what happens. The number of times it appears is a little overwhelming. Jesus didn't keep this authority to Himself, but on two occasions delegated it to His followers. First He sent out the Twelve with "power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases, and...to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick" (Lk 9:1-2, emphasis mine). After that Jesus sent out seventy-two with similar orders in Luke 10.

I also know this to be true: I am a child of God by the blood of Christ. Not just a child, but an "heir - heir of God and co-heir with Christ" (Rom. 8:17). Not only that, but Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to live in me, "the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead" (Rom. 8:11). The Spirit who raised the Lamb of the God of the universe from the dead freakin' lives in me! On my own I have no power. But I have the authority to exercise the very power of God. Not only me, but every believer in Christ has this authority!

So I go back to my original question: What's the hang up? I think most believers in our culture have been blinded by the enemy to this knowledge. And it's easy to skim past the parts of Scripture that don't make sense, the ones that raise hard questions that fly in the face of traditionalism. But I don't want to do that anymore. God is working with me on some of these issues and questions, and I'm learning and growing and practicing stepping out in faith so He can grow me even more. Because I truly believe there is so much more to our faith walks than we even know. God is all-powerful, and I don't want to miss out on whatever He has to offer me.

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Mon, 31 Mar 2014 02:09:00 +0000

Matt and I recently embarked on a new get-healthy journey. So far it seems to be going well and I'm really quite enjoying it. I've been on many lose-weight journeys in my life, and this one is proving to be different in several ways. In the past, I've used every ounce of sheer will-power I could muster to count calories and eat healthy and exercise. And so far I've had a 100% failure rate. Don't get me wrong, I usually saw the results I wanted, at least for a time. But sheer will-power stretches only so thin before it snaps and all is undone.

I can't commit yet for sure to say this will be the one success that will last for my lifetime. However, a few things are different this time around. Most notably, I didn't change anything about my diet or exercise. Instead, I started taking supplements, vitamins, and other good-for-me things consistently. And having these good-for-me things in my body is changing me. My cravings are different, my tastes are changing, and it's easy and natural to make healthy decisions. It's exciting, to say the least.

This morning Psalm 37:4 caught my attention: "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." And the truth of these words clicked into place just a little more. Because as I fill my life with the spiritual good-for-me things, my desires will change. My appetite will transform from the things of this world to the things of my God. And as my desire for Him increases, so will my delight in Him. As I delight in Him I will desire the things He desires, and I will ask for them and He will give them to me. It begins a cycle that draws me closer to His heart, and that is the place I want to be more than anywhere else.

"Delight yourself in the LORD

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the LORD;

trust in him and he will do this:

He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,

the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him."

Psalm 37:4-7

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Sat, 15 Mar 2014 21:27:00 +0000

This week held a few twists and turns I didn't see coming, and quite frankly, I would much rather have done without those surprises. It's landed me in a place of confusion and pain, and I think the hardest part about it is I can't really do much of anything to make it better. I've been reminded of the power words can wield and it's caused me to pause from my Lenten writings long enough to re-evaluate why I'm doing this in the first place. And as I weed through all the thoughts and questions and doubts, I come back to my baseline of this: God is leading me on an incredible journey of spiritual growth right now, and for this season of Lent I've committed to more time in prayer and the Word while He is working in my heart.

I've wondered this week if it's worth the price tag I didn't see attached when I committed. It's costing me more than I ever bargained, and had I seen that coming I probably wouldn't have done it. It's too late to undo anything, but what I don't see yet is how it all works out in the end. There is beauty in the pain, and right now that looks like desperate hope and faith clinging with both arms around the neck of my Savior. He is good, and His ways are good, and I have no choice but to trust Him through this. Without Him there is no hope and all is lost. But I am refusing to believe that, maybe if for no other reason than the alternative feels too much to bear.

There is a prayer I've been praying with a certain end result in mind. It's another thing I'm trusting God for, but what I didn't expect was the process He might use to get to that end. I cannot survive this process without these truths: my hope is in Him alone, His word will not return to Him empty but will accomplish what He desires, and when the process is complete I will find that I would not trade a single tear or ounce of pain for my joy that will be made complete in Him. It is these times in the valley that strengthen and build, refine and purify to bring forth a harvest of my own soul. The days ahead are scary and I don't know what they hold, but I know my God and He holds me. That will be enough.

"Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters;

and you who have no money, come, buy and eat!

Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.

Why spend money on what is not bread,

and your labor on what does not satisfy?

Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,

and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.

Give ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live.

I will make an everlasting covenant with you,

my faithful love promised to David....

Seek the LORD while he may be found;

call on him while he is near.

Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts.

Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him,

and to our God, for he will freely pardon.

'For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways,'

declares the LORD.

'As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts.

As the rain and snow come down from heaven,

and do not return to it without watering the earth...

so is my word that goes out from my mouth:

It will not return to me empty,

but will accomplish what I desire

and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace..."

Isaiah 55

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Thu, 13 Mar 2014 03:44:00 +0000

I had a conversation via text tonight with a dear friend of mine who lives too far away. She shared with me how she was recently able to share the gospel with a woman whom God had placed on her heart. I then told her about a new friend of mine whom God has placed on my heart and the ministry I've been able to have with her. And I realized how incredibly amazing it is that God is using each of us in this way. My friend and I could have just as easily not had these stories to share, because it's all too convenient to tune out that still small voice of conviction and stick to what's comfortable.

My friend said she got nervous when she started sharing about Jesus. I remember shaky hands and voice when I first reached out to my new friend. It would have been easier to stay quiet. Safer to say nothing at all. But how very glad we are that we didn't!

These two women in our lives, they welcomed our words, our friendships. We are relieved...and blessed. Oh so blessed! Obedience and blind faith reap reward on so many levels. I now have a new friend I didn't have a few months ago, and each time we meet together my heart overflows with encouragement. I am beyond grateful for her hunger for the Lord and filled with joy that He is allowing me to disciple her. This journey is exciting and rewarding. And I would have sorely missed out had I kept my mouth shut when I felt the Spirit's prompting.

This same friend I talked with tonight, we started out in a similar way a few years ago. I stepped out in faith and asked if she would allow me to disciple her. That relationship has grown and thrived in ways I never saw coming. My life is richer because of it. The same is true with my new friend, and I can't wait to see where God takes it from here. And I realize how much I don't want to miss future opportunities from Him. This will be my prayer: Lord, cast off all fear and resistance that comes with stepping out in faith and obedience. Open my ears to hear Your voice and grant me an eagerness to act on what You say. Spirit, fill me with courage and confidence, and may all these things overshadow the weakness of my fallen flesh.

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Mon, 10 Mar 2014 01:41:00 +0000

Tonight at Bible study we talked about the different ways we run from and avoid God. I posed a question I have asked myself many times: If I want to know Him better, which means being in the Word and in prayer, then why don't I do it?

Sometimes we are afraid of what He might ask us to do, so it's easier to avoid the silence and keep our hands over our ears. Other times it's easier to feed our flesh with entertainment, busyness, and sleep rather than making the harder choice to feed our souls. And sometimes we become so far removed from Him we don't even recognize our need.

I've been convicted of this for several months now, and our discussion tonight made me realize it's time to finally do something about it. I want to grow and know Him more. I want to hear and recognize His voice, to receive knowledge and insight into His Word. I want Him to be my everything. I know He's waiting for me. Now it's up to me to do my part and meet Him there. So tonight I'm going to set my alarm clock a little extra early to do just that. Mornings are rough for me. In fact, waking up is usually the worst part of my day. But...it's time. I want everything He has for me, and He's been asking me to do this for a while. I'll do my part, and I'll trust Him to provide the rest.

"My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?" -Psalm 42:2

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Sun, 09 Mar 2014 04:51:00 +0000

As I type this, it's been four years - almost to the minute - since my dad's homegoing. It's funny how I can't usually remember what happened yesterday, but I can still see, hear, and feel almost every detail of that night. It's etched and seared in my memory for the rest of my days.

Every March 8th my family gathers at the farm for dinner and a trip out to the old country cemetery just north of the house. Just for a brief moment tonight as we left the driveway to visit his grave, I thought it strange that his body lays less than a mile from home while life goes like it always does for the rest of us. And how much life has happened in four short years! When dad died, there were four of us surrounding his hospital bed. Tonight we numbered six standing around his grave. He would have thoroughly enjoyed and been so proud of his baby granddaughter and new son-in-law. I know he took joy in us as we were at the time, but how much more he would have felt with these two new additions to our family!

It's true, the saying that heaven becomes more real after a loved one goes there. Heaven has never been more real to me than four years ago tonight when I drove home from the hospital. The transition from this temporary life into the glorious eternal one is a beautiful mystery. I eagerly await and anticipate the day I can shed this earthly body and step into my forever life. No more fear or worry, brokenness or shame. Only joy and love. And Jesus. Just Jesus. Because of his body broken and blood poured out for me, I live. I have hope, and I have life.

"Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" -1 Cor. 15:55

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Fri, 07 Mar 2014 03:56:00 +0000

I asked a friend today why Catholics don't eat meat on Fridays during Lent. She referred me to Google. So that's what I did. Googled.

Bare bones bottom line: Abstaining from meat is a way to pay penance.

That moment when you discover what you're doing doesn't line up with your faith...

Let me state up front that I am not bashing, criticizing, judging, or doing anything else negative toward Catholics. I have very good friends who are Catholic and I know Christians who are Catholic. But I also realize that not all Catholics are Christians, just as not all Baptists, Methodists, or Presbyterians are Christians. Many church-goers, regardless of their denomination, are merely religious. They follow all the rules, hit all the man-made marks. But they miss the relationship. And that's where this information of penance fell for me. Making the mark. Missing the point.

And I thought about all the people in the world who are giving things up for Lent. Things like meat, chocolate, sugar, soda, social media, and television. How many of us have a reason for doing it, and how many are doing it just because it's the religious thing to do? How many are doing it to try to make up for their sins? How many even know that's why the tradition started in the first place?

Praise Jesus for bearing my sins on the cross and paying my penance for me! Praise Him for being my penance! There's not a single thing in this world that could ever repay Him, that can ever wipe away the permanent stain of my sin. Only His blood can make me clean, can allow me to stand in the holy presence of Yahweh and be declared righteous.

That said, I'm still giving up television. Not because I'm trying to prove something or make Him like me more, but to know Him more and sync my heart with His.

"You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water." -Psalm 63:1

My Journey Through Lent

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Thu, 06 Mar 2014 01:20:00 +0000

Lent begins today. It's not something my church practiced when I was a child, and I don't know all the ins and outs, the dos and don'ts, the rights and wrongs. I don't wear ashes on my forehead or eat fish on Fridays (or ever, for that matter). I've participated in Lent one other time. So I'm certainly nothing special in this realm of life.

But this I do know. God is working in my life right now in huge ways. I am learning and growing in ways I haven't experienced in years. How I choose to spend my time is determining how much I allow God to teach me. I spend too much time seeking my own pleasures and almost no time seeking Him. I am tired of my complacency and I want more. More of Him, more of His power, more of His Spirit. I want to live mightily and fearlessly. I want to see Him work miracles through me. I want to hear His voice and walk so closely with Him that our conversation never stops. I want to be fully prepared to celebrate Easter, because it's the reason my life has meaning and joy and fulfillment. I know all too well that if I'm not careful, it will be here and gone with nothing more than a Sunday morning service. I want to anticipate. Contemplate. Feel. Hear. Embrace. Experience.

This is my journey for the next forty-some days. I am giving up watching tv at home and replacing that time with blogging, praying, seeking, reading. I am at a crossroads and have been for quite some time. I can see what is before me, but I won't get there until I die to self and run forward, casting off to the right and left everything that hinders. Until I immerse myself in the Word and in prayer, I won't reach the full spiritual potential for which God has created me. He has equipped me recently with everything I need for this journey. I know I'm not going to get it right all the time. I'm going to mess up, not do enough, be enough, say enough. But oh, His grace! I am committing to set my eyes on Him, take one feeble step after another, and let Him do the rest. I am desperate not to miss this.

The Season of Now

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 01:37:00 +0000

Never have I felt more alive than during this season of life. Never have I felt more free to love as I do right now. I tried to pinpoint the cause, to nail down the secret so that I never leave this place of joy and fullness I am finding in my Maker. I flip through one event and explanation after another in the file folders of my mind, only to realize that each one is connected to all the others, and none of them are the answer anyway. No, if anything, each one is a result. And I then come to realize that this is part of the season of right now. Sooner or later another season will descend, and there will be more lessons and joys and heartaches to behold along this journey called life. I wish that this season could last for always, but that is not the nature of seasons and that is not a bad thing. Each one is deemed necessary and useful by my Creator in order to carry on to completion the good work that He began (Phil 1:6).

I feel free to lavish the love of Christ on those around me. I am finding that the more of this love I pour out, the more I have to give. I cannot explain it, because the past has told me that the more I love, the more of me it takes until I fall exhausted and am unable to give of myself any longer. Sometimes there is love that requires great sacrifice and it is not always pleasant because it means putting to death the part of me that wants only for myself. I am sure this sacrificial love will come around again in another season. But for now, He is leading me to rest and enjoy the beauty of His green pastures and still waters as I bask contentedly in the sunlight of His love and pleasure. He fills me to overflowing, and I am able to wrap the people around me in the extensions of His arms. He overwhelms me with compassion for the broken and the hurting, including those crushed in heart, and my sweet patient whose intense pain He has chosen to let linger a while longer. My insides ache for these precious ones, and so I pray for them, for their healing and for their hearts to find fullness in Him. I long to reflect His glory in a way that leaves no doubt of His great love and grace.

Grace. So beautiful. So undeserved. That is why it is beautiful, because I don't deserve it, yet He hands it to me by the oceanful. He is grace, and He cannot be anything less, just as He is love and cannot love me or you any more or less than He does in this very moment. He delights and pursues and finds pleasure in each one of us, and He will stop at nothing to win our hearts. I am also discovering that as I love and lavish and open my heart to receive the love of others, His greater love story is in full swing and I am actually falling more in love with Him. He draws me and loves me because He delights in me, and this brings Him pleasure and glory. Oh, for grace to love Him more!

The Greatest of These

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Sun, 30 Dec 2012 20:16:00 +0000

Love God, love people. Why do we go to church on Sunday mornings? To worship God. That is our purpose, the very reason for which we are created. Love Him first. Love others second. How do we love others? We become like them. We change ourselves to meet them where they are in hopes of saving even a few.

I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. 1 Corinthians 9:22

I can say from experience that this is much easier to do with an unsaved friend than an unsaved enemy. Comparatively, it's easy - though at times painfully sacrificial - to become all things for a loved one if the end result might be their salvation. But how do I become all things to a person who hates and rejects my very presence? How do I find the desire to even attempt such a thing? It's much more comfortable to simply pray for that soul and let God do all the work than it is to buck up and take responsibility for that which He's handed me. Don't hear me wrong - prayer is still vital and only the Spirit can change a heart. But I am not exempt from the process. God has given me...no, commanded me a task, and it is imperative I follow through.

. . . . . . . . . .

Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care... 1 Peter 5:2

We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. Romans 12:6

The Spirit enables gifts in each believer, and with each gift comes the responsibility to nurture and use it for the glory of God. Each believer also gains a responsibility of leadership in his or her respective area of gifting. No gift is unimportant, and when all are functioning to their fullest capacity - from the pastor's sermon to the Sunday school teacher's lesson to the women washing dishes and men setting up tables - the body of Christ moves and lives and breathes in a beautiful and effective manner. It brings glory to God and draws the lost and broken in to safety and protection.

Love God, love people.

Leaders are not silent. They are strong and present and vocal when necessary...and always in a positive direction. For so long I have believed my voice is not important. And so many times I use my voice to complain or gossip or tear down. Misuse and defeated silence bring destruction. I am gifted, therefore I am a leader, therefore my voice is vital to the glory of God and the growth of the Body.

. . . . . . . . . .

Change is hard, but inevitable and necessary. These thoughts are from this morning's sermon, given by a guest pastor. Our pastor of fourteen years has been called to shepherd another flock, and our flock here is facing a great deal of uncertainty and emotion. It would be easy to sit back and wait to see what changes occur, and then make my decisions accordingly. But that is not the way of Christ nor His desire for the Body. Instead, we stay active in using our gifts and encouraging others to do the same. We do the jobs He has called us to do, and allow the Spirit to do His work in and through us. So often we try to force the Spirit's work for Him, and in doing so we quench His holy fire. And while we often elevate the pastor's gift of shepherding, and though some gifts are deemed "greater," the truth is that no gift is less important than another. Each gift is divinely issued and equally necessary to bring glory to God, both individually and corporately.

Love God, love people.

Meet Me In Heaven

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Thu, 20 Dec 2012 02:37:00 +0000

Her Christmas letter arrived this week, filled with news I'd already heard, but with a few more details not included in the prayer chain emails. Since the first email came out I've thought of her often, usually whenever I hear someone say the word "cancer." And I desire to touch base again...just one more time.

She and her husband opened their home to me almost ten years ago. I learned to play guitar in their basement (for which they each deserve extra saint points), and watched her play dolls with the older granddaughter while I held the baby. She let me use her kitchen to cook and bake, and would set a third place at the table so I could be a part of their meals. I spent many evenings in their living room, simply enjoying their company.

We sat together on a sofa in the church foyer during an evening meeting, each soul present for the other as our beloved church body crumbled to the ground and nearly died. Years later, when I returned for a visit at a church bonfire, she looked at me and said, "Do you even recognize this church anymore? We are so much healthier now!"

Only a couple of years ago I sat behind her toward the front of the sanctuary as her church family prayed over her for healing from a cancerous spot on her lung. After surgery, she received a clean bill of health and made an excellent recovery.

Now she faces Stage 4 colon cancer that has spread everywhere. Chemo made her too sick, so she has chosen to forego the treatments in order to enjoy the life she has left. My friend, with her sweet smile and gentle touch, beautiful on the inside and out, bravely staring death in the face. Such a precious and valuable asset to the body of Christ.

Dying is a part of this life. Sometimes death is easy to push aside, to not think about. But when death hovers nearby, it has a way of bringing new perspective to life. When it becomes personal, something happens inside. The important things in life suddenly shine a little brighter.

I am sad to know my friend is dying. But she loves Jesus and awaits the moment He takes her home. There is a beautiful mystery in the death of a believer. Where there is sorrow, joy abounds all the more. Where there are tears, there is also gladness. Where there is sadness, rejoicing pours forth. Where there is an end, hope begins. When death becomes personal and takes the dear saints from my life, my heart hurts and I cheer them on as though cheering runners crossing the finish line. My soul cries out with all its might as they take their last steps in this world and burst forth into eternity. And I feel longing in the depths of my own being to be in their shoes, to burst forth into beauty seen by no eye and conceived by no mind.

Praise Jesus for making the way! In the words of my friend, "Please make sure you will meet me in Heaven."

See you soon, Marcene. Whether here or there, I will see you soon.

Letter to Me

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 23:51:00 +0000

Writing this post was easy. Making it public has been hard. I've been sitting on it for a few weeks now, not quite able to hit "publish" because I know who will read this, and leaving myself this exposed feels too risky. But stronger than that is my belief that this piece of my story will resound with many people. I have seen first-hand how many others have been in or are in a place similar to mine; to share my heart gives them a voice they may have not yet found and makes their places feel not quite as lonely.

The idea of writing a letter to my younger self came after a dear friend had the privilege of contributing to a new book called Letters to Me. I have not yet read the book or any excerpts (if I did, I think I would be intimidated enough by "real" writers to never ever publish this post), so I don't know exactly how those letters will flow. I do know that my own letter is written to myself at the point in time I may have benefited most from reading it.
_________________________

To my 17-year old self,

You are about to make a decision that will set the course of your heart and affect you for many years. I wonder, if you could know the things at 17 that you will know at almost 30, if you would still make that decision. And I wonder how different my heart and life would look now were it not for this journey you are about to begin.

If I could tell you all the lessons I've learned over the past twelve years, this is what I would want you to know: dieting is about control, and you like control. Losing weight feels good, and nothing feels better than jeans that have become too big. When people compliment you on your weight loss it will boost your confidence, but those compliments also raise the bar of your expectations. No matter how much weight you lose it will never be enough. A shrinking waistline is not perceivable by your eyes. The mirror you look into will always reflect curves too wide, features too ugly, a body too imperfect. All your diets will eventually come to an end, and none of the results you worked so hard for will stay. In fact, each time you diet you will gain back more weight than you lost.

A few years from now you will consciously walk into the biggest battle of your life. You will take on the ultimate diet, and for a time you will succeed. But you will measure success by the size of your jeans rather than victories won in the spiritual battle for your heart. It will be a long battle, one that rages on even after you start eating again. Because really, the issue isn't about food or weight loss or physical beauty. Your perception of those things is so very skewed, and they manifest because they reflect the deeper wounds that have sliced into the innermost places that are known not even by you.

What you seek is acceptance and unfailing love, and you look to the approval of others to make you complete. But even the best of what others can offer is tainted and limited by the flesh. Only One is able to fill you to overflowing, and oh how He loves you! If only you could know how deeply this love satisfies, that all else pales in comparison...but I don't know how to tell you that to its fullest, because even now I haven't learned how to let Him be all.

I don't know how to tell you to learn the lessons without first experiencing the consequences. I think maybe it's a road you will have to stumble down, because you can't get the to the end result without making the journey that leads you there. There are things now that I wish you would have done differently then. But it's those things you've done that are the building blocks of who you've become. Right now you wish you could be anyone else. But that will change. One day you will be glad to be you.

So, young one, search for God's love and approval above all else. If you lose sight of that, you will lose who you are. You will find the friendships you've always longed for, and soon. There are many friends you will make along each segment of your journey, and they will become very dear to you. In fact, one day you will realize how many of these special people are in your life and wonder how God ever saw fit to bless you so richly.

Always always ALWAYS pray. Never stop, even when you reach those months and years that become the darkest and most difficult. You will make it through, and He will restore and redeem your broken places. You are valued, loved, and beautiful. Hold tight, child. Hold tight to Him.

Case Study: The Long-Term Effects of Kinesio Tape on Hallux Valgus - Week...I Don't Know Anymore

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Wed, 31 Oct 2012 02:12:00 +0000

There is a reason I have not pursued a career in research, and I think this post is a clear demonstration as to why. I started conducting my own little research project somewhere around a year ago, ended it in January, and am just now getting around to writing the follow-up. If you were reading along before and need a refresher course, you can read the first post here, the second post here, and the third post here.

Let's see...so as of the last post I had been taping my toes for 7 wks. I believe I continued taping for only another one or two weeks, because it was about that time I noticed my big toes feeling sore, especially on the right. That toe started to look swollen and slightly red, so I decided to stop taping altogether. I also realized that my big toenails were no longer growing; in fact, the last time I'd trimmed them was three months prior, but all the other toenails were growing on schedule.

My toe pain finally simmered down, but then in April the right one flared up again. It got super red and puffy and had every sign of infection. So I ignored it. It was originating from the nail bed, which was odd since I had no skin breakdown or lacerations to the area. After about two weeks of that, the infection finally cleared up, and I started to lose my toenail. I've never lost a nail before, and my toe had suffered no trauma or ingrown anything. The nail just simply died and started to grow out. There was some new nail trying to grow, but it wasn't moving very quickly. By probably July-ish the dead nail was halfway grown out, and I accidentally snagged it on something and ripped off what was left. Ouchie. But that healed up and now - nearly November - I have about 3/4 of a toenail and it seems to still be filling in. I'm relieved for that, because I thought I'd never have a normal looking nail again. Not that I'm vain about the appearance of my feet, but the once a year (or two) I decide to French tip my toenails, it's kind of nice to have something to tip.

My theory on the toenail weirdness is that the pull of the tape over the top of the nail affected its ability to grow out normally, which somehow messed with the nail bed and caused it to stop growing altogether.

As far as the measurements go, I re-measured again this summer, and my valgus angles were back to where they were before I started taping. Therefore, my conclusion is this: Kinesio tape will help improve the angle of hallux valgus, but not as a long-term solution. I have heard from two people that the tape offered relief from pain they were having from hallux valgus, so I believe it is also an appropriate method for managing symptoms and pain related to this condition. But I would advise caution with constant and repetitive taping over time based on what happened to my toenail.

This brings me to the official end of my case study. (Whew. That's a relief!)

Seasons of Change

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 03:09:00 +0000

Typically the view from the windows at work isn't all that exciting. But when fall shows up, I will boast of one of the best views in town. The trees outside these windows turn the most brilliant shades of red, yellow, and orange. With a backdrop of gloomy gray skies and green pines, the colors nearly glow. This morning, however, gale-force winds showed up and the trees are steadily losing their magnificent color-blankets. The bare branches poking out from the tops tease about the fast-approaching winter, and I mourn the passing of an all-too-brief fall season.

I watch the leaves fly and am reminded at how quickly - and regularly - life changes. And this reminder parallels words from my Bible study: The life of a Christian is never about sameness. It's always about change.* Change will happen, and it's necessary. Without it my relationship with the One who loves me will not deepen.

Oh, how I balk at change. I do not like for my consistency and order to be jumbled and shifted. I do not like to face the unknown, and I certainly do not like to lose that which I hold dear because losing hurts. I fear change because I fear pain.

Recently I traveled back to my second home in South Dakota, and with each familiar sight and street and face I felt the subtle stab of homesickness. Each time I've gone back I've asked myself, "What have you done? Look at what you gave up!" I left dear friends and happy places and a town that feels more like home than anywhere else. I want that home back.

But I have good things where I am now. I have a job I love, and that is something I appreciate and grip tightly. I have friends here who have become very dear, and slowly this new place is becoming home. More than anything else, I have a new freedom. I look back and I miss dearly what I used to have. But when I see path God has led me on this past year and I notice how much He's grown me, I recognize some of the chains that used to hold me captive because of where I used to be. He brought me away from what I had, and as a result I am no longer held captive by these chains, and the freedom is sweet.

I have meditated on these things lately, and as I watch the autumn-chilled winds wipe the beauty from the trees, I feel a mix of sadness, yet surrender, in knowing that the winds of life will blow again. Sooner or later the beauty I experience now will be removed to make room for the next season, and through His miracle of life, God will grow me in ways that I cannot imagine. Maybe it will be painful, or maybe not. Either way, it will be good. And while I may look back and miss what I have now, He is faithful to fill to overflowing the blessings of those who are faithful to Him.

______________
*Quoted from Breaking Free by Beth Moore.

Weary

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Sat, 22 Sep 2012 15:22:00 +0000

Forgiveness and grace and reconciliation and love your neighbor and pearls before swine...the words spoken into my mind and heart this week, life-themes swirling around me lately like dancing wisps, sometimes pushing me through the day, other times taunting me. I try to live them out, only to have my efforts rejected. So time after time I watch circumstances settle back into the same rut, back into the same place and position and order they came from. And it seems as though I'm the only one who notices.

I remember watching a friend in a similar place not that long ago. She sought counsel, and I remember the words spoken to her: If you start praying, things will get worse before they get better. And it was true. It was true for her, and it seems to be true for me. I pray for souls and hearts, for Godly leadership and for change. And I see nothing happening. Except that I know something is happening because it's feeling worse. So I trust that the forces in the spiritual realm are moving, just beyond the sight of my earthly eyes, and I cling to hope that their movement will spill over into the physical and finally change will happen.

This battle is not against flesh and blood. I try to wield my sword, but the lines of black and white have muddled together into gray, and I no longer know where to stand and fight. I'm tired of fighting. The gray is thick enough that I cannot see if others stand with me...or if I stand alone. I want to be done and walk away, back into the safety of black and white and easy and comfortable. But I can still see enough past the gray to know that walking away means I lose. And the prospect of losing what I have is enough to keep me from backing down.

Perseverance must finish its work, and I must let it or I have gained nothing.

Grace That Is Greater (2)

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Sun, 16 Sep 2012 22:25:00 +0000

This grace journey feels like the theme of my life lately. I'm learning things, big and small, and it's reshaping the way I love others. I am starting to see how giving grace is much like living a story. When I invest in the life of another, each offering and act of grace becomes a step I take hand-in-hand with that other person, a step that draws our hearts closer to the heart of Jesus. It is the journey of loving someone straight into the arms of Jesus.

It is fairly easy to bestow grace on those who love me in return. It's more challenging when my offers go unreceived and when I am repayed with further offense. More than once I have found myself wanting to give up, save my energies for another who is more pleasant and who just might recognize my sacrifice.

But then I watch someone else push through the difficulties and continue to extend this grace, and I am encouraged to push on and continue to do what I know Jesus does for me over and over and over again. After all, how many times has He shown me grace only to have me reject or refuse or not even recognize it? Those are the times I need His grace the most, and so I continue to extend it even when it's hard, because that's when that person needs it the most.

Grace sounds like a gentle, flowing, beautiful creature who forgives readily and loves easily. When looking at the big picture, that's how she might appear. But when grace becomes personal, she looks less graceful. Up close, grace becomes sacrifice, death to self, risk, being inconvenienced, getting hurt. Sometimes it's easier to turn my back and wait for the opportunity to pass. But when I do that, haven't I just deprived the recipient of her opportunity to experience the very grace of Jesus? To Jesus, giving His grace was sometimes thankless, unpopular, painful, bloody...and His ultimate gift of grace resulted in death. It is this very grace that welcomes me into His arms and allows me to spend all of eternity with Him. When I extend this grace to others, I should not expect it to be easy or pretty all of the time. But because it is a tiny reflection of His greater grace poured out, it is what I will commit to persevering in, with hope and faith that each small step of grace will guide another soul directly to Him.

The Heart of Worship

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Sun, 26 Aug 2012 18:08:00 +0000

For just a few moments during our worship set this morning I heard the most beautiful sound. The first song started with just a single voice and the piano leading, and the sound of the congregation singing as one reached all the way to the stage where I was standing.

There's no one like You, none like You.

I wonder if that's what God hears every Sunday. I usually hear only the sounds of the music we play from the stage. People standing in the crowd hear only the music and the sound of the few voices surrounding them. But God hears it all. And I wonder if He strips away all the extra noise and listens to simply the voices. Different voices singing different parts, raising as a single beautiful worship offering to the One who brought them together.

I like to sneak a glimpse of the people while they worship. It's a beautiful blend, our congregation. There are the tall and the short, the old and the young. Sometimes a stray child dances in the aisle, and that never fails to make me smile. A row of college students sits on the front row, worshiping openly, and I remember my own college days when worship came so freely. Raised hands are scattered throughout, some close eyes and others pour out their hearts as the tears fall freely. Together, each heart lays on the alter of worship a piece of the sacrifice that God receives as a whole.

My ears heard only the sound, which was perfect. God hears the sound, yes, but He also hears the heart. Each heart. What a new dimension that must add, the voice and the heart together, a sound heard only in the heavenlies. What I heard was beautiful and fragrant. How much more it must have been in that holy Place, the very dwelling of Yahweh where seraphs cover their faces and angels bow down...and where God's children approach to crawl into the lap of their Father.

A Holy Experience

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Sat, 18 Aug 2012 04:10:00 +0000

Last weekend a few friends came over at my request to help me pray over my house. It's something I've wanted to do since I moved in but haven't actually accomplished. Now I'm getting two roommates, strangers mostly, and suddenly I felt a new urgency to bathe my property in prayer before they get here.

I am very blessed to have friends so full of the Spirit. I suspect that to them, praying over a house is a common and natural occurrence. To me, it was brand new. I felt very cared for and humbled that these friends would pray such authoritative and heartfelt prayers over this small piece of my life. I was deeply encouraged as they petitioned the Father for spiritual protection, for blessings and favor, for freedom from supernatural chains, and for the heart-condition of two girls they've never met. I watched my sweet friend anoint each door and window with oil, and I felt as though I was treading on holy ground. We walked the perimeter of my property in single-file, and I smiled to myself as I imagined my neighbors watching us pray aloud and march around.

Whether they know it or not, these friends are my teachers, my mentors whose wisdom and life lessons shine light on my own spiritual journey. I feel strengthened and encouraged after having been with them, and also challenged because their light reveals my deficiencies. And so I am driven to my knees in prayer, asking for those same Spirit-qualities to be grown in my own life. Isn't this a glimpse into the heart of God's Church, to encourage and sharpen and love one another? I feel great joy in knowing that I have found an alive and active part of the Body to join for this season of my life. I am truly blessed beyond measure, and I don't want that blessing to be lost on me. I want to soak it up and let God shape and grow me so that He can use me to be these same things to someone else.

How Uganda Warms My Heart

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 21:55:00 +0000

14/12/2011

Dear Miss Elizabeth

Hi the best in my heart.
How are you but I hope you are fine.
How is our mother tell her that peace is missing you.
And she is not getting any message from you.
How is my brother with his wife?
I am missing all of you.
The best in my heart.
Thank you for your prayer.
I am very happy because God has answered your ~~prayer~~ prayers.
I passed from p.6 to p.7 God has made it for me.
You and me we are the same person.
You are the one in my heart from God.
I thank God for that.
God is performing miracles in our village
God has made allmost the ~~pupil~~ people in our village to get ~~are getting~~ saved.
I Love God and I trust in him
In him all things are imposible.
Love him Like I do.
Tell my brother and his wife that the Lord our God needs them.
Tell my mother that the Lord our God needs her.
My parents sent greettings to you.
That they still need their prayers.
The Lord needs you and me.
The aim of this Letter is to appreciate the Christmas gift and may the good Lord bless you abundantly
The budget is as follows.
The cloth at 30,000
The shoes at 5,000
The soda at 3000
The photo at 2000
The sweets at 300
40300

~Peace, age 14
Uganda, Africa