According to a mutual friend, Mike is a systems administrator and programmer for a local finance company. He does his job well. Keeping the network up and making whatever changes are needed to the program. Proving that he’s not stupid.

Why then does he believe what anyone can disprove with an O-scope you ask?

Because, through the use of his superior intellect and phenomenal reasoning capabilities, he has managed to prove, using logic well beyond the ability of the common man to understand, that his power bill on his poorly insulated mobile home is “too high.” Therefore the power company, the source of all evil, has implemented a nefarious scheme to overload our circuits, burn out our motors and make our meters spin faster in order to collect three times as much money as they are entitled to. –It couldn’t be a rate increase or crappy insulation making his bill higher and it couldn’t possibly be happening to him alone, so it must be some kind of a conspiracy.

The human race: Providing endless entertainment to logical people everywhere, since the beginning of time.

They’re Out to Get Him. is a post from: Madness Beckons

The problem was that whenever they hit a puddle the van would quit. This combined with the vehicle running out of oil by 800km and then again at another 400km, made them call the Wicked hotline. They were told to take the van to Darwin so a company mechanic could look at it.

When they got to Darwin the company said they could return the van if they were unhappy with it.

Let’s review: The van dies whenever a dog pisses on the tires and it sucks down oil like cold stubbies on a hot day. Now why wouldn’t they want to keep it?

At any rate they asked for a refund for the unused days on the rental and were told it just ain’t happening.

The representative for Wicked did have a brief comment for the press.

The Wicked depot boss yesterday would not talk to the Northern Territory News.

“It’s all good and I don’t care, so f… off,” he said.

Wicked spokesman Stephen Sealey was not available for a comment.

Ah, yes. Customer service at it’s best.

Customer Service — Not! is a post from: Madness Beckons

After a night on the drink, the 19-year-old Ukrainian man scaled down a cliff near Manly but got stuck half way and passed out.

After being alerted by a fisherman, rescue workers found him asleep on his back on a ledge 30m above sea level at North Head early yesterday morning.

And after all the fuss, a $10k rescue will probably cost this drunken tourist about $700.

Drunks Find the Most Interesting Places to Take a Nap is a post from: Madness Beckons