Actions and Intentions, LOVE and JOY!

Hectic times.

2019-04-23T21:00:00.000-07:00

Hello readers, for the last few days I have been so busy and my time for writing is getting tighter.

A very important day is coming up soon and have been taking up my time.
Bare with me for the next few days, my blog will be quite and no new post, I have a very important day event.
Soon, soon I will be able to write more!

Thank you for your time in continuing to read my blog!

Easter Time!

2019-04-21T16:30:00.000-07:00

This time of the year here in the US, I experienced many things. One Is a celebration of Easter, one is of Passover, where in one occasion I and my children were in invited to a Seder. I can not claim I understand all its significance, only that its tradition that family has in a culture conventional and unconventional of a beliefs and or other. All are of respects of the seasons occasions and its offerings in all walks of traditions!

In the Philippines, I grew up from a family of Catholics. This time of year over there the country mostly practice Holly Week, the term that I was use to call this time. Less work and more food, at least in my family.

For the past 8 years, one of the household garden that I help care celebrates, Easter! I was told and heard the term fertility, womanhood, and Easter egg hunting are being celebrated!
This year is no exemption in preparing the garden for its years in celebrating this particular gardens offering for the party and the occasion! I am told that this Easter Party has been around for 40 years or longer! And for the last 8, I have been part of making the garden ready, safe for egg hunters, and beautiful garden display for party goers to enjoy the day!
Champagne beverage for adults, Orange juice for kids served and finger foods will be plenty to enjoy for all the invited guest!
Then of course the stuff candy inside plastic eggs for kids to hunt and the egg decoration in displays!

In 2011, I had the privilege to be part of this occasion with my smaller children then and I have been a big part ever since!

Us, our first Easter! 2011

I am so happy to see this photo! Just the 4 of us! It was one of the first events that my children were able to go with kids and with kids event included! In one occasion they were all my little helpers. They are no longer little these days!

Thanks for reading!

Shivers...

2019-04-20T16:30:00.001-07:00

When Elizabeth use the term, "grooming the children" in her comment on my blog, I immediately felt something about it. I can certainly connect my own experienced in the past and the immense trust I was convinced to give.

Now, looking and reading not so intently on the term over the net and some of its legal definition, surely gave me the intense feeling of my trauma!

Now and then, I have to tell myself, I was brave and being brave! And I can understand more so now with my parents fear in the tone of their questioning of, how are you doing?
I am glad I sought help! And I am continuing to do so!
Getting better and stronger everyday! I am becoming unafraid of what may comes in my path! I am brave and have what it take to be of my own, to live a life with less fear!

Thanks for reading.

View

2019-04-18T16:30:00.000-07:00

You may recall my post in the beginning of this month about being back to my regular work schedules and packing too, Oh goody, I am very busy! All in good times and certainly will be able to have my deposit for my new unit. Yay!

Meanwhile, I want to share this amazing view, as I am on my last night for this work and staying in this beautiful home. I am helping care for A the dog!

Photo below were my view as I woke up and while taking bath! It feels like I am suspended in the air among the high trees that surrounds this lovely home!

The biggest forest in Portland city limits! Forest Park!

The view to enjoy while in the tub!

Amazing garden terraces below!

I have not help in this garden and the work that has been done in it is so amazing!

Thanks for continued reading in my blog!

Beautiful Chaos!

2019-04-17T16:30:00.000-07:00

As my last post mention about my packing being done, here comes the chaos! Well, as it looks anyway and it's beautiful. I now know how to adapt a different way to look at things that gives me the joy with all the changes in my life as I evolved, navigate, learn, and live!

Boxes ready to move out!

My 3 winged companions home!

Anzu the Bird and the companions Blu and Kiwi do not know what to think about this boxes and the chaos that's been spread out for days! I have arranged help from two young and strong man to move all of my stuff out and hopefully directly to the new one. Stay tuned!

Thank you for reading!

Packing done!

2019-04-15T16:30:00.001-07:00

I have now only few days left to be out of the 2 bedroom apartment to a 1 bedroom unit, maybe!

I have not heard from the manager, so I sure hope that the one bedroom that thought to be available for me to move in will become open and ready. As I was told that sometimes people change minds about moving. That would be an impact on me, but then again, I learn that there are things that is out of my control and I deal with it as I have deal with things, being positive and look at it in a way that make my life better accordingly!

Packing my things up made me realized that I have accumulated stuff, OMG! I could not remember how I got most of the heavy thing up in a 3rd floor unit, LOL! Now, I have to take them down.

The amazing part is I learned that I can let go and not being attached to any of the accumulation I made myself think I needed then. I have a garage and so happy to know that I can open it up and have my neighbors have things they can use that I have no need for, now.

Thank you for reading!

Trusted.

2019-04-14T16:30:00.001-07:00

Hello readers, as you may now know, my work is caring for multiple people's home garden. I love what I do and being trusted too. I get so much joy and self gratification for the things that makes people happy and I earn a living.
There's another type of living I do. I house sit also, for again multiple homes. I have multiple keys to enter and trusted in this line of work. It is so good to know that people trusted me and it validates what I project to them. I am a trusted person who is trustworthy and can be relied on for so many things and being respected. It what makes my life so wonderful to know so many people of all kinds, of professions, and background to let me come into their homes, stay, and help me in anyway they can to make a life of my own.

And so, there are many homes that now what I have call, my paid vacation, stay-cation!💖

To read past posting to date 9 years ago click HERE, with yet another work I do and did!

Thank you for reading!

Vulnerability

2019-04-13T16:30:00.002-07:00

A phrase I heard,
"Harsh Reality is Better than False Hope!" Downton Abby

I have been away from the negativity and the toxicity I lived my life with a relationship for over 2 years now. I have read many books and one particular was about people who lives on someones vulnerability. I embraced and not scared with my own vulnerability, one reason am here still, today. It makes so much sense to me, now.
I was away from my blood family, no support of feeling left out in early years in my life here in the US.
I first made an attempt to reach out to Roger and Edna, in their 70's I believe who was the owner of the land I lived at the time. It was my attempt to reach out, But my attempt was met with despair and fear. I called Edna once early 1995 and asked basic information about something very important to me, I must have said so many things of negative tone, and the next thing I remembered was the yelled on the other phone line told me "WELL, YOU are MARRIED NOW! It was so loud and the anger in her voice shoot out, I was so scared that I run away, not very far in a printing press building/now a school and sat there all day stared at what was in front of me, which was only a field! It was cold and I did not know where to go or who to call, this was before my boob job talk.
One time it was one of those just "found out story" which a neglect to be known during correspondence that there has been multiple women experienced at any given time. Terms like Bisexual, Lesbian, Orgy, was used and expressed even "animals", I was so (appalled) a word that I could never say or described then. At the time I thought, it was the past but, still I ran away to where I can find to hide to get my feeling of fear subsided! The property when I arrived had so many cars, old cars that do not run, buses, old trailers all full of stuff, car parts, motorcycle parts, and shelters built against things, many places to hide. One time I ran and I got cold that I went inside one car and it was dark inside, I could not be found sleeping in there, but eventually with a flash light and doors locked key inside, I was in it. Keys were always left inside vehicles and could not be open and I did not want to go out. But I left the window open a little bit, a hose of cold water running directed inside to wake me up and made me came out!
I was never hit, never leave evidence was apparent to me now, I understand now. I thought that marital abuse was only when your husband hit you, that is often the case in my country and in my family no man hit a woman that I know, Its often woman in my family are the strong ones and will not tolerate the physical harm, but mine took hold of my vulnerability and twist me with my mind, fear, isolation, and intimidation, with less experienced about life in a different land and culture, the big ones I was played on!
I was convinced hard many times that I have BI sexual in orientation. I do not, but I know woman are beautiful, we are beautiful and I am glad that I am a woman! Sensual are woman and my attraction is not to woman. I was tried and convinced hard, I was supposedly BI sexual, I was introduced to women who has attraction only of sexual desire, old past Girlfriend who was Bi turned Lesbian. I remember seeing the look of this particular woman who was a former girl prior I came, supposedly. I was in a Mexican restaurant in Portland. There I was, just had a baby and a boob job, I could not understand her face, her reaction of the time. Of course looking at it and remembering disgust was the word I was looking then, but could not define in English, until not long ago. She had this look of "get away from me" in a nice civil way due to her as the waitress, make sense now! Of course the story told to me was of grandiose effect... It went on for 4 years of getting me in bed with woman. I did not drove until 2005, by myself! I was told I was not insured until then.
Fast forward to September 2018, the insurance agent called when I had switched my insurance and I was told the policy that I am letting go was already over 20 years old and would loose great benefits! It made me so confused!
Then I realized, I was insured but told otherwise, CONTROL, Trickery, and Deceit! From 1994, everywhere I went I was driven there, any of my kids appointment until 2005, I was not allowed access to a computer with internet until 2003, yes, it was right there open in a so called office, True, but I have no password to turn it on! I had my own laptop in 2007, I bought it with my own hard earned money.
Between 1997, '1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, I did experienced being with women, my gullibility, my vulnerability, and my curiosity as an inexperienced young person to all of these for someones else satisfaction. Until 2004 when I knew deep inside it was not me and put my foot down, after 8 woman.

Renters.
Over the years renters lived on the land, 9 woman, I can remember, they came, rented, and went, one was a mother, all had lived in, in the past. The common situation, most were of alone, making it on their own in the society and in a vulnerable time in their lives. Looking for a place cheap to live. I have known a few and a few stayed contact and friends with me after renting to this day.

Charmed with a grandiosity spew of steward of the planet life style! Organic, simple, natural living, anything that sounds nice and dreamy of what one can relate in its present concerns, vulnerability, and affordability! I can rememberOf course, all of these people are of legal age 18 and above! So was I!

Thanks for reading!

Disappointments!

2019-04-12T16:30:00.003-07:00

I have learned that there are many disappointments one being has to go through in life, and to know that there are also far more achievements to be have when one is brave enough, healthy enough, and truthful enough. And that one decent human beings!
There are people that can help and will help in any circumstance when one is truthful, openhearted, open-minded, and respectful!

I can see that for my children right now, they see and attached meaning to my experienced to theirs as disappointments, however, it is the truth of a life I had lived.
Harsh, I know and believe me, it was mine. Put yourself in my shoes, knowing many unnecessary mistreatment that I have known now, of the things done even before divorced on many things and everything over half of my life.
I would have to figure the irregularity, the liabilities, and much worst truth of how I was suckered to all the BS! While all the while a smirk of cunning success played on my life.

Knowing how much was and so cunningly hidden from me now, imagine of those surfacing only after, one is ashes?
It was hard for me to know and be aware about the truth even still living? It was and is disappointing.

At least now I can expect what disappointments I want to welcome in my life moving forward and the plentiful good decent accomplishments that I will have to live for a long life! I will, still have, and will live to make!

My family in the Philippines are all now aware of my situation fully, and yes they all are very disappointed and hurt of what I am now dealing in spite of the years in the dark, however, they trust that I am living my life that makes me lived fully and happy. They are all in support of my new living situation and glad to know that I am now learning to live again and I now being out of how it was.
My parents and sibling feels the pain of what my children are going thru. My mom and dad hoped very much that one day before they pass away that a welcome visit can come from their Grandkids and you my children are very much loved and adored, you are Mestizo! And it would be something for you kids to know someday what they're really meant for the family in the Philippines and yours. Rich family culture I have and we know how to be kids, and at least I grew up learned the value of respect to elders! I have no reason to doubt why you are where are!
My children, you are being welcome, in a home and family in the Philippines of humble living, poor conventional education of elders and family, but real, honest, and happy loving life, people. We have the love and the heart of family love no matter what!
Peace of mind, tramples disappointments for me, always!

Thank you for reading!

Experiences.

2019-04-10T16:30:00.001-07:00

There are so much to say about what we do in this living world to know what life meant to us, from the age 5 or younger to being 10. I have been told in many occasion and of different people, experts in psychology with PhD's Doctor, Therapist, Social workers, and mothers, kids have their moral compass as young as 9 in them. It's a matter of what they do with it after adolescent when maturity develops! Nature vs Nurture!
I have heard it before many times as referenced statements-part of me hope that my children hold that information and knowledge in their hearts.
They can go back to a time in my blog and see the pictures, I know it gave me joy that I had all the time spent with them then!

No licence and not allowed to drive in my early years was negative experienced, and the positive was and is, I had the time to be with my small children from Birth to 2005! That's treasured jewel to me!

I told a friend of what I relate in certain things in life experiences, call it a mantra or whatever, to me there's always a positive and negative in all that we do.

Just like a battery, there has to be a positive side and a negative side to make it function. Unless the battery is corroded, then it's nonfunctional, and it's toxic!

Thank you for reading!

Part V.. APRIL fool!

2019-04-09T16:30:00.000-07:00

In my draft of past writing dated 1/31/2011. Nice to look back and know that I was there and being me as I was experiencing the new life that now, got me here at present.

I has been quite sometime that my story of coming to America is in pause. But today I thought to write more.. Click here to read previous post...

Mesmerized with the thought that I have landed to what will be my new home and be with the man that I married to six months ago rushed in mind... I was so nervous and at the same time very happy that I am finally off the air. It seemed that everyone in the plane was moving so slow. My mind and my heart was pounding... Will he be there?

Coming out walking through the glass hallway and right ahead above me as I was walking I saw him. Our eyes met, I am home...

Great big smile and a bouquet of big flowers was there, I ran and hugged, overwhelmed with so much emotion and the disbelief that I am here in the arms... Everyone was clapping and cheering. I did not understand why.

Long time in the airport waiting for me quite a while and was very nervous and talk to everyone who has the ears to listen about waiting for the love of his life coming from the other side of the world to land at any moment... I sure did land, came to his arms! What a feeling it was... Tears of joy and delight and amazement that I did it.. I made it to America and be in the arms of ....

Weng

2/22/2019

Updated, here again the tone of young woman inlove. Past writing in draft 1/31/2011. Reading what writing I did that I was not able to share of the time frame ! Fondness feeling I get to read this young woman's dream of a life and love.
I know I have love in me to share and will LOVE again!

Thanks for reading.

April rain.

2019-04-08T16:30:00.000-07:00

Rain sometimes hinders my line of work, If its too wet, ground gets to slippery, ground heavy to dig with mud, I can get sick, and ind up loss my day income always. But, rain and sun is of nature that I have no control, so what do I do? Plan the best things I can make my time to have a little fun in spite of the April rain and get a sunshine out surprises!
Portland State University's first Saturday free event. This month was a free tour of Lan Su Chinese Garden! As you may be aware already my thing are anything of garden-ing and dance-ing whenever possible that I can to fit, in my life and enjoy.

Lan Su Chinese Garden is a collaborative garden between Portland, Oregon and Suzhou, China. A whole city block in the midst of buzzing life of all kinds in China town Portland.

The house that represent common people!

No dragon was allowed to ornate none emperor homes, so it was ornate with Fish holding fire! So homes won't be burn. I was told.

Inside Moon door!

Outside the whole garden block!

The first time I was invited to visit with this beautiful garden was a few years back, I think it was even before I took classes in PCC. I was only able to recognized very few familiar plants. But this second time around, I was so amazed and so proud of my learning and memory that I now recognized most if not all plants or of the varieties of particular plant species! I am so happy!
The ambiance this time, was fresh and yet familiar, rewarding, and contemplative feeling!
I have accomplished so much in such little time compared and my awareness in many things surprised me.
I am super pleased for myself. I am on my path to my happiness fully.
It is always a good thing when you can count on someone and someone can count on you. Thank you.

@2pm
A year ago today it was the day that I was invited to celebrate Dr. Herman Frankel's 80th Birthday and today, I am remembering him.
To read my post click, HERE!

A song that I just heard today and I like it! To hear and listen the words click, HERE!

I appreciate your time in reading my blog!

Unconditional Love!

2019-04-07T16:30:00.001-07:00

My marriage life was long 22 years and it was during the 19th year that I started to wake up and saw it was a mess. I now being told not once but multiple times, I did everything I could to do the right thing. Even went to multiple Marriage counselling. One who offered first was of the person who cared for us and the family so much, offered to counsel for free for the good it will do, knew us for years before I had my 3 child, I was so happy to hear it but, marriage counseling to work, takes two. It was rejected in October of 2014.

I have read books, of which now I know and learned the idea of marriage counselling. A last resort and for most, it's the sign to end or to begin again in either direction, make it together or break and separate, and it required changes, adjustments, and the willingness to hear each, ones pain and suffering, to make a mend for the marriage to last.

Unconditional love with another adult to me, doesn't mean that you just go with the flow once you see clearly of one persons power over the other, on anything and everything! I am talking about in adult relationships! That's domestic abuse!

Unconditional love for adult children means to me, letting them see and hear what's good and bad, what's right and wrong, what's acceptable and not acceptable, create a boundary, and explain accountability and consequences and learn to let them feel the emotions of the impact of their actions and inaction to self and others. I have 2 adults and one child who is now wanting to be adult!

For someone who projected and claimed I was crazy, well that's all there is, a projection and a claimed of their own issues!

Thank you all for the time in reading my life blog. I appreciate you all participating and sharing in comments who reflects respectable opinions for us who has experienced of abuse in all forms, in families, as adults, and as children!
This is my medium to express my life my experiences and share, in hope that people know they are not alone and that I am not alone!

I am finding ways to move forward from a hard life lesson lived in America being away from all my family, my unconditional love, of my life!

@ 12pm
As I am working along today, a song struck my senses! And to listen to it! Click, HERE!

Garden.

2019-04-06T16:30:00.001-07:00

Here in Portland,Oregon we have the International Rose Test Garden. Three years ago, I participated and volunteered in the garden. It was more helpful for me to see what experts do with these Roses in the Garden. I went to an Orientation and learned the programmed and see how these really regular people working side by side with few experts. I needed to learn cheap, good, and be able see techniques first hands. It was so fun!
First, all volunteer got the tour of the Garden with curator, this happens in the beginning of the new spring season when visitors were not as crowded. Also an opportunity to determine where a volunteer would like to put time in, Whether in the maintenance or of the history to guide visitors through out the summer months. It was fascinating to me, the History of the Garden and how it tied up with the NW Rose Festival parade that happens in Early June, every year! It was a lot of history dating back long ago about the Rose Society and the Nomenclature of how these rare amazing plants came about! There was so many information and knowing the difference between Hybrid Tea, Grande Flora, FloraBanda, climbers, bushes, and miniature ones. I wanted to learn how Roses can keep flowers coming through out the growing season! And I did! It was amazing! My brain can only remember few name, many new variety comes and New named Born to the proud creator/grower of a new flower. For me I went to volunteer during the fall season which was maintenance the only time of the year that volunteers and Rose gardeners alike can take flowers and clippings and yes, I tried to propagate some pretty good looking variety but my rescue teased me all the time. None have survived yet! And the secret to have endless bloom was to deadhead them as soon as a flower is spent for the summer and have direct sun for the plant at least 5 hours! That was one great experienced in doing hands on how the experts maintain the whole arrays of hundreds of these magnificent flowers to flower all summer long, that I myself have to work on with most of the garden I care to work.

The Rose with amazing color!

Strangest color!

Sweetest Smell!

With a Friend, toured the Rose Garden in the summer!

I will do it again to help and tour whenever I can! I want to see new plants who made it in 3 years of new rose plant variety tested, scored, and survived! I am in awe all the time, with the work that are done and the man power of volunteers to maintain these huge garden of Roses. Visitors all over the world come in thousands and enjoy during summer!

Thanks for reading!

Keeping my words and act on it.

2019-04-05T21:00:00.000-07:00

A few weeks back a friend helped me understand more about my book keeping and in return I help her with her yard work. So yesterday afternoon , after work, I drove South to Salem. The day that we set our plan. I spend the night so I would have plenty of time to do what needed in her yard for the morning, so I thought.
It was a bit of a gamble with the weather this time of the year. It rained early and by noon it was patchy sunshine and intervals of rain, and when it came down boy it came down, I got soaked. I was able to do 1/4 of the work I wanted to do. Not enough of what she's got which was not much. I will go back, and I will have photo. It was hard today with the rain. Keeping my words!

Then an opportunity I thought, to watched Carter in a theater play in State Thespian event while there, tomorrow, again so I thought! I got the info late and was excited and thought to extend my stay, but my fault, I did not have all the info properly. It was not an event that is open to the Public. I was disappointed. Texted back and forth with my kid but sometimes, things just don't work out. Next time I will be prepared! We tried and not this event for me to be there however, very grateful with the small good interactions I feel and I got about my effort to be there for Carters willingness/invitation.

So I ended up driving back north and my friend continued onto her plans for the weekend. I once again, gained time to drive by myself in longer distance, and my car, Penny was humming, not sure if a good hum or not! I made it home safe! It was a good day!
Thanks you for reading.

Packing!

2019-04-04T16:30:00.002-07:00

For the month of April as I re-start my regular work, there is another work that I have to do, Packing!

I now have to move in a one bedroom apartment. I have now maintain a two bedroom for over two years to accommodate my children to come, have experience, and see a different kind of living situation and have time with mom, but the opportunity was rejected! I spent money with my own hard earned income and no tax credit dependency here, Which I now understand much better what it meant! For a long time, I was just used as tax claimed dependent!

I have a toilet indoor, a tub, a nice kitchen, a table to eat in, a simple life, basic, and no shoes inside warm and cozy space to enjoy. Well, I have enjoyed it and loving my space. I have very little needs and I do not hoard!

I have a home, soon it will be even smaller and to fit what is only necessary. But my heart is so big and I have a giant bright future!
I am happy and moving with a life full of so much opportunity!

I am looking forward to this year! The pig year in Chinese zodiac in Spring time in the US. The year predicts,

" Rabbit - An excellent year is waiting for you! A bit less wary than usual, you will easily get close to others and make new friends." thechinesezodiac.org

Hmm, sounds to me that I am on tract, like the sound of that!

Thanks for reading!

April Fools?

2019-04-03T16:30:00.000-07:00

April 1st work, was no fool-ing around! I prepared an Herb Garden space! Don't you love it when things work your way even anticipating a hard work? Roots were plenty in this area and I was amazed on how it came out easy, timing is good!

In the process!

Ready for more Herbs to plants!

So above photos is a spot of a garden with few herbs already, it had so much roots for some reason and today I loosen it up, cleaned it up, a clients Herbal Zen! Right now it has 2 variety of sage, 1 chives, 1 dwarf lavender, 1 thyme, and mint. Perhaps, rosemary, some basil for daily use, oregano, rosemary, and marjoram can be added too! Mmm, I can smell the it aready!
I always like it when I am told of an idea and asked to do a good project that is good and beneficial. I love herbs and every plants that garden grows. These I consider my garden too, I also get to enjoy my hard work in planning, placements, and see them grow!

Second garden work of the day!
Below is another love of mine! This project was cleaning winter leaves, trimming to shape, and weeding! I was under, over plants, and all over this. A beautiful tiered garden/flower beds. And again, I am so proud of myself and able to get ahead of the weeds before it exploded to germination for next year.

Before photo!

After a few hours!
The moss remind me of someone dear and, who past away last year!

Often when I worked, my hands on and with dirt, and think about what I did last year in each of these gardens I care, as I work in each moment. Today, I was remembering the last two years of April. It seemed long time ago and perhaps it is and was. The difference on today's April was, that I was more present I did not have the feeling of being pushed, cornered, pressured, about anything in surviving. I am feeling calm and not hurried, relaxed!

I am amazed on how much I have learned to give myself some pause! I can breathe!

Thank you for your time in reading!

Back to my work schedules.

2019-04-02T16:30:00.002-07:00

April will be a very busy month! I already have my calendar full with Spring work and in full swing!

What I love about the work I do is that I make people happy and smile after they see my work, even the simple thing like the photo below!
Last Friday, I planted some flowers in pots to add color and welcomed the spring on a clients porch.

Here are those Bittercress weeds!

Weed on the garden beds!

Then I had to tackle them weeds! I named them the poppers, Hairy Bittercres! The thing is I got them this time a bit early so it did not pop the seeds like crazy, yet. I was on time on pulling them out! Yay! And I found fascinating and interesting info, these poppers are edible! I might have to try to cook this weeds! 😉

Thanks for reading! Happy gardening!

April Pause!

2019-04-01T16:30:00.001-07:00

Thank you for the time and interest in reading my life blog!

Rowena/Weng

2014 Philippines!

2019-03-31T16:30:00.001-07:00

After I took PCC classes, I gained more clients. There were 12 gardens I care all by myself!
I made some money, saved, and planned a trip with my kids to the Philippines summer of 2014!
My second son and the 3rd went and I, here we were!

On our way!

Island of Camguin!

In the city with new friends.

The family At a theme Park!

T2 with Grandpa's motorcycle!

preparing to climb a rope obstacle play!

White Island in Camiguin!

In Cebu touring with family!

Camiguin!

Dahilayan Park!

They own the place to race!

Cagayan airport as we arrived!

My sister and T2.

On our way to Dahilayan Park!

In Ochin Korea for a layover!

Korea Layoever!

In Cebu night outings!

On the Ferry to Camiguin!

Enjoying himself!

The cousins 55 days apart! Kirsten first!

Flying T!

Excited Faces, Flying the Pacific ocean for the first time!

Loaded tinny tiny vehicle for us!

Strong kid!

Handsome young lad!

Modeling!

To Camiguin with my babies! WERE babies!

the travel!

Here he was, my young lad!

It was one of the best decision I made! I know one day, it will be remembered and cherished! Enjoy!

Thanks for reading!

Deaths and passing away!

2019-03-30T16:30:00.000-07:00

Today's post is about people/person, I knew who have past away. It is a finality of what life we have on this earth as we know it!
In last 2 years I have known 5 deaths and all of them I have connection with. And recently George early this year.
In my family back in the Philippines 1 aunt, 1 cousin, and 2 relatives past away also.
Here in the US the 5 deaths 4 were the people I have worked for in their gardens, 4 of them in the 80's and older I believe. I can say that have lived a full life.
But Steve who I worked on his Garden and yard weeks before passing was younger, only in his 60's.
I was informed by his sister the day he was found. It was so sad for me because I was literally putting my calendar and pinning my day to go and work for him when I got the call of that fateful day he was found. I learned that Steve has a Friend Peaches which he'd always mention to me and never met and, during the burial last Year which I was invited to attend, I met his most closest and dearest friends, only a handful were there. I was so honored, Steve considered me and told stories to his friend about me and including his sister that I am one of his good friend, he was so dear and so is his sister who is so kind to me, just like Steve!
I am glad to hear stories that I helped Steve in ways that made a difference in his life while alive. I did what I know was right and that made us both happy and doing the right things for each other to be good people. To Steve, I was his go to person when the garden needs tending and house to be clean when his family comes to visit in his home in Portland. He treated me well! It was so great hearing his sister telling me on how I made him a believer in getting new gadget and learning new things and his TV entertainment! I set up his services and arranged with him to save money monthly on his Internet and TV. It was so cool to remember when I showed him about youtube! One day I came to work and he was so excited, showed me how to find Chris Botti one of his favorite trumpeter on you tube and did it himself! It was one of those things that it was hard for him to remember and he did it! I was so happy for him. Steve, always appreciated my suggestions on how I can put color and flower in his yard and always tells me " my sister loves flowers" and I planted flowers and he'd always show the next door neighbor of new things I have added in his garden. I worked hard on his lawn since 2015 and tried my best to minimized the pesky dandelion! And I managed!

Last year in April, lawn was green and bulb flowers were blooming!

Protecting the trunk of the tree from Steve's lawn mower!

I was able to convinced Steve that I make a bed around the tree trunk so it would prevent the tree from being hurt with the lawn mower, he thought it was great! He always ended up hitting the trunk and with this flowers bed around it, I made the young White dogwood thrived! I was delighted and Steve was happy to see the flowers for the last 3 Spring years in his life!

I missed Steve! The lunch together every time and his treat, the latte first he always offer when I arrived, the music he always showed me in his TV, the trips he shared doing with Peaches and the the smile he always have when I parked on the street when I came out of my car, to work in his garden!
And apparently he would always make sure that he was home and tell his friends he can't go with them when invited out if I scheduled his garden because "WENG is coming" peaches told me, so sweet!

I honor him with this post and remembering what a honest and a decent good man Steve was! I am glad that his sister is letting me continue my work in the garden!

The back lawn and the hedge I maintained!

It's a lot of work and I am glad I have one, which I enjoy doing!

Thanks for reading!

It gets me all the time!

2019-03-29T16:30:00.000-07:00

Today I am sharing a stretch of a road that always give me the good natural endorphin. I can't help, I burst out of happy scream every time I am on it! Here I go!

This was the stretch of freeway that I started to gained the confidence in driving freeways, with all 3 of my children in my car, Miss Penny 9 years ago, almost! To read the old post I wrote about me driving here for the first time click, HERE!

Thank you for reading!

Acquiring to rent!

2019-03-28T16:30:00.003-07:00

Today's post was the story of my adventure to find a place of my own. It was going on to fall and I did not have any money. So I went online research which complex close to my kids school and affordable somewhat and easy access to most places. I called a place called Center made an appointment because their one room was cheap in the advertisement and they have one available!
As I was driving there my legs were shaking and parking was hard to find, made me more nervous.

Went in the office in front of a small swimming pool and I don't know how I looked to him. I did not bring anything and i did not know what to ask but I told him a bit of my predicament. He must have sense my anxiety and he was very good and not forceful of my inability to commit. He walked me to the unit which will be available if I chose to rent it. I was sweating like nobody's business. I have never done this thing and never thought that I have too either in my life!

He told me of my dilemma of not having history so that made me more vulnerable but knowing it somehow I know where I can start with my situation in moving on. He was so nice and made my first appointment of inquiring an apartment a good start in building my confidence in the matter!

The second one was a quick and easy. I was right away heard of my situation and the manager was very informative and willing to help me feel safe. I found the place and needed two gran to secure my not having history a steep deposit and that was the reality of my time. A two bedroom which I right away gravitate to with good energy in it. The process begun and it was a lengthy one of getting your back ground check for a few days and I went to debt and get the money I needed to secure the unit and my move.
I hard reality and I learned that people of all kinds do this everyday. Very expensive and it took me hard work to get here with few handful of people extending help for me to feel safe with my life.

I found a place in and of home for now.

Community College.

2019-03-27T16:30:00.000-07:00

Sometime 2013 my gardening work was getting busy.
I needed to get my business going, I found that people were really relying me with their gardens and I found myself needing to be able to stand up in terms of caring for the plants for the care and needs in my growing clients and my gardening work.
So, one day I went to community college to get information what was needed from me to take classes, the next thing I knew I was sent to have SAT and Compass test! I was so scared and so surprised, I was in the registration line and was sent to a room to take exam! And I did it!

I pass high mark on my reading. writing, comprehension, and 2 points below to pass for math! I was elated and so shocked! I never picked up a book or anything to study for years, I thought I had to do my GED first! But I passed! I was told that I can apply for FAFSA and have student aide! I did that too!
Of course went home to the family and with so much good news to share, it was met with sadness and negativity! Who was going to cook for us and what about the children what about work? OMG! My bubble burst, but I went through it. It was for me and eventually will be good for my family to have income, better income, I thought!
I took, horticulture 101, and writing 121, I did very well in horticulture and not so good in my writing, a bit high level for me but I did very well in discussions, I was really good in the writing class participation itself. I did not have the proper training of basic writing, I just got high marked in the test, through comprehension. And the experienced and the lessons learned for me inside a class room full of people all younger than me including the teacher was awesome!
In Horticulture, I learned so much about basic in plants and it was so fascinating knowing what deciduous and evergreen meant, what are annual, perennials, woody, and fleshy plants. Learned about suns expose importance and placements of plants in garden to thrive. That lead me to learned how to designed a garden, transplant plants and all what a plant need for the clients enjoyment to have beautiful garden, a little about soil too. Patterns and characteristics of living plants/things that we enjoy as flowers and food to eat.
I had so much fun. Taking the classes, I met new people and studied with them, young people with same likes and interest. But a few, I think my classmates was joining in the ban wagon about growing Marijuana at the time, since it was in the ballot or was just passed for the vote to legalized Marijuana, And in occasion
someone had some with them, it smelled in Horticulture class. It was distracting at times for me.
I participated in the learning to be better at my trade and to know more of my trade! I was happy! And little do I know, there was a jealousy energy in family. Here I was, doing things my own and i was not asking any help anymore and that was a threat! I was a threat. It can be looked at differently, but now I know it was not. No support if I do something for myself that the family can benefit. There's difference in going to school to gain something that relates to improvement of livelihood than of taking guitar lesson to indulge one self! I did my study. I made sure that there was food and the class was not impacting my daily life to much and the life of my children!
One class was 5 pm to 10 pm Monday and the other was 2 to 4 pm Friday, two days a week. I managed and made money at the same time. All my client supported me and was so positive about my goals and purpose, including my children at that time!

BTW, I want to give credits to Two great ladies who were so supportive on my going to school concept that they gave me some money to help with cost to start, what I thought GED class to begin and ended up taking 2 credit classes with such an accomplishments, even in the middle of what was a stormy life at the time! 😂

Thanks for reading.

31 years ago, almost!

2019-03-26T16:30:00.000-07:00

There are only few photos that I was able to take with coming here to this country, and back in the Philippines my family informed me that most of our Albums were lost in past floods and photo were destroyed!

Today, I am sharing my only photo when I graduated in my primary years. In the Island of Mindanao and the City of Cagayan De Oro a little town few miles away east is called Cugman, was where I lived. My parents still live there to this day. It is way different now than what I remembered when I was 12 and when I lift in 1994.

March 30th, 1988!

In the Philippines back when I was in school, we started kindergarten at 5 years old. It is a school of its own year. As what I can relate to the system then was that kindergarten was the year we as kids get evaluated for if, ready to be in among kids of same age and can socialize with out parents for 3 to 5 hours and hold respectable behaviors to wards other kids and nap, that was kindergarten. I learned my numbers letters and words in English in Kindergarten, then we graduate. Then, went on to Primary years, Grade 1 to 6 and we graduate again, but every year ends a recognition of the a class year 1st to 5th, students are and were being honored with the accomplishments every year from first honor to 5th honor according to student intellectual ability, academic achievement and good behavior practiced demonstrated as a student.

The photo above was during my grade 6th graduation, the last year where we all had to wear white not toga. I had two ribbon received during the ceremony. I was recognized as a Neat student and Punctual, meaning I was clean every time I came to school and on time! I was called on the the stage and my proud parents would pin my ribbon and a recognized that I was a good student and was awarded for such! My mom made me a coin candy for my garland and I was the only one who had such a thing. My mom was full of surprises and which I think I am carrying a tradition on and which have done the same with my kids also.

One of few photos that I have of me in my younger years! I was well known so as my parents in my school growing up. I present dance all the time as leader during any school event until I graduated. This was almost 31 Years ago, 3/30/2019!

Left to right in the photo, my younger sister Geraldine, my aunt Seneca, father's youngest sister, I, my aunt Teofila my mom younger sister and Lailani my sister's classmate, our friend and neighbor! What a happy memory, for me!

Thanks for reading!