Magellan's Ship

How Many Licks Does It Take

2013-04-18T21:21:00.002-07:00

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? How many times did you pick up a Tootsie Pop and try? Mr. Owl says, “A-One, A-Two, A-Three!” and then “CRUNCH”. I’d like to think that I exhibited a little bit more control than just three licks before I bit into the center of the Tootsie Pop… But probably not.

So, then, how many days does it take to get over a breakup? I’m on 158 today. It feels like day two still. So, I did a little research on the “How to deal with grief over a breakup” and this is what I found…

Denial

After spending time with your significant other, a breakup can leave you in denial, pretending as if it's not happening and everything is going well. A sudden change to your lifestyle can feel abrupt, and you may not want to acknowledge what has taken place. You may tell friends you're "on a break," insinuating that you'll get back together, instead of accepting the breakup and moving on. Denial is a normal part of the grief process, and you shouldn't feel ashamed if you don't want to admit the change in your relationship status right away.

Stage One… Spending a lot of time together before leaving felt a lot like this. Basking in the denial of the train wreck I dreaded facing. Hoping that “My Knight in Shining Armor” would swoop down and pick me up and wipe away all doubts and misunderstandings and proclaim his undying love for an eternity of blissful love. Or maybe even just the adventure of doing life together for the rest of our lives. Pivotal point. Leaving because he wouldn't fight for me to stay… Or even ask me to stay. Leaving because I believed it was the right thing for me to do.

Anger

Anger can cause you to place the blame of the breakup squarely on the shoulders of your significant other. College News notes that anger is often the result of one partner betraying the trust of the other, but even if the breakup is technically your fault or idea, you may still feel angry that you were driven to the breakup. Contain your anger and make sure that you don't use it against your ex in a way that could be deemed abusive. Find other ways to release your tension, like exercising or working.

Stage 2… When I entered the relationship, I knew that I wanted to do things differently. I knew that I would always want to honor this relationship wherever it took us. So, experiencing anger at the situation seemed to contradict my desire to honor his choice. I respect that a choice cannot be made by someone else JUST to make someone happy. Choices need to come from the desire of the heart and mind – It’s a conscious heart decision. So, why would I want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me in the same way? What the hell! I felt (still feel) anger at him, anger at the situation, anger at myself. It frickin’ hurts! So I tied my shoe laces and went outside for a run…

Bargaining

Bargaining is a natural part of the grief process. As you finalize the breakup, you may suddenly feel desperate to fix things. You may plead with your partner to take you back and promise to change. If you believe in a higher power, you might submit to prayer in the hopes that your ex will change his mind and want to come back as long as you promise to be a better person. In the end, bargaining can make you feel depressed and lonely when the terms are denied.

Stage 3… Awwwh, yes. Facing some pretty terrifying family situations drove me to pick up the phone and pour my heart out. And rekindle hope. H.O.P.E. Damn hope… Unrealized hope is like a scab being ripped off a huge sore. Debilitating at times. So, I tied my shoe laces and went for another run…

Depression

After your bargaining goes in vain, depression follows, making you feel sad and upset about the state of your relationship and your life. The University of California Riverside says that depression can manifest in many ways, including frequent mood swings, loss of interest, a change in eating habits or a change in weight. The U.S. National Library of Medicine cautions that the typical grief curve lasts about two months, and that suffering from depression longer than that could warrant a trip to see your doctor for treatment.

Stage 4… Manifestations of depression. Yes. Of course. Absolutely. The grief curve is two months? What the heck? And when do you being counting the days of grief? Since the last time you heard the words 'I love you'? Or the day you walked out the door? So again, I tie my laces and head out for the trial…

Acceptance

As you ascend from your depression, you'll likely realize that the reality is you have suffered a breakup and it signifies the end of your relationship. While acceptance doesn't necessarily mean getting over the breakup, never feeling sad or always being happy, it shows that you understand the situation and feel ready to move on with your life. Acceptance allows you to seize control and find peace and calm following the breakup.

Stage 5… Acceptance. Hummmmm… Really? I want to scream “That’s bullshit!” And, as I recently acknowledged, as long as I hang onto “him” I cannot grasp my “new and improved” future. Well, lucky me. Sarcasm. My friends are tired of picking me up by my shirt collar, drying my tears and telling me “It’ll be okay, I promise.” Frankly, I’m getting a little tired of my tears, too.

I have to, have to, have to, HAVE TO LET GO.

But I don’t want to let go of the midnight whispers, the morning snuggles, the silly nonsense conversations, the way he made me laugh, the adventures, the games, the family, the dreams, the future. I thought we were pretty darn good for each other…

What I want is to let go of all the things that separated us… The obscure “Thing” that came between us. Whoever “It” is and wherever “It” came from can go crawl back under the rock where it came from. I hate “It”. I want “It” to give me my Life and Love back… Damn thief.

Oh yeah I’m working on “Acceptance” of my situation. Okay.

I’m still working on that.

Have you heard that cute Country song "Mama's Broken Heart" that goes:

"Go and fix your make up, girl - it's just a break up. Run and hide your crazy and start actin like a lady 'cause I raised you better! Gotta keep it together, even when you fall apart. But this ain't my Mama's broken heart! Powder your nose, paint your toes, line your lips & keep em close. Cross your legs, dot your i's and never let 'em see you cry."

Hide your crazy...

So really, how many days does it take to heal a broken heart? I need to know…

It's been 158 days and I have no answers. I guess I’ll just tie my laces and pound it out on the pavement. Again.

I'm going to need new shoes soon....

My Crazy's Showing,

-Cheryl

[Advise column taken from http://www.livestrong.com/article/125548-stages-grief-after-breakup/#ixzz2QsJn56wP]

Ripple Effect

2013-04-14T23:30:00.000-07:00

The river rock was hard against her bare feet, as she navigated down to the river’s edge. The water had receded and the river was flowing quietly now, in the wake of the flooding over the past months. The sun was shining again and warmed her cheek as she found a boulder to lean against, she settled herself down with a sigh. Her eyes were drawn to the sun speckles brilliantly glistening and dancing upon the water… mesmerized by her surroundings, she unconsciously picked up a rock and began rubbing the smooth side as if it were a talisman. All the chaos that had driven her to the shoreline was finally melting away.

After some time she looked down at the rock, snapping back to reality it finally registered that she had been holding it for quite awhile. The avalanche of life flooded her mind and with the pent up fury of a jostled hornets’ nest she hurled it into the water. The water splashed in all directions, disrupting the sun dapples, ruining the peacefulness. The force of the throw caused the water to ripple in an ever widening circle, as the stone tumbled to the rocky bottom of the riverbed coming to rest against a lodged tree limb.

Things had changed...

WHY some people do the things they do I will never understand but I do know that there is no way to stop a ripple effect once started. Self absorbed choices bring careless words and thoughtless actions. One choice can effect so many others, in ways that are unimaginable and unforeseeable. It’s like the 6^th Degree of Separation only in the negative context. My Dad used to tell us, “Don’t throw the rocks into the river! They protect the shoreline.” The proverbial stone that was laying on the beach [to protect it] is now laying at the bottom of river. The river didn't have a choice in the matter and now it's waters must flow over and around this stone, disrupting its previous path.

Our words and actions should be used to protect others, not just those we love and care about.

However, especially those that we love and care about. Yet, most words spill out of mouths carelessly and thoughtlessly. Choices are made to appease instant self-gratification rather than being in line with ones true values and morals.

So what do you do when you've been splashed by the rock tossed and are receiving the chaotic ripple effects of someone else’s choices?

Usually, I'd like to pick up a bigger rock and huck it back!

But what good does that bring? How does that fix anything?

The best course of action is to respond, not react. Quite yourself enough to remember what your personal core values are and decided how this “splash” measures against those values. (Your core values are your personal “truths”). When your response is based on your personal values then you are able to speak your truth from your heart, and have the strength to stand behind what you have just said. You don’t have to like what the other person has done, you don’t have to agree with their choices, and those choices can hurt you something fierce… BUT, when you choose to respond from your inner truth, you maintain control over yourself and how you will allow the situation to affect you.

I don’t like it when choices are made by others that have a direct negative consequence on me.

It hurts, it sucks and it’s not fair. I have the right to express what I want to see happen in the situation to bring resolution, and if it doesn't happen then I can make a choice to remove myself. By separating myself from this person/situation, I am giving myself ample room to remain in control of myself and gain a better perspective. The closer you are to the epicenter, the stronger the “splash” and repercussion are that you will receive. Likewise, the farther you are away from the epicenter, the less it can impact you – even if it was aimed at you.

Gaining clarity of a situation is just good ju-ju. It’s all about asking yourself the right questions and answering yourself honesty. Why am I upset about what happened? Do I want to respond? And, if I choose to respond, what do I hope the outcome or resolution to be? Do I want to continue to have relationship with this person or be involved in this situation?

Bottom Line: Either you accept a person or situation as they are, or you don’t. And, if you don’t – then don’t have relationship with them or remain involved.

It is very simple.

It is okay to let go and walk away. Sometimes, it’s the healthiest choice that can be made. And, you’re able to leave the “splashing back” to the summer afternoon water balloon fights, the sprinkler dash or a rowdy match of floating-the-river water pistol shootouts. (Which is way more enjoyable!)

I have laid some pretty strong boundaries of who and what I will allow close to me. These choices were well thought out and laid down as I gained a clearer picture of the vision for my life, and the things I value in my life. I protect these “life values” because I know they bring me peace – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

The waters of life will continue to flow upon us, around us, and over us… It’s how we choose to deal with it that will bring either love, encouragement and a helping hand to ourselves and others or allows the damaging ripples of chaos and hurt to continue wrecking havoc in our lives.

It is wise to remember to create gentle ripples of love, peace and acceptance by treading lightly, speaking gently, and say what you mean and mean what you say with love.

So, the next time I feel like hurling a rock back at the waters of my life, I’m going to build a cairn in remembrance of this. I'm going to choose to protect the shoreline of my life, maintaining my personal integrity.

Besides, with the sun that shines on my parade, I dry off quickly anyway. And, I bet you do too.

Keeping It Real,
-Cheryl

Drop It Like It's HOT!

2013-03-20T22:18:00.000-07:00

It was one of those nights, hanging out with good friends, where the tequila was flowing and the conversation took a turn along the lines of “Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better”. And, as all strongly inebriated adults will tell you, they KNOW how to dance. (Yes, I used the word “adults” because it just seems that all “kids” already KNOW how to dance…)

And thus, it was decided that TONIGHT was going to be an evening of learning how to “Drop It Like It’s HOT!” But, having someone describe it to you just doesn't work for me. Being very visual, I wanted someone to demonstrate it. So, we found this video to watch and learn from:

(Here's the link if the video doesn't show: http://youtu.be/05SR91E0pC4)

Yes, we were rolling on the floor laughing! But then, we got some serious down and dirty action going on... practicing the attitude, moves and ultimately the “Stank Face”. I am sure there are pictures somewhere and a video that I hope never surfaces, so for now, the visual in your mind (thankfully!) is all that you are going to see. It was a comical event that will forever make me laugh and I am aware that that my sweet “Droppin’ It like it’s HOT” dance skills are not any better today than they were before I learned how to do the moves! (This girlfriend may have some sweet moves, but "Droppin' It" ain't one of them!)

Needless to say, I became curious about what it means to "Drop It Like It's Hot". Urban Dictionary defines it as:

“A word originated by Lil' Wayne from the Cash Money Millionaires. He said it first on the song "Back that ass up" with Juvenile. It has 2 meanings to it. The first meaning to it means to get down and dirty on the dance floor, referring to a girl. The other meaning is to rob someone of their belongings.”

"After you back it up don't stop, dr-dr-drop, drop it like its hot" -juvenile ft. Manny Fresh and Lil' Wayne "Back That Ass Up"

"Nigga this a jackmove foo, drop it like it's hot, gimme all yo fucken money nigga"

The opportunity to make a complete fool of myself – which I enjoyed thoroughly – as I learned how to get "down and dirty on the dance floor" brought a sense of satisfaction. A strange and humorous connection with friends who enjoyed laughing AT me as well as WITH me.

Its always a good night when you can walk away having laughed AT yourself.

The other meaning, “to rob someone of their belongings” would, I guess, refer to the person being robbed “dropping” whatever is being taken as if the item was “hot” and going to “burn” or “hurt” them if they continued to hang onto it. What an interesting choice of words mixed together. I don’t believe these words just apply just to someone taking something physically, but also to someone trying to take something that affects someone mentally, emotionally or spiritually.

My life quote, by Barbara De Angelis, states:

“Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.”

Basically, to me, these words are a reminder and a guide for living a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual healthy and balanced life.

When someone has taken something from me – let’s use “trust” for an example - and I have tried to hang onto that “ broken trust” or “distrust”, I continue to be hurt by the situation I am holding onto. However, learning to “Drop It Like It’s Hot” would be the act of letting go. By letting go of my grip on the situation, I separated myself from it, thus it does not have the power to “burn” me or “hurt” me any longer.

By making this choice, I regain balance and control over myself and the situation.

I am able to remind myself of what I know I deserve in relationships. (I deserve honest and truthful relationships.)

What I want and need from others. (I want you to say what you mean and mean what you say.)

And, speak my truth even if it creates conflict or tension. (I do not agree with the choices you have made and am separating myself from you and the situation.)

And thus, I am behaving in a way that is in harmony with my personal values. (I choose to live a life of integrity, speaking truthfully and honestly, helping others and believe in the divine good within every person.)

For me, I would one day like to be the kind of person who lays things down before they would have the opportunity to become “hot” and “burn” my hand, head or heart. The art of laying a lei on the water and watching it float way… letting go.

Aaaah! The peace that comes with letting go like this!

But the reality is, I’m still nursing some burns on my hands, in my head and across my heart. So until then, I know what the best healing salve is – using the Stank Face, a healthy shot of tequila now and again, and a good laugh at myself!

Cheers to Droppin' It Like It's HOT!

-Cheryl

Don't Be A Hater

2013-02-04T22:01:00.002-08:00

What do you see when you look at me? Do you see the echo of the trials and burdens etched upon my face or do you see the fire that burns from within?

I am not an advocate for preserving youthful looks by surgery or botox because I believe that we are each Divinely created to be exactly who we are, wrinkles and all. But what contributes to aging?

“Does Stress Cause Wrinkles and Gray Hair” in Psychology Today states, “The fact is, the results from research are themselves pretty gray. Some studies suggest that stress has direct negative effects on our physical and emotional health, but its exact relationship is complex and not yet fully understood.

Here is what we know. Acute anxiety is our natural response to a real or perceived threat, what we call the fight/flight reaction. It involves a two-way communication between our brain and body, resulting in activation of our cardiovascular, immune, and other biological systems. It's our survival instinct at work. But, when anxiety is prolonged—that is, when our flight/flight reaction goes on alert and remains there—our physiological systems elevate for longer periods of time and ultimately become maladaptive. The result? It wears our bodies down.”

Born the youngest of five children, who were all 10 to 16 years old than me, I had a wonderfully secure childhood growing up playing in the woods, riding my horse and enjoying the benefits of a large family. I was the apple of my Daddy’s eye and grew up ready to live the Golden Dream.

However, the reality of the real world and its burning disappointments were soon knocking at my door. The Twenties brought marriage and divorce and re-marriage. Dealing with loved ones alcoholism and drug abuse brought various degrees of physical and verbal abuse. And disappointment. My parents did not have addictive personalities, lie to each other, nor did they fight. I was ill equipped to deal with situations that I found myself in, and most times I made the situations worse.

During my Thirties, I watched my sister fight for her life after using a dirty needle. She died twice and was revived. She emerged from Harborview Hospital in Seattle after six months a double amputee and missing all of her fingers. I watched her learn to walk again. I watched her learn to adapt to dressing herself using only her thumbs.

As my Father’s health deteriorated, I gladly became his bedside companion, spending the nights with him in the hospital and sleeping in his room when at home to help him with his middle-of-the-night medications. I sat by his bedside administering the morphine until he passed.

The Forties will forever be the Years of Fortitude. How does that saying go? You are not going to change anything until you get to the point that you no longer can live the way you are living. The Forties brought me to a complete emotional breaking point… I didn't want to live the way I was living, but saw no way out... just a Dead End sign hanging on the front door. I hated living in The House of Lies. Blech! (Can I just leave it at that? I have no desire to blast the Ex or the struggles that we both participated in.)

Then my grandson was born at 24 weeks gestation. This miracle baby who weighed 1lb 11oz and was 12 ¾ inches long would have such a huge impact on so many people… friends and family across America were praying for his life. Many hours were spent beside his incubator whispering my encouraging, “You can FLY, Jayden! Gramma believes in you. You are strong! You are going to change the world!” 120 days later, overcoming all odds, Jenny brought him home.

I participated in a cult-like church.

My sister died.

I was told that I had leukemia.

Separation and divorce followed.

Jen’s next pregnancy landed her in the hospital for six weeks.

A family member drove a wedge between all of us with a huge act of betrayal.

I fell in love. Maybe truly for the first time.

I moved away.

I stood up for what I want in life.

I moved back.

The ebb and flow of life… cascading me over these boulders of challenges, slamming me into bank of personal trials has finally washed me ashore upon the sandy beach of Acceptance.

The days when I look in the mirror and can see only the wrinkles etched upon my face are the days when the past is trying to rear her ugly head and defeat me. But, I know better than to give into that. Every line brought on by stress and sorrow, now also holds the remembrance of the joy – the silver lining – that followed:

· I may have been divorced, but I gave birth to an extraordinary child.

· The joy of my sister Lynn living with me.

· Knowing that my Dad was proud of me.

· Finding freedom from my co-dependent actions, beliefs and habits.

· Gaining the most amazing relationship with my grandson.

· Truly making a difference in the community.

· Being healthy physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

· Embracing my personal integrity.

· Being blessed with a little fire-cracker of a granddaughter.

· Experiencing the true feelings of forgiveness.

· Finding a best friend in the one my heart loved.

· Spreading my wings to the possibilities that life offers.

· I am not disappointed.

Worn down by the stress of my life, the sum of me is etched upon my face. My personal growth chart. The lines represent the forging of my character, the foundation of my future life choices, and the firm belief in Faith. Faith in a benevolent Universe, designed by the One Greater Than Me, who told Job, “You were never meant to understand.”

While I may not “understand” why I have faced such adversity and loss, I bow in Acceptance and Appreciation of the beauty that has emerged from each. The lines upon my face are beautiful reminders of my journey through this life. My triumphs, lessons learned and the joy that I experienced along the way.

Don't hate growing older and don't be ashamed of the wrinkles. This glorious process is what we were designed to do! We all appreciate the youthful face, but look at the deep beauty of a face etched with time… what a story each face has to tell!

If you are ready to listen, that is… And if you are, what a delightful blessing you will receive!

Finding Beauty,

-Cheryl

What I Learned to Remember

2013-01-03T11:17:00.004-08:00

“What I heard you say was, ‘I learned to enjoy to play again.’”

I think one day I woke up and realized how much of myself I had lost. Lost in the chaos of the life I was living, surrounded by devastating circumstances that were beyond my control*. It was enough to tip the canoe over and I felt like I was drowning. Clawing my way to the edge of the cesspool, thankfully I finally found some solid ground of clarity while in counseling several years ago. (*Another story) Thus began the “Grand Adventure” of learning to love again and learning to enjoy all the beauty that Mother Earth offers us.

Finding a playmate was delightful. Trying new things was exhilarating. Moving away was scary… I mean, thrilling. Meeting new people offered challenging rewards of forming some pretty fantastic friendships. Honoring the changes in a relationship and letting go was soul wrenching. I have been forever changed.

The drumming of the rain on the window could be gently heard in the ebb and flow of quiet conversation as I sat with several ladies. “What did you learn while you were gone?” I was asked.

Snapshot pictures flashed through my mind as I took a moment to answer…

Seeing the golden frogs as we hiked 16 miles down and back up the Grand Canyon...

Snowshoeing up Sunlight Mountain in the middle of the night under a full moon...

Dinner parties under the twinkling lights on the patio...

Weekend morning bicycle rides to Carbondale for breakfast at the Smithy’s Restaurant...

Cruising down the Extraterrestrial Highway wondering if we were going to be abducted...

Learning how to drive a forklift...

Capturing scorpions with a black-light and tweezers...

Dancing barefoot in the conga line at the park...

Sitting in the hot springs while it was snowing...

Going down to the basement at work (which used to be a mortuary) and scaring my boss with ghost sounds...

Bubbles of joy surfaced as I remembered each of these moments. My heart knew the answer. I had learned to play again. Maybe that is what this part of the adventure was meant to bring me?

A lovely lady leaned over and said, “What I heard you say was, you learned to ENJOY to play again.”

Yes! She was so correct.

I had remembered how to embrace the joy and beauty of each moment with a child-like exuberance. I remembered to be open to whatever unfolded. I remembered that it was not about the destination, it was the journey. It was about those moments of laughter, those quite moments of touching, those challenging moments of trying something new, those moments… each of them, all of them… so life giving and so life changing.

We can all go “play” – be it a card game, a practical joke, shooting some hoops, a game of pool or a bike ride. But how present are we in THAT moment? It’s easy to be distracted by so many things outside of THAT moment. I think it is a definite mind shift, a choice of being fully present with what is going on around you – at all times of work, play and relaxation – that allows the joy of the moment to arise.

It’s time to remember what we knew when we were kids...

The glee of the moment.

The beauty within every moment.

The joy of play.

Wishing you a glee-filled year of enchanted play...

Loving the Mountain Man

2012-03-07T16:36:00.000-08:00

While waiting at the Aspen Airport this morning to pick up my bestie, I stumbled across this article in the Aspen Daily News written by Beth Brandon called "How the Mountain Man Was Won". At one time Beth was new to the valley, and like me, her heart too was captivated by a Mountain Man. I just have to share it with you... Because, loving a Mountain Man is quite an adventure! Read on, and I am sure you will begin to understand!

How the Mountain Man Was Won

by Beth Brandon, Roaring Sports Columnist

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Mountain men are a different breed. When I first moved here, the mountain man was appealing, but intimidating. I hadn’t camped much or skied or done any of the things that I believed to be the yin to his yang. I thought that his female counterpart was supposed to wear Carhartt and be generally quite burly.

However, if a gal stays here for any length of time, mountain woman tendencies can creep in subconsciously. And suddenly the things you enjoy doing might have you cross paths with the mountain man.

Men and women are such different creatures. The sooner one understands and embraces this fact the better. The fact that we’re supposed to pair up is a humorous challenge at best.

I once dated a guy whose favorite color was “the blue inside a glacier,” which made me think that due to my tendency for stylish fashion, he might be a bit too mountain man for my taste. I also dated a naturalist who schooled me on various flora and fauna and showed me which of the flora I could eat in case I ever needed to make a backcountry salad. Who knew?! There are all types of mountain men in these parts.

I remember, at times, in past mountain-man relationships and even the one I’m currently in, I felt completely foreign and cast aside for heli-skiing or a boys’ bike ride. And in truth, I was. But what is important to remember for the ladies is that you won’t always want to hang out with him either.

It’s the same as wanting to go drink wine with the girls or do a bike ride sans testosterone. You must remember that as long as the mountain man gets time for such activities, he’ll be good to you. But without them, he won’t feel quite himself.

Some friends and I were talking the other night about unrealistic expectations in relationships. More importantly we talked about how if you take away the idea that a man should fulfill everything then things would be so much easier. If I want to gab for hours, I’m not calling a guy.

Keeping men happy involves sleep, food, sex and sport. Keeping a mountain man — and other frisky breeds — happy requires the same factors, but also that he be a direct participant in the sport, no couch surfing allowed.

Mountain men can sleep on the ground, eat food out of a can, pee in the bushes, poop in a can and never actually speak for days and that would be perfectly acceptable behavior. So why should we expect them to know the right thing to say to us if we cry? Of course, he’ll hand you duct tape and other fix-it tools when you do, but that usually isn’t what women want.

Even the mountain man can’t do everything. That’s why there are two sexes. We’re kind of designed to compliment one another.

Mountain men need a hamster wheel. It’s like having a really active puppy. One hike is good for the morning, but the day? No. You’re going to have to do better than that.

The key to successfully dating a mountain man is that the woman must be actively inclined, or at least game to try. If it’s not your thing, that’s okay too, but men often bond by doing, so if you at least play fetch for an hour it will likely score you points in the future. Designate some family fun time and involve another couple too. Nothing will take the edge off a mountain man like having two or more women present.

I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want you to be his everything. If you’re bagging 14ers with him, you’re close, but he still wants time with his boys.

My fiancé is great, but I have learned through my own unmet expectations to prepare for a “Teeennnn HUT!” upon waking on a powder day, a sunny day, or his day off. At this point in our relationship I just ask for the expected departure time and then do what’s necessary to make it happen if I’m joining in the activity.

Expectation management plays a big part in pairing the sexes. It might be more realistic to think that your guy will be supportive and hug you when you cry. However, if you’re expecting him to have a lengthy heart to heart that gets rehashed from several different perspectives, blow your nose for you and then make you soup, then you might want to call your mom or your best girlfriend, because most men, including the men of the mountain, are not hard wired for that.

The mountain man is a quite doable, so long as you both keep your expectations in check. I can hang with mine to a point, but I always let him know that one bowl lap makes me just as happy as his four. At times, its exhausting, but its cheaper than a gym membership, it bonds the two of you together and is way more fun, except for the times that you bicker like the Costanzas. I guess you need to be a little bit of a mountain woman to hang with a mountain man.

Beth is looking forward to a lifetime of outdoor activity with her burly mountain dude. She can be reached at bethabrandon@hotmail.com

There's nothing like loving a Mountain Man. Actually, there's nothing quite like being loved by a Mountain Man! In this valley where love and adventure mixed together become the catalyst for an extraordinary life, I hang my proverbial hat (or, more realistically, snowshoes, backpack, and bike). What's not to love about this kind of daily life challenge? So, salute to the Mountain Men! You are definitely a magnificent breed. And I tip my wine glass to the ladies who love them... and pour myself another.

Wink,
-Cheryl

The Things I Missed

2012-01-30T11:42:00.001-08:00

It has been a long 30 days of struggling to overcome the pneumonia, lingering cough and chest congestion. It has been a long 30 days of just enough energy to cook dinner and clean the kitchen. It's been a long 30 days of laying on that side of the couch, or after a few moments of deliberating switching to this side of the couch. It's been a long 30 days of restlessness, boredom from being stuck indoors and staring out these windows. It's just been a LONG 30 DAYS... of feeling better, feeling worse, feeling so-so and not so swell... A long 30 days of multiple Dr. appointments and different medications, trying to work, and many set-backs!!! Again, it has been a LONG 30 days...

But today (and mind you, it isn't even Tuesday), the boys and I ventured out! The sunshine beckoned me to come out and so she could kiss her warmth against my cheek . The trees lining the street were gently waving their upraised branches in gestures of encouragement, "Come and visit with us!" When I cracked the front door open, the gentle breeze whispered my name, "You. Come out, please. I want to tickle you and see you smile!" Who was I to deny such temptation, regardless of how I was still feeling?!?

With the temperature a little above 40 degrees and snow on the ground, this girl put her boots on. I grabbed the leash, keys, wallet, the movie to return and my camera. Donned my hat and gloves and walked out the door...

“When you see someone putting on her Big Boots, you can be pretty sure that an Adventure is going to happen.”

― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

I don't know if it's just me, or if this happens to everyone, but sometimes it seems like when I get sidetracked or derailed during my daily life, I forget all about the little things that bring me joy. Those little things that refresh the soul. Close your eyes for a minute... What the little things are that refresh your soul? Today, after being locked up inside for so long, I was reminded of all those little things that I love... those things that make me smile and rejuvenate my psyche.

I love being outside. I love the fresh air. The coolness of the slight breeze that makes my cheeks turn pink, and the warmth of the sun beating through the thickness of my coat. I love the feeling of my heart beating faster, the adrenalin beginning to flow. I love the sounds that echo throughout the valley... birds chirping a winter melody; the squirrels chatter of annoyance for disturbing their current mission; the catchy tune drifting across the alley from someone's favorite station; the sound of the compression brakes from the 18-wheeler gearing down as they are coming into town on the interstate; and the sounds of laughter and animated conversation from the porches of surrounding neighbors.

I love the Rio-Grande Trail. I love the shadows that play across the trail in different ways. I love all the different people who journey up and down the trail... walking, running, biking, or skateboarding... and all the laughing, crying, hugging, holding hands, talking, and silence that follows each person's trek.

I love seeing the unique colors that decorate the buildings Glenwood Springs. Unusual architecture spanning over a hundred years collides in a strange symphony of visually stunning designs mixing the old with the new and the new with the old.

I love the trees along the river. I love the way their branches reach up, out and over. I love the way it looks to peer through the branches and see the sun glistening off the water and ice in the river below. I love the way it creates the stark contrasts between shadows and the brightness of the sunshine.

I love the railroad. Along this section of the trail, the old rails and ties lay spent from years of use. This 40 mile stretch of the Denver & Rio Grande's Aspen Branch of the railroad was opened in 1887, allowing train travel from Glenwood Springs to Aspen. I love that the Rio Grande Bike trail was constructed in honor of this now defunct railway line. I love that along the trail, you can still spot some of the old railroad signs and the way the wild grasses and flowers now decorate the railway, embracing it with their beauty.

I love my bike. A lot. I love that most people in this little town have a bike. I love seeing families riding bikes together. I love seeing couples riding bikes together - old, young and in between. I love that so many people ride their bikes to work. I love sheer joy you see on the faces of those that are out riding their bikes. I love that Spring is just around the corner and soon I will be pedaling my bike again down this path daily.

I love the crisp beauty of these daisies still standing proudly along the river bank. Basking in the afternoon sunshine, the essence of their strength, fortitude and grace is displayed to those who happen to notice as they pass. I love their silent dignity.

I love the wall flower. Or, in this instance, the fence flower. The one who does not seek out attention, but the one who is quietly at peace where they currently are. This little flower, nestled against the fence post and wire seemed so content... I would swear she smiled ever so demurely as I snapped her picture, nodding her acknowledgement of my presence.

I love the valley. I love that within the one glance your gaze can take in the beautiful flower, the powerful river flowing majestically below, and the magnificent peaks of the surrounding hills. I love the depths and contrasts. I love the beauty that unfolds within the valley.

I love the river. Oh, how I love the rushing, pounding, surging waters that flow... I love the sound she makes, much like the gentle heartbeat one hears when nestled against your Mother's breast. I believe the sound of water is the Earth's pulse...

“ Oh! How I love to be surprised!”

I came around the bend in the trail, and what to my wondering eyes should appear but the most extraordinary creature... An Ice Monster under the bridge!

I snuck in close to see if he was asleep or awake, and was momentarily lost. I was mesmerized by his beautifully sculptured body, enraptured by his ethereal coloring, and in awe of his sheer size. He was both awake and asleep... Meditating, I believe. Meditating on the path he will follow in a few short months, or possibly even weeks, along the banks of the Colorado River. Meditating on those he will splash; the life he will bring to those that are thirsty; and the thrill of being united, being one again, with the rushing Water.

I love being delighted. I love finding unusual things. I love the magic of it all. I love stories and the excitement they create. I love this Ice Monster, magically sculptured under the bridge by the thawing waters from the street above.

I love the old, rugged lamp posts that are along the sidewalks of town. I love that the birds nest has not been destroyed by the winter storms, and is patiently waiting for the birds to return soon. I love that, in my odd-off-beat way, knowing that this lamp will serve as the porch light for this little bird home...

I love the whimsical and playful. I love that these giant daisies grace the northern edge of town. Seeing this giant daisy field makes me smile... And if given half the chance, I want to kick off my shoes, dawn a sparkling tiara and a tu-tu and twirl my way through this real-life make-believe land of giant flowers!

I love the signage found throughout town: From the old street signs to the vintage store fronts. There is such an eclectic mix of old and new that I find myself quite charmed by the way the past continues to have such an impact on the present. I love the way "Riviera Supper Club" is boldly displayed in retro red neon high above their building, reminiscent of the 1950's era. And the way that Doc Holiday's Saloon sign is actually a six-shooter pistol! (Click Here to see the picture.) I love the way the past is not forgotten.

I love that the way home is just a short walk away from downtown. I love being so close to downtown and the unique proximity I am to both where I work and where I love to play. I love that my friends live so close, just a few blocks away. I love that the river, the mountain trials and paved bike trails, and the Hot Springs and just outside of my front door. I love that it is as if every street, every sidewalk, every path echos, "Come and see what Adventure lies ahead today!"

I love the circle of life. I love how nature provides for itself... The seeds of this sunflower, found along the fence of a neighbor's home, is surely a delightful treat for the birds. I love that these people did not pull down the sunflowers to harvest the seeds, but allowed them to stand tall through the winter months, feeding the little mouths in need.

I love the winter landscape. I love the way there were previous footprints in the snow, and how the recent snowfall covered them partially in. I wonder who ran across this field, who played in the snow... Was it a child, a dog or perhaps both? I love the way it makes me feel. Reminiscent of the days of childhood snowball fights, hot cocoa and frozen fingers warmed under cool running water.

I love the vibrancy of the brisk winter sky. I love the withering berries, holding on tightly to their precarious perches. I love the way the Moon is gently gazing down upon me as I am gazing back upwards at it. I love the vivid colors that surround me.

It was good to walk, breathe and be outside today. It was good to take the time to nurture my soul in the way it needed to be. It was refreshing and exhilarating... It was beautiful.

Soulfully Delighted,

-Cheryl

Changing It Up!

2011-12-12T08:46:00.000-08:00

Reflecting over the past year, there has been so much change in my life. Falling in love... Moving from Seattle to Phoenix, to Glenwood Springs... Leaving my daughter, grandkids, Mom and siblings... Starting up the online store... Adapting to a new climate and elevation... Getting a job... Making new friends... Oh! How I have been stretched!

I have had my heart stretched until the scars on old wounds have fallen off and the heart underneath has become flexible again. I have had my boundaries stretched until I laid down those weapons of Distrust, Fear and Judgement and was able to fresh gain perspective from a beautiful new vantage point. My desire to "hold on" and "hold close" has stretched my arms and hands wide open...

Life in a small town, especially where tourism is the main industry, brings a myriad of people into your life - but some of them only for a short time. The gift of their friendship and laughter is something to be treasured, even if I never get to see them again. People just seem a bit more precious these days... extraordinary, unique and beautiful! Maybe it is just because I left my "home" that I become so easily attached to the ones that wander into my life now...?

Last Spring, we met Adam and spent an incredible summer of crazy fun dice games (and NO! I don't cheat!), driveway dance parties and enjoying the local fairs and music festivals. He is generous and kind with a wicked sense of humor. The first night I met him, he told me "You and me, we are going to be friends." And what a dear friend he has become! When he moved back to Indiana for a job in August, my heart was so sad.

Paul, a good friend of Peter's, and his son, Phil, moved into the mother-in-law apartment downstairs in our home this summer. There was such good energy having them here! The driveway was always busy with trucks coming and going, a steady stream of busyness and "man stuff" going on... dump trucks, tractors, broken cars being torn apart, and... Even a totally fun night of Phil playing the didgeridoo while I played the flute. They left two weeks ago now for Florida. The house seems so very quiet. I miss them and their little pug, Frank. My heart is sad.

A handful of the people I worked with for the past six months at Glenwood Hot Springs have left for work on the mountains... I miss them too.

I decided I really hate change. I know I should embrace change and the doors of opportunity that they open up... but I don't.

Change makes my heart sad. When I find new friends, I kind of want to keep them around...

Then, I watched this video last night by Sean Stephenson...

And I decided that I'm going to change it up! I'm going to have my very own little dance party every time my heart become sad! Because I agree, "Life is meant to be silly, not so serious!" Thanks, Sean, for this wonderfully uplifting video!

Change. I'm changing my thoughts on change and I'm going to get my groove on - dancing to the beat of a different drum! That's the drum of thankfulness - thankfulness for the people whom I have had the pleasure to become friends with - if even for just a little while. Because, you know what? They are worth celebrating! You are worth celebrating!

Salsa'n the Blues Away,
-Cheryl

Phat Fish

2011-11-30T09:05:00.001-08:00

I have noticed a subtle change in my thinking over the past year... A new appreciation of how precious Life is - but not just human life, but a deep appreciation for every creature, every plant, every tree, even the water that flows through the rivers and the stars that are scattered across the night sky. The list is endless. One cannot exist without the others. Perfectly created, our world is.

Having placed a greater emphasis on my physical health over the past 18 months, I am beginning to appreciate more and more how magnificent the human body is. Closing my eyes and being enveloped by the sensations that surround me - the warmth of the sunshine streaming through the window and the way it warms my cheek; the crackle of the fire burning in the fireplace; the lingering smell of freshly brewed coffee. How I love to embrace these gentle moments of awareness! When I stretch out my legs, I can feel the strength flowing - from fueling my body with the nutrients it needs and giving my body the exercise it desires. How beautiful the human body is!

Earlier in the year, we adopted 30 gold fish to live and play in our three ponds. With the weather beginning to change and continuing cold temperatures at night, I watched our ponds freeze over. Back in Seattle, I knew that goldfish could survive the winters in semi-shallow ponds... but not here in Colorado. I watched the fish swimming slowly back and forth under the ice, their food supply diminishing. I was impressed with their desire and ability to survive under such extreme conditions. My heart stirred...

Having placed them in these ponds, my heart tugged that it was my responsibility to continue to care for them - when they could not care for themselves any longer. So, off to Walmart I went and purchased a $12.99 10 gallon tank, rocks and a fish net. I was not quite sure how many goldfish had survived the past 6 months, but I was ready to begin fishing for my fish.

Donning rubber gloves, I began to tackle the bottom patio pond. It had an ice covering of about 1 - 2 inches thick. The edges were able to be broken off, and I was then able to get the larger ice pieces up out of the water and, leveraging it on the edge of the pond, flip it onto the ground. It shattered into a thousand pieces, like broken glass.

Running the pump, the water spilled out and the pond began to drain. Capturing one, then two, then three fish... taking them inside and placing them in the tank. The rescue continued, slowly but surely, until every last one was captured.

The large heart shaped yard pond proved a bit more challenging... draining the pond took a lot longer, and the rescue couldn't begin until the water was down enough to walk in the pond itself. It was dusk before the fish were caught... They were bigger, stronger and faster... and had more places to hide! But, persistence paid off and all were safely rescued.

We began counting... 19, 20, 21, 22.... Wait, start again.... How many fish do we have now?

Whereas the life of a fish is greatly dismissed as "insignificant", there was a gentle satisfaction in reaching out and helping these little guys. Just like us, they too are amazing and magnificent creatures - beautifully created, swift, strong and vibrant. I believe they deserve to live, breath and be - just as much as you and I do. To me, that is the beauty of Life itself... the connectedness between every living being.

Phat (noun): great, wonderful, terrific

So I sit here this morning, a smile playing on my lips, as I watch my phat goldfish frolic in their bowl. I am thankful for their little lives and the pleasure they bring me, and I know they are thankful for their new home and the hand that feeds them. One day next spring, I will set them loose again to roam around in a larger pond... but for today, we shall enjoy each other's company - living together in peace, love and H2O harmony.

Lovin' my Phat Fish,

-Cheryl

Washing Dishes

2011-11-22T09:36:00.001-08:00

There are some things in life that I really.... really... really have a hard time being excited about doing. Most things are really no problem... but there are a few that I really struggle with. One of them is washing dishes. I don't think it's because I am lazy because I "enjoy" (cough, sputter) other household chores - dusting, vacuuming and mopping, even cleaning the bathrooms. So, what is it about doing the dishes that I find so difficult?

This morning, as I was MAKING MYSELF wash the pots and pans, I began thinking about my yoga practice and how I have an aversion to the difficult poses. However, as I have gradually learned over the past year, quieting my mind against the "chatter of self-defeating words" and relaxing into the pose, I have found myself able to become a pretzel for moments at a time in poses that I was previously not able to do.

Likewise, there have been hills I have hiked with steep elevation gains that were difficult for me to keep going on... And again, I found the "chatter of self-defeating words" filling my head! How frustrating is that?!? There have been bike rides where the headwinds were so strong that I felt like I wanted to stop my bike and quit riding - Just because the "words in my head" said it was too difficult.

"chatter of self-defeating words": This is too hard. I don't want to do this. I am uncomfortable. I don't like this. I just want to go home. I'm a Princess and I like soft and cuddly things.

When I find these awful words crowding my mind, I guess in that moment I have a choice: To entertain each one and let them invite their friends Quitter, Frustration and Agitation over too OR I can choose to begin focusing on my breathing - in and out - and breathing in Thankfulness for... a roof over my head; good food to eat and dishes to eat it off of; hot water to wash the dishes in; the breathtaking scenery that the Master Artist created for me to explore; a body that is healthy and strong; a heart that is willing to love; and the strength of will to be able to make these choices of Gratitude... and breathing out the discomfort, the struggle and the frustrations of the moment.

So, I guess, with this beautiful revelation awakening within my heart this morning... washing the dishes wasn't so bad after all.

Happy Suds,
-Cheryl

Little Steps

2011-09-19T14:18:00.000-07:00

It is an extraordinary experience to take a hike at a child's pace... I have covered many miles of the surrounding trails over the past six months, but never at the pace that I have during the past two days. There is something about being in the presence of a child that reawakens the wonderment of each moment encountered.

On Sunday, Grandson and I invited our Friend, Nava, to join us and we ventured up the Grizzly Creek trail. Today, Grandson and I hiked up the back of our property.

What made these marvelous moments so amazing? Let me count the ways...

We took time to...

Wave at the river.

Point and watch the airplanes that cross the sky.

Look at the snails on the side of the trail.

Throw rocks in the river.

Look at the pretty purple flowers.

Look at the pretty yellow flowers.

Smile for the camera.

Wave at Mount Sopris.

Yell.

Sing.

Jump over rocks.

Run.

Stop. Go! Stop.

Pretend to be a backpack.

Smile for the camera again!

Fall down and get hurt, but become easily distracted by a caterpillar. Then, hold the caterpillar.

Eat a picnic.
Then tell the picnic table "Bye Bye!"

Wave at the butterflies.

Take time for a hug.

Stand on a tree stump.

Pose for another picture.

Build a rock cairn.

Knock the rock cairn down.

Count mud puddles.
Look at the rocks in the river.

Try to catch a grasshopper.

Throw more rocks.

Wave to the clouds.

Climb on rocks.

Let Grandson take a picture.

Share a smile.

Watch ants cross the path.

Use our trail manners and stand on the side of the trail to let other hikers pass by. And then be thanked for being a gentleman!

Climb a hill.

Look at a beautiful waterfall.

Put our fingers and toes in the cold water.

Hold hands.

Yawn.

Point to the trees.

Look at the sky.

Enjoy just being together, doing whatever...

Get excited to go home and share all about what we saw on our Grand Adventures.

Life is always good when taken one little step at a time... I am thankful for the gentle reminder of how sweet THIS moment is and every other little moment that follows.

Takin' it Slow,

-Cheryl

Oh, Yes I Can!

2011-09-13T13:59:00.000-07:00

I have always loved the feel of the wind in my face - from riding with the windows down; racing down the lake in the boat; skiing down the snowy slope; standing outside on a windy day; running my horse; sleeping with the window open; to riding a bike. The caress of the wind against my cheek is almost always sure to bring a smile to my face!

Getting home from work one day in last July, I sat for the better part of three hours in the shade of a big oak tree watching Kevin Horch finish building my new bike. She began to take shape... from the gears, pedals, brakes to the new handle bars with black speckled tape. However, sadly, a few parts were missing... So, the maiden voyage was waylaid.

Riding a road bike is really different... I was certainly apprehensive about the whole being "clicked in" thing, where your feet are stuck to the bike pedals. It just doesn't seem right to be stuck to something... However, the day was quickly approaching when I would get to experience this. My darling boyfriend told me, "Don't worry. You will fall once, and then you will never fall again. You will remember to un-click before stopping." Hummmm.... sounded like fun. NOT!

It was kinda exciting shopping for my riding equipment at Sunlight Ski & Bike Shop. Let's see... there were the Pearl Izumi bike shoes. The bike shirt which has pockets in the back to put stuff in like chap stick, your phone, and other stuff. The "diapers" which are bike shorts with much appreciated padding to help cushion the girl parts. And, the Hoo-Ha lotion which helps... never mind. And lastly, the cute helmet with brown and pink paisley flowers on it. I was ready to ride!

A new bike is worth grinning from ear-to-ear!

Growing up, my parents never placed much importance on good sporting equipment... my first bike didn't even have a seat on it. And the 10-speed that I inherited in Junior High came with a rusted chain and brakes that barely worked. So the anticipation of getting this new bike was really quite a thrill for me!

My sweet red bike was finally ready in early August and off we headed out to ride the Glenwood Canyon Bike Trail. The trail heads out East along Interstate 70 and the Colorado River and offers the most beautiful scenery of the majestic river flowing below the steep canyon walls. We rode out to Grizzly Creek and back, which was a fantastic12 mile ride. On the way back to Glenwood Springs, we stopped at the Glenwood Canyon Resort which is about half-way back down the trail. Sitting at their outside bar, we enjoyed the sunshine, beautiful scenery of the Colorado River and a well deserved beer to celebrate!

Peter and Cheryl at Glenwood Canyon Resort

It was a little confusing for me to figure out the gears.. High gear, low gear, spinning, cadence? Huh? There is a big gear, a middle gear, and a little gear in the front. Then, in the back there are five different gears... And somehow, you push the smaller black lever with the right hand to make the back gears go from easier to harder. By pushing the silver big lever, it makes the gears go from harder to easier. (So, is that going up or down?!?) Then, with the left hand by pushing the small black lever it makes the front gears go from biggest to littlest or push the silver big lever and the gears go from littlest to biggest. So... the smaller the gears, the easier it is to "spin" or pedal and, as far as I can understand, this is considered a "high cadence". I simply have had to put this all into my own language... Big gears make you pedal harder but you go farther faster. Little gears make you pedal easier, but you sure don't go very fast - however, this is the gear you want to be in when trying to go up a hill. Capiche?

Braking. The back brake is on the right and the front brake is on the left. It is wise to remember to use only the back brake when going down hill... or you can flip the bike. The front brake is apparently just to make the left hand not feel left out because it is the right hand who really has all the control. Or, maybe it just seems that way to me because it seem all I ride down are hills?

How about pedaling? Since your feet are attached to the pedals, you not only gain momentum while pushing down, but also when you bring your foot back up. So instead of pedaling by just pushing your feet down, you do a continuous motion kind of like scraping gum off the bottom of your foot. I was amazed at what a difference it made in speed and distance!

Several rides later and no catastrophes with un-clipping my feet from the pedals lead to a little bit of false confidence. Ha! My darling boyfriend and I took a short five mile ride on the Glenwood Canyon Bike Trail to No-Name and back. Pulling up to the parking lot, I un-clipped only my left foot getting ready to stop at the car and turned my handle bars to the right... Really? What was I thinking! Ka-boom! I fell over to the right, my leg hitting the curb and the rest of my body bouncing on the grass. I couldn't get my foot off the right pedal quick enough to catch myself! Snap! Boy was I was sore, but thankfully not injured.

At this point, it was about a month until the Tri-Glenwood Triathlon that my friends Cindy Jo Robinson, Brian Wells and I had agreed to compete as a team together in. Cindy Jo would swim the 825 meter swim, Brian would run the five miles and I would bike the 15 miles. It was time to start some serious training... Except, at work on August 8th, I dislocated several ribs. Double snap!

Peyton, Dennis, Cheryl and Peter

It was about two weeks later that I was healed enough to get back on my bike. So, on a beautiful Saturday morning Peter, Peyton, Dennis and I headed out on the Rio-Grande Trail. It was an easy ride at a slow pace full of good conversation and laughter. The ride was a little painful getting on and off the bike and I found myself to be quite unsteady, however, it felt so good to be off the couch and outside on my bike again!

The next day, the darling boyfriend and I rode 10 miles up the Rio-Grande Trail again to the city of Carbondale. While he participated in the Yoga in the Park practice, I enjoyed a good conversation with my dear friend and then relaxed under the trees watching the clouds float by until he was finished. It was a well need break for my aching ribs. We biked over to Beer Works for delicious brats and a beer and then headed back down the trail towards home. It was my longest ride so far - 21 miles round trip.

I was still apprehensive about un-clipping and falling again, probably more so because of my rib injury, even though I was gaining overall confidence on the bike. I talked to the darling boyfriend's sister, Becky, and she so wisely advised me to "just un-clip both feet early when coming to a stop." So simple! This helped... Did you know that most advanced riders are able to maintain their balance for several seconds when stopped without un-clipping. I wonder if I will ever be able to do that?

Grandson's First Bike Ride!

Grandpa is Ready to Hit the Trail with
Grandson in tow!

Due to our travels out to the Pacific Northwest at the end of August and my rib injury, my training really didn't start until we got back. September 2nd through September 10th, I rode a total of 82 miles training, building my confidence and strength. Thanks to Dailymile.com, it's been easy to map where I have ridden and keep track of the miles.

The day before the triathlon, the darling boyfriend and I got up and were ready to go ride the course by 6:00am... "Why so stinkin' early?" you ask. Well, we had to ride the interstate with all the big trucks and crazy drivers so the earlier the better (less traffic). The 15 mile course leaves the Glenwood Hot Springs parking lot, heading west on Interstate 70 to Canyon Creek and then back. I thought I was going to collapse from exhaustion... It was the most brutal ride I have ever done! The darling boyfriend has a saying, "The miles between the ears are the longest." And that morning, there were thousands of miles between my ears. That ride took every ounce of strength, will and determination to continue to ride against the gusting head winds, cold temperatures and body aches I was experiencing. I wanted to cry. I felt like throwing down my bike, calling it "Stupid!" and stomping my feet! But I pushed through... The darling boyfriend's gentle encouragements kept my head above the waters of "I Quit". I felt like I had been hit by a fly swatter... twice.

Saturday night, preparing for the race, the darling boyfriend pulled my bike out to make some last minute adjustments and said, "Well, now I know why you had such a bad ride this morning. You have a flat tire!" I rode over 21 miles with a flat?!? YeeHaw! There WAS HOPE for my race in the morning!

Well rested, dressed, prepped, and ready to go I left the house about 6:45am Sunday morning and rode my bike down to check in. I put my bike up on the rack, visited with other races for a few minutes and when I turned around... there was a red feather laying by my back bike wheel! I knew then, my Dad was smiling down on me and it was going to be a good race! It was really exciting to see the 250 athletes getting ready. I met up with Cindy Jo and Brian by the pool and we offered each other those well needed words of encouragement. It was going to be a perfect race day... mid 70's and very calm winds. "The Go-Jo's" were ready to do this!

Cindy Jo's swim started at 8:12am. After 7 smooth laps, she emerged from the pool and ran to the transition area in the parking lot where I removed the chip from her leg and attached it to mine and then I took off towards the exit and began my 15 mile ride...

I was so thankful for the darling boyfriend's words of instruction and wisdom that kept playing through my mind. Those thousands of miles between my ears from the previous day were reduced to just the few inches that were supposed to be there during the race. I kept remembering his words: Don't pour it all out on the way out, so that you have strength for the ride back. Maintain my own steady pace. To breath through my nose when I felt winded. That peddling in a high cadence you can actually recover and maintain your endurance. In the strong head winds, pull you knees in and get your head down. Shift before you go into a climb.

The Finish Line

With the encouraging shouts from the volunteers along the path echoing in my ears, I arrived back into the transition area safely and began to laugh as I got off my bike and ran across the parking lot to where Brian and Cindy Jo were waiting for me because my legs felt like jello! I couldn't even stop when I got to them and we all were cracking up as I was saying "Stop me! Stop me!" We were quickly able to get through the transition and Brian was off and running for the last leg of the race.

We gathered my bag and bike from the transition area and headed to drop it off at the car so that we could get back to the finish line quickly. Brian is a swift runner and finished strong! The Go-Jo's completed our first triathlon in 1 hour and 56 minutes! We placed 11th out of 25 teams, and took 6th place out of 11 co-ed teams. (Actually, we were 6 seconds from making it in the top 10 teams...Not bad!)

The Results

I had cut 10 minutes off my time from the day before! What a great feeling! We celebrated our grand achievement at our friend, Nava's home that evening and toasted to our first triathlon! It was an exhilarating adventure and one I look forward to doing again in the future!

However, until that opportunity comes again, I am content to feel the caress of the wind against my cheek as I coast down the trail on my bike and the sheer joy it brings me... So, with thankful heart for the darling boyfriend and all of his help in preparing me for this adventure, I look forward to pedaling into the future and the next Grand Adventure...

Loving Life on the Trail Together, the Darling Boyfriend and Me

Happy Trails,
-Cheryl

Why Ask Why - Part II

2011-08-31T17:26:00.002-07:00

You know what I find quite interesting? Human beings and their reactions, thoughts and choices. If you read my last blog "Why Ask Why?" then I am sure you were questioning my thought processes and wondered "What in the heck is she talkin' about!" But the beauty of what I wrote was just that... We all have thoughts that we probably never share with other people, let alone question why we are thinking them. I just happened to share them with you...

For me, and again these are my personal beliefs, my reaction to what I was reading about open marriages and/or relationships was so strongly opposed to it that I began to wonder WHAT really is the foundation for my choices and belief system? I asked myself "why".

I received several responses to my blog that were dripping with judgment, false accusations and an ugliness that disgusts and sickens me. While I have no regrets for my thoughts or what I wrote in my previous post, I do have to say that I did not intend it to be sacrilegious in any way. For those of you who are questioning my faith, I believe in God and in His mighty power. (Just look at my grandson!) However, not everyone believes how I do. I have chosen not to use this blog to pontificate my beliefs nor to dispute your thoughts about me. If you don't like what I have to say, then its really quite simple...don't read this blog.

So with that preface, I will continue to share more of my thoughts about human choices... Why do we choose the things we do?

Like, when you go into a bathroom with two rows of stalls. Which stall do you choose? The first one? The last one? The middle one on the left? Do you make a conscious choice or not? And, why do you pick that one? Or, pulling into a parking lot at the grocery store... Is your car up front or in the back of the lot? Or the first available spot that you can find?

When you fold laundry are your socks rolled into balls, one tucked into the other flat, or kept separate? Why? Do you have a sock basket for the single stray socks or do you toss the ones you can't find mates to?

How about this: Why does one procrastinate? There is nothing beneficial about procrastination, but it happens to most everyone on a daily basis. Why do we make choices like this? I can think of at least 5 things right now that I should have done yesterday...

And let's talk about beauty. Who defines what beautiful is? Society through advertisements? What my parents and siblings taught me? My peers? When you look in the mirror, do you see how divinely beautiful you are? Or the supposed "flaws"? My guess, because it is usually this way for me, is that It is the"flaws" that win out.. But why is it so hard to look past the wrinkles and funky hair to see the beauty that God created? Why do most people believe beauty is on the outside when really, its what is on the inside? So, when exactly were the definitions of beauty laid in my subconscious? The day I received my first Barbie?

And let's talk about our habits like smoking, excessive drinking and drugs. The choice to poison your body is met with flabbergastment when the body begins to break down. It's pretty universally known that a car without oil breaks down, but our bodies need that same tender loving care too. Why does one make these choices? (And no, I am not smoking, drinking excessively or doing drugs... So don't read more into his comment than was intended!) I really just wonder why we do the things we do....

And on that note, why does one read more into comments than was ever intended!?!

These are a few of the bizarrely random thoughts that I occasionally ponder... I'm just curious to understand the "why's" of life.

I even wonder why you read my blog... :O)

-Cheryl

Why Ask Why?

2011-08-26T12:27:00.001-07:00

Do you ever read something and it sort of stays in your mind, tickling your thoughts to consider it on a deeper level? Sometimes, it's like a bad rash, requiring some attention before it will settle down and go away. Yet, sometimes, it's like the bud of a flower trying to burst open to spread it's fragrant beauty to each person that passes by. I am not sure yet where this nagging thought is taking me... so let's see...

I recently read from this book about how as little children we run around naked with no inhibitions and freely love others that we meet. Even the Bible talks about being like little children. Little kids have faith in the moment, and are not operating from any learned behaviors from society to fear others or to fear situations... They just Love.

The question raised, in this context, was about open marriages/relationships and if we truly embrace being and operating with the pure love and joy of the moment like a child does, then we should be free to love who we want how we want. If we truly understood the meaning of Love (as it was intended to be expressed), should not we be happy for our mate to be loving another person in what ever way brings them joy? Because their happiness should bring us joy. Why does the concept of my mate being intimate with another seem so difficult to accept? Are boundaries healthy or do they limit our ability to truly love others? There are at least 76 objections I could raise from my beliefs about what being in a committed relationship or marriage means to me to the hurts it could cause your mate to personal safety against sexually transmitted diseases. However, what it really comes down to is not so much whether I am for or against open marriages and/or relationships but WHY.

Why do I believe the way I do about this subject? What is MY truth? Am I against it because of what I have been taught from a more conservative upbringing? But if I have been taught this, is it really MY truth? What do I really think about this? Why do I only desire monogamy? Is this choice based out of fear? Or love? When I close my eyes, find the stillness within, what do I understand to be my truth.

If given the opportunity, would I run around naked in front of you? Would you run around naked in front of me? If not, why? If you would, why?

Why. It is such a good word! Do you ever really question your beliefs, actions and choices? Why do you believe the things you believe? Because someone told you to believe this or that? Because it is what society dictates? If yes, then why do you believe that? Are your actions and choices based out of fear? If they are, why? What's the worst that can happen if you raise questions and consider why your Truth is your Truth? Freedom and Understanding about yourself!

One universal truth is that God (or God as you understand her to be) is for you, not against you. This is serious stuff. This is where faith comes from. This is the foundation of peace. You can trust in the goodness of the universe... So from this place of knowing the Creator of Life has your back, what do you believe? What do you believe about this and about everything else?

Close your eyes... Be still... Breathe deeply... Open your heart to yourself. Allow the questions to come. And wait for the answers to resonate in your soul.

What is your Truth?

I hope these questions bring you a new level of enlightenment about yourself. Questioning and challenging myself in this way can certainly be entertaining, agitating and freeing. (However, yes, I still have my clothes on... for now.)

Regardless of which side of the coin your beliefs fall, it is good to remember that ones choices should always honor the love you have with your significant other. Because, really, it's all about the unashamed, unbridled passionate Love that little children share with others - however you choose to define and express it.

I realize this is kind of a controversial issue... So I would love to start a discussion. Your thoughts and comments are most welcome! There is no right or wrong answer, your Truth is yours to share freely here.

With My Love,
-Cheryl

The Aspen Tree

2011-08-21T14:54:00.003-07:00

Aspen Trees - Populus Tremuloides

I was sitting in a meeting at work watching a video about Guest Services and the most amazing fact flashes across the screen... Did you know that Aspen tree groves have ONE root system?

A stand of aspen is really only one huge organism. In fact, the aspen colonies are not only known as the world's largest living organism, they are also the world's oldest known living organism. And here I thought aspens were just another pretty tree to look at...

Boy, was I wrong! Fascinated by this fact about their root system, I did a little poking around on the internet and found out some really interesting facts:

Each individual tree can live for 40–150 years above ground, but the root system of the colony continues to live for a long time. In some cases, this is for thousands of years, sending up new trunks as the older trunks die off above ground.
The largest living Aspen colony is named Prado and is located in the Fishlake National Forest, near Fish Lake in south-central Utah. The name "Prando" was chose because it is Latin for "I spread." Currently, Prado covers 107 acres and has 47,000 stems. The average lifespan of the Prado trunk (or stem) is approximately 130 years.
The root system of Pando is estimated to be among the oldest known living organisms in existence at 80,000 years of age.
Prado is also considered to be the world's heaviest known organism, weighing approximately 6,600 short tons.
The aspen tree is usually the first growth after a fire because the root system is protected, being so far under the ground.
The aspen is a hardy tree and is relatively easy to grow. It likes lots of sunshine and needs quite a bit of water to thrive. (Somehow, these aspen-like qualities I find within myself... a hardy soul who likes lots of sunshine and water!)

A single aspen grove can grow large enough to cover an entire mountainside while the trees within the grove are interconnected through their shared root system. Each tree stands as an individual and at the same time is connected to the whole.

Yoga in the Park, Carbondale
hosted by True Nature Healing Arts

As I reflect on this unique characteristic, I am convinced that it is a lot like living here in the rightfully named Aspen Valley. Attending community events like Music in the Park or Mountain Fair, venturing out on the Rio-Grande Bike Trail, soaking in the pools at the Hot Springs, enjoying Yoga in the Park, having fun at First Friday or even just going to the grocery store, you are sure to see a handful of people you know. There is no Six Degrees of Separation in this Valley, it is more like Two Degrees of Separation.

There is a deep connectedness between people here that goes beyond just "knowing" someone. Life in the Valley is a little slower paced, where appreciation for people and taking time to chat takes precedence. Where lending a hand and sharing a needed item are commonplace. Where smiles come easily and hugs are welcome.

There is just something about living in the shadow of Mt. Sopris, with the tinkling of the Aspen leaves floating on the air, that brings one to the awareness that you are part of something much bigger than yourself. Aaah! The beauty of that moment! With this fresh Rocky Mountain high enlightenment, one is then able to look around and see how truly amazing each flower, tree, rock, cliff and river really are. How divinely stunning each person is, so unique and exquisite. One is able recognize the appreciation and love for the Valley in the eyes and smiles of the locals as they pass by... Because truly, all who live here are connected.

Mt. Sopris with the City of Carbondale nestled at its feet.
Click "here" to view a live webcam of Mt. Sopris.

The symbolism's of the Aspen tree include determination and overcoming fears and doubts. It seems appropriate that these would be the traits of the oldest, largest and heaviest living organism in the world. And, not surprisingly, it is the trademark of most every person who lives in this Valley.

Aspen Valley... It's just a good place to live, breath and be.

-Cheryl

I Like Dirt

2011-07-20T06:24:00.000-07:00

I had my hands in the dirt the other day transplanting some mint plants into the pond planters on the deck and began to think about how much people can be like plants and flowers in ones life...

While at Lowe's I found some trailing ground cover plants to put along the edges of the planter boxes and they looked awful - over-watered and not enough sunlight. I knew with a little tender care they would flourish when given the right environment. Isn't that like some people that come into our lives? They are emotionally starved, and scarred and just need to be listened to and loved on for awhile and then as they become healthy and beautiful blossoms appear.

My friend, Cindy, gave me a catmint plant to add to my patio planters for the cats to enjoy. It was big enough to break apart and make three separate plantings. Within a day, Ceviche, the Manx, found the plant and she devoured its leaves, and then laid, rolled and rubbed on the plant for the next 20 minutes! It was comedy in action! She could NOT get enough! I think there are people in our lives who are like that. You know, those people who just makes you feel good to be around? The ones that you enjoy so much, even if you just met them? The welcoming laughter that comes from these people is certainly good for the soul.

Earlier this season, in an overgrown garden bed beside the driveway, the most gorgeous fire-orange poppy grew up. It's brilliant color burst through the tall grasses making it stand out. Poppy's are my favorite flower, so it caught my attention right away. I love the way that they just keep coming back, year after year. They don't need an invitation. The poppy just wants to bloom regardless of what their soil conditions are, or where they are planted. Don't you know someone in your life that is like that? That person who is just a constant in your life as seasons come and seasons go, even when not much attention is given to nurturing the relationship? That person who just bursts forth with the crazy color of life wherever they are? I have several wonderful people in my life like that...

And then there are the wildflowers that adorn the grasses of the hillsides, trails and any crevice they can find. Beautiful eye-candy planted by the hand of the Creator; seemingly randomly planted, yet perfectly placed - I think resembles how some people come into your life. You come around the corner on the trail and beside the path there is a beautiful Indian Paintbrush dancing in the gentle breeze... Here arrives a new friend awaiting to meet you, or an old friend ready to get re-acquainted again. It always seems to happen at that time just when you needed them, or maybe just when they needed to see you. Somehow, what we think are random encounters is actually a divinely orchestrated dance among the wildflowers of life!

I have to say I like dirt. I love the smell, the feel, the texture, and the warmth of the soil. And, I love the people that are planted in the soil of my life... They are the unique and beautiful flowers that give my life great joy!

It's planting time! So, let's get dirty! Today is a good day to appreciate a new or old flower in your life!

Bloom On,
Cheryl

Barbecuing

2011-07-04T13:52:00.000-07:00

Barbecue Time
by Animal Liberation Orchestra

"The road is long and windy,
Like a good mystery unfolding
It twists and turns
In colorful subplots and sunburns
And fake out endings
And sometimes my patience in the whole process starts bending

As I attempt to unravel the web
By rehearsing and reversing and perversing and traversing
Along the doubt laden extension chord threads
Of my life

And in this life we're free to dream what ever we want to
But that doesn’t' mean that your dreams are gonna come true
Instead as a way of getting us to move
Life dangles your dreams in front of you
And unable to resist the temptation
We continue

And it's clear to me that this life is gonna be
All about the dangling possibilities that keep turning in and turning out

Yes it's clear to me that this life is gonna be all
About the dangling possibilities that keep turning in…
The road is long and windy
Full of twists and turns
But before you can rise from the ashes
You've got to burn baby burn

Welcome to your Barbecue
Where we roast all the dreams that never came true
Welcome to your Barbecue
Pig out and dream anew

Welcome to your, welcome to your, welcome to your barbecue…"
<a href="http://www.lyricstime.com/animal-liberation-orchestra-barbecue-lyrics.html" title="Animal Liberation Orchestra - Barbecue Lyrics @ LyricsTime.com">Animal Liberation Orchestra - Barbecue Lyrics @ LyricsTime.com</a>

While listening to Pandora one afternoon, this song began to play... The tune was catchy, however it was the lyrics that really caught my attention: "...Before you can rise from the ashes, you've gotta burn baby burn. Welcome to your barbecue, where we roast all your dreams that never came true. Welcome to your barbecue, pig out and DREAM ANEW."

The words of the song that say "... Before you can rise from the ashes.." instantly reminded me of the Phoenix. Dictionary.com describes the Phoenix as "a mythical bird of great beauty fabled to live 500 or 600 years in the Arabian wilderness, to burn itself on an a funeral pyre, and to rise from its ashes in the freshness of youth and live through another cycle of years: often an emblem of immortality or of reborn idealism or hope."

I don't believe in coincidences, rather I believe that all things happen for a reason. Does this song somehow symbolize my "literal" move to Phoenix from Seattle? Was this what I needed, a short season of "barbecuing" before I could rise from the ashes and "dream anew"?

Yep, I bet that was indeed just what I needed. And now, it's time to spread my wings and soar with the freshness of reborn hope that fills my mind, heart and soul!

So, what do you need to barbecue today?

-Cheryl

The Playground

2011-06-29T13:10:00.002-07:00

When considering moving to another town, one aspect that I did not fully contemplate was that I would not have my circle of friends going with me. I was going to a new city full of STRANGERS... and I was going there all by myself.

"Strangers are simply friends you haven't met yet."

Once the novelty of the move to Colorado began to wear off, I actually began to get a little homesick. Okay, a lot homesick. I found myself getting lonely - I missed my family and friends so much! There were plenty of phone calls, but I began to miss the social activities and interaction with others that was such a big part of my life. Expecting Peter to be my "social director" was a bit of a stretch for both of us. (Trust me, I was extremely high maintenance there for awhile!) All I can say is, bless Pete's kind and compassionate soul, as he slowly but surely helped ease the transition from my community into his, and today we are enjoying creating "our" little community of friends...

I guess moving is hard for everyone. For me, I didn't have a way to meet anyone as I wasn't involved in any social circles outside of the home: I didn't have kids in school or who were involved in sport activities and I wasn't working outside of the house. So, how in the world do you meet people and make friends?

One day I was expressing my frustrations to my dearest friend, Stacey, and giggled at her response: "Yeah, I bet [you are having a hard time]. But you are fun so I know you will make friends fast. You can be like the little kids on the playground that go up to other kids and say..."Hey, will you be my friend?" And they will say, "Of course!" And I will ask you their name and you will say "I don't know, but they're my friend!""

That day I gained a new perspective: I'm just playing in a new playground, full of potential new friends. I just had to connect with a few...

When I went out to visit Peter for the first time last January, we joined a group of Peter's friends and acquaintances at a local brewing company, Glenwood Canyon Brewpub, for a get-together. However, we didn't realize that it was actually a birthday party for this sweet woman, Cindy Jo. I didn't know anyone, but I sure enjoyed watching the interactions among this handful of friends and found myself laughing hysterically at the comedy being played out. Yes, I laughed so hard I even snorted... several times.

Really? Yes.

My snort made Cindy Jo laugh even harder... And then, she honestly said, "I love your snort!"

Really? Yes.

"Most friendships begin with a compliment."

- Peter M. Brown

I liken that night to my first time playing on the Glenwood Springs playground. I was eager to be included, yet not sure how exactly to become accepted into the game that is being played. You realize that it only takes one person to extend a hand to make another feel welcome; and then the playground explodes into a kaleidoscopic of epic adventures and the exhilaration of new found friendships. The playground - with its magical flying dragons, cowboys, princes and princesses, magic wands and monster trucks - offers such incredible opportunities to enjoy and explore! To the newcomer, every word exchanged fills the inner child's desire to play together again... and soon!

"Each friend represents a world in us,

a world possibly not born until they arrive,

and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."

~ Ana Nin

In May, we joined this group of friends again. The table was filled with lively conversation and much laughter and I found myself enjoying the evening so much! It was that night when Cindy Jo leaned over and asked me, "Want to go on a hike with me tomorrow at 2:00pm?" Whooohooo! I made a friend on the new playground! Of course, I wanted to go!

Grizzly Creek Trail
Glenwood Springs, CO

We headed out Saturday afternoon to the Grizzly Creek Trail, which is about 15 minutes East of Glenwood Springs in the Glenwood Canyon. The trail follows alongside Grizzly Creek and was so amazing! The sounds of the rushing water mingled with the beauty of the wildflowers alongside the trail that were beginning to blossom, all overlaid with the birds singing made the hike so very magical.

We hiked up about two miles to Cindy Jo's favorite place... several large flat boulders sitting on the edge of the creek, at the base of several small waterfalls. We sat peacefully on the big rock enjoying the sounds, smells and sensations of the moment, while munching on several tangerines.

Grizzly Creek

That is until we heard the thunder roll. Looking up, the sky was darkening... a storm was rolling in. A few raindrops fell. Then, we saw the first flash of lightening. Again, the thunder boomed loudly, echoing off the canyon walls. We continued to sit there on the boulder at the water's edge, calmly enjoying our snack when the second lightning flash illuminated the sky. Looking at each other, we decided this was not the safest place to be in a thunder and lightning storm... We best run for the car!

And, run we did!

What an fantastic adventure that day held for me... from eating a tangerine on a rock alongside a beautiful waterfall in the middle of a thunder and lightning storm to sharing laughter with a new friend. This new playground wasn't so scary after all; it was actually quite entertaining!

Cindy Jo and Cheryl

Isn't it fun, isn't it extraordinaire -

friends are found most everywhere.

I am thankful for all the friendships I have - both old and new - in the playground of my life.

-Cheryl

Laundry

2011-06-07T18:09:00.002-07:00

Airing out the laundry ...

I picture a clothes line filled with freshly laundered clothes of assorted shapes and colors, gently billowing in the breeze with the warmth of the sun gradually drying the fabrics. For some reason, a full clothes line brings a sense of peace to my soul... Maybe it represents that there is order in the house - the time and care it took to launder the articles, carry them outside and hang them up one by one. Allowing for the hours to slowly slip by before you can take them down again. Once dry, pulling the clothes off the line and burying your face in the warm scent of natural freshness can be moments when time stands still. There is definitely something in the ritual of airing out laundry that can bring a deep sense of contentment… What was once dirty and un-wearable becomes fresh and clean.

I find interesting the correlation between clothing and our personal "laundry" that we carry around. I was recently faced with an article of my life that was quite muddy and stained. This piece of clothing has been a part of my life for many, many years (actually like one of my favorite sweat shirts) and it got ruined because of choices made that were not healthy for me to be around. Having to look your “dirty laundry” in the eye can certainly send a cascade of emotions raging though your body. However, it is interesting the part that fear plays in exaggerating circumstances so situations can seem so out of control... I found that when faced with my article of dirty laundry the reality and truth of the situation were able to break through the cloud cover of doubt, anxiety and sadness that had been keeping me hostage. Today, with the strength of new found clarity, I can honestly say that I don't want that sweatshirt anymore. I don’t dislike it, I just don’t want it. By seeing this person face to face I gained the freedom to let go.

I have taken this article of clothing and separated it from my laundry. It is no longer mine to care for. I hope that it finds what it is so desperately searching for before the winds of chaos tear it to shreds and render it unusable. As for me, I can only gaze with tender thankfulness at my beautiful laundry hanging on the line of my life. Each article is a blessing - ones which I love to pull close, embrace and breathe in deeply the sweet smell of joy that each brings to my heart. Airing my laundry, even dirty laundry, is as good metaphorically as it is in reality.

Here's to clean laundry!

-Cheryl

Broken Glass

2011-04-22T12:19:00.002-07:00

"The nice thing about things falling apart is

that you can pick up only the pieces that you want..."

I just read these words from a devotional email that I received and it brought back memories of how I felt several years ago and solidified where I am in my life today. Let me share a little bit with you...

The mental and emotional trauma of separating from my spouse was one of the best, but hardest decisions I have ever made. The chaos of dysfunction colored my world crazy shades of anger, hurt, bitterness and frustration... freedom from these psychedelic emotions was found by building walls and hiding within. It seemed at times that I would never escape...

One Saturday morning, lost in the music the worship band was playing at a Women's Meeting, I felt broken and defeated by "life". All I saw was my brokenness... In that moment I was granted a vision of standing alone with the shards of my life's hopes, dreams, aspirations and wants and desires falling to the ground and shattering. I began to weep for all that I had lost and through the tears, began whispering my feelings to God. In my anger and frustration, I asked Him, "Who even cares!?"

He whispered to my heart and soul, "I do."

The images of the vision shifted, and in that moment, I saw Jesus bent over with a small dust pan and hand broom sweeping up the broken pieces of me that lay shattered all over the floor. His whisper came once again, "I am going to take the broken pieces of you and make them into something beautiful."

I believed. I wept tears of gratitude.

As an act of faith in the Words whispered to me, I gathered vases in different colors (red, blue, light blue, pink, orange, green, and yellow) and broke them into pieces with a brick. With each vase that I crushed, I let the chaotic emotions out. When all the vases were broken, I laid out the shattered pieces and began to glue all the different pieces back together. I wasn't trying to create anything in particular, but what eventually emerged was this...

I realized that the broken pieces of each hope, dream, aspiration and want and desire - when melded together with faith - bring a phenomenal new beauty to life. Just as the devotional said, "The nice thing about things falling apart is that you can pick up only the pieces that you want..." I was able to create a beautiful image (that is prominently displayed as a reminder of His promise to me) by picking the pieces I want - pieces that fit together. Not every piece was used, because they didn't fit.

Today, I continue to choose only specific pieces - the things of life that bring love, joy and peace. I believe my life is beginning to reflect the beauty He promised...

I believe. I believe for me... and I believe this for you, too.

And the best part is... it's only going to get better!

-Cheryl

The Encounter

2011-04-17T09:59:00.001-07:00

When the car headed south our last trip in March from Washington to Phoenix we actually had an agenda. We had heard about the mysterious Area 51 which lays in the desert plains of southwestern Nevada, and decided that THIS was something that we definitely needed to experience...

Area 51 is a military base whose primary purpose is to support development and testing of experimental aircraft and weapons systems. As Wikipedia says, "The intense secrecy surrounding the base, the very existence of which the U.S. government barely acknowledges, has made it the frequent subject of conspiracy theories and a central component to unidentified flying object (UFO) folklore."

Well, there are a couple of other strange things about this secret Area 51...

Did you know that it is located on the Extraterrestrial Highway?

Area 51 is really quite protected... (Take a picture and run...!!!)

We even found the most interesting little restaurant and motel in Rachel, Nevada called The Little A'Le'Inn. Pat, the owner of this unique establishment, offers these intriguing thoughts:

"The events and unidentified flying objects we see and only hear at times in this area often leave us shaking our heads. The unknown is what we live for. The times when logic escapes us and the knowledge of things to come are before us. We welcome it all... Look up as the truth lies there. Always keep your eyes to the skies whenever you can. You just never know when that special event will happen. At those times there may be no answers, leaving you only to wonder what just happened or what you saw, and having to ask more questions... getting no answers. Life is a mystery, enjoy the ride."

So, we did just that... We explored the slightly eerie highways and side roads of southwestern Nevada and this is what we found...

You just never know WHAT is going to happen

around that next turn in the road...

-Cheryl

The Blue Suit and Red Cape

2011-04-11T14:43:00.001-07:00

I had a dream last night that I was writing my next blog post… So, I thought I should get to it. There must be something that I can say… I am usually never at a loss for words.

I had a picture in my mind of Superman flying up and away from the Empire State Building, yet it wasn’t him – it was me. (I know, the whole blue suit and cape thing would be stepping outside of my usual wardrobe… But, it was a cool picture in my head.) My eyes were closed as I soared towards the sky, arms extended behind me and a lazy smile of contentment played across my face.

How high could I soar like this? What brings this kind of feeling of elation?

V.Satui Winery, Napa Valley CA

The Grand Adventure has brought me through the streets of Chaos, Fear, and Doubt to the Gate of Possibilities. Daily life filled with faulty mindsets, overwhelming responsibilities, and unrealistic commitments will become suffocating. The winding streets of life always lead back to each other, intertwined and connecting creating a maze that is difficult (but not impossible) to break out of.

The Desert Trail,
South Mountain, Phoenix AZ

First comes the thought and desire for “life to be different” – that yearning for a balanced life that the soul is seeking. At this point, it is easy to suppress the desires of the soul and cling to the illusion that everything is under control. You know, that whole, “Buck up and Deal With It!” Attitude. However, for me, the desire to change was greater than my "need" to cling to the supposed security of my tangled life. So, it was my boldest choice to follow the Path of Change to see where it would lead. I could find no reason not to embark on this journey... Walking through this Gate of Possibilities released me into the Wild Unknown where the rugged beauty of my life is filled with Faith, Opportunities and Unlimited Potential.

Donning the Blue Suit and Red Cape,

I have experienced life in a new dimension.

Mesa Verde National Park,
Mesa Verde, CO

Alice Kingsley: "Sometimes I believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
The Mad Hatter: "That is an excellent practice."

(Excerpt taken from Alice in Wonderland, 2010)

How high will I soar? I guess that will only be determined by how many impossible things I believe in…

Let's begin counting, shall we?

-Cheryl

Lost in the Quietness

2011-04-06T16:05:00.001-07:00

Man, my life was out of control! Late to bed and early to rise, rushing through every morning ritual, including my quiet time with God. No time for breakfast, barely time for coffee. Hurrying out the door for work, where most days the pace never let up. Quickly leaving work to make my way to the gym for a swift workout before I found myself tangled in some other obligation or responsibility. What had I done to myself? Did I even know myself?

Have you ever felt that if the Earth didn’t quit spinning you would fall off? I did… It was spinning too rapidly for me to keep up. I wanted it to stop… I wanted off this manic ride. I wanted to collapse on a shore where I could once again find my breath. I wanted to stand on a mountain where my thoughts were as clear as the air. I wanted to walk down a path that led beside still waters. I wanted to look up into the night sky long enough to get lost among the stars and planets, swallowed up by its vast magnitude.

Those were days I felt like the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland singing: “I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date. No time to say "Hello." Goodbye. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.” But, where was I going and why? Lost in the busyness of life, did I ever take time to enjoy the moment of NOW? To breathe deeply the beauty of each moment – in spite of the circumstances I faced. Looking deeply into the eyes of the person I was talking to and really listening to what they were and weren’t saying; to embrace the one that desperately needed a hug regardless of what time it was; to celebrate with abandon the good fortune of another; to escape into the stillness of the sunset by turning my phone off or stopping to breathe in the smell of the flowers at the grocery store instead of rushing past without so much as a glance…

This journey has reminded me to dance within each moment I have been given. You see, I only have now, THIS moment… And what do I choose to do with it? It is my choice, and yours too. It is my choice to stop and feel the sand between my toes; to place my hands on a rock that was created a million years ago and contemplate all that it has seen and witnessed; to close my eyes and listen to the wind blowing through the trees, allowing them the opportunity to dance with abandonment for all to see; to create laughter; and to accept each person for the divinely beautiful creation that they are – just as they are. The power of THIS moment alters my thoughts and fills my heart with gratitude and joy.

Quieting myself - from the doing, going, rushing - has become an act of will. For many, many years I operated at a pace that was toxic for my soul, spirit and physical body. Embracing the quietness within each moment brings harmony to my life. It is something I deeply desire - to be connected to all that God has created.

Today, the beauty of life unfolds as I remember Who I Am ... And, I can only be Who I Was Created To Be as I continue to slow down long enough to know myself.

-Cheryl

Let's Play

2011-03-24T02:17:00.001-07:00

Our bodies were made to run and play. As a child, I remember driving over to see my grandma who lived on Whidbey island, and once on the island, my mom would pull over so I could climb the little hills on the side of the road. The exhilaration of reaching the summit, which in the eyes of a child was so high, would fill my chest with joy that would giggle out as I waved to Mom from the top. Then I would race full speed back down the hill back to the car.

When I was young, my world was transformed into the most extraordinary playground. I was a wild mustang stampeding up the stream behind my home, splashing water and mud. The forest filled with alders and evergreens was actually a jungle as I hung upside down from the limbs of the trees, the vines ready to grab and swing to the next tree. I would swim with the dolphins in Martha Lake. Riding my bike down the street as fast as I could go, arms spread wide and eyes closed, I was flying like the birds overhead.

Scripture says for one to have the faith of a child…. A child embraces the moment they are present in, being only concerned about the “here and now”. This reality has re-awakened within my spirit. Somewhere along the path of my life, yesterdays troubles and frustrations for my tomorrows clouded my mind and I lost the love for the “here and now”. Of course there are moments of grown-up responsibilities, but they should never overshadow the power of laughter and love for every moment in time…

Opportunities to play can be found everywhere! From within the confines of our car we crank up the music and dance in our seats; or sing at the top of our lungs. Outrageously flirting with each other and taking crazy pictures we drive without set destinations, exploring the map for the next best place to stop.

On the trip down to Arizona we found ourselves in Cannon Beach with the ocean beckoning… so we hoped out of the car and kicked off the shoes and headed for the water.

One of the best games to play on the road is “Where will we eat dinner?” There are many distinctively unique restaurants found off the beaten path. It takes a little patience, and sometimes persistence, to locate the “right” one… but the adventure of driving the back roads, talking to the locals, and finally finding it always proves extremely pleasing to the palate.

The Amazing Crab Dinner
at Local Ocean

After chatting with the clerk in the co-op and a lady on the street we found Local Oceans right on the waterfront of the Pacific Ocean, in Newport, Oregon. The restaurant, located across the street from the marina, offered fresh seafood and crab. The Captain of the vessel who caught our dinner sat at the table next to us.

In Ukiah, California, we happened upon Ukiah Brewing Company, a local brew pub who offered a fully organic menu and local brewed spirits. The food was a wonderful treat and the band that played a funky fun accompaniment of Gaelic persuasion.

“The walls are getting taller, and his world is getting smaller” is a line from one of Jack Johnson’s songs. Part of the Grand Adventure is the breaking down of these proverbial walls that crippled the child within. It is time to let the faith filled playful spirit run free… for the imagination to find her way back into the garden of life and open wide the gates to a smorgasbord of enchantment. My inner child is awake and ready to climb every new hill, run through the streams, and hang upside down from every branch I can find.

Now is the time to embrace every moment. The child within is beckoning, “Come and play!" What will you do today?

-Cheryl

Hitting the Brakes

2011-03-08T08:42:00.002-08:00

I was reading this morning about love...

How all human actions are motived at their deepest level by one of two emotions - fear or love. These are the only two words in the language of the soul. Every human thought and action is based in either love or fear. Every single free choice that is made arises out of one of these two possible thoughts: a thought of love or a thought of fear. Where fear contracts, closes down, draws in, runs, hides, hoards, harms; love expands, opens up, sends out, stays, reveals, shares and heals. Our free choice is truly which one will I select...

... and so in that moment that you pledge your highest love, you are greeted by your greatest fear. Our culture exhibits conditional love in almost all of our relationships, which is so far from True Love as God intended it to be. Participating in conditional love relationships can cause damage to the heart, mind and soul... but True Love brings healing and hope. I believe in this love. I believe this True Love is available here on Earth. I believe this is part of the Magellan's Ship vision I was given.

While on the road, we were met with a situation that immediately made me want to chose fear. And when I say immediately, I mean if I had not been locked within the confines of the car, traveling 50 mph down the highway, I would have walked away from Peter and the love he extends to me. I literally "hit the [emotional] brakes!" The "What" of what happened is not as important as my reaction to "It". And that is exactly what I did... I reacted based on my past experiences when in the present neither of us had done anything wrong. I chose fear...

I stared that demon of my soul in the eyes for some long hard moments... almost 30 to be exact... before he was banished. The experience left me physically and emotionally drained and my heart raw... but in the end, I chose love - to extend love and to accept love. I chose to believe.

But why did I chose fear when the evidence of love was so palpable?

Because I had faced that demon in the past and he had won. But not this time!

It is easy to believe the lie of conditional love: that you are only worthy of love based on the way you perform or act according to some set expectation or circumstance. And some of these lies have been woven into the fabric of Who We Are from the time we were children... but that is NOT who we really are. We are created in the image of God: We are the most magnificent, most remarkable and most splendid beings He has ever created.

And believing that each of us are divine and worthy of love gives me courage to fight off those demons for myself and others. There is such freedom in True Love. Believing in the depth of this True Love leads one to a place where there will never be a need to respond in fear again...

I choose to drive without brakes now.

-Cheryl