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#SYTYCD “Awesome Dance of the Week” - Top 12 (DonnaK)

By DonnaK

The stakes - and the quality of the dances - just keeps going up.

DonnaK: I challenge anyone to tell tell me with a straight face that this isn’t the best group of dancers ever on So You Think You Can Dance. These top twelve dancers have so much passion, skill, and fire that it amazes me every week to see what they’ll be able to tackle this time around. Amazing lot, these guys. This week every couple danced twice, so I won’t bore you to pieces going through every dance on the show, but what I will do is give you a list of what I loved, disliked, and was ambivalent towards.

DANCES I DISLIKED:
—I can’t start this list without talking about the absolutely horrid Russian Kalinka Jeanine and Phillip danced last night. There was nothing interesting or passionate about that dance, and Phillip was just a hot mess throughout it. Jeanine did her best - she was the only reason the dance worked at all. I have to agree with Nigel - they should have never put this style on the show. Horrible routine which might doom these two to the bottom three.
—I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t get behind Caitlin and Jason’s Tony Meredith fox trot. I found it totally lacking in the passion and snappiness a fox trot should have, and although Caitlin was gorgeous and elegant as ever, Jason couldn’t keep up. Jason is one of the two weak links on the show - Kupono being the other - and I wouldn’t mind seeing him leave this week. I’m afraid Caitlin might be on the chopping block as well, as I think they might be destined for the bottom three again this week.
—Kayla and Kupono just didn’t get anything going on their Joey Dowling choreographed Broadway number. I blame all of this on Kupono. Kayla is one of the two strongest woman on the show - Melissa being the other - but Kupono is so weak and not crisp or refined enough to match her. Her skill makes him look all the more worse for wear. I loved the choreography - does it make me a heretic to say I prefer Dowling’s Broadway to Tyce Diorio’s? Look for these two in the bottom three again this week.

DANCES THAT WERE JUST “MEH”:

- Randi and Evan had a rough night last night. First they took a FANTASTIC lyrical hip hop routine by the one and only Tabitha and Napoleon (Nappy Tabs rules!) and just quite pull it off. I thought their characters were dead on - no one can do a character like Evan can - but their dancing wasn’t strong enough. Randi outdanced Evan, who had a hard time popping as hard as he needed to. Not the best routine. Then Randi and Evan did just an alright job on a Pascha and Anya samba number. Again, it was just “meh”. It had good, solid techinque but lacked the fire a samba needs. And since it was choreographed by two past contestants, there was a lot to live up to. Not a bad night for these two, just not the best.

DANCES I LOVED:

—Everything Melissa and Ade did. Seriously, these two can really do no wrong. I call Melissa as both my favorite and the strongest all-around dancer on this show, and I think Ade gives Brandon a run for his money. Their Doriana Sanchez disco was a loaded number as it had to live up to the disco done by Janette and Brandon, and it did in spades. The pair were on fire on that floor, especially Ade who really let loose. Then the two tackled a Ron Montez waltz that was beautiful, elegant, and technically wonderful. I love these two - I think both of them will be in the final four
—Jeanine and Phillip did an outstanding jive choreographed by Tony Meredith that surprised the hell out of me. I didn’t think Phillip had it in him, but damn did he shake that booty! Jeanine is such a star - she always tackles and beats every challenge put in front of her. A real highlight of the night for me.
—Brandon and Janette. Oh, Brandon and Janette! Can these two do no wrong? Not in my book! That Argentine Tango choreographed by Leonardo Barrioneuvo was just out of this world. I don’t have the technical knowledge to know how technically sound the routine was, but the panel sure as hell couldn’t praise the technique enough, and that’s enough for me. What I do know is that it moved me and I felt the passion between those two like a raging inferno. Wonderfully done.

And this brings me to my Awesome Dances of the Week Award. Yes, I said *dances*, because I’m honestly torn on which dance was the most awesome. Our first winner was the Wade Robson jazz routine done by Janette and Brandon. WOW was that a thing to see or what! Such use of the stage, such precision dancing, such power and mastery! It was truly a thing of beauty and fun as all hell to watch. Completely awesome job and deserving of the award.

But… then there was the astonishing Mia Michaels contemporary number danced by Kayla and Kupono. This dance moved me to tears. I felt every ache, every rip and tear of the heart as the pair danced out an addiction on stage. It was breathtaking choreography and danced to perfection. Well, almost to perfection. Kayla was absolutely perfect, but Kupono once again couldn’t quite keep up. His lack of power dragged the routine down a bit, but not enough to truly dampen it. A truly fantastic piece deserving of the award. So there you go - a tie for The Awesome Dance of the Week.

I see the remaining six couples in two distinct groups. I think that Janette and Brandon, Melissa and Ade and Randi and Evan are clearly the best three couples left. The other three - Caitlin and Jason, Kayla and Kupono and Jeanine and Phillip fall squarely then into the bottom three, and I think that’s how this will shake out tonight. I’m sad to see any of the girls leave, but I think since one had to go it will sadle by Caitlin. For the boys either Kupono or Jason, although I would GREATLY like to see Kupono get the axe. He’s been dragging Kayla down long enough.

Okay, floor’s open! What did you guys think of the show? Who’s staying and who’s going? And what do you think about the partner shake-up next week? Let’s hear it!

Tags: sytycd,so you think you can dance,mia michaels,nigel lythgoe,phillip chbeep,randi evans

Where I’ve been (JimK)

By JimK

Short version: ROAD BIKE + life change. Long version inside.

JimK: If you want to know where in the blue hell I have been, I have an explanation:

That, my friends, is a 2009 Giant Defy 3. her name is Jasmine, and her story is kind of interesting. Let me tell you it.

I have been looking around for a decent bike shop. We have a few to choose from around here. One of them treated me like a red-headed stepchild for daring to bring a Walmart bike into their sacred space and asking that it be made to work as well as could be expected from a $150 Walmart bike. One shop is jammed up for 6 weeks in advance, but has always treated me well. One shop treated me like I spent a million dollars in there.. I wanted to get the fork that came on my Walmart bike replaced with a simple rigid fork. They dug around the basement and found one that fit perfectly and sold & installed it - same day!- for $50 bucks. When I picked it up, they took time to chat with me about my cycling goals, what I hoped to achieve, the fact that I am going to ride the Summer Breeze Century, etc. And also made me feel good about riding my Walmart bike…one of the mechanics said “Look, you know it;s not high quality, but youare riding and that is the important thing. I tell everyone…ride what you have and save up for something nicer. But just ride, that’s the key thing!” Nice to hear that instead of the usual bike shop snobbery.

They also gave me a couple of free Bonk Breaker bars, which is like giving that first hit of crack for free. Hooked, and hooked hard. Love ‘em way more than Clif bars. A few days later, when I needed more, I thought I would support my local bike shop (hereafter abbreviated as LBS) and buy the bars from them. So I walk in and the owner is all “Wow! I was absolutely going to call you!”

Okay. Uhh, why? “You have to see what I got yesterday. Come downstairs with me.” And I’m thinking Okaaaaay. Am I gonna get prison-buttsexed here? But I go anyway, so what does that tell you about me, right

He leads me down into this underground bike storage area they have (the shop itself is about the size of my bedroom!). Sitting perched delicately against a stack of bokes is the Giant Defy 3 you see above. Bathed in fluorescent light, in a dirty storeroom, she called out to me.

“This guy loved the Giant Defy line so much he returned this and upgraded to the Defy Advanced. He rode this for just under a month. The minute I saw it come back I thought of you.”

“Yeah but I cannot afford this. Like, at all.”

“Just test ride it. See if it fits.”

We made a few adjustments and I test rode it around the block a few times. When i rolled it back into the shop, I asked the owner if it would get me arrested if I had sex with the bike. Basically we jawed for awhile and I left on the “I can’t afford it” line.

Few days later I needed to talk to someone about gloves. I go back in. He starts in on me about riding the century on my Walmart Schwinn, and how it’s only going to be hard, no fun, it’ll hurt me, I’ll barely make the goal of 50 miles, etc. I know he wanted to sell the bike, but he was also speaking the truth.

“Look, you know my price on these Defys is $750. This is used, and it has a scratch. So…$650 and I’ll swap the tires to 28s and give you steel pedals instead of the plastic ones.”

“Can’t do it. I just can’t.”

“I’m not selling this bike to anyone else. This is your bike. It;s the next step for you. More expensive bikes would be a waste, but less bike would not help you improve. This is the perfect bike for you right now, and you need to ride something good in that century.”

“I know. I know what you are saying is right, but I literally do not have the money. I just begged the internets at large to help me pay for my web server. I fucking cannot buy this bike!”

“$600. I can still call that a profit because of what I made from the first owner. I’m not kidding, I want to see you on this bike.”

“You sound like a used car salesman.”

“Dude I know, but I promise you I am being sincere. You and this bike came together at this time for a reason. You said you might have some cash coming your way for your birthday in August, right?”

“Yes. But it’s the end of June. And the century is mid-July, so that doesn’t help me much.”

“Okay here’s what we’re going to do. You are going to rent this bike from me. For like, a month. You ride it like you own it and if anything breaks we’ll get it fixed under Giant’s warranty. In August, if you don’t buy it, I’ll charge you a reasonable rental. Like, $75 or $100. If you do buy it, then you have been riding your bike all along and we’ll do it for $550. I need to make something on the transaction, so that’s my lowest price.”

“So basically I get to ride it now and pay later?” At this point I am absolutely fucking taking this bike home.

“Yes, and I’m an idiot for doing this but I want you on this bike this week.”

I gave him a credit card - the last one I have with any room on it at all - for deposit purposes and took her home.

Been riding her like I stole her ever since. This is what riding is for me. This kind of bike enhances that feeling of flying, of freedom that Zen thing I get when rolling just right down a smooth road. It makes riding both more challenging and yet easier at the same time. Now, I’m not *much* faster on this bike than I was on the 40 pounds of Walmart steel. But as I drop weight and get stronger, this bike will allow me to get faster, where the Walmart bike was always going to be limited by size, quality, geometry, wheels and gearing. Example: There is a hill I hit on the way home every time I ride the Canal trail. I have NEVER, no matter how hard I pedaled, gotten past 34 miles an hour going down that damn hill.

Jasmine did it at 39.9 first try. I love her soooooooo much. Last night Donna called her “the other woman.” and I didn’t correct her.

So maybe you’re wondering why I named her Jasmine. Well, I’ll tell you.

Now, the Defy 3. It’s blue. In the 90s there was a little wrestling promotion called Eastern Championship Wrestling, and I was a fan. There was a guy called The Blue Meanie. Silly and goofy and fat, stuffed into super tight clothing, but the guy had skills. Here’s his Wikipedia pic:

He went on to work for years, at various points being managed by - and dating in real life - porn actress Jasmine St. Claire.

I was never going to be a guy that wore bike clothes, but once you try them you get it. I was still not going to be the guy that matched his clothes, but Donna convinced me that if you are going to do it, do it right. So I have a set of red gear and a set of blue gear. I am a big ol’ bastard with all blue gear, riding a blue bike. The Blue Meanie rode Jasmine.

And so the bike is named Jasmine. I know the danger of naming a thing before it is officially yours, but…I mean…look at her:

A thing of beauty is a joy forever.

You can see a gallery of pics here. And if you follow my Twitter feed I constantly go one and on about riding and twitpic crap from my rides all the time.

So in summary, she’s not mine yet, but she will be, of this I have no doubt. I have a tiny amount of room left on a credit card, plus the in-laws usually give me a little cash for my birthday. I think I can make it happen. Of course, I will be maxed in debt, but fuck it, right? You only live once. Until they perfect brain downloads, anyway.

Oh, also, you know, no biggie, but my life has radically changed, and is changing faster all the time. I spend a lot of time doing things instead of reading about things now. I am going back to school and changing what I do with my life. I plan to become a Fitness Specialist, then a personal trainer, then perhaps a physical therapy assistant, and after that? Who knows. The fitness industry is one of the only things that grows regardless of the economy. If there is one thing America will NEVER have a shortage of, it’s fat people willing to pay someone else to help them lose weight.

More importantly, a career like this will keep me moving and keep me active, and what I have learned about myself is that I am an active person. I didn’t remember that about myself. I was an very active kid, a pretty damn active teen, and then I just…stopped. Getting a few certificates that will allow people to hire me in the fitness industry will keep me moving, and keep me from backsliding. This weight is never coming back. Never. Not unless I literally cannot help it because I lost my arms and legs in a thresher/combine accident and a crazy farm lady is now holding me in her basement force-feeding me lard and bread all day.

I’m going to a local community college for a certificate program as a Fitness Specialist. Then I sit for like, a half-dozen certificate tests and bam. I get to make half-decent money, set my own hours and even train people on my own once I get a reputation. I even have some half-baked ideas about combining cycling and personal training for regular people - especially overweight people who are intimidated by bike shops and riding and personal trainers. I want to be the guy that shows them what is possible, and shows them how easy it is to get started. I want to help them navigate the bike jargon, the snobbishness of the shops, give people advice on what works and what is a waste of money, etc. I want to see more fat people on bikes!

I think I can make it happen. I just need those pieces of paper that tell others that someone, somewhere certified me.

I know. tl;dr, right? But hey, I’m posting. I promise I will post more. It will probably be a lot about riding my bike, because I am WAY obsessed with it. Hopefully someone will care.

Tags: personal,fitness,cycling,bike,bicycle,school

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Rann)

By Rann

Snarling fanboys and sneering critics can’t keep this from being an awesome movie, no matter how much they’d like to.

Rann: Let’s face it, the Transformers sequel probably already counts as a “critical bomb”, whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean considering that it made back its budget in its opening week. The given reasons are wide, varied, and often complete opposites of each other. So why, exactly, is everyone who thinks their opinion important because it appears in print seemingly enraged by this movie? Mister Ebert, who has an average of being right about one in ten times in my personal opinion, considered his hatred of this movie important enough to dedicate two articles to saying how much it sucked because he said so. Why?

Well, I think there are a lot of reasons. Politics figures into it a little, but I’ll just mention that I think it does and not go into it. Popularity is another. The review press has its own popularity trends it follows, as much if not more than the Hollywood movies it reviews. It’s always been popular to hate sequels… a sequel has to be a magnum opus of near-unprecedented heights to get reviewers to even admit that it might be as good as the first. It’s also fairly popular to hate Michael Bay, as he’s joined the ranks of a select few Hollywood personalities that, far beyond their actual flaws as actors and filmmakers (or people), are simply chic to savage in the press. The general worthlessness of “professional critics” in general.

But these cannot detract from the fact that this is an awesome movie. And I don’t even mean that in a “lay back and turn off your brain, munch some popcorn, watch explosions” way. I mean that it’s an awesome movie in the same way that Arnold Schwarzenegger is a great actor.

See, that’s the thing. If you’re not so set on going “Hurf durf, his accent is funnee!!” and it’s a role where he’s actually allowed to emote, Schwarzenegger has far better acting chops than a lot of those the review press would like to canonize. He can emote with sincerity and believability, he has a range of expressions that make other guys look like they’re the emotionless killing machines from the future, and in general he’s just pretty damned good.

Transformers 2 is the same way. If you’re not sitting there thinking “Hurf durf, when’s the next explosion?!”, it’s actually a really good movie. It’s not perfect, as if making a movie with an annoying scene or two were a sin, but it’s pretty damn good. And in their own way, even the annoying, gratuitous scenes have their place in building up the larger picture.

Most people probably know the general gist of the story by now. Sam is heading off to college, but is dragged back into the war between Autobots and Decepticons, which is heating up again right here on Earth. Megatron is back, and he’s pissed off. I don’t want to spoil too much, but there will be spoilers in here, as I go through and hit on a few things I find notable.

The early scenes with Sam’s parents are annoying as hell. They’re reminiscent of a lot of the scenes with the two of them in the first movie, Michael Bay’s idea of a comedy couple really. They seem to make the early bits of the movie where the robots aren’t fighting a bit of a drag. During the scene where Sam’s mom gets whacked out on magic brownies and goes running around like a psycho, I rolled my eyes and wished we could get past this particular Bay-ism as soon as possible. The thing is, these early scenes of ridiculousness with Sam’s parents come back to your mind later on, when the two are actually called upon to emote, to be real people for the first time since they’ve appeared in these movies, really. For me, it made them much more empathetic than they otherwise would have been. I’ve seen my parents be like that, goofy, argue over stupid stuff, do ridiculously silly and embarrassing things. And I’ve seen them at their intense moments, facing the really bad stuff life can throw at you. All of a sudden Sam’s parents were my parents, and I really think that’s what Bay was trying for. He was hoping to hit that spot in everyone that has seen their parents be annoying as hell, but somewhere knows that if they were hurt and bleeding in the sand in some godforsaken pit on the other side of world, their parents would demand to be right there beside them.

The scene where Optimus takes on the elite of the Decepticon forces and can’t quite stand up to them all gave me a rush and tingles in a way that even their original to-the-end battle in the original animated movie didn’t. It’s a different kind of tension, an understanding that this is more than just two old foes smashing against each other because it’s what they’ve done for millions of years. That original fight, the original death, was almost perfunctory. Here, Optimus may be fighting that age old battle, he may be fighting to protect the Earth, he may be continuing the war, but on a much more basic level, he’s fighting to save a single person who’s twenty feet away. While we’d like to say we understand it, can create empathy for it, I really don’t think most of us can quite grasp the idea of leading an ancient war, or fighting to protect the entire planet. Fighting and giving it all to protect one person is something I think everyone could understand and empathize with. And thus, Sam’s drive to bring him back, to find the Matrix of Leadership and call Optimus back to put an end to the Fallen, becomes not just someone wanting to bring back the great leader, the savior of their cause… it becomes one person trying to save the person that had saved him.

Sam’s a more interesting character this time around as well, while still being the same character. It’s a good job on behalf of both the writing and Shia LeBouf’s acting that they pulled this off, that this is still the same goofy, awkward guy, but having grown two years older and had a steady girlfriend for those two years. He’s neither exactly the same nor is he wildly different for his offscreen experiences. Both Sam and Mikaela manage to seem like real people and nuanced characters, even if they’re still a bit silly and overblown like most Michael Bay influenced characters. Sam’s moment of “I don’t want to be special, I just want to be normal” carries off a lot better than many such attempts do, in part because of the subject matter. Too often, the hero is granted some magnificent powers and gifts along with their responsibilities, and they hate their superstrength, their lightning-quick reflexes, their ability to make the world’s most delicious pizza appear from nowhere as much as they do their destiny to slaughter the ancient evil. Sam hasn’t been given any powers, he’s not being offered any reward on the side, he really isn’t being given anything in return for being asked to fight in a war. Even if you don’t agree, you can still understand why he doesn’t want to be part of it.

Diverging far away from that, there’s just a lot of stupid humor in this one. Fart humor, humping humor, all that kind of stuff. This was apparently a decision not just on Bay’s part, but multiple peoples’ part, to try and “balance” the higher rev of the action and drama. It really doesn’t work, and it really wasn’t necessary, but it lasts for a second or two at a time so oh well. Roll your eyes at it and then stick them back on the screen so you don’t miss any of the good stuff.

The Twins have also been massively controversial, in a way that only the Hollywood press can blow something like that out of proportion. Their personalities seem to be largely the fault of their voice actors, and even those guys have basically said “Yeah, our bad” in reaction to the outrage. And they are annoying and goofy… they’re kind of supposed to be. Who would take Transformers that willingly chose those altmodes seriously? But again, most of the goofy points with the Twins don’t last too long, and even they get their moments in the sun… their time to be “human”, as it were, their own chance to be awesome.

Arcee, despite Bay’s misinformation campaign, does indeed live through most/all of the movie. That rather odd qualification is related to a story snarl it’s unlikely will ever be resolved, and I’ll explain it if someone reeeeeally wants me to, but be warned, it’s nerdiness most high.

The Transformers designs have been revised a little further, and though there’s still not the solid panels of bright colors that would help to distinguish them utterly from each other, I never really had any problems. The individual Autobots don’t get as much screentime or chance to diversify as they did the first time around… more robot-versus-robot fight scenes means less time for them to stand around emoting, and Sideswipe is just kind of… there. And almost none of the Decepticons get any amount of personality besides Megatron, Starscream, and the Fallen. And, well, Soundwave, but it’s canon that he doesn’t have one and we like him that way, dammit.

In conclusion, let me say this. If you go into this movie and do as you’re so often instructed when critics are forced to admit that a movie is entertaining without having an important message, “shut off your brain and enjoy the ride”, will Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen be a cool popcorn-munching summer action flick? Yeah, most likely. But here’s a wild thought. Leave your brain on. Flick the switch so that your emotions are engaged, too. You may have to think some more about the logical absurdities, but you might also discover that there’s more to the movie than explosions and robots shooting each other in the face.

Tags: movies,review,robots,transformers,Review,reviews

#SYTYCD “Awesome Dance of the Week” - Top 14 (DonnaK)

By DonnaK

This was possibly the best week of So You Think You Can Dance I’ve seen yet.

DonnaK: Hot damn these dancers were on fire last night! Truly, all of the performances were out of this world, and I can never really say that. Even the weaker ones weren’t bad, just a little weaker than the others. It was hilarious at our house. I watch the show with a notepad taking down all the pertinent info I need for these posts - dancers names, choreographer, style, etc. When I like a dance but am not wowed by it, I leave the line of info untouched. When I think it was quite strong, I put a check next to it. When I *LOVE* it, I star it. When I don’t like it or am calling it for bottom three, I cross it out. This week I had FOUR starred entries and only two that were crossed out - that’s how good a show this was.

We started out with Janette and Brandon doing one HELL of cha-cha that was choreographed by Jean-Marc Genereux and France. This was just out of this world. Both of these dancers are at the pinnacle of this competition and I can’t see any reason why both of them won’t make the Top 10. Janette, who I tend overlook sometimes, was just on fire, and Brandon was his usual amazing self (eat it, Mia!). My one complaint, which is something that Jim very aptly pointed out to me? Brandon kept looking at and playing to the audience instead of looking at and playing to his partner. That’s a huge no-no and I’m surprised he didn’t get called on it. One of my starred dances.

Next up were Kayla and Kupono doing a Sonya Tayek contemporary routine. This dance caused a split in our house - Jim hated it but I liked it quite a bit. Sonya’s choreography is really hit or miss with me, but this one hit, especially with Kayla giving it here absolute all like that. I’m liking Kupono less and less - I don’t think he’s growing and I don’t think he should still be here. Despite the fact that I liked this number - and especially Kayla in it - I’m calling it for the bottom three. I think it might be just too much weirdness for America.

Randi and Evan completely blew me away next with an amazing Broadway routine choreographed by Joey Dowling. I’ve not seen Dowling’s work before but I loved it - quite lyrical and smooth. Evan was TOTALLY in the zone and danced to absolute perfection, and Randi really kept right up with him. I was honestly shocked and angry when I listened to the judges tear this routine and Evan apart. I thought they were completely in the wrong and seem to be trying to find some way to get America to vote Even into the bottom 3. I don’t understand the praise for Kupono but the tearing down of Evean, especially after such a great performance. I starred this before it was even over, that’s how good it was for me.

Caitlin and Jason were up next dancing a pop-jazz routine by Brian Friedman. Caitlin my lovely, I’m so sorry but this just didn’t work for me at all on any level. I disliked the choreography and hated the costuming. I thought the two danced as well as they could, but Caitlin couldn’t seem to pull out the inner power she has to dominate the dance as she was supposed to. This was a hot mess for me and I’m calling it for the bottom three.

Jeanine and Phillip were next and blew my mind with a Napolean and Tabitha lyrical hip-hop number. Oh my god this was so beyond amazing I just don’t have words. This is one the viewers will remember forever. It’s going to go up there with the bed dance, the flowers, the bench, the door, the briefcase. Phillip was totally in his element and popped so hard I thought he would break apart. Jeanine kept right up with him and the choreography with the chain was just amazing. Bravo you two - you got a HUGE star for that, as did Tabitha and Napoleon.

Melissa and Ade upped the ante even more with a classical pas de deux choreographed by Thordal Christensen. This was just so amazing to watch - beautiful, romantic, emotional, totally in character. The lines were amazing, the lifts, the jumps - all perfection. Definitely technically the best dance of the night and a HUGE star from me. Melissa continues to be my favorite girl on this show - keep it up!

We ended the evening on a low note when Karla and Vitolio semi-butchered a quick step choreographed by Jean-Marc Genereux and France. They tried, they really did, but it just wasn’t good enough. I didn’t find the technique up to par, although they certainly gave it their all and put their hearts into it. I just didn’t find their technique good enough to warrant much more than a passing thought. This is my last call for bottom three.

I know I usually put up videos here of my picks for The Awesome Dance of the Week and the Runner Up, but they’re getting yanked from YouTube as fast as they go up, so there’s no point at the moment. So I’m just going to announce it and hope you can find the clips on your own. After much thought I’ve giving The Awesome Dance of the Week Award to Jeanine and Phillip - and a choreographer award to Tabitha and Napolean for another fantastic routine. My VERY close runner up the pas de deux by Melissa and Ade, who were just amazing.

My calls for the bottom three are Kayla and Kupono, Caitlin and Jason and Karla and Vitolio. If I’m right I see Karla and Vitolio going home - I jut don’t think either is strong enough to stay.

Okay, floor’s open! What did you think? Who were your favorites and why? Let’s hear it!

Tags: sytycd,so you think you can dance,mia michaels,nigel lythgoe,phillip chbeep,top 20

#SYTYCD “Awesome Dance of the Week” - Top 16 (DonnaK)

By DonnaK

It’s still a tight race but there were some let downs this week.

DonnaK: This So You Think You Can Dance Top 16 is so strong and so popular that I don’t see more than a couple of weak links in it at this point. I think the judges - and America - are going to have a hard time trying to pick their “favorite” dancers amongst such incredibly strong competition. Enough platitudes, on to the show.

We started the night with Karla and Jonathan doing a Dave Scoot smooth hip hop number. I’m sorry, but this one really didn’t work for me. The choreography was there, but the dancing wasn’t. I didn’t feel any heat, any fire, or much chemistry between the two, and the dance suffered for it. Nigel was also right in pointing out the lack of symmetry between the pair as they couldn’t even get simple moves coordinated between them. Look for these two to be in the bottom three.

Asuka and Vitolio danced next in a Mandy Moore jazz routine… which just fell flat on its face. I came into this competition with Asuka as one of my favorite two girls, and now I’m seeing her as a weak link. I’ve never truly seen the talent in Vitolio that the ret of the world seems to, and this pairing, for all the “awwwww"s we got last night, ,just doesn’t do anything for me. I could visibly see the fear in both of their faces throughout the number and the dancing felt mechanical. I’m calling these two for the bottom two as well.

And then we got to watch Melissa and Ade doing a smoldering rumba choreographed by Tony Meredith, and the show *finally* started. WOW was this an amazing piece or what! For two people who don’t know ballroom they sure as hell caught on quickly! Melissa has quickly leaped her way into my heart and into position as one of the top two girls this season. This dance was hot, passionate, perfectly executed and just amazing.

Not ones to be defeated, Janette and Brandon followed that up with a Dave Scott hip hop number that set the place on fire! Brandon is really the one to beat in this competition. I’m sorry, Mia, but this kid has so much talent it’s honestly scary to watch sometimes. This pair has got it all and handled this tough number with equal parts fire and technique. Definitely on the hot tamale train in my book!

Our new couple, Kayla and Kupono danced next doing a Viennese waltz choreographed by by Jean-Marc Genereux and France. I’m sorry, but the one thought in the back of my mind the whole time they were dancing was “wow, wouldn’t this have been just SPECTACULAR with Max?” *sigh* Putting my sadness over losing Max last week aside, I have to say I disagree with Nigel. I thought these two were just gorgeous in every way and that people *will* pick up the phone for them. Any regular viewer of So You Think You Can Dance knows how hard the Viennese waltz is and will always recognize it when it’s done well, which this was. The lines and rise-and-fall were quite good and the passion was really there. Bravo to these two.

Randi and Evan were next up with a Mia Michaels contemporary number. I adore Mia’s choreography so I really enjoyed this crazy-yet-simple number. Evan had it dead-to rights - I thought he was definitely the strongest of the pair and truly living up to my high expectations of him. I could both see and feel Randi’s embarrassment during the number and it did affect the dance, but not too much. I think the judges really give Evan too much of a hard time - perhaps they’re pushing him because they see so much potential in him? Great number for me.

Caitlin and Jason were up next with a Jean-Marc Genereux and France paso double. Ummmmm… no. Just no. There was no fire, no passion, and zero chemistry between these two. Even mechanically this dance was sub par. And with “O Fortuna” as yourmusic you’d BETTER bring the fire to the party, and it was just gone. I see these two in the bottom three again tonight.

Jeanine and Phillip closed the show with a smashing Broadway number by Tyce Diorio. This piece was fun, playful, full of life and yet technically demanding. I loved it and I love them in it. Phillip is growing well but does need to work on his strength. Jeanine’s a doll who doesn’t need to work on anything. I loved this.

After all that… who gets the Awesome Dance of the Week Award? It was close, but I think Melissa and Ade edged out the competition with that fiery rumba. Oh, gods, her dress… did I mention her dress? It’s unbelievable, and so were the pair of them. Take a look…

With Melissa and Ade taking the prize this week, the runner up was easy - Janette and Brandon’s hip hop routine. Such power and technique cannot go unrewarded. Enjoy…

Look for Karla and Jonathan, Asuka and Vitolio, and Caitlin and Jason to be in the bottom three. I’m calling Karla and Jonathan to go home, but Jason wouldn’t surprise me either.

Well, there you have it - the Awesome Dance of the Week Award is out. Floor’s open - I want to hear your thoughts and opinions! Let me know what you think and check back in after the results show tonight!

Tags: sytycd,so you think you can dance,mia michaels,nigel lythgoe,phillip chbeep,top 20

#SYTYCD “Awesome Dance of the Week” - Top 18 (DonnaK)

By DonnaK

This is going to be one tough season with dancers this good!

DonnaK: I have to hand it to the judges on So You Think You Can Dance - they really picked one hell of a Top 20 this year! With only a couple of exceptions (two of whom are already gone), this group is even stronger and more talented than last year’s crop, which is really saying something. For the contestants to all be performing this well so early on in the competition I’m thinking this is going to be one HELL of a close race.

This week’s dances were all quite exceptional. Highlights of the night for me… Randi and Evan doing a Louis Van Amstel jive routine. WOW… I was completely blown away by these two. I’m on record for being a huge Evan fan, but I had never paid much attention to Randi. She’s certainly getting my attention with dances like this and her jazz routine last week. I also have to get super mad props to Karla and Johnathan for their gorgeous contemporary routine choreographed by SYTYCD Canada’s Stacey Tookey. Not only was is a beautiful routine expertly danced, it also happened to be to “Falling Slowly”, a Glen Hansard/Frames ballad I just adore. Low lights of the night begin with me having to admit to a certain degree of bias here - I just don’t really get Sonya Tayeh’s choreography. She work only moves me about half the time, and her jazz routine this week sadly wasn’t one that I liked very much at all. But I have to say that Melissa and Ade danced the HELL out of it, so props to them. Two of the weakest dances were both Shane Sparks hip hop numbers - one by Caitlin and Jason and the other by Ashley and Kupono. I expect both of them to be in the bottom three tonight. Joining them their will be the weakest dance of the night - Jeanine and Phillip’s horrendous tango choreographed by Tony Meredith. Oh, man… that was just a train wreck. I felt so bad for Phillip, but if he can’t start picking up other styles he’s not even going to make the Top 10. :(

Here’s the one routine that has me in a tizzy - Asuke and Vitolio’s Louis Van Amstel waltz. Mary cried because she was so moved by it. Lil’ C and Nigel couldn’t praise it enough. But I truly felt that Vitolio, as much as I love that boy, just flubbed it too much. Asuke was gorgeous and danced the living hell out of it, that’s for sure. But Vitolio’s inexperience showed and showed badly, and I just didn’t feel that his passion made up for his lack of technique. Were this my show, they’d be in the bottom three instead of Ashley and Kupono, but I don’t see that happening. Anyone else torn on this dance?

Enough rambling - award time! This week it was fairly easy for me. There were only two dances that were truly and totally awesome, and only one that knocked my socks right off. Of course, I’m talking about my boy Brandon and the wonderful Janette doing a Doriana Sanchez disco. Oh my gods, this was simply an awesome display of ability, grace, charisma and technique. Those two flew aall over that stage and lit it up like a Christmas tree. My favorite moment? Lil’ C finally telling Brandon that he was indeed a star and how impressed Lil’ C was by him. YAY! Validation for Brandon! Now to convert Mia Michaels! Please enjoy The Awesome Dance of the Week by Brandon and Janette:

The runner up came close to being as awesome as Janette and Brandon but fell just a little short. The runner up for Awesome Dance of the Week has to go to Kayla and Max for their amazing pop jazz routine by Brian Friedman. The characters were there, the power was there, the chemistry, the lines, the emotion - it all came together so wonderfully. I can see noticeable improvement from Max already - I think he’s going to be a force to be reckoned with. And Kayla had been under my radar, but now I’m going to be keeping a close eye on her. These two are phenomenal, so please enjoy this great Runner Up number by Kayla and Max:

Well, there you go - the Awesome Dance of the Week Awards are out. Floor’s open to anyone who wants to jump in - what do you guys think? What dances moved you and which didn’t? I’d love to hear it!

Tags: sytycd,so you think you can dance,mia michaels,nigel lythgoe,phillip chbeep,top 20

The Matrix Online gets zapped (Rann)

By Rann

There is no server.

Rann: On the 31st of July, the servers of The Matrix Online will close down for the last time. What was a bold concept… directly continuing the story from a series of movies in an online environment, allowing players to shape the growing storyline, rather than just being plopped into some “will disappear into history” era of the continuity… could not overcome a poor interface, an inability to properly distinguish itself in the burgeoning market, and the fact that you may as well admit to having tiny shrunken testicles as admit to liking the second two movies in the trilogy.

In a way, The Matrix Online passing is very sad. We’re unlikely to see a property step out on the line like that and give the players a chance to affect the canon of the story that people actually care about again. On the other hand, it was mostly inevitable.

I do have to snort at something from the forum post I linked:

Are The Matrix Online subscribers going to be compensated for their loyalty to the game?
On July 31, 2009 at 11:59PM PST the ability to play The Matrix Online will cease. We encourage players to transition their active service to one of the other SOE games available for trial during the transition period of June 1 through August 1, 2009.

You know, if you’re going to have the ball-balls to actually address that inevitable (and probably already-asked) question, you could at least upgrade to the +1 kind and admit that the answer is “No”.

Actually, the only reason I really felt like posting this was because when the game first started, I wasn’t really playing MMOs, and made the argument to someone that without something like an individual, computer-side version of the game, if the servers ever went down you’d be SOL and that game disk would become a forty dollar several gram piece of plastic. He replied “Dude! It’s SOE! Those servers will be up forever!”

Via GU Comics, with graphical representation.

Tags: games,matrix online

#SYTYCD “Awesome Dance of the Week” - Top 20 (DonnaK)

By DonnaK

So You Think You Can Dance returned with a vengeance this week… but what do the Made of Awesome Judges think?

DonnaK: Before I talk about the routines last night I want to say a few words about the auditions and Vegas week. Watching the audition episodes of SYTYCD isn’t anything like watching the American Idol auditions. At the AI auditions we see mainly the worst of the worst, the jokes, and the handicapped. I have always found that trend grotesque and I’ve never appreciated having my time wasted like that. This is certainly never been the case with So You Think You Can Dance. Here when we see the auditions we usually see the best of the best, the shining stars, and the criticisms aren’t harsh bile but tempered and sage advice. Having said all that, I did find that this season’s audition episodes looked a bit more like AI then SYTYCD. There was a greater emphasis on the negative and less focus on the breakout stars. As a result, when we got to Vegas I knew fewer people and had made fewer connections with those that had made it through. SYTYCD really needs to work harder to stay away from the AI formula and keep to its own higher standards as it has in the past.

Vegas week turned out to be as tough as anything I’ve ever seen on a reality show. Make no mistake about it - these kids can DANCE. There is no half-assing anything on this show. You either pick up what’s thrown at you or you’re out. The judging was harsh but, for the most part fair… save for two notable exceptions in my mind.

The first big judging mistake was cutting Natalie, the fiery redhead contemporary dancer, without even letting her dance for her life. This woman, in my mind, was the most talented female dancer I had seen so far and to let her go so easily I felt and still feel was a most tragic mistake. I had already been laying odds on her making it to the top ten, and to see her go without even giving her the life-saving break of dancing for her life was wrong. This competition will be lesser without her in it.

The second huge problem I had in Vegas was the ridiculous, unfounded and unduly harsh treatment of Brandon throughout the judging process. Brandon in my mind (and at least two of the judges) is easily the best dancer on the show. He has all the power of Will from last season with more technique and agility. He is a genuine force and breath-taking to watch… except apparently to Lil’ C and Mia Michaels, who were both on the judging panel in Vegas. Now, I have MAD respect for Lil’ C and everyone who read last year knows I think Mia Michaels is nothing short of a genius, but both of them pounded Brandon with harsh words and extremely sharp criticisms throughout the week. Even at the end, when they were telling him he had made the top 20, Michaels couldn’t resist getting in several sharp blows to his ability and ego before Mary Murphy - one of Brandon’s huge champions - pretty much ordered her to stop whilst shaking with anger. I love Mia but she absolutely went too far with her assault on Brandon. It was against the spirit of the criticisms on So You Think You Can Dance - it was harsh and purely negative instead of being constructive and useful. I also think that in Mia’s zeal to attack Brandon she made an enemy of Mary Murphy, which is about the last thing you want to do on this show. It will be interesting to see how this plays out throughout the season.

All in all I left Vegas week with two girls and three guys as my early favorites to win this year. For the girls I’m simply in love with Caitlin and Asuka, who both just shine not only in their own styles but in everything else. For the boys I have my eye on Brandon and Evan, with Kupono as a close third. If I had to pick a winner right now it’d have to be Brandon, with Caitlin right behind.

Okay, onto last night’s show. I have to hand it to the judges - we got a strong and extremely capable top 20 this year once again. All the dances were wonderful and none really stood out for me as bad. I wasn’t a fan of Tyce Diorio’s Broadway choreography for Asuke and Vitolio, and Wade Robson’s jazz number for Ashley and Kupono, while it worked, put me off more than a little. I have to give HUGE props to Napoleon and Tabitha’s work last night as they continue to be some of my very favorite choreographers. Their lyrical hip-hop number for Jeanine and Philip was outstanding and I loved their straight hip-hop dance for Paris and Tony. And, of course, it’s impossible not to mention how spectacular the Bollywood routine choreographed by Nakal Dev Mahajan for Caitlin and Jason was. Wonderful work all around.

But I have only one Awesome Dance of the Week award to give out, and this week it’s going to Melissa and Ade for their Mandy Moore choreographed contemporary routine to Richard Marx’s “Waiting for You”. The power, lyricism and majesty of both Melissa and Ade was breathtaking. Their lines were perfect and their chemistry was undeniable. I was completely blown away by this routine, and so I give you Melissa and Ade, winners of my Awesome Dance of the Week Award for the Top 20:

However, I can’t let this go without giving you a runner up. As much as I adored Melissa and Ade, I almost equally adored Kayla and Max dancing an amazing samba choreographed by Louis Van Amstel. Kayla had never done ballroom before this dance, but you would never know it the way she shimmied, shook and glided her way across the stage. This was such a fantastic number that I had to make it my runner up, so please enjoy Kayla and Max doing a samba that will make your head spin:

My picks for the bottom three? Sadly I think Asuka and Vitolio will land there due to the choreography, not their dancing. Paris and Tony will join them, as will Ashley and Kupono. I have NO idea who the judges will send home - I think a lot will depend on their solos. I would hate to be in the judges shoes tonight!

So there you go, the Awesome Dance of the Week awards are out. I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts about the show and what dancers you like or dislike and what routines moved you. Floor’s open, let’s hear it!

Tags: sytycd,so you think you can dance,mia michaels,nigel lythgoe,phillip chbeep,top 20

$245,500 replica supertankers are pure awesome (JimK)

By JimK

I. DO. WANT.

JimK: Seriously though. Does this not seem like it would be super awesome to take out in the Long Island Sound?

The real thing is a quarter of a mile long and full of highly flammable cargo - and must be safely piloted on the high seas.

So it’s no wonder they start you out on one of these little ones.

The two little boats seen here are replica oil supertankers, used for training captains who want to take charge of the real thing.
mini supertankers

They are electronically powered and worth £150,000 - which rules them out as a toy, for those who thought they looked like great fun.

Why do those guys look so miserable when this is obviously so cool? It’s like a giant toy and a boat and a frigging supertanker but small enough that you won’t kill all of Alaska if you wreck it. Also, probably faster than pirate dingys if you happen to take it to Somali waters.

People, I know there’s a server fund drive on now, but if you would rather just buy me a quarter-million dollar replica supertanker, that would be just fine by me. I’ll rent that bitch out for parties, water taxi, porn shoots, whatever. Server will get paid if someone buys me a toy supertanker that I can actually drive on real water.

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Bret Michaels gets hit in the face with a stage (JimK)

By JimK

Well…the backdrop anyway.

JimK: SO much awesome:

How do you not see that? I’m guessing the old man needs glasses, yo.

Hat tip: jszehr (twitter - blog)

Tags: bret michaels,youtube,celebrity,YouTube,celebridiot,stage accident

On the uselessness of the ESRB (Rann)

By Rann

In which I go into detail about a uselessness most people are already aware of.

Rann: I suppose I should preface this by saying that the ESRB isn’t all bad. It’s a way for the industry to say “Hey, at least we’re trying”, and get at least some amount of the moral guardianship off their backs. It’s arguably helped the industry weather some of the outrage about violence and so on by saying “Hey, we have ratings, parents can use ‘em to know what they should and shouldn’t buy for their kids.”

I think the problem is that a lot of people have actually bought into this notion. Including a lot of gamers.

One forum I follow that discusses/rips apart a particularly bad writer/artist’s work was referring to a recent comic he did, where it showed a young boy’s mother being shocked by the violence in Gears of War. A number of people immediately launched into a litany of “Stupid bitch! It’s rated M, you should have known it was violent! Why the hell did you buy it for him if you’re not okay with him playing violent games?!” To… y’know, the character… but that’s not the point. Leaving aside the myriad other ways the kid could have gotten his hands on the game other than his mother buying it for him, even if she did buy it for him, that would go to illustrate just how useless the rating system is, and probably echoes a problem that happens quite often.

Because while it’s not like anything vaguely more intense than a Barbie game is gonna get an M, it’s also not that difficult. The Halo series was rated MA/M, and considering it’s popularity, it’s probably not that unfair to say that a lot of people could thusly judge their expectations of what that rating means off of it. If a kid managed to demo Halo to their parents in a store, most of them that aren’t Moral Guardians themselves would probably cave. Sure, there’s violence… people getting shot, the occasional brief spurt of blood, some gross stuff, all that. But hey, if you let your kids watch TV past seven on a weeknight, they’ve probably seen worse, so why not? And so when the kid comes to them with Gears of War and they see the same rating on it, it’s really difficult to call them idiots for expecting roughly the same level of stuff. But occasional sprays of blood and mostly immaculate explosions is a long way from graphically cutting someone’s entire body in half with a giant chainsaw (which is what shocked the mother in the comic, by the way). The violence in Gears of War and the violence in Halo are two pretty damn different things. If you pumped someone full of a clip’s worth of Needler rounds in the style of Gears of War, you’d probably be able to go in and take a close-up look at the gaping, sucking craters of bloody wounds that it had caused. That’s a long way from just being a bit banged up or even largely immaculate but just flopped out in a funny position like when you Needle someone to death in Halo.

The same exact thing happened with the R rating for movies. Think of pretty much any action cop movie you care to, with guns blazing and the occasional F-bomb dropped and maybe even a flash of boob. Maybe not something you’d want to let your five-year-old watch, but hey, the ten-year-old or twelve-year-old? It’s unlikely to scar them to see a gun bang and someone go flying back and fall over.

Then think about the fact that 300 got that same R rating the action cop movie did. Or hell, to compare period pieces about war, think about the fact that Braveheart and 300 got the same R rating.

It’s really easy to blame parents that you see as too stupid to pay attention to the ratings. And hey, some of them really are that stupid. But the MPAA ratings are so broad and in many cases arbitrary that a parent who’s just trying to judge on the rating it got could go in without knowing what they’re in store for. When everything from a few slightly graphic gunshots to a bunch of people laying around with their organs spilled all over the floor falls under the same “graphic violence” heading, how’s the parent at fault for not knowing what it means? Sure, you can say that it’s still the parent’s responsibility to vet the movie beforehand or whatnot, but then we’re getting into an area where you wonder what the point of having the rating is.

And the R rating is a good example of where the M rating is going to wind up heading, because we’re seeing it in action now. Hell, we’ve already been down this road with the X rating. Originally the X rating was just for stuff that went a little further than R… stuff that was a little too graphic, sex that was a little too sexy, etc. But because so many theaters refused to carry it due to the restrictions on who could get in to see it, it morphed into the porno rating. And I think we’re now seeing the same thing happening to R.

The influx of PG-13 rated horror movies and action movies and so on is indicative of how some studios are coming to see the R rating as a bit of poison, because that’s a whole four years of demographic that they might theoretically be cutting out. And so they recut movies down to the most technical of qualifications to get a PG-13 and figure “We’ll release the ‘uncut version’ on DVD later.” What this is doing is simultaneously slowly turning the R rating into that same movie theater taboo that the X rating once was, and broadening what the PG-13 rating really means by leaps and bounds at the same time. Both of these taken together could very well mean that within a decade or so, you could wind up seeing the R rating verboten at a number of theaters… after all, not only are not many movies being made with that rating, but look at what they allow in a PG-13 movie! If they put worse than that in the movie, then just carrying it could get the place picketed!

And of course then eventually the whole thing will start all over again with PG versus PG-13. We could be less than twenty years away from Sam Raimi or Wes Craven putting out their first G-rated horror movie, “The Grumpy”.

It’s a difficult problem to address, largely because it’s a question of nuance and keeping things simple enough for the average person to grasp, as well as the momentum the industry is already putting behind it. However, I think the simplest solution would be to deemphasize the letter and be more specific with the actual text. I mean, how many of you out there really ever even read the text that goes with the rating of any individual movie. It’s squashed on there so tiny most peoples’ brains probably apply the “small print” filter to it and never see it as more than a couple of squiggles, because we’ve been trained to go right for that huge “R” or “PG-13” or “M” or “T”. The simplest, most effective solution would be to make the big letter smaller. Turn it back into the general guideline it’s supposed to be, and then stop using vague blanket terms like “graphic violence” in the description. Heck, properly utilized, this could become a helluva marketing tool, far moreso than it is today. Let the game company or studio write its own blurb, if the blurb is judged to be generally accurate and acceptable, send it on through.

Halo
MA
Game contains non-explicit gun and explosion violence with small amounts of human and alien blood, as well as alien creatures that could be considered horrifying.

There. It’s short enough that most people aren’t going to shut off their brains just looking at it, but long enough that it gives you a sense of just what it’s going to have in it. The style and type of the violence says that you’re not likely to see anyone’s limbs go flying off or the gaping stump where their head used to be, so if your kid doesn’t wet his bed at stories of the boogeyman, he’s probably gonna be okay.

Gears of War
M
Game contains seriously explicit violence like you would not believe. Humanoid aliens get sawed in half with giant motherf—-ing chainsaw guns in this game and it is REALLY graphic about it, down to the color of their organs. NOT FOR KIDS.

See, not only does that description send up a big flashing “Warning! Warning Ma Robinson!” to a concerned parent in the space of three sentences, other people are going to be able to look at it and say “Holy SHIT! Motherfucking chainsaw guns, motherfucker! This game really is aimed at an older audience! It’s in the warning! I am so buying this!”

Same thing for movies. You might have to make the ratings on the theater board bigger or teach the people at the ticket counter the current crop of movies’ blurbs, but it would definitely make things a lot clearer. It would almost certainly take the wind out of the sails of a lot of the complainers since people are being forewarned of exactly what they’re buying or buying a ticket to.

Plus, let’s face it, right now the ESRP and MPAA as annoying and useless as they are, are the industry regulating themselves. If they continue to go down the road of becoming obviously useless, we all know that the government’s eventually going to step in and try to do what they do, and I don’t think anyone (except maybe the Moral Guardians) want that.

Tags: movies,games,marketing,ratings,moral guardians

Explosions and boobs (JimK)

By JimK

Two great tastes that taste great together

JimK: Explosions and boobs (NSFW). It’s a website. I loaded it and got this:

Awesome. Just keep hitting reload. Don’t blame me when you look up at the clock and find out you’ve been doing it for three hours and your boss wants to fire you.

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It’s donatin’ time… (JimK)

By JimK

Time for a server drive…

I’m afraid it’s that time again…time for a server drive. With Lee’s passing, the entire cost of the server is now on my shoulders, and times - as they are for everyone I’m sure - are tight. Blogads are a thin trickle these days, not nearly enough to pay for the server. And so I’m coming to all of you hat in hand. If you find any value in any of the sites I host, please consider a small donation. Every penny will go directly to the cost of paying for the $250 a month this machine and the associated bandwidth costs me.

We host the following blogs:

Right Thinking

Right Thoughts

Made of Awesome

Wasting Time WIth Alex

Moorewatch

The Victorious Opposition

So if you are a fan of any of these sites, consider sending maybe the cost of a beer or two. The cost of a couple of beers, when multipled by a group of you, could keep us going for months. Unfortunately we only have Paypal as a donation solution, since Amazon closed their donation/payment program. Hopefully that’s okay for most people.

I wish there was a way to express to all of you how little I like doing this. Some day I will either be rich or Supreme Ruler of the Universe and then I’ll host everyone’s websites for free.

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Five Best Youtube Accounts (Rann)

By Rann

“Best” determined by an in-blog survey of users named Rann Aridorn. Satisfaction not guaranteed. Void in New Jersey, like most everything that would keep misery out of your soul.

Rann: It’s easy enough to point out cool Youtube videos. We do it, just like every other blog out there.

But the gift that keeps on giving, I think, is to actually highlight user accounts. Users who will update with more content, that you might actually use the “subscribe” function with. And so, here five truly awesome ones are, in no particular order:

Team Four Star

Creators and publishers of DBZ: Abridged. These recut, redubbed episodes will be hilarious if you like Dragonball Z, hate Dragonball Z, have a vague knowledge of Dragonball Z, or just like goofy, near-nonsensical humor that isn’t just lolomgSORANDOM. Plus, we’re nine and a half episodes in, and they’re already most of the way through the Saiyan Saga, you can’t beat that for brevity. Plus it’s got fantastic comic voice-acting that arguably improves on some of the official voices, at least in the original early-season dubs.

The Lonely Island

It’s hard to discuss parody videos without bringing up Weird Al. His name has essentially become synonymous with the entire genre, and in the old days of the original Napster, typing in “Weird Al” was a good way to get not only his songs, but every other song parody that was, by default, attributed to him. This is all because Al Yankovic understood something that so many other satirists (such as, say, the losers that make the shitty Fill-In-The-Blank Movie franchise) failed to; that it wasn’t enough to just recreate a song or a scene and replace the lyrics with fart jokes, you had to understand what you were making fun of. You had to actually get it, and if possible enjoy it and be a part of it, before you could really bring the parody to its fullest.

While the guys of Lonely Island don’t base their songs off of someone else’s, the parody’s in the genre. I’m On A Boat is such a perfect parody of bling-bling rap videos bragging about all their cars and cribs, it could probably pass undetected as one to most people if not for the main two singers being melanin impaired. It’s not particular songs, but entire musical genres getting the perfect send-up here, in thoroughly NSFW ways (if you watch the good versions of the videos, that is).

And speaking of Weird Al…

Weird Al

A mix of old favorites and new stuff, including several animated music videos by the demented mind that brought us Retarded Animal Babies. Simple, straightforward, it’s Weird Al’s youtube channel, why aren’t you already subscribed?

(Sadly, while Al seems to have been cool enough to upload his own videos to youtube, he’s not quite cool enough to allow embedding. Aw, Al, I thought you were the coolest!)

Free Science Lectures

Little “edutainment” videos, some of which are about more purely sciencey stuff, some of which are about robot fucking dinosaurs. Robot fucking dinosaurs, man! Videos of the first moon landing to clips showing transparent cement, there’s lots of neat nerdy stuff here. The selected clip is chosen especially for Jim and Donna:

Neil Cicierega

Comedian and general goofball, but what everyone really cares about is that he made the Potter Puppet Pals. (Quit crying, Neil, you know it’s true. No, Neil, I don’t think you’re pretty, and no, I don’t care that I never take you anywhere anymore.) Amusing videos, and of course the place to go to find all the PPP videos without sorting through the dozens of different uploads on them, because everyone is just so certain that no one else has uploaded this video of “Wizard Swears” that they… got off youtube. ... Okay, seriously, what’s with that?

Of course, it wouldn’t be a top ____ list without a booby prize. And this is one hell of a booby that I’ve got to throw out there, in the hopes of sharing some of the same pain that being informed of his existence has inflicted on me.

Chris-chan

Oh god, Chris-chan. Just… oh god. Oh my fucking god. While on first glance he might appear to be your average assburger whiner who just doesn’t know how to regulate himself when given a webcam and an audience, this guy’s insanity and the sheer mindfuckery of his continued existence is hard to believe. The mind attempts to reject it, to classify him as perhaps the most dedicated and ingenious troll of all time. But alas, it appears he’s for real. A strange, stupid, shameless individual literally obsessed with his bastard creation, an unholy hybrid of Pikachu and Sonic the Hedgehog, Chris-chan is the butt of the whole internet’s joke. It may be bad to make fun of retarded people, but as God is my witness, I just can’t help exposing the rest of you to him as I have been exposed, like a lily-white Englishman exposed to the horror of elder gods and French-Canadians. If you’re truly seeking some mental masochism, check out his Encyclopedia Dramatica entry, or even worse, the ENTIRE WIKI devoted to him. (You can find the link for that at the bottom of the ED page, I won’t bother since the host’s down at the moment and it just links to… something else.)

Yes. He’s entirely serious. There’s a cache of his old videos to be found across Youtube, but you’re on your own for finding those… I only have so much heart for sharing my misery.

Tags: video,fun,humor,youtube,YouTube,parody

Cap’n Reynolds as Hal Jordan? YES PLEASE. (JimK)

By JimK

Awesome fan trailer for Green Lantern, tweeted out by @NathanFillion himself.

JimK: Sometimes you see a thing and wish you could unsee it because it’s just so horrible. Then other times you wish you could unsee it because you know it will never come true and that fact hurts your heart.

Nice. I generally like fan trailers if they are even partially well-done. This one is pretty damn good, plus I love the idea of Nathan’s giant jaw in the green. Oh well. Shit in one hand, wish in the other, right Hollywood?

Tags: comics,dc,nathan fillion,green lantern