mai zamora

Closer to big 30

2015-05-28T14:10:00.000-07:00

Obligatory photo taken in Siayan, Zamboanga del Norte.

Work is (almost) over. It's time to respond to birthday greetings and messages from family and friends who have been asking how I spent my birthday and what I am up to now.

I spent it (mostly) alone. Well, what’s new, right? :P

On my birthday, I was fortunate to spend it in Iloilo, a place I consider home.

Early in the morning, I went for a swim in Iloilo's Sports Complex and went back to the hotel soon after the pool caretaker caught me using the pool without a head cap. Later in the afternoon, I met my friend for late lunch, had coffee at Madge. In the evening, I went to Jaro Church, one of the oldest churches in Iloilo, before going back to the hotel where I was staying.

Madge Cafe - the oldest coffee shop in Iloilo.

That was it - nothing grand, as always. I never wanted it to be grand anyway. I want it simply simple.

Is this what you get when you are about to hit the big 30? haha.

Seriously, I had the best time looking back my adventures and misadventures over the past years. As I look back, what stands out the most were those moments were I had hard time dealing with – the hardship, struggles and rejections I experienced, more than the adventures, dares and travels I had. (I know this is weird but I am not saying I didn't enjoy all my adventures.)

On my early 20s, my parents handed me the responsibility of being a breadwinner after my father had his gall bladder operation and, soon after, he was diagnosed with colon cancer. Life has been tough since then especially when you are running for time for your family, your job and for yourself.

On my late 20s, I had trouble of myself. I had serious doubts as opportunities become so elusive while others get the job they want on a silver platter.

And it was also on the same year when my dear friend was fighting for her life. She passed away five days after I visited her, after my solo trip to Vietnam and Cambodia. (Read the story here: http://maizamora-storytellerandlonetraveler.blogspot.com/2014/11/til-next-time-siem-reap.html)

On my last visit before she died, she was already frail and I never had the chance to hear her talk. I know I was way too late. And this year is the first time for me not to hear her tease me with harsh birthday message. (Read the story here: http://maizamora-storytellerandlonetraveler.blogspot.com/2015/01/blog-post.html)

Life is tough, right? I thought my friend’s death was the last painful change that I will be dealing for this decade. I thought that soon after God will reward and surprise me.

He actually did.

Early this year, I resigned from World Vision where I had been working for over six years, after receiving an appointment from one of the agencies of United Nations and signed my contract three days after it. All those times, I was excited to live my dream - to be working with United Nations and be based in North Cotabato, at the southern part of Mindanao.

But that dream was taken back from me sooner that I never expected.

A phone call from UN changed everything.

UN called informing that they could no longer hire me due to budget constraints. I was on panic. Who would not, right?

So I am jobless after May 29 this year.

And worst, on the same day, I received a phone call from home - my mother was confined and that she has to undergo a cervical procedure really soon.

How would you face it? Tough right?

I cried buckets in every challenges/ struggles. But in one of the hardships, I was sobbing almost every minute - after waking up, break time at work, noon break, afternoon break, bed time and in the middle of the night. That was the worst by far.

But as I looked back, I realized that all those experiences - mocking from bashers, rejection, hardships and suffering – gave me my major breakthroughs.

I may not have everything I want and my plans may have not work the way I wanted, but I got gems that have been my shield and armour. Whatever life throws at me and wherever life takes me, I bring these gems with me wherever I go:

• Never settle for less, dream big! Never give up even if things turn out the way you did not expect it. As Joel Osteen said, “Your best days are not behind you. They are in front of you. Keep pressing forward.”

• When you thought things go wrong, travel alone and be with nature. This quote from Albert Einstein really speaks to me - ‘Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.’

at one of the temples in Siem Reap, Cambodia

• For me, drastic changes and heartaches came major breakthrough. Learn and be thrilled on what is in store for you.

• Life is a daring adventure or nothing - Hellen Keller. Make and do your bucket list while you are young. My grandfather's first time to ride a plane and be in Boracay was when he was on his 70s. He barely cannot walk and preferred to stay in the hotel instead.

• Travel to space out for a well-deserved ‘Me Time’. Travel is therapeutic. It heals and makes you understand everything better because once in a while we have to be distant to the voices of the world, to hear our own and our God.

Here is another one taken with London Eye at my back.

• Traveling leaves marks - be it on your body or heart. Mountains left me dead toenails; cliff diving let me face my fear; and in one of my travels, I met the person who made me believe in fairytale. We did not end up being together though.

• Show compassion! Know that everyone is carrying its cross. Be nice. (I most of the time fail to be nice.)

• Never burn bridges, especially at work. We run in circles, you might end up asking favor to the one you hated the most.

• "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways," declares the Lord - Isaiah 55:8. I had been so stubborn but through the years, I realised, to let Him be in control and asked Him to lead me where I am needed.

• There is a season for everything. Never be tired to wait for your season. It will surely come. Claim it!

• For I know I have plans for you, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

• Every time I feel terribly bad, I think of people I met while on assignment - those people and even children whose life turned upside down, may it be because of disaster or situation they did not expect coming. It is to remind me to remain standing and to survive.

• Be a smart spender. Invest and start young.

Whatever happens, keep your core. Integrity is everything. I have sacrificed my happiness for integrity, for so many times, and I never regret choosing what I believe is right.

The famous bridge in Biliran

• Believe in yourself. I know this is cliché but who will believe in you if you don’t have confidence in yourself?

• Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it. - Joyce Meyer

• Take time to be with the people who value you. They will always have your back.

Got these from the books I read, wisdom from people – friends, mentors and strangers I met during my travels- and lessons from my own adventures and misadventures.

After all, with all I went through, I promised myself to celebrate every year, that's the best way to do it. And I do not think I can be victorious facing my cross if not with good people, from all over the world - family, workmates and mentors – that surround me. I am blessed I have support system and prayer warriors.

And of course, how could I forget my bashers who always remind and push me to be always my best me.

Now, I am 29. I am year wiser. I am ready to face another decade despite uncertainties. I am ready for you big 30. I know my preparation is too early but it is better to be ready than sorry. Haha.

And whoops, I almost forget this - I have not been into a relationship and have not experience holding hands with malice yet, but, still, I believe in ‘true love waits’. haha

Mount Kanlaon in Negros Occidental.

Thoughts came out while climbing Mount Kanlaon in Negros, a week before my birthday; while staying Vista Inn, the hotel I usually stay when in Iloilo, on my birthday; and a week after, while enjoying the beauty of Sicogon Island and even while on a jeepey or taxi roaming around Iloilo.

The pristine Sicogon Island in Iloilo.

Passing on the challenge. Mount Kitanglad is waiting for you!

2015-02-27T18:13:00.000-08:00

“If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try,” – Seth Godin

The view while heading to the summit.

To do a major climb in one of the top five tallest mountains in the Philippines is one of my dreams, it’s on my bucket list. But doing it with a huge group scares me. It’s a big leap of faith for me as I am more confident traveling solo.

But since I love random dares to challenge and get to know myself better, I asked my friend Kulot, known as Pacatang to most, if I can join his group in one of their major climbs.

Early morning view from the summit of Mount Kitanglad

Yes, I was a gatecrasher. I gatecrashed their Mount Kitanglad adventure, the fourth tallest mountain in the Philippines, located in Bukidnon, Mindanao, Philippines.

As a backgrounder, I became fascinated with mountain climbing when a friend I met in Thailand introduced and challenged me to try it one of these days. I had been longing to do it soon but it did not happen sooner that I expected. It took me almost three years of waiting before it happened.

It was a week ago today when I did my first major climb with I think more than or almost 20 mountaineers. I know only two of them and the rest were strangers to me.

But days before the climb, I was having apprehensions and quite anxious of doing it. Thoughts like what if I can’t make it? What if I can’t jive with them? What if something wrong will happen to me? Will they be helping me? All those were running in my head and I admit, knowing that I don’t know the terrain and know the people I will be with scares me to death.

The stairs that gave me body sores!

But my excitement prevailed.

It took us, I think, nine hours to reach the summit and six hours to arrive back to the foot of the mountain the next day, since we had an overnight stay at the summit.

Along the way, I stumbled while walking through those big trunks, roots and stones and muddy forest; I complained with my heavy load at my back; I doubted myself if I can make especially when I was about to reach the summit and I was about reach the foot of the mountain climbing those steep stairs.

The trail.

Thoughts like, why did I do this? I can just go to the beach, hang my hammock and sleep with the sound of the waves splashing. All those negative thoughts were in my mind.

But more to all those struggles along the way, I was greatly blessed to be with the right people.

My companions, whom I met for the first time, were so kind. They are few of the most amazing companions I was with. After all, I realized that, being with the people you share your passion and love for nature with is one of the best experiences. And it is a fulfilment for me to finally loosen up.

with Matetah and Yhen. Thank you, girls, for helping me out along the way. You, guys, are awesome. The climb would be overly challenging for me without you.

They never left me behind. They were so supportive to a first-timer like me. They pushed me hard and encouraged me to keep going; they took and carry some of the things when they saw me having a hard time; one was at my back when I was walking like a drunkard with my soring toes and knees.

The singing, the encouragement and the munching of our trail foods while we kept going were my motivation. And whoops, that experience when we were having a break to wear our red lipstick and the photoshoots along the way were stunner.

The picnic team. Picnic because we love to munch time to time. Thank you, guys. :D

And I was in awe of the view from the top and even while we were in the trail. The colour of the mossy forest with the sun's rays through the trees we passed by, the small trees, a little taller than the shrub, that looks like a fairyland and those old dead trees adding the contrast made it picture-perfect. It was enchanting.

The sea of clouds.

The old dead tree giving contrast and element, making the view picture-perfect.

The enchanting mossy forest.

My Mount Kitanglad and my first major climb experience reminds me that I am human. I am vulnerable and you have to reach out to people. They are just there willing to help you lighten your load.

The summit. Two towers are from the two big TV stations in the Philippines.

The experience teaches me to live life, the best way I know how and that giving up should never be an option; and when it feels like an uphill struggle, get up and carry on. It’s not about how fast you get there but how you keep moving to reach the top. Never give up!

I tell you, the view from the top is amazingly enchanting. There is serenity, a place where solace can be found. It is heaven on earth.

The sunrise seen from the summit.

Another sunrise view seen from the summit.

Thank you, ROTA, for tagging me along. You are amazingly the coolest.

ROTA means Rebirth outdoor Trekkers adventurer. It's a Cagayan de Oro City - based organisations with members sharing the same passion for adventure with a cause in reaching out to Indigenous People communities in some parts of Mindanao.

Now, I pass on the challenge. I challenge you to do the same. Do a major climb with strangers who share the same passion with you. Come back here, would love to hear it.

Note: I was writing this in the bus on our way to Cagayan de Oro City, just few hours after we arrived back from the summit, with muds all around my body and aching toes and knees.

Most of the photos were taken using an iPhone.

I once had a dear friend

2015-01-04T16:28:00.000-08:00

I am so proud of you, Mai! You deserve all of this, Mai. This is a true testament of your hard work, patience and good heart. Keep safe always and don’t forget to pray. I miss you. Mwah! – These lines are music to my ears but what makes it more precious is it came from a friend who had seen me at my worst – broken, struggled, suffered, betrayed, rejected and eventually survived, moved on and strived to be better.

I wish to hear those lines from her again but it will never happen, not in this lifetime.

Time has gone forever. But before I carry on, I have to write and feel the memories to always remember that I had once a dear friend.

She is a friend to lean on. She is rare and definitely for keeps. She is a friend that never I doubted her love and sincerity. I guess, our personality jived and we stayed good friends since college because we both are stubborn and complex but despite our complexity we love deeply and unconditionally.

After college, we do not see often. We have our own lives, in different path. She is settled with a happy family while I am busy with my nomadic lifestyle but, still, the friendship remains.

We had been partners. If one of us is weak and is about to loss one's sanity, either of us would be strong to strike the balance, to think things objectively as it should be.

We never tolerated our mistakes. We both remind each other to do what is good and best. If one of us is not on the right path, we pull each other and make sure to be back on the right track.

We give the most harsh and honest comments to each other, she is good at it more than me though. But we always value those and find it the sweetest gesture.

I can even remember, weeks after my Papa was diagnosed with cancer, she just popped up on Facebook and sent me this message: “Mai, pahulay –pahulay pud kay haggard na kau kag dagway. (Mai, take some time to rest because you look so haggard.)

She is a selfless friend that will never leave a friend behind and would even do the silliest things to make you happy.

Way back college, she with my friends tried to surprise me. They asked my crush to give me a rose and a big box of Toblerone while we were on an event but since I am more than wise when it comes to surprises. They failed, pissed off and ended up eating the chocolate. Stupid isn’t it?

That’s how blessed and honored I am to have her.

But last October, I was shattered to hear that she got ill. Her body became so frail due to TB Meningitis. She can’t talk, move her body and even open her eyes.

I kept on calling her over the phone, assuring her that she have us, her friends aside from her family, and telling her she got cheerers, fighting alongside with her. I believed that she would get through it because that’s how I have known her – a warrior.

She will always gives a good fight on her chosen battles.

Last December, I had the chance to visit her after coming back from my recent lone trip. I knew my heart will be broken seeing her suffer but I had to have the courage to see her and cheer her on in person.

Talking to her over the phone from the past months had been a torture but seeing her suffering was unimaginable beyond words.

She looked so frail. She was so skinny. You would give the impression that she would get only skinnier and littler each day. There was no sign of life in her flesh, only the barest traces of what had been once a good life with a heart-shaped tattoo on her chest that she had before we became friends.

I was sitting beside her with her husband and 5-year-old child Keisha. I noticed every detail of her and how her sickness changed her physically. Half of her head was bald due to the shunt surgery. She had tube on her nose since she was so sick to eat through her mouth. She can’t talk but as soon as she saw me, she was trying to utter words but her frail body can’t make it.

I called her name; she opened her eyes and I saw tears on her eyes. I didn’t know if she recognized me but I hope she knows that she is cared and loved the same way she does to me.

I tell you, with the nature of work I have, my heart had been broken many times, by hearing and seeing the struggles of people’s lives but seeing someone very close to you experiencing the unbearable pain was torture. But I have to fight back my emotions because she never wanted to see her family and friends uncomfortable. She would always remind us – her friends, to have fun and be crazy.

Before I left their home, I still had the chance to wipe her sweats, pull up the towel to cover her chest, put her stress balls on her hands and promised her to come back soon, hopeful that when I come back she will be feeling way better and start reading and replying to tons of get-well-soon messages on Facebook.

But later I knew, five days after my visit, it was the last time I saw her alive.

Rest in peace, Gretchen Tumindog- Bitayo. I miss you big time but I have to be selfless, the way you taught me. I am totally letting you go today, a month after you died.

Greta with her big smiles. Mam, I miss hearing the Greta laugh.

Death is not the opposite of life but it’s innate. – Haruki Marukami.

Written under the pine trees of Dahilayan, Bukidnon while enjoying the tranquility of the forest, seeing and overhearing the conversations of people enjoying the time with their family and friends.

I got one more angel in heaven!

2014-12-09T01:21:00.000-08:00

with Greta, Jay, and Keisha when they visited us at home last January 4, 2014. This was the last time I saw her in good shape.

Wrote this under a big tree, while seating on a chair with a view of a wooden house and on the right side of the house, there is a window where I can see vividly a portion of a white coffin.

"This will be the most difficult task - giving a eulogy for a dear friend. And I hope this message gets thru despite my sobs.

Yes, all those mentioned by the speakers ahead of me, sharing how Greta had has touched your lives and how she was when she was still with us, are all true. I would like to affirm those. And that's how her friends from college know her.

But before I continue, let me tell you that we may be only few here, attending the funeral but there are a lot of people who have shown love and care - sent their messages and prayers - for Greta coming from all parts of the world.

And up to her last days, even after she died, we have seen how God , or Magbabaya as the natives call it, works wonders. It was seen and felt by her friends and the people who even don't know her as a person, who she didn't know either. We were all moved by Greta's life.

An example to this is the generosity and kind-hearted friend from the USA who felt a strong affinity to Greta, even if they don't know each other. She reached out and sent her help for Greta's recovery. With this message and photo that warms our heart.

"My grey world- dead grass, trees with no leaves , no sun and its freezing cold. Helping Greta and her family will brighten my day!," says my American friend. This photo was taken early in the morning in Chicago, taken by my friend.

And as of this writing, all here friends from different circles continue to unite and support each other for Greta. That's how dear she is to us. "Greta has been and will always be part of each on, her friends," says our common close friend, Cling.

Personally, Greta, had been my lifeline in this lifetime, ever since I have known her. She was my brutal and honest friend. She was one of my few friends who always give me harsh and honest comments and advices.

In one my last conversations with her, out of the blue, she asked me, "Gikapoy naka maging single noh? Tug-an ug tinood! (Are you tired of being single? Tell me the truth!)

I turned red. I replied, “Why are you so harsh. It's as if I was slapped strongly on both sides of my face. And she just replied, “Anah man jud nang mga tinuod nga amiga oi, walay pasakayay, walay plastikanay,” (That’s what true friends are, no sugar coating.)

She was really consistent of her words. She might have worries and don't want me to be an old maid. I know it sounds sarcastic to others but I find it sweet. It was an endearment to us.

I'll gonna miss the teasing, the conversation and those moments when we had to cheer up each other if one of us feels upset, mam.

at Divisoria, where we used to kill our time, talking with the street kids

Way back college, I had seen her as strong yet selfless friend. One time, I had an empty pocket and she had her last money left from her allowance - a hundred pesos. She never hesitated to share it with me and we both survived for that day.

And up to the months that she was already sick, she still thinks of the welfare of her friends and family, more than herself. And her being selfless never changed until the last days of her life.

I am certain that in one way or another, Greta has all of us in so many ways.

She made us -her friends- stronger and closer, better than before, even if we are in different circles. Our experiences with her will always remind us to be supportive to each other and to keep the friendship intact despite our personal differences.

Greta, ever since had been known as warrior and fighter. And that legacy remains in me. She has been helping me survive my personal battle, fighting my own demons. She reminds me not to give up with life. And that legacy will never be taken away from me.

I saw her a week before she died. I witnessed how she wanted to survive but her frail body wasn’t able to make it.

It was hard for me to accept seeing her frail body and much more of her passing. It didn't immediately sink in. I may not have the answers now why God got her too soon.

Early morning after she died, I called her 5-year-old daughter, Keisha, to tell her, while trying to control my sob, how Papa Jesus loves her mother and that Papa Jesus is already taking care of her. But I was struck of her respond, saying, “Tita Mai, dili lang man si Mama iya love, kita man tanan.” (Tita Mai, Papa Jesus loves everyone not just mama.)

And I realized and said to her that, Yes, Papa Jesus loves everyone that He doesn’t want her mama and your family to suffer.

The conversation with Keisha gave me so much relief and assurance. And I think, for all her friends and family who love her dearly, every time we miss her, we have to be reminded to see the passing of Greta, through a child's perspective, through the eyes of Keisha.

Mam, I may not be able to hear you speak with your brutal and honest comments , see you and hear the Greta's trademark laugh anymore; and we may not have each other to lean on, listen to our frustrations, complexity of our personalities but I know I still got your back.

Not as my brutal and honest yet dear friend anymore but as one of my angels in heaven, protecting me with all my adventures here on earth.

It’s hard to say this but I have to be selfless, the same way you have thought us - I am letting you go. No more pain. No more sufferings for you, mam.

And one last favor, mam, please help me not to sob anymore, because my eyes are already swelling and if that happens, I may not find a boyfriend, which you desire for me to have. :P

Thank you, mam. My journey, your friend's and family's will never be the same without you.

Farewell, Greta! You fought well, mam!"

As I was on my last words of my eulogy, with sobs in between, while staring at the coffin, Keisha in white plane t-shirt, was running towards me calling me loudly, 'Tita Mai! Tita Mai" with her charismatic smile. I stared at her, seeing Greta in her, then we tightly hugged each other.

with Greta and my other lifelines

The one written here is not the exact words I shared, I made it shorter during the eulogy.

'til next time, Siem Reap

2014-11-22T16:10:00.000-08:00

You are all tensed up so you always expect the worst. Relax your body, and the rest of you will lighten up - Haruki Murakami.

The amazing Angkor Wat taken early in the morning. Sunrise was not good but, still, this place is picturesque.

These lines hit me. The lines from the book I am reading while spending my ‘me time’, as my-personal-annual-tradition, in my purple rain hammock hang under the trees at the Ta Prohm Temple.

The tour guide takes a photo of the tourist in front of Ta Prohm Temple.

It was almost lunchtime when I became sleepy from waking up early to witness the sun rising with the picturesque view of Angkor Wat Temple and from being tired of walking around the temples.

Nonetheless, it was therapeutic to walk around, take photos of the view and other tourists who were requesting me to take their photos, and meet fellow travellers – lone or group- from different countries.

A monk takes a tour. As he passed by he asked me, "Are you happy?". I gave him a smile and said 'yes'.

When my body was relaxed while laying in my hammock and hearing the birds chirping like an orchestra, I found focus and those lines started sinking in despite overhearing the tour guides talking about the history of the temple and describing why a portion of the stem of the huge tree, referring to the tree in front me, was cut. I understood what the guides were saying but I didn't understand my fellow travellers as they speak on their own language.

Two lady guides wait for their guests who are taking photos with Ta Prohm Temple as their background.

at ta Ta Prohm Temple.

I let my guards down as the book suggested. I read. Fell asleep. Read. Slept again and later on went out of the temple and decided to go for shopping at the old market before going back to the guest house.

For the record, yesterday, was the first time I became too overwhelmed of shopping. I was excited with what I got.

I never thought that doing all those could give me the peace of mind that I had been longing since last year. Yes, I had been nursing a profound burnout. Since then, I had a hard time fighting against my own demons.

Most might have not known it but my closest friends have been concern about it. They kept on telling me how they miss the real me but, honestly, I didn't know how to recover. I just keep on fighting.

Monkeys are everywhere. I wanted to get in the forest but I was afraid of these monkeys.

The yellow balloon seen from the top of Angkor Wat.

Closer look of the ballon.

The experience is really therapeutic. I may not have gone to all the temples, which I don't think is necessary, but this new adventure just lift my mood, my creativity. And I think my excitement in life is back. Until now, I still can't understand how it happened.

If this what it takes for me to be always at my best, I will keep doing it. Never mind how much it will cost me.

Here is my signature pose.

Yes, I think, I am back to life after enjoying the space I needed for a life changing ‘me time’.

Now, I can’t contain my excitement. I think, I am back to the real me – eager, creative and passionate.

A temple tour guide was fascinated to see a hammock under the trees. He approached me and I asked him to take a photo of me which he willingly did.

Thank you for the experience. ‘til next time, Siem Reap.

with Phem, the warm owner of the Happy Guest House, at her chill out zone

This entry was written at the homey restaurant area of Happy Guest House, in Siem Reap, Cambodia, before traveling back to Ho chi Minh, Vietnam. If you travel alone or with friends or family, this place is a good one if you want a relax ambiance. The staff members are friendly. Special shout out Phem , the owner of the guest house, for being so warm.

Note: If you happen to feel the same, referring to burnout, I recommend you to do this. It worked for me, it might work for you.

Mis(s)adventure: Yabi nabilin sa kwarto

2014-07-14T07:42:00.002-07:00

Katisting naka anang lipay kaayo ka kay productive imong adlaw?

Kanang hangtud sa boarding house gasulat ra gyapon ka kay gapusot-pusot imong idea, unya kay igang man ug dili man tsada ang signal sa internet, nigawas ka sa imong kwarto dadto nagpadayun ug sulat pero kana bitaw nakapantulog naka - kanang mubo kaayo nga short unya sleeveless na nipis?

Lami na kaayo imong sulat diha oh, unya kay gi uhaw man. Nangita ka sa imong yabi para kwaon imong tubig sa sulod sa kwarto. Pwerte nimong hikap-hikap sa imong bulsa ug tan-aw sa lamisa ug sa ubos sa lamisa, pero wala gyud kay yabi nga nahiwaran, imposible pud naa sa kilid-kilid kay naa may gatangag nga puti ug daku nga pito, pito nga kanang pang pprrrt..

Nibalik ka sa kwarto, gahandum nga wala nimo na lock ang kwarto. Apan, wala gyud, locked man gyud bisag unsaon ug tuyok-tuyok ang doorknob.

Nibalik ka sa sala, nangita ug pama-agi. Gi textan nimo ang gabantay sa boarding house pero lain na tao ang nitubag, ingani pa gyud ug text oh, "Tulog na siya. Adtoa nalang ang tag-iya sa ilang balay kay naa dadto ang duplicate."

Unsa lugar imong itubag ani kung duha palang ka ka-adlaw nagpuyo sa boarding house, unya wala ka kaila sa tag-iya? Nitubag nalang tawon ka ug, "Ok, salamat. Ugma nalang."

Pero sa imong hunahuna, asa kaha ko matulog ani? Naglingilingi ka sa sala, apan wala kay makita na pwede matulogan unya daghan pa gyud lamok.

Sa sige nimo ug huna-huna unsaon, maayo nalang imong utok ga andar pa, nakahunahuna ka ug text sa kauban sa trabaho, para makitulog. Maayo nalang kay wala nabilin ang cellphone sa sulod sa kwarto, kay kung wala pa, ambot nalang gyud.

Ang daku nga bulabog, mosakay ka ug taxi nga wala kay kwarta unya ang pinaka pait, dayo ka sa lugar, dili ka kabalo sa mga dalan kung asa padulong. Pero mamahala nalang ka kay sa magbuntag ka nga galurat imong mata ug malamukan Sus, unsaon nalang kaha noh, kung imong kauban sa trabaho kay wala, kay nagbyahi?

Katisting naka ana? Ako bai, grabe, katisting ko na, karun lang gyud.

Dili man diay sayon. Busa kamo, dal-a gyud pirme ang yabi. Ayaw gyud pa tanga-tanga.

Mis(s)adventures with Lolo Pedring!

2014-06-14T17:21:00.001-07:00

Got so many fond childhood memories with this old man.
When I was still a child, I always run to him every time my mama scolds me, he then go to our house to scold my mama back; he drives me to school with his big vintage bicycle and after school, he calls me at home when snack is ready. He used to cook pig's brain for me,
believing that it will make me smart.

But when I already have a mind on my own, we started to have a love- hate relationship.

I scold him; he scolds me back. I used to stalk him with his girls. And for two times, I was caught on a fight with his girls,
telling the girls to avoid my chickboy Lolo Pedring.

He even summoned me in the barangay for it. Funny, right?

Despite all those, what remains is those fond childhood memories I have with my old man.

And when I come home from weeks and months of being away, I always look forward to see him outside our gate with his big smiles and with those slow and soft spoken words, "Naa man lagi ka? Asa ka gikan?" He will then call, "Lan (my papa's name) and Bei (my mama's name), naa si Mai-mai!'

And on the next morning, he comes to our house saying, "Kape b!" and of course the granddaughter serves him coffee immediately.

Happy Father's Day, Lolo! I may not be always around to take care of you but I will always stand by you and will live my promise not to leave you behind.

Mis(s)adventure: 'touristing' with trolley and backpack in London

2014-04-26T06:56:00.001-07:00

Whooah! I conquered going to London Tower and walked across London Bridge alone with my trolley and backpack. The hotel where we stayed don't allow to leave luggage and my friends are out so I don't have choice but to bring it with me.

It took me more than an hour, carrying all the luggage with my swollen foot to arrive London Bridge and London Tower. Just imagine how hard it was. Good thing it was cold. I just can't imagine carrying those under the overly warm summer heat in Philippines.

I was lost along the way, met different people across the world, was helped by Hungarian man carry my trolley to the tower, asked a Mexican couple to take my photo, was in hurry to catch up the Underground Train to go back to Waterloo and managed to arrive before our 3:00 p.m. travel to Heathrow Airport.

What a lovely experience to end our England work and pleasure moments. This is my last photo and post before leaving this lovely place in Europe. Bye for now England,. Until next time.

Survived five!

2014-04-24T22:40:00.001-07:00

I'm five years with World Vision this month.

Looking back, I can still remember that I told myself when I was on my last week, about to leave my teaching career and freelance work as Northern Mindanao Correspondent for two national newspapers, I was in the bus telling myself, too bad I can't see my name on newspaper anymore.

But truly My Ultimate Buddy is just soo amazing, He made me experience those to prepare me for bigger things to happen, two of my recent majors were speaking to BBC and The Anderson Cooper of CNN to give voice to Typhoon Haiyan survivors and be able to speak about my experiences in the field and my engagement with World Vision Typhoon Haiyan Response in the place I've been dreaming to visit - Europe.

Thank you Lord for everything. Five years with World Vision was and is never been easy. I made mistakes, I was misunderstood but I learned so much along the way with.

Shout out to my bashers. Thank you so much for helping me know myself more and for encouraging me push hard, beyond my limits.
And shout out with much love and gratitude to my friends and colleagues, local and outside the country, for believing in me and for being so supportive and loving despite my imperfections.

Yahooooo, I survived five and I'm loving it.

It used to be a mere dream

2014-04-24T19:32:00.001-07:00

It's been a privilege to come to #England to share my Typhoon Haiyan experiences and the stories of the survivors I met. The audience moved with Patrick's story - check this story - http://worldvisionmagazine.org/story/aid-worker-s-diary-answered-prayers.

Last Tuesday, I had the chance to speak to World Vision UK colleagues during their weekly devotion: Wednesday with corporate donors who have been very supportive, they've been supporting World Vision for two decades now.

This photo was during the devotion with almost a 100 audience, including the World Vision UK CEO Justin Byworth (wearing white longsleeves). And what made me feel overjoyed was when at the end of every sharing, the audience will approach saying, "Thank you! I moved by your story. I was weeping while you were sharing." Hearing it just so priceless. That feeling of connection to your audience from the stories share means a lot.

Whoops,I look funny on this photo but sharing it anyway as a remembrance for this amazing, and dream-come- true opportunity in no less than, the place that I never expected to visit. UK has been my dream place to visit.

mis(s)adventure - ala first-timer

2014-04-17T16:27:00.001-07:00

I claim to be frequent traveller, going to places by bus, boat and plane, traveling to almost ten different places in a month. It's not bragging but it's putting a context to my misadventure yesterday.

Yesterday, I questioned my claim being a frequent traveler after left by a plane from my hometown -Cagayan de Oro to Manila.

What makes it more exciting was thinking how to catch up my London flight tomorrow (April 19). And I was uncertain if there are flights on Good Friday.

I was sooo (emphasize the so early coz I arrived at the airport two hours before departure) early to travel to the airport anticipating for less shuttles to travel due to Holy Week. (In the Philippines, Holy Week is a big thing. Shops are all closed and roads are clear, just like every time Manny Pacquiao has a boxing fight).

I guess I was one of the first few passengers to check-in. I was seated at the other gate to stay away from the crowd. And after few hours a crew announced for a delayed flight. I was very passive, I didn't react to it because I've been thru worst like cancelled flight when I was about to have my appointment to process my VISA for United Kingdom.

It was past 5:00 in the afternoon and I haven't boarded yet. My boarding time was 4:45 after the crew announced of the delay. Then another airline was boarding.

I post a photo of the empty seats and about to post on Twitter a not-again- theme, afraid I wasn't able to make it to my flight.

When I look around, I was the only passenger left behind the boarding area.
Yes, it's just literally me and two maintenance crew cleaning the boarding area.

And for the whole time of waiting at the boarding area, I didn't hear a notice of boarding and didn't hear my name for last call for boarding.

I went down to check crews of the plane but I didn't see anyone. Check-in counter is literally closed. I asked the police officer and he confirmed that I missed my flight. My instinct never fails me, always!

Knowing that I missed my flight and with second thought, what If I can't make it to my London trip, my first travel outside Asia. My efforts for VISA processing and all those invested feeling of suspense, excitement and stressed, especially that I got my VISA and my friends' VISA on a last minute will be put to waste. If it happens, I can't accept and forgive myself.

For few hours, I felt ashamed of my claim being a frequent traveller. For few hours, I was branding myself as a stupid traveler. My gosh, I hope I can catch up my London trip with my friends and colleague tomorrow.

Lesson learned: Even if you travel a lot, don't be too relax. Keep the focus ALL THE TIME and stay near your assigned gate number just in case you over sleep or in case your mind shutdowns mysteriously.

Adventure: Climb to Osmena Peak

2014-02-16T01:59:00.004-08:00

#Dalaguete, #Cebu, #Philippines

I've always wanted to climb mountains because it's a reminder for me to push, go beyond limits and breakthrough.

And just yesterday, I made a last minute decision to climb Osmena Peak ignoring deadlines for few hours. :P

And of course lone time on top of the mountain is on my bucket list. This adventure is another tick but as I climbed, with every step to the top and gasping for breath, there is this whisper, it must be nature telling me, "Mai, enjoy being a wild card for now. Strive harder and never quit. This isn't your first time to feel that way, you managed it before and I know you will get through it with a good view from the top."

Anyway more to the dramas. Here is a glimpse of Osmena Peak.

s.

Enchanting trees seen along the road to Mantalongon.

Basket full of cabbage. Mantalongon is known as the food basket of Cebu.

We thought this is the road to Osmena Peak but it was not. The habal-habal driver got lost of direction. :P

The locals of Mantalongon at the foot of Osmena Peak. They are so nice and so welcoming to climbers and visitors.

Manong graciously taught me the way to the peak. I intentionally didn't hired guide because I am a child labor advocate. The guides are kids ages seven to ten years old.

The way to the peak. It's an easy trek and it will take you 30 minutes to reach the top.

Fresh cabbage. It is all around Mantolongon and especially at the foot of the peak.

This looks like a fairyland to me.

Finally! View from the peak. This is a normal view in the morning. If you are not in hurry, wait for they sky to clear to see the view of the ocean which happens around lunch time.

taking a rest on a not so sharp-pointed rock while having coffee and at the same time reading a devotional book..

This is nine-year-old Jonamie. She is young with an innocent and pinkish face but this cute little girl guided more than more than ten climbers / visitors to the peak that day.

The rocks here are really sharp-pointed.

On the peak. It's cold up here and you will enjoy observing the fog passing by on you while enjoying the cold weather, just like of Baguio or even Sagada.

This is Osmena Peak. It's an easy trek to the peak and a good 'me -time' place close to Cebu City.

Misadventure: Empty tumbler

2014-02-12T20:55:00.001-08:00

#Tagbilaran, #Bohol, #Philippines

Time check: It's 4:30 in the morning.

In one of the budget hotels in Tagbilaran, Bohol which means there are no basic amenities.

I woke up early in the morning thirsty. I grabbed my tumbler without switching on the light. I was trying to get hold of, I found it and only to find out that my tumbler is empty.

Now, as I write this blog, I'm really very thirsty and is waiting for the stores which opens almost 6:00 in the morning.

So I'll remain thirsty and need to wait an hour and 30 minutes from now.

Lesson learned: Buy water before going back in the hotel even how tired you are.

Life of an aid worker: Lost and found!

2014-02-06T08:05:00.000-08:00

#Tacloban, #Leyte, #Philippines

It was a moment of utter desperation when I met Patrick three months ago.

He was hunched over on the debris littered ground sobbing as he told me how he’d been separated from his wife and children in the chaos of Typhoon Haiyan.

Photo posted on Facebook last November 11, three days after Typhoon Haiyan struck Tacloban City.

This is 27-year-old Patrick. He looks so tired and hungry. It's normal to see people tired and hungry here but what struck me is when I saw him sobbing making use of his bag as his pillow and falling debris as his blanket. He sobs out of misery. "I've been everywhere to look for my two children, my wife and my mother but I can't find them," Patrick lives near the seawall and his house was washed out by the strong winds and heavy downour of Typhoon Yolanda. Please pray for Patrick as he finds his family, pray for him to have strength and courage, and for all the typhoon survivors who have the same story as Patrick's.

I was struck, here was a 27-year-old man begging for the Lord’s mercy. He worried that his wife and children were among the bodies I’d seen cast alongside the road, on a horrific journey to Tacloban.

“I’ve been everywhere to look for my two children, my wife and my mother but I can’t find them,” he told me while gasping in between sobs.

It was a scene of absolute misery. I was crushed – my heart torn as I took in his situation, a young man my age who had seemed to have lost everything he held dear. As he huddled on an empty bag beside an uprooted tree I shared a few of my biscuits and some of my water, just to help him fill his hungry stomach.

As he started eating the biscuit, I stood up to leave. But before I started to walk again, a little voice told me to one more moment with Patrick. I asked him if we can pray together and he said yes. We covered our hands on top of each other and embarked on a prayer that left us both in tears.

“Lord, I know what we gave him is not enough but please give him comfort and his family. Help him find his mother, wife and two little children,” I prayed.

It was all I could offer before I had to continue with our assessment team in Tacloban. For the rest of the day, I encountered more and more bodies. I witnessed people sobbing and grew more devastated by all the destruction.

When I left Tacloban a few days later, and World Vision began providing disaster relief assistance to the thousands of survivors, I would continually conjure up Patrick’s situation. To me, he was the face of the disaster – and I continued to pray for him.

Soon thereafter, I urged my friends and family to pray for Patrick as well. I posted his photo and story on Facebook and asked for prayers for him as he searched his family. I asked for prayers to give him strength and courage and all for all the typhoon survivors who have the same story as Patrick.

As time wore on, and the weeks unfolded from Haiyan, I started to think less about Patrick and his family.

But just last Sunday, almost three months ago after Typhoon Haiyan, I was requested to return to Tacloban and prepare for a visit from World Vision Japan guests.

As the plane landed, I felt goosebumps. The experience of walking through and over the debris and bodies two days after Typhoon Haiyan was vividly returning to me. I continued to work planning the visit, but the experience was never far from me.

A day later, with a teammate, I rolled into a local eatery for a late lunch. As I ate chicken curry I looked up and caught a familiar face.

It was Patrick. He was working as a server at the small restaurant.

Photo posted on my Instagram (mai_zamora) Haiyan: Remember Patrick? He is the man we met the day after we arrived Tacloban, four days after Typhoon Haiyan. He was the man sobbing of the lost of his mother, two children and wife. He was the man we prayed over,
shared our water and biscuits. I think,
you infact prayed for him also, the time when I posted his story on social media. Almost three months after Typhoon Haiyan,
I met him today in one of the stores after a long day in the field and I'm so happy and blessed to let you know that our prayer for Patrick was answered. Thank you friends for praying with him and thank You Lord for the answered prayer

A lump swelled in my throat. He smiled widely and took a seat at our table

“By God’s grace, I found my family and they are safe. Our prayer was answered, Ma’am,” he said.

My heart sang. I was overjoyed.

I was trying to control my tears. I am amazed and still overwhelmed at how God revealed how powerful He is.

“As soon as I found them, after five days of being hungry searching for them, I knelt down and raised my hands thanking God for answering our prayer. At that time, Ma’am, I was about to give up and gave myself another three days to look for them. I was just praying that in case I couldn’t find them that they would just be safe,“ Patrick told me in the restaurant.

I asked him where his family was now living and Patrick said, “We live in a World Vision covered area and my family received relief goods from World Vision. We are very thankful to receive them. I wouldn’t have known where to look for food for my children if World Vision hadn’t help us.”

When I heard him say those words, without hesitation I asked to visit his family.

This afternoon with my colleague I visited Patrick’s home, catching him as he was hanging his children’s clothes to dry. We met four-year-old CJ and two-year-old James Patrick. We greeted his wife Ana Rose who just came from washing the laundry along the river, just a few meters away from their small makeshift house covered with a tarpaulin (waterproofed canvas).

His wife Ana Rose shared how they survived after Typhoon Haiyan.

“We had been hungry for almost a week. Most of the time, for days after the typhoon, my neighbours would just share a plate of rice for the four of us but of course we couldn’t eat much because our priority was for our children. We didn’t care if we are hungry as long as our children were not.

“The good thing is World Vision came and gave us relief goods with 30 kgs of rice, sardines and kitchen utensils. They gave us blankets, mosquito nets and a tarpualin that we use as our roof because our house was totally damaged by the strong winds during Typhoon Yolanda (local name of Typhoon Haiyan). We really didn’t know how we would have survived if World Vision didn’t help us. Thank you so much to all of you and to God for helping us to survive and for keeping our family complete,” Ana Rose says as she smiles while Patrick prepared lunch of CJ and James Patrick.

Tonight, hours after leaving Patrick’s home, I can feel God’s presence – even in the aftermath of the storm. Truly, God is real. God answers prayers and He never forsakes his children.

Thank you, Lord, for the answered prayers.

Patrick with his precious gems.

Haiyan: Yesterday, God led the way for me to meet Patrick again, almost three months after I first met him, then today I meet his family. Meeting his precious gems in their humble home has blessed me so much. Truly, God is real and He never forsake his children. Thank You, Lord.

Adventure: Same same but different

2014-02-03T07:01:00.001-08:00

#Tacloban, #Leyte, #Philippines

Life of an aid worker: I've been almost five years in this line of work but I guess the only skills I mastered are packing up and wearing clothes in side A and B.

My travel essentials! My bag is my mobile office and home.

There is so much to learn in the field and there is no instance that I experienced and encountered the same situation, it's just almost the same. As Vietnamese would say, "same same but different".

Cheers to everyone who can relate.

February 2, one of my favorite days.

2014-02-01T17:30:00.001-08:00

A year ago today, Papa Lando thought it was just an ordinary birthday for him - eat together at home and talk with his sisters who are in Australia over Skype, to greet him.

But when he was told that we were going out for dinner, he was somehow reluctant but still prepared for it. And as soon as he with my Mama arrived in an hotel, in our hometown, he was really in awe.

Without any idea, what was going on, he opened the door. It was dark then suddenly the lights turned on and he heard the party poppers and heard everyone singing the 'Happy Birthday' song.

His eyes dampened when he saw EVERYONE especially his sisters, nieces, nephew, brother-in-laws, whom he rarely see. The family went home to the Philippines to celebrate my Papa's 50th birthday.

He was hugged by everyone while everyone didn't stop singing the "Happy Birthday' song. My Papa Lando was teary-eyed and surprised. "Today is the best day of my life," he said.

Now, on his 51st birthday, we are not together and I'm not home but for sure he feels so blessed to know that he is loved and to have given another year after he was diagnosed with Stage 3 Colon Cancer, two years ago this year.

Happy birthday, Papa Lando. I will never turn my back on you and our family, whatever happens.

Thank you, Lord, for giving me and my siblings - Sha and John Paul- the best Papa. Thank You, Lord, for Your faithfulness to my Papa Lando and to my family.

We may not have the luxuries in life but being with our Papa (I hope it's going to be always in the next months and years) and seeing him and knowing his healthy everyday are blessings that we truly appreciate. It's the best gift my Papa and my family is receiving from You every day.

My only prayer and wish for him on his 51st birthday is for You to totally heal him. For him to be officially a cancer survivor. Amen!

Surprise! Aunty Joy, Papa Lando's younger sister welcomes him on his birthday celebration with a flower.

Sibling's love

Overwhelmed. Papa Lando is overwhelm to see everyone close to him.

Aunty Joy walks Papa Lando to his birthday cake. And another surprise awaits.

Aunty Joy introduces the next surprise covered in a red curtain.

Here comes the another surprise. Papa Lando didn't know that Aunty Chona, his younger sister, Uncle Ray and niece Christine and nephew Paul went home for his birthday.

Papa's first sight of Auntie Chona, his younger sister. He never thought Auntie Chona was coming home for his birthday. The last time they saw each other was when I graduated college, 8 years ago.

The siblings.

Papa Lando's precious gift. The Zamora's is almost complete.

Cousins with Lolo Pedring.

My ever supportive friends.

Papa Lando and my younger sibling Sha. It was a double celebration since it was also Sha's 18th birthday.

My gems!

Almost complete. Papa Lando, Aunty Chona, Lolo Pedring, Aunty Joy and Uncle Ronald. (photo from left to right.) When can they be together again in one room, in one house?

because it's their first time to celebrate a birthday together, after having their own families...

Papa Lando's gems. Notice the non-verbal gestures.

Adventure or misadventure?

2014-01-31T05:39:00.000-08:00

I've been so brave to face everything except for one thing - dealing all these gifts..

Duha ka bulan nilabay, gi pa psychiatrist ko sa among org kay basin na shuang na daw ko sa tanan naku na-agian sa linog ug bagyo ug sa dihang gi konsulta naku sa doctor, gi ignan ko sa doctor nga naa koy gift of discernment. Kanang paranormal bitaw.

Ug kaganina pag-abot naku gikan byahi gi-ignan napud ko sa akong kauban nga lala daw ko ug baba kay pirme daw naku xa mabuyagan..

Ginoo, unsa mani? Murag hinaya-hinay naman ko nimo gina pahinumduman nga kailangan na naku ni dawaton ang kamatuoran ug kailangan nakoy buhaton sumala sa imong gusto mahitabo.

Apan, Ginoo, dili pako andam.

Why I prefer to travel alone?

2014-01-26T15:22:00.001-08:00

#Boracay, #Aklan, #Philippines

Why I prefer to travel alone?

I prefer to travel alone because It's the only time that I'm one with myself, my God and nature.

I prefer to travel alone because It's the only time that I think of myself more than my family and the people I work with and help.

I prefer to travel alone because it's the only time that I don't have to be careful with friends who could betray you.

I prefer to travel alone because it's the only time I need not to think smart and be strategic.

Traveling alone is my only time to be free. The only time that I don't think of my responsibilities at work and my family. It's the only rare time that I can be a child, a child of my Lord God.

I'm a Vietnamese coffee addict

2013-12-01T21:37:00.001-08:00

Since the time I came back from Vietnam, this tumbler is more than useful.

My day is not complete without the Vietnamese iced coffee. The aroma, the taste and after taste of their coffee make it so perfect.

And for me to have it every day, Vietnamese coffee filter, condensed milk and Trung Nguyen coffee are part of my day-to-day travel essentials which are inside my bag, which serves as my mobile office and house.

Imagine this coffee with milk, Vietnamese call 'white coffee', is just 10,000 dong so in peso it's just P20.00.

My trusty tumbler.

The coffee filter and at the back are the grinded coffee and condensed milk.

Saigon in random

2013-11-26T17:04:00.001-08:00

Below are the random things I learned on my first day in Saigon. It's my first time in Saigon and I was mesmerized with it's laid-back ambiance, the food really affordable), and shopping here is really fun.

I guess my travel buddies - Eure and Vemah - agree to me as we were together learning and experiencing Saigon for four days.

Eure, in violet, and Vemah, in gray dress. They too are aid workers who have done so much for earthquake and Typhoon Haiyan survivors.

Saigon is not gender sensitive. From the place where we are staying, men and women are just in one dormitory-type room.

This is the dormitory we staying. And yes, it is really affordable and the most important thing - it's safe and clean.

The Owner advises to leave the guests' passports for safe keeping. It's different from other countries, just like in our home country - Philippines - that you need to bring it to you everywhere you go.

Bikes and motorbikes are all around the streets and even at the main roads.

Vietnamese family has at least one motorcycle.

I told you, they're all around Saigon.

There is a an affordable restaurant that has the yummiest kangkong dish sautéed with garlic. Saigon is the only place that makes me love kangkong more.

The owner of the place where we are staying advice us to be careful of our things when going out. Just like any other places, snatchers are all around the place as well. And we even witnessed how snatchers did it. Their targets are foreigners from western countries.

Some of the boutique owners would ask you to get inside their shop on barefoot.

Pho, a soup with so many veggies, is a Vietnam specialty. It become one my favorite foodies.

Vietnamese girls love to wear 'heaven/ hanging' clothes to show their 'pusod' or tummy.

Vietnamese vendors normally wear 'terno' clothes.

On a normal Saturday, locals and tourists love to party along the busy streets of Bue Vien, District 1.

With Vietnam's currency, I'm four million richer. Vietnam call their money 'dong'.

Everywhere here at Bue Vien Street has a free wifi access.

Vietnamese locals love street foods. And everyone- locals and tourists- eat just along the streets.

With my travel buddies - Vemah, Kuya Jhun and Majo- enjoying our favorite Banh Mi. It's a bread with vegetables and meat.

My name 'Mai' is so common here and it is a name of a famous Vietnamese flower.

This is the flower Mai famous in Vietnam.

Know more of my Saigon experience with my awesome buddies on my next blog.

Their version of pancake. Inside it are shrimps and veggies.


Notre Dame Cathedral in Saigon. Vietnam has so many parks. And all the trees are numbered.

Vemah with the paintings on her background done by Vietnamese artist.

Holland village in Vietnam Park. This place was filled with Holland goodies, artworks and flowers.

We really had a blast in Saigon. We won't plan to go back there if we didn't enjoy it.

Note: All photos were taken using my mobile phone.

I'm a child of a father with cancer

2013-10-06T05:21:00.001-07:00

I dare to post this photo to signify my sympathy to those women who are in pain struggling of breast cancer and those family members who live in fear, afraid that one day the woman/ man they love dearly will be away from them forever (on a worldly context though. Worldly because I believe in eternity with my God who may also be your God.)

I am this emotional when talking about cancer because I'm a child of a father diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. I have my share of heartbreaking stories as I used not to accept the fact that the man closest to me has cancer. I had my share of grief when I found out that my Papa Lando has cancer.

I experienced denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. I had been to all those stages, of course journeying with family, not just once but I experienced the entire stages for a couple of times since the time my Papa Lando was diagnosed with the disease March of 2012.

And as of this writing, I guess I already accepted that my Papa has cancer. He is under medication through alternative medicine and as of September this year,
the doctor said that he is already on safe zone and we are looking forward and still praying for him to be cancer-free.

Again, I'm one with all women,
and men, who are suffering from cancer,
all those family members who has/have loved ones suffering from cancer and even those family members that miss their loved ones who departed because of cancer.

And to those who have loved ones with cancer, like me, let's have faith that God heals those who seek to be healed. Let's keep fighting for them. Please know and remember that they draw strength from us. They continue to fight against cancer because they know they're loved.

In felt that from my Papa Lando and I believe he has that good fighting spirit because he knows he is loved by his wife, son, daughters, sisters, in-laws, nieces, nephews, cousins, even our neighbors, family friends and my workmates who continuously pray for him all the time, and of course he knows that God loves him dearly.

Note: If you are with me and if you know someone who has the same challenges, I don't mind if you share this. I hope this blog inspires others to hold on and continue fighting, for the sake of the people we love.

Adventure: T'was a pink ribbon and little card

2013-10-03T01:04:00.001-07:00

Aside from Children's Month, #October is also a Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

And to join other breast cancer advocates,who help to make people aware of the disease, we wrote words of encouragement on a pink paper to people who are diagnosed with cancer.

My friend and workmate Eure and I went to a mall this evening and saw a bald woman singing on stage, of course we were intrigued why is she bald,
so we decided to get closer and it was then we found out that it was a breast cancer awareness event.

And as a sign of support for the cause, we joined the others in writing words of encouragement to cancer patients and hanged it on a big ribbon standee.

I did it without hesitation, even if we were not invited, because i know how it feels to have someone in the family who has cancer.

I'm an eldest daughter of a father who has colon cancer stage three. (And you know how it is to be an eldest daughter and a breadwinner of the family, in the Philippine context) My Papa Lando was diagnosed with cancer March 2012. And after more than a year the entire family is claiming that he is totally cancer-free, laboratory results and the doctor said that the cancer cells reduced significantly. Thank you, Lord, for the answered prayers and for my friends, workmates and family who were and still with us as the entire family, in one, battled for my papa's cancer.

With the journey/ season experienced, I learned to trust God, and with it I realised that a member of a family with such sickness, whom you loved dearly, needs all out support for them not to let go and for them to fight against the sickness.

That's why I'm personally one with all those people who are fighting against cancer - either the person who has cancer or the family member worrying about a loved one who has cancer.

Saying a little prayer and words of encouragement from you means a lot to those who are fighting against breast, colon or any other cancer diseases. p

Misadventure: Confined!

2013-09-26T19:19:00.001-07:00

Day 5! My left hand is getting painful each day especially if the nurse injects fluids on the dextrose, which happens three times a day.

Imagine anticipating for a bee sting three times a day and that's for five days,
that's how it feels. And other than that you have to wake up, at four in the morning, because the nurse gets in and he has to get blood sample. (And of course being away from your family if your sick is another story. I have been monitoring my parents who are in Manila for a three-day check-up but they don't have any idea that I am talking with them while I'm in the hospital.)

I'm just glad my tolerance has not yet taking its toll. Thank you to Apo Whang-od for preparing me to this. Being inked by her is still the most painful I ever experienced. Nothing can beat that.

Life of a facilitator: Blooper-blooper din pag may time!

2013-08-24T09:33:00.000-07:00

Me sharing to the participants the importance of verifying the information through a triangular method, a method where you identify and interview those people close to your interviewee.

Life of a facilitator: It's always a struggle for facilitators to keep the participants awake and attentive especially when the slot given is in the afternoon, when everyone is tired to listen and sleepy.

Here is my share of blooper:

I was sharing to health and nutrition and economic development staff and practitioners about practical tips on capturing stories.

In one of the tips I shared, I was relating it to showbiz personality to catch their attention since they started getting sleepy. I can't remember the specific thought I said but in gist I told the participants that I used to like Daniel Padilla,to the point that I was consuming my entire day watching him on Youtube and following him on Twitter. But what came out from my mouth was the name of Dennis Padilla, an old divorced comedian.

And everyone was laughing out loud, then a doctor said, "Ka-edad mo gali si Dennis Padilla,
Mai?"
What an embarrassment but listening to their laughter relieved me. At least, I knew they were listening. Still, yesterday was a mission accomplished!

Reminder to self: To trust in the flow of life!

2013-06-30T20:02:00.001-07:00

Reminder to self: Keep on mind to be mindful of your attitude towards the most challenging season you are experiencing.. Think of the bright side and don't forget to have the positive attitude, always.

Here is another reminder for you, Mai:

'Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have the Lord their hope and confidence.

They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water.

Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought.

Their leaves stay green, and they go right on producing delicious fruit.' - Jeremiah 17: 7-6

A place whom I consider paradise- Agusan Marsh. It's a crocodile-infested marsh, the place I can't forget in my lifetime. The place where I almost lost my life, along with my workmates as we were responding to Typhoon Pablo survivors, when our boat capsized.

The first sunlight I saw when I was deployed in Agusan del Sur last December, to respond to Typhoon Pablo which brought so much devastation including thousands of lives.

It's how you respond to the season is what matters most. Let go of the worries and trust Him, trust the flow of life. Taken in Lake Sebu, in one of the seven falls.