tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-70662426371291118012024-09-14T00:03:59.679-04:00mahoganydadsTrials,Tribulations and Adventures of Stay at Home Dads of ColorMichael Gaydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05024640148068545076noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7066242637129111801.post-2849117044093439592016-01-13T11:46:00.002-05:002016-01-13T17:11:20.466-05:00<h2>
<u><span style="font-size: x-large;">SAYING <b>NO</b> TO KIDS AND TEENS IS A GOOD THING</span></u></h2>
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As a father of 13-year-old teenage twins (boy and girl) my
wife and I have raised our kids to respect us as their parents. As
a stay at home father from age birth to four and from seven to ten, I have
been able to play a significant role in the rearing of my children. This
has enabled me to influence their lives in ways that have produced well
rounded, empathetic kids. This is a result of them learning the word NO
at an early age. </h2>
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A large number of caregivers (mothers, nannies,
psychologists,) believe the word NO is detrimental and kids should be given the
option of being heard and given a choice of how a problem should be solved
(permissive parenting). My response to that nonsense is NO. I am
not your friend; I am friendly to you. I heard the word NO often: THIS IS
MY ROOM, I DESERVE PRIVACY (to a certain extent). My mother reminded me that
she owns this house, sets the rules and is graciously letting me live in it
“rent free.” I CAN STAY OUT AFTER CURFEW SINCE I AM ONLY AROUND THE
CORNER. My mother said you are my responsibility until eighteen and you
have a curfew at 11 pm. In my hometown, parents could spend the night in
jail for a curfew violation. My mother said if that ever happened, they
better keep her in that jail cell as my life as I knew it may end. <br />Kids are disrespectful not only to their parents but to
other adults. I was at a coffee shop adding cream and sugar when a young
girl reached over my open cup (she never said excuse me or please pass the
sugar). I said, “Don’t reach over my food.” The girl said, “I can
do what I want.” I said, “NO you can’t.” Her mother said, “don’t talk to my
daughter like that.” My reply, “teach her the word NO or I will happily
do it for you.” This is a perfect example of a kid never being told NO in
response to bad behavior. I heard the word NO often and am a better adult
for it. Do you agree?<br />Many kids and teens are being raised in such a manner that
they believe AND ARE GIVEN more power in the parent/child relationship than the
actual parents. Backtalk, disrespect and
absolutely no manners seems to be the norm.
Sadly, we are raising another generation of kids who only look to their
parents as chauffeurs and banks. It’s
never too late to change the behavior. I
have a few suggestions and would love to share them with like-minded parents.<br /><span style="color: red;"><b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Discussion question</span>:</b> </span>Do you use the word NO when disciplining or raising your kids? Has
it helped or hindered your relationship with your child?</h2>
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Michael Gayden<br /><a href="http://www.twinmg.com/">www.twinmg.com</a><br />info@twinmg.com</h2>
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Michael Gaydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05024640148068545076noreply@blogger.com0