Maia Jose's Cafe Romanza: On Dating, Relationships and Love

Awaiting Chuck Bass & Blair Waldorf Romance on New Season of Gossip Girl

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 11:23:00 +0000

Theirs is a tumultuous love affair and we love to hate their characters but we love them nevertheless. That's Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf in Gossip Girl.

The season ended with them back in each other's arms and we can't wait to see what unfolds in the new season.

These characters prove that even the most jaded and self-centered people are not immune to the power of love.

On Dating, Relationships and Love: Beyond Chocolates and Roses

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 08:15:00 +0000

Below is an article I wrote for the February 2009 Valentine issue of Sense & Style Magazine, Philippines.

Do grab a copy, please, if you still can

Beyond Chocolates and Roses

What’s the best thing my husband ever did for me on Valentine’s Day? Treat it just like any day of the year, that’s what. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

In lieu of one day with fancy chocolates and expensive roses, a candle-lit dinner and perhaps some sparkly gift, I get day after day of spontaneous hugs and kisses, solicitous checks on whether I’ve already eaten and whether I’ve had my requisite coffee, gallant chauffeur service (which means I’m sleeping with my driver, hmmm…), neck rubs and back rubs that somehow make the scent of mentholated oils seem sensuous, unlimited talk time at all hours anywhere and everywhere (we never seem to run out of things to talk about), a never-ending supply of corny jokes, and lots and lots of giggles and guffaws.

Not that I begrudge other couples that elaborate Valentine’s celebration – there’s nothing wrong with going through the works, as long as all the other days of the year are covered, as well. We’ve just never focused on that one day of the year as very different from all the others. We did try once or twice to go out and have dinner on that night – with all three kids, of course – and the horrible traffic and crowded restaurants reminded us that we were having more fun when pigging out in the comfort of our home. (Yes, this is a family that loves to eat.)

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not against romance. In fact, I live and breathe romance and have even been writing romance novels since 1991. Great romance for me, though, is not about grand gestures but, rather, the faithful accumulation of loving moments. It’s in the nitty-gritty of being in love and growing in that love while living each and every day together.

Romance novels usually focus on the early stages of falling in love because that is often believed to be the best part of romance. They say it’s the most thrilling and the most passionate. Publishers believe that readers may not be very much interested in romance novels about long-term relationships that have somehow settled into a comfortable rhythm. But does long-term love really mean the death of romance? Do you lose the thrill and the passion when you commit yourselves to the long haul? It doesn’t have to be so.

Keeping the fire of passion burning doesn’t have to be an effort, either. It all depends on what lit that fire in the first place. If it was just lust based on looks or seduced by success, the waning of the point of attraction may, indeed, trigger the cooling of ardor, as well. Then the great plod begins in the name of commitment. On the other hand, passion that stems from a deep love that, in turn, grew from genuine friendship can only burn brighter and stronger with time. It can never get bored because it always nurtures continuous growth and a deeper knowing of each other. It sees sexy in a potbelly, in each added line and wrinkle, in every inch gained or lost. It binds a couple even closer in times of adversity, giving comfort and strength.

So it’s really all about love. Good old fashioned true love. Maybe the problem is that many people mistake lust for love; or awe for love; or mutual satisfaction for love. Actually, I think friendship is the closest thing to love there is. True friendship, like true love, accepts the entirety of the person while nurturing positive growth and transformation. True friendship, like true love, stays and grows stronger through good times and bad. True friendship, like true love, is unselfish and unconditional. Both offer voluntary commitment effortlessly. True love, I believe, can exist only with a foundation of true friendship. The only difference is a deep passion exclusive to each other. True love never loses passion and romance.

But my man is not romantic, some women say. I know he loves me but he knows nothing about romance, they complain. I ask: what does romance mean to you? What do you see as romantic? Perhaps you expect flowers and gifts and don’t recognize the seemingly ordinary little things he does just for you? Or maybe he just needs a nudge in the right direction – show him the way by giving him unexpected hugs and kisses during the day, or sending him sweet sexy text messages, but don’t expect the exact same gestures back if it’s just not his thing. Allow him his own expressions of love for you. Everything done with love becomes romantic. How does he love you? Try to count the ways. Recognize and appreciate them. Savor them.

High romance for me is every hearty laugh my husband and I share with each other and with our three kids. High romance for me was having my husband at my side in the most difficult times of my life, when my parents got very sick and passed away within a year of each other in 2006 and 2007. High romance for me was having the courage to face the raw pain safe in his arms.

You’ll know you truly love a person when he or she is the one you want to be with in both the happiest times and the most painful times of your life. When happiness doesn’t seem to be complete unless shared with him or her. When just being with him or her gives you the most comfort in moments of crisis. And in between those extremes you’ll find that every single day becomes extraordinary when you are with that person.

When you truly love a person, the initial thrill and passion doesn’t wane at all. In fact, as time passes it is heightened even more by your shared experiences. Each day validates your relationship. As love deepens, your desire for each other grows. This is why we still see senior citizens happily holding hands while walking through the mall, or gazing lovingly at each other’s eyes over decaf coffee and sugar-free dessert. I, myself, still sigh and swoon over my husband of 23 years. Our kids and friends can attest to this. And I can attest to the fact that I can still put a naughty twinkle in his eye. Love, passion and romance has no expiration date.

Valentine’s Day honors love. So go on, if you must, have that elegant dinner date, give that special gift. Remember, though, that what deserves celebration is true love that is ageless and timeless, and let it be celebrated with no less fervor each and every day of the year.

Love and Light for 2009!

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 10:47:00 +0000

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In the midst of a worldwide crisis, I still believe only one thing can hold us all together - and of course that's love!

Come what may, let's hold on to our loved ones and find joy in every moment with each other. That will be our strength and our power.

Love and light, everyone!!!

Earn Online for Your Sweetie at Paydotcom

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 08:45:00 +0000

So you want to save up for that special gift you want to give your sweetie? Step up your earning program by joining Paydotcom.

Paydotcom is my recommended alternative to Clickbank, especially for countries like the Philippines which seems to be discriminated against by the latter. Well, we no longer have to wait and feel left out. We can start earning from Paydotcom!

Join Paydotcom for free and promote its many products as an affiliate.You can use your blog, your website, your email (but don't spam!) or even your family members' blogs, with their permission, of course. You will receive your earnings through Paypal or by check.

Paypal is already available in the Philippines and you can sign up for a free personal account. You can also get a very affordable Paypal Merchant Account if you want to sell something from your site.

So check out Paydotcom right now!

You may also want to check out the following income earning opportunity:

Meet New Friends & Earn at Yuwie

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 17:50:00 +0000

So you enjoy meeting people and making new friends? You can do this and earn, too, at Yuwie!

I suppose you're familiar with Friendster, Multiply, MySpace and all other social networking sites. You're probably active in one or more of them. Unless you have an online store at Multiply, though, you're not earning anything from all the time you spend at these sites.

How about if I tell you that Yuwie offers all the fun that those sites offer and pays you for joining? Yes, you don't shell out anything. You just register at Yuwie for free, set up your page, get a blog - which you may or may not use - and you get paid for every page view your page gets, including your own visits!

When you invite others to join Yuwie, you earn even more because you get paid for the page views of your referrals, as well, up to ten levels down.

I joined Yuwie sometime in February. Since earnings are calculated at the end of the month, I got one cent. I was already ecstatic because I didn't do anything yet except join and write about it in one or two of my other blogs. I only had 184 page views.

I knew I was on to something, though, because that was also how I started in Adsense - with cents. Eventually, they built up to paychecks.

The multiplier effect of Yuwie has already been working for me. Since that one cent at the end of February, I have gained 16 people downline: 4 at level 1, 6 at level 2 and 6 at level 3. That means the four people who signed up under me now have six people under them who, in turn, signed up six people, too.

In that time, my page only had 105 page views. I already have 4,608 page views combined from my downline's pages, though, and will be earning from them, too. Great huh?

Just think of how much visiting is being done in social networking sites. Now imagine if you can plug into that and earn from it.

It's so easy. Just register at Yuwie and write about it at your blog. Don't forget to use your referral URL in your link! Add it in your email signature. That will start your ball rolling.

And then you can just relax and enjoy Yuwie as a social networking site. You never know who you're going to meet there!

Good luck!!!

Writing Filipino Romance Novels: A Video Interview

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 09:41:00 +0000

Two high seniors from the Ateneo de Manila asked for an interview for their English class project, S.O.F.A. or Spotlight on Filipino Authors. You can watch the video at maiajose.multiply.com.

I am always glad to speak on popular media in general and the writing of Filipino romance novels in particular, especially to students. I was sure that Jules and Carl were clueless on the kind of novels I write. They are, after all, teenaged boys who wouldn't be caught dead with any romance novel, Filipino or otherwise. I believe, though, that I was able to at least give them a peek into how Filipino romance novels can be a medium for quality entertainment that contributes positively to the readers' lives.

The video also reminded me that it's time for a serious diet and exercise regimen :-D

Happy Holidays

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 05:11:00 +0000

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!!! :D

Neil Gaiman in A Real Life Romance

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 04:45:00 +0000

Yes, Neil Gaiman was in Manila in November and no, I don't have a pic with my favorite speculative fiction author but I have the next best thing - that's my eldest daughter in the pic with him, and she got a real hug, too. She was a student observer at the Ad Congress in Subic where he was a speaker and she lined up again for his reading and book signing the following day.

And what romance am I talking about? Well, I heard it from Mr. Gaiman himself when the entire family trooped to see him at Fully Booked at Bonifacio High Street where he awarded the winners to the 2nd Philippine Graphic/Fiction Awards (cash prizes from Neil Gaiman's own pockets!). He said the strangest thing that happened to him in Subic was when he helped someone propose marriage to his girlfriend right there at the book signing. Can you imagine being such a Neil Gaiman fan and then having Neil Gaiman himself write in your book: "(your name), will you marry (your boyfriend's name)"? I would have fainted on the spot!!! But that's exactly what Mr. Gaiman did for Jason and Maui. And Neil himself wrote in his blog that it was the best part of his Philippine trip! Aw, I told you he was a romantic. I knew it ever since I read Stardust many, many years ago. And I continue to find romance in many of his work.

I'm still giddy from having been in the presence of THE Neil Gaiman. But like he said in his blog, back to work. I now have to translate the inspiration into my own stories. After all, he wrote in our copy of Fragile Things:

For the San Diegos - Keep writing! Keep making stuff up!

And he drew a heart! Awwww...

Read My Romance Novel, Bukal Sa Dibdib, For Free Online

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 14:37:00 +0000

It was good to see an article on my breastfeeding advocacy romance novel, Bukal Sa Dibdib, in the Philippine Daily Inquirer last Saturday.

I also received good news that it is now in its second printing in pocketbook format. Commissioned by the Philippine Department of Health, the World Health Organization and the United Nations Fund for Population Activities, the novel is still being distributed for free in Philippine communities. I hope that they continue reprinting until all communities are saturated nationwide and that all who read it will feel the importance of breastfeeding not only for mother and child but for entire families.

Even more good news. You can now read Bukal Sa Dibdib for free online. So what are you waiting for? :D

Filipino Romance Novel Advocating Breastfeeding Distributed by WHO and Philippine DOH

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Sat, 22 Sep 2007 04:41:00 +0000

I am thrilled that my novel, "Bukal Sa Dibdib", sponsored by the Philippine Department of Health, the World Health Organization and the United Nations Fund for Population Activities, has already been printed and is now being distributed for free in communities.

There are already a lot of materials on the benefits of exclusive breastfeeding up to six months and tips on how to successfully breastfeed. The novel is not a manual or a brochure. It is, rather, a love story that highlights how breastfeeding is a beautiful part of parenting and family life, and how it further strengthens the bond between couples. I'm hoping that the emotional impact of the novel on readers will help raise awareness on how breastfeeding is such a miraculous gift that no one should ever refuse or take for granted.

See You at the 28th Manila International Book Fair

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 02:35:00 +0000

Avid readers of romance novels and other genres will surely troop to the 28th International Manila Book Fair at the World Trade Center at Roxas Boulevard until September 2.

I'd like to invite you, as well, to join us for a discussion on Ang Bagong Panitikan (New and Emergent Literatures) on Sept. 2 at 2:15 pm, Function Room B.

The forum is organized by Read or Die - "a group of book lovers and readers whose goal is to help invigorate book reading culture in the Philippines through monthly discussions, sponsored talks on reading and literature, establishing social networks with other like-minded organizations, and the advocacy of programs specifically aimed towards promoting literacy and maintaining a high profile for reading for purpose and for pleasure." They "encourage public interest in and and appreciation for different kinds of literature, especially writing produced by Filipino authors."

I will be discussing Filipino romance novels, joining fellow writers in the panel: Eugene Evasco on Filipino children's literature, Carla M. Pacis on Filipino young adult fiction, Winton Lou Ynion on Filipino literature in the vernacular, Randy Valiente on komiks, and Glady E. Gimena - a very good friend of mine - also on Filipino romance novels. I expect it to be a fun session.

Visit Read or Die's special website - Ang Bagong Libro - covering its extensive participation in the 28th Manila International Book Fair and check out their various activities and skeds to further enrich your Book Fair experience.

Awww...Another Inspirational Blogger Award

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 15:50:00 +0000

Please let me thank Emmyrose of Just Let Go for giving me this Inspirational Blogger Award - my second.

She said:

"Maia Jose of Manila Mom: the first time she visited my blog and commented she accidentally typed a wrong name but I'm glad because she promised that she'll never forget my name again and she has been a regular reader and her comments never fails to make me smile. I have always wanted to be a writer but I don't really have that drive to pursue that dream but after meeting her, that dream of mine came alive and I started writing again, and maybe someday I will make the dream of writing and publishing my own book come true."

I decided to again put the award here at Cafe Romanza instead of at my Manila Mom blog because it was given to me for my romance writer persona. I am always honored when I am able to inspire others to actualize their love for writing and to go forward into having their work published. I hope to one day read your books, too, Emmyrose!

Actually, I believe that Emmyrose herself is more deserving of the award. The only reason I did not give it to her before was because she was my co-awardee when Sasha first gave me the award. Come to think of it - that shouldn't have stopped me from giving it to her again!

Emmyrose inspires me as she courageously faces Lupus - an invisible auto-immune disease. She writes to let people know about the disease and to encourage others who are also battling it. In fact, I was inspired enough to create my own blog about Chronic Headaches, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome which I and two of my kids are trying to overcome.

So please do not begrudge me the honor of giving her the same award, too. This is not a matter of quid pro quo. This award is really merited.

I, therefore, give the Inspirational Blogger Award to:

Emmyrose and her newest blog about Lupus, Dancing With Butterflies

Sandy of Pinoynetwork Blog: As a Filipina in Canada, she steadfastly embodies the courage and determination of our countrymen in facing all challenges in order to build a new life in a new environment. Her PinoyNetwork.org aims to unite and inspire Filipinos in Canada and elsewhere around the world.

Novice Blogger of The Broken Bow: Read the reason for his blog title, it shows how he can get inspiration from misfortune. His latest post shows the same spirit, too.

Nicholas of Six Degrees of Inspiration Connected By Inspiration: The blog title itself says it all, and he lives up to it, too, by being able to inspire despite having just gone through a breakup.

KRG of FILAM Personal Finance: He has pulled himself up through many struggles and writes to share the lessons he has learned in life.

Once again, thanks to Christy of Writer's Reviews for creating these Blogger Awards.

The Best Compliment a Writer Can Get

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 06:23:00 +0000

Sasha says: "Manila Mom is Maia Jose in Philippine romance novels, the one I’ve been reading and got me inspired to write my own novels."

Sasha awarded me the "Inspirational Blog Award" for the following reason:

"For inspiring me with your stories. She has been through a lot lately, her mom passing away after a long battle with sickness. But still, she came out stronger and her faith intact. She never forgets to inlcude me in her love tags and for that I am thankful. Everytime I see you visiting, I finish a chapter."

Thank you very, very much, Sashing! The best compliment a writer can get is when a reader gets inspired enough by her novels to want to write, too - and it's even more fulfilling when the reader does exactly that. This is why I will always want to promote my readers' novels when they become writers themselves.

I'm so proud of you! Now you really have to let me know the titles of your novels so I can go get my copies and promote them here, too!

Now I get to give five Inspirational Blogger Awards to five other deserving bloggers, as stated in the rules of the Blogger Awards created by Christy of Writer's Reviews.

This award is:

"For those bloggers who inspire others through their words and actions. With a positive attitude, and an uplifting spirit these bloggers make the blogosphere a better place, and encourage others to do the same. This award is for bloggers who rise up to set an example but continue to reach out and support others."

Opal of Vegan Momma: I am always inspired by her healthy vegan recipes and lifestyle. It's something I want to slowly ease into myself, if not completely then at least partially. (I know, it's not possible to be partially vegan - I just mean having vegan days at least.) Lately, I've been inspired by Opal's income generation through her blog, too.

Mec of Crazy, Happy Arevalos: Ah, another couple still crazy in love with each other. Looks like they'll still be crazy in love through chilbirth, child rearing and on to retirement. We need couples like this to prove to the world that, yes, true love exists and happy ever after doesn't just happen in fairy tales.

Gibo of Quick and Random: He writes about how his family faces the challenges of early intervention for autism with their son - handsome Roan. His blog is touching and heartwarming. He also writes about various social concerns.

Meeya of Confessions of a Domesticated Party Girl: This self-confessed stage mom blogs about their daily life with their daughter WonderNinna. This pretty, cuddly, lovable toddler will wow you with her IQ! How this mom further develops her daughter's awesome potential is very inspiring indeed.

Cynthia Blue of Luna Tail: Cynthia is battling Social Anxiety and General Anxiety and still finds time, energy and enough emotional resources to do collie rescue. Reading her blog inspires me to face my own health battles while remembering that it's not just all about me and that I will always have enough resources to reach out to others - both human and animals - if I want to.

Even just writing this post is inspiring :D

Don't Let the Busy-ness of Daily Life Ruin Romance

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 02:28:00 +0000

Married couples, especially with kids, are only all too familar with this - how the hectic pace of daily life can erase romance. It need not be so.

Sure, you're both exhausted and often irritable. Tempers flare at the smallest cause of friction. Or even worse, lack of time to unwind leads to indifference. No more talking other than coordinating schedules - who will pick up this child or that, who will do this chore or that.

If you allow this scenario to take over your marriage, you will find yourselves becoming strangers to each other. Yes, it may take years before you realize this but by then it may be too late.

How many retired couples find themselves having the luxury of being together the whole day only to realize that they couldn't think of anything to talk about? Or that they could no longer enjoy each other's company? They have grown too far apart through the years, only held together by the things-to-do for the kids and the household.

If you have married someone then you must have loved each other much - assuming, of course, that it's a love match. That love deserves to be protected and nurtured, not neglected and left to die.

It's not that difficult to keep romance and love alive and thriving. You don't have to abandon the things you need to do everyday, either. Simple eye contact with a meaningful smile that the two of you understand works wonders. A tight hug and a whispered endearment to go with the usual peck on the cheek before leaving the house will give both of you reason to smile for the rest of the day. A text message with a private joke. A short phone call or email. The point is to keep that intimate connection.

As the day unfolds, we each encounter moments we want to tell someone about. Reserve that for your spouse, and be involved in his/her accounts, as well. I read somewhere that one of the roles of a spouse is to bear witness to your partner's life - this covers his/her triumphs and disappointments, joys and sorrows. Share. Communicate.

We will always be busy, at least until retirement or even then. This does not mean there's no time or room for romance and love in every 24 hours. Let's make each day count.

The Filipina Bride Overseas - Not Necessarily A Mail Order Bride

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 05:46:00 +0000

What is a mail order bride?

The mail order bride practice is not as new as the internet. As early as the 18th century, men and women from various parts of the globe have been marrying through the system. In the olden days, women - mostly impoverished - would have their names listed in catalogues from which men who desired brides would choose. The women were then sent for to come to the groom's home to get married. In more modern days before the internet, there were pen pal catalogues.

It is true that many Filipinas have joined pen pal catalogues and the newer websites designed to foster global friendships and the development of romantic relationships. It is also true that quite a number of Filipinas do so in the hopes of marrying to improve their future financially. It's not a good reason to get married or even start a relationship, true - and these women often fall prey to websites who sell their names, addresses, personal info and photos in very undesirable terms, presenting them as sex objects, docile wives-to-be and desperate maidens waiting to be rescued from poverty. Just imagine the expectations of a man who chooses a future wife based on such recommendations. Imagine the married life that a mail order bride from such lists can look forward to.

Many Filipinas who join such websites have no idea about the risk they are taking. Many of them are very young, live sheltered lives in the provinces and have only heard stories of townmates who have gone abroad to marry and live a life of luxury. There is a real need to warn them of the danger they are putting themselves in.

On the other hand, not all Filipinas who desire non-Filipino husbands are mail order brides, nor do they want it for financial reasons. Geri wrote "Confessions of a Filipina Internet Bride" in her blog, Thoughts on Transitions.

Like Geri, there are Filipinas who know what they want in a husband and are willing to look for him online not as a mail order bride asking to be rescued from anything but as an empowered woman seeking to meet a man on equal terms.

Like Geri, these Filipinas are educated, well-informed, intelligent and discerning. They will not fall for just any online Romeo. They view the internet just as one of the many means to glean genuine character, and do not rely solely on internet communication, too.

The downside is that because of the proliferation of unscrupulous mail order bride and online dating sites, genuine global relationships are cast in a bad light and women like Geri often find themselves stigmatized.

Geri is lucky at not having met much of this kind of discrimination in her life in Chicago. Ironically, she says she has found more of "that guarded look and assumption that I was a mail order bride" from fellow Filipinos who are not married to non-Filipinos.

It is time that we put aside wrong assumptions, misconceptions and judgments.

The campaign to change the image of the Filipina online was never meant to put down Filipinas married to non-Filipinos, or Filipinas who have found real relationships through the internet.

It also does not mean that we see ourselves as "better than" fellow Filipinas who may be listed in dating sites. If anything else, I personally would only want to warn them of the risks involved if the sites they are listed in are of the unscrupulous type. Please be very careful in choosing the sites you join.

I am, however, unconditionally against websites portraying Filipinas as desperate brides-to-be seeking to be rescued from poverty via marriage to a foreigner. (Do not even consider here outright smut sites.) These websites blatantly exploit the vulnerability of the women they list and expose them to a marriage based on distorted values and expectations.

Hopefully, we can all maximize the internet also as a venue to confront these issues.

Sick and Pampered

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 11:07:00 +0000

I haven't been able to post these past days, friends, because I've been down with another episode of chronic headaches, fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. That means feeling like you've got the worst kind of flu without the fever, and it lasts days. Argh!

I'm lucky that B is his usual sweet self and has been pampering me. A home massage from the hubby can really be oh-so-romantic, even if I reek of Efficascent Oil. (If you haven't heard of this Philippine staple, it smells like BenGay.) That he can still make amorous remarks despite that proves that it's true love, indeed ;D

Sexy Filipinas - Including Sexy Filipina Moms - Stand Up and Be Counted

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 06:44:00 +0000

A zealot attacked my friend, Sexy Mom, via an anonymous comment saying her moniker is a disgrace to all Filipinas. The same person sent practically the same message to the blogs of Sexy Mom's sons. He or she used different pseudonyms, among them, "decent mother." No blog or website was linked to any of the comments, just different email addresses that are so easy to set up and discard.

Here's the comment sent to Sexy Mom:

"You are a disgrace to the Filipino women. We have been trying to change the image of the Filipino women in the internet. Foreigners type “filipina” to search for women to have sex. The same kind of people (pedophiles and perverts) type “sexy mom” and it points to You . You are an embarassment to our country. Stop using SEXY MOM. Filipino mothers are loving caring mothers. Leave the SEX part in your bedroom . Mommy bloggers laugh behind your back because of your pseudonym. Filipino women are too polite to tell you to say that using sexy mom is killing the filipino women."

Sexy Mom's son, BA, replied in a post in his blog, also quoted in his mother's post. He narrated how he and his siblings themselves started the whole naming game by telling her she was "the sexiest mommy of all" whenever she would ask them if she was fat.

This story goes straight to every mother's heart. I'm sure you've heard the same from your kids. I do, almost everyday, and especially when they know my spirits are flagging or I feel blah! It doesn't matter what shape or size you really are. It just shows how much your children love you, and reflects how lovingly they have been raised, too. As I said in my comment to BA's post, how much more wholesome can you get?

The comment backfired. Dine - aka Sexy Mom - did not even have to say anything in self-defense. Blog readers of both BA's blog and her blog tore the comment's accusations to pieces. Of course, since there is nothing there that makes sense.

1. If perverts search "sexy mom" and find Dine's blog, The D Spot, then the blog itself will prove to them that a Sexy Filipina Mom is not necessarily a sordid purveyor of commercial sex. This particular one - Dine Racoma - is an intelligent articulate blogger who has raised seven equally intelligent and articulate children, and now has much to say about parenting, womanhood, blogging, and many other respectable subjects of interest. Therefore, Sexy Mom's having those keywords and hitting top places in those searches actually does the Filipina's image a lot of good!

2. "Filipino mothers are loving caring mothers." So true. But that does not mean they cannot be sexy loving, caring mothers. Those concepts are not mutually exclusive. "Sexy" is not necessarily a dirty word. Why can't a mother be a sensual person, too? Sex is also not a dirty word or a dirty deed. Everything is contextual. How sad for those people who still cling to old paradigms fearing and demonizing everything related to sex and the body.

3. "Mommy bloggers laugh behind your back because of your pseudonym." I'm a Mommy blogger and I laud Sexy Mom for being a woman fulfilled who continues to learn and grow with the world. I applaud her for being a woman confident enough to call herself sexy - as indeed she is, because a woman's intelligence, accomplishments, kindness, sincerity and warmth ARE sexy! Also a woman's being comfortable with all aspects of herself - intellectually, emotionally, spiritually and physically.

Bloggers ARE, indeed, laughing now. They are laughing at this person hiding behind the pseudonym "decent mother." There was nothing decent in what she had to say.

This incident led another Filipina Blogger Mom, Angelic Mom - or Noemi Dado - of Touched By An Angel, to call fellow bloggers' attention to reshaping the Filipina woman's image online.

She points us to the various efforts toward this goal, among them:

- Marc Macalua’s Filipina and Philippines SEO campaign where he suggests pasting the following links to your blogs:

Philippines
Filipina

so that a search for "Philippines" will show the Department of Tourism website while a search for "Filipina" will show the Gabriela website (Gabriela is a Philippine women's rights organization);

- "the US-based Filipina Women’s Network that seeks to find better ways to elevate the Filipina woman’s image and help them go the next level of leadership in their chosen field of endeavor..."; and

- the Fabulous Filipina Presence which "aims to interlink with as many other Filipina sites and also to use the devices of the Internet such as search engines to achieve online a higher quality and more complete picture of who Filipinas are."

Marc Macalua's efforts, begun in 2004, seems to have gained some momentum already. A search for "Philippines" now shows the Philippine Department of Tourism on top of the page and other respectable links on the rest of the first page. A search for "Filipina," however, still shows mostly matchmaking sites.

Fabulous Filipina Presence has the following proposal: Place the words "="filipina, filipinas, philippine women, philipina, pilipina, pinay, babae, filipino women, filipino woman" in the meta tags of your site homepage, blog, company/org site or personal pages, and in the many webpages that you manage.

I like this last suggestion. Not that I have anything against Gabriela. I respect and support the organization, and have myself been an activist in college. We wouldn't want Gabriela to stand alone in the search results surrounded by matchmaking sites, though. It would look like Filipinas are only either looking to get married to a foreigner, or are activists. And we know how some people have a kneejerk response against any form of activism.

Having a multitude of sites and blogs by Filipinas and on Filipinas - showing the variety of talented, intelligent, genuinely decent, progressive-minded women we have - would present a more realistic view of Filipina womanhood.

So let's all put in those keywords in our blogs: filipina, filipinas, philippine women, philipina, pilipina, pinay, babae, filipino women, filipino woman.

Hey, why not even add Sexy Filipina and, if it applies, Sexy Filipina Mom or Sexy Filipina Aunt or Sexy Filipina Grandma, and hopefully join the original Filipina Sexy Mom. Let the world know that Filipinas are, indeed, sexy and that being sexy does not necessarily have anything to do with sordid commercial sex.

Filipinas are sexy because we are strong, intelligent, capable, forward-thinking, courageous, confident, dignified, sincere, caring and loving. We know ourselves and are comfortable with ourselves.

So all you sexy Filipinas - sexy Filipina Moms included - please stand up and be counted!

Fellow bloggers who have posted on this, too:

Yes, Filipinas Are Sexy
A Closure, A New Beginning–Reshaping the Online and Sexy Filipina ...
Posting a comment is not enough…Blog about it!
Let's bring sexy and Filipina back
Filipina2007
The attack on Sexy Mom: False feminism, if there is such a thing (as feminism)
What Filipina Should Mean Online
My Sexy Mom
Who's Afraid of the Sexy Filipina?
Campaign Redefines the Sexy Filipina
I Am A Sexy Filipina Mom
Looking For Sexy Filipinas?
The Filipina Bride Overseas - Not Necessarily A Mail Order Bride

Link Love Time: The MyBlogLog Community Exchange

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Sun, 24 Jun 2007 18:00:00 +0000

Please pardon another intrusion into our normal programming, friends. It's time again for an exercise in link love. (The latest installment of our free romance novel is right below this post :D)

Garry Conn, one of my best sources of succesful blogging tips, has created the MyBlogLog Community Exchange.

I have always been a fan of MyBlogLog. I think it is one of the best social networking sites online. Of course, I have been a member since I started blogging.

There are still so many blogs to discover and so many blog communities to join at MBL, though, and the Exchange can help us with that.

Hosting the MyBlogLog Community Exchange will bring you new readers and new backlinks. Make the most of this by visiting your new friends' blogs in return. Make time to establish real blog relationships by engaging in meaningful discussions through comments.

The rules are simple:

1. Join all of the MyBlogLog communities on the list below.
2. Copy the list and paste in on a new post on your blog.
3. Write a brief paragraph above the list to explain the game.
4. Add 2 or 3 more MyBlogLog communities to the list and publish the post.
5. To be added to this list, leave a comment below, including the url of your post.

The MyBlogLog Community Exchange List:

Successful Blogging Tips Join MyBlogLog
Make Money Online Join MyBlogLog
Kyle’s Cove dot Com Join MyBlogLog
GoldCoaster Join MyBlogLog
Affiliate Programs Join MyBlogLog
The Junky’s Wife Join MyBlogLog
GoldyWorld Join MyBlogLog
BetShopBoy Join MyBlogLog
IndiaPRBlog Join MyBlogLog
ShanKri-la Join MyBlogLog
HomeMom3 Join MyBlogLog
Ryan Shamus Join MyBlogLog
Kassper Join MyBlogLog
Punto Fape Join MyBlogLog
Earn Money on the Web Join MyBlogLog
Making Money Through Internet Join MyBlogLog
Chronic Headache, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Join MyBlogLog
Free Stuff Join MyBlogLog
House Hunting Join MyBlogLog
Hot Buzz Join MyBlogLog
Earn Online Join MyBlogLog
Ageless Beauty Join MyBlogLog
Philippine Trip Join MyBlogLog
Filipino Author Join MyBlogLog
Filipino Family Join MyBlogLog
Filipino Community Join MyBlogLog
Manila Mom Join MyBlogLog
Pinoy Network Join MyBloglog
Blog Corner JoinMybloglog
SFtopics Join MyBlogLog
AnitoKid JoinMyBlogLog
Up the Hill Gang Join MyBlogLog
Who Let the Dog Out Join MyBlogLog

Start clicking!

Related Post: I Am Bowing Out of the Top 100 Philippine Blogs

The Bad Boy

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 02:02:00 +0000

This has always intrigued me: how some very intelligent, attractive women could shrug off all logic and choose to be with a "bad boy."

What is a "bad boy" then? There are several types. There is the charming smooth-talker. There is also the angst-ridden brooding type. There is the rough macho man. There is also the sophisticated man of the world. These are not what make him a "bad boy," though - there are a lot of perfectly good men like the ones I have just described. No, the "bad boy" is marked by his utter lack of respect for women.

Oh, this lack of respect may not be obvious. In fact, he may seem like a total gentleman, even more chivalrous than most. Check out his life, though, and you will see a trail of broken hearts, broken dreams, broken lives. The "bad boy" may claim he does not intend to hurt anyone's feelings, but he does so, time after time. He may claim he cannot help himself. He may claim he needs your help, he needs you. This is where you get drawn in.

Even in romance novels and romantic movies, the "bad boy" hero is always the most popular type. Of course, in novels and movies, he is usually made to change into the perfect hero.

I have never been attracted to "bad boy" types and, thankfully, neither are my daughters. I'm wondering what attracts all those other women to them, though.

Some women say they find "good boys" boring and "bad boys" exciting. What's so exciting about all the heartache they will be left with, I wonder?

Perhaps it is the idea of making a man want to change his ways for love of a woman. Well, the idea is thrilling but, sadly, reality very rarely presents this scenario.

When you fall in love with a man, you fall in love with the totality of his being. Do not fall in love with a future version of him that you have in your mind - a new, improved version that you intend to create. You are setting yourself up for disappointment.

I believe that a man can genuinely change for the better because of love, but this has to be of his own free will and cannot be a foregone conclusion in a relationship.

Of course, some women may say that they have not chosen to fall for a "bad boy." It just happened. And now they are caught up in this once-in-a-lifetime grand passion. They feel it is their only chance at experiencing this intensity of emotions, and can't let go.They feel it is worth everything to take this risk, try for the possibility of a happy-ever-after.

Well, if you are of age and you know the danger you are getting your heart into, no one can stop you. I can only say good luck. Miracles do happen still.

On Dating: Be Yourself, But...

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 05:00:00 +0000

My 18-year-old daughter complains: "Boys ask me what I want in a guy and I say I want them to just be themselves. Problem is, when they do show their true selves, they expect me to like them even if what I see is not very likeable."

Hmm, it sure is something we hear often: be yourself. And it is good advice.

It means not putting on a front, not pretending to be someone you're not. It means not misleading the other person about who you really are.

It does not, however, mean that showing your true obnoxious, self-centered, domineering, slacker self will automatically endear you to anyone.

Pretension will backfire on you sooner or later, but being yourself will not earn you any points either if that self is not likeable to begin with.

Be yourself. Of course. That is the cardinal rule. But also make sure that you make yourself the best you can be - genuinely.

If you are looking for the right person, be the right person yourself.

HeartSpeak 14: On Father's Day

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 16:33:00 +0000

Happy Father's Day to all fathers reading this!

I have my own Father's Day tribute to the love of my life at my Manila Mom blog.

Here, I'd like to honor the memory of my Dad with a poem I wrote on February 7, 1979. I was 17 then.

Again, I owe my dear friend, ML, for sending me a copy of this poem from her trusty notebook.

When I wrote this poem for our organization's newsletter, it was fictional. Upon re-reading it, though, I find that it may have presaged my own emotions 27 years too early. The only thing off in the poem is that I never really saw my Dad in anger. He was always calm even when he was in disagreement with something.

I miss him so.

Happy Father's Day, Daddy!

TO A FATHER - FOR HIS LOVE

From the deepest of slumbers you woke me
From the eternity of non-being
And christened my existence
With you
Gentlest strength that ever ruled
Vision of my world and all - and all
Innermost of my aspirations known
For who I am and what I am
Is you
And yet, how brief, and yet
How little it is I have known
And so much of what you are
I have yet to understand
But I have it in me to seek within
For what you are that is in me
And I have my memories
Of your ways, of your laughter,
Of the calmness of our voice,
Of your will, of your anger,
Of your love
Spring fountain of my lifeblood
Father of my flesh
Before I was were you
And I was you until you made me be
And so will you be in me
For as long as I am, you are
And the memory shall last forever.

It's My Birthday!

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 06:48:00 +0000

I'm taking today off, friends, because I just turned 45!

I'll be counting blessings and enjoying the company of B and the kids.

Glorious, glorious day!!! :D

We Are Now www.caferomanza.com! Yipeee!

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 08:24:00 +0000

In case you haven't noticed, friends, this blog now has its own domain. Finally!

I procrastinated for quite a while, not wanting to lose the PR3 that was awarded to Cafe Romanza during the last PR update. I've been advised by knowledgeable bloggers, though, that although the blog may lose the PR for a while, it would be better to do the switch now rather than later. Hopefully, we will regain the PR in the next update or, hopefully, even get an upgrade.

It's about time to officially get the domain. For one, doing a Google search for "Cafe Romanza" shows practically the whole of page one pointing to this blog. I was amazed to see that pages 2 to 5 of the results also show various links to this page. This is despite the fact that there are 115,000 results for the phrase.

Don't worry, clicking on the old address will still bring you here automatically, so old links will still work.

I will be doing some streamlining, though. Since I now also have Maia Jose.com, I will be writing about my fiction writing there, whether on romance or other genres. Everything else related to romance will be tackled here.

Of course, the serialized romance novel continues.

Thanks, everyone, for your continuing support!

Mabuhay Philippines!

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 16:06:00 +0000

Let us celebrate our heritage as Filipinos as we mark Philippine Independence Day today, June 12!

Fellow Pinoys around the globe, mabuhay tayong lahat!

Link Love Time: My 12-in-1 Link Exchange Program

noreply@blogger.com (M) — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 10:35:00 +0000

I thought this up when Culture Shiok! asked to sign up for my Favorite Link Exchange.

I created my Favorite Link Exchange to be able to reciprocate fairly to those who fave two of my blogs (as I only had 2 really active blogs at that time). Since I only have one Technorati account, I could not fave them back twice. Instead, I add a link here in lieu of the second fave.

Now I have 12 blogs. I am, therefore, offering you 12 links in one go with your choice of anchor text. (Not more than three words per link, and no obscene text will be allowed.) I will add your link to the link page of each of my 12 blogs. (For this blog, check GREAT LINKS.)

In return, you just have to link to 12 of my blogs, with my anchor text. Just copy and paste the following to your blogroll or your linkpage:

Manila Mom
Cafe Romanza
Earn Online
Filipino Author
Philippine Trip
Ageless Beauty
Chronic Headache
Free Stuff
Hot Buzz
House Hunting
Filipino Family
Filipino Community

Leave me a comment here with the url of your link page (so I can check it out) and the anchor text you prefer. If possible, make your anchor text a link so I'll just copy and paste it into my blogrolls.

Please take note that all my blogs are legitimate. They are NOT spam blogs. I write well-thought-out posts for each blog myself.

If you also have more than one blog, that's fine. Give me all your anchor text and I will list them all, provided you also list all my blogs in each of your blogs (and provided your blog is not obscene nor a spam blog.)

Those of you who have less than 12 links to me may want to upgrade to get 12 links in return.

I will also try my very best to regularly visit all your blogs and participate in conversations.