Show class, have pride, and display character. If you do, winning takes care of itself.

- Paul “Bear” Bryant, Alabama Head Coach (1913-1983)

When I first saw today’s quote, my first focus was on the list of characteristics. My checklist brain behaved like it usually does and placed little tick boxes by each of the traits and thought of a few conflicting traits to make sure those things were not on the list.

However, after thinking about it for awhile, I realized that I was, as usual, focusing on the wrong thing. My Type A personality places importance on pushing through the list to completion. More important than a check in the box is a realization that there is a life to live right up until the last breath.

Stated another way, during life’s journey, we will not be able to place a check mark in the box that says “Show Class.” We will never be finished with that task as it is an attitude that must be reattempted during every situation. I can, however, appreciate my successes on my good days and be gentle to myself on the bad ones.

Today I encourage you to take inventory of your personal checklist. Have you set yourself up for failure? In the world of long to do lists, methods of success and tick boxes, are we stretching for finish lines in areas that were never meant to be objects of completion? Notice we haven’t talked at all about outcome. Interesting don’t you think?

And as always, thanks for joining me for that cup of coffee…

Image credit

The first area covered by Scott is diligence – what it is, why it is important and how to know if you have got it. You know me, I had to look the word up.

diligence – persevering application, assiduity

Assiduity? What an interesting word, I thought. What does that mean?

Assiduity – the quality or state of being assiduous (marked by careful unremitting attention or persistent application)

After I read the definition of the words, I felt I had a pretty good jump-start on this diligence thing. Then I got to his checklist at the end of the chapter. Some of the items were

• Have a clear and precise vision for what you want to achieve
• Creatively persist through disappointments and failures
• Work expeditiously (with target dates)
• Work effectively (achieving effective results)
• Attain true excellence

Ummm, alrighty, maybe not a bad idea to keep reading and learning. A bit further off than I originally thought. But that’s okay, it’s all a journey of one step at a time.

“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I’ve bought a big bat. I’m all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”

- Dr. Seuss, Writer, 1904-1991
 

You just have to love Dr. Seuss!! There is no better way to start off a New Year than with an “ain’t nothing gonna break my stride” attitude.

Welcome back to Turn Around Tuesday. I want to take a quick minute to thank everybody who has been supportive through an interesting 2009. I’ll be taking you to lunch in 2010.

2009 was interesting for a good many people. I myself watched one business die, another one blossom and opportunities unfold. Lighthouse Leasing & Management has grown to over 200 properties in 4 counties. We are busy but we enjoy serving our owners by taking great care of their tenants. I received my long worked for brokers license in October. That allowed me to add a Keller Williams affiliation to my real estate tool bag. Possibility is bubbling like champagne for 2010!

However, some things got off track in an effort to create a laser focus and trim the fat, so to speak. Some things needed to derail and I will leave those in the train graveyard. Others are patiently awaiting my attention. TAT is one of those things. The conversations started over at MLWFY and Beautiful Chaos are others. Connection with people outside of my client/tenant list is a huge priority. I am appreciative for the patience and the boot in the butt I got from the folks who know how.

Today I encourage you to pick up your bat and swing away into 2010. I have a list of things I want to remember because I learned, leave in the past because they are useless or worse, distracting and stars I am shooting for in 2010. Most importantly, I have decided to get out of my head, over myself and on the ball. Granted, this is a work in progress and some days will be better than others. Yours will be too. Know what that makes us? Just like everybody else! Sing it with me – “Ain’t nothin’ gonna to
break my stride. Nobody’s gonna slow me down, oh-no, I got to keep on movin’…”

What’s Going On

Still For You
This section serves the same purpose as the sidebar did previously. Events, activities, promotions – whatever – submit them to me and I will do my best to get them listed here.relevant content, and they get exposure.

Anticipation Celebration & Burning Bowl Ceremony
Vicki Manibusan of Capstone Financial Partners in Savannah will be leading this event at Asbury Memorial United Memorial Church on Saturday, January 2, 2010, 2:00 pm.

Vicki describes the event as “a guided exercise to help you think about what you want to accomplish in the coming year.” Bring pen, paper, and a self-addressed stamped envelope. Vicki can be reached at (912) 222-9410 for info and RSVP.

Leadership Bryan County
The next Leadership Bryan County class is slated to begin January 15, 2010. As a graduate, I can tell you this is a great opportunity. Call the Chamber at 912.756.3444 to register.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone.

And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

For those who are familiar with Turn Around Tuesday, you will be surprised to find that this was my response.

I am not being lazy, I swear. I didn’t have any big Memorial Day plans yesterday that have left me struggling today. Honestly, I am ready to write a full TAT. But, after a quote like that, what else is there really left to say?

Today I encourage you to read that quote again and decide where you fit in. Are you a shiner or a shrinker? At first pass, I think I am a shiner with overwhelming shrinker tendencies. Or, it may be that I am a shrinker with rare moments of shiner greatness. One thing I know for sure – my inner Warrior is dying to be a shiner.

This was followed by an invite to come here and dig into the idea a little further.

So let’s discuss – shiner or shrinker?

“It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.”
- C. S. Lewis, author

One of the easiest things to do is to feel like a failure. Not good enough or smart enough or fast enough…the list goes on. Always watching other folks just to find more things I am lacking. How come I can’t pull that off or participate in that or be involved with that? Where is my superwoman cape?
Fortunately for me, I have the opportunity to discuss these thoughts with a couple a really smart women. During one such conversation, I had an epiphany. I am a wife, a business owner and the mother of four children under the age of 12. There’s my superwoman cape. This is the stage of my life I am in. These are the things that I concentrate on. Leaving the other stuff alone does not create failure – it demonstrates priorities.

In eight too short years, I will be the mother of 4 children between the ages of 10 and 20. That is a totally different place than where I am now. That stage of my life will have its own set of priorities, commitments and challenges. My superwoman cape will change, but it will still be mine.

Today I encourage you to appreciate your cape. At least for today – or the next five minutes – realize that you don’t do it like everybody else because you are unique. While your warrior cannot accomplish all things, the ability to accomplish all things meant for you is there in truckloads. You are perfectly positioned for your journey in this point. Run tomorrow’s race tomorrow. Enjoy today’s events now. It is the only thing you can truly wrap your arms around.

Hey There Parents

It is almost that time of the year again. You can always tell when it is fixing to happen. Bouncing, over excited, giddy, homework forgetting kids are preparing to roar into their summer vacation.

I am looking forward to my kids having a good time. They can’t take themselves to the pool or the park or the beach – so I get to go all those places too. Wonderful benefit.

However, I also worry about the summer brain rot. Three months is a long break from the 3 R’s. And they are expected to fall right back into the swing of things at the beginning of the next school year.

So, my question today is – What kind of activities and learning resources will you use to for your kids this summer?

Special Thanks to Julien Tromeur for the superhero graphic

“I work with wonderful people who support me. And, my beliefs are that the business needs to serve the family rather than the family serve the business.”
- Kathy Ireland, Model and Entrepreneur

I feel like I have been disconnected from the friends that believe in me the most. Lately, I haven’t been able to stop for coffee, schedule a lunch or make quite as many “hey how are you doing” phone calls. Keeping it together in these interesting times has taken some serious focus.

That’s the funny thing about focus. While totally necessary to excel in an area, it can put a damper on other ones – like noticing the people around you. You see, while I may feel disconnected, I actually am not. And realizing that is nothing short of a compliment to those around me without whom I could do nothing.

Lately, I have not been the supporter or the giver or the provider. Hence, the feeling of disconnect. I have been the needer and the taker. That has, in all honesty, led to some paranoid inadequacy feelings. However, what a slap in the face to those who are taking their time and effort to be there for me. Support comes from those who can out of goodwill not out of a need to create guilt in the receiver.

Today I encourage you to say just “Thank you.” No qualifiers, no fillers, no “oh you shouldn’t have how can I ever repay you” platitudes. Simply thank you. Stripped down, naked, pure gratitude. Appreciation that fills you up with what you needed and honors the person who is offering the gift. Watch, I’ll go first.

Thank you.

Two Months?!?!
Seriously?!?

Yes, seriously. It has in fact been two months since the last edition on TAT hit cyberspace. You have my sincerest apologies. But, I have no regrets.

TAT went on an unplanned hiatus due to the work overload of the producer. Something had to give – TAT was it.

Once TAT ceased to enter mailboxes, I started to get phone calls. What wonderful phone calls they were! You have no idea how much the encouragement to move forward and the support in my decisions meant to me.

As of May 1st, I have hired a full time assistant and she is fantastic! Just in the few days she has been in the office, I have seen a dramatic difference in, well, everything.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming!

I haven’t spent time on it for a few weeks. My excuse is that I haven’t had the time. While things have been amazingly busy – it is still just an excuse. I am becoming completely aware of the fact that I don’t have time not to.

It is time to lay the foundation to pwning the happy. That foundation, according to Marci, is embodied in a simple equation

E(motion) + R(eaction) = O(utcome)

I don’t mind telling you that I spend a whole lot of time using this alternate and far less effective formula

E + O = R

And this sure fire motivation zapping formula

O + R = E

The workbook asks to recall a situation where you implemented a less that effective attitude. It then asks to describe the level of contraction that accompanied it. The unasked question is how does it feel when things are going well and you feel expanded.

I am spending some time considering these ideas of expansion and contraction. I would love to hear your thoughts on it.

Now, understand that I already recognize that this is not a flaw in Marci’s work. It is a flaw in my discipline. It is a result of my microwave popcorn generation. The steps are necessary. The success is in the work through – not the skip around.

So, I am attempting to move through the steps instead of skipping around to the parts I think I need the most right now. And Marci certainly has it set up in steps that makes sense.

The steps to increasing your happiness set point is equated to the building of a house. The first step, therefore, is the establishment of the foundation. This step has always had point that resonated with me. During this session, Marci talks about changing habits. Within this session, there is a discussion about our choices and the idea of the quarter second gap. The idea is that there is a gap of time in between an urge and an action. It is the point of time of choice. It is where the power to live a happier life resides waiting to be tapped into.

So, here is my quarter second gap decision. I will fight the urge to skip around and glean from the corners. I will not give into my hyper reaction that says I can move faster through the material and still get the same results. That is my solid foundation. That is my first step.

Don’t get me wrong. I am very appreciative of my journey. And I understand that we don’t live our entire lives in the clouds. I am betting we wouldn’t want to even if we could. I also enjoy the levelness. What I don’t like is the height of the levelness. I think that the steady path where we spend most of our lives can be more enjoyable. I think the sound of the word “normal” should provoke a little more happiness.

While in Dallas, I picked up the Happy for No Reason course from Marci Shimoff. I had the opportunity to hear her speak and it really resonated with me. Of course, when I got home, things were so over whelming and disjointed. I attempted to apply the course to my schedule. I didn’t.

Earlier this week, I remembered something Marci had talked about - the “happiness set point.” The general concept is that our happiness is sorta like our body temperature – it has a “normal.” Some folks have a higher or lower “normal” and the temperature can always be changed by external circumstances.

The interesting thing is that a study found that the set point was only 50% genetic. What I am now interested in is the other 50%.

Not sure how much of this I will blog about in the upcoming weeks as I am not sure how personal it gets. But, I will keep you posted on what I can and would love to hear your feedback on the topic.

“A ship in port is safe; but that is not what ships are built for. Sail out to sea and do new things.”
- Rear Admiral Grace Hopper (1906-1992)

As a Naval electronic tech, I I heard a lot about Admiral Hopper. She was a pioneer in computer technology development. More interesting to me is the era in which she lived and accomplished so much as a woman. I can only assume obstacles where far more numerous. The women of the early 21st century would do well to remember the tenacity displayed by the women of the early 20th century. In fact we would all do well to reflect on the champions of our past.

Often we find those who have gone before us that inspire us to greater things. We concentrate heavily on the accomplishments and thrill at the journey they took throughout their life. We honor the challenges they overcame and admire their ability to move forward regardless of obstacles.
However, few of us translate these experiences into an example of what we can do for ourselves. For some reason, there is a gap between what we believe what others can achieve and we can accomplish ourselves. It is as if we assume those who have gone before us have some unknown superpower or possess a secret that they didn’t share. They could do all those things, but we can’t.

Today I encourage you to remember that no ship worth is building is meant to stay in port. And no life worth living is compelled by fear and apprehension. Your inner warrior appreciates the accomplishments of those who have gone before you. That warrior is anxious to be among the ranks of those who have sailed fearlessly. Pull up the anchor and be that person who inspires. The potential is in you.

Tis the Season

I will go ahead and admit that I am not crazy about all the hubbub that surrounds Christmas. The stress and loss of focus moves away from my idea of the purpose of the season. However, it never fails to warm my heart to watch those who do embody what this time of year is all about.

Next week, I am going to try to fill this column with contacts. If you have a resource, charity, toy drive…whatever…. drop me a line and let me know.

I look forward to working with you to make the holiday a little brighter for someone else.