Make Friends with Your Body

Can you love you...blog radio interview from April 30, 2014

2014-05-07T20:27:00.003-07:00

Jeanne Courtney interviewed by blogtalk radio host Lori Kirstein of TruVoice Communications.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/truvoicecommunications/2014/04/30/can-you-love-you--fat-and-all--just-as-you-are-hint-yes-you-can

2014-05-05T17:20:00.000-07:00

Fat Flash Mob at Powell and Market, San Francisco, May 3

http://youtu.be/kZ67nsDf1E0

Feminism and Size Acceptance

2014-04-21T15:20:00.002-07:00

When I talk or write about size acceptance, I usually jump right into the topic at hand, often some kind of self-help idea for improving self-esteem and body image. Right now I'd like to give a little background on why I see things from a size acceptance perspective to begin with. I'll speak first as a feminist, then as a therapist, then as a fat woman, because each of these identities has something to do with why size acceptance is important to me.

I came to fat liberation through women's liberation. As a feminist, I believe in human rights and respect for diversity. Therefore, I believe in equal rights for people of all sizes, and respect for diverse bodies. As obvious as that connection seems to me now, there was a time when I was so buried in anti-fat discrimiination and disinformation that I couldn't see it. Susie Orbach's classic "Fat is a Feminist Issue," although somewhat controversial in the present day world of fat politics, was an eye opener for me when it came out in 1984. The title alone was enough to revolutionize my thinking.

In addition to a general concern for justice, feminism has a more specific connection with fat liberation. In misogynist societies, women's bodies are objectified. They are simultaneously oversexualized, and forbidden to be too sexual. A fat woman is seen as stereotypically unattractive, not fulfilling her obligation to serve as an ornament in the world run by men. At the same time, "curvy" bodies are supposed to be desirable, as long as they're not too big. One way or another, a woman's body is under scrutiny, and there is pressure to keep it thin to avoid either attracting unwanted sexual attention, or becoming asexual and invisible.

As a feminist, I believe that when we try to shape our bodies, or any aspect of ourselves, to fit external ideals, we capitulate to the system that disempowers us. We give up the power of our diversity. I want us to reclaim and take control of our bodies and our sexuality, and to see ourselves as more than our bodies, and more than our sexuality. Accepting our bodies as they are, at whatever size they are, is a positive step in that direction.

Health at Every Size webinar series

2014-04-21T15:05:00.000-07:00

The Association for Size Diversity and Health announces its first webinar series, Health at Every Size 101.

https://www.sizediversityandhealth.org/content.asp?id=209

May 3 Fat Flash Mobs

2014-04-14T17:51:00.002-07:00

Fat Flash Mobs will dance to "Happy" on May 3 in cities all over the country, including San Francisco. This Oakland dance instructor is giving lessons every Sunday in April especially for the event.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81uhS4RmP8s

More beautiful than you think

2014-04-05T15:29:00.001-07:00

What do you think of Dove's social experiment? Here's their ad

http://www.upworthy.com/2-people-described-the-same-person-to-a-forensic-artist-and-this-is-what-happene?c=reccon1

And here's a critique

http://jazzylittledrops.tumblr.com/post/48118645174/why-doves-real-beauty-sketches-video-makes-me

Loving Your Body as It Is: Starting Where You Are

2014-02-04T19:27:00.002-08:00

Loving Your Body as It Is: Starting Where You Are

I wonder if some women are put off by the title of my article, "Love Your Body At Any Size." I imagine reactions like: “Are you kidding me? At THIS size? LOVE my body?” Or: “All right, maybe I could learn to like my body a bit more than I do now, maybe after I lose just a little weight. “Or, “I actually feel pretty okay about my body the way it is now; I just don’t think I would if I gained any more weight, or gained back those pounds I just lost.”

The more I talk with women about how they REALLY feel about their bodies, the more I realize that body love is a complicated process that happens in stages. And they’re not even predictable stages, at that. I’ve known women who tried every diet plan, miracle product, and spiritual practice that promised them weight loss, even some who developed severe eating disorders or resorted to drastic measures such as weight loss surgery, and then came out the other side with a commitment to radical self-acceptance and absolute clarity that they would never try to change their bodies again. On the other hand, I’ve met women who once were public advocates for size acceptance politics, and then later decided to attempt weight loss again, because on a very basic physical level, they just couldn’t get comfortable with being fat.

Personally, I’ve come a long way on my journey of self-acceptance as a fat woman. Politically, I tend to agree with the more radical end of the size acceptance and Health at Every Size movements. The more I look away from the diet industry ads and sensationalistic “obesity epidemic” headlines, and toward the solid research that says long-term weight loss is neither do-able nor healthful, the more committed I feel to this position. But as a psychotherapist, I’m also committed to working with my clients in a way that prioritizes their values and personal goals, not mine.

So what do I do when I meet a client who wants to work on accepting her body, but isn’t prepared to (and may never want to) take on the politically correct party line of fat acceptance politics? I guess the answer is that I do what I do with almost any client in almost any situation: I meet her where she is. While I am definitely the wrong therapist for a person who wants behavioral coaching to help her stick to a diet plan, my size accepting bias doesn’t prevent me from empathizing with, and helping, women coming from a broad spectrum of attitudes about their bodies. In fact, my experience suggests that most women move up and down that spectrum quite a bit, in the course of their lives and sometimes in the course of a single day.

Self-acceptance is fraught with ambivalence for anyone, and women’s attempts to accept their bodies could almost be the definition of ambivalence. Therapy is often about working through ambivalence. Feelings that are no longer useful will be released, or at least become less intense. Feelings that promote strength and personal growth will prevail. Or, sometimes, the resolution will not be working through ambivalence, but learning to live with it. I think the best way to start resolving internal conflicts is to look clearly at the whole truth about what your conflicting attitudes are. The next step is learning to embrace them. All of them.

If the ultimate goal is self-love, then every part of the self has to be treated with kindness. Do you long to nurture and accept your body, but feel only hate when you look in the mirror? That’s okay. That’s where we start. Do you talk a good line about radical body love, but feel waves of doubt sometimes? Fine. Do you want to let go of the thin body ideal, but hold onto hopes about becoming a little thinner than you are now? It’s all right. Start there. Even if the long-term goal is to move toward accepting your body, the first thing you have to accept is how you feel about your body right now. Because right now is all we have, really. The body you have right now is what it is, no matter how much you focus on its past or its future. And the feelings you have about your body right now are what they are. Paradoxically, you’ll have a better chance of changing and resolving those feelings if you begin by loving yourself and all your ambivalence, here and now.

Thanksgiving Dinner Conversation Pledge

2013-11-24T14:50:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving Dinner Conversation Pledge

Who will join me this year in my pledge NOT to talk about
--How bad I am for eating so much
--How bad I am for eating these particular foods (Californians, take special note of this one)
--How bad I am for being so fat

Imagine what it would be like if everyone at your Thanksgiving table took this pledge. What would you talk about instead? These are a few of my own preferred topics...

--How good the food actually tastes when I'm not apologizing for loving it
--A few of the million things I'm grateful for in my life
--Who I miss -- the loved who are far away, and those who are no longer embodied
--What I like about the people I get to spend this day with
--Whose butt I intend to kick at Scrabble after the dishes are done

Healthism, HAES, and Mental Health

2012-10-08T10:31:00.006-07:00

It's been a month since the FAT-tastic NOLOSE conference, and I'm still processing the wealth of ideas and points of view. As a (mental) health provider, I found myself drawn to workshops that focused on health. In one workshop, we shared personal experiences about what happens when our self-help practices, especially those involving nutrition and exercise, get conflated with mainstream fads, and get people assuming that weight loss is our goal. Another workshop focused on ways to motivate ourselves to do everyday actions that might make us feel better and improve our health. Still another took a very different perspective by challenging the "healthist" assumptions that make self-care into a moral imperative, whether it's directed toward weight loss or not.

That last one really got me thinking about how, even with a Health at Every Size approach, it is really easy to slip back into the same kind of self-criticism, shame, and guilt we've learned from weight loss culture. In fact, I've often thought there is additional pressure on us, as size-accepting fat women, to work hard at keeping ourselves healthy. Our bodies become a battleground for the debate between Health at Every Size and the popular paradigm that equates weight loss with good health. The healthist assumption that stood out most for me was the idea that we have a great deal of control over our health. Healthism overlooks the environment, stress, genetic diversity, disability issues, and numerous other influences on the quality and quantity of our lives. One participant pointed out that behaviors we control represent only a tiny percentage of what affects our present and future health. One of the most useful messages I took from the workshop is that it's time to relax those moral judgments and fears about whether I'm doing all I can to take care of my body.

I've been thinking about the healthist assumptions in mental health, too. I work with clients every day on behaviors they can use to help reduce depression, anxiety, relationship problems … and the list goes on. But too much focus on those self-directed behaviors can lead to shame and a sense of failure when emotional distress comes back. I sometimes say to clients who are dealing with depression or anxiety attacks, for example, that even if we were all climbing the same hill (which we're not), they're having to carry an extra bag of rocks on their backs. It isn't fair and it isn't fun, and perfect symptom management is too much to expect of themselves.

On the other hand, I don't want to promote a message of disempowerment. There are usually SOME factors we can control. I think one of the keys for escaping the guilt vs. helplessness trap, might be to understand how fluid and varied all the factors really are. With depression, for example, the serotonin levels in the brain are affected by what we eat, drink, and, breathe; what we're born with (huge factor); and how we move our bodies. They can also be altered by what happens in our relationships and environment to bring us joy or deprive us of it. Mental and spiritual beliefs and assumptions affect mood, as well. All these influences are in motion every day, interacting with each other. Sometimes a positive or negative mood shift can seem (and may well be) totally random.

Bottom line (which I reserve the right to change as my life and my thoughts continue to evolve), I think the science of cause and effect is useful for giving us suggestions about how to influence the way we feel, physically and emotionally. But those suggestions stop being useful when feelings of empowerment and self-determination give way to guilt and shame. During those moments, what's needed is compassion. In other words, cut yourself some slack. And if that's hard to do, cut yourself some slack about that, too.

Unconditional Love

2012-08-27T18:20:00.000-07:00

Do you know what unconditional love feels like? Perhaps in your childhood, or later in your life, there was someone who cared for you very much, who gave you total acceptance and approval. Maybe you have a spiritual practice that brings you into the presence of a Higher Power or consciousness that only sees the good in you and doesn't judge. It's a wonderful feeling to receive that kind of all-encompassing love. You can also get that feeling through self-talk, by using words that affirm your basic goodness and lovability. Try looking in the mirror and saying, "I love you and accept you, exactly as you are." The self you see in the mirror is your physical image, of course. So, at first, your statement of love and acceptance might get interrupted by critical thoughts about your body. See if you can say the positive message to your whole self, including your body. At first, you might not believe the words you're speaking. But with practice, you can learn to say them with conviction.

Fat, health, and the right to get sick

2012-08-17T15:07:00.002-07:00

I've heard some discussion, and would like to hear more, about the pressure on advocates of Health at Every Size (TM) advocates to maintain perfect health. I think HAES (TM) carries a greater burden of proof than other approaches to health. It is still controversial, and still has to battle the prolific (and abundantly funded) claims of anti-HAES institutions such as the weight loss industry. The unquestionsed assumption that weight is unhealthy seems to be the starting point for the vast majority of conversations about our bodies. We may find ourselves teaching a crash courses in HAES (TM) 101, before we can even begin to discuss our health in a meaningful way. And in that discussion, our own bodies may get used as evidence for proving the validity of HAES. It feels triumphant to say, "I'm 'morbidly obese' and my blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol, and overall health are just perfect, thank you very much." But then what happens when health challenges do occur? This can create a roller coaster of success and failure. (Not unlike the roller coaster some people experience when their goal is weight loss.) It's easy enough, perhaps, to continue arguing for HAES when we get diseases that have no particular correlation with size and weight. But what if there are increases in the metabolic indicators that the anti-HAES view attributes to obesity? What if we need medical care for diseases considered to be "preventable" through weight loss? I wonder how many formerly healthy fat people end up feeling guilty or inadequate when this happens. People of all sizes, when we get sick, have plenty to deal with: accessing medical care, living with diminished abilities, and coping with pain or discomfort. It doesn't seem fair for fat people to bear the additional burden of feeling like being sick is our own fault. I believe people of all sizes are entitled to make our own choices about how to take care of our bodies, put as much or as little effort as we like into the effort to prevent illness, and receive affordable, compassionate medical care whenever and for whatever reason we need it.

Size acceptance and age acceptance

2012-08-11T23:49:00.001-07:00

I had a birthday recently, so aging has been on my mind. For me, learning to accept my size has meant learning to accept my physical aging process, too. In her book, Look at My Ugly Face, Sara Halprin notes that during young adulthood, it's typical for a woman not to realize how attractive she is. As she grows emotionally and begins to challenge her negative self-perceptions, her body grows older, too. This takes her further away from any possibility of living up to the ideals of a culture that equates youth with beauty. This is why, at mid-life, we may find ourselves looking at photos of our younger selves, wondering why we weren't able to appreciate those youthful bodies when we had them. For many of us, longing for a time when we were younger goes right along with longing for a time when we were thinner. Some of us have been fat all our lives, and gotten larger over time. Others have gone from very thin to very fat, or yo-yoed up and down the scale, claiming triumph whenever the pounds went away and feeling defeated when they returned. Still others have experienced subtle, cumulative changes from year to year in the shape and size of their bodies. I hear women of all sizes talking about wanting to "get back to" specific weight levels from the past, or "get their figures back." It's as if our younger, smaller bodies are sitting in a lost-and-found box, waiting for us to reclaim them. I believe that comparing the present to the past can damage self-esteem, much the way comparing ourselves to other women can. My best remedy for compulsive comparing is to bring our awareness deliberately into the present time, focusing on this moment, this body. It's not easy to do, but it's essential, I think, if we're going to achieve size acceptance, age acceptance, or acceptance of our lives in general. Regardless of what I looked like twenty years ago or even twenty days ago, the body that I need to nurture and appreciate is the one I have right now.

Swimsuit season

2012-08-01T16:29:00.001-07:00

We're having a beautiful summer here in the Bay Area. Of course, we have no cold winters to contrast it with. But, comparisons aside, I'm really enjoying the weather. Going to the pool is especially appealing on days like this. But wait. That means exercising in public, and wearing something that exposes my shape and size in a way that street clothes don't. I think about how many women are deprived of the fun of exercise, especially exercise that involves swimsuits, because of the fear of exposing our bodies. I've definitely been there. A couple of things helped me get past it. One was going to a weekly swim that was for fat women only. It was a size acceptance event, so diet talk was not allowed. Eventually, I got so used to seeing strong, beautiful fat women in swimsuits, my own image in the mirror began to look strong and beautiful, too. (That swim is still happening on Sundays at the Albany Pool. It's called Making Waves.) It also helped to get a swimsuit that fit well and felt good. I even let go of my old preference for basic black (how many times have we been told that black is "slimming" and therefore best for us?), and invested some cash in a beautiful plus size suit from Junonia. Now I get to play and stretch and move in ways that could never happen for me on land. Each body is different, of course, but what I've learned about mine is that 1) gentle movement in water is healing for my weight bearing joints (which, on land, bear more weight than average), 2) being in water means there's less weight for those joints to bear, so my heart and lungs can get a thorough, pain-free workout, and 3) fat is extremely buoyant, so I can spin like an otter, jump like a frog, or literally "hang around" in the pool as much as I want. Max Airborne has created a great resource for finding fat-friendly places to swim in the Bay Area and elsewhere at http://fatswimming.com/

Watch your language

2012-07-16T21:01:00.000-07:00

Self-deprecating humor about weight is the way some women create camaraderie. Those little jokes may seem harmless, but each one is actually an attack on your self-esteem, reinforcing all the body hatred you've internalized in the past. Just for a day, try paying attention to the words you say about your body, even if you're just kidding. Listen to the way your talk about your size, your attractiveness, your athletic ability, your age . . . What do you hear? Disgust? Sarcasm? Self-pity? False modesty? Apology? Also pay attention to who's around when you find yourself saying negative things about yourself. Do you do it to fit in with other women who feel bad about their bodies? To fend off criticism by criticizing yourself before anyone else can? Is it just a habit because you and other women around you have been doing it for so long? Listen for the exceptions to the put-downs, too. How do you sound when you're feeling really good about your body, exactly as it is?

Do it now

2012-07-08T22:29:00.002-07:00

How many times have you said to yourself, "After I lose weight, I'll ......"? Fill in the blank. Maybe you'd like to ask somebody on a date. Or buy a new outfit. Or go dancing. Or try a sport. Or do something new in your career (especially something that might make you more visible). Here's a challenge for you. Make a list of all the things you've been telling yourself you can do after you lose weight. Then pick one thing from the list and do it. Do it now!

GENTLE MOVEMENT

2011-04-04T10:58:00.000-07:00

Movement. Exercise. Physical activity. Synonyms for punishment, right? "No pain, no gain," is a popular motto for people who are seriously into body sculpting and other efforts to make their bodies look different than they do. Maybe you're fortunate enough to have gotten past the impossible aesthetic ideals of looksism, and now you see exercise as a way to take care of something far more important than your appearance, ie your health. Unlike the shaky expectation that exercise will change your size and shape, the prospect of better health through physical exercise is realistic for almost every body. But even when health is your goal, it's still possible to fall into a harsh, disciplinarian regimen that ultimately just makes you want to rebel.

I believe we all have a desire to move our bodies. That desire may be buried under a history of failed attempts at exercise programs that forced us to move in ways that were painful, unpleasant, or just boring. But underneath all that, when you really think about it, have there in fact been times when you've just enjoyed the way your body feels in motion? To access that feeling, I suggest starting with exercise that is gentle rather than forceful, such as stretching, water walking, or perhaps just taking a stroll, stopping to check out the storefronts or the neighbors' gardens.

Yoga is a great way to move gently, breathe deeply, and enjoy not only pleasant sensations, but also a variety of proven health benefits. At this month's FREE brown bag workshop on Tuesday, April 19, we'll be viewing excerpts from Sally Pugh's new video, Expanding into Fullness: Yoga for Large Women, and we'll talk about how to find gentle, nurturing ways to move. You can register at www.FeministTherapyAssociates.com/BodyTuesdays.html

Meanwhile, try one or both of these exercises for listening to what your body knows about the ways it might like to move:

1) Get seated in a comfortable place. Take a deep breath. Let it out. Repeat that a couple more times. Now, notice the position your body is in right now. Try shifting that position a little bit. For example, if you're sitting back, sit forward. If your legs are crossed, uncross them. If you're arms are in your lap, drop them to your sides. Just play this way with different positions, nothing strenuous in any way. Now stand up. Notice where your feet are and how your weight is distributed. If you have pain or balance problems with standing, find something to hold onto, or you can skip this part. Now stretch your arms (or free arm) over your head. See how many ways you can move your arms and legs without strain. The point of this is not to "get your exercise" or achieve any particular goal. The point is simply to notice how your body feels when it moves. Notice your breathing, any changes in the way your muscles feel, and any thoughts that run through your mind ("This is boring; hey, that feels kind of good; ouch, I didn't know I had a pain there . . ." You can play this way whenever you want to spend a few minutes just listening to your body.

2) Think back to a time when you felt really relaxed and you noticed a spontaneous urge to get up and do something physical. What was that something? What surroundings were you in? How did your body feel after you did (or didn't) do that activity?

SELF-TALK

2011-03-04T20:26:00.000-08:00

Words have a way of influencing emotions, even when we're not really thinking about what we're saying. Every day we hear negative talk about women's bodies, especially about fat women's bodies, from the media, from co-workers, from passing strangers, from health practitioners, even from well-meaning friends and family members. Sometimes, those negative messages start playing in our heads like a broken record. We may even hear them coming out of our own mouths, whether we really mean them or not. At this month's FREE Make Friends with Your Body Brown Bag workshop, we'll talk about which messages we're holding onto, and what we can do to counter them with positive, body-loving, size-positive self-talk.

If you can't make it to the workshop, or if you'd like to prepare for this discussion on your own, try this exercise in your journal:

1. Make a list of all the statements you can think of, positive or negative, that you've heard about your body, women's bodies, or fat bodies. Write quickly and try not to censor or analyze.

2. Put a star next to any messages that feel positive and actually raise your self-esteem. Remember to practice repeating these to yourself later on.

3. Circle the ugliest, meanest statements on the list and, next to each one, write a counter-statement to remind yourself that the negative message just isn't true. For example, if the negative statement is "Your fat is ruining your health," you might counter with, "Accepting my size helps me love my body and keep it healthy."

4. Now, based on your counter-statements and the positive messages from your original list, craft one or two affirmations that make you feel good about your body. Remember that the most powerful affirmations are 1) stated in grammatically positive terms, avoiding words like "not" and "never," and 2) stated in the present tense. So "I see myself as attractive," gives the mind a more powerful message than "I will learn to see myself as attractive," or "I do not see myself as unattractive."

FOOD

2010-12-31T22:40:00.000-08:00

Here are 3 exercises you can try now, to begin getting in touch with what your body has to say to you about hunger.

This is simply about noticing how you feel, not about keeping yourself from eating. It's true that sometimes hunger turns out to be a stand-in for an emotional need that could also be met in other ways; and it's true that observing your hunger may change it. It's also true that one way to deal with a craving that feels out of control is to stop and notice your emotions when that craving comes up. But when chronic dieters try to apply these concepts to normal eating, hoping to reduce their caloric intake through emotional insight, they become just another way of saying food is bad and hunger is something we should all try not to feel. My hope is that these exercises will help you let go of judgments about what you "should" feel, and notice what you actually do feel. Try any or all of these when you feel hunger or a craving for food.

1) Take a moment to check in with your body. Where exactly does the feeling of hunger or craving reside? Breathe deeply and imagine your breath going into that spot.

2) What emotion does your hunger feel like? Is it some species of anger (eg irritation, rage), fear (dread, nervousness, worry), joy (excitement, anticipation), or sadness (loneliness, emptiness, lethargy)?

3) What goes through your mind when you're hungry? You might want to get out a journal or a sheet of paper and jot down whatever thoughts, memories, or feelings come up. Write quickly; don't censor or edit; let the ideas be random if that's how they occur to you.

Interview with HAES (SM) dietitian Sarah Josef, RD

2010-12-31T21:40:00.000-08:00

Here's an interview in which Sarah talks about her work and her views on HAES^SM.

How did you get interested in Health at Every Size^SM?

As a dietitian, I was trained to work with weight management issues by using a “dieting” or restrictive eating model. I found the model didn’t work and only made people feel worse about themselves. It seemed as if the medical field was too focused on size and not focused enough on health. When Linda Bacon, Ph.D. and UC Davis published their research paper (2005) based on using the HAES^SM model to help people become healthier, it made sense to me. The model focuses on size acceptance, intuitive eating, stress management and pleasurable activity. The study participants improved their biomarkers, overall health, and self-esteem without restrictive eating practices. I became hopeful again that my profession might be able to bring greater health and happiness to people of all sizes.

Also, it took years for me to heal my own issues of size perception and acceptance. I did not have the benefit of a model or a community that supported “non-dieting” methods of achieving health. Now that we have a model available to work with, I want to use it to decrease the agony and suffering people have because of weight issues. I want people to feel good about themselves and about their food choices.

Can you talk about some of the popular myths about weight, nutrition, and health, and about research that supports HAES^SM instead?

Most health professionals point to weight as the reason for many of the major health issues today (heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, and some cancers). While there may be an association between size and health, it is not a direct cause & effect relationship. There are many factors that contribute to poor health and the issue is complex. Weight seems to be the easiest to focus on. A common myth is that all one has to do is reduce their food intake, exercise and they will lose weight. If they lose weight, they will be healthier. Not always true! Weight loss may improve biomarkers temporarily, but in the long run, improvements are not sustained. Instead, greater problems may arise, based on the amount of dieting one has done throughout their life. Dieting comes with its own set of health issues, and this is a fact that many health professionals don’t want to acknowledge.

Is it unusual for people in your profession to use a HAES^SM approach?

Yes, it is. Some dietitians are becoming interested in the model because they know that dieting has not produced long term health benefits. However, the medical community is still size-prejudiced and can’t wrap their minds around the idea that a large-sized person could be healthy!

Research supports that a person of any size may achieve improved health by having a healthy lifestyle: daily movement, good nutrition through a variety of “real” foods that are enjoyable, stress management and daily activities that are pleasurable.

A lot of people go to dietitians with weight loss as a goal. What kinds of goals are important to your clients?

My clients are seeking peace of mind and a desire to have a positive, pleasurable relationship with food. They come wounded from dieting and wanting to heal. They want to learn to trust their bodies to know when to eat, when to stop and what foods will be “right” for them as individuals. They want to stop obsessing about food and their weight.

Why did you choose the name Eating with Integrity for your practice?

Eating with Integrity implies that one may learn to eat in accordance with what they feel is “right” for them, that everyone has their own sense of “integrity” when it comes to food choices. Eating seems so simple but actually it is complicated, influenced by many outside factors (advertising, peers and perception of what is “good/bad” food. We have learned to be externally focused when we eat. Eating with Integrity is a name that implies one eats in accordance with internal cues based on needs and desires. We all have a way of eating that makes us feel good, not just physically but emotionally and spiritually as well. My goal is to help others find what “integrity” means to them when it comes to food and eating.

Why do you think it's so hard for some people – women, especially – to trust their own instincts about what to eat and when?

Women in this society are objectified. As “objects” we (women) become externally focused, especially on how we look. We are not taught to trust ourselves or our instincts, we are taught to constantly strive for an unattainable perfection. It seems to follow that we would not trust ourselves to know when to eat and what to eat, that if we “eat what we really want” that will lead to being unacceptable. If we can’t accept ourselves, we cannot trust ourselves – that’s my take on it.

A lot of people recovering from diets and eating disorders feel like it's essential to stop thinking of foods as "good" or" "bad." Others are afraid that if we throw out all the rules, the way we eat will be bad for our health. What are your thoughts about that dilemma?

When people “normalize” their eating and allow themselves to eat what they want, the magnetic pull toward their perceived “bad” foods disappears. The tight rope that draws them to unhealthy choices is cut and they are released. Normalizing their eating entails learning to eat when one is hungry and stopping when one is full/satisfied. It means all food is “just food” and our choices are based on what makes us feel good. It is amazing to see what happens when people begin to trust their bodies, enjoy their food choices and enjoy the experience of eating – they learn that no one food has power over them because all foods are “good.” They no longer have foods they have to eat only in privacy; they may eat all foods in full view of others. They no longer have to climb ladders in the middle of the night to gorge on their favorite treat hidden in the attic BECAUSE they can have their treat whenever they want it. When we learn to trust our hunger and our food choices, we are able to eat what we want when we want it and feel great! I see this over and over again with clients – it is wonderful to witness.

In the workshops you and I have done together, you guided the participants through an exercise in "mindful" or "intuitive" eating. Would you explain what that is?

My private practice is based on teaching people how to get the greatest pleasure from their food while learning to trust their body. Often, people don’t even know when they are hungry and when they are full. Most do not know when they are satisfied. Part of learning to identify states of hunger/fullness/satisfaction is to eat with full presence or consciousness. I teach people how to tune in and listen to their body, so that they may respond “appropriately” and feel good. Eating mindfully or with full presence also allows us to connect with our senses, eat slower and really taste the food. Usually people have greater enjoyment and pleasure when they eat this way. Sometimes people learn that foods they thought they loved are really not pleasurable. Or, they find just the opposite, that they actually love foods they previously thought they disliked. The mindful eating exercises puts people in the moment, in their body and gives them choices they didn’t know they had. A very awesome experience for most!

How can people contact you if they want to set up an individual appointment with you, or learn more about what you do?

I may be reached at: 510-292-1116 or at haesgp@yahoo.com.

Interview with Marta Fernandez, Certified Physical Trainer

2010-09-24T22:17:00.000-07:00

Making Friends with Movement

Interview with Marta Fernandez, CPT
Bay Area Physical Trainer
Interview by Jeanne Courtney, MFT

Bay Area physical trainer Marta Fernandez talks about the importance of exercise that's enjoyable, sustainable, and tailored to your individual needs. If you'd like to meet Marta in person, you can contact her at the number below.

First of all, Marta, I'd like to know what made you decide to become a physical trainer.

I have always enjoyed exercise and participating in endurance events where I had to challenge myself. When Personal Training became a viable career option where I could help people find the same joy in exercise that I have, I realized this was the path for me.

How is working with a trainer different from a woman exercising on her own or with a buddy?

Working with a trainer is very different than a woman working out on her own or with a friend. I am able to provide expert guidance on the type of exercises that are most appropriate for each person based on a fitness assessment. I design each workout to specifically meet each woman's needs based on their age, fitness level, injuries, muscle imbalances and goals.

As a therapist, I'm interested in what makes people feel good and what motivates them. Based on what you've seen, what kinds of attitudes or incentives help women enjoy exercise and keep doing it?

Finding activities they enjoy and having fun while exercising are keys to help motivate people. I find that people often start to feel better and have more energy when they follow an exercise program specifically tailored to their needs which helps keep them on track.

How did you become interested in using a Health at Every Size approach?

I began educating myself on Health at Every Size when I first heard of it and it made so much sense to me. I have seen first hand women and some men struggle and go on dangerous diets and work out like maniacs only to quit because of not being able to reach some unrealistic, unsustainable weight.

A lot of women have negative feelings about exercise, in particular, thinking of it as a punishment for gaining weight. What advice do you have for turning exercise into a positive thing?

This can be hard for women who have diet histories and who have had exercise suggested to them only as a means to weight loss. I think it is tragic that women lose touch with the sense of enjoyment, pleasure and power that comes with moving! I help women reclaim these things which turns exercise into a positive, and not punishing, thing.

What if a fat women has been ridiculed -- or is afraid she will be -- for exercising in public, or for wearing swimsuits or workout clothes? Can you suggest what to do about self-consciousness so it won't get in the way of exercising?

What to do about self-consciousness when exercising is very individual. For some they may want to find times, places or environments where they feel safe. For others, they may want to claim their right to be active in workout clothes or bathing suits in public spaces.

Are there any types of exercise that are more suited to or safer for fat bodies?

Again, that is a very individual thing. I never assume that a fat woman can't do a certain exercise or that a thin woman can just by virtue of their size which is why I always start with an assessment to determine each client's fitness level and abilities.

Is there anything else you would like to say to women of all sizes about exercise and taking care of our bodies?

Exercising and taking care of our bodies go hand in hand. Exercising also helps our mood, we are happier when we are active. We can't have one without the other so make it a life long habit and make it fun!

Finally, can you describe the services you offer and tell people how to contact you?

I provide personalized exercise programs to help my clients achieve well being by addressing whatever issues are getting in the way of that. I can be reached at 415-265-8777.

Thank you, Marta, for those insights about exercise at any size.

Jeanne Courtney interviewed on Weightless blog

2010-09-17T23:00:00.000-07:00

Weight Loss, Self-Acceptance & Body Image: Q&A with Jeanne Courtney