To empower people with new beliefs which enable people to take responsibility for their own communication and the way in which they deal with circumstances and situations however challenging.

I) There is no such thing as failure only feedback

One of the first steps in becoming an excellent communicator is to become comfortable with feedback! No one person ever reached the dizzy heights of excellence overnight and there have been for everybody a series of key stepping stones which have allowed each individual to develop. You yourself have experienced this and your current level of skill to some extend is linked to the level and quality of feedback you have received; how much you have acted on and responded to that feedback and how persistent you have been in looking for feedback in order to continue your improvement…

Many individuals have a natural fear of failure which comes from experience and the way in which our early failures in life were dealt with and handled effecting our perception’s today. Excellent communicators have a very different attitude to failure, THEY DON’T BELIEVE IT EXISTS!

I know crazy you may think, however if you believed right now that there was no such thing as failure and treated every single thing that does not go well in your career as feedback constructed for you to improve…
Imagine now how differently you would react to circumstances and events; how would you behave and react differently?
How would you react under pressure? in the knowledge that whatever happens you will learn from to allow you to improve in future.

There is a second key message amongst this and that is the questions which we ask our-self when things go wrong with communication…

When things go wrong if we truly believe there is no such thing as failure then we ask ourselves a set of empowering questions…

What did I learn from the event today?
What could I have done differently next time?
How can I ensure that the message lands in future?
What do I need to improve on?

These questions put the emphasis firmly and squarely on our shoulders to look at what we can do, there is always something, even if you can’t see it right away there will always be something you can do even if that involves a difficult decision.
Compare these questions to the typical self talk that many people run…

I can’t talk to anyone about that…
I’m a terrible public speaker…
I know I’ll never get the outcome I want so what’s the point…

To mention just a few and we begin to get the picture of how communication goes wrong before anyone even enters a room or picks up a phone…

So to begin your journey begin right now to get comfortable with failure and treat it instead as feedback. Feedback is your friend it is there to help you improve and without it you stand still…

In order to assist your progress complete the following action steps…

• Talk to 3 close colleagues and get 1 constructive piece of feedback from each on your communication skills

• Give 3 examples from your work over the past months where things have not gone as smoothly as you would have liked and write down the key positive learning’s for you. Make sure they are positive about what you need to do or learn

• Think about what you consider to be your biggest failure in your career and work out what you can learn positively for your future from that event

• Think about the most uncomfortable communication issue within the workplace currently and tackle that issue head on with the people concerned. Once completed write what you learnt from the experience what could have gone better why? What did you positively learn or would do better in future?

• Book 15 minutes with the person in your workplace whom you struggle to communicate most with and discuss with them how you could more effectively communicate with them…

Look out for the next phase of Magenta’s communication matters content shortly…

To contact Magenta about coaching and training opportunities contact bevis@magentacs.co.uk or 07764758460

I was as a result of the audience slightly more apprehensive than usual and I admit it a little more nervous as a result…

What a great learning experience, the audience were both amazingly receptive and a great group of people…

I realised instantly that…

Highly successful people have a different outlook on life to the mainstream…

They have trained themselves (in this instance with assistance from Peter) to focus on what value they can find…

Are you recognising the value in your day to day experiences and do you always search out for what can help you or are you focusing on what is wrong?

Interested in learning more?

Contact me at bevis@magentacs.co.uk to find out about workshop’s 1:1 coaching and the opportunity to train to become an NLP practitioner…

Speak soon,

Bevis

Chances are if you are anything like me you will be managing your team in a way that you would like to be managed, seems fair right!

Problem is; everyone is different and although we fundamentally know this it would be tremendously difficult to find out what motivates our employees and amend our style to suit their needs; right?

Wrong, in this day and age it is now very simple to find out…

a) what motivates each of our employees
b) how motivated they are and…
c) how we need to amend our management style to increase their personal level of motivation

In fact it takes just 10 minutes for you and your team to complete a motivational map and ona short time after that to have strategies in place which can’t not increase the motivation of your team…

After all we all know that performance is a combination of direction, skills and motivation; the problem has been we have never previously been able to measure motivation; well, now we can…

To complete a motivational map and learn more about how using motivational maps can help with your team contact bevis@magentacs.co.uk

http://www.magentacs.co.uk/motivational-maps/

Avoid and bury the emotion…
Endure and wallow in the emotion without changing the pattern…
Compete and get competitive with others about how bad they feel or…
Utilize and learn from the emotion…

Nobody can make us feel anything; we choose what emotions we feel by adopting a certain pattern of what we focus on, our body language and movement, our beliefs and the questions we ask ourselves…

When we create the feeling of love in ourselves that is the result of a series of events (strategy) that trigger our rule that says hey I can feel loved and then we let ourselves experience the positive emotion.
The same can be said of any emotion, however sometimes our rules, the meanings we give to things and the questions we ask ourselves lead us into a negative emotion and sometimes if we have created this pattern regularly it almost becomes an automatic process…

Nothing in life has meaning other than the meaning you give it…
So if you are experiencing negative emotion; change the meaning of what has happened…

For example…
An event happens and the meaning derived could be that means they don’t love me…
Change that to that means they love me they just don’t know how to communicate it and the results are much more positive…
The second meaning would then precipitate a conversation about the way we want to be communicated too, the first leads to a negative un-resourceful state.
This explains why some people have the same experience yet re-act differently to it; they place different meanings on events…

The Emotional Triad
So next time you experience a negative emotion, firstly notice your body language, posture and movement and change it.
Think of a happy time and notice how you moved or think of a joyful person and notice how they move and adopt that posture, the breathing pattern and movement…
Notice where you are looking and keep your vision up rather than down, breathe deeply from the stomach rather than shallow chesty breaths.
MIT in America have made massive breakthroughs with people suffering low mood simply by getting them to change their pattern of movement and by getting them to smile and keep their eyes focused up rather than down.

Secondly think what is it I am focusing on and change your focus. If something bad has happened rather than focusing on what has happened focus on what you want to happen in future to improve the situation. If you are thinking of a person change the focus and think about the outcome you want with that person…

Thirdly ask yourself what would I have to believe in order to feel that, often when people are down they are often believing that there is nothing I can do I am helpless etc etc. Think how does thinking that help me and think about the questions you are asking yourself…
Questions like, why does this always happen to me? Often lead to mischievous answers from our unconscious; like because you’re an idiot or worse!!

We need to learn to ask ourselves better questions for example…

Questions to use
How do i want to feel?
- Whichever positive emotion that you want
What do i have to believe to feel that way?
- Take on that belief
What am i willing to do now to achieve this?
- Take action whether it be speaking to someone/exercising etc…

A system for developing positive emotions…
Breathing and walking
What do you have to feel grateful about?
- Think about all of the things you have to feel grateful about
Visualise what you want as if already happened
- Give thanks for what you have achieved in your visualisation
Visualise what you want to happen that day
- Think about the positive outcome of what you want to happen

Our brain does not know the difference between what we visualise and what is real so by focusing on what we want the brain finds a way to achieve it.
Equally if we focus on what we don’t want the same applies so make sure your focus is on what you want to happen.

I hope you enjoyed the blog and I look forward to hearing from you;

Bevis Moynan, BSc, MABNLP, MTLT, MHYP
Director of Magenta Coaching Solutions
www.magentacs.co.uk
07764758460

The first step could well be understanding exactly what is going on with your kid and their association with golf as they grow up…
Up until the age of seven kids are developing rapidly (the imprint period) and you will have heard of the analogy of young children as sponges soaking up information from wherever they find it.
In actual fact this analogy is pretty accurate, the crucial factor however is not so much the information that they soak up but the links they make between activities and their association with pain and enjoyment.
All humans are geared up to move towards pleasure and away from pain… As a young child touches a hot radiator they touch it and feel pain, they may touch it again however they soon learn the association and stop touching the radiator. Think of the converse relationship children develop with their favourite sweet food and you begin to understand the associations being made and their meanings for the individual.
So in order for your kid to develop a long term desire and motivation to play golf it is imperative that their early experiences are enjoyable ones.
How can we as parents influence that? Well a good starting point is learning what your kid enjoys about golf… Have you ever asked them what specifically it is that they enjoy about golf? Please do and listen (without prompting) to the answer, some of it may surprise you.
Simply by knowing what our children really enjoy we can ensure that play, practice and our feedback assists in delivering more enjoyment for them and ultimately a better relationship with the game of golf…
In the next article we will be covering what to look out for in our kid’s answers and what we can help them to focus on to get more enjoyment out of the game…

Bevis Moynan
UK Kids Golf Advisory Team Member

http://www.ukkidsgolf.co.uk/articles