Make Love, Not Debt: A relationship finance blog

So the Economy is Kind of Crazy

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 11:40:00 -0600

So far our jobs have kept us pretty insulated from the ravages of the economy. I haven't noticed much personally, other than what I've seen in the news reports. But this week I finally started seeing changes - big changes - on the street. Last weekend we went shopping for clothes and we both commented on how it seems like everything is marked way down on sale. Not altogether a terrible situation, since we were able to score a bunch of new clothes for cheap. But yesterday I saw something crazy.

I walked into a mall on Michigan Avenue in downtown Chicago in the middle of a big shopping district...and when I stepped inside I realized the entire mall is closed. The lights were off, the escalators were roped off, the floor was filthy, and the shops were all boarded up. I guess they have the lobby open to service the only remaining store, a department store on the first floor. It was bizarre! It looked like that TV show "Life After People" where they show what cities would look life after humans no longer exist. Seriously, how does an entire mall on Michigan Avenue go under?

I googled the mall when I got home and saw that it actually closed 6 months ago. Maybe the fact that I didn't notice for 6 months points to one reason why it closed...hmmm. Anyway, it still blows my mind that it is gone. Suddenly "the economy" is much more tangible to me.

Australia is on Sale!

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 11:40:00 -0600

When we were considering honeymoon destinations several years ago, Australia was a top contender...until we saw the price tag. Package deals for a 2-week vacation were around $20,000 (yes, twenty thousand!). Spending that much on a honeymoon was out of the question. We put the idea aside and chose a $6,000 Greece package instead. Last year, we went on our Greek honeymoon and had SUCH a great time! The trip really inspired Him to love travel as much as I do. So this year we started talking about a one-year anniversary trip. We were having trouble deciding where to go.

A few months ago, I started getting promotions for travel to Australia. The prices had dropped - a LOT. Airfare is about half the price due to the economy, and the Australian currency exchange rate is favorable right now too. So we made a decision to travel to Australia this fall! We'll spend about $8,000 on two weeks, including airfare and some fun tours and nice hotels. It means we will have to delay the purchase of a home for a few more months, but we feel that it's worth it. These prices might not happen again for a long time, and we've been talking about visiting Australia for three years already. We're finally going, and we're really excited.

Have you ever chosen a travel destination based on an airfare sale?

In Which We Put Our Car in a Pothole

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 19:22:09 -0600

We hit a pothole, and the pothole hit our wallets. This morning we were cruising down Lakeshore Drive when we struck a nefarious pothole. It wasn't that wide, maybe only a foot or so, but it was also about a foot deep. We hit it while going about 40 mph. That instant I saw our hubcap go careening off in the distance. When we stopped to check the damage, we saw that there were two deep gouges in the rubber tire plus a huge dent in the rim. After I stopped stomping around the parking lot cursing, we changed the tire. Tonight Him dropped the car off at our mechanic to have it repaired. We're guessing the bill we be around $500. Damn you, Chicago pot holes!!! (okay, so maybe I spent the whole day stomping around cursing).

I did find this nice blog post by The Expired Meter that explains how we can go about trying to get the city of Chicago to pay for half the repair bill (in 4-6 months, blarg!).

Grocery Store Jewel No Longer Accepting Expired Coupons

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 19:16:02 -0600

Tonight I stopped by our local Jewel grocery store and was surprised to see a posted notice that "Effective May, 2009, Jewel will no longer accept expired coupons." Coupons have long been a major part of our strategy to reduce household expenses, and we have always used expired coupons (with the permission of the customer service personnel). I completely understand that the stores need to be able to redeem the coupons they receive, and this new policy will allow them to be reimbursed for all the coupons that accept. Still, I can't help but feel a little sad.

It is common for coupons and sales to run in cycles, so that the current coupons are not valid during big sales. We have always strategized and saved the coupons until the items went on sale, then combined the discounts. It's a shame that families will no longer be able to use this strategy to cut costs, just when many households have lost their income or savings.

Is your local grocery store still accepting expired coupons?

Net Worth, Q1 2009: Once You Go Black, You Can Never Go Back

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 10:52:47 -0600

I've checked the math. Twice. And a third time.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are officially in the black.

We've been pushing forward with 2 of our goals for the year: Saving for a house and paying down the 0% balance transfer from student loans credit cards. We have yet to make a contribution to our Roth IRAs for 2009, but we are going to begin doing that this month. Haven't you heard? Stocks are on sale!

Not much has been written to this blog lately because we've been really busy with other things in our lives: I'm volunteering, taking classes, and working my ass off at work. Her is neck-deep in studying for licensing exams mandatory for advancement in her profession. Despite our hectic schedules, we have still managed to keep on keepin' on when it comes to our finances. It does help that we have automated much of it, allowing us to concentrate on the more important things in our lives now. And as always, credit cards are paid off in full every month.

Of note in the liabilities column is the money owed to the IRS. I've blogged in the past on our strategy for dealing with it, but because of the economy I'm not so sure we're going to go ahead with that plan. We may just pay what we owe and not tie up our money in a retirement account, keeping the rest of the cash to remain flexible.

Even in this economy, we are continuing to thrive. We have much to be thankful for.

I Don't Feel Like an Equal Anymore

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 11:45:00 -0600

When Him and I started our careers, we earned equal salaries ($40,000 each). It felt great! We were working our way up our respective ladders together as equals. I had read about marriages where one partner earns far more than the other, and honestly I was glad that we would never be like that. Or so I thought.

Over the years, we both got annual raises. Except that Him's annual raise was always higher than mine. And then this year, my employer froze salaries and I didn't get a raise at all. So now my salary is $54,000 and Him's is $69,000. He's outpaced me by $15,000 in just four years! We're financially stable so we weren't depending on our incomes to rise, and financially we're fine. But emotionally I'm not OK. I feel like I'm no longer pulling my weight and contributing equally to our finances. Given that all our debt is my student loan debt, I feel like I should be pulling harder to get that debt paid off and not burden Him with it. Him doesn't feel like I'm burdening us, and I'm glad. But I don't know how to stop feeling this way inside.

Any suggestions?

Brrr...My Salary Got Frozen

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 11:45:00 -0600

Today at work I found out that my raise for this year is...zip. My company has been affected by the market downturn and there's no telling how much work we'll have in the near future. Right now my CFO wants to be cautious and not increase their fixed costs, so no raises for anyone. I'm really grateful to have a good job, and it's comforting to know that salaries were frozen across the board (no executives got raises either). I'm not exactly surprised by the freeze but it has shaken my confidence a bit. Thank goodness we're financially stable and weren't counting on a raise!

How about you? Are you getting a raise this year? Is your boss?

Modern-Day Recession Era Skills

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 11:59:56 -0600

If you've paid any attention to the media, you're aware that we as a country aren't doing too well financially. Much has been written that compares our situation today to the Great Depression that began in 1929. To that end, many are taking lessons learned from the Depression era and are applying them to today's life. For example, Depression era cooking is now chic, darning socks is the new black, and being frugal is the lifestyle of the moment.

Unlike the Depression era, we have tons more electronic gadgets and toys that have become intertwined with our everyday living. Computers, televisions, and even IPods are commonly found in most peoples' households. In the last few years, we've been condition to think that electronic gadgetry is more often easier and economic to replace rather than repair. But is this always the case?

Our TiVo has been on the fritz since at least last summer. The first sign was intermittent audio drop outs. I thought it was just a fluke - maybe our satellite signal wasn't up to snuff. After we returned from our honeymoon, the problem was increasing worse. We started missing crucial dialog on our favorite shows. More annoyingly, we were missing what ingredients Gordon Ramsay was putting in his dishes when we were watching The F Word. The final straw that broke the camel's back was this past weekend, when the TiVo spontaneously restarted itself numerous times.

Her and I had to make a decision: do we blow $100 on another non-TiVo DirecTV DVR? Because we love our TiVo so much, I was determined to make it work. I researched what could possibly be wrong with the TiVo and tried all of the non-invasive troubleshooting techniques. None worked. It seemed that I had no choice but to replace the hard drive in a last-ditch effort to save the ailing DVR.

Weirdly enough, replacing the hard drive wouldn't have cost us any money - I had an external hard drive laying around that I dismantled and appropriated for the repair. After commandeering our main computer for the whole day, I went to work, diligently following the directions on my laptop. After 10 painstaking hours, I put everything back together and plugged in the TiVo.

It powered up...that's a good sign. I waited for what seemed like an eternity for it to get to the point where I could watch TV. When the signal was coming in, I tuned to a channel. Audio! And it didn't drop out! Holy crap! The next step: were our recordings saved? I furiously clicked through to play a recorded show...success!

Doing this saved us at least $100 and gave me the skills to fix our TiVo should this ever happen again. What modern-day recession era skills are you most proud of?

Peers Keep Surprising Me With Money Tips

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 14:56:36 -0600

I've mentioned before on this blog that Gaper's Block is one of my favorite Chicago-centric blogs. While reading the blog I noticed that this week's question in Fuel is Got any money saving tips for us? Considering that the audience is more of the hippie-liberal-creative types who I imagine feel the same way about money as I do, I'm surprised to see the range of answers reads like a personal finance blog.

There's nothing earth shattering there, but it does reassure me that I'm not the only one missing out on stuff.

Valentine's Day Contest Winner!

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 12:16:18 -0600

Congrats to the author at Frugal World, the very first commenter on our Valentine's Day contest! We'll be contacting you to get your info so that we can send the book Please Send Money! A Financial Survival Guide for Young Adults on Their Own by Dara Duguay.

Hope that our Valentine's Day tip worked for some of you out there!

This Valentine's Day, Make Love, Not Debt (GIVEAWAY!!!!)

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 10:52:26 -0600

image adapted from conradh

So you want to do something nice for your significant other (SO) this Valentine's Day, but don't have the cash?

Do you think that you need to take your SO to a nice restaurant or get an overly-saccharine trinket or card?

SCREW THAT. Better yet, screw each other! Why do anything that costs money when having sex is COMPLETELY FREE and FEELS REALLY GOOD.

What other free activity can relieve stress, boost your immune system, burn calories, improve cardiovasuclar health, boost self-esteem, improve intimacy, reduce pain, prevent prostate cancer, strengthen pelvic flow muscles, and helps you sleep?

Instead of spending money, have sex instead. Here are some examples:

You want to remodel your bathroom? LAY SOME PIPE.

Need to write a card? DIP YOUR PEN IN THE INK!

Shopping for shoes? KNOCK BOOTS.

Need to tear down your garage? WRECK IT IN THE BEDROOM.

What's your favorite euphemism for doing the dirty deed? Leave your answer in the comments and we'll pick one at random to receive a copy of Please Send Money! A Financial Survival Guide for Young Adults on Their Own by Dara Duguay. Get your entries in by next Sunday, February 15, 11:59 PM CST. We'll pick a winner on the following Monday. Good Luck!

Accused of Being a Spendthrift

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 10:50:35 -0600

This past weekend Trent at the The Simple Dollar, one of my favorite blogs, wrote a provocative narrative of how a media interviewer viewed him as a cheapskate and he wouldn’t think of him as a fun person to hang out with because of his frugality. After assuring his audience that he wasn't a cheapskate, he states that the issue is all about first-impressions, most importantly the immediate assumption that making frugal choices is a negative, or the belief that not spending money and buying products will bring you sadness and ugliness and social failure and career failure.

I'd like to explore the other side of his experience. If you've been a regular reader of our blog, you're familiar with the flippant attitude we have towards our financial situation and money in general. We're not hardcore frugality enthusiasts, we don't write about saving money, and we don't write about how awesome we are because we save for our purchases. For having this stance, we have been vilified, mocked, admonished, and ostracized. Spending money, wanting things, or even having things will not bring doom, destruction, blight, and locusts.

For us, frugality is a tool that we use in order to help us get what we want in life. While we recognize the necessity of money management skills, we're more of the type to enjoy nice restaurants, go to an art opening, or buy a goofy little trinket for ourselves or each other just to see even a fleeting smile. Frugality is simply a means to an end, not a lifestyle that we feel the need to fully embrace. What bothers me is the almost religious belief that frugality, above anything else, is the key to happiness and success. To spend money is a part of life, not an evil act that must be repented.

What bothers me the most is the incredible amount of self-righteousness found on personal finance blogs. I often see statements on the order of, "Well I saved for the things that I bought, and everyone else just caused the financial meltdown so I'm so much better than you nyahh nyahh," and it makes me GAG. It is that pretentious frugality that is not fun to be around. No one wants to be around perpetual Debbie Downers and have to restrict their fun.

To me, it seems that frugalists don't take kindly to hedonism on any level. It is of my observation that a large portion of money-savers are "fun-haters" who frown upon spending cash in order to get any type of happiness. In fact, oftentimes I read statements from frugalists that invalidate others' feelings of happiness only because of the existence of their debt. Just as some of my most fun times have been when I haven't spent money, I have a whole bunch of other memories that I wouldn't have had if I didn't spend any money. Our having debt doesn't mean that we don't deserve to feel happy, whether it is money-fueled or not.

Much is said on personal finance blogs on "needs" versus "wants". To many, it seems that self-flagellation in the form of seemingly indefinitely delayed gratification is the only true key to happiness. To have too many wants is a Very Bad Thing. I disagree - having wants is what life is all about. Let's face it, all one really NEEDS is a home to live in, some food to eat, some clothes to wear, and a pot to piss in. But for the majority of the frugalists, there is a belief that having too many wants will lead to ruin.

I don't disagree that spending money frivolously is a bad thing when done too much. And yes, having too much debt is a bad thing. The tenets of personal finance are true for everyone. But when debts are paid, retirement is funded, and savings are growing, then who cares what disposable income is spent on? Or should income NEVER be disposable?

Trent gave the example of how a person who is driving a run-down vehicle can be a millionaire. Conversely, why can't a person who drives a BMW be financially responsible? What if that person saved up for his car? Just because he owns a luxury vehicle he is automatically thought to kick puppies? That guy could possibly be in better financial shape than most.

So before you assume that the Starbucks-drinking, Banana Republic-wearing, Mercedes-driving person is up to his eyeballs in debt, he may think that you're a total bore. First impressions work both ways.

From the MoneyMix Blog Archives - Borrowing

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 10:50:40 -0600

Credit Card Annual Fees Yes, we use credit cards. Yes, one of them even has an annual fee. Here's how we decided that the reward was worth the fee.

The Good and Bad About 401(k) Loans It's no secret that we have home buying on our minds. We looked at the feasibility of borrowing from Her's 401(k), and here's what we found. In short: no way.

Making Home Ownership Work

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 10:50:41 -0600

Wow, a $15,000 tax credit for new homeowners? (thanks, Jim)

Plummeting housing values?

Ever decreasing interest rates?

I'd be lying if I were to say that I haven't been trolling the MLS listings for about an hour each day for the last few days, searching for our lair where we will hoard our spoils of war and amass an army of hatchlings.

While this perfect storm of economic factors is a definite boon to us as potential home buyers, our lack of savings is looking like our largest obstacle to future home buying.

Currently we have a little over $20,000 in cash saved up. I'm not sure how much of that is liquid; we expect to owe taxes this year and are deciding which route to take to reduce our tax burden. We'll either contribute $10,000 into a solo 401(k) and pay the remainder of the tax out-of-pocket, or we'll just eat the estimated $4,500 tax bill. Both options don't leave us with much flexibility.

We also have the two 0% student loan balance transfers. If these were 0% for life it would be an easy decision to only pay the minimums until we saved enough for a down payment. Unfortunately, the balances must be paid off by September and December, and it doesn't look like we'll be able to change our plan for paying these off.

The only item in which we have any breathing room in our budget to free up some money is our Roth IRA contributions. We were planning on contributing the maximum amount to both of our Roth IRAs this year. On a monthly basis, we would be allocating $833.33 per month, an amount that, if saved, would significantly accelerate our plans to own a home. I'm not quite sure that this is anywhere near the right thing to do now.

There's nothing wrong with our current goals: pay off debt, save up until we have a 20% down payment, and contribute to our retirement plan. We are planning on waiting until spring of 2010 to seriously look for a home. Even writing this now I feel that waiting may be the best option because we'll be the most financially ready then.

But wow, a $15,000 tax credit is going to be difficult to pass up.

Thanks, James Harrison

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 12:10:41 -0600

Because of your tide-turning, record-breaking, 100-yard-interception-touchdown-run, I am $20 richer.

You see, the party I was at had game of football squares going. With extreme ~~foresight~~ luck, I picked the square that won me the halftime prize.

Congrats, Steelers. That was one hell of a game.