Talking…AND Listening – The 2 Parts of Conversation

We’ve all experienced this person at one time or another. You know, that guy or gal who drones on and on with zero awareness of the interest level of the person that they’re talking to. Lord knows, I’m sure that I’ve been this person at one time or another, and I would venture to guess that almost all of us have been too.

The “Monologue Disease”

I call this the “Monologue Disease,” and find it extremely widespread but not often talked about. Trouble is, when it comes to the world of business, I have yet to meet someone who is fantastically successful while also manifesting this disease in his or her conversations with their fellow business-folk. Although victims of this disease are almost always well-meaning, the act of droning on and on without self-awareness tends to tire, stress-out, and repel others. In short, this is a truly devastating handicap for one’s efforts in the realm of in-person networking.

Of course, there are occasions where we must carry on a one-sided conversation for extended periods of time. Obviously, when delivering a speech, teaching or explaining something to a willing audience, or telling a story to people who are genuinely interested, we often do have to speak solo for a long while, so I’m not taling about those instances.

5 Tips for Overcoming “The Disease”

1. Employ the 30-Second rule. I believe that we all must develop an internal alarm system that goes off when we’ve been the only ones speaking for 30 seconds or more. Of course, I don’t suggest automatically shutting up after 30 seconds, but simply check in with yourself to make sure that this is one of those cases where speaking without a break is necessary.
2. Pick up on body language cues. Is the person you’re speaking to suffering from a case of shifty eyes or extra fidgeting? If so, you may want to take pause.
3. When it is necessary to speak for extended periods of time, make sure to leave a few pauses in your speech to allow for someone to get that proverbial “word in edgewise” if needed.
4. Slow down. Doing anything very quickly is usually a sure sign that we’re in an unconscious mode of autopilot and not attuned to what’s happening around us.
5. Stay conscious of your topic. There are times when veering off-topic into new and distant tangents is a part of a fun and lively conversation. But it can also be warm invitation for the dreaded Monologue Disease, so stay conscious when skipping about in this way.

Do I apply these 5 tips perfectly myself? HELL to the NO – so this is a good reminder for me as much as it might be for anyone else reading this.

I plan on expanding on the “Monologue Disease” as it applies to our online presence in a future post, as this is something I’ve certainly struggled with on my own web site.

QUESTION: Have you noticed the “Monologue Disease” in your own communications, or the communications of others, either personally or in business?

Avoiding learning new technologies means you could very well lose the opportunity to infuse your individual personality into your digital communications. In this new business landscape, standing out from the ever-increasing online crowd means balancing the efficiency of powerful technology with authentic human relationships.

If the thought of updating your blog or adding a PayPal button to your web site leaves you stricken with the fear of God, here are some suggestions to help you claim your digital independence:

1. When in doubt, always Google first. You’ll be surprised how many folks out there have had the same roadblock as you. Google is smart enough that you can usually just type in your exact question in its entirety, but if doing that doesn’t provide you with an answer, try stripping your query down to the words are directly and specifically related to your issue. For example, instead of typing “How do I link my blog to Facebook,” strip your query down to “link blog to Facebook.” And if can get super-specific about the technology you’re using, even better. The best case scenario here would be “link WordPress to Facebook.”
2. Realize that much of what you’re looking at is written in English. If that sounds a bit condescending, let me reassure you that I’ve had to remind myself of this same fact time and again as well! For example, looking at the WordPress control panel that I’m using to compose this blog post, if I read down the various options on the left side of the screen, I see the words “Posts,” “Add New,” “Categories,” and “Post Tags.” While terms such “Post Tags” might take the newbie on a quick Google excursion, generally speaking, the terminology you’ll see on most online products and services is in plain English (as opposed to some intimidating blur of computer jargon).
3. Get clear on precisely where you’re stuck. Maybe you’re not as confused as you might think. Rather than resigning yourself to saying “I JUST DON’T GET IT!,” try and see if you can isolate precisely what it is that you don’t get. For example, maybe you know how to create a blog post, but you’re not sure why it adds that extra space between certain lines of text. Asking “How do I get rid of that extra space between lines of text” is going to get you answers much quicker than just throwing your hands up in dismay and quitting (tempting as that may be at times!).
4. Hire a specialist to give you 1-2 hours of instruction. Since the vast majority of us learn best by doing, taking your first few stabs at trying a new technology with a pro standing by is going to be exponentially faster and more stress-free than going it alone. If necessary, finding a techno-tutor via Craigslist need not be a sketchy affair. Thanks to technologies such as Skype and Adobe ConnectNow, your specialist should be able to conduct the lesson via teleconferencing and screen-sharing rather than meeting you in person. In any case, it’s always good to get some references or at the very least see at a few testimonials before hiring someone.
5. Choose online products and services with a reputation for awesome technical support. If a company hides its tech support contact info somewhere deep inside its web site, then that generally means that they’re probably not going to be very available for you in your time of need. And definitely avoid web hosts that don’t offer phone support, or only offer phone support during business hours.
6. Avoid online products and services that are not widely used. Aside from receiving tech support from the company itself, the next best thing is a strong user community. If the product or online service you’re using has a relatively small user base, then it means that it is unlikely that there will be many online resources such as user forums to supply you the answers you need, rendering your Google-ing efforts quite fruitless.
7. Trick yourself into learning by working on a project that’s close to your heart. Having fun in the process of learning is going to accelerate the process exponentially. Rather than forcing yourself into a crash-course with a stress-filled looming deadline, come up with a project that is low-pressure, but still important. For example, maybe you want to create a really slick online photo album as a surprise for your loved ones. There’s an example of a project that’s fun and meaningful enough to inspire you to persevere through the challenges, but not something that could possibly interfere with your job or your business if not done perfectly.
8. Remember, it’s only the internet. I remember hearing those words from a very talented and dedicated former co-worker. Of course, to many of us this sounds like blasphemy in a hyper-connected world where the internet seems to exist as an Intravenous lifeline. But in most cases, especially if you’re a newbie, chances are you don’t have millions of people depending on your web site for their livelihoods (a la eBay). I’d also venture to guess that national security will probably be just fine if your latest blog post doesn’t show up on your Facebook profile for a few hours.

No need to fear being a beginner and asking for help –  just take that plunge now, you won’t regret it.

Thanks to my marketing compadre Phyllis Zimbler Miller at Miller Mosaic Power Marketing (with whom I’m collaborating on my new Ultra Pro Web Sites, fyi), I was recently made aware of a setting on my LinkedIn profile that’s pretty darn important, super-quick and easy to fix, but which has nonetheless eluded my consciousness over the last few years that I’ve been using LinkedIn.

Click image to for a larger view.

The Ever Important “Websites” Setting

If you go to any LinkedIn profile, at the upper-left-hand side of the page, directly beneath where it says “Connections,” you’ll see the section labeled ”Websites” where you can list up to three links to any URL you choose.  Most people end up simply entering the URL and leaving LinkedIn and its default settings to the task of labeling that URL. The result is often a listing of websites that reads something along the example we see in the image above. As you can see, “My Company”, “My Blog”, and “My Company” is redundant and vague, and most importantly, a missed opportunity to attract folks to your more important online properties.

Adjusting the “Websites” Setting

1. Once you’re logged into your LinkedIn account, go to Profile > Edit Profile
2. In the “Websites” section (circled in red in the screenshot above), click on the “Edit” link near any one of your links
3. From there, you’ll be taken to a page with the settings for up to 3 links at the top of the page. Each link has a drop-down menu, and from that drop-down menu, choose the last option, “Other.”
4. A new input field should appear. Type in the what you’d like your link to be labeled.
5. Repeat this for up to 2 more links, hit the “Save Changes” button, and you’re done!

Ultra Pro Web Sites

For some time now, I’ve been dreaming and scheming towards my very own web site package that would address the needs of small to medium-sized businesses.

The package that I finally came up with was the result of noticing how so many websites are weighed down by bells-and-whistles that do nothing other than add additional time and expense to the web site development process, distract site visitors from where you want them to go, and end up getting broken or neglected by the (understandably) confused web site owner.

Here’s another way to look at how I approached the creation of this package:

Would you rather drive a tricked-out custom Yugo…or a simple and basic BMW?

Ultra Pro Web Sites are geared towards folks who would opt for the vehicle on the right.

All dressed up with nowhere to go

Phyllis and Yael of Miller Mosaic Power Marketing

Building a snazzy web site with no marketing and social media plan is like putting on a $20,000 Vera Wang evening gown and staying home to watch TV.

For this reason, I’m collaborating with my social media and online marketing compadres at Miller Mosaic Power Marketing to help you come up with an effective and sensible plan to connect you to your target audience using your awesome new online presence.

Entrepreneurs helping Entrepreneurs

So you’re probably wondering how the Kiva logo you’re seeing throughout the page ties into a web site package. Well, I’ll tell you that Kiva.org is one of the most amazing charities I’ve ever come across. Kiva enables anyone to provide a micro-loan to an entrepreneur in a developing nation. For these folks, just a small loan can go a very long way towards helping them provide basic necessities themselves and for their families. Using Kiva.org, I recently loaned a small amount of money to a group of women manufacturing clothes in Uganda, and within a matter of months, my loan was 100% repaid, leaving me free to either collect the money for myself, or loan it out once again. You can learn more about what Kiva does by hopping on over to their web site.

The gift that keeps giving

Because I believe so strongly in what Kiva is doing, I’m going to be including a $50 Kiva gift card with the purchases of an Ultra Pro Web Site. This card can immediately be used to make one of these life-changing loans. Since these over 98% of Kiva’s loans are repaid, then you are almost certain to be able to continue using your $50 gift card to change lives for as long as you want.

More about the Ultra Pro Web Sites

Actually, I don’t need to do the whole sales song and dance here. But I will quickly tell you that each web site comes standard with:

• WordPress content management system so you can easily add, edit, and delete your own content
• Optional blog with spam protection
• Top-notch designs
• Your logo plus up to 5 pages of content added by yours truly
• Access to a library of easy to follow how-to videos for updating your web site
• Connections to your social media profiles
• Industry-standard analytics to measure your web site’s performance
• Search-engine optimization plug-in
• A $50 gift certificate for a micro-loan on Kiva.org

…and some more stuff as well, including some additional design and functionality that you can add on if you choose, as well as optional marketing/social media strategy and content creation via Miller Mosaic Power Marketing.

So if all of this sounds interesting to you, then just head on over to the official page for the Ultra Pro Web Sites to learn more.

Since I’m always looking to network with interactive agencies (who are usually a strong match for my particular services), before I meet someone at a particular agency either in person or over the phone, I take a quick glance at that person’s LinkedIn profile and see how I’m connected to that person.

In case you’re not familiar with the part of the LinkedIn profile that I’m referring to, see the screenshot below to see precisely where it is.

Click image for a larger view

Embarking on this 10-second research project before your meeting so that you can bring up your shared connections can build a great bridge.

If nothing else, it’s interesting trivia just to see how you’re connected. Of course, the person I’m meeting may have no idea who the folks who connected to us are, since LinkedIn has a way of hooking us up with pretty random folks at times, but it’s definitely a good start.

So who knows, maybe this is pretty obvious “well…DUH” type of information, but it just now occurred to me, so I figured I’d share.

Inspired by the supa-talented Portland-based designer Deb Pang Davis‘s recent blog post What I Learned this Week #19 2010, I’ve decided to follow suit with my own list of things I learned, last week, but just about WordPress (otherwise we’d be here all month, as I obviously know very little and each week is a completely new adventure in all areas of my life).

1) The Easiest Way to Add a Thumbnail Photo Gallery to your Posts and Pages

While I’ve always been a big fan of the unbelievable WordPress image gallery plugin NextGen, if I want a simpler (but more limited) solution, the Shadowbox JS plugin is an awesome alternative.

For those of you who don’t know, WordPress gives you the option of creating a thumbnail gallery of images right on your blog post or page. However, the default behavior of this gallery is that upon clicking on each thumbnail, a full-size version of the image appears in your browser’s main window, taking the user away from your post or page. Pretty lame in my opinion.

Shadowbox JS makes it so that upon clicking a thumbnail, a dark but transparent overlay with the full-size version of your image appears. Inside this overlay area are navigation buttons so you can flip through your full-size images very easily. This way users quickly see the full-size version of your image without being taken off of the current page.

Get the plugin here: http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/shadowbox-js/

2) WordPress 3.0′s Custom Post Types Rule.

I’m going to keep this as un-technical as possible, but make a long story short, Custom Post Types allow you to have content on your site that’s not just limited to standard WordPress pages or blog posts. Basically, this makes WordPress a much more powerful and flexible content management system that will also be ultimately much easier for non-technical folks to update.

For example, you could have special movie review pages, photo feature pages, podcast episode pages, etc. Each of these special content types can be on specially-formatted pages separate from your blog posts or pages. And that’s just scraping the tip of the iceberg…

However, setting up custom post types on your WordPress site is likely to take some mucking around with PHP code, so definitely be aware of that.

Here’s the best article on the topic that I’ve seen yet: http://justintadlock.com/archives/2010/04/29/custom-post-types-in-wordpress

3) The Magic Fields Plugin also Rules.

For a long time, this plugin has basically done what the newly-introduced Custom Post Types functionality is doing but using a different technological approach. However what this plugin brings to the table is setting up a much nicer user interface for a non-technical user to update their custom pages and posts.

For example, I am currently working on a project where the client needs to create highly-configurable mini-sites which are not blog posts or pages. In fact, each and every mini-site needs to have its own unique header graphics, page backgrounds, and sidebar content.

Magic Fields allows me to set their site up in a way that the admin section for each mini-site comes complete with an additional form at the bottom of the page that’s super-easy to use, thereby allowing my client to establish a totally custom look and feel for each individual mini-site.

At this time, the developers of Magic Fields are updating the plugin to integrate with WordPress 3.0′s Custom Post Types.

Check out the plugin for yourself here: http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/magic-fields/

4) I’m Learning Way More Than I Thought

As I write this post, I’m having a difficult time keeping it brief, and also having to leave out a good amount of information. Working full-time as a self-employed WordPress and UI developer forces me to squeeze an insane amount of new information into my brain on a daily basis…and for that I’m very grateful.

The WordPress community is notorious for being totally cool and supportive of any and all who use WordPress and are looking to improve their skills as well as the reach of the online efforts. This past weekend’s WordCamp in Orange County (California, not New Jersey with all due respect…) most certainly embodied that spirit with 145 friendly and impassioned fellow WordPressers participating in the event.

In addition to the great instruction, included in the dirt-cheap price of $40 was a t-shirt and an awesome Hawaiian BBQ catered lunch.

The event consisted of seminars broken into 2 tracks taking place simultaneously in 2 separate classrooms. One track of seminars was geared towards the more entry-level WordPress users while the other more advanced set of seminars was geared more towards the developers.

I personally split my time between the 2 different tracks, since some of the entry level sessions seemed too interesting to pass up, such as “WordPress for Marketing” and “WordPress as a CMS.”

Some of the really cool things I learned:

(CAUTION: Geek-speak ahead):

Online marketing guru Lucy Beer presenting the group with her own brand of web wisdom.

• Upgrading WordPress MU 2.9.2 to WordPress 3.0 (which makes WordPress MU obsolete as it natively contains all of MU’s multi-site functionality) is not a super-easy process unless you’re a developer
• WordPress is no longer referring to WordPress sites as “blogs” but rather as “sites.” This makes sense as WordPress is truly coming into its own as a full-fledged CMS and not just a blogging tool.
• For integrating a forum into a WordPress site, vBulletin seems like the most hassle-free way to go.
• vBulletin can allow your WordPress site to function as a paid membership site
• If you edit a pre-made plugin and want to make sure that your changes are never overwritten by a plugin update, you can find out how to do that here: http://markjaquith.wordpress.com/2009/12/14/excluding-your-plugin-or-theme-from-update-checks/
• Theme frameworks such as Hybrid and Thesis save you time by offering TONS of different page templates that you would otherwise have to integrate yourself as well as adding individual classes to just about everything in the DOM, but the fact that there’s a good amount of PHP involved in making even simple tweaks can slow you down if you’re new to PHP. So those are the factors to weigh when considering going the framework route. (Always been on the fence whether frameworks save or add extra time)
• I was reminded how cool the PageMash plugin is (I got away from it for a while)
• Google Analytics provides a “heat map” showing what portion of your site visitors are clicking where on your homepage
• MailChimp can automatically create a newsletter for you based on your blog’s RSS feed (good if you’re feeling to lazy to create an original newsletter)

I also wanted to give big thanks to the organizers of the event Brandon Dove & Jeffrey Zinn of Orange County-based hosting and web services company, Pixel Jar. They, along with a small army of volunteers really put a lot of work into making this event as successful as it was.

For WordPress users and developer of all levels of experience, these events a certainly not-to-be-missed.

Website for the event: http://www.ocwordcamp.com

Website for upcoming the Los Angeles WordCamp: http://la.wordcamp.org

To find out when WordCamp comes to your neck of the woods: http://central.wordcamp.org

Chillin' at lunch with my friends (L-R) Zeke Franco, Lucy Beer, and Melanie Orndorff

• Non-Designers and WordPress Newbies – Because you, or the designer you’ve hired have gotta put something in your sidebar, this guide will remove all of the guesswork from the process and give you a visual image of what each widget will actually contain and how it will add to your site’s functionality.
• Web Designers Working with a Client – You may have already accounted for the sidebar content in your design mockup, but in case you’d like to give your client the opportunity to decide which widgets they’d like to use based on their particular goals for the site, a guide like this can save you hours of email and telephone back-and-forth explaining and finally finalizing this absolutely crucial part of the design and development process.

Of course, this list represents just a teeny-tiny micro-fraction of the possibilities for WordPress sidebar widgets, as the total number of available WordPress plugins goes well into the thousands. This is simply meant to be a basic starting point.

For the newbies out there:

• Keep in mind that the images of the widgets below are taken from one particular website, and these widgets will not look exactly like this on your site. Instead, they will be styled to fit your particular site’s design.
• You can make the title of your widgets whatever you’d like. If you’re working with a designer, make sure to let them know what you’d like each widget to be titled.

ID #	Name	Notes	Image
PA01	Pages	Displays a list of the pages on your website. Usually unnecessary if you have a navigation bar at the top of your site with all of the pages already listed. Built into WordPress
LI01	Links	Displays a list of links to other websites that you’d like to promote or share on your site. If you’re working with a web designer and you’d like to use this sidebar, make sure you include the links you’d like to use when you request this widget. Built into WordPress
TE01	Text	This is a just simple text widget that allows you to display any text you’d like to include. Built into WordPress
TE02	Text (with image)	This is the exact same widget as TE01, but I’m simply showing you another way to use it. In this case, we can place an advertising banner in the widget. You could even have BOTH an ad AND text in this widget. Built into WordPress
SE01	Search	This widget allows users to search your website. Built into WordPress
NL01	Newsletter Signup	This widget only comes into play if you are sending out an email newsletter Usually this is done using an outside email marketing service such as Constant Contact, MailChimp, or iContact to name just a few of the myriad of companies offering this service. This signup form is created using code provided by your email marketing service which is simply pasted into a standard WordPress text widget (TE01) Built into WordPress
FP01	Featured Page	This widget allows you to take an excerpt from an existing page on your website and feature it in the sidebar. Since you’re only displaying an excerpt of the page’s content here, the widget will provide a link for your website visitors to go to the page that’s being featured. You can also specify a small thumbnail image to go inside the widget, but this is optional. Web-designers and do-it-yourselfers: Download plugin here.
SM01	Find Me On	This widget allows you to display your various social media profiles on your WordPress site to offer visitors to your site another way to connect with you online. You can use this to link to every major social network, and then some (Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc etc etc) You can also use this as an RSS link to allow people to subscribe to you blog. Web-designers and do-it-yourselfers: Download plugin here.
SM02	Social Media Page	This widget is very similar to “Find Me On” (SM01), but also give you the option of including the name of each social network. Doesn’t allow you to change the order of your social media profile listings, and also does not allow you to include an RSS link. Web-designers and do-it-yourselfers: Download plugin here.
TW01	Twitter for WordPress	If you’re a Twitter users, this widgets automatically displays your most recent WordPress tweets You can specify how many of your most recent tweets you’d like to display. Web-designers and do-it-yourselfers: Download plugin here.
PH01	FlickrRSS	If you have an account with the photo sharing site, Flickr, this widget allows you to display your most recently added images. You can decide how many images you’d like to display here Web-designers and do-it-yourselfers: Download plugin here.
RP01	Recent Posts	This widget only comes into play if your website is going to be including a blog. This simply lists the most recent blog posts You can select how many of your recent posts you’d like to display here Built into WordPress
RC01	Recent Comments	This widget only comes into play if your website is going to be including a blog. This lists names of your most recent commenters and the name of the blog post that they commented on You can select how many of recent comments you’d like to display here Built into WordPress
RC02	Get Recent Comments	This widget only comes into play if your website is going to be including a blog. This lists names of your most recent commenters and an excerpt of the comment that they left You can select how many of recent comments you’d like to display here Web-designers and do-it-yourselfers: Download plugin here.
BC01	Categories	This widget only comes into play if your website is going to be including a blog. This lists names of all of the categories for your blog posts Built into WordPress
SU01	Subscribe Here	This widget only comes into play if your website is going to be including a blog. This widget allows your website visitors to subscribe to your blog via RSS This also allows website visitors to enter their email address and have blog posts automatically emailed to them as soon as their published. Web-designers and do-it-yourselfers: Download plugin here.

If you feel that I’ve left out any basic widgets that a high percentage of WordPress users would need on their site, please leave a comment and if I happen to agree with ya, I’ll add it to the chart!

Working with your designer to create a color scheme for your web site can often be a tricky thing.

On the one hand, many designers are wary of being reduced to mere “pixel pushers.” But, in some cases, it’s helpful to provide your designer with the exact color scheme you were hoping for on your site. Of course, your designer may come back to you with their own feedback, but I do think that being very specific can make for an effective and unambiguous starting point at the very least.

I’ve researched many of the online tools for easily arriving at an ideal color palette, and of all the ones I’ve tried, the “Create a Palette” page at ColourLovers.com is my favorite to date.

Within a couple of minutes, it’s possible for a non-technical person to create, and then share a color scheme in a simple format that would be easy for any designer to implement.

Here’s how it’s done (in a nutshell):

1. Go to http://www.colourlovers.com/palettes/add.
2. If it’s your first time at the site, you’ll need to create an account (it’s free) using the “Sign In” button at the upper-right-hand side of the screen.
3. Add up to 5 colors using the simple point-and-click interface (see the video below for more details on how to do this).
4. Fill in the ‘Palette Name’ field below the color picker section of the page.
5. Fill out any other fields you’d like to fill out (the rest are optional).
6. Click the ‘Create Palette’ button.
7. Since chances are that at least some of the colors you’ve chosen are new to ColourLovers.com’s existing database, you’ll be prompted by an alert window asking you to name your colors.
8. Create names for the brand new colors you’ve created.
9. Click the ‘Create Palette’ button.
10. You will now be taken to the brand-new page for your color palette on ColourLovers.com.
11. Copy the URL of this page and bookmark it, or simply email it to whomever needs to see it.

If you’d like more detailed instructions on creating your color scheme, check out the quick tutorial video below.

Happy color-scheming!

The Dreaded Bug

1. You just installed WordPress on your GoDaddy hosting account
2. You go to change WordPress’ goofy default page and post URLs to the “pretty” Permalink style so that your page URLs can look like www.yoursite.com/about-us instead of www.yoursite.com/?p=2
3. As soon as you make the change, chaos ensues as you now see a “Page Not Found” error where your lovely WordPress interior pages used to be (although fortunately the homepage should still be OK at this point)

While I’ve seen lots of fixes that involve things like simply waiting around for an hour (which is reputed to work as well) or even hacking into your .htaccess file, I’ve found a solution that time and time again seems to do the trick immediately. (And by the way, unless you’re a real geek you’re not even going to want to know what your .htaccess file is.)

The Solution:

1. You’ve probably already done this by now, but in case you haven’t, go to Settings > Permalinks and set your custom “pretty” Permalink structure (ie: /%postname%/ or /%category%/%postname%/)
2. Click the blue ‘Save Changes’ button
3. Now go set your Permalinks back to the ‘Default’ Permalink setting (ie: ?p=123)
4. Click the blue ‘Save Changes’ button
5. Now, once again, set your custom pretty Permalink structure (ie: /%postname%/ or /%category%/%postname%/)
6. Click the blue ‘Save Changes’ button and now go check the interior pages on your website

Et VOILA! Your website has been saved from GoDaddy purgatory!

Oh yeah, I forgot, one final step…

• Call GoDaddy, ask for your money back, and switch your hosting to Bluehost