Made Men Tell No Tales

Episode #13: Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

made.men.tell.no.tales.podcast@gmail.com (Carter Vance & Adam Barrett) — Thu, 20 May 2010 19:56:00 +0000

In this episode, we step on many toes, perhaps, by giving our take on the instant cult-classic Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day.

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Movie Synopsis (from IMDB): For the last 8 years the brothers have been living with their father on a sheep farm deep in isolated Ireland. One day their uncle tells them that they have been framed for the murder of a Bostonian Catholic priest. The boys must return to Boston to not only clear their names but find the men who framed them.

Carter's Verdict: 7.5/10

Adam's Verdict: 7*/10

Next time: We're watching In The Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, no time to be clever.

As always, you can email comments, questions or other random nonsense to made.men.tell.no.tales.podcast@gmail.com and special thanks to musician Kevin MacLoed of Incompetech for the use of his songs "Kick Shock" and "Phat Sketch", as the opener and closer of the podcast, respectively.

Episode #12: Robin Hood

made.men.tell.no.tales.podcast@gmail.com (Carter Vance & Adam Barrett) — Thu, 20 May 2010 19:48:00 +0000

In this episode, we are somewhat current in reviewing Russell Crowe Kills Everyone in Medieval England A.K.A. Robin Hood.

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Movie Synopsis (from IMDB): Following King Richard's death in France archer Robin Longstride,along with Will Scarlett, Alan-a-Dale and Little John,decides to return to England. They encounter the dying Robert of Locksley,whose party was ambushed by treacherous Godfrey,who hopes to facilitate a French invasion of England, and Robin promises the dying knight he will return his sword to his father Walter in Nottingham. Here Walter encourages him to impersonate the dead man to prevent his land being confiscated by the crown,and he finds himself with Marian, a ready-made wife.Hoping to stir baronial opposition to weak King John and allow an easy French take-over, Godfrey worms his way into the king's service as Earl Marshal of England and brutally invades towns under the pretext of collecting Royal taxes. Walter tells Robin he knew his father,a freedom-fighter who hoped to unite the barons for a better society but Walter is killed by Godfrey after a raid on Nottingham. Robin rallies the barons and the king and thwarts the invasion,avenging Walter by slaying Godfrey. Sensing that Robin's popularity makes him a threat, John declares him an outlaw. Thus along with his friends,including his wife and her priest Friar Tuck, Robin joins other orphans and outcasts in the greenwoods where the legend begins.

Carter's Verdict: 7.5/10

Adam's Verdict: 8/10

Next time: We expose ourselves to the potential fray of the internet by talking about Boondock Saints II: All Saints' Day.

Episode 11: Punisher: War Zone

made.men.tell.no.tales.podcast@gmail.com (Carter Vance & Adam Barrett) — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 02:13:00 +0000

In this episode, we investigate Punisher: War Zone, undoubtedly the best of the three Punisher films and quite possibly the best film of December 2008.

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Movie Synopsis (from IMDB): Infamous vigilante, anti-hero Frank Castle (Ray Stevenson) is six years into his vengeance driven zeal as the Punisher when he brutally assaults a "beat the rap" party for notorious mob boss Gaitano Cesare. During the course of the massacre, he hideously disfigures overeager gangster Billy Russoti (Dominic West) and murders a mafia lackey who turns out to be an undercover FBI agent.

Agent Paul Budiansky (Colin Salmon), the ex-partner of the undercover Fed, joins the NYPD's "Punisher Task Force" to help bring Castle to justice, once and for all.

A facially mutilated Russoti recovers from his run-in with the Punisher with revenge on his mind and recruits a massive army of psychotic killers, gangbangers, and mobsters under his new alias "Jigsaw."

Distraught that he has now become the very evil he swore to battle, Castle is content to hang up his guns and quit the justice business for good. However, plans quickly change once he learns that Jigsaw has not only kidnapped the surviving wife and child of the dead federal agent but now has also freed his commited psychopathic brother, James (Doug Hutchison).

Forced back into the war, the Punisher now has to face off against Jigsaw's formidable army in order to save the lives of an innocent family his actions put in the firing line.

Adam's Verdict: 6/10

Alex's Verdict: 6/10

Carter's Verdict: 8/10

Next time: Adam missed out on seeing Liam Neeson is Zeus (also known to some as Clash of the Titans), but Alex and Carter will enlighten you about it.

Episode #10: Ninja Assassin

made.men.tell.no.tales.podcast@gmail.com (Carter Vance & Adam Barrett) — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 04:01:00 +0000

The gang's all here for this episode, as we discuss the recent underrated masterwork of Ninja Assassin.

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Movie Synopsis (from IMDB): Trained since childhood to be a lethal killer, Raizo (Rain) has since turned his back on the Ozunu clan that raised him and now seeks revenge for their heartless murders. Teaming up with Europol investigator Mika (Naomi Harris), Raizo steadily butchers his enemies while inching ever closer to the long-awaited bloody reunion with his former master.

Adam's Verdict: 7/10
Carter's Verdict: 8/10
Alex's Verdict: 9/10

Next time: From ninjas to comic book vigilantes, we continue in an action vein, with Punisher: War Zone.

As always, you can email comments, questions or other random nonsense to made.men.tell.no.tales.podcast@gmail.com

Episode 9: Che

made.men.tell.no.tales.podcast@gmail.com (Carter Vance & Adam Barrett) — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 15:12:00 +0000

In this episode, we celebrate Adam's return from the communist utopia of Cuba by talking about Che.

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Movie Synopsis (from IMDB): The Argentine, begins as Che (Benicio Del Toro) and a band of Cuban exiles, led by Fidel Castro, reach the Cuban shore from Mexico in 1956. Within two years, they mobilized popular support and an army and toppled the U.S.-friendly regime of dictator Fulgencio Batista.

In 1965, Ernesto 'Che' Guevara resigns from his Cuban government posts to secretly make his latest attempt to spread the revolution in Bolivia. After arriving in La Paz, Bolivia late in 1966, by 1967, Che with several Cuban volunteers, have raised a small guerrilla army to take on the militarist Bolivian movement. However, Che must face grim realities about his few troops and supplies, his failing health, and a local population who largely does not share his idealistic aspirations. As the US supported Bolivian army prepares to defeat him, Che and his beleaguered force struggle against the increasingly hopeless odds.

Adam's Verdict: 7.5/10 (8/10 for The Argentine, 7/10 for Guerrilla)

Carter's Verdict: 8.5/10 (8/10 for The Argentine, 8.5/10 for Guerrilla)

Next time: The revolution moves from Cuba to Ireland as we discuss The Wind That Shakes the Barely.

As always, you can email comments, questions or other random nonsense to made.men.tell.no.tales.podcast@gmail.com

Episode 8: Anticipated Movies of 2010

made.men.tell.no.tales.podcast@gmail.com (Carter Vance & Adam Barrett) — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 23:52:00 +0000

In this episode, we change things up and talk about each of our top ten most anticipated movies of 2010.

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Adam's List:

10) The Expendables
9) Cop Out
8) Predators (Carter mistook Adrian Brody for Cillian Murphy during the recording, whoops)
7) Clash of the Titans
6) Alice in Wonderland
5) The Last Airbender
4) Robin Hood
3) Iron Man 2
2) Shutter Island
1) Inception

Carter's List:

10) Red Dawn
9) Green Zone
8) Robin Hood
7) Iron Man 2
6) Toy Story 3
5) Inception
4) Shutter Island
3) The A-Team
2) Kick-Ass
1) The Expendables

Next time: We get down with our revolutionary sides and celebrate Adam's trip to Cuba by talking about Steven Soderbergh's epic-length Che

As always, you can email comments, questions or other random nonsense to made.men.tell.no.tales.podcast@gmail.com

Episode 7: Up in the Air

made.men.tell.no.tales.podcast@gmail.com (Carter Vance & Adam Barrett) — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 23:28:00 +0000

In this episode, we are somewhat current in reviewing the newest film by Jason Reitman, Up in the Air.

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Movie Synopsis (from IMDB): Ryan Bingham's (George Clooney) job is to fire people from theirs. The anguish, hostility, and despair of his "clients" has left him falsely compassionate, living out of a suitcase, and loving every second of it. When his boss hires arrogant young Natalie (Anna Kendrick), she develops a method of video conferencing that will allow termination without ever leaving the office - essentially threatening the existence Ryan so cherishes. Determined to show the naive girl the error of her logic, Ryan takes her on one of his cross country firing expeditions, but as she starts to realize the disheartening realities of her profession, he begins to see the downfalls to his way of life.

Adam & Carter's Verdict: 8.5/10

Next time: For a change, we won't be talking about one movie but instead giving each our top ten lists of anticipated films in the coming year and discussing them.

As always, you can email comments, questions or other random nonsense to made.men.tell.no.tales.podcast@gmail.com

Episode 6: Gamer

made.men.tell.no.tales.podcast@gmail.com (Carter Vance & Adam Barrett) — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 18:12:00 +0000

After a two month hiatus due to school work and Modern Warfare 2, we attempt to recover by talking about the new Neveldine/Taylor masterwork Gamer.

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Movie Synopsis (from IMDB): Set in a future-world where humans can control other humans in mass-scale, multi-player online gaming environments, a star player (Gerard Butler) from a game called "Slayers" looks to regain his independence while taking down the game's mastermind (Michael C. Hall).

Carter's Verdict: 7.5/10
Adam's Verdict: 7/10

Next Time: We move from the grindhouse to the Oscar runway to discuss No Country for Old Men. Hopefully we won't get as delayed this time, wish us luck!

As always, you can email comments, questions or other random nonsense to made.men.tell.no.tales.podcast@gmail.com

(No music this episode due to technical difficulties, sorry.)

Episode #5: Bon Cop, Bad Cop

made.men.tell.no.tales.podcast@gmail.com (Carter Vance & Adam Barrett) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 22:19:00 +0000

In this episode, we get patriotic and talk about the Canadian-action masterwork, Bon Cop, Bad Cop.

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Movie Synopsis (from IMDB)

Carter's Verdict: 8/10 (6.5/10 if you don't understand the Canadian references/jokes)

Adam's Verdict: 7.5/10

Next Time: Inspiried by the trailer for James Cameron's Dances With Space Wolves in Ferngully Forest (AKA Avatar), we will take a look at one of the man's earlier works, the Micheal Biehn undersea adventure known as The Abyss.

Episode #4: The One

made.men.tell.no.tales.podcast@gmail.com (Carter Vance & Adam Barrett) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 00:07:00 +0000

In this horribly stupid and choppy episode, we invite in "special guest" Alex Scanlon onto the podcast and talk about the Jet Li/Jason Statham team-up of The One.

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Movie Synopsis (from IMDB): There is not one universe, but there are many, which is a multiverse. Supposing you are just one person, there are many other versions of you in the other universes, there are ways to travel, but only a police agency,MVA, can travel only for police procedures. Gabriel Yulaw (Jet Li) is a former MVA agent, who killed another version of himself in self-defense. It made the other versions of him stronger. When Yulaw found out about this, he became power-hungry, killing the 122 other versions for two years. After killing Lawless (Jet Li)and getting captured by his former partner Roedecker (Delroy Lindo) and a new MVA agent Funsch (Jason Statham) Yulaw managed to escape the prison and is trying to kill his last target, Gabe Law (Jet Li) who is a police officer. He is also at Yulaw's strength. Roedecker and Funsch now have to arrest Yulaw before he can kill Gabe. There is a possibility that the universe could die or make Yulaw invinible. After encountering Yulaw for the first time, Gabe thought that it was his split personality, but it wasn't. Will Gabe be able to confront Yulaw before or after Yulaw ruins his life?

Adam's Verdict: 3.5/10

Carter's Verdict: 3/10

Alex's Verdict: 8/10

Here's Alex's Facebook page so you can tell him why he's wrong

Next Time: In order to lift their spirits after suffering through The One, Adam and Carter will discuss the deeply patriotic Canadian action film Bon Cop, Bad Cop.

As always, you can email comments, questions or other random nonsense to made.men.tell.no.tales.podcast@gmail.com and special thanks to musician Kevin MacLoed of Incompetech for the use of his songs "Kick Shock" and "Phat Sketch", as the opener and closer of the podcast, respectively.

Episode #3: Blade II

made.men.tell.no.tales.podcast@gmail.com (Carter Vance & Adam Barrett) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 21:35:00 +0000

In this episode, filled with yelling and disagreement, we discuss Blade II, a film which Carter loves greatly and Adam does not.

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Movie Synopsis (from IMDB): A rare mutation has occurred within the vampire community. The Reaper. A vampire so consumed with an insatiable bloodlust that they prey on vampires as well as humans, transforming victims who are unlucky enough to survive into Reapers themselves. Now their quickly expanding population threatens the existence of vampires, and soon there won't be enough humans in the world to satisfy their bloodlust. Blade (Weslet Snipes), Whistler (Kris Kristofferson)and an armory expert named Scud (Norman Reedus) are curiously summoned by the Shadow Council. The council reluctantly admits that they are in a dire situation and they require Blade's assistance. Blade then tenuously enters into an alliance with The Bloodpack, an elite team of vampires trained in all modes of combat to defeat the Reaper threat. Blade's team and the Bloodpack are the only line of defense which can prevent the Reaper population from wiping out the vampire and human populations.

Carter's Verdict: 7.5/10

Adam's Verdict: 3.5/10

Next Time: In a change of pace, Adam and Carter will be joined by a guest host, their friend Alex Scanlon, to discuss the team-up of Jet Li and Jason Statham in The One.

Episode #2: The Last Samurai

made.men.tell.no.tales.podcast@gmail.com (Carter Vance & Adam Barrett) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 21:13:00 +0000

In this episode, after a brief discussion of Tom Selleck and the House season premiere, we discuss The Last Samurai, a movie which Adam made Carter watch because he knows he hates it.

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Movie Synopsis (from IMDB): In the 1870s, Captain Nathan Algren (Tom Cruise), a cynical veteran of the American Civil war who will work for anyone, is hired by Americans who want lucrative contracts with the Emperor of Japan to train the peasant conscripts for the first standing imperial army in modern warfare using firearms. The imperial Omura cabinet's first priority is to repress a rebellion of traditionalist Samurai -hereditary warriors- who remain devoted to the sacred dynasty but reject the Westernizing policy and even refuse firearms. Yet when his ill-prepared superior force sets out too soon, their panic allows the sword-wielding samurai to crush them. Badly wounded, Algren's courageous stand makes the samurai leader Katsumoto (Ken Watanabe) spare his life; once nursed to health he learns to know and respect the old Japanese way, and participates as advisor in Katsumoto's failed attempt to save the Bushido tradition, but Omura gets repressive laws enacted- he must now choose to honor his loyalty to one of the embittered sides when the conflict returns to the battlefield.

Carter's Verdict: 5/10

Adam's Verdict: 6.5/10

Next Time: Since Adam picked something he knows that Carter dislikes this time, Carter decided to respond in kind, by choosing something he owns that Adam doesn't care for. To this end, the next podcast will concern Blade 2.

Episode #1: Swimming With Sharks

made.men.tell.no.tales.podcast@gmail.com (Carter Vance & Adam Barrett) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 20:59:00 +0000

In this episode, after introducing ourselves, we discuss the Kevin Spacey masterwork, Swimming With Sharks. There are some audio isssues, which we hope to fix in later episodes and, also, there's no music, we'll have to find some Creative Commons stuff that we like.

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Movie Synopsis (from IMDB): Movie producer Buddy Ackerman (Kevin Spacey) is one of Hollywood's most powerful men whose quickly on the rise for someone else's higher profile job. But that doesn't make Buddy such a nice guy, which his very naive assistant Guy (Frank Whaley) is just about to learn. As he barely endures and tolerates Buddy's daily rituals of constant abuse and humiliation in front of the office, Guy has his own agenda to rise within Hollywood's ranks and Buddy is his only ticket there. But when Guy learns a potentially explosive personal secret involving both he, his producer girlfriend (Michelle Forbes) and his boss, he's decided he's had just enough. Now Buddy is about to be on a much harsher receiving end of Guy's wrath when he's been kidnapped, held hostage, and relentlessly tortured in his own home, with both men having no idea how this night is going to end when the cards will finally be on the table.

A Classic Scene

Adam's Verdict: 7/10

Carter's Verdict: 7/10

Next Time: Since Carter picked this movie, Adam got to pick the next one . . . and he chose The Last Samurai, that should tell you something.

Please send questions, comments or concerns to: made.men.tell.no.tales.podcast@gmail.com