By Ellen Sanders

As someone who has spent a good deal of time reading about and investigating child behavior and development, I was interested in participating in the process that determines these standards when I was approached by the Cognitive Development Project at Villanova University. My daughter, C., was 9 months old when she first participated in a study and 11 months old when she did a second one. After having two good experiences and now planning to go back for our third, I decided I’d like to talk to Dr. Rebecca Brand, the professor who oversees the studies at the Cognitive Development Project, so that other parents who may be interested in participating in these studies with their children will know what it’s all about.

First, the purpose of these studies, according to Dr. Brand, is to “study how children learn about objects and other people, particularly through language and by example.” By studying the way very young children behave in different circumstances and in relation to specific situations, researchers learn how their minds work.

Dr. Brand has been at Villanova University for 9 years. She’s originally from Delaware and studied at the University of Oregon. She says she’s always been fascinated by children, but got interested in studying their cognitive development when she was taking a language development course during her undergraduate studies. “Children want to do what they see their parents do. They often learn through imitation,” she says.

Generally, there are anywhere from 2 to 6 studies going on at any given time. Most of these are student-directed, meaning that a student comes up with a hypothesis that (s)he wants to study, presents it to Dr. Brand, and, if approved, the study is then begun. A study’s sample group usually consists of 20 to 50 children and usually runs until enough data is collected. Currently, there is one study examining how children learn words, one examining how and why children imitate, and another looking at what babies understand about how we avoid obstacles while moving around in the world. Some studies involve watching short videos; others involve playing with new objects. Overall, the intention is to get group results, not the responses of any one baby. For that reason, immediate feedback is not customary, though parents are able to know the purpose of a study and the age ranges that are being evaluated. In addition, if parents are interested in finding out the results of a study their child participated in, the CDP is happy to send that information once the results are determined.

So, what happens at a typical study? Well, first I’d like to say that when I was initially contacted by student researcher Molly about participating, I was given a good overview of what was going to be done. The study they were conducting at that point involved C. watching a short video while they recorded her reactions. (While particular formats for studies vary, the general course of events at a study session remains the same.) It all sounded okay to me, but I had a few questions before I was willing to commit to allowing my daughter to participate. How long would the session last? How many people would be there? Would I be able to stay with C. the entire time? Molly assured me that I would be with my daughter for the entire length of the visit and that if at any point she or I were uncomfortable we could pause the session and/or end it. She explained that most visits lasted less than an hour and most of the time was spent initially allowing the child to become comfortable with the surroundings and new people. The lab is set up like a playroom, and the child is given a host of toys to play with while (s)he becomes acclimated. Depending on the time of year and scheduling, there could be anywhere from 1 to 3 researchers there to observe. We had the choice of a t-shirt for my daughter with the CDP logo on it or a $5 gift card for Amazon.com as compensation.

C. and I have had a good experience with the CDP. In both instances of participation, C. was thrilled to have undivided, friendly attention from a group of people and was happy to play with the toys provided. The studies themselves were safe, brief, and interesting from my point of view. And, personally, I found it fascinating to see what kinds of things they were studying based on certain hypotheses. While every child’s development is on its own schedule, as a parent, I think it’s helpful to have guidelines.

I asked Dr. Brand what she thinks the most important thing for parents to know about the studies is. Her answer says a lot about how she runs the CDP and its mission: “First, the child has fun. There’s no pressure and there’s no right or wrong. Second, parents get to see their children in a different light and are able to see how they behave in a new context. Third, the results of these kinds of studies help determine what happens in typical development.  I think understanding babies’ development is fascinating in its own right,  but knowing what is typical might also eventually help us recognize and treat developmental issues such as language delay and autism.”

If you are interested in participating in a study or finding out more about the Cognitive Development Project , please call 610.519.4749 to speak with a CDP team member or e-mail Dr. Brand at rebecca.brand@villanova.edu. They will be most appreciative for your interest and are willing to work around your schedule to arrange a visit, including nights and weekends.

About the Author

Ellen Sanders is the Events Manager and Associate Editor for Main Line Parent. She lives in Ardmore with her husband, Doug, and their one-year-old daughter C., who constantly amazes and amuses them. Ellen has a B.A. in English and is happy to finally be using it in the manner in which she intended. In her spare time, Ellen loves to read, find recipes that will be yummy and healthy for the family, and catch up on movies that have been on her “Must See” list for the past year. For right now, her life is simply better than she could have ever envisioned.

Looking to make some new friends? Join our moms’ group to take advantage of MLP’s resources, events, and promotions or sign up for our eNewsletter to find out what’s happening in our group and on the Main Line for families!

By Shelly F. Gill

The day my first and only child, S., was born was the happiest of my life; it was also the moment that the whole world as I knew it changed. I traded in my neatly-pressed business attire for coffee-stained sweats. My once cherished 8-hour sleep cycle quickly dwindled to mere minutes of shut-eye at a time. After only a few short weeks of motherhood—which seemed more like a collection of loosely strung-together emergencies—I felt like an utter disaster. Though I deeply appreciated every moment I spent with my sweet baby, I knew then I would have to resume some basic components of my previous life to keep me sane—you know, the basics, such as shaving my legs more than once a week and sporting matching clothing on occasion. In short, I realized that a mom’s need for “me-time” was not a myth.

When my daughter was an infant, I made a point to dress her in frilly, pink onesies that I took care to insure smelled and appeared clean. Usually that meant changing outfits and sponge-bathing her more times in a day than I could count. Yet, for all of my concentration on her appearance, I didn’t pay a second of attention to myself. After talking to several of my friends I realized that I was not alone. Apparently it is commonplace for new moms to neglect their own needs while giving 110% to their children. My own mother, who seemed to pull this motherhood thing off effortlessly (three times) told me, “A happy mommy makes a happy baby.” Given that my mom is still, to this day, one of the happiest people I know, and always looks great, I followed her lead by incorporating two key activities into my daily routine which dramatically lifted my spirits.

1.   Physical Activity. . . Not Just at the YMCA!

S. was a late summer/early fall baby. The weather was lovely with leaves changing into hues of reddish-orange. After a few weeks of not leaving the house very often (except to go to Babies R Us), I placed her in the stroller, which had been collecting dust, and walked into town. I’m lucky to live in the Borough of West Chester, in close proximity to local businesses. My daughter and I started a habit of taking a daily stroll and visiting local coffee shops for a caffeine fix. Strangers made a huge fuss over my beautiful new baby and it was enjoyable to be mingling, once again, with the outside world. It also helped take off the extra baby weight. This motivated me to maintain an active and healthy lifestyle. Walking is an easy and free activity that moms can do anywhere. During rainy days and after autumn turned to winter, I shifted gears and walked indoors at the local mall. An extra benefit is the psychological lift from meeting new people and talking about current events, clothes, or just whatever non-Sesame Street topic comes up.

2.     Nighttime. Sure, you can just collapse, but first try this:

I’ve always loved indulging in a long, hot, relaxing bath or shower before the cacophony of the day started up. After I became a mother, though, the whole idea of a quick shower seemed to cause me unneeded stress. I kept the bathroom door wide open, rushed to get clean and, always, listened for a crying baby; the new “normal” included giving away even my most cherished relaxation techniques to parenthood. So I discovered a way to make bathing enjoyable again by swapping my morning shower for a nightly bath. What I learned was that you can literally transform your bathroom into a spa-like atmosphere by surrounding the tub with great smelling shampoos, therapeutic bath salts, and favorite lotions. What better time for a mom to focus on herself than at night when everybody else is taken care of?  If I have a hectic day, I light a vanilla or lavender candle: the soothing vapors transport me into a transcendental state—and of course we should not forget the occasional glass (or two, or three…) of red wine.

For the past few years my evening routine consists of shaving my legs, washing my hair, and applying weekly deep-conditioning treatments (my once-frizzy hair has never looked healthier!)—all things I previously rushed around in the morning to accomplish, yet was barely able to complete. Taking a bath at night has benefited me and can benefit all new moms. I rest easily having WAY more time in the morning to devote to other favorite things, such as coffee and cartoons.

S. is getting bigger now. I no longer fit into the “new mom” category. The demands of parenthood, however, are still present, and I still have moments where I am frazzled and unkempt. When this happens, I instantly refer to the same model—”A happy mommy makes a happy baby”—and though my daughter will be the first to proclaim that she’s NOT a baby anymore, I think to myself and smile, as she will always be mine.

Aromatherapy Candle Guide

For years, studies have indicated that aromas alleviate stress and enhance quality of life. Here are the suggested benefits of a few aromas I enjoy on a regular basis:

• Vanilla: promotes relaxation, eases a queasy stomach, acts as a natural aphrodisiac
• Lemon: stimulates the immune system, enhances mental activity
• Lavender: promotes relaxation, has an antidepressant effect, relieves headaches
• Sandalwood: treats insomnia, reduces tension
• Ylang ylang: decreases anxiety, lowers blood pressure

About the Author

Shelly F. Gill is pursuing her Master of Fine Arts degree from Rosemont College in suburban Philadelphia, and holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Communication Studies from West Chester University of Pennsylvania. She is a guest writer for the website Mommies with Style and The Examiner, focusing on make-up and beauty tips. She loves good wine, food, and music. Shelly lives in West Chester, Pennsylvania with her husband and young daughter.

By Suzanne Walker

Photo Courtesy of Brittany Ostrov Photography

When I found out last fall that I would soon be a mother to two under two, I started wondering–alas, a bit late!–about the benefits and drawbacks of having them so close in age. What really is the ideal age difference between siblings, anyway? Is it possible to plan an ideal setup? Naturally, I was uncertain as to how our son, A., would receive our new baby, L. I knew that jealousy was probable, disdain was possible, and chaos in the house for the next couple of years was nearly a given. What I didn’t know was that A.’s response to baby L. could be as good, as positive as it turned out to be. It warms my heart to see what sincere affection and genuine concern he has for his little sister, as if she were his alone to protect and love.

I’ve talked to so many parents about the pros and cons of  various age gaps between first and subsequent children, but the accounts (and opinions!) seem to vary as much as the stories about babies who sleep and babies who don’t. Each situation and child is unique and, like life, you never really know what you’re going to get. A. and L. are almost exactly 21 months apart and it has been surprisingly easier than I’d expected. Please don’t misunderstand me: having two very young children is not easy. It is a constant balancing act and a challenge to stay calm when you are literally pulled in two different directions, but it is downright fun. It’s astounding, too, to see such a little person love a baby so deeply.

Deciding when to tell a young toddler about a new baby can be tricky. Since toddlers often want things now and will quickly lose interest in (or become frustrated with) something that takes too long, my husband and I didn’t want to tell A. too soon about the new baby. I’d read that toddlers his age can understand a great deal more than they can verbally communicate. Given that, as I recall, we informed him when he was 16 months old. At that stage, he was still working on saying new words, so it became an interesting one for him to pronounce as well as a brand new concept to grasp: a baby in Mommy’s belly!

I tried to include A. in the natural progression of events, namely the monthly obstetrician-visits. (Note to all: waiting in an exam room with a young toddler interested in all medical supplies can lead to a stressful visit. Bring books, snacks, toys, and—if you’re lucky—another person to help!) My efforts to tell him about the upcoming baby in the simplest way possible truly came together at my 5-month checkup. I’d told A. that we were going to the listen to the baby’s heartbeat at the doctor’s office, so when my OB put the Doppler on my belly and the heartbeat reverberated through the speaker, he looked at me, smiled, and said, “Bay.” (His word for baby at the time.) It was priceless.

I remember reading a book about child behavior and the potential negative reaction a toddler may have toward a new sibling. I wanted to prepare myself for any possibility, especially since I’d witnessed a friend struggle with her oldest child’s response to a second baby. I knew that A. was entitled to whatever reaction and emotions were natural for him; I was intent on using his fierce independence and eagerness to help in the most productive way possible (channel that energy!). Asking him to “help Mommy” has been an excellent teaching tool. He really is my “good helping boy,” and his response to being included and feeling empowered to do certain tasks has really had a wonderful effect on our family. Baby L. herself has been a powerful learning tool, particularly in the recurring lessons of sharing and gentle kindness–urging A. to “teach L. how things work,” “how to play,” and so on has been an excellent vehicle for these concepts. It’s taken a couple of months, but now he doesn’t mind that she plays with toys—even his toys sometimes. A. has adapted nicely to the dynamic of us all playing together, too. Of course, he will still correct the way she plays with things: “No, you no eat Legos…”

We all know that kids are proverbial sponges for information, language, and behavior. My husband and I have warned each other on more than one occasion that we ought to watch ourselves around our exceptionally perceptive toddler. Furthermore, we know that a parent is a child’s first teacher, from whom he learns the very essential skills to prosper in life. We believe in teaching through example and loving others as we would want to be loved. But we had no idea that our son would actually learn to love our baby girl the way we do, and adopt our same expressions of love and care for her as we have. On more than one occasion, he’s responded to her waking up from a nap by running into her room ahead of me saying, “It o-tay, baby-durl (baby-girl), it o-tay. Did you have a good nap? What did you dream about?” He uses the very same words we use to calm her down, letting her know everything will be okay.

I know that I am truly blessed by such a fantastic response from my son. On the one hand, his sister is absolutely sweet and easy to please (it’s not hard to adore her, if you ask me). On the other hand, I think a lot of credit goes to both our son and the way we presented our daughter to him–before and after she was born. I was careful not to put pressure on him that he had to “love” and “take care of” his baby sister. Instead, I told him how much she loved him and couldn’t wait to meet him. I’ve continued this line of thinking ever since her birth, telling him how happy he makes her and how proud of him I am. In the end, I know that all children are unique, and I certainly don’t have a fail-proof formula for introducing a sibling to your first baby. I even know that all of this could change in a heartbeat. But I’m fairly sure that lessons of love–especially unconditional love–are powerful, and create a lasting impression on your heart. Even if you’re only two years old.

About the Author

Suzanne Walker’s love of motherhood is rooted in the belief that it is the most challenging and most rewarding job in the world. Her husband, Johnny, is an absolute Super-Dad, who takes over the kids and household responsibilities in a flash when she needs to reclaim herself through a spontaneous home improvement project or some good, old-fashioned retail therapy. Her days are virtually unscripted and she loves spur of the moment playdates and ventures.

By Jennifer Zohn

Hey, Mom! When was the last time you went shopping without a child strapped to/hanging on/tugging at you? Raise your hand (we won’t look) if you’ve chased a toddler from a dressing room in just your underwear. We all know that it’s a rare moment to be able to enter even The Gap on your own, let alone leisurely browse a beautifully-appointed women’s clothing boutique. Last month, a group of Main Line Moms got to do just that at our first-ever Shopping Happy Hour at the fabulous Bedazzled Boutique in Newtown Square. Just in time for the holidays, we enjoyed 20-75% off their luxurious, hand-picked items, a lovely spread of hors d’oeuvres, Bedazzled-tini cocktails, and a hearty dose of fun and laughter with the ladies.

(L to R) Ruth Krass, Owner; Amanda Booth, Sales Associate

Bedazzled is locally owned and operated by Ruth and Victor Krass, and offers a variety of current trends in a taste that suits the diversity of its customers. The flattering, wearable styles, from designer denim and accessories to stunning evening gowns, have earned Best of The Main Line kudos since 2007. “Our customers receive royal treatment with doting employees, luxurious garments, and free alterations on gowns and jeans. We strive to provide you with stunning outfits and gracious service so that you walk away feeling revitalized, confident, and never empty-handed,” say the owners, and our moms’ group shoppers can attest to that.

Ruth, who holds a degree in Fashion Merchandising from Philadelphia University, realized her life-long dream to bring her Fashionista know-how to the community when she opened Bedazzled Boutique. Her husband, Victor, has been in the business for over 30 years, working for his family’s famed Krass Bros. of Philadelphia. The entire staff is passionate about what they do, including store manager, Suzi Morris, and the owners’ daughter, Sabrina.

Abby Fusaro of Havertown was there with her mother, trying on dresses for her upcoming Sweet 16. (Lucky girl.) We all had fun chatting and telling her she looked beautiful. Happy Birthday, Abby!

Bedazzled has a gigantic selection of really affordable and totally chic accessories. I grabbed some earrings as gifts and kept a pair myself. In addition to this table-full, fashion jewelry is sprinkled throughout the store, mingling with shoes, bags, hair accessories, sunglasses, and more.

These Main Line Moms enjoyed the selection of casual clothes, boots, and bags. Ellen loved this sweater dress and had a laugh with me as I snapped her picture; Stacey left with a great pair of red Hunter boots and Rachel entertained us with hilarious justifications for buying this bag instead of Christmas gifts for family members.

Need a special dress or gown? (You do if you plan to join us on May 4th!) Bedazzled Boutique has you covered. Their selection is extensive and comprises everything from classic and understated to snazzy show-stoppers.

I couldn’t resist snapping photos of MLP Publisher, Sarah Bond, as she tried on several of Bedazzled’s cocktail dresses. The grand finale was this jaw-dropping Nicole Miller gown, which received appropriate “oohs” and “ahs” from all of us.

We at Main Line Parent are anxiously awaiting Mom’s Night Out for Mother’s Day at The Radnor Hotel, which will be centered around a Fashion Show presented by Bedazzled Boutique. Ruth is at the helm, so it’s sure to be breathtaking and a ton of fun. Tickets will go on sale online tomorrow night at 8PM!

Many thanks to Bedazzled Boutique for hosting our Shopping Happy Hour event! We were delighted with our finds and enjoyed a rare ladies’ afternoon of luxury. We hope to do it again soon!

Make a trip out to Newtown Square for a visit to Bedazzled Boutique next time you’re sure you have nothing to wear. You’ll be in for a treat!

By Sarah Bond
Sponsored by vitaminwater zero

As I tell all my mom-friends, if you’re having one of those mornings when you simply need to get out of the house with your little one(s), The Little Treehouse Play Café is the place to go. And let’s be honest: though the kids are primed for action, these mornings tend to require a bit of a pick-me-up in order to keep us going. That’s why our recent playdate in Chestnut Hill was such a big hit: the kids burned some energy while the moms stayed hydrated with a little lift from the new naturally-sweetened, zero-calorie, vitaminwater zero.

First-time visitors to The Little Treehouse were delighted by its open play space and myriad toys to explore. Each time I visit, I find new areas for my busy toddler to dive into for a pre-naptime romp: from the grocery carts filled with play food to the little room full of pillows, she continues to discover the whimsy and imagination packed into every corner of the Play Café.

Main Line Moms in attendance received gift bags generously supplied by vitaminwater zero, and enjoyed a preview-tasting of the refreshing new beverage flavors not yet on store shelves. Check ‘em out:

vitaminwater zero glow (flavor: strawberry-guanabana)
Helps support skin, hair, and nail health from within using well-known efficacious skin- and hair-health ingredients: biotin, zinc, copper, vitamins e, a, and c.

vitaminwater zero drive (flavor: blood orange + mixed berry)
Contains natural caffeine & renowned South American ingredient, yerba mate, providing motivation to help get you going throughout the demanding day.

vitaminwater zero rhythm (flavor: starfruit + citrus)
Contains potassium & magnesium which help support a normal heart rate and healthy lifestyle.

We were also joined by local glaceau nutritionist, Kimberly Garrison, who answered questions about vitaminwater zero’s natural-sweetener blend and nutrient-packed varieties.  She also shared some fun alphabet yoga flash cards with the moms to encourage  physical and learning activities with the youngsters.

Our playdate introduced dozens of moms from across the Delaware Valley to a great local resource, some tasty beverages, and some new friends. Thanks Little Treehouse, vitaminwater zero and Main Line Moms for another great event! 

If you would like to host a playdate for our moms’ group or tell us about your upcoming event, contact our Events Manager today!

By Barb Tague

Growing up in the suburbs of the Midwest provided for a true all-American childhood. There were Fourth of July parades and PTA meetings; tennis camps and sleepovers at friends’ homes; and arctic-like winters (we are talking about Chicago here) spent building fortresses and snowmen in the yard. Yet unlike many of my classmates and neighbors, I was also growing up as a first-generation American. My parents immigrated to the United States from Poland in the early 1970s and, like many immigrants at the time, settled and established their families in Chicagoland. Following political and social upheaval and economic woes, my parents left their homeland to pursue the American Dream and ensure their children a more promising future.

As I prepare for my daughter’s second Christmas and allocate the remaining days to cookie baking, gift wrapping, and putting all the finishing touches on the holidays, I can’t help but be reminded of my parents’ humble beginnings, their sacrifices, and the traditions and life lessons they have instilled in my brothers and me. While they came to the U.S. with (really) little more than the clothes on their backs, they brought with them a rich and proud heritage—one that I am especially excited to share with S. (who happens to be named after my maternal grandmother, Zofia).

The Christmas season is one of the most decorated times of the year in Polish culture. It is a time to reflect and to celebrate family, friends, and faith—the true reason for the season. As (over-)consumerism becomes seemingly more rampant each year, it is a sound and grounding reminder for me that the best, most lasting gifts take on unexpected forms. I can’t tell you what my favorite gift was growing up, or for which Christmas I received it—my memory fails me in that regard. I can tell you, however, that for as long as I can remember, Christmas Eve (Wigilia) in my home was one of the more magical days of the year. We awoke to a tree full of gifts and stuffed stockings that Mikolaj (Santa) had brought us the night before, and preparations for dinner were already underway as my mother made the uszka (dough dumplings) for the barszcz (beet soup) from scratch. Now, mind you, there was NO opening of gifts allowed until well AFTER said dinner. This was a fine lesson in patience, to say the least. Once the first star appeared in the sky, we would exchange oplatek, a Christmas wafer. We each offered a piece of our oplatek to one another, and exchanged wishes and blessings such as good health and happiness for the coming year. Following Polish custom, my parents would set an extra place-setting at the dinner table, in remembrance of family members no longer with us.

Traditions such as Wigilia are now entrusted to me to continue in my own family. My heritage is undoubtedly a significant part of my identity—perhaps now more than ever in my role as a mother. I already envision the day that we take Sofia to Poland and introduce her to this identity that also very much lives in her: to meet her relatives, visit the homes her grandparents grew up in, and walk along the forest in the countryside that still belongs to our family; to enjoy a Sunday afternoon Chopin piano concert at Lazenki Park and walk through the Sukiennice Hall in Krakow which has served as a marketplace since the 14th century. I wish all of my fondest memories of Poland and more for my daughter.

When I am having a trying day, I think of my parents at this time in their lives and feel very humbled in retrospect. They left behind their families, professions, and all the comforts of home to begin a new existence in a country whose language and customs were entirely foreign to them. With strength and resolve, they established a tight-knit family, paid off our home in fewer than ten years, and sent three children to private colleges and graduate schools (perhaps they should write a book on fiscal responsibility and market it to the banks?). They laid a framework for the values and ideals that I want Sofia to learn the most: hard work, honesty, and ambition; the belief in opportunities and the ability to achieve great things; the strength of the human spirit; and the importance of family, traditions, and heritage. These are the gifts that no amount of money can buy.

What types of traditions are you excited to share with your little one this holiday season? What new traditions are you beginning with your family?

Barb Tague is a Chicago transplant currently living in Conshohocken with her husband, Brian, their 18-month-old daughter, S., and a rambunctious pug named Annabelle. She works part-time as a Marketing Specialist and in her free time enjoys running, traveling, and watching her little girl grow up before her eyes.

Looking to make some new friends? Join our moms’ group to take advantage of MLP’s resources, events and promotions or sign up for our eNewsletter to find out what’s happening in our group and on the Main Line for families!

By Jennifer Zohn
Photo courtesy of Tom Ammon Photography

I came across this quote while I was still basking in the dew of childbirth, in the celebratory arrival of my very first son, and it’s stuck with me ever since:

Making the decision to have a child is momentous.
It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

­–Elizabeth Stone

It seemed so appropriate at the time (and still does), given that I could neither quantify nor adequately express the love I felt for this newly-born creature. Indeed, it seemed clear that my heart was no longer my own; it was, instead, on the face of my little boy, its pulse now dependent upon the rise and fall of his every breath. I remember telling my sweet, tiny baby, over and over: How foolish of me! I didn’t realize it was you in there! All along, it was you. I kept wishing that I’d known I was carrying what was, in my estimation, this perfect gift; I had no idea what an honor it would feel like in retrospect. I was madly in love from the moment I laid eyes on him. Now I’d say the feeling is mutual.

Even though I couldn’t really predict the power of our mother-son bond, I did become incredibly attached to my growing belly over the course of my pregnancy. I lived for the thump of E.’s heartbeat and the swoosh of his movements. I wrote him letters, sang him songs—I even played classical music for him through my headphones (because I love it, but also because I’d hoped to sprout a mini-Mozart—the jury’s still out on that one). I took countless photographs of The Bump, marking each with its precise gestational age. In my home, the shift in obsessively-photographed subjects moved rapidly from cat to tummy to baby in a matter of one year; who knew that both the kitty and belly would seriously pale in comparison once the child arrived? Once I found out I was having a boy (I’m impatient like that), I nicknamed him Belliott (see official given name: Elliott). I drank orange juice every morning (OK, all day) and lay down immediately afterward, anticipating the fetal sugar high that would send him bouncing around his little placenta-powered apartment. We had fun, my boy and I. Forgive me the invocation of Savage Garden, but—I knew I loved him before I met him.

Pregnancy is a dichotomy in that it’s at once ordinary and astoundingly miraculous. Each experience is unique, and every expecting woman has her own relationship with her bump/bulge/bean/bun-in-the-oven. Bonding with your belly and the baby inside can be an important, deeply personal part of preparing for your new arrival. Here’s what a couple of our moms told me about their navel-gazing days past:

From Ruth Henninger

“As I child, I always loved reading; as an adult, I still do. I must have been a huge fan of the bedtime story, because I still get a sense of comfort from reading before I turn out the light at night. Reading was also a big treat for me. I remember with great happiness the times when all of us in the family would snuggle in my parents’ big bed and read together. I always knew I would want to share this ritual with my own children someday.

As soon as we found out we were pregnant, my husband and I made the decision to start reading to our baby. Having been a teacher, I had a box of picture books in storage that I had very intentionally kept to myself. They came out, and every night one of us would read. When I told people we were doing this, though, I got some peculiar looks! Why would I be reading to a child who can’t necessarily hear? Why picture books when the baby can’t see the pictures? For us, it was simple: a chance to bond as a family in a way that meant a great deal to us as a couple. Reading to our unborn daughter set a wonderful pattern in motion for the three of us. It established a routine and allowed us to set aside special time each day with our baby.”

From Sarah Bond

“At my 12-week appointment, after I got pregnant with some science, my midwife introduced me to my baby’s heartbeat. The small, doppler-amplified beat was music to my ears and brought tears to my eyes. When I got home, I asked the Internet about this amazing device. Turned out, I could have one of these machines for about $100–in fact, I found someone on Craigslist willing to part with hers for even less!

I found that extra little heartbeat in my belly a few times a week through my early pregnancy, early in the morning and late at night, whenever I wanted to remind myself of the joy of our accomplishment.”

So, what have you done to bond with your bellies? We’d love it if you shared your stories with us.

Of all the clichéd advice I received as a pregnant woman, beyond the “Sleep while you can!”s and the “Your life will never be the same!”s, the one piece I wish I’d appreciated the most was to cherish the time I had with my son curled up in my womb: safe from the world (in at least some sense), close to my heart, and mine alone. Looking back at my 42nd week of pregnancy, even remembering the misery of sciatica, the late-July heat, and the endless “Baby, yet?” inquiries, I can still recall the pre-baby luxuries I’ll never get back. But it isn’t independence, quiet, or even sleep I miss the most. It’s having E. to myself. The other night, as I held his sleepy body, now long and lean and strong, I realized (with a sob) that the day will soon come when I can no longer scoop him up into my arms and kiss him to my heart’s content. They grow. They change. You love them more and more as they do. But I can’t help but wish for the ability to freeze time now and then. And sometimes, for a moment or two, I wish I could reverse it: back to simpler days, when my son and my heart were still part of my body, to hold near and dear before setting them free.

A special thanks goes out to Ruth Henninger for the inspiration on this topic!

Hey, Expectant Mamas! There’s an upcoming event at the Please Touch Museum, and it’s just for you!

Please Touch Museum®, the most exciting place for children in Philadelphia, along with Save-A-Tot and Family Wellness Solutions present “Expectant Moms (and Dads) Bootcamp”. We will conquer some of the most exciting and pressing new mommy and daddy questions and help you prepare for the amazing and exciting changes your family is about to experience!

Bootcamp Features:

• Infant 101
• Ten Things Nobody Talks About Before Baby (But We Will!)
• Keeping Intimacy Alive: Communication Tools for Every New Parent
• To Pack or Not to Pack? What You Need to Have for Your Trip to the Hospital
• From Glass Top to Foam Trim: Preparing Your Home for a New Arrival

Also included:

• Complimentary gift bags (with lots of great goodies) for each registered family
• Hundreds of dollars worth of amazing door prizes
• Continental breakfast buffet

Price: $50 per person or $90 per couple

Click here to register!

About the Author

Jennifer Zohn is the Editor-in-Chief for Main Line Parent and mom to one-year-old E., a curly-headed boychick who keeps her busy and laughing. She has a Bachelor’s degree in Music, which comes in handy when you’re sick of The Wheels on the Bus. She enjoys writing, cooking, lingering over a barrel of coffee, learning web design, playing viola, and singing at the top of her lungs. Her husband is a Saint. The three live in Ardmore with a mean cat and too many obsolete Apple products. Tweet with her@jennyzohn.

Looking to make some new friends? Join our moms’ group to take advantage of MLP’s resources, events, and promotions or sign up for our eNewsletter to find out what’s happening in our group and on the Main Line for families!

By Ellen Sanders

I love the winter holiday season—it is absolutely my favorite time of year. I don’t even mind the cold and, quite frankly, can’t imagine a warm-weather Christmas. This year, though, I’m looking forward to it more than ever. My daughter, C., is 15 months old, and to see it through her eyes is going to be so exciting and heartwarming. She’s at the age where everything she comes across is a curiosity: something to be explored and studied. I’m pretty sure she’s going to be blown away by the decorations, particularly the lights. But beyond the festive music, décor, and family fun lies the question, what are we going to get her from Santa? There are toys and games (featured in one of the 700 catalogs that have been delivered to our house) that have me thinking, “She would love that!” I’ll admit it’s been hard to restrain myself. That said, I’ve decided to make this holiday less about getting lots of gifts and more about being thoughtful in my gift-buying. I’m hoping to set the precedent in our house that Christmas is not only about receiving, but also about giving back. This year, I’d like to focus on buying products that help the environment, support small businesses, or contribute to a charity I believe in.

In deciding what to get, I obviously had to start with something that C. will love now and that will grow with her. Whenever we go somewhere that has a child-sized table and chairs, she goes immediately for it, climbs up on a chair, and bangs her hands around happily on the table. We have to get one for her! I found an unfinished, customizable set made from Parawood on Amazon. All of the wood used is harvested from plantation rubber trees that no longer produce enough usable latex. I love that it comes from a sustainable source–that means I can make both my child and Mother Earth happy at the same time. I’ll also be ordering from Amazon through the RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) online shopping mall and will, in turn, be making a contribution to that organization. You can give to a charity of your choice while shopping online at one of your favorite stores, too. Visit nonprofitshoppingmall.com or we-care.com to choose from their extensive lists of charities, and shop away!

I’ve talked to a few other moms in the area and asked them what kinds of gifts they’ll be buying for their kids this year. I have to say, I was really impressed (but not surprised) with all the thought that is being put into gift-giving.

Maureen got PlasmaCars for both of her kids, D. (7) and T. (5). This ride-on toy is controlled by the child through the steering wheel and works by harnessing the forces of inertia, centrifugal force, and friction. It has no batteries, no pedals, gears, or electrical parts, which means it is also eco-friendly!

Caitlin has three daughters, T. (5), A. (3), and M. (1); she also has stepdaughter, K. (15). She says they have way too much stuff. This year, they’ll be unwrapping something less tangible in the form of a family membership to either the Please Touch Museum or the Adventure Aquarium. The family also has plans to adopt a dog through Finding Shelter at the upcoming local Santa Paws event. The girls have been begging for one and Caitlin and her husband feel it’s a great way to teach them about responsibility.

Jennifer, mom to E. (1), decided to do most of her shopping on Etsy this year in order to support small businesses–she says dealing with artists and sellers one-on-one is charming, efficient, and satisfying for both parties. One thing she found were these recycled crayons from Red Elm Designs that come in a variety of really fun shapes.

Here are some great items worth considering from beloved children’s toy makers:

• Melissa & Doug‘s Geometric Stacker (recommended age: 2 years and up); it comes with 25 durable pieces (all made of solid wood) to match and stack on a solid base. It’s perfect for building shape, color, and size differentiation skills.

• Plan Toys‘ Baby Walker (recommended age: 10 months to 3 years) is a fan favorite. It has an adjustable handle, a low center of gravity, and 24 natural and colored unit blocks that make this cheerful looking and useful toy a must for any collection. Made from recycled rubber wood and colored with natural stains.

• Check out this Red Retro Kitchen from Kid Kraft (recommended age: 36 months to 8 years)! Made of wood, this play kitchen has doors that open and close, knobs that click and turn, and tons of convenient storage space.

• Sprig Toys’ Eco-Trucks: Look for these toy trucks made of an eco-friendly wood-plastic composite at O’Doodles toy store in Chestnut Hill. Each truck is fully equipped with flip-open cabs and easy-grab handles, making each freewheeling vehicle inviting and a cinch to maneuver. Recommended for ages 3 and up.

• B. Toys‘ B. Parum Pum Pum Drum (recommended for ages 18 months to 3 years). The drum has a big handle and strap and can be played with the silly centipede drumsticks; there are 8 other instruments inside, including jingle bell ants, busy bee maraca and clacker, a cute caterpillar tambourine, and 2 shaka-shaka eggs. All of the products, as well as the packaging, are made from recycled materials. In addition, every B. toy you buy gives 10¢ to Free The Children, a nonprofit that aims to rescue children from poverty and exploitation and free young people from the notion that they are powerless to effect positive change.

For something a little different, how about these handknit Peruvian finger puppets?

• Sold at Ten Thousand Villages: 10 different fuzzy, cheerful animal finger puppets are great for toddler play. Handmade and adapted from traditional alpaca wool clothing knitted by female artisans of Manos Aymaras in the village of Chucuito on Lake Titicaca.

A friend and I recently came across these beautiful and timeless toys at the new pucciManuli in the Ardmore Farmers’ Market. They carry these and other finely crafted toys, games, and gifts for children of all ages—check them out and welcome them to town!

• Wooden Yo-Yos and Spinning Tops: Handcrafted in limited quantities by an artisan in Austria, these wooden yo-yos and spinning tops are a treasure to behold. They are made from a variety of woods native to Europe and produced in unique color combinations. Each creation comes with its very own beige, micro-fiber suede pouch.

Basically, what I’ve found is that there are many ways to consciously give back this holiday season (and all year long, for that matter). Whether we try to make our children’s playthings greener, consider our options for charitable giving, or simply choose to shop at a small business instead of a Big Box, we parents can make a difference… while also making merry.

Listed below, find even more that fits the bill:

Eco-friendly

Magic Cabin

Child Trek

Down to Earth Toys

ImagiPlay

Diapers.com’s Green Baby

Charitable

Nonprofit Shopping Mall Online

We Care

Kohl’s Cares For Kids

Borders’ National Holiday Book Drive

Local Shops

Nurture

pucciManuli

O’Doodles

Lucky Duck Toys

Character Development

Pun’s Toys

Happy Holidays and Happy Shopping!

About the Author

Ellen Sanders is the Events Manager and Associate Editor for Main Line Parent. She lives in Ardmore with her husband, Doug, and their one-year-old daughter C., who constantly amazes and amuses them. Ellen has a B.A. in English and is happy to finally be using it in the manner in which she intended. In her spare time, Ellen loves to read, find recipes that will be yummy and healthy for the family, and catch up on movies that have been on her “Must See” list for the past year. For right now, her life is simply better than she could have ever envisioned.

Looking to make some new friends? Join our moms’ group to take advantage of MLP’s resources, events, and promotions or sign up for our eNewsletter to find out what’s happening in our group and on the Main Line for families!

By Sarah Bond

Any big purse or tote easily works as a diaper bag, and will continue to be useful long after diaper days are over. The clever mom with this Coach Hamptons Tote (above) was the envy of many at our first Monday Morning Coffee Meet-up. She was prepared to entertain all the toddlers with her bag of fun toys, books, and snacks.

Other Main Line Moms have been spotted with these great bags, a high-end tote from Herve Chapelier (top left) and an affordable impulse buy from 9West (top right). Both are roomy with strategic pockets to keep moms organized. The turquoise Kenneth Cole Reaction bag (above) is also great for short outings with an older baby.

As for me, I’ve had my eye on this Etienne Aigner Athena Tote for a while as a smaller version of my Marka bag, which I transformed from laptop carrier/work bag to the ultimate tote for everything a mom could need, from diapers to snacks to toys.

This trend of using “un-diaper bags” can be quite freeing. Grabbing a purse with the essentials for mom and baby instead of a designated diaper bag is like getting out of your mom-uniform by wearing wedges once in a while.

By Sarah Bond
Photos Courtesy of Sarah Bond

When I get in the mood, I go all out for my holiday cookies. Last year I decided to make poinsettia sugar cookies with a special cutter from fancyflours, my favorite baking supply company. I spread the work over three days, so there was plenty of time for the royal icing to harden and so I wasn’t spending 8 hours on them in one day.

Day 1: Made the dough and baked the cookies.

No Fail Sugar Cookies with an Orange Twist
This is a great recipe when using cookie cutters. It doesn’t spread! Your cookies will be the same shape after you bake them as they were before. Makes up to 8 dozen 3” cookies, but is easy to cut in half.

Carefully stack and seal them in a container or large ziplock bags to retain freshness.

Day 2: Flood icing layer.

So I sat looking at the poinsettias, a little disappointed (because I was out of red coloring). But then, inspiration struck…

I remembered that I had some dark red sanding sugar in my pantry! But since my cookies were already dry, the sanding sugars wouldn’t stick. Undeterred, I misted them with some egg white and water and dipped them in the sanding sugar, which made them look great! I even added a bit of green royal icing and yellow nonpareils. My husband thought they were beautiful… but I wanted to give them one more touch.

Day 3: Finishing touch.

Armed with burgundy coloring the next day (Thanks to my Mum for dropping off more supplies!),  I added the final layer of royal icing. I found it easiest to use a disposable piping bag with a very small hole cut to dispense the icing, but you can also use freezer zip-locks. I drew most of the petals with one swoop of my icing bag and then I traced the outlines of any remaining outer petals.

They were a really big hit at the cookie swap and a holiday dinner for our extended-family. I enjoy fancy culinary art projects like this once or twice a year and I’m brainstorming ideas for our Main Line Moms Holiday Party and Cookie Swap coming up in a couple weeks.

Where do you look for your holiday cookie inspiration? Do you have any recommendations (or challenges?!) for me this year?

About the Author

Sarah Bond is mom to one-year-old k and two-year-old Hailey (her golden retriever). She enjoys connecting with other moms online and then meeting in person, supporting local businesses and growing with a community for families in the Philly ‘burbs. You can read more about Sarah’s story here.

Looking to make some new friends? Join our moms’ group to take advantage of MLP’s resources, events and promotions or sign up for our eNewsletter to find out what’s happening in our group and on the Main Line for families!

By Jennifer Zohn
Photos Courtesy of Jennifer Zohn

We are official Train People, my son and I. We love ‘em. So when his birthday rolled around last summer, I knew we had to take our first trip to the Strasburg Railroad out in Lancaster County, PA. We had a thoroughly enjoyable time. E.’s love of trains has since grown to epic proportions—we’ve got loads of choo-choo paraphernalia in our house: from wooden tracks and magnetic cars to squishy trains and whistles, we’re on our way to becoming a veritable train-toy museum (and it’s only in part for the child–I get quite a few kicks out of this stuff, too).

The Strasburg Railroad, dating back to 1832, features an authentic vintage steam train, whose beautifully-maintained cars are kept warm by the burning coals of a potbelly stove in each. The train itself is an exhibit to be admired, and the 45-minute ride through the picturesque countryside of Lancaster County adds an extra element of awe. (Read more about the railroad’s fascinating history here.)

If I had to come up with an idea that would make the experience more magical, I’d probably suggest something impossible, like finding the real Santa Claus and inviting him to take up residence in the caboose for the holidays—you know, when he’s not busy. Turns out, the folks at Strasburg already thought of that. And they’ve been doing it for years. I’m not from around these parts, so Santa’s Paradise Express was news to me. When I heard about it, I got a bit giddy with anticipation. After our visit there last weekend, I plan to make it a tradition my son can look forward to every Christmas season. Read on to see why you, too, should make a day-trip out there this month for the love of all things jolly.

After about an hour’s drive down Route 30 and a lovely trip through the countryside into Strasburg, we arrived at the Railroad, where the Halls were surely Decked! My son was immediately enthralled with the steam engine rolling through, repeatedly exclaiming “Yeah-Yeah!” (his odd-but-charming alternative to Chugga-Chugga); we were impressed with the transformation into a holiday wonderland–a much different scene than we last saw in July. The sounds of Christmas carolers warming up their voices mingled with the conductors’ period-appropriate announcements–a visit to the Strasburg Railroad transports you back to the early 20th-century, when these trains still carried passengers through Pennsylvania. Amazingly, they are still pristine.

We were there on the early side, so we had a chance to grab a snack at the Trackside Cafe and enjoy the surroundings. We even got a sneak-peak of Santa and his beautiful helper!

A pair of jovial conductors were pleased to pose for a picture. In my two visits to the Railroad, I couldn’t help but notice how happy everyone working there is. It really makes for a great experience.

When it was time to climb aboard, we got on first (noticing a theme of enthusiasm?). Just look at the interior of this Coach car! And check out the happy little boy seated upon the plush accommodations. We were nice and toasty, thanks to the heavenly warmth emanating from the coal-burning stove. I could’ve stayed there all day long and into the night.

We began to chug along, and soon after the conductor collected our tickets–totally in character!–we were surprised with the entertainment of a pair of strolling musicians: two lovely women playing Christmas favorites on their horns. Equally lovely carolers followed later. We sat back, enjoyed the sights and sounds, and knew we were making a memory.

Around the time that we made it from Strasburg to Paradise, Santa appeared in our car, full of chuckles and a trick up his sleeve–a slinky, to be exact–for the apprehensive little ones. He spent quite a bit of time with us on both of his trips through the train, and it was a delight to hang with Saint Nick in such a whimsical setting. In all of my excitement, I forgot to tell him what I wanted this year. (Santa, if you’re reading this, I’d love a nap.)

All the fun wore the little man out by the end of our trip. I snapped this precious father-son moment before we exited the train.

While we waited for a preview of the photos they (professionally) shot for us during the ride, we bought some delicious fudge (who can resist?!), browsed the gift shops (FILLED with great gifts for kids from 1 to 92), and got to see the conductors prepare the engine for its next trip. We didn’t even have time to enjoy the storybook readings of holiday classics or a ride on the Tinsel Trolley, but our experience was fabulously full. See a list of the Railroad’s fun extras here.

Santa’s Paradise Express runs every weekend until Christmas, with many departures throughout the late morning and afternoon. Purchase tickets online to ensure your preferred time, or simply view the schedule of availability and make plans! While you’re browsing their website, explore the Strasburg Railroad’s many year-round offerings–they’ve got something for everyone, including dining in one of their beautifully-appointed dining cars! I’m talking wine and cheese, entire Pennsylvania Dutch meals, live entertainment… even Murder Mystery dinners! And I’ll whisper this in case the little ones are within earshot: Thomas the Train has been known to take over Strasburg two weekends every Fall. He’s a bit of a popular visitor.

This weekend, the Strasburg Railroad is giving back. From their website:

“Adding to the festivities on December 4 and 5, join Women & Babies Hospital as they celebrate their 10th anniversary with special activities and gifts… all part of the Santa’s Paradise Express! Celebrate the season of giving by bringing a coloring book or crayons to the railroad on December 4th or 5th. These items will benefit Carter’s Corner at Women & Babies Hospital. Learn about Carter’s Corner here.”

In addition, on December 3, 10, and 17, the nearby Choo Choo Barn will be hosting Canned Food Fridays, the donations from which will all go to the Chester County Food Bank.

I hope you’ll enjoy a little Paradise this holiday season out in Lancaster County. The Strasburg Railroad is a Pennsylvania gem; how lucky we are to be but a hop, skip, and a jump down Route 30!

About the Author

Jennifer Zohn is the Editor-in-Chief for Main Line Parent and mom to one-year-old E., a curly-headed boychick who keeps her busy and laughing. She has a Bachelor’s degree in Music, which comes in handy when you’re sick of The Wheels on the Bus. She enjoys writing, cooking, lingering over a barrel of coffee, learning web design, playing viola, and singing at the top of her lungs. Her husband is a Saint. The three live in Ardmore with a mean cat and too many obsolete Apple products. Tweet with her@jennyzohn.

Looking to make some new friends? Join our moms’ group to take advantage of MLP’s resources, events, and promotions or sign up for our eNewsletter to find out what’s happening in our group and on the Main Line for families!

]]> http://mainlineparent.com/2010/12/choo-choo-cha-boogie-and-a-ho-ho-ho/feed/ 1 http://mainlineparent.com/2010/12/choo-choo-cha-boogie-and-a-ho-ho-ho/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Mainlinemoms/~3/H2v-9JPVPWk/ http://mainlineparent.com/2010/11/its-the-most-wonderful-time-of-the-year/#comments Sun, 28 Nov 2010 17:26:58 +0000 Jennifer http://mainlineparent.com/?p=2910 Main Line families ushered in the hap-happiest season of all at Ardmore’s Suburban Square on Saturday.

By Jennifer Zohn

Christmas made its grand entrance onto Suburban Square this Thanksgiving Weekend, with the arrival of Santa Claus on horse-drawn carriage! Children of all ages gathered in eager anticipation as they mingled with Mrs. Claus, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, and a mighty sweet and helpful Elf to complete the ensemble. Santa’s Friends distributed holiday coloring books and crayons to the excited masses, and cheerfully posed for photographs with anyone who asked.

Despite the wicked wind, Main Line School of Rock’s Delta Squad, a classic-rock band populated by talented youngsters from our area, played to an enthusiastic crowd. (Impressive chops, guys and gals! Keep it up!) I was thrilled to hear them rock and roll and will be seeking out the school’s performances from now on. The youngest children there got to experience their first rock concert and Santa all at once. Kind of a big day, no?

Perhaps you don’t know, as I wasn’t aware prior to the event, but the Ardmore Farmers’ Market has a new kid in town: Cupcakes Gourmet, whose full-scale bakeries are located in Malvern and Wayne. The free mini-cupcakes handed out to passers-by did justice to their slogan, “Dreamy, Decadent, Divine.” Complemented by cups of Joe from One Village Coffee (sustainable, local brews), the treats helped ease the harshness of the bluster outdoors. I know I’ll be a frequent customer this winter (you can’t imagine this cupcake-lover’s excitement).

Macy’s provided a very cute little set-up for children to create and deposit their letters to Santa. My one-year-old ate a crayon, instead, but I saw lots of little ones excitedly drop their wishes into the big, red mailbox. There was a sign reminding us all to Believe: perhaps it isn’t in Santa for the grown-ups, but in the joy and magic that the holiday season can bring.

We made our way upstairs to Macy’s kids’ department where Santa had taken refuge from the cold (and he thought the North Pole was bad!). The main attraction, of course, was a free photograph with the man himself, and though there were many waiting to take advantage, the line to see him was amazingly efficient. Among the lap-dwellers were the requisite trepidation-stricken toddlers (mine included), but let us not pretend that isn’t part of the fun (sorry, kids!). Santa was accommodating, ringing sleighbells with the littlest ones and posing long enough for parents to get their own photos in addition to the Polaroids we received. I was so excited to have a Polaroid picture in my hands for the first time in years!

For the parents, there were Friends & Family passes (25% off regular, sale, and clearance items!) to enjoy at Macy’s between December 1st and 6th.

I ran into Main Line Moms Ellen and Suzanne and their adorable little Elves, too. The kids had a blast and taught their parents a thing or two about toughing it out for a good time. We went home with cold noses but happy hearts.

Suburban Square did a fantastic job with their Holiday Kick-Off. I’m excited to attend the upcoming Lighting the Menorah event this week. Presented by Chabad Center for Jewish Life, this celebration will take place on December 1st, the first night of Hanukkah. There will be a rooftop-menorah car parade and some traditional food and activities prior to the lighting of the Suburban Square menorah in the Courtyard. My mixed family has plenty to enjoy this holiday season right outside our doorstep. See Main Line Parent’s Holiday Events post for details about this and more, and let us know where in the neighborhood we can find you and yours this December!

For your holiday shopping needs, checking out Suburban Square’s first-ever Gift Guide! In addition to the wonderful shops we’ve enjoyed here for years, there are many new ones to welcome to the neighborhood: Paper Source and Brookstone are two of my personal favorites (I’m also anticipating the opening of Sweetgreen!). And don’t forget to warm up with a Starbucks Gingerbread Latte after you’ve done a little damage.

About the Author

Jennifer Zohn is the Editor-in-Chief for Main Line Parent and mom to one-year-old E., a curly-headed boychick who keeps her busy and laughing. She has a Bachelor’s degree in Music, which comes in handy when you’re sick of The Wheels on the Bus. She enjoys writing, cooking, lingering over a barrel of coffee, learning web design, playing viola, and singing at the top of her lungs. Her husband is a Saint. The three live in Ardmore with a mean cat and too many obsolete Apple products. Tweet with her@jennyzohn.

Looking to make some new friends? Join our moms’ group to take advantage of MLM’s resources, events, and promotions or sign up for our eNewsletter to find out what’s happening in our group and on the Main Line for families!

By Jonathan Butz

Once born, that intimacy continues. Mothers maintain that closeness, still centered around their middles while breastfeeding, sharing warmth and time. Even as the child begins to walk, ranging farther and longer, exploring an ever-expanding world, there is still extended mother time.

But I have found a way to share some of that intimacy at bedtime.

When the last feeding is through, and the last bouts of energy have faded, I carry her upstairs. Holding her facing me, legs wrapped around my waist, my arms beneath her, we walk slowly in the dim hallway.

Sometimes she fusses, grasping at objects we pass, wanting to explore some final thing before sleeping, and I whisper soft things to her. I tell her not to fight the sleep, to welcome it, that she’s earned it. I tell her that I’ve got her, that I’ll always have her.

Her head slowly rests against me. I kiss the top of her head and smile. Her smell is so familiar, something of her mother and me and something entirely her own. Her arms relax finally; sometimes they fall. Her breathing evens and deepens, stirring briefly and settling again.

With her sleeping nestled against me, sharing warmth and quiet, I find that deeper peace that her mother has known since before her days were counted, and sometimes I walk much longer than she needs, just to listen to her breathing and wonder what she dreams.

About the Author

Jonathan is dad to one-year-old “k” and an IT Manager in the Philadelphia area who researches technology purchases for a living and whenever something new is needed.

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By Jennifer Zohn

Thanksgiving isn’t just about the turkey, trimmings, and tryptophan (though if the latter will grant us all a few hours’ worth of extra sleep, wouldn’t that be something for which to give thanks?!). It’s my favorite time of year—a chance to remind myself of my blessings, large and small. Two years ago this Thanksgiving, I found out I was pregnant with my son, so the holiday feels even more special to me now than ever. I’m grateful that, thanks to my baby boy, I’ve got an inspiring new lens through which to view the world. That, and some serious upper-body strength! Though we endure many challenges along this path, it remains an easy assignment to share how motherhood lends itself to gratitude. I wondered what you all were giving thanks for this season, and got some great responses:

“I am thankful for the sound of my son’s laughter. It was well worth the thirty-plus hours of labor.”
Jeanne Gargan Polidori

“S. wakes up each morning with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes, with the ability to love abundantly and without presumption. It is a simple and profound reminder for me of how life ought to be lived, and leaves me in great awe.”
Barb Tague

“I think what I am thankful for most of all is just how deeply I have come to appreciate how imperfect I am and how imperfect life is in general–and yet  I am still very, very happy. I love my husband, my daughter, and how every day is a different, challenging adventure that ultimately brings the three of us closer together… In short, I guess that I’m thankful that “happily ever after” can exist even if it has to include poopy diapers, deadlines for papers, and some creative cooking techniques.”
Amber Atwood Levy

“Since I became a mom, I’ve felt a level of gratitude greater than ever before in my life. Besides the obvious appreciation I have for my family, especially my husband and daughter, this year I’m particularly thankful for two things. First, I’m so grateful for my mom-friends: they’ve cheered me on my accomplishments, bolstered me when I was feeling down, and given me insight and support when I needed it. These relationships are so precious to me. Secondly, I feel that over the past year I’ve become more the person I’m meant to be. I’m more self-confident and outgoing,but I hope I’m more empathetic and patient also. I can’t wait to see what this year brings.”
Ellen Sanders

“I am so thankful for the gift of precious life. I feel so blessed to be living out my dream of being a mother to a wonderful, happy, and healthy baby. I love being able to nurture and teach him and watch the wonder in his eyes at each new experience.”
Jennifer Gail

“This year, there are so many things to be thankful for: my awesome husband, who works his behind off and still manages to vacuum the whole house for me on the weekends; my incredible parents and in-laws who jump in at a moment’s notice if we ever need a hand; and, most of all, for my incredible daughter, L., who literally brought the sunshine with her when she arrived last Spring. I am truly one blessed momma.”
Sara Scholer Frascella

“This year I am especially thankful to be a part of the Main Line Moms community. I’ve learned so much from the smart, sweet, witty women I’ve met through playdates, moms’ nights out, and special events.”
Sarah Bond

Thank you to those who took the time to share these sentiments with our wonderful community of moms–certainly one of the gifts for which I, too, feel a special gratitude this season! It’s always fascinating and humbling to discover how much we all share along our otherwise unique journeys in mothering our children. Many thanks to those who show up for our moms’ outings, contribute thoughtful discussion, reach out to others on our behalf–even to those who simply log on to feel connected. We are thankful for you.

It isn’t too late to add to this list, moms! E-mail me (jennifer.zohn@mainlineparent.com) to tell us what you’re thankful for this year, and we’ll be sure to include it as part of the post.

Wishing you and yours the Happiest of Thanksgiving celebrations and a joyous holiday season ahead!

About the Author

Jennifer Zohn is the Editor-in-Chief for Main Line Parent and mom to one-year-old E., a curly-headed boychick who keeps her busy and laughing. She has a Bachelor’s degree in Music, which comes in handy when you’re sick of The Wheels on the Bus. She enjoys writing, cooking, lingering over a barrel of coffee, learning web design, playing viola, and singing at the top of her lungs. Her husband is a Saint. The three live in Ardmore with a mean cat and too many obsolete Apple products. Tweet with her@jennyzohn.

Looking to make some new friends? Join our moms’ group to take advantage of MLP’s resources, events and promotions or sign up for our eNewsletter to find out what’s happening in our group and on the Main Line for families!

By Ellen Sanders
Photo courtesy of Suburban Square

Philadelphia Thanksgiving Day Parade
Philadelphia boasts the oldest Thanksgiving Day Parade in the nation (dating back to 1920). It’s the official welcoming of the holiday season. This year there will be many exciting guests that the entire family will enjoy seeing, including Disney and Sesame Street characters, the Eagles Cheerleaders, and Santa and Mrs. Claus. The fun starts at 8:30am at 20th Street and JFK Boulevard and commences in front of the Art Museum approximately around noon. Bundle up, pack a thermos of hot chocolate, and find a great spot to delight in the beautiful floats, the music and dancing, and the good cheer.

Santa’s Arrival and Holiday Parade at Suburban Square
On Saturday, November 27, Santa Clause is coming to Suburban Square. At 10am Santa’s friends will be in the Courtyard greeting visitors with goodies. Santa’s horse-drawn carriage parade begins at Trader Joe’s and ends in the Courtyard at 11:00am. The School of Rock Main Line’s “Delta Squad” will be entertaining visitors with seasonal music as they enjoy Cupcakes Gourmet cupcakes and One Village coffee. Santa will be available for free photos with children from 12:00 to 2:00pm at Macy’s. Visitors are asked to please bring a non-perishable food item for PHILABUNDANCE.

Small Business Saturday
Saturday, November 27, 2010 marks the first national Small Business Saturday. With so many local businesses on the Main Line, it’s a great opportunity to support those businesses that create jobs and build relationships in our community. So, don’t do all your shopping on Black Friday and save some holiday gift-buying for Saturday!

Lighting of the Menorah Event at Suburban Square
The Chabad Center for Jewish Life and Rabbi Moishe Brennan host an event to begin this year’s Chanukah festivities on Wednesday, December 1 from 5:30-7:00pm. The evening begins with a car menorah parade starting at Chabad of the Main Line and concluding at the Suburban Square Courtyard. Upon arrival in the Courtyard the lighting the menorah event will take place for all to enjoy. Lower Merion Township Commissioner Brian Gordan will be lighting the menorah in the Courtyard for the fifth year in a row. Additionally, the family will be able to savor traditional Chanukah food and there will be Chanukah crafts and activities for children.

Christmas Around the Farm
The holiday season starts at Linvilla Orchards on Friday, November 26, when guests will have the first opportunity to cut their own Christmas Trees. With over 30,000 trees planted on thirty acres, your family is sure to find the perfect tree. You are provided with a saw and you actually cut the tree down. Staff will then haul it back to the market, wrap it, and secure it to your vehicle. If cutting your own tree is a bit much for you, there are plenty of pre-cut trees available in the Farm Market also. Children can visit with Santa every Saturday and Sunday from 1:00-2:00pm beginning December 1 and running through December
24. Finally, there are Caroling Hayrides December 4, 11, and 18 at 4:30pm where families can enjoy a hayride and then sing carols around the campfire while drinking apple cider and roasting marshmallows.

Chanukah Story Time and Sing Along
Celebrate Chanukah with the entire family with stories, songs, and prizes. On Sunday, December 5 from 1:00-2:00pm Beth David Reform Congregation is sponsoring a Chanukah Story Time and Sing Along at Children’s Book World. LOCATION: 17 Haverford Station Road, Haverford. The event is free and all are
welcome.

A Longwood Christmas
Each year Longwood Gardens transforms their grounds into a winter wonderland and this year is no exception. Beginning November 25 and running through January 9, 2011, there will be half a million lights decorating the trees (both indoor and outdoor), amazing floral displays, and a giant Art Noveau tapestry made from seasonal flora. Further, there are dancing fountain shows set to holiday music every hour (from 10:00am–4:00pm and 5:00-9:00pm). Admission for adults ages 18 and over is $18, for students ages 5 to 18 (or any age with valid student ID) is $8, and children under age 4 are admitted free. In addition to the beautiful displays mentioned above at Longwood, your family can also have the opportunity to have Breakfast with Santa on the following dates: Saturdays, December 11 and 18 and Sundays, December 12 and 19. Each date has a seating at 8:00am and 9:30 am. The cost is $40 for guests 12 and over, $22 for ages 5 to 11, and free for ages 4 and under. This price includes admission to the Gardens, but does not include tax and gratuity.

Gingerbread Workshop
On Saturday, December 11, a Taste of Britain invites you and your child to welcome the holiday season by making a gingerbread house together. An in-house baker will lead the workshop and help you create your own unique gingerbread house using the creative and festive candy supplies provided. You’ll also get a chance to sample complimentary beverages and snacks. The cost is $45.00 per gingerbread house. Call to reserve your seat for 11 am or 3 pm as there is limited space available. 610.971.0390

Children’s Saturday Afternoon Holiday Tea
If you’re looking for something with a touch of refinement while also being fun for the kids, then head to The Radnor Hotel for tea from 1:00-3:00pm on Saturdays this December (4th, 11th, and 18th). The event includes an Afternoon Tea Menu, an appearance by a favorite children’s character, a craft activity, storytelling, and a sing-along accompanied by piano. Each child will also receive a story book gift. This event is ideal for children ages 3 through 8. The cost is $49.95 for 1 child and 1 adult and $24.95 for each additional person (plus tax and service charge). Advanced ticket purchase is required and must be made by 5:00pm the Wednesday prior to the date of the event. 610.341.3191

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By Barb Tague

If you’re like me, you can probably think of five activities as invigorating as discussing long-term financial planning. Cleaning out your hall closet on a Saturday night. A visit to the dentist, anyone? A favorite in my house: tax preparation. As new parents, so much of our daily efforts and attention focus on the day-to-day well-being of our little ones. We obsess over ounces, schedules, percentiles, milestones, and countless other things that characterize everyday parenting. Let’s face it, when my little one is in bed and out for the night, I revel in the thought of curling up on the couch with a good book and relaxing. The hustle and bustle of the everyday seemingly consume us, and there is limited time or energy to contemplate “rainy-day” topics such as your family’s future financial needs. As the busy mom of a toddler, I am the first to admit guilt in living in this mindset!

Yet the decisions we make for our children’s futures are as important (if not more!) as the decisions we make for today. Several weeks ago, a colleague and I were joking about the staggering costs of college. As an investment professional, he determined that when my 17-month-old daughter was of college age, the cost of a private education would run well over SIX figures per year. To be exact, tuition (including room and board) that costs $50,000 per year in 2010 (using my alma mater as an example) will cost $134,639 per year in 2027. If the sticker shock has worn off, you’re probably wondering how these numbers were derived. Investment professionals apply a 6% yearly increase to tuition rates to account for inflation (still very much in disbelief, my first thought was that these numbers were drawn from a lucky lotto six pick). Although inflation rates vary among state universities, private institutions, vocational schools, etc., this is deemed a conservative and realistic estimate.

While a sound approach may involve consulting a professional, there are several options your family can consider in solidifying finances for your little one’s education. Here are just a couple that work for us:

529 College Savings Programs
529 College Savings Programs (or, simply, “529s,” as you may have frequently heard them described) are tax-advantaged college savings programs that are unique to each state. A Pennsylvania 529 college savings account can be opened with as little as $25, and subsequent minimum contributions of $25 or more are made at your discretion. The PA 529 is offered as a Guaranteed Savings Plan (GSP) or an Investment Plan. The GSP fund is managed by the Pennsylvania State Treasury and guarantees that funds invested will keep pace with tuition inflation at the level you choose. The second option, the PA 529 Investment Plan, allows you to select from more than a dozen investment choices managed by Vanguard that range from conservative to aggressive approaches.

Both plans feature tax-deferred growth, state income tax deductions, tax-free withdrawals, low minimum investments, multiple contribution methods, and easy enrollment.

To learn more about the Pennsylvania 529 Plan and to enroll online, visit makecollegepossible.com

Upromise
Upromise is a rewards program that is free to join and allows you to earn money for college with everyday purchases at thousands of retailers. This method of saving for college was a no-brainer for us! Upromise partners with retailers such as Starbucks, Target.com, eBay, Expedia, Amazon.com, Apple Store, and Gap.com; members receive a percentage of their purchases back in a savings account or by linking it to a 529 plan. Every little bit counts and can significantly accumulate in the long run! To learn more and join, visit upromise.com

As I watch our Little Miss grow, thrive, and evolve into an inquisitive, energetic, and endearing little girl, it is hard for me to imagine this child becoming an adult someday and leaving our home. While we would like to freeze time and encapsulate certain moments for eternity, the reality is unavoidable: they WILL grow up and, to our surprise, before we know it. If I had a penny for each time another mother (including my own) told me how quickly her children grew up and left the nest–well, I wouldn’t need to worry about how we will pay for college! We owe it to our little ones to give them the best foot forward in life–including planning for tomorrow today.

See these additional links to get started:
savingforcollege.com: Great Resource site
529s.com: Saving for College the Smart Way
money.cnn.com: Saving for College : Top Things To Know (Money 101)
education.newsweek.com: Saving for College: A Guide for New Parents

Barb Tague is a Chicago transplant currently living in Conshohocken with her husband Brian, their 17-month-old daughter, S., and a rambunctious pug named Annabelle. She works part time as a Marketing Specialist and in her free time enjoys running, traveling, and watching her little girl grow up before her eyes.

By Jonathan Butz
Photos Courtesy of Sarah Bond

Virus Scan – avast! Free
Most computers ship with Symantec or McAfee and a limited subscription after which they prompt you to pay. It is not necessary to do so; there are better free virus scan products to choose.

Step 1 – Download avast! Free
Save it somewhere you can find it again. We’re not installing it just yet.

Step 2 – Find and Remove the current Virus Scan Suite
The best place to check is the System Tray, the collection of icons next to the clock in your taskbar. Hovering over each will tell you which product it is. Once you know it, proceed to the Control Panel. Under XP, click Add/Remove Programs; under Vista/Win7, click Programs and Features. Find the Virus Scan software and Uninstall. Sometimes, there will be more than one product that together comprise the virus scan suite.

Step 3 – Reboot
The un-installation will probably prompt you to reboot. When the system restarts, make sure there are no virus scan icons in the tray. If there are, return to the Control Panel and remove them.

Step 4 – Install avast Free!
Open the folder in which you saved the avast! installer and run it. Do a custom install, don’t join “communities,” and don’t install Google Chrome browser (unless you really want to). There is one feature in avast! that I disable immediately: it talks. If you open the application (via the orange icon in the tray or from the avast folder on the start menu), under Settings/Sound, you can disable the voice-overs or disable every sound from the application.

Step 5 – Register avast!
Within the avast! program, under Maintenance/Registration, enter the appropriate information, which will activate avast!–free for the coming year. When that expires, the product will notify you, and you can register for another year. Note: there is no validation of the registration information; you put in whatever you want.

Defragmentation Software: Defragler
Defragmentation software is designed to put the file parts back together so they can be accessed more efficiently.

When your computer saves files, it writes them in the first available open space. When you delete files, that space is made available for writing new files. The space created by deletion almost never matches the size of new files being written. So the first part of the file may be written to that empty space, and the rest will be written somewhere else.

This is normal behavior, and for small files there is little consequence. There are many file operations behind the scenes, however, performed by the operating system and software that we do not see, and over time, this will result in an increasing percentage of fragmented files. As files become more fragmented, the time required to access them increases because the hard drive read heads must go to more locations to read the entire file.

Step 1 – Download and install Defragler
The defaults are fine.

Step 2 – Analyze you C: Drive
Select the C: drive from the list up top and click Analyze down below.
This will give you a make of the data and show you the level of fragmentation.
If it is higher than 10%, you should definitely do a full “defrag.”
For computers that are on overnight, you can schedule the task under Settings/Options/Schedule. Once a month in the middle of the night for a given drive is sufficient.

Laptop Power Settings – Sleep, Hibernate
If you are running Windows, there is almost never a need to shut down the computer in the traditional sense (Start/Shutdown). There are faster ways to power down and come back up to the very spot you were before. These two methods are referred to by Windows and most laptop manufacturers as Sleep (or Standby) and Hibernate.

Sleep (Standby)
Sleep halts the computer at the current state and shuts everything off except the memory, which is kept active with a small amount of power. Most laptops can remain in Sleep for up to 48 hours depending on the model.

Entering Sleep is very quick, a few seconds. Likewise, resuming from Sleep takes only seconds, making the most efficient way to put your laptop away and bring it back again. All applications and windows will be exactly as they were when you put the computer to sleep.

Hibernate
Hibernation does everything Sleep does except that instead of leaving memory active, it writes everything in memory to a file and powers the computer off completely. A computer can remain hibernated indefinitely. When you resume, the system powers up and reloads the memory from the file. All applications and windows will be exactly as they were when you hibernated.

Change power settings to use Sleep and Hibernate

Control Panel/Power is where all of the settings are for these two modes. Under XP, hibernate is disabled by default, you have to check the box to enable it.
Under the Advanced Power Settings, you can set what different buttons do. (XP, Vista and Windows7 display these options slightly differently)
Set “When you close the lid” to do nothing
Set “Power button action” to Hibernate
Set “Sleep button action” to Sleep

Test your settings

The Sleep button on your keyboard is not obvious–it’s usually F3, where you can see a little crescent moon symbol. Most keyboards also have a function key Fn. Depress Fn+F3 and your computer will enter Sleep mode (provided you have made the changes above). Hit the power button to resume from Sleep.

Hit the power button, and Windows will begin the hibernation process. Once complete, the computer will shut off. Hit the power button again to resume from hibernation.

As a general rule, I only ever put the computer to sleep unless I know I am going to leave it unattended for an extended period. It’s just that much more convenient to be exactly where I was after only a few seconds.

About the Author

Jonathan is dad to one-year-old “k” and an IT Manager in the Philadelphia area who researches technology purchases for a living and whenever something new is needed.

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Here on the Main Line we have so many wonderful independent and family businesses like Mapes, who has been serving this community since 1897. They have four local stores–including their 5&10s in Ardmore and Narberth as well as their True Value in Havertown–and they take great pride in the fact that customers who once shopped in their stores as children bring their children and grandchildren in today.

The first time I stopped in at the Mapes Toy Store in Ardmore, I was very impressed with their extensive inventory and friendly, helpful staff. K. was impressed with the hands-on shopping, since she got a chance to play!

From sporting goods to board games, puzzles, art supplies, and more, they have toys and things for all ages.

Is your house a Thomas the Train house? There are several bins of track as well as a whole wall of trains, sets, and accessories at Mapes.

Ready for another winter? Let’s hope we don’t get as much as last year, though a little bit would be nice now and then with these great sleds at hand!

Take your kids and go explore Mapes Toy Store: it’s a great spot to try out a few new toys and you shipping, of course, is free! We had fun taking these photos, with the hope that you, too, will explore your neighborhood toy store and consider local resources like Mapes for your Holiday shopping this year.

Mapes Ardmore Toy Store
210 W. Lancaster Ave
Ardmore, PA 19003
(610) 658 – 9505

This article was inspired by Saturday’s American Specialty Toy Retailing Association (ASTRA) Neighborhood Toy Store Day. ASTRA is a trade association of independent toy retailers and children’s products, who wants to encourage you to shop local this holiday season. From their website:

Where you shop matters! Independent toy stores are an integral part of their local communities, serving as a resource for families and others interested in encouraging healthy growth through play.

Plus, shopping in locally owned stores keeps much of your purchase dollars in your local community.  It’s a win-win experience: you get great service, creative products, and support local merchants at the same time.

About the Author

Sarah Bond is mom to one-year-old k and two-year-old Hailey (her golden retriever). She enjoys connecting with other moms online and then meeting in person, supporting local businesses and growing with a community for families in the Philly ‘burbs. You can read more about Sarah’s story here.

Looking to make some new friends? Join our moms’ group to take advantage of MLP’s resources, events and promotions or sign up for our eNewsletter to find out what’s happening in our group and on the Main Line for families!

By Jennifer Zohn

Choosing a pediatrician is a bit like choosing a prom date. Bear with me for a moment. You’re 17 and naïve as to what a great prom date might be. For instance, you might value arm-candy over a great listener; it’s possible you’ll eagerly accept an offer from the most desired date in school without weighing your options. If I could do it all over again, wisdom in tow, I’d trade in the basketball star (what’s his name again?) for the euphonium player (still a cherished friend today). I suppose I wasn’t equipped to make sophisticated romantic decisions at 17. And who am I kidding? When I’ve got a teenager of my own, I will surely have a laugh (and perhaps a cringe) over my toddler-parenting days (I was giving ADVICE?). Okay, so maybe choosing your child’s doctor is nothing like deciding onto whose lapel you should pin a carnation, but it is something you might similarly like to revise one day. The lucky thing is, you can change your mind about your pediatrician at any point and reap the benefits for years to come. Prom dates? That decision is immortalized in an 8×10 somewhere. You can’t win ‘em all.

I did my research when I was pregnant with my son. Made a huge fuss over a lot of details that made me feel in control at the time in my life when I knew least what to expect. I read lots of books and blogs and pondered profusely the various parenting “methods” I’d employ. Given that, I must’ve spent ages choosing a pediatrician for my son, right? Wrong. I admit it: I spent more time staring at my registry than I did exploring our child’s medical-care options. I thought I did the right thing in asking for a recommendation from my OB-GYN; when she offered up the name of a doctor with a rock star’s reputation, I scheduled a consultation and figured we’d be set. When I arrived for the interview, I suppose I didn’t quite know what I was doing. I may have had an idea of which questions to ask, but summoning the confidence to present them to an M.D. with an almost celebrity-esque popularity was another story. I came in with a scribbled-upon notepad and a mission—I was hoping to impress her, as if she were going to give me permission to have the kid or not—but the moment I glanced from my protruding navel to the doctor’s knowing eyes, my stiff posture went limp. I went to music school! What did I know about babies or medicine, anyway? I’d wanted to ask all kinds of questions about breastfeeding, office policies, wait-times, staff turnover, etc., but instead I found myself giggling at her self-satisfied jokes like I might at those of a… prom date. I even nodded in submissive agreement when she told me to consult her, never the books. In retrospect, I’m embarrassed: I’m a reader, a learner, and an opinionated (sometimes annoyingly so) defender of my beliefs. Who was I in there? I guess I wanted to love her, to “hire” her on the spot—and I did. So I tucked away my gut discomfort because I simply didn’t believe in myself as my son’s mother quite yet.

Fast-forward a year or so, my baby very much outside of my womb, and I’ve learned a few things about confidence and advocating for my family more assuredly. Despite many redeeming moments and glimmers of hope, my discomfort with our practice hadn’t dismissed itself but, rather, had grown increasingly present. Something had to give: it turned out to be our son’s medical records, as we had them transferred elsewhere. At the interview that led us to our new pediatric practice, the doctor made a point of conveying the notion that she considers us the experts on our son; she stated her intentions to work hand-in-hand with us to provide the best care possible for our individual family. Her respect for our best interests was clear from the start, and her command of her subject inspired confidence in us that we hadn’t yet experienced. I was thoroughly impressed with her obvious expertise, but also her manner. This time around, with renewed aplomb, I asked many of the questions I’d wished I’d asked our first pediatrician, and several that had come up in light of my unhappiness over many months’ time. Her competence shone brightly, as did her loving demeanor; the office was plastered with kids’ pictures and drawings, and we learned that many of her newest patients are the children of those from years past. Our son has been on her roster since his one-year appointment: we’re absolutely thrilled with the change, and haven’t looked back since.

The practice we left is likely an excellent fit for many families—they are quite popular for good reason—but it simply wasn’t right for us. What makes a great pediatrician is completely subject to an individual family’s preferences and concerns, after all. It was the combination of a trusted friend’s recommendation and a bit of experience under my belt that helped me decide to make the move, which at first seemed difficult or awkward to initiate; the truth is, I didn’t have to answer to anyone, and requesting a record-transfer was painless and swift. More importantly, for us, it was the right thing to do.

The process of choosing a pediatrician can certainly seem daunting, and the idea of switching from one practice to another might seem even worse. In hindsight, I can see where I went wrong during my first-and-only consultation with Dr. Wrong. I wish I had been more forthright with the important questions I’d bookmarked in my brain, and the “tests” I’d hoped to administer but became too nervous to follow through on. Here are some of the issues important to me—they reflect concerns I’d had prior to my son’s birth, and problems I experienced repeatedly at our old practice—I was certainly lucky to have a chance to address it all the second time around:

• What are your particular interests in the field of pediatrics? How long have you been practicing?

• How big is your practice? Do you limit the number of patients in order to maintain a sense of intimacy?

• How much time will I  have to express concerns and ask questions when we come in for appointments? What is the process for contacting you after hours, and what can I expect in doing so?

• How long can we expect to wait to be seen by the doctor for a well-baby visit?

• How do you keep sick patients separate from well patients in the waiting area?

• How accessible are appointments on a last-minute, urgent basis?

• Do you utilize a nurse triage system? Will I be able to speak to a qualified medical professional right away if a doctor can’t attend to my call when it comes in?

• What is the turnover rate for your staff?

• What do you provide as support for breastfeeding mothers? What is the extent of your knowledge and experience with breastfeeding? (Of chief importance to me, as I felt my efforts were undermined more than once at our old practice, and had I not had access to support otherwise, I might have failed to nurse my son.)

I was relieved to hear not only what I wanted to hear in response to these and other concerns, but to also find that our new doctor was eager to share personal stories and preferences of her own. It was an excellent opportunity to learn about her as an individual, and left us excited to welcome her into our world. I actually couldn’t wait for my son’s first appointment. Huge sigh of relief: it felt pretty great to find Dr. Right.

What interview questions would you add to this list?

A pediatrician can become a beloved and integral part of a family for a lifetime. The doctor who cared for me as a child also cared for my mother and many other members of my extended family; he visited my grandmother in the hospital when she had terminal cancer; he’s someone I’d call for advice to this day, and I regard him with the utmost respect and affection. I was seeking a doctor who might replicate that for my own children, and I’m quite certain I’ve finally found her.

There are several practices in the area with which our moms have reported wonderful experiences. We’re working on a comprehensive directory to house at Main Line Parent, with the hope that it’ll become a helpful resource for expecting families and those looking to explore other options. Here are three which receive rave reviews, and I am pleased to identify the first as our new pediatric home:

BRYN MAWR PEDIATRICS
Glenbrook Medical Building
864 County Line Rd.
Bryn Mawr, PA 19010
610.525.0560
brynmawrpediatrics.com

ADVOCARE: MAIN LINE PEDIATRICS
701 Montgomery Ave.
Narberth, PA 19072
610.642.9200
advocaredoctors.com/mainlinepeds

DREXEL HILL PEDIATRICS
5030 State Rd., #2-900
Drexel Hill, PA 19026
610.623.9080
drexilhillpeds.com

Please continue to share your picks with us!

For your additional information, several moms in our group have tipped us off to the fact that it is Bryn Mawr Hospital’s Emergency Room which has a pediatrician on call, not Lankenau. You can expect more efficient care at Bryn Mawr as a result. Ask your pediatrician for more advice about this.

About the Author

Jennifer Zohn is the Editor-in-Chief for Main Line Parent and mom to one-year-old E., a curly-headed boychick who keeps her busy and laughing. She has a Bachelor’s degree in Music, which comes in handy when you’re sick of The Wheels on the Bus. She enjoys writing, cooking, lingering over a barrel of coffee, learning web design, playing viola, and singing at the top of her lungs. Her husband is a Saint. The three live in Ardmore with a mean cat and too many obsolete Apple products. Tweet with her @jennyzohn.

Looking to make some new friends? Join our moms’ group to take advantage of MLP’s resources, events and promotions or sign up for our eNewsletter to find out what’s happening in our group and on the Main Line for families!

By Ellen Sanders
Photos Courtesy of Ellen Sanders, Shannon Barth, and Sophia Grace Photography

I’m someone who really strives to stay present in every day. It can be overwhelming and counterproductive to dwell on the past or project too far into the future. I could easily make myself crazy with “what might have been”s or “what could be”s. I love my life and couldn’t be happier about the road it’s taken. My husband, Doug, is an amazing man; he’s my best friend and greatest support. We have a beautiful, charming, and precocious 14-month old daughter, C., whom I marvel at daily. However, there is one aspect around which I just can’t seem to rein in my thoughts: should we add a second child to our family?

The thing is, prior to my first pregnancy, I’d always imagined I would have two children. Doug and I both agreed that was what we wanted even while we were still dating. I love being a mom and I love seeing my husband as the incredible dad that he is. Perhaps it sounds a bit hokey, but having my own family has made me feel that I have more of a purpose in this world—a way in which I could never have expected. So why, then, are we both questioning if we should go for Number 2?

I know I’m not the only woman who feels this way; I do, however, feel I’m in the minority. Most of my friends or family members have been certain about wanting another child, regardless of age, birth experience, or work status. They may not have been ready right after the birth of the first child, but nearly all of them were sure about having another someday. That’s where I feel I differ now. It’s only very recently that I’ve been able to imagine having a second. Up until this point, I was pretty sure we were going to be “one and done.” And those feelings didn’t begin after the birth of my daughter, but partway through my first pregnancy! I was so excited and thrilled to be expecting, but I was also very sick for the first four months. Even then I started thinking, “How am I going to do this with a toddler?” Crazy, huh? The first one was still in utero and I was wondering about her being two years old and going through it all over again. So much for living in the moment. Eventually, I started feeling better and even began to enjoy my pregnancy (I mean, how can you not love feeling your little one kick at the sound of your voice or get hiccups at the same time every day?), but in the back of my mind remained the notion that maybe this was it.

Thankfully, C. was born healthy and is an amazing little person. We are blessed that she has a pretty easy-going temperament. But let’s be honest: even an “easy” baby can challenge everything you’ve ever known or believed about yourself.

So, on the side of “maybe not” go these thoughts: “There’s no way we’ll have two easy babies—no one is that lucky.” And, “If she was easy and there were times we thought we might lose our minds, how are we going to be able to handle a baby that is fussy, inconsolable, and doesn’t sleep?” Also, “We’re getting older (I’m 35 and Doug is 39); if the next baby is difficult a couple of years down the road, then we’re going to be more tired and less patient, right?” Speaking of age, while it isn’t uncommon for couples to get pregnant in their late 30s and 40s, there are more difficulties and risks involved. First, getting pregnant can take more time. Then, the risk for miscarriage is higher, as are the risks for developing certain complications during the pregnancy, such as gestational diabetes and preeclampsia. Not that it would change our hearts if our child had a chromosomal problem, but that is another possibility and something for which we would need to prepare ourselves. These are all realities that we feel we need to consider before making our decision.

Then we get into the topic of personality traits. It seems, in mine and Doug’s estimation, that C. got the best of both of us. Therefore, we’re convinced the second child will get all the flaws! We joke that if we have another, (s)he’ll doubtless inherit all of the characteristics we like least about ourselves. I know it’s terrible to say, but these are some of the things that have popped into our minds and come out of our mouths. In reality this is improbable, but hey—anything can happen with DNA, right?

For my husband, I think his number one reservation is my welfare. As I mentioned earlier, I had a tough early pregnancy and I think he worries about my ability to be the kind of mom I want to be to C. during that period if I were to have similar symptoms again. Furthermore, we had a disappointing (to say the least) birth experience and I endured a very slow and difficult recovery. It was tremendously difficult for Doug to see me go through this and not be able to take away my pain, while he was also caring for a newborn. These are concerns of mine, too, but I also feel the same way about this as I do the personality: it can’t happen twice, can it? Plus, I’ve taken steps to make sure that the things I can control will be different (i.e. I’ve changed practitioners and where I would deliver). As for the things I can’t control? Well, I suppose I’ll have to leave that in the hands of something greater than myself.

On the other side of this decision are the reasons to try for a second. First and foremost, C. will get to have a sibling. Having two brothers of my own, I know how having a sibling can teach you a lot about relationships: compromise, selflessness, and loyalty. Not to say that children without siblings don’t learn these principles or those children with siblings automatically do. However, I know I learned these values and I wouldn’t trade anything in the world for growing up with my brothers. And while it was fun as a child to have built-in playmates and create many memories, my brothers are even more important to me now as an adult. There are times we have been closer or more distant depending on life’s circumstances, but we share the same beginning to our stories. There is a thread that binds us in a way I am not bound to anyone else. And because we share the same parents, we can laugh with each other about goofy things they’ve said or done and we all just get it. The bottom line for me is that having siblings was invaluable.

Another reason I’d want to have a second child is that I honestly think it could make me a better mother and a better person. I’d have to be more creative, patient, and flexible in my approach. No two children are the same, so what works with C. may not work with Number 2. And isn’t that true with people in general? Not everyone learns the same way, reacts in kind, or simply processes information in the same way as others. So, if I am able to keep an open mind and heart in parenting two different little people—while still maintaining our general philosophy—I imagine I’ll learn a lesson or two in understanding and tolerance along the way, thereby setting a better example for my children.

So, how are we going to make this decision? Well, for now we’re trying to table it. We know if we do have another, we’d prefer the children to be 2-3 years apart, so we don’t need to even start trying for another couple of months at the earliest. I was talking to my GP about this and she told me what some friends of hers did. On a daily basis, you can feel one way or the other very strongly depending on any number of conditions: amount of sleep you’ve had, number of tantrums thrown—or the quantity of food thrown, for that matter! You could vacillate forever, really. Her friends wrote on a calendar each day for a month: either “yes” or “no” depending on their feelings in that moment. At the end of the month, they totaled up the responses and went with the majority (it wound up a yes). I love this idea. It gives a great impression of one’s overall feelings, I think. And because my husband is a facts-and-numbers guy, I think this will give him the data for us to at least gauge where we’re at on the whole.

The fact is, though, this is a decision that needs to be made in our hearts, not our heads. On the one hand, we believe our family is complete with just the three of us, and if it’s not meant to be, we will be more than satisfied with one child. But, I must say, there is this feeling I have that there exists a little soul out there for all of us to welcome home someday. We’ll see. Maybe this time next year we’ll be deciding whether or not we should find out the baby’s gender, or maybe I’ll be applying to graduate school. For today, though, I’m C.’s Mommy, and it’s the best gig I’ve ever had.

About the Author

Ellen Sanders is Ethe vents Manager and Associate Editor for Main Line Parent. She lives in Ardmore with her husband, Doug, and their one-year-old daughter C., who constantly amazes and amuses them. Ellen has a B.A. in English and is happy to finally be using it in the manner in which she intended. In her spare time, Ellen loves to read, find recipes that will be yummy and healthy for the family, and catch up on movies that have been on her “Must See” list for the past year. For right now, her life is simply better than she could have ever envisioned.

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