Bug and Belle

Birth Story: Clementine Caylee

2015-09-11T10:22:00.002-07:00

So let's just say this pregnancy was far from easy. I found a few common themes among third time mothers and the most frequent comments were that third time pregnancies were rough. Was it my increasing age? My prior weight I was trying to work off with yoga? The fact that I had carried two other almost nine-pound-babies before? All of the above.

My body hurt all the time. I couldn't bare to sit on the floor, cross my legs, and even rolling to my other side in the middle of the night gave me the worst aches. And to top it off, at around 30 weeks I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Awesome! So now I couldn't eat carbs, I had to check my blood sugar four times a day, and I wrote down every little thing I ate. I credit my beloved little sister for really giving me all the knowledge I needed {she has type 1} and if I ever texted any of you in my wrath, thank you for listening.

From the start of this pregnancy I felt like I wouldn't last a whole 40 weeks. Caleb was a week late, Lilly came on her due date, so it only seemed fitting that this one would come early {also my body wasn't having it}. When I went to my 36 week checkup I was already dilated to 2cms...which means something but also means nothing...you could be at 2 for weeks...who knows.

After a weekend of waddling around {and playing with my awesome brother, his wife, and my nephew, who were in town from Houston}, I knew I wouldn't be lasting another month.

I spent the first day of September like any other, texting my girl Melanie about my tired body, whining about the two big kids, discussing Etsy shops and blogs, failed Pinterest attempts, and our mutual love of Starbucks.

My brother had spent the morning at the HB Pier with his crew, so he was on his way over to say "until next time". But after I helped Lilly out of her afternoon bath, I realized my water was slowly breaking {at 36 weeks, 5 days}. I told him I'd see him later, have a safe flight...and he showed up barging in, ready to deliver this baby if needed! Seriously, I had a plan and I didn't want to interrupt his last day in SoCal {and I really like sticking to plans}, but after telling TJ what was going on, he made me let Sean drive me to the hospital. I couldn't get a hold of Grandma to watch the kids, so I desperately called my friend Jenna to come sit with them until she came..."I'll be there in 8 minutes" she said. And she was.

My brother is a hilarious ball of energy, so the car ride to Hoag went something like this; "Okay what's the best way to get there? Do I need to go faster? This rental car goes super fast, wanna see? Are you sure you don't want me to drive thru InNOut? You're not going to be able to eat for a while. I'll deliver this baby on PCH if I have to!"

Fun Fact...I'm wearing my friend Melanie's maternity shirt...she wore it when her water broke with her first.

After checking into labor & delivery, we waited around thirty minutes for TJ to arrive from work, and we said our goodbyes to the Houston Gresches and thanked them for their service. Seriously, how divine was that timing?!?!

TJ's mom finally relieved Jenna and took over watching the big kids {not to mention cleaned my house from top to bottom}...and I was ready to get baby number three out of my belly!

Our labor and delivery room had a pretty nice view of Newport...thanks Hoag.

After being checked in, hooked up to the Pit, it felt like we had been there forever. Contractions were only slowly starting, and since I knew I'd be going the epidural route, I wasn't about to be a hero and let them get too crazy, so I asked for it after a nice visit from Christy and rerun of Conan.

4 cms was all I was after the epidural, so my body had a lot of progress to do.

After eleven hours of being in the hospital, my awesome L&D nurse noticed I had another bag of fluid that hadn't quite ruptured, which was probably why I wasn't progressing. After much poking and prodding, I went from what felt like 4 cms to 8 cms...FAST. And my epidural was wearing off. NOT what I signed up for! I was lying on my side trying to breathe, while having the worst case of heartburn, at 8 cms, just praying the song "Jesus Jesus Precious Jesus" while I waited for the epidural to kick back in.

My nurse basically said if I sat up right then, she'd come flying out, so I did everything to wait for my OB's ETA of 20 minutes...

More pressure than I'd ever felt from either kid was coming and fast. My OB arrived, I sat up, pushed five times through two contractions, and she was out. So fast.

Clementine Caylee was born on 9/2 at 4:35am, 6lbs 10oz, 18inches {which I guessed exactly on}.

Her first name means mercy.
Her middle name is a juxtaposition of Caleb + Lilly = Caylee.

She is the sweetest surprise.

I really can't believe how tiny she is.

Because she was ONE DAY shy of being full term, we had to stay in the hospital an extra day. We weren't going to let the kids come, we thought it'd be too much for them, but I couldn't stand to not see them a whole other day...

It was a good thing we tackled going on elevators last month!! They sure did love the view of North Orange County.

Caleb was pretty smitten with her.

And I was blown away that Lilly wanted to hold her too. Way to go, big kids.

We finally busted out of there on the 4th.

And it's been pretty great.

We've been on a dinner rotation from family and friends and our awesome Beachpoint Church. Can I just say how amazing that is?? I have people knocking on my door who I've never met before, delivering delicious meals! We are filled to the brim with diapers, wipes, new/old baby gear, and newborn clothes {that none of my 8 pounders could ever wear}. We are tired and cramped in our too-small-for-us duplex, but we are thrilled with this amazing blessing from The Lord.

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!

How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;

Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!

Oh, for grace to trust Him more!

Four Months Off

2015-07-13T19:14:00.001-07:00

Hello friends.

For no specific reason {other than being exhausted, I suppose} I took a four month break from blogging. We've been going through a crazy season in our lives, and while I wanted to remain transparent on this blog, I also wanted to give ourselves the space needed to work things out.

At the beginning of the year, TJ was accepted into the police academy. We were so thrilled yet so nervous for this next chapter in our lives. We knew it would take months of sacrifice and hard work for everyone {especially TJ} as he went through one of the nation's toughest academies.

I cooked his meals and pressed his uniforms while he worked his butt off there and studied all night. It hadn't been maybe a few weeks until we had noticed a difference in the way he was reacting to the stress. To be perfectly honest, the month he was in the academy was tougher than the six months he was away in Afghanistan {compounded by my pregnancy I'm sure}.

His demeanor and disposition were comparable to when he was deployed; only this time he had to deal with the stress of home life as well, which meant we got to see that stress in ways we hadn't before. It was rough.

To make a long story short, after an exhausting night, we decided a thirty year commitment to a high stress job wasn't going to work out; and it had also showed us that TJ needed a bit more help than what he was getting as far as his anxiety goes.

It was an incredibly tough decision to make. We went four months without a paycheck, but it was nothing compared to the support we received from everyone. I don't share all of this with you because I feel you need to know every aspect of our lives {and believe me you don't}, but I share it so you can have a closer look at someone you know who might be struggling.

We share things on Facebook and Twitter all day. We like inspirational posts and comment on stories of strangers. But when was the last time you openly shared about your own mental health and the steps you took to get on the road to healing? When were you so brave that you shared your need for medication and your success with it? Who was the last veteran you knew who struggled readjusting to civilian life after a long deployment? And finally, when did you call your friend and high-five them for being a champion special needs parent?

I really couldn't tell you how many people have helped us since last winter. I'm eternally grateful to our family, friends, church, and our gracious Lord. We have so much to be thankful for and so much to celebrate with our newest little Campo joining us soon. There are much worse things to suffer through than a season of unemployment {which is over, TJ has a job, praise the Lord} or figuring out your mental health, but I'm so relieved and grateful to be on the other side now.

...aaaaand back to our regularly scheduled blogging.

Hugs,

Sharon

FOUR {Lilly 2015}

2015-03-16T11:21:00.000-07:00

A month and a half ago, Lilly turned four. The day before her birthday I had a positive pregnancy test, and it's pretty much taken over my life ever since. I'm feeling so much better, and I don't want to forget this adventurous stage of Lilly Belle.

She told me she wanted a Peter Pan party with a bounce house, so that's what we went for.

But first, her actual birthday...

She woke up with the sweetest bedhead and tired face.
We took Caleb to school and headed to Target with gift cards in hand.

Always breaking for Taylor.

And she wanted a store-bought cake...from Albertson's specifically...

And a Sophia balloon.

Daddy came home at lunch time to surprise her with a rose.

She spent some time with her new toys...

And dressed like Peter to pick up Bug...

Grandma came with even more surprises...

And she learned that mixing Play Dough is okay on your birthday...

She kicked me out of her room for play time with daddy...

And we used the same candles from Caleb's 4th birthday.

I got to work on her "costume"...first time sewing a zipper!

We were able to have the party at the school TJ used to work for {sniffle/tear}. My favorite mamas, kids, and besties were all in attendance. Lilly requested everyone by name and we had a spread of sandwiches, snacks, and cupcakes. When it was time for everyone to sing Happy Birthday, she asked that only Caleb sing {my kids have serious sensitivities to loudness}. Everyone was so sweet.

From my big camera...

My Lillian Spring,

You are more adventurous than I'd ever imagined. Your spunk and spice make me want to soak up every little bit of you and save it to sprinkle on your pillow when you're an angsty teenager. I hope you're always brutally honest with your feelings and you never let anyone stifle them. May you always care for your brother as you do now; despite his protesting, he loves you very much. Stay imaginative, creative, and as adventurous as God made you.

Surprise #3

2015-02-19T15:11:00.001-08:00

So...this is happening!

Let's just say this was one big surprise. Like, big, fat, ginormous surprise. We had just had a conversation about being pretty much done {with the exception of keeping our hearts open to the possibility of adoption farther along down the road...but that's for another blog post}, and then HELLO BABY.

I could name off a million reasons as to why we felt our family was complete, but in all honesty, it wouldn't compare to what God has in store for our family. He has blessed us with two beautiful, smart, funny, creative kids, wonderful families, and the most supportive community. We are nervous, excited, joyous, and in love with our newest little Bear.

Thankful the nausea is over.

Waiting to tell the kids until we know gender.

Currently craving: Freebirds.

Already feel six months pregnant.

Excited for September 2015!

Best Friends

2015-01-24T09:34:00.000-08:00

I grew up being the fourth of five children. My older sister is nine years older than me, my two older brothers are practically Irish twins, and so my younger sister {being only three years shy of me} was my best friend.

I have only a few memories of life before her. I remember her baby shower at our church in Oregon, I vaguely remember her being born, and I remember her under those crazy lights in the hospital for jaundice. We shared a room until I was seventeen and we'd stay up late playing card games on the floor until we heard my dad's footsteps coming to tell us to go to bed.

We posed for first-day-of-school pictures together, we went to every doctor's appointment together, and we were together when she had her type one diabetes diagnosis at the itty bitty age of six.

She bugged the crap out of me, always breathing on my hand when I would play on our first family computer {an Amiga}. We took multiple road trips together with my dad; to Sedona to see our grandparents, Idaho to see our aunt & uncle, and Oregon to see old friends. We bickered and argued, but would always share a sly smile when our parents weren't looking, as if to acknowledge that we'd fooled them all.

Growing up in a family of seven was crazy, but we were never short of love and we were never far from each other. Sure I'm closer with my other siblings now, but back then, Katherine was my jam.

I'm suddenly starting to see that in Caleb and Lilly.

For so long Caleb wanted nothing to do with her. She was just this thing that made noise and tormented him. Despite his constant denial, Lilly has always persisted. She has loved is quirks and his silliness, and she has shown so much grace and patience during his hard times.

Lately when he has a meltdown, she waits patiently for him to get through it. And when he's calm, she quietly turns to me and says "Caleb had a hard time, huh mom." Even at her young age {of almost four} I've begun to explain that he's different...that sometimes he stares, sometimes he wants to be alone, that we need to respect him, and it's okay.

But when they play together, it's the happiest giggles I've ever known. They have their own little language of words that make no sense, but constantly crack them up. Caleb wants to share his Minecraft creations with her, and she wants him to do silly things like burp on command and say weird stuff. Sure they yell at each other, point at each other {gasp}, and want all the attention when the other is throwing a fit, but I'm fairly convinced that they're best friends {or at least closing in on that title}. So much answered prayer. So thankful they have each other to share childhood with.

Legoland

2015-01-19T14:38:00.002-08:00

Hi friends! We were incredibly fortunate to have been gifted tickets to Legoland for Christmas. Since the kids are completely obsessed with The Lego Movie, you can imagine how perfect it was! We'd never been as a family, so we were excited to try something new all together.

I didn't know my way around the park, had no idea what places were good for eating, where the bathrooms or quiet places were, but it wasn't hard to figure it all out.

We were so sweetly greeted by this adorable wizard (lumberjack?) on our drive in. It's a pretty easy drive down the 5.

It was pretty cold when we left the house, but I had no idea it would be almost freezing when we got down to Carlsbad {this was the night it snowed in parts of Orange County}. So yeah, we were cold!

The first thing we did when we walked in was acquaint ourselves with the sights and sounds.

As recommended by fellow autism moms, I went straight to get a disability pass. It was painless, the staff was incredibly helpful, and it was easy to use.

We went to the simplest ride we could find. It was a little Jeep riding safari, where we saw safari animals made of Legos.

Even thought it went maybe 4 mph, Caleb was still nervous, but it became a favorite by the end of the day.

Lilly hung out with TJ and had a ball digging for fossils.

One of Caleb's favorite parts of the park was this fountain. The instruments pumped out water and played music when you stepped on the pads in front of them. Fountains + instruments?! Two of Caleb's favorite things!

Next we headed to this ride that was on a track way up high. The kids had seen it on YouTube and they were excited for it. You used your feet to "pedal".

I should probably mention that it was a two hour wait for this ride, but for us it was about five minutes. While we were waiting our turn in the guest assistance line, a dad asked us where he could get one of our "passes." I was dumbfounded with an answer and then just said "our son has a disability and this helps accommodate him." I always feel weird when that question comes up. How do you explain in 30 seconds that your seemingly normal child has more going on inside of him than you'd realize, and that it's taking so much strength just to not freak out at every little part of this new experience? Anyway...

Lilly is pretty funny about pictures. I asked a nice family to take our picture, and Lilly was yelling at him "Don't take my mama's phone!!" Oy, haha!

Since it was still Christmastime, we headed to a little Christmas village where they had snow to play in.

Lilly actually wanted to stay here all day. But it was FREEZING.

I asked a few employees about their favorite places to eat in the park, and they all couldn't really come up with good recommendations...so we just ate at this little place next to the snow. Caleb got a delicious hot chocolate and a huge pretzel, Lilly got a giant churro, and we had bratwursts. It was pretty delicious!

We headed for The Lego Movie Experience, which was basically a walk-thru of a scale model of the movie.

After that, we waited for Emmett...

...and my heart melted.

Lilly was actually very excited to see Emmett, but when the employee saw that I had made her a Wyldstyle hoodie, she shouted "IT'S WYLDSTYLE!!" and it scared her.

We hung out in the Duplo area until it was time to see Wyldstyle for reals.

Lilly, when she saw her. This face. It's everything.

Happy kids.

More sand time.

The kids got to build race cars and race them...

Caleb got to push a button and make cannons go.

We played carnival games...

...and MOM won this time!

I have to point out that a Legoland employee totally photobommed this picture. I had to crop her out. Thanks, crazy girl.

Caleb had a ball going down a few big slides.

Lilly loved being in this medieval area of the park. She wanted to pretend she was Prince Phillip.

I just loved seeing her with a sword, standing in front of frilly dresses.

They had a little treehouse-Robin-Hood-ish runaround area, that Lilly loved.
Caleb went up to go down a slide, and when he got down he couldn't see us {even though we could see him}. He thought he was lost and was pretty upset about it, poor guy. Plus, there were a lot of older kids playing rough around him. We took a little break and got back to playing.

Lilly thought this Lego witch was The Scarecrow, ha!

A few more times on the safari ride, and they were ready to go home.
Did I mention it was freezing? And raining??

It was such a fun day AND we get to go back again by March.

C.M. we can't thank you enough for your sweet heart and your generosity. These are memories that will last forever; we are so blessed and so undeserving of such gifts!

God was really showing off when he made this glorious sunset.

Thanks for reading, friends. XOXO

Catching Up {part 2}

2015-01-15T07:39:00.001-08:00

Welcome back!

So this is really just a pile of iPhone photos...you know that right? Good. So here we go.

My good friend had her daughter's second birthday party and we dressed in our tutus and had a tea party. Complete with Princess Sophia story time.

Like I said yesterday, my entire family was in town. It was SO awesome.

And since TJ and I live so close to the beach, it's become quite the tradition to hang out by the pier and have breakfast.

Lilly was dressed like a pirate princess, so she was in love with this crazy windsock that looked like a pirate ship.

Cutest, sweetest nephew ever! Grayson is the most chill baby ever. My kids were never all that great at going out when they were this little. He's so smiley and happy and interactive, I just love him.

It was so wonderful to be with family; family who are also parents, who can commiserate the sleepless nights, the crazy days, and welcome your crazy and your kids craziness.

Why is Texas so far?!

Speaking of far away, Louisiana is even farther than Texas. WHYYYY.

So my best girl Melanie and her entire brood made it out to visit her family for Christmas; and we got a whole afternoon with them! I guess it's pretty cool when you're the family who never moved away; everyone always comes home to visit!

I can't tell you what her friendship means to me; notes in the mail, encouraging texts, random phone calls when we have a moment of freedom at the grocery store...MOM LIFE, I TELL YOU. I have all the feels for this girl.

Caleb and her oldest played so sweetly together {did I mention she has THREE GIRLS}. They kill me. They're so beautiful.

We're already planning their wedding.

Another totally awesome part of Chrisgmas vacation was seeing Caleb and Lilly's relationship grow. It's been making my heart BURST lately, I can hardly take it.

Oh and of course before the family left, my dad and I had to show them how Bingo at Pechanga is done.

The new year called for a giant new mug, and fancy new nails.

New Year's Day we went on a little hike and enjoyed our little family time together.

This girl is going to be FOUR in a matter of weeks. Here she is giving us her best Pippi Longstocking.

So much love for her daddy.

There are a hundred things I didn't mention, like when we went to see Into The Woods, when Katherine and Nick came with us to Christmas Eve at Beachpoint, when I gave everyone a copy of the Glenhaven house key {the house where we grew up}, when we had a Gresch family photoshoot, and much much more. I just feel so blessed by such an amazing community of family and friends. Thanks for reading, dudes.

Catching Up {part 1}

2015-01-14T18:11:00.001-08:00

Hi friends! So apparently it's near impossible for me to blog during the holidays. I'll just give you a brief recap of our last few months...

We have In N Out for lunch every Sunday. Every. Did I mention every Sunday? It was kindof an incentive to get the kids to church when I was alone while TJ in Afghanistan...and it stuck. Because autism = routine. Sigh. But this day, Calwb picked Chinese food. And now chow mien is his favorite food.

But we still have In N Out on Sundays...

Caleb's been losing his teeth like whoa. It's so crazy to see his face change. The count now is up to FOUR.

A local sushi place left a menu on my door, and they offered free delivery, so I ordered in when TJ was out one night {because TJ + sushi = BLECK}. When you get a roll that's almost half the size of your face, you take a selfie with it.

Picking out our tree was so magical with TJ home this year. The kids had so much fun at Home Depot; they had Santa's sleigh to ride in, and Elsa & Anna cutouts to photograph with.

Lilly had a barf-tastic morning, so I prepared for battle. Troops came with supplies of Pedialite {for LC} and Diet Coke {for ME} and we made it through the day. Seeing her laying on a sheet over the couch made me think of being sick as a kid.

We took lots of trips to see the Christmas Coatrack.

Helped Auntie Christy and Uncle Steven decorate their very first tree.

Lilly loves playing at her friend Luke's house. He's just the sweetest. And his mom is pretty cool too.

Auntie Tara and I took CC to his THIRD ever movie; Big Hero 6. He stayed for the whole thing and loved it.

Visited Lilly's favorite place, Hobby Lobby...more than a few times!

Lilly was gifted a ballerina Barbie and she just loved imitating her poses.

Currently reading my gift from TJ. Love her.

I painted my nails quite festively, more than a few times.

Lilly was a grump taking pictures.

Much better.

The kids playing a silly game with Grandpa.

My ENTIRE FAMILY was in town. It was crazy and exciting and full of love.

Christmas morning frocks.

Christmas morning sustenance.

Unwrapping at Grammy & Grandpa's.

My dad shook glitter allllll over me, so I was extra sparkly for dinner at TJ's mom's. Thanks pops.

Who's the best aunt ever?? ELLEN. Because she gave Christy and me Ryan Gossling "Hey Girl" cookies from Sweet & Saucy.

Pumpkin Pie with Grandma Betty.

My dad took this one of me & LC.

The Gresches on Christmas Eve at Downtown Disney.

Alright, did you make it that far down my blog?! I'll have more photos to share soon, including a generous trip to Legoland!

Xoxo Peeps

That One Time I Did A Photoshoot

2014-12-22T07:50:00.001-08:00

Hi friends!

So last week I decided to put on my big girl pants and I took photos of the kids all by myself. We don't really do the annual family portrait {if you wanna see pictures of my kids on the regular, I'm proficient in Instagram}...but with last year being so exhausting, and this year being so thankful, I wanted to share some Christmas love by sending out cards.

I've been able to capture some really great moments at Mile Square Park recently, so I felt like that would be great place to go. I had it in my head to shoot during the golden hour, but alas it was totally overcast {which actually worked out fine; a little cloud coverage can actually minimize the harsh sunlight}.

I told the kids we were going to Mile Square to feed the ducks, then take pictures, and lastly play some more. You guys. This is so helpful. Set your kids up for success! Let them know what's expected of them, kill them with kindness, have treats {I brought snowman marshmallows} and praise praise PRAISE them! I'm not going to chalk it all up to first-time-success...I use this type of narrative with everything we do. EVERYTHING. It doesn't always work, but it sure does help ease anxieties.

All of these shots are a just a few of the totally randoms. The ones that were overexposed, the ones where they're completely out of focus, and the ones where Lilly was crying because "HE'S TOUCHING ME". None of this would have been possible without my partner in crime {and total supporter of every nutty idea I have} TJ, who was acting a fool to get the kids to smile and laugh.

Overall I'd say it was a success! I have a lot to learn still about working the camera, but oh by golly, I love these kids. Merry Christmas, dudes!

^proof that Lilly let me curl her hair^

Santa

2014-12-13T09:38:00.000-08:00

A recap of last night's Campo Adventures...

We had planned on taking the kids to see Santa tonight, but on a whim we decided to forgo our favorite {incredibly populated mall} and headed to Westminster Mall last night.

The kids were totally fine with it being a different mall, and they were completely excited to see Santa for their very first time. Caleb told us he was going to ask him for a new marble game and a spinning toy, and Lilly said she wanted him to bring her a Zarina doll {she thought he was going to give it to her right then, so we had a lot of story-telling to do about Santa}.

The mall wasn't busy in the least, we came upon Santa right where we entered, and there were maybe eight families in front of us.

I had to tell them the routine of how this sort of thing goes down.

First, say hello. Then, tell him what you want. Last, we take a picture.

And that's when Lilly got anxious. She didn't want a picture. She didn't want the huge flash. And instead of telling her to suck it up {which would've produced not one but two crying kids}, I politely asked the attendant if we could attempt a photo sans flash. They were more than willing to help!

After about 20 minutes of waiting, it was our turn.

Caleb ran with GUSTO to greet him. He hopped right in his lap and already had his cheese face on.

Lilly didn't want to be put down. She wanted to say hi, but in the arms of her daddy. And so TJ did what any great father would do, and quickly sat next to Santa with her on his lap. And so, while we didn't plan it, we all jumped in the picture together.

The attendant unplugged the flash and took a few quick photos...that were completely black {if you don't use a flash, you have to change your settings on the camera...I know this, but the girl pushing the camera button didn't know...}. So she quickly plugged the flash back in, took one quick shot, and we came out with this.

Not everyone looking, but everyone smiling.

As the kids were saying goodbye, Santa grabbed my hand. He leaned in close to tell me that he's a part of a program called Caring Santa {for special needs families, which I know about} and he spends as much time as he wants with families. We had to miss it this year, because of Navy work, so this was the next best thing. But also, how did he know? Was it that obvious? Sometimes I think we're fooling everyone in this Autism-game, and other days I feel like the whole world must know. Whatever the reason, it doesn't really matter, because he was a sweet Santa who made my kids smile.

As I was paying for our photos, the attendant gave us an extra set of 5x7s for TJ's military service, and mentioned again about the Caring Santa program.

Overall I'd say it was an excellent first-time-visiting-Santa-experience.

Merry Christmas!

Target Last Night

2014-12-03T16:19:00.001-08:00

This is a completely random post; a story I wanted to tell that was too long for IG or FB, so I'm putting it here.

Last night in a moment of freedom, I made a quick trip to Target for my cookie exchange. I really only needed a few baking items, but somehow I started browsing the back wall in the clearance section of the women's department {because Target}. I lingered longer than I thought I would, sorting through five-dollar sweaters that weren't worth five dollars, and I noticed I was inadvertently shadowing another woman who was doing the same.

She was around my age, we had similar taste in sweaters, and she had her school-aged son in her shopping cart. I noticed him grumble and make sounds {was he tired? was he sick? or just being a pest?}. And then his mom quietly said "Please don't whine, use your words, or use your sign language." I had a hunch he had a special need, but plenty of parents tell their kids to use their words...I felt like I wanted to say hi, but couldn't...so I headed to get groceries {I'm slightly socially awkward, I know}.

After finally getting my cocoa powder and chocolate chips {and failing to locate pear juice}, I checked out went for the exit. It was pouring rain. Pouring! I ran like a nut to my car, unloaded my cart, and decided to be a good citizen and put my cart away in the right spot, because I would not want to be the employee having to bring them all in during a downpour. In the midst of jumbled, empty carts, I noticed someone had left a Christmas garland they had bought on the underside of their cart {worst nightmare!}. And in the middle of the rain I picked it up and ran it back in.

Just as I was walking over to guest services, I saw her; the same woman with her son that I had avoided saying hello to back in the women's section when I first got there. Her son was in a squat position in the cart, and he had a large braces around his hips. I had no idea the manner of his disability, but it was clear that she and I had more in common than five-dollar sweaters. After I handed in the deserted Christmas garland, I touched her shoulder from behind and said "Hi, I just wanted to tell you that you're a really good mom. I'm sorry, I realize I don't know you, but I can see that you're a really good mom." She smiled and said "Thank you so much!" And I headed out to my car {just a wee bit teary}.

She didn't need to know that I too was a special needs parent, or that I've had the blessing of random strangers saying that to me, but she just needed to hear that she was a good mom. And you are too...you tired mama who's reading this. You've got dirty socks on the floor, dishes in the sink, whiney kids, and no plans for dinner? You're doing a great job. Christ sees you, and you are so loved by Him.

God clearly put that long lost Christmas garland on an empty shopping cart for a reason.

Ten On Ten {Nov '14}

2014-11-10T22:00:00.001-08:00

It's 10 on 10 and we went to Knott's, so that means I'm super tired and I don't feel like posting the entire play by play, but I really want to share the day, so here are some photos.

The kids were PERFECT.

Caleb overcame a huge obstacle and rode Jaguar THREE TIMES.

Lilly was perfectly content with the merry go round and shopping with mom.

We both ate way too much.

G'night.

TWENTY LAPS

2014-11-06T13:11:00.002-08:00

“Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in Him, because we trust in His holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in You” (Psalm 33:20-22).

I shared that verse at the end of last year's post on the jogathon, Two Laps. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend you take five minutes.

Caleb's come so far in so many ways this past year. I feel like there are more and more achievements we're continually celebrating. He still has so many struggles {it's important to remember some struggles will always be there}, but man, oh man, today I'm on cloud nine.

All week I had been reminding him about the jogathon, and for some reason he wanted so bad for me to not be there. Maybe he was remembering all of the years spent crying at jogathons. Whatever the reason, I wasn't going to get my hopes up. And then this morning while dipping his waffle in syrup, he excitedly said "Mom! You're going to watch me and my friends run today!" Talk about relief. He was cool with be being there, with wearing his old shirt from last year, with Lilly coming, etc.

This year I had to prepare Lilly...for the crowds of noisy kids, for the adults that might heaven forbid talk to her, and for the loud music they were going to be playing. Jogathons are serious business, and they're a whole lot of crazy; I just wanted to be sure that her attitude didn't change Caleb's cheery disposition during a very chaotic morning.

Everything went incredibly smoothly. Lilly kept it together {for the most part} and Caleb proudly ran each lap and called out when he came by to get his laps tallied. When heads it to four laps, his teacher, aide, and I did a little happy dance. And then he kept going. And going. We all stood and couldn't believe how well he was doing. He was high-fiving his friends, grabbing water, walking a bit, and was overall having a great time. As one of the aides mentioned, it was like night and day from last year.

After an hour of run/walking {in 80° dry-Santa-Ana-wind-heat}, he had successfully completed twenty laps.

TWENY LAPS.

That help, that shield, that hope that the Psalmist talked about in the above scripture, I'm confident is what we experienced today. The Lord's steadfast love was so graciously upon us as we cheered on our Bug. Even something as small as the jogathon is going to be a big celebration in our house, because TWENTY LAPS is a big deal. Great job, Bug. Can't wait to see what you do next year.

Dental at CHOC

2014-10-22T18:13:00.000-07:00

Another big event, another blog post.

This time was for dental work.

Taking your kid to the dentist is generally a less than desirable event. Now imagine your child has autism and that everything is a constant assault on his senses. Because of this I sought out the best special needs dentist in our area. His first visit was a simple checkup, and they really only counted his teeth. Without x-rays, they could already see what needed to be done. The plan was to schedule an OR at CHOC, knock everything out in one visit, and then instill healthy trips to the dentist to reduce anxiety.

I was so pleased with her plan of action that I got right to work on our part. By the Grace of God we got our insurance to approve an out-of-the-ordinary expense, so we scheduled our CHOC appointment as soon as we could.

Children's Hospital of Orange County is an amazing hospital to say the least. Not only do they have some of the best doctors and staff in the country, but their process for ASD families is extraordinary.

We arrived one hour prior to surgery {the usual is two} to decrease our wait time, which in turn decreases anxiety. We didn't have to check in, we just walked straight to security to get our stickers and our paperwork.

Auntie Christy {Tj's sister, who happens to be a Child Life Specialist} met us in her adorable blue scrubs. Caleb stopped in his tracks when she noticed that she looked like hospital personnel.

Caleb has a serious phobia of elevators {sigh...} so Christy walked us up the stairwell to the OR floor.

Caleb was pretty mesmerized by these racing bubbles.

We didn't have to wait long before we were in our room.

Auntie Christy had prepared us with a lot. We had a bag of practice tools at home, and she even printed a picture slide-show of what Caleb was going to expect. We checked off each thing as we completed them {vital signs, changing into jammies, drinking the pink medicine etc}.

He even got to put scented chapstick on his anesthesia mask before he went back. He picked banana.

After he drank a sedative that made him loopy and giggly, he stared down the hall {into nothing}, and said "Mom...LOOK...DOWN THERE!" ...where, Bug?

"Mom! I'm sleeping! I DID IT!!"

"Hiiiiiiiii Daaaaaaaad! Hahahahahahaha!"

He had no problem at all being wheeled into the OR, and lucky us, Auntie Christy got to accompany him until he was asleep {this picture is from her}.

After a recharge at Starbucks and the delicious cafeteria {seriously, so good}, we got a mini tour.

Did you know they have their very own Turtle Talk with Crush?! Hello! AMAZING.

I literally hadn't been in CHOC for ten years, and they've done so many amazing improvements to it.

Seacrest Studios, where Ryan Seacrest frequents {as do fancy guests}.

This is the most recent addition, a theatre room for patients.

TJ showing off his bball skillz in the youth play room.

After our mini tour, we said goodbye to our beloved Christygirl and headed upstairs to wait.

The whole procedure took about two hours. They took full x-rays, filled cavities, and took care of a few other things. One thing about Caleb is he won't say something hurts unless it really hurts, and by that time unfortunately, when it comes to teeth, it's just about too late to be preventative.

He had a few popsicles and we were ready to check out. He was pretty calm coming out of anesthesia, we were so pleased. The only thing he pitched a fit about was how we left; he couldn't walk on his own because he was so groggy, but he couldn't sit in a wheelchair because wheelchairs don't go down stairs, and we have to go down the stairs because he's afraid of elevators. Oy. SO TJ had to carry him, and he didn't like "being carried like a baby" haha! How's that for independence?!

As always, God's sovereign hand was in everything and we're so thankful for everyone's prayers and encouragement. I'm just so thankful we were there under such minor circumstances. Thanks again to Grandma for watching Lilly Belle, and once again, Good Job Bug.

#bpcSEEK2014

2014-10-20T08:37:00.000-07:00

I had the great blessing to be able to go to this year's women's retreat with our church. I'm not sure I can completely express how God moved in my heart this weekend, but it was so needed, so longed for, and I am so glad I went. I feel like He's pushed the reset button on my heart and I'm forever grateful.

The cross before me,

The world behind me,

No turning back,

No turning back.

InstaFriday

2014-10-17T09:20:00.003-07:00

I haven't shared the stories behind my IG photos in a while, so here are this week's {plus a few extras because I love y'all so much}.

Back when TJ was deployed I was determined to take the kids to church by myself. It was not an easy task, but week by week we made it work with a lot of help from The Lord and a little help from our gold old friend In-N-Out.

And so it continues. Every week. In-N-Out for lunch. After church. Every Sunday. Did I mention every Sunday? I might be shot for saying this, but I could gladly go a year without eating it...

After church on Sundays, TJ usually heads in to work to get his HPU homework/studying done...so we at home get real creative. Just a little Crayola paint mixed with a squirt of lotion to make it less chalky, and we have ourselves a kitty and a Ninja Turtle. All I see in this photo is Lilly's GIANT eyes that are popping with that splash of purple on them. I think I should hide all makeup from her until she's thirty.

After Sunday dinner at Grandma's house, we headed to a pumpkin patch. Caleb climbed up all the crazy blowup slides and obstacle courses. Lilly went in a bounce house and pranced around with a little ghost/witch-on-a-stick {Halloween is her fave}.

Hey, it's our first real family pumpkin patch photo! El Oh El, Lilly.
Oh, and in case you think it was perfect and completely #HAPPY like CC's shirt, let me just tell you about the few meltdowns over phrases like "one more time on the slide, Bug" and "one more minute" and "put your shoes on"...oh those shoes...sweaty sockless feet + Vans don't mix. It was extra awesome when I was talking Caleb through his on-the-floor/in-the-hay meltdown, and multiple kids crowded around and stared. STARED.
Go'on brush your shoulders off...

I found this relic among my mother-in-law's bookshelves. It's a book on the history of the City of Fullerton, written for gradeschoolers. I read it, learned all about the history of Harbor Boulevard, Plummer Auditorium, and the El Camino Real. If you did too, then you're in the coolest club ever. Love me some Fullerton.

We discovered the coolest park in our neighborhood. I can't believe we'd never been. It's full of trees, benches, playgrounds, swings, and this totally weird cemented area on a hill that has a basketball court. Made for a pretty sweet silhouette from below.

Caleb lost his SECOND TOOTH. He pulled it out all by himself! And when I went to wash it out in the bathroom sink, it slipped through my fingers and was washed away. UGH. I had a moment of "Do I open the trap under the sink and retrieve it? How many of these dead teeth am I gonna save??" But then I pulled an old George Banks with Zuzu's petals and got his FIRST TOOTH, pretended I had just washed it, and let him put it under his pillow...after all, the tooth faerie did need to come.
UPDATE: she left him two whole dollars!!

First Grade, school photo. Shirt from Uncle Sean. Cheeseface brought to you by the sight of a big camera. What a ham sandwich.

This week was crazy busy. Our car needed new brakes. Brake pads? Rotors? Whatever, it needed to get done and my parents were so sweet to lend us their car for a few days. When ours was ready, I took the kids up to visit Grandpa at the school where he teaches. They had a ball watching California Screamin' on the smartboard and wrote out math equations on the whiteboard.

Their current favorite is to play "Look Out Caleb"...it's where Grandpa throws a squishy ball over CC's head while they lay on the floor and giggle.

Then we had date night with Tara. Went and saw Gone Girl {which is INSANE}. Since I got to pick Coke Zero over Diet Coke at the theatre, TJ made me get in the '89 Sheepdog with Lloyd and Harry.

And now I'm reassembling Cloud Cuckoo Land for CC since I'll be with my girls this weekend at the Beachpoint Women's Retreat. HOLLA!

Happy Friday, Party People!

Linking up here on Life Rearranged.

The Best Checkup

2014-10-16T18:23:00.003-07:00

I've posted about taking Caleb to the doctor a few times {here and here}, so I won't explain all of the preparation and planning that goes in to every doctor visit {no matter how small}. And let me tell you, there are many.

With his upcoming oral surgery, {to take care of a few dental needs}, he needed to have a pre-op physical by our pediatrician. I told him he was going to the doctor for a checkup and no shots just the day before.

Let me tell you just how much Caleb has grown. We used to tell him about the doctor as we were walking out the door...while he was white knuckling the doorframe, kicking and screaming. We used to never be able to get height and weight {TJ would step on, then step on with him and they'd subtract the difference}. I used to have to hold him the entire time, bouncing, swaying, singing in his ear. He would scream at the stethoscope, the tongue depressor, the thermometer...and those aren't even the shots. Last year we had an incredibly great visit with our wonderful pediatrician who gets it. She was patient, quiet, calm.

This time was not unlike last year; it went very well. But yesterday was the very first time he didn't cry, not one tear. He stood for height and weight without an issue. And when we went back into the exam room, I sat in a chair while he handled the whole thing COMPLETELY on his own. I didn't have to hold him down while the doc looked in his ears, or when he was touched with the cold stethoscope, or even when they checked his blood pressure. He sat up, layed down, said AAAAAH, all while I stayed in my seat. I wanted to cry; all I could say was "Good job, Bug, you're doing great, way to go."

It's interesting though. He was able to communicate that he was nervous and still took it all in stride. Just for fun, here's a little video of him waiting for the doc. Usually when he's nervous he rambles on and on, trying to make sense of everything, trying to share bits and pieces that are in his head, his mind overloaded with thoughts. I guess it's probably what it's like for him every day. I'm just grateful that he feels he can share these things with me {even if the highlight is simply going to Denny's}.

TO THE RESCUE

2014-10-15T09:38:00.002-07:00

Last week I was scrolling through my FB when I saw our local police department had posted that the Fire Station was going to be hosting an Open House. And it was going to be free! I've always wanted to take the kids to visit a fire station; because they're young {and we have a dash of autism}, we want to make these things a little less scary for them in case of an emergency. It just so happens that a fireman had visited Caleb's school just the day before, so fire safety was fresh in his mind.

We arrived right when the event started and it wasn't very crowded. My friend Sarah and her two littles were there and the kids were excited to see familiar faces.

Lilly was a bit overwhelmed. All of the firemen were eager to say hello, but she was in a funk and remained antisocial. It's okay though, there was a lot going on. I was so surprised that Caleb was doing so well.

After taking it all in, he ran right over to try on the fire fighting gear.

He was very impressed with himself {thanks, forward facing iPhone camera}.

He didn't want to put on the heavy jacket. The fireman asked him as he was draping it around his shoulders from behind and I think it made him a little nervous.

They even had an ambulance to check out.

Here's Little Luke, or Lukebear as he's more commonly known. His baby sister kindof stole his fun since she needed another nap {how rude}, so they left a bit before we did. HI SARAH.

Obviously Caleb was very interested in the hubcaps. He likes his reflection and enjoys different perspectives.

I mean...

After he worked up the courage, Caleb jumped right into the driver's seat of the ambulance.

And then he hopped on board a real big fire truck with dad.

We were also allowed inside the actual Fire House. They were preparing the hot dogs for the grills outside.

Looks like Chief Campo wasn't too impressed with last month's response times. Let's get it together, guys!

They even got to rock around in the LazyBoys.

All in all it was a great experience. Do you follow your local civil servant groups on social media sites? I do and I think it's a great way to connect with the community and encourage safety for all. Thanks, FVFD!

SAFETY FIRST, FRIENDS!

Ten On Ten {October '14}

2014-10-10T21:14:00.001-07:00

I took ten photos today thanks to this girl for reminding me.

He has an Eggo every morning. But only during the week. And he put on his Spiritwear all by himself.

LC was tested {on multiple platforms} for speech. Still waiting for an official report, but it seems that's she's on track but with a slight deviation from the norm. Did I mention I love our public schools? I mean...these are free services! By experts in their field! I love you, teacher friends...

I really love when they play together.

And when they sleep together.

I made this. One of our favorites. So I'm a little heavy handed with the cilantro SOWHATWHOCARES. I have no intention of befriending Ina and Jeffrey any time soon, even if I actually could summer in the Hamptons.

This pooch. Sweet pup. DJ Lance Rock Rocky Balboa Banana Bar.

Caleb was looking forward to Friday all week for the sole purpose of going to Trader Joe's and buying frozen macarons. They're NOT as good as fresh {DUH} but they do the job for Bug, who's currently obsessed. The iPad game Mickey's Castle of Illusion has a candy level...and Mickey "has to jump from cookie to cookie."

I'll let you guess where they are...on the floor in his room. And Caleb is hopping over them. And eating them.

Treat that I thought Lilly would love. Mochi ice cream. She hated it. MORE FOR ME.

Escaping to LC's room and remembering I need to do something with that blank wall in there.

She earned this bow & arrow, after two hours of testing today. She was a champ, and now she can give Merida a run for her money. IT'S JUST MY BOW.

HAPPY FRIDAY, PLAYAS!

Linking up here...

Sights From My iPhone

2014-10-07T11:00:00.000-07:00

Hey! So I lost the chord that goes from my iPhone to the computer, so I have endless photos to load but nowhere to store them...which is why I'm going to blog them...? Makes sense... This should be about two weeks of happenings. Ready??

The kids love the Irvine Spectrum for the sole reason of Dave & Buster's. Sure there's another one closer to our house, but since we thrive on sameness we're gonna keep driving to Irvine for a cheep thrill.

Caleb was actually pretty good at this game. He only went to it because it's called Johnny Appleseed.

Trying to get Lilly to CHEESE if she can't see herself can be quite a task. But I guess if you're daddy, anything is possible.

I had a lot of comments on IG regarding TJ's shirt. It's from Sevenly.org in support of The National Autism Association.

Front facing camera, I thank you.

If you live in Southern California, then you drive on freeways. It's a way of life. If you have kids, then you get to use the carpool lane {aka the bobsleds}. Lots of curvy, winding, hilly bobsleds = hands up like you're on California Screamin'. DUH.

Handsome kid on picture day, with his shirt from Uncle Sean. STUD.

I got to help make paper fans for an upcoming retreat. LOVE.

We were on our way to the Packing House for a date when someone flagged us down for a flat tire. Making the most of it we stayed in town, ate at Island's, and caused a scene at the grocery store, because NO KIDS.

Lilly picked out this awesome clown hat from Hobby Lobby for ~~having a good~~ making it through her dentist visit. She's so gorgeous, I can hardly stand it.

THIS awesome dude turned ONE YEAR OLD. My nephew Grayson is the cutest. EVER.

Grandma took me and the kids to see Disney's Peter Pan Jr. performed by the Biola Youth Theatre. They made it through the first act and we left at intermission. I couldn't believe how quiet and attentive they were!

Hope they'll be up for many more shows...musical theatre was a HUGE part of my childhood.

I mean, Grandma + his blankie?!

I was surprised that it wasn't the original Peter Pan I had grown up on, but I was pleasantly pleased, since it was pretty much completely directed for children.

Happened upon this gorgeous Vietnam memorial. The kids touched the water along the fountain for a while until I started feeling guilty that it was a memorial...have a little respect, Sharon!

We went to "Darby and Finn's House" to celebrate Vanessa's bday. Caleb got a kick out of someone's awesome helmet.

And he showed Darby the ropes of California Screamin'.

I made this...

For Christy's birthday...

Auntie Tara dropped off Sprinkles Cupcakes JUST BECAUSE SHE'S AWESOME.

And this morning I made it to Starbucks' Gold Level. PRIORITIES.

Dear Caleb

2014-09-26T07:38:00.002-07:00

Caleb's room isn't much of a masterpiece.

I am not a lifestyle blogger, a designer, or even a collector of nice things.

My childhood bedrooms consisted of hand-me-down furniture {I was number four out of five kids}, not to mention I shared my room with my little sister until I was seventeen.

I guess you could say that Caleb's room is pretty similar to what we had as kids.

I've always wanted to photograph this space when he's away at school; when he leaves his toys in the middle of play and nothing has been picked up.

We aren't bed makers in this house. Only two out of the four of us have beds to actually make {we technically just lift ours up every morning}. Maybe one day we will, but for now I have no time to instill this chore.

Thanks to The Lego Movie, Caleb's obsessed with Lego's, which is a pretty awesome thing since it encourages pretend play and helps with fine motor skills. I'm officially the mom who steps barefoot on a Lego and wants to scream...but alas, everyone's asleep.

With his other obsession {watching California Screamin' at California Adventure} being so costly, we've built five different K'NEX coasters together. FIVE.

And he still loves maps. And streets. And anything with a sequence.

We hardly read from this stack of books together, because now I read from our bed, but they always stay here, waiting to be returned to.

My mom was on a mission many years ago to find him this BRIO train set.

He recreates California Screamin.

And he'll leave it there until I pick it up because I'm tired of tripping over it.

Apparently he wanted to look at pictures from when TJ was gone; found this little album I made TJ in his room.

I can literally tell you where every one of those stuffies came from...

that the tiger is the only thing he's slept with since his crib days {from Uncle Paul/Aunt Jo}.

that his Brown bear is more than loved {from Uncle Sean/Aunt Shannon}.

that the out of focus blue elephant doesn't play twinkle twinkle anymore {Ellie the Elephant from Uncle Pete/Aunt Eileen}.

that the faded green turtle still shines starts {from Auntie Christy}.

that he used to drum as we'd chant "We're Not Gonna Take It" {from Uncle Paul/Aunt Jo}.

and that I splurged on that Sonic at Target this summer {thanks for the thumbs up, man}.

And then in this little container, just some water and leaves...or fish to Caleb...to show me that our house is "kindof like a pet store, mom!" Awesome.

Off in this little corner, amongst forgotten toys and the dust collected on an old coffee table, are a few books.

Things I had reserved for decorations that have been pushed aside for things that are of more interest to him.

The most important one being this.

I wrote a little blurb about this journal a while ago here.

I bought it when I was pregnant and began writing to Caleb, even before we knew he was a boy.

I recorded milestones and thoughts I had.

I wrote every time he met an out of town family member, I wrote about the Dodgers, and I wrote about how blessed we were by our families.

It was easy for me to write because TJ was gone for five months at boot camp and a-school.

It was a great distraction.

I even shared the best card game ever {if you're a Gresch}.

Shanghai.

I guess this was turning out to be a little like his baby book {minus the newspaper from when he was born, his first haircut clippings, and pictures}.

I wrote just about every month for three years...

And then I stopped.

A lot of autism parents find themselves in a hard spot when they talk about pre/post diagnosis, and I am one of them. It's interesting because you can't look back at pictures of Caleb and immediately "see" his autism...technically you can't at all. But you can see it in his lack of expression, in his far off gazes and in his interest in stemming...so there are always those thoughts {as small as they are} that creep in when I'm feeling nostalgic.

But then there's this book, this journal where I poured out my hopes for him. I can look back and read where autism was present and I hadn't realized it. I read how Caleb wasn't talking a lot, but he loved to repeat things over and over. More than a few mentioned that we weren't at church again because he couldn't handle the noises the other children made. And of course I mentioned Lilly's grand entrance into the world and how he greeted her with "ADIOS AMIGO!"

I've mentioned before that I felt like I always knew he was autistic...but there's something about this journal and this Welcome to Holland moment that had me caught up...for three years. I'm not going to beat myself up about it {the early years of autism are rough, rough}, but I really wish I had kept writing in there for him. Part of what kept me away were my own thoughts: what's the point; he might not ever want to read it let alone understand what I wrote...but that attitude was doing nothing except limiting my Caleb and all of his strengths.

So today I threw that attitude out the window and played a little catch-up...

I love you with all of my heart and I'm SO PROUD of you.

Ten On Ten {September '14}

2014-09-10T23:39:00.000-07:00

Today's the tenth! And I took photos! Surprised?? So here we go.

Today was the first day that Lilly and I graced Target with our presence since school started. Ah Target, my old friend. If you know anything about Lilly, then you know how much she loves to dress up and play pretend. Her #ootd consisted of her Merida dress, a fairy cape, her pixie dust pouch {with Legos inside}, Hello Kitty boots and a Hello Kitty headband. And of course she just had to have the pirate sword and hook when we walked by the dollar spot. TARGET DOES IT AGAIN.

On the way home from grocery shopping I turned up the radio {yes I still listen to the radio} when that oldie Footloose came on. It was completely surreal listening to it in the car with my girl. When we were kids we used to have the soundrack on tape and we'd blare it with the windows rolled down while driving through the neighborhood.

It's been so hot lately. SO HOT. When we wait to pick up Bug, we just stay in the car with it running, and blast the airconditioning while eating snacks.

She was a little more than hesitant about the new Ninja Turtle fruit snacks.

Through my little Instagram community, I've befriended more than a few special needs moms. There's something so instantly connecting about special needs parenting; not just autism parenting {although that in and of itself is a whole other discussion}. I have such a heart for special needs children and their parents. It's a different {not less} way of life, and you only truly understand when you're in it. Special needs parents are determined, compassionate, and incredibly strong.

Somehow along my social media journey, I began following Jess on IG {@jessbriebernardin}. Her little bug Oliver has Adrenal Insufficiency, Panhypopituitarism, Growth Hormone Dificiency, Hypothyroidism, and Hypoglycemia. He's almost two years old and his little body has been through so much...and Jess has been through so much, but she's put her hope in The Lord. Reading her posts about trusting God through every piece of life encourages and inspires me every day.

Jess and her husband decided to create a film to raise awareness for their son, to show their dependence on The Lord, and to call attention to Adrenal Insufficiency {which is one of the most undertreated diseases}. They launched their Kickstarter Dependent: His Story and raised enough to begin filming. They also wanted to support other special needs families through the film, so with the help of Tiny Superheroes, Caleb has become a member of the Tiny Superheroes Squad. He was given his very own cape complete with his initial. I'm so happy to be supporting Jess and her little Oliver, and I'm so blessed and encouraged by her words. Keep on keepin' on!

I mean...even his little chicken legs are adorable.

For so long Caleb would just rip the paper off of crayons; he wouldn't use them as they were intended...so I never buy them. Ever. It's been maybe a year {or two}. OH and he would have a meltdown when a crayon would break. So we've been a markers-only-house for so long! Auntie Erin gave him a set of crayons for his birthday and now that's all he wants! Cracks me up. He really wanted to show me Todo the turtle from a Dr. Panda app. He was so proud.

This is actually one of my favorite spots in my house...and it's next to the toilet! Because we don't have a room I have to be creative with how/where I decorate with my "me things". These are all cards and little things from my favorites. My best girls, my best sisters, the husband, and so many people. I feel like I could name exactly who each card is from and when it was given to me {if this was on IG, I'd tag y'all}.

And tonight after a long summer off, my lovely little Beachpoint lifegroup met and played catch-up. I love those girls so much and I'm so thankful for each and every one of them. That little round, golden looking thing is a beautiful little mirror made of bamboo that my friend Amelia brought back for me from her trip to India, ministering to the Molsom people in Tripura. Amazing things happening over there!

My best best bestest TBoner made this gloriousness for me. FROM SCRATCH. Gruyere and Rosemary.

And because TJ is up in Big Bear with the middleschoolers, I'll say peace out, blogland...

Immabout to get my bread on...

First Grade, First Day, Caleb

2014-09-03T09:47:00.000-07:00

I've had a smile on my face all morning.

This is our 4th first-day with Caleb and it has been the best, by far.

This summer was busy and crazy. And we've actually seen behaviors from our Bug that we haven't experienced. Could it have been from all the business? The change in schedule? The commotion of so much family and new faces in town? The heat? The few days where there was a lull in activities? These are things I think about. Constantly.

Whatever the reason, we have been so ready for school. Caleb knew the shirt he wanted to wear. He was okay when I reminded him that socks were a school rule. He was open to a change in what I pack him for luch. He even had something different for breakfast. And he didn't bat an eye when I told him that it was time to leave his precious blankie at home; that it doesn't need to come with us in the car all the time.

He was so thrilled to see his teacher and his little buddy from last year {hello...BFD here!}. He's in the same room he was in last year, but this time he's a big FIRST GRADER and he knows it.

I couldn't help but smile all the way there, taking photos, and all the way home. What a stark contrast to this post from last year {remember...? a certain someone was deployed??}. I'm so looking forward to fall, the holidays, our schedule, and most importantly having us all together for all of these things. I'm giving all of my anxieties about therapies, IEPs, behavior charts, and conferences over to The Lord and trusting Him with it all.

And now to spend some quality time with my Lilly Belle.

Summer Business {Part 3}

2014-08-31T16:07:00.002-07:00

Finally, the last instament in my Summber Business series. This has been one crazy, tiring, fun filled summer. I hope this isn't a regurgitation of my Instagram {I'm @bugandbelle over there}. Let's recap the weeks, shall we?

FIRST of all, right after my Houston family came into town, my little sister {aka Auntie Katherine} came out for a visit from El Paso, where she has her home with her soldier husband and their two pups. I couldn't get enough of her. We're only three years apart in age, we grew up together, and even though we've been apart for a good amount of adulthood, she is my heart and soul.

After I let Caleb stay up late to help me pick her up from the airport, we had Costco pizza at the Gresch Compound.

We had to do the cool new thing and hit up the Anaheim Packing House with all of our friends who hadn't seen her in so long. And even my dad tagged along {did I mention he'd won $400 playing Bingo at Pechanga?}. I'll let you guess you payed for dinner ; )

One thing I'm not all too fonde of at the Packing House is that it closes near 9pm. Each vendor really has it's own business schedule, but in my opinion they'd be better off staying open til at least 11 on weekends. Anyone??

My first time at Umami Burger and all I ordered was this amazing drink {the Rico Suavé}. It was sweet, but cool; it was like drinking a spa-day. Oh and I had a few bites of Tara's Truffle Burger. Hot DARN it was amazing.

Auntie Katherine joined us for a morning at the Newport Pier. The surf was calm and easy, the tide was low and it made for a mother's dream when it came to watching my kids.

We headed to our usual spot at DTD. Lilly Belle so beautifully modeling her adorable skirt by Melanie at The Twirl Shop.

We ditched Katherine one day and had Sunday dinner with the other side of the family. Caleb requested that he wear his wedding clothes {sure kid}. And the. They were both standing on this chair, reaching for tree branches. They were wobbling a bit, so I asked them to sit down. And then my heart exploded. I whipped out my phone, Caleb voluntarily put his arm around her, and I died a thousand deaths. Moments like these are so precious to me because they don't happen all the time. They're usually screaming...and I mean screaming.

Monday came and we headed to the Aquarium with Katherine, Tara, and my Dad.

This kid tried to drink the water more than once; he'd seriously swim in there with the stingrays if it was allowed.

This next part was something we'd never seen before. It's a giant model/demo that illustrates how rainwater flows through Southern California and into the oceans. There are buttons to push to make it rain, and it's complete with a scale model of the topography of the region and the local freeways. Caleb was in heaven. He knows every freeway we drive, everywhere we go, and every street. It's a thing. A big thing.

And this thing spins around, so duh, he loved it.

And who knew they had a little stingray?! He was so thrilled.

And the glow-in-the-dark jellyfish. Always the jellyfish {because you can touch them}.

We ended at Island's for lunch, and sated goodbye to Auntie Katherine : (

We recently had a date and went back to the Packing House; this time for a Popbar. It was delicious.

We also had dinner at Tony's Deli. It was SO SO GOOD; a new favorite {owned by Hero's in Downtown Fullerton}.

I usually hang out at home with the kids. Our one-car-situation forces me to get creative. This day we marched up to the dollar store and boughtpopsicles.

We brought home Mighty Mouse Cream Sodas for the kids from Tony's Deli. Caleb was making his Mighty Mouse look like Santa with a Bugle.

We enjoyed an afternoon at Prehistoric Pets with Auntie Tara and the snapping turtles {not to mention the anniconda, the monitor lizards, dragon lizards, and all different kinds of snakes}.

Friends who say yes to having you escape your house for an hour are amazing friends. SC, I'm so glad you're so awesome and only live up the street.

Likewise, neighbors who bring you Dutch Country pretzel dough are awesome neighbors to have.

Explored a new splash pad.

Fifty cent cones at IKEA {way past her bedtime}.

We've been spending a lot of time at the park. Lots of picnics.

I hope my silly faces always make her smile.

Had a fun swim day at Aunty Christy & Uncle Steven's new apartment, and ended at George Washington Park. Lilly was quite taken with twin sisters who were having some quincenera photos taken. And now I wanted her to have one when she's fifteen. Ya?

Hurricane Marie to the southwest has caused crazy surf at our beaches. After our Chipotle date, we cruised down to the pier to see it. It was gnarly.

I love him.

And last night we played in it.

Salty, sweaty, sandy.

Counting down until Caleb's first day of First Grade...four more days!

Hugs, friends!!

100th Post {Disneyland, Again}

2014-08-25T14:26:00.000-07:00

THIS IS MY ONE HUNDREDTH POST!

First of all, thank you for reading. I love having this little space to share my thoughts and am so encouraged by the support I've received to continue writing. I'm so thrilled to have made new/old friends who have become a part of my daily mom-life, and I cannot believe the connections I've made on this journey of autism motherhood. When I began blogging, I had really just wanted to share our autism experiences with you so you'd all have a better understanding of what we were going through. What this little blog has turned into has been more encouraging than I ever thought. Thank you.

I don't know how exactly this worked out, but today's post is...a Disneyland post. I mean, how perfect is that! It just so happens to be the next thing chronologically to be added as I play catch-up with my summer posts. So perfect.

Remember last June when we were blessed with a couple of Disneyland days? That was pretty awesome, right? As if we could be any more hooked up, an opportunity arose for us to be signed in to the parks {through a raffle in my parents' community - thanks again, Mom & Dad}. Since we had just recently been with both kids, we tossed around the idea of taking just one of them {since a sign-in would only get three of us in for free}. As I'm sure you've seen, we've taken Caleb alone to Disneyland more than once, and we realized it was Lilly's turn to have a girl's date. Then TJ suggested I take my BFF {Auntie Tara} so we could have adult time later that day. DUDES. Adult time at Disneyland is the greatest. So pumped.

First off, I just wanted to share with you this little bridge by Sleeping Beauty's Castle. This is where TJ proposed on my twentieth birthday. It's My Bridge. No one else's.

Okay so after meeting our contact, him signing us in, and us waiting in what seemed to be the longest Fantasy Faire line ever, we finally got to meet some princesses...because when you have a girls day, you see the princesses.

Lilly is pretty hilarious. She was so excited to see each princess, but wouldn't talk to them, or look them in the eye.

Merida. We have so many Merida photos. And she's always hiding because she loves her so much.

She really wanted Small World, and since it was a billion degrees, Tara and I wanted it too {twenty minutes of air conditioning, people}. And who doesn't LOVE the Mary Blaire art in there. Ps I made her skirt, out of an old sheet and some frilly frills I had on hand. Find the tutorial here.

Did you all know about the Marvel comics you can see inside Innoventions? Since Disney purchased Marvel you can see Ironman, Thor, and Captain America. Lilly LOVES superheroes, just as much as she loves princess dresses and crowns. We walked around for a bit, but decided the lines were a bit too long, so we headed to Pirates.

Yes. We took Lilly Belle on Pirates of the Caribbean. She loves pirates, loves things that go boom, but did not like "the waterfalls". She we super nervous the whole time, and was extremely happy to disembark, but she's still so proud of herself for going on.

After Pirates, I asked her if she wanted ice cream, and she was more excited than I'd seen her all day. DISNEY TIP: when you're at the parks with your kids, do what they want. Even if it means not riding "that one ride" or seeing "that one princess/parade/show". Your kids' sanity will be your sanity, and their happiness should be yours as well. I know you most likely paid a lot to get there, but take a deep breath, people-watch, and just enjoy the time you're together, without having too much of an adjenda. I know, it's easy for me to say, I'm a local and I'm fortunate to go at least once a year; but I've seen more than my fair share of cranky children and adults to know that families might just need a little more perspective to enjoy themselves.

Since Tara and I had late lunch reservations, it was time to head home with Lilly and drop her off with daddy. She wore big brother's noise canceling headphones at various times throughout the day. And they really helped her feel more comfortable. DISNEYLAND TIP: byol - bring your own lollipops. You'll thank me.

Comedian.

Ah, yes. The true purpose for our adult time - sharing in the joy of the Monte Cristo. Café Orleans. New Orleans Square. Do it.

Garlic Parmesan Fries.

We did a lot of eating. And minimal talking. It was perfect.

We digested over Mickey and the Magical Map at the Fantasyland Theatre. Super cute show. Pocahontas was the jam.

We hadn't been in The Operahouse in such a long time {think 50th Anniversary}.

They have a few really really awesome things in the foyer.

The park bench from Griffith Park where Walt dreamed up the idea of Disneyland, and a carousel horse from there as well. We were completely geeking out. Totally.

Adult time at Disneyland with my big camera deserved a selfie.

Headed to DCA for some really fun grown-up time.

Sorry not sorry, I had to post this. I never beat Tara at Disneyland games. Ever. But that day I did. I WON.

I took this picture for Caleb. As you may know, Caleb's slightly obsessed with California Screamin'. He watches it on YouTube, draws it, dances to the music, creates it with his train set; he can even close his eyes and move his body as if he's on the track. So of course, we had to go on.

I've been on it plenty of times, but not since Caleb's obsession, so I decided to record the first sixty second BLAST OFF and send it to TJ to show the kids.

It pretty much backfired. I had to FaceTime them right after to show them that I was okay. They were scared for me. SWEET KIDS.

The Cove Bar is a new little addition to the park. We ordered two "Fun Wheels" that look like California sunsets.

Oh and lobster nachos. Because, LOBSTER NACHOS.

The sun was setting over Paradise Pier, it was really pretty.

Tara took me on Radiator Springs Racers -my first time- and it was really fun. Really fast, exciting, and totally worth it.

After getting off the racers, we checked our IGs and realized one of our old friends was at DCA too.

We met up, talked shop, and had a few screams together on Tower of Terror {hi Maggs!}.

It was getting late, so we called it a night {after hitting up Lost & Found for a lost debit card...which was FOUND. Faith in humanity RESTORED}.

Can't wait to go again. Maybe some day I'll have an annual pass again. As our friend Maggie so eloquently put, "It costs as much as a gym pass, so just don't go to the gym, and come here instead."

Well said, Maggie. Well said.