MALAPIT DESIGN

From the Firth of Fourth to the Atlantic: An Unfinished Under-Current

2012-12-16T01:41:00.001-08:00

What do you do when you leave someone behind, and come back only to find him waiting? Do you turn around and run again?

I design landscapes, but I can't say I'm a landscape architect. It's not for the core purpose of creating beautiful spaces, not for the sublime; I can't say I design because I feel obligated to my environment- like I hold the power of God in my hands to change the world or it's realities. My ego cannot span so far. I will care to my capacity; but it will move forward without me, and I will sink into the ocean. How does a speck of dirt tell God what to do?

Whatever role I play in the design of landscapes, visualizing them is not satisfying enough; and to those who understand I am grateful. It's like being led by cables into a scenario- so full of promise, not wanting to leave. The micro and macro are all the same, it's easy to get lost, and it removes your wind so you have to chase it. It's unfinished, and it will continue to grow without agency. Therefore I will move with the larger forces of this world to find freedom. I can't feel this way practicing architecture. How can a river flow when it's surrounded by walls? What happens in the scenario of a river in an unchanged state? Is it no longer a river? Is it transformed, and to what chapter or purpose can it be appropriated?

I did leave you behind, and I loved you then. I was hoping you'd be waiting, but how can a fish live with a bird? What does a river call itself when it's encased? I'm not running, I'm just caught in a current.

Love,
Lesley Ann

The Red Violin, and Without Want for Consolation

2012-10-12T22:06:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader,

I know since my last post I've again dropped off the face of the planet. I'm sorry, but you're probably used to that aren't you? Thankfully though I have you to speak to, and I couldn't ask for anyone more patient and close. Since you've last heard, life has led me on yet another road trip if you will- a new job, a new apartment, a new society, a new neighborhood. I find myself keener than ever to excel in my career, and like many I feel like I'm getting there without a clue of what I'm doing; like walking around in the dark. It's unsettling, but welcoming. You're probably used to that too aren't you? You've been there I'm certain, and you know it will never stop. It is what it is and you knew this long before I met you.

These last few days I've been finding myself deep in introspection. Proof of that is, humorously, through the films I've been watching on Netflix during my down-time: The Red Violin, Mary and Max, Trainspotting....One theme they all have in common- "Process". Trial, self-renaissance, absolution, centering. Is this my subconscience trying to tell me to right myself? After all, I have indeed moved to more than half a dozen accomodations since I've returned from Scotland. No stability, just a constant test of will and flexibility. The human brain needs stability doesn't it? But how long can it last before it breaks down, and/or if it survives will it's younger innocence no longer exist? A human needs a place where it can plant itself, strengthen his/her relationships, grow. I feel this is what I need, and it's painful to think it'll never come no matter how much I struggle. That is life though isn't it? A constant struggle- a testing, fine-tuning, until finally there is rest.

The Red Violin kept me awake in bed thinking about the idea of "struggle". I used to play one when I was a child, maybe this is why I was drawn to the movie initially. Surprisingly, it wasn't about a violin as an instrument, but as a person's spirit living on centuries after physical death, manifested in the violin and the person playing it. Have you ever lingered on a note for so long that it triggered a memory or a need? Through every note I heard her voice. I felt like my life was living through her. Glee, lust, falling in love with the devil, confusion, death, trial, hiding, and finally renewal. At the end of the movie the Red Violin had centuries of weathering on it's resin, a broken neck, string replacements, it's colour fading. It's original lustre had disappeared, it's innocence dissolved through a lazarus existence, and it's value neglected. Somehow after being dormant for centuries, someone re-discovered her and protected her. At the end of the movie, it was this process she had to go through before real love and appreciation could be found.

It is for this reason why I shrug at the darkness. Groping for stability is all part of it, I learned. By doing so, we heighten our senses, and accept failure when it comes. I don't like it nearly as much as you think I do. I feel it is human nature to want to work towards pleasure and comfort as opposed to strife. I do wonder though, if we all had the patience to go through life without wanting to find solace in earthly consolation, in what way would that elevate us? I in turn would like to think You already accepted me long before we met. You understand why I continue moving forward so I could be last. If You really do, thank You.

Love,
Lesley Ann

Boston....and then what?

2012-05-29T21:10:00.001-07:00

Dear Reader,

I've been in Boston working for Stoss Landscape Urbanism, and I believe it's been over 2 months since I've last written to you. I know I promised to be around more often and I'm sorry for dropping out. Life swept me under and carried me away into a mental void that I've just recently emerged from. During that phase, every facet of my personal life stood still- from catching up with friends, family, even with myself. The project I worked on- Harvard University (http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2012/04/renewing-a-hub-of-harvard/?utm_source=SilverpopMailing&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Science+Center+Plaza+%281%29&utm_content)- pushed me to my limits, and I think my brain has been re-wired...if not, it's been flipped around and taken out of the water like a beached whale. Now that the work is more or less complete, I'm now sweeping up the loose bits, catching up on sleep, and finding more time to re-think my career. I'm only here on a short-term contract after all, and after Boston I really don't know where I'll end up. Should I go back to California, or should I try my hand at another East Coast firm?

I've thought about the options- one would be to move back to California, maybe stay in San Francisco and try my luck at Fletcher Studio. It would be nice to be close to my family in Los Angeles...and it would be nice to take care of my mom who has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. It would also be nice to be close to my sister who will soon to be out of her marriage; and yes it would be nice to take care of my younger brother who is struggling with a personal crisis. I know I sound quite severe, but I find this year has been full of severity- so much unprecedented mental struggle in my family. I find it my responsibility to support them by being close.

The kicker though, is I feel my career and life is here, on the East Coast. I want to reach my personal goal- to work for a design firm that merges architecture and landscape architecture- so I could flex both of my design backgrounds and reconcile their differences. There are such cutting edge firms here, adept in exploring this on practical and theoretical levels. It's also close to Europe where I've yet to do more traveling and give myself the potential to meet up with friends and networks in the UK/ Continental Europe. I feel my love life is here as well. I can't explain it, it's rather intuitive really; but for some reason I don't think I'll meet the right one close to home. I know it sounds ridiculous, though to be honest when has love and intuition ever been entirely rational? I don't think Southern California has ever suited me well either...I love seasons, cold weather, and the type of "reality" the East Coast has to offer. I'm not a masochist; I don't like running in a New York rat race, and I don't like trudging through miles of snow just to get to work every day. Though, I do know that the East Coast provides the challenges I'm looking for, and if I give myself too much slack, I'll end up wasting the talents I've been given. If I'm struggling for the right reasons, I'll feel stronger, more capable, and above all grateful to be alive.

Looking at both options, I feel completely undecided. Would I be selfish for preferring to live my own life, away from a family that needs my support?....If I chose California, will I be happy to be close to my family, and not look back thinking about the "what ifs"? How do I find a happy medium, and for what cause should I act upon??

I guess that's what I'll do- to pray for a cause and be proactive...I do hope it comes in time. I only have a few days left.

Love,
Lesley Ann

A Wanderer's Random Life: Malapit Residence, and the Inner Urge To Bike to Ithaca

2012-03-01T20:15:00.001-08:00

Dear Reader,

I think it's been almost a week since I've last written to you hasn't it? To bring you up to speed, progress has been somewhat slow in areas that need to go fast, and clearly too fast in areas that could be postponed for a few months more. I'm rather pissed off, but I know I have to be patient and keep pushing on. I believe I do have quite a bit of patience when it comes to getting a project done, or getting through to people. This time, I might have reached my limit. Maybe writing this post will help me.

Malapit Residence Garden- Progress

First and foremost, my parent's garden is not quite finished, but I've got more direction. Concept is there, and I got some of the site issues sorted out- drainage is a pain in the retarded butt though. One of the planting beds is adjacent to our 2-car garage, and to solve flooding problems, my Mom had a drainage channel cut into the concrete driveway edge that meets the garage door. So now whenever it rains, the water drains right into the planting bed where there are Ilex Aquifoliums, Hydrangeas, and Aucuba Japonicas. They're all plants that survive in well-drained, acid soil. You could now figure they're not going to last long with all the flooding that's happening in that bed. Poor things. I don't want to take them out, especially the Ilexes. They've been there since I was a child, and had taken great care of pruning them while I was growing up. You could tell I have a love for them, so now I'm going to do the best to bring them back to good health. The leaves at the lower sections of their stems are almost gone; no birds live in the branches anymore, and berries no longer grow on it. The shrubs kind of have the look of a cat after it's been spayed, with the fur shaved off at their lower regions hahah! Sheesh, poor things.

In any case, I got stuck at verifying some of the other plants that seem to grow randomly in the front and side yards of the house. It's not a big house by the way- a typical 1970s cookie-cutter one-story home. I know I shouldn't be worrying about plant types right now, I'm only in the schematic phase for goodness sake! My parents don't even want me to go to town with the project....but I'm a perfectionist, and I want to put this in my website...and maaaybe get a few gigs from my relatives afterwards. How's that for having an ulterior motive? I'm so transparent, ha!

Moving forward, I've got to submit the schematic package by the end of this week. Get it approved by the Parental Unit, then tweak it, fix it into the budget, then do yet another round of collaborations with the Parental Unit. Sheesh, and I've yet to find a nursery that could meet the budget and has all the plants in stock. Eff......Yea yeah, I know this is normal stuff, give me a break....I know I shouldn't be complaining. After all, my parents DID say "don't overdo it". I guess I could be overwhelming sometimes.........

The hardest part in this whole process, I'm finding, is getting myself to wake up on a regular schedule, get dressed, and force myself to the library to do the work. I'm not a lazy @$$ mind you; I just work better when I have a structured schedule. You do too, and don't lie about it. Not to give myself excuses, but to be honest, I have been distracted with my finances (that's a given). I've been doing a lot of clerical work- posting ads on Craigslist, searching for freelancing gigs, and keeping up to date with Archinect. On the side, I've been building up my home office, by hitting up Freecycle to fetch things like a surge protector, carpet tiles, an external hard drive (300g woot!), and other random stuff that a room/office needs. I feel rather proud of myself for being an anti-cosumerist. Thanks Freecycle. =)

The Inner Urge To Do Something Reckless- Bike to Ithaca!

To top off the random $#it I've been up to, I've been researching on architectural/landscape design competitions, and graphic design competitions. One is due in April, the other is due in the summer, but registration is March 5. I know, I'm mental aren't I? You are too, and again, don't lie. Another reckless thing I've been contemplating is buying a bike and the proper gear to bike up to Ithaca. I seriously was going to do something similar while I was up in Scotland, but I didn't have the time nor proper training to do it....plus, I have really bad luck with bikes. Did I tell you that I've had 3 bikes stolen while I was at USC? All were red by the way. Go figure, next time I'll buy something NOT red, and maybe I'll get lucky.

Back to my bike trip, I was thinking about bringing along a light sleeping bag, tent, and maybe pitch up camp whenever I need to. Once I get to Ithaca, I have a contact there. He's a rather unique person actually- an sculptor from one of the north mid-western states. I met him through Craigslist, as he had posted an advertisement for a room to rent for a night. I needed to head up there to see Cornelle University's agriculture program during 4th of July Weekend some 3 or so years ago. When I first met him, he wasn't bad-looking, but I found out later that he had just gotten out of a divorce with a Portuguese woman (or was she Spanish?). You could imagine he was probably in heat. I don't blame him- I bet life is not easy once you're divorced. Bummer... Anyway, it turned out he didn't have a place to rent, so he instead offered me his room for half the price while he slept on the living room sofa. That was fine with me, as long as he didn't get fresh, and he didn't. Instead, he was one of the nicest guys I've ever met; and I bonded well with his two dogs- a golden retriever, and a rochester terrier. There's more to this story, but I guess the point is it might be nice to see how Sean is doing for old times sake.....maybe the garden outside of his workshop is already fully grown. Peppers and garlic galore!....and maybe his terrier has puppies. =)

Do you think I'm being reckless? I know I should be realistic about my expenses, and believe me, I usually am. Maybe I'm on a high right now- I feel like running or taking Argentine Tango classes again. Something needs to be done, but what?? Maybe it's the impatience I'm having to finally get my parent's project done. Once it's out, there's going to be much reason to celebrate...and hopefully by then my finances will be better sorted out, and I could finally take that trip to Ithaca....oh how beautiful that place is! Before I leave you, here are a few images from my last trip several years ago. Enjoy!

Love,
Lesley Ann

ps: Sorry, still don''t want to be bothered with html. You'll just have to scroll to see my old pics from my last trip to Ithaca. Can't wait to go back. Thank you much, muahh! ♥

Something that's waiting for me when I go

Sheesh, what was Sean's dog's name?? This is going to linger in my head for a while.

4th of July picnic. =)

Epic day to be out biking!

A Frivolous Nutmeg Fix- The Julie and Julia Movie (A Blog-Blast to the Past!)

2012-02-23T18:22:00.000-08:00

Hi! So this is a little something I stumbled upon when I was browsing through the archives of my Myspace weblog- written some 3 years ago when I was a ridiculous newbie in New York celebrating my mid 20s. It was written in the lovely confines of my yellow studio apartment in Boerum Hill, Brooklyn. My mini fridge was my companion, and a hot plate my secret weapon. I lived like a monk (I think), but enjoyed the simple life nonetheless. There was enough chaos trying to get used to the city as it was. I must say I'm a little humored by the random $%it that went on in my head, and quite certainly nothing has changed (ha!). Please forgive the past me, I didn't care about editing or flow back then. Enjoy! Xxx, LA

My Frivolous Nutmeg Fix- The Julie and Julia Movie
Current mood:hungry

Dear Reader,

Not too long ago, I saw the movie Julie and Julia with the girls, and that same night (by sheer coincidence of course) we entertained ourselves with an extremely sensational French dinner. "Julie and Julia" is about the life of Julia Child written in tandum by a chef-fan of hers, Julie (...I forgot her last name). Julie, one frustrated day after work, decides to start a project to cook at least one recipe from Julia Child's book, "Mastering the Art of French Cooking", for a year. That's roughly over 500 recipes for 365 days. That whole year, each day, she writes a blog about her adventures. It puts a strain on her diet, her marriage, her job, and mental stability. She also gets mis-understood by Julia Child herself over a midnight phone call. In the end she learns to bone a duck and is chased by magazine companies, publishers, and movie producers, all inspired by her blog. She realizes after a whole year of cooking, loving/hating her life, and eating, the Julia Child in her mind was the one who inspired her all along.

I don't consider myself a follower, and I've always written or mentally reflected on my cooking. It's one of my many passions. In fact, I think I spend more money on food and have more fun in grocery stores than I do in clothing stores. Why? Am I a normal female? Of course not, but then again, please my dear Reader, define "Normal"! I don't know if I'm good at it. I'm certainly not formally trained....that is, if you consider your mother and television a form of proper training...

This evening, with much respect to the culinary world, I'd like to write about a recipe I saw in the movie which I rendered into my own version. I "rendered (it) into my own version" because I didn't have butter (SHOCKER!!). =) In the movie, almost every recipe of Julia Child had butter. The recipe is Poached Eggs with Hollandaise Sauce over Toast paired with Asparagus.

The Experiment

The first thing I did the morning after watching that hilarious movie “Julie and Julia” was search my mini-fridge for eggs and bread. It was a craving. Two days prior, I had returned from a trip to the Philippines, so my mini had absolutely nothing except for eggs (thank goodness), moldy celery, parmesean cheese, a water filter/pitcher, a box of carrot soup, and no butter.....of all things! I also realized that my freezer tray was not only purged of its usual mountainous collection of frost, but all its contents, and anything perishable, was thrown away by my landlord. I was then reminded I DID have butter, but that along with a serious bunch of fruit and vegetables were tossed.....except for the celery!!

I started my task of making poached eggs with toast and hollandaise sauce.....rendered my own way...with no butter. It seemed that butter was the key ingredient for Hollandaise sauce. On the other hand, I had no desire to put on a pair of jeans, a bra, and flip-flops to the corner market to spend the Boerum Hill price of $7.00 on bread, butter, and asparagus.....by the way, I think asparagus was out of season. I did, however, have a box of carrot soup which contained a small amount of butter; and I did also have a leftover roll of white bread from my flight back from the Philippines!

Here we go! I poached two eggs, which was easy-shmeezy. The salted water with egg whites was saved for a Chinese Velvet Egg Soup which would be made for dinner that evening. While all this was happening, I halved the roll, cut off the rounded end, and popped all three pieces in the toaster oven. I cracked another egg, poured the whites in the eggy-salty broth, and whisked the yolk in a small bowl. In another small bowl, I heated roughly 1/3 cup of the carrot soup and a teaspoon of rice vinegar (yes rice vinegar....that's all I had, sorry).....

*Side Note: I thought to myself as I was doing all this that a sauce was a sauce was a sauce....Salted butter is traditionally used in Hollandaise Sauce to provide moisture, fat, and an oily texture to carry the egg yolk. Vinegar was traditionally added to give the sauce a little zest, extra moisture, and a chemical-thickening agent for the butter and egg. Once the butter and vinegar are heated together under medium-low heat, the cream in the butter curdles and thickens. When the egg yolk (once whisked) is added gradually to the butter mixture under low heat, that also thickens, and PRESTO! You have Hollandaise sauce!

Now (with the "sauce is a sauce" concept), since I had no butter, I heated the carrot soup (which was already thick from the butter, cream, and carrot starch) together with vinegar. Once hot, I gradually stirred in the whisked egg yolk under low heat and removed it from the hot plate. At this point, the toast was done, so I spread out the toast, and placed the poached eggs. Next, I took the toasted round end, sliced it into four strips and saved them for later.

I checked the carrot-hollandaise sauce. It was thick, but tasted like it needed a kick. I added a little sage, thyme, oregano, rosemary, and parmesean cheese.....still it lacked that kick. Finally, took a sniff of the carrots in the bowl and thought of Christmas and nutmeg!! I usually added nutmeg to carrots to bring out the sweet root flavor. I added the spice, taste-checked it, and it was perfect!!

The (still hot) poached eggs were topped with the carrot-nutmeg hollandaise sauce. Two strips of toasted rounds were arranged on top of each for some architecture. Very satisfied, I dashed a little more parmesean and herbal seasoning for aesthetic, and....DONE!!!! Poached Eggs with Hollandaise Sauce (sans the asparagus)!

Taste-Check

I normally eat every meal with some sort of vegetable. (What about the asparagus!?) I gave myself the excuse that I was still trying to get over the stomach flu, which was contracted from my trip to the Philippines....Ex-nay on the fiber-nay! However, I also was not supposed to be eating cream and butter....tisk tisk! To be even more evil, I had that very delicious French dinner the night before (Crimini Mushrooms in a cream sauce, served over a French puff-pastry....oh OH!)....Oh well! =)

Seated at my fold-out table, I sliced a piece and sampled the flavors and textures. The toasted bread crunched and moistened nicely with the warm creamy poached egg. The parmesean cheese was carried through by the egg sauce, then a kick of zesty herb, and finally finished with the carrot and nutmeg! At the end of everything, it was the nutmeg that saved the day! Who knew! It took me fifteen minutes to finish. I was thinking about the various ways I could have made this...perhaps leave out the herbs and just use nutmeg and cloves?.....

After having just two poached eggs and 8 ounces of water, I was full! That was curious....

*Side Note: I recalled a book I had read- "French Women Don't Get Fat" by Miriele Guiliano. I mentioned her in one of my previous blogs. Basically, she emphasizes that portion control is a great factor to keeping slim. Additionally, using quality ingredients and meditating on food helps maximize the impact of the meal. To be frank, it means slowing down, eating less (you'll feel 80% full, but you're actually 100%), and thinking about your food so you'll feel more satisfied. Having a conversation and some wine also helps. ;)

I'm sure you've also heard that it usually takes your stomach 20 minutes to realize it's full. With that in mind, I realized I did just that. I meditated on my food for 15 minutes, drank my water (with my vitamins- a contradiction on French gastronomy- but I won't tell if you don't!...I'll explain this in another blog), and washed my dishes. All together this took 25 minutes and I was not hungry.

In the End

In the end, I could have used better-quality ingredients. I also could have just put on some jeans, a bra, flip-flops, and spent that $7.00 to ensure a balanced meal. Then again, everyone has days like that right? It's not a crime to be lazy. It's also not a crime to prepare whatever is in your mini-fridge right?

I think I now have a frivolous nutmeg fix. My next experiment will include nutmeg in a Bolognese Ragu sauce. I got the inspiration from a book I'm currently reading called "Heat" by Bill Buford. I don't feel afraid of adding cloves and lime either! Read the book. You'll love it! If not, you'll at least feel a craving for authentic Italian food. I did.

To me, cooking means being adventurous- to try everything and anything to create an exciting meal or stick to budget. It means scientific experimentation and human guinea pigs. I suppose many have died from these excursions, but thankfully we have great masters to teach us the ways. In a sense, we're being humanitarians- we work hard to save people's lives! In Julie's case, it was her vision of Julia Child who helped her get past rough times. I hope I don't kill anyone in the future with my culinary experiments. If I had, I guess you wouldn't be able to tell me now would you?

As always, thanks for reading! It surely means a lot to me, and I hope I had entertained or lightened your day in one way or another. I'll write to you later!

Love,
Lesley Ann

New Work New York (Projects in Scope: Life-Drawing, Terreform ONE, Trudy Miller/Layers, Spectacle Theater, and the Malapit Residence Garden)

2012-02-22T19:37:00.000-08:00

Dear Reader,

Last Thursday, as Izzy and I were waiting for the (evil) G Train to come by and truck us away from the Gowanus district in Brooklyn (we had just finished seeing Slow Club, Air Waves, and Chalk + Numbers at the Bell House), she asked me, "So why do you want to stay in New York?". She had asked me this because I'm currently searching for employment, and to be honest I could easily pack my bags and go back to California. I took a long sigh and thought to myself how loaded that question was. The answer was a jumbled mess in my head, but I guess it all boiled down to, "Because I feel like I could grow here, and I need seasons; I feel like I was designed for cold weather, and things feel more real here. I have friends and networks, and I'm not ready to leave just yet.".

Quite certainly, I feel I could get the art and design scene back in California, but to be honest, I'm tired of moving. I need to stay put, especially with all the traveling I've been doing in Europe. Besides, there are some awesome design and research firms here that I'm elated to work with/for. Please don't be confused- I'm not the stereotypical emmigrant who moved to New York to pursue her dreams and become masked by the limelight of admiration on every superficial level possible. No, really, I don't care. I just want to be busy, and happy with what I do; and if love and appreciation comes with the work, then GREAT! I'll be humbled, and encouraged to push further. If not, I'll just shrug (maybe cry a little), and be humbled yet again. As always, I'll be moving forward.

Now, speaking of moving forward, since I have the time, I've been filling my schedule with all sorts of personal and pro-bono projects. I'm doing this because it keeps me focused on something positive, something productive; and who knows, maybe I'll land something next week. I've probably sent out at least a dozen applications to corporate and boutique offices in New York, as well as freelance opportunties in both the US and the UK. I've also signed up with an employment agency, and I've spread the word out to my friends and provided samples of my work, references, and a link to my webpage. I suppose you can say I've done all I could for now, and will continue doing so until the time is right to stop. In a way, I feel at peace knowing that despite all the twists life has given me, doing my best is enough, and I could let go of whatever it is that's holding me back. Now, dear Reader, don't think I'm super-human for thinking this way. I'm not. I tell myself this, and to you, because I'm validating it both in my mind and on the screen. It reminds me to keep going- and in a way you're helping me along.

With all the applications I've got rolling, here are the side projects I'm currently working on, and will be working on in the near future:

1) Malapit Residence Garden
I'll have to be honest and admit that this project is way past due. You see, Mom assigned me this early last year, and I have postponed working on it for so many valid (and unvalid) reasons: I was in graduate school, I was looking for employment and sorting out my student loans, it was the Holidays, I moved out to New York. I have to admit, Mom doesn't deserve to be treated this way, so before April (and before her birthday), I'm aiming to get it designed and built. Mom has even taken 3 weeks out of work to get it all done (which means the whole family will be her laborers hahaha!), so I can't faff around. Now that I've got my job applications sent out, I've freed up enough time to hammer this out in a week. No pressure eh?

2) Malapit Design Website
Seriously, I'm not at all too happy with the title "Malapit Design". It sounds boring! Yet, I can't wrap my head around it right now- got too much stuff to do. Any suggestions dear Readers? The stuff you see on http://malapitdesign.carbonmade.com is really just a site for samples and a quick profile. I had a proper website going, but had to put it on hold when I started and stopped working full-time. Now that there's a bit of time, I've been incrementally improving the new one. I've been thinking about new ways I could boost my portfolio and market myself; though to be completely transparent, since this is something I'm trying to do on my own, I'm finding it difficult to step outside of my thoughts and see myself objectively. I think I'll be needing some help in the future- someone I could brainstorm with.

3) Trudy Miller/ Layers
Website: http://trudymillerlayers.bigcartel.com/
Trudy is a wonderful friend of mine who I did some volunteer work for before I moved to Scotland 2 years ago. She is an architect, a zero-waste clothing designer, and more appropriately a "Solutionista". You could say we share similar ideals when it comes to global consumerism, and quite honestly we're annoyed at how little people know about their responsibilities toward our environment. Granted we are not saints ourselves, and I definitely don't want to sound preachy; but the book she is working on (and I will help her format) will discuss the social experiments she conducted using her zero-waste clothing line, as well as share new ideas about being a "solutionista". I haven't started helping her yet, there are still many side projects to get out of the way. Quite certainly though, this will help both of us compartmentalize our thoughts and values regarding the aforementioned topics.

4) Spectacle Theater - Movie Posters Scoping
(Plus a brief story about Anti-Valentine's Day)
Website: http://spectacletheater.com/
Last Valentine's Day, Jessica, Izzy, and I went to the Spectacle Theater to watch some Anti-Valentine's Day movies. Maybe we were cynics about v-day that evening, or at least I was considering that Valentine's Day was formed to celebrate the lives of several early Christian martyrs, who died a few hundred years after Christ's death....And guess what? Their names happened to be Valentine (or variations of it). To go further into it, I was also crestfallen when I read that the romance associated with the holiday didn't come until circa Geoffrey Chauser's time in the High Middle Ages when courtly love (among members of the royal family and their associations) was all the rage. It then evolved into the exchange of poetry, chocolates, and cards (like we know today) around the 15th century; and became a major industry in Europe and America centuries after. Yes, I did read a book or two discussing the holiday (but not in depth, thank God), and I did fill a few gaps using Wikipedia (geek!). To be honest, I've always been curious about the holiday, and I have much to owe to it- after all, I got 50% off my red bedsheets from Target during their V-Day sale. The main point I'm trying to say is if I'm going to celebrate Valentine's Day, I might as well do it my own way since it's been altered so much already.

Nonetheless, the movies were well-chosen for the Anti-V-Day theme, namingly "We Will Not Grow Old Together" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069027/) . I must have felt annoyed at times at Catherine for staying with Jean, and then did a 180 and felt simply righteous for her when she left him. Goodness knows we've all been in relationships like that before. I felt the film explored every aspect of love- lust, eros, compassion, abuse. It felt raw, and that pretty much summed up what I was interested in seeing that night. Troy, the curator of the Spectacle Theater, was more than accomodating with his mysterious and ginormous bag of the darkest chocolate you could ever sink your teeth into. Scientifically speaking, the darker the chocolate is, the more phenylethylamine (or love chemical) you'll get. And if you add how much caffeine is in dark chocolate, you could understand why it's such an awesome treat to have on Valentine's Day, hint hint. I must say it didn't work for me- I went home that night and slept without even thinking. I must have been tired from all the walking I was doing that day. Quite certainly it helped others though. I observed there was much flirting among friends in other groups that night. =)

Visiting the theater however did make an impression on me, and a week ago when I was having a chat with Izzy about the Spectacle, she suggested I volunteer as a movie poster designer. Taking all of this in, I'm quite looking forward to stretching out my limbs and doing graphic design again. It's been a while to be honest, but there's no hurt in trying....and I love PS and Illustrator. Here's hoping I could make a profit for them if we get to sell any posters. More to come on this one.

5) Terreform ONE - Internship
Website: (http://www.terreform.org/)
Since I don't want my skills and brain to go rusty, I'll be interning for them part-time for the span of 6 months. It will provide a great opportunity to explore new ideas and get the experience and technical skills that are lacking in my portfolio/resume. After all, I've been wanting to work for them for ages....literally. Before I moved to Scotland, I read an article of theirs in Metropolis Magazine about self-sufficient cities and knew almost immediately that this was something I wanted to know more about. Maybe you can say they helped inpsire me to pursue landscape architecture. I was working full-time in Manhattan at the time, so it was quite difficult to get out of my routine. Now that things are different, I'm looking forward to getting my hands soaked in work, with the possibility of becoming a teaching assistant in the summer. Here's to new adventures!

6) Life-Drawing Classes
Website: (http://www.springstudiosoho.com/):
So this is something I've already mentioned in my previous weblogs, and as you can see, I'm still taking classes at Spring Studio whenever I can. It's a nice way to run free from the apartment and catch up with my former co-workers- Izzy, Mariko, Hao-Hsin, and maybe Jessica will join one day. I find life-drawing relaxing, wholesome, and perhaps even spiritual. Yes, I said "spiritual", don't laugh. Imagine drawing someone nude in a closed environment, you're more or less removed from the unemotional, mechanical things in life- computers, subway trains, mobile phones, our televisions. Really, it's just 2 to 20 minutes of intense focus on the subject in front of you. Sometimes that "subject" turns into an "object", and in the end, you're not drawing a breast, or a penis, or an eyeball. You're studying the human body, you're drawing softness, light/dark, forms; you're thinking about the human body and what he/she means to you, and you represent that meaning on paper. If being spiritual means having the desire to learn about ourselves and others in the context of compassion; then sure, why can't it be? That's why I go to class. I go because I'm interested in humanity, and what it really means to be one.

So what REALLY brought me to New York in the first place? Before I went to Scotland for graduate school two years ago, I moved here because of a burnt-out relationship which ended with definite closure, followed by a beautiful and painful short-term whirlwind romance. I guess that time was all about embracing the good and the bad (or what Rollo May would call- embracing the "Human Dilemma"). This time, the second time, I came out to New York for another type of relationship (business-oriented if you will), which ended suddenly but with no regrets. Again, you can say I'm embracing the human dilemma, but you don't need a famous psychologist to tell you that's what life is all about. And what's REALLY keeping me here in New York? Life would be easier if I just went home and lived with my parents until I have a stable job. But to be honest, I haven't left yet, and I'm a firm believer that if Someone upstairs knew going home was the best thing for me, I would already be there. I'm not quite certain where I'll end up, and I'm guessing I'm having these little earthquakes so I'll finally end up with something stable. Tomorrow, I will keep pushing to find a job, and stay productive with my list.

When In Rome is playing,
Lesley Ann

PS: Should any of you Readers like to spread the word that I'm looking for a freelancing gig, please feel welcome to do so. You can find samples of my work here: http://malapitdesign.carbonmade.com. Or, if you would like to Shout Me A Coffee for this post (donate button at the top of this page), I'd much appreciate it. Cheers! XX

A Trip to Space: Nicholas Jaar in New York (Frog Legs and Ambient Electronica); AFI in Glasgow (there were Fainting Spells)

2012-02-06T10:50:00.000-08:00

Event 1: Nicholas Jaar at the MOMA PS1. Long Island City, New York (05, February 2012)

Dear Reader,

I'm happy and proud to have been part of the Nicholas Jaar MOMA PS1 installation in Long Island City, New York (http://pitchfork.com/news/45180-pitchfork-presents-nicolas-jaar-at-moma-ps1-in-new-york-city-february-5/), which happened in the massive geodesic dome of the MOMA courtyard yesterday, Sunday, 06, February. Izzy introduced his music to me one work day while I was writing cover letters through a fervent text to Google him and the event. Being a big fan of hybrid electronic music, it was not too difficult to win me over. The show was to last from 1pm to 6pm, with non-stop turn-table, laptop, wires-all-over-the-place action. Mr. Jaar, 22 years old, was in the middle of the dome on a platform surrounded with swarms of people, and despite all this attention, was kind enough to mix live sound textures (aka Blue-Wave) through the entirety of that afternoon. The 1-2-hour wait in line (or queue, as some of my British friends would say) was pretty much well-worth it, especially if you're really into large crowds of curious hipster/designer/artistic folk, ambient techno awesomeness, modern dancing, and frog legs. Yes, I said frog legs!

A quick note about frog legs- so MOMA PS1 has two courtyards it seems: one with the geodesic dome, and the other with a grill fired up with another long queue, and a food menu of Quail, Frog Legs, and Chorizo. Exotic, eclectic, garlicy goodness. The drink menu, as far as I know (since I didn't bother to have a beverage) consisted of Bloody Marys, and I guess other stuff. Mariko (my former co-worker), and I ordered the Frog Legs and Chorizo Combo. It came in this nifty greasy-ghetto-yummy gingham boat (which you would see in carnivals traditionally packed with fish and chips, or corn dogs). On top of the frog legs and chorizo mess was a warm slice of buttery garlic bread.

As Mariko and I were waiting in the queue to get into the geodesic dome, a father and his toddler child were right in front of us; and of course I was too hungry to care who was around me, so I stuffed my face with frog; and not too long after sucking on a leg, with a dinky foot sticking out of my mouth, the father with his child in his arms turned around and said in awe, "Is that a hopper sticking out of your mouth?!". I looked up and met the eyes of a man half-grinning, half-disgusted, and the eyes of a child in horror and confusion. I managed to say in a muffled tone, "Yeah, but it's pretty good", and continued sucking on the bone. I thought it tasted like really tender chicken wings, and, being incredibly hungry, was not about to spit up what I've eaten just. I might have caused a child to cry (or an angel to fall, to that matter), and I'm so sorry, but it's not every day do I get to eat something so unexpected!

The show itself had some strengths- the marvelous, fluid, ambient electronica (reminiscent of Moby, Massive Attack, Thievery Corporation, the latest of BT, Fuck Buttons, and something I must have heard on a Cafe Del Mar album). Another positive aspect was the well-dressed artsy hipsterish crowd swarming around the dome with their iPhones, DSLRs, cons and/or weathered leather boots, and smartly draped scarves. There was also enough pot swirling around to give me a headache, along with the farts and burps that came with the elbow-to-elbow movement. I'm not saying I liked it, but it added to the memory of the event- the "atmosphere". There's beauty to the ugliness. I love large crowds, getting lost in one, watching their faces, how they move/dress, and their unified purpose of seeing a show, or moving in a specific direction. One primary weakness to the show was the seemingly small projection on the massive ceiling. To be honest, I was expecting MOMA to project the animation/film onto the dome like as if you were visiting an IMax theater. Yes, it was a one-day installation, but I thought MOMA had enough resources to achieve this effect. Nonetheless, being a free ticket and all (with a $5.00 donation), it was worth it. I have much to hand over to Izzy for suggesting this event, and introducing me to a new artist who I'll be following for years to come.

I would honestly try to describe the music further, but you just would have to be there to really "get it". In attempt to give you a hint, all I could do really is to place You-Tube links to the show. So here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsvuhBOCVXY, and here's a link to one of the tracks in his new album "Space is Only Noise", http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyyeLon6dGY&feature=related

Cheers!
LAM

Event 0.3: AFI at the ABC in Glasgow, Scotland UK (April 2010)

Hello Again,

I know I've been obsessing over Davey Havok for the last 10 years or so, but yesterday I was reminded of him and AFI again when Izzy and I were talking about seeing them at the ABC in Glasgow a few years ago. It was because of that, and I really can't help but appreciate Davey- this handsome, 36 year-old vegan who, despite his high status in the mainstream and indie/alternative music industry, still makes a conscious effort to remain humble and diplomatic. Therefore, after all this, I must write it. Shut up, I know.... I know this may be a superficial connection (obviously I don't know him personally) and for sure there's a boat load of others who can surpass him; but whenever I hear his music, read about him, and watch his clips online, it's like drawing in cables, coming home, or feeling the warmth of empathy after being disconnected for being too "unique". Honestly, I can't even begin to fathom how he came about to be so honest and express himself, seemingly unbridled and unmatched. I believe in his case, it's not easy growing up in Oakland, California, a place that's "something else", unlike the romantic visions of the coastal Californian lifestyle- the beach blond girls, the sunlight, Hollywood. It's not like that at all. Coming from Pomona, a sprawled suburb of Los Angeles, and of a similar demographic, I grew up with low-riders, rice-rockets, tatooed bikers, orange groves, over-exposed dusty freeways, and strawberry fields. It doesn't have the cosmopolitan feel like LA. Yes, it's easy to be creative in this type of landscape, but it's not easy to get away from it and become more than you thought you can be. He impresses me for fighting against the masses and becoming his own.

In any case, when I was still living in Edinburgh, Scotland, in April 2010 I saw Davey and AFI perform live in Glasgow at the ABC, show-casing their latest album Crash Love. It was like a mad rush- the crowd, the speakers in my ears causing temporary deafness, the girls crying at my side. It was a bit overwhelming, like having a case of fainting spells, caused by a conglomeration of too many people pushing hard against the hand-rails, moshing, and carbon-dioxide. Was someone smoking indoors? I can't tell. I wasn't crying, thank you, but heart palpatiations must have been heard, and please do not make fun of me for being able to sing to all the lyrics. I'm sure you all can relate, and don't lie.

The show was too short, way too short for my liking; but the band sang all of my favorites, and a few older songs from the 90s (those were difficult to follow, but I like punk too, so I was in the right place). I must have waited nearly 8 years to see AFI live, and gratefully I was able to see them in a small venue at a decent price that. In Los Angeles, it's difficult to get a ticket to one of their shows in small venues at an affordable price- they're usually either sold out or in ridiculously large arenas where can see the band, or rather the speck that resembles them from the nose-bleed section. Let's just say things were lined up perfectly that night.

Here are a few pictures of the event. Forgive the blurry, under-exposed, low-resolution photos. I desperately need to get a DSLR, but that will happen in good time. OH, and here's a clip from YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUSVoc_pARA ENJOY!

Hey You With The Hair!
Lesley Ann

ps: Sorry for the crazy layout. I've got lots of stuff to do and can't be bothered with html at the moment. In due time I'll fix the text and pictures. Thanks! ♥

A Quickie on Californian Minimalism

2012-02-03T21:21:00.000-08:00

Dear Reader,

My new roomate, Hiroki, a liaison at the Lehmann Maupin Gallery in Chelsea, invited me to the opening of Mary Corse' gallery last Thursday night. She's a minimalist artist from California, with a studio in Los Angeles, and has been fine-tuning her technique for roughly 50 years. Being from California, I could appreciate why the color white (which is dominant in her work) is so key to the culture- white for the light, breezy, sunny weather; the coastal scene, white chaise lounges, Californian modernism, clean white hotel linen sheets in Malibu, white dresses can be worn in any season. I feel, generally, it's quite a coastal thing, and I do miss Calfornia for being that way.

One of her pieces "Untitled" (White Inner Band, Beveled), was made in 2008 using glass microspheres on acrylic on canvas (size, 96x144 inches). It is so simple that upon viewing it from far away, one could laugh that this piece of "art" is worth .5 million dollars; yet upon viewing it at different angles, at different lighting, and different mood, one can uncover subtle layers of information about the high level of craft(wo)manship and complexity of thought that was placed into it. If I was a buyer, it would be for this "design", and uniqueness that would move me enough to purchase the piece. To be honest, I really would, if I had the money that is. I'm a big fan of minimalism, and I'm very much in love with similar artists like the British photographer, Michael Kenna, and the architect Kazuyo Sejima. They both use white, subtle changes of tint/value, and high contrast with dark colors to reveal truths, or mere glimses of them to hold the eye and interest of, say, a fellow artist or creative individual.

In Michael Kenna's work in Hokkaido, in some instances he photographed the rural landscape in a white snow storm, exposing the lense long enough to bring in just a tiny hint of shadow to reveal the silhouette of a tree or horizon line as it's masked by the blizzard. The result, when developed and printed, is a seemingly white sheet of paper, with the silhouette of the landscape in a creamy eggshell color. This is how he represents a landscape- using the idea of "White" to communicate every sense of the space. In Kazuyo Sejima's work, particularly the Gifu Housing Project, I'm in love with the (almost) Le Corbusier way of tea-room modular stacking; it lends an efficient, rational way of seeing architecture, but just about every unit is entirely different. Some of these units have double heights, single, and are not too narrow- allowing direct and ambient light to shine through every facade. In elevation, she uses light/white wire mesh and grating to create a series of sliding panels (like dynamic layers). In a distance, it's like the white facade (especially the north) has a ghostly, ethereal transparency.

Back to Mary Corse, that night, after spending nearly an hour examining her work, there seemed to be this unusual, ethereal (yet again), temporal dynamic quality to them. I can't quite put a name to her work, other than the experience of the pieces change depending on viewing angle, lighting, and mood of the day. Like Kenna and Sejima's work, they seem to reveal more and more after you look at them for some length of time; yet it would appear like they made little to no effort in making them. It's very easy for me to become obsessed with work like Corse's, Kenna's and Sejimas, and probably because to achieve a complex solution in a simple, efficient way is something I strive for every day. Mies' adage "Less is More", strikes home in this case. It makes me wonder if I'll ever achieve this state of mind and method in design. I will continue to keep them in a Favorites List. In the meantime, here's a link to Corse's work at the Lehmann Maupin Gallery: http://www.lehmannmaupin.com/#/artists/mary-corse/

Less is More,
Lesley Ann

All Things in Between the Rocks and Boulders

2012-02-03T18:21:00.000-08:00

Dear Reader,

I just came back from a burger and fries dinner from the corner diner in Clinton Hill- a celebratory dinner to end an eventful day. Fridays usually are in my case. This evening, however, was made special, not for the series of events which took place this morning and mid-afternoon, but because I became friends with two very adventurous little girls who remind me of my sister's daughters, the owner of the restaurant, and the audience which surrounded me this evening.

It started with the need to sit at the bar and inadvertenly become, I guess, "that-mysterious-girl-sitting-all-by-herself", in a diner called Mega Bite (or Megabyte?). To be honest, I was not sitting there for any sort of attention, but because I was nearly starving to death, and I learned from the last time I sat a classical diner that people who sit at the bar get served first. Think about it, cops sit at diner bars for their meals because they simply need to move on quickly, right? Case-in-point? Sit at the bar = get served first.

In any case, I ordered the (megabyte) cheeseburger and fries, and as I was waiting for my meal a guy standing to my left ordered a vanilla shake to go. He then asked if he could have the dregs of the shake in the mixing tin next to the blender. The owner of the restaurant (George was it?), poured the remnants into a shot glass and slid it to the guy who then tipped it over in one swoop. He laughed about the idea of taking a "shake shot", and continued to chuckle on his way out. I asked George, "Dude, did you spike that?". George, confused, asked "What does 'spike' mean?".

This simple, honest, yet humorous question jump-started a stream of other queries- "Do you live close by?", "Are you from New York?", "Where do you work?", etc.- and I was in a chatty mood so of course I carried the conversation until the list of off-the-mind topics ran out and ended when George started taking telephone orders. Busy guy I suppose. Next, these two little girls who had spent the last 15 minutes or so swiveling around in the bar stools next to me, asked what I was doing with the pen and moleskin planner in front of me. I was sketching out a plan of my Mom's garden which I was designing for a March submission. This design is past due, and Mom had given me a hard deadline for the first week of March; by then she will have accumulated the resources, time, and labor for the project. Basically, this entails $500.00 for budget, a few weekends in March to April, and my brother (and his fiance), sister (and her family), and Dad to get it built (haha!). It's going to be a project all right- my first "real" freelance landscape project, pro-bono.

The two little girls watched as I started drawing grass, shrubs, and a garage. One girl (the one in a purple fleece sweater) said, "Hey I know how to draw grass, here this is how you draw it!". She borrowed my pen and started scribbling zig-zags in the space allotted for grass. I smiled as I thought "Clever girl, way to draw in between the lines!". Her and her cousin loved to draw I found, and I tore several sheets out of my planner and let them share it. Over the course of, I want to say 20 minutes, they had drawn flowers, grasses, roots, a backwards Super Man 'S', and pictures of themselves. As I was finishing my coffee, the girl in the purple sweater looked at me with a questioning face, and with an insecure tone said, "Are you going to steal us??".

"Steal, you?" I said with wide eyes. I had no idea what they were talking about. I paused for a minute, and then it hit me.
"What? I'm confused, I don't steal people. I don't think I really know how.". A lady who had been sitting to my right (the girls had moved to my left by then) laughed out loud; she was probably humored by the idea of little old me "Stealing" someone. To be honest, I was not capable of stealing people. I'm too little. In fact, I should be scared of being stolen myself.

The little girl seemed relieved, and started drawing another picture. She then said, "Hey don't look!". Her and her cousin started giggling as they turned away and drew a face with long hair, then took a huge purple marker and said to each other "Yeah, that's what I'm talking about, draw her dress, that's beautiful.", "Oh! Don't forget her glasses.", and "There's a dot on her chin!". They kept looking back, making sure I wasn't watching. The girl with the purple sweater even asked me to close my eyes, and when I finally opened them she said, "Taa Daaah! We drew you a picture!". They held it up for all to see. It was ME! With a long beautiful purple dress, with rectangular glasses, and of course the mole on my chin. This was a warming thing to see, and George, the lady nearby, and the waittress behind the bar smiled at these two charming little girls and the gift they had given.

I told them how much I appreciated my portrait; and after paying my check with a gracious tip to George, the little girls gave me a hug, a high-five, and pranced away. They started dancing the Tango down the center aisle of the Mega Bite Diner, happy that they made a new friend. I said "Thank you, and nice to meet you" to the parents of the little girls, to George, the waitress, and the lady sitting at the bar. After passing the Tango-dancing girls in the center aisle, I stepped outside into the cold air with the drawing in my hand, grinned happily, and tucked it into my bag. This evening, I walked home with a gait lighter than the one I had before entering the Mega Bite Diner.

Perhaps the moral of the story is to genuinely be kind to people, or maybe it's to just simply enjoy the little moments that could change the way you see your life. I, for one, am extremely grateful for the chance to reflect on tonight. Sure, I do still worry about things like money, my career, being a better person, etc.; but I think tonight I'm not going to think about all the rocks and boulders which frame my path, but rather the finer grains of sand and the wild flowers which remain in between.

Love,
Lesley Ann

A New Day, and Nude Drawings

2012-02-01T07:01:00.000-08:00

Dear Reader,

I woke up this morning thinking to myself that it's about time I grow up. This all sprang to my head last night actually, as I was writing cover letters to new job ventures. I started writing about the miscellaneous jobs I've taken up- 2.5 months at CHORA, 2.5 months at GROSS. MAX., 2 years at Sawyer Berson, 3 weeks at Balmori Associates. I probably should also mention the number of short-term internships at the various architecture firms, random clerical jobs, freelancing gigs, and volunteer work I've had in the past. None of them were long-lasting. This is nonsense isn't it? Perhaps this is all because of the uncertainties I've been facing- does this job offer what I'm looking for? Is this the profession I've really always wanted? Are the circumstances right for me to stay for a long time? I know, I'm young, and foolish, and indecisive to a degree....I don't want to blame myself for being the middle child- one who carefully considers both sides before coming to a conclusion. In my own defense however, I heard being one isn't so bad. I mean, we're pretty good negotiators heheh!

Back on track, I'm honestly fed up with the whole "Starving artist" act. It sounds romantic in the beginning, but I'm facing up to the facts now- I'm not getting younger (bleh, Peter Pan syndrome), and I have a heap of student loans to pay back. I guess that said, it's about time to work a corporate job again, or something like it. Yes, again. I worked at Westfield Corporation back in 2004, and it wasn't the worst experience, I've had, but it certainly didn't fit me well at the time. Sure, I made friends, became known for my closet Photoshop skills, and even made friends with the company's artists- wondering if I could learn their tricks of the trade. In retrospect, it was nice to have the stability, with the possibility of climbing that corporate ladder; but I honestly did not like being treated like a number. I really did feel that way; regardless of being there for 3 months or not. There were 300 people in the firm, and I was a guppie....

To end all this madness, I guess I should bite the bullet, and follow my brain. No more jumping around, and stay grounded. I have to start somewhere, so I'd might as well start from the bottom; but I need to be sure it's a good fit, one which will allow me to grow. Here we go corporate ladder, treat me well, and I'll do the same for you. Of course I'll try other smaller boutique firms, the ones that are hiring, that is. I suppose it doesn't hurt to get my name out there again any way. It's like fishing. My focus, I've decided in any case, will remain in a corporate office (fingers crossed this is a good idea).

.....................................................................................

Oh, and on a slightly different note, here are my (not so great) pieces I did at the Life Drawing class I took last time. Please no judging, and no giggling at the nude model. She worked hard that night, sitting the same pose for 4 hours. No, she didn't sit in this position for 4 hours straight, but don't you think it's a pain in the butt to even sit in the same position for even 10 minutes? Think about it, can you honestly meditate for 10 minutes? No? Cool, thanks, now do me a favor and be a bit more mature upon looking at these drawings....oh and thanks for being a good sport. =)

Cheers! xxx,
Lesley Ann

Fighting Our Daily Battles with a Smile

2012-01-28T21:19:00.000-08:00

Dear Reader,

I think the old adage, "We know who we really are when we are pushed to the precipice of our wits." is quite true. When it comes to the final test, are we brave? What are our values? How far are we willing to fight until we fall? And finally, how much are we willing to sacrifice ourselves, our dignity, for the sake of what's right? This evening, I watched the movie "Man on a Ledge". It's about a man who was framed as a thief and was sent to prison. Upon escaping, he put his life and family on the line by using extreme measures to prove his innocence. The plot compelled me to reflect on how much my parents have sacrificed for my siblings and I. It caused me to reflect that no matter how much life could force me down, or twist around my inner peace, there is no way I could match the people who brought me into this world.

My family and I moved to the States in 1983, about half a year after I was born. Mom and Dad started their lives here on only $3000.00 and my Mom's nursing job. Dad didn't have a job, and while Mom was at work, he was busy searching for employment and raising my sister and I by himself (before John was born). To be clear, men in the Philippines are not accustomed to raise children. They are the bread-winners. Dad, to be precise, was raised as if he was the only child. Was he spoiled? Maybe, to a certain degree, but quite certainly he was not at all used to raising us kids, being alone in a foreign country, AND without a job. Just imagine living in a lonely apartment with only a mattress to sleep on. There was no television, no friends in the neighborhood, a tight budget, and a limited understanding of the English language. Dad told me he was pushed to the edge of his sanity, and yes he really did break down into tears and wished to return to the Philippines. Yet, after all this, he survived.

I guess this would be a typical American immigration story, but my point is that I have absolutely no reason to abhor hardship, despite how much life could push me around like a chess piece. Somehow, I play a role (be it major or minor), and at some point the purpose of my quirky life will be revealed. In fact, because my parents struggled and survived, they became closer. They had an inner sense of duty, and personal satisfaction from mutually achieving their goals. This was the real love they wanted- a compassionate love for each other, and love for a sense of doing what's right- to raise us kids and make life "better" in the States. Believe me too, that after my recent trip to the Philippines, although the country is beautiful, economically it's so much harder to raise a family there. That said, I have nothing but respect for my parents, and in no way can I match them. I suppose I'm just too young to know, but thankfully old enough to appreciate it. This doesn't make me a noble creature though. I'm still afraid of making sacrifices, and I don't always remember what they've done for me; but I like to hope some One up there can see that my heart seeks to be.

So here we are, back to square one. To be honest, I was not planning on watching Man on a Ledge this evening, but rather Girl with a Dragon Tattoo. However that movie just so happened to be sold out, and the only show Jess and I could grab was Man on a Ledge. How interesting that it inspired me to write this piece, hoping this reflection will bring some light on the struggles I've been having recently. The "light", I wish to say, is that it's always been there, and I must remember to be humble enough follow it.

With a Smile,
Lesley Ann

Drawing the Nude!

2012-01-21T21:24:00.000-08:00

Dear Reader,

I am well exhausted! Today I went to a life drawing class with two of my co-workers, and what I thought was simply a 1-hour class turned out to be almost 4.5 hours! Though I must say that the quality of the work produced in studio did not disappoint me. There was so much talent in the room. More so, I'm really curious as to how and why there were more men than women in this class? I think the girls and I were the only females other than the model in the room. Hmm.... Nonetheless, the 4.5 hours was non-stop fun- a good way to step out of your every day routine (and to some extent your inhibitions) and draw some naked people. Proof of me letting go is on my finger tips, stained with charcoal and ink from the mad rubbing and scribbling. Next time, I'm bringing in paint and a proper toolbox of supplies. So here's the link to you, whoever you are:

http://www.springstudiosoho.com/

And no fear, I'll post the stuff I did in class. I just don't have a camera or a scanner on me at the moment. I guess the stuff I produced was ok, but I'll leave that for you to decide. =)

Love,
Lesley Ann

Listen To Your Heart

2012-01-14T20:50:00.000-08:00

Dear Reader,

I think it's been approximately a week an a half since I've arrived back in New York from Los Angeles. Jet lag is over, and so is my first week at my new job. It's been beautiful so far, and I suppose at the moment I feel shocked that it's actually happening; yet I also feel unsafe about the future and I must be prepared for anything the new year will bring. With the new elections, and the turning of the tides (politically, socially, ecologically) I'm thinking this year is going to be chock-full of beginnings for all of us....maybe it's also going to be a very watery year. So to really get to the crux of things, I've been thinking about my career, future, love life, and how these three are interconnected....I suppose that's a common theme among my entries, but this time it's been at the top of my mind full speed, and geography plays a big role. Every day New York reminds me of someone I once dated; and I know this sounds like a cliche love story- girl meets boy in New York, some how they split up, and somehow they find their way back together, or stay separated forever. This is where my tendency to project comes in. I don't want to go back, and I should have erased his number. But New York is quite a small city with an enormous population, and there's always a chance of running into him. If/when this happens, what should I do?

In the past I've had my extremes with love, hardly any grays. It's too hot and dangerous, and you must get out of it to save your life. It's too cold, too casual, and you only see each other once a month so why even bother? These all sound terrible, I know, so to be honest while I was away in Europe, I decided to drop out of the scene entirely; giving the excuse that the distance from my homeland, and the uncertainty of my future (whether or not I should stay in the UK, or the US indefinitely) was the reason why I fought against dating. Physically it was torture, believe me. But in the end, it would only end up in heartbreak:

I'm sorry, I'm only here for a few months more, but our time together was swell. What? You love me? I'm sorry but I don't feel the same. I was just using you to feel good about myself.

But I'm not a heart-breaking, selfish woman. So that's what I did, I saved hearts, dropped out, and L-O-V-E-D my independence! Sadly, now that my travels are over, and the said "uncertainties", and therefore "excuses" are exhausted, I'm faced yet again with this unsettling thing called "love". I feel pressured into finding it, and really I don't like it. Most of my high school and college classmates are either engaged, or married. Sometimes I even scoff at them, afraid of the thought of losing my independence. I know this is not always true, if you find the right one, that is. Nonetheless, I refuse to live my life like a race to find love. I know I don't have to, but I'm feeling the pressure. My Dad, being the type of man who is tough on the outside, but weepy on the inside, encourages me to always "Listen to my heart", and then this past Christmas holiday he tried to hook me up with his "friend"- his youthful tennis partner at the club- by calling him on the phone to meet me....literally. I, like some flightless bird, ran out the door (also quite literally), giving the excuse that I needed to run my 3 miles for that day. Maybe he thought my heart would fall for his friend. Mom on the other hand is the rational one, "The reason why God put your head over your heart is because He wants you to use it first."; and then every once in a while, I get clinical advice from her (she's a nurse) that women slowly become infertile as they move into their 30s.

So what's the rational thing to do? I honestly don't know. Do I want love? Sure, but I don't believe I should go against nature finding it. Then again, if/when I serendipidously meet that person who changed my life here in New York, I wouldn't know what to do. How will my career and emotions fit into the decision? I must be prepared, but how? I'm afraid that this is something beyond me. There's no place to hide, no country to run to, no more excuses.

The conclusion I have reached, though could potentially change should I be confronted with the aforementioned issue, is to rationally stop rationalizing. Screw this love-seeking nonsense and fear of uncertainty. I guess if it happens, it happens, and though New York is pregnant with chances of meeting familiar faces, it's not the UK, and I'm in a geographically safe circumstance to try. After all I've been living a rational life for the last, say 4 years? Maybe it's time to let go a little. I'm frightened, but I trust things will be alright.

Listen to your heart,
Lesley Ann

"Unique LA" Day!: A day to celebrate the very idea of "Quirk"

2011-12-07T13:03:00.000-08:00

UNIQUE L.A. DAY!

Location: Downtown Los Angeles, California, USA

Time: Sunday, 4th of December, 2011. All day, but pretty much between 2pm and 6pm in Downtown LA

Players: Anna Knaus, older sister and partner in Modern Luxe Events[http://modernluxeevents.blogspot.com/], John Malapit [younger brother], Mary Vu [John's fiance], Lesley Ann Malapit [yeah, that's me].

Dear Reader,

Last Sunday I guess we informally and unknowingly deemed it as "Unique LA Day", as we spent the majority of it trekking through Downtown Los Angeles, Santa Monica, and LA County being quirky for all that it's worth. This pretty much included finding all that is new, innovative, unusual, and inspiring which can be incorporated into our daily lives and stored in our creative visual vocabularies. You see, we're all creative folk and we're visual pack-rats.

It started off in Santa Monica in hopes of finding the Farmer's Market, but unfortunately we were a day late (I thought it was on a Sunday, but rather it was on a Saturday...sorry! The website said differently. Oh well =) ). After a satisfying vegan lunch at Interim Cafe [http://www.yelp.com/biz/interim-cafe-santa-monica], we jet out to Unique LA in the Fashion/Jewelry District of Downtown Los Angeles.

Unique LA [http://uniquela.com/] is like a crafts fair on steroids, and perhaps multiple doses of the NZT Clear Pill (ref to Limitless the movie, booyah!). It was loaded with all sorts of quirky, fun, and artisan/ home made goodies, all of which for some awesome cosmic reason made sense. Some of the brilliant minds which struck home were:

Se_arch+resQ [http://www.searchresq.com/] with their fun handcrafted, laser-cut home accessories and furniture with a conscience. I suppose as an architectural designer, laser-cut wood and recycled materials gets my mind spinning into a creative frenzy. It brings back memories in the wood shop trying to laser cut pieces of my design projects, and raster images onto the recycled card stock of my portfolio. The smell brings me back too. Love love love lasers.

Love Nail Tree [http://www.lovenailtree.com] and their compassion towards the forgotten stories of today's underdogs, as noted in their website:

"LOVE NAIL TREE IS A COMPANY MOTIVATED AND FUELED BY A DESIRE TO PROVOKE CONVERSATION ABOUT TOPICS NEGLECTED AND OFTEN IGNORED BY OUR CULTURE. WE BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF STORY AND THINK THERE ARE MANY THAT NEED TO BE TOLD. WHETHER IT BE THE TRAFFICKING OF HELPLESS CHILDREN, THE DEVASTATION OF ADDICTION, OR THE HIGH RATE OF DIVORCE IN AMERICA. OUR HOPE IS THAT THE STORIES WE TELL WOULD MOVE PEOPLE TO ACTION AND INSPIRE A DEEP CHANGE WITHIN THEM".

I would say "yes, I'm an underdog", but when I hear stories about domestic violence and divorce, I can't help but think that maybe humanity has to turn awry before turning right. I'm thinking Love Nail Tree sees this pattern and is taking a step up to vocalize it. Let's swing back and turn it right. Thank you.

Oh! SNAP Studios [http://ohsnapstudios.com/], with their oh-so-quirky photo booths. The concept? It's simple, be "Unique"! Just be yourself. The very theme of the day.

The four of us found ourselves behaving like children in the frame, which was quite the idea! John was Mickey Mouse in a picture frame threatening to strike my sister with a ukelele as she aimed a rifle at my clone Lesley Ann the Aviator's Crow minion (and his friend Owl). You see?? Even Mickey Mouse knows it's not right to kill animals. While all of this is happening, Mary the Viking Queen snuggled up with a blanket by the fireplace, daydreaming of the real Mickey.

Yes, much grinning was had. =)

Other types of uniqueness happened thereafter, such as the crafting of our awesome DIY bow pins.
Left: Bow pins made by someone else, but still looks cool.

I decided I wanted to be different and make an ugly monster fabric doll, but due to much distraction and mismanagement of time, I didn't finish it....SO, I, along with my brother, decided to be accessory models for the pieces Mary and Ate Anya made.

Left: Me and my sisters cute stripey pink [ok, ok, it's SALMON!] bow pin.

Right:

Mary's plaid and ultimate neon yellow bow, worn by her fiance, and my brother, John

As we finished the last 2 hours at the Unique LA convention, we spotted a few jewels and interesting concepts such as wooden men's ties, button collars (not collar buttons), and a crowd that wanted to be there to speak out, to live, eat and be part of the scene.

To me, we were there to scream:

"No, we refuse to NOT have fun!" and....

"Yes, we decided to get off our @$$es to burn some calories because there's some cool stuff to see in the REAL world too; and besides, it would make us feel less guilty for eating these yummy mini-cupcakes! Om nom nom!"

The "Food Court"

"Lesley, did you see that? That person just pooped on the ground!"

Mary, who found you were with mini-cupcake goggles.

After four hours of snapping away at pictures and gorging on free samples of artisan food and visual candy for the idea boxes in our minds, we decided to have dinner at Veggie Grill [http://veggiegrill.com/] at the Grove. It was delicious, deeelish! I'm sorry I don't have any detailed food photos, so we'll have to skip to the next shop we went to which was the World Market. It was our way of burning off some of the food we ate while being, yes you can guess, a motley crew taking illegal pictures of merchandise. I have no guilt, and I'm seriously contemplating buying the "No Worries" girl, which somehow found her way out of a dastardly evil piece of porcelain! She will be our mascot for future urban treks.

Fiiinally we ended the night at AU79 Teahouse in Arcadia [http://www.au79teahouse.com/] to satisfy our need for some bubble tea and some crisp California winter air.

My brother gave his coat to Mary like how good boyfriends should be [yes, my sister and I trained him well], so to reward him for his good conduct, we gave him our scarves....aaand to top off the night he turned himself into a pink ninja. He blended perfectly into the night. Well done John! =)

So there you go. Are we mad for demonstrating how we like to spend our time?? Yes, we certainly are!! We refuse to let go of beautiful moments like spending it with family, or at least I refuse to. How mad is that? "It's not mad, then.", you say? Well, then what are we?

"Unique!".....how many times can I say it?

Yes, THANK YOU! We are, and we celebrate this. We, like every family, appreciate our own ways of having fun and enjoying life: being creative, reflecting on it, and letting it add richness to our lives and the work we do. Thank you if you agree, and thank you Unique LA for bringing this blog to the surface.

Although some of the items shown today may not be new or innovative to some, I do believe it's the courage and energy spent to just get it out there that makes one stand out. Maybe in the end it's not a matter of being the most creative. Quite possibly something like, say a bow tie pin, has already been done before; but maybe it's more important to bring those ideas to the table, because like members in any family, we are charmed by our own heterogeneity, and our tastes cannot be duplicated.

Have a Unique Day,
Lesley Ann Malapit

Modern Luxe Events Interview and Photoshoot

2011-12-06T22:36:00.000-08:00

Dear Reader,

Last week I did a wee photoshoot at my sister and her business partner's shop, Modern Luxe Events [http://modernluxeevents.blogspot.com/], and today I finally finished editing the photos, YAY! Please no judging, I'm an amateur photographer (if I am even labeled a photographer hahah!). The following images are shown to document the event. In future blogs, I'll be posting "Before and After" photos to show you a hint of my shooting and editing method. To be honest it's more of a hobby than something I see as a full-time profession. Nonetheless, it was loads of fun and would absolutely love to do it again.

To describe the shoot, quite simply it was a shoot of an interview she had with GeoBeats, who contacted her a while back to do a video interview. I recieved a text from my sister, Anna (Ate Anya), the night before to drop by the next morning to document the event, and of course I said "Yes"! Memories of shoots I had with my other photography friends flooded my mind: what they would do to mentally prepare themselves, what method to take to shoot the event, how they would pick the right angles and lighting to avoid spending hours editing photos. I guess there was really no sure way of mentally preparing for a shoot. Perhaps experience and learning from mistakes was one of the better ways of being "Prepared". It turned out I ended up having to edit the photos a lot anyway, but I'm glad I had the opportunity to try; and like I said before, I'm looking forward to any future projects I take on. Enjoy the show!

Love and Treats,
Lesley Ann

Finding a Voice, "And So The Tower Falls..."

2011-11-20T22:14:00.000-08:00

Dear Reader,

I would first like to say "Thank You" for the events of this past weekend which have led me to reflect on the life which I had been given. Certainly this may sound cliche, but to be honest I'm not writing to be original, nor to please the cynical. It doesn't come naturally to me either, and sometimes I strain myself to write down whatever it is I need to say; if only to frame the thoughts which would otherwise cause me headaches and more social awkwardness. You understand right? So here I am, writing a letter saying "Thank You" for my voice. As insignificant, humble, erratic, and human as it is, it exists because of You.

"What happened this weekend which inspired her to write this?". A birdie (my sister) texted me a picture of a piece of scratch paper on which were bullet points of blog topics. Some words stood out like, "Scotland, Architecture, Traveling, Landscape, Party....". One peculiar thing hit home: "Must fit writing voice". I have a voice? Sure, I suppose it's important to have one, but I haven't developed an awareness until now. How does one speak without being judged as some self-absorbed, media and money-driven, power maniac? On the other hand, how does one speak without being seen as an underdog- reaching out to the world, shouting personal truths, and sharing his/her life as proof of existence? I care to be neither, and I'm certain there are other non-labeled voices out there. After all this, I almost wanted to pacify myself- that no matter what I said, none of it mattered and no one wanted to hear it. The human side of me said otherwise. To find a balance- first to be thankful I have one, and the other to say that if I do have a style, let others decide what it is for themselves (at least for now until I figure it out).

I suppose what really tipped me over was being able to surf on John's couch in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. The heart of, what some would call, the "Hipster Zip Code", where freedom of expression is (more or less) a way of life. How earnestly the locals wanted to express themselves was made clear in the murals layered on warehouses, rusty corrugated fences, and the army of white Apple laptops crunching binary at the Swallow Cafe. I then watched Breaking Dawn this evening, and felt the tears welling up. The book of the movie was written by a woman who put her very life and personal beliefs into it. She risked all of these things, and for what? So she could be heard, and to sustain her way of life with a constant flow of zesty paychecks? Quite possibly so. In result she positively and negatively inspired her audiences and critics. No matter how many ways we could argue for or against this, maybe we're forgetting that this is part of what we call our own "Culture".

"Culture: The arts and other manifestations of human intellectual achievement regarded collectively". Yeah, I Googled it.

Is "Culture" then what encourages us to find our voices? To feel Life again, to love, to validate that we're not crazy, to salve our headaches and social awkwardness by a simple act of creative expression? Is it to find confidence, and place ourselves in history? Raoul Bunschoten, an architect, cybernetician, author, and theorist who used to teach at the Architectural Association in London once said to me,

"When we (him and his family) go to Venice (for the Biennale), we're going to look at 'Culture'. We're going to attend an opera, see some cathedrals; and for some reason my son doesn't seem so excited about this." -Raoul Bunschoten

He was paying homage to the years of pain, dirty politics, love, and history that unfolded as Venice evolved it's culture. The city, I suppose in a way, was like a "Blog", if you could see it as a space or a platform for creative expression. In this way, he understood exactly what it meant to appreciate You for allowing him to exist, witness this "Venetian Blog", and prolong humanity's cultural cycle as an architect. It then makes me wonder: if none of us could communicate our thoughts; if these said cathedrals were never built, how quickly would we die from Your neglect dear Reader?

Before I finish this post, I've pasted an old Myspace entry dated August 17, 2007. I guess my voice already existed because at the time, I was struggling to stay alive. Life happened, and I bottled everything up until I found Myspace, an outlet, a tool for cultural expression made by You. If we all rely on each other to survive, please remember dear Reader, that I thank you for giving me my voice and allowing me to be here.

For the love of Life, Architecture, Arts, and Landscapes,
Lesley Ann

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And So The Tower Falls...

Imagine....

You've been building a tower for seven years out of stone and mortar. Each stone you place, you secure it with caution, sensitivity, and careful planning. You work on it on the hour, every hour, and every day either through your thoughts or labor. It becomes the tower of your dreams.

One day, you fall in love with this tower. You become best friends, kindred spirits. Every morning when the sun rises, it shines its beautiful stones on you, and warms your face. You no longer feel cold in its presence. It loves you back. It lets you sit on its stairs as you read books to it. You trace your fingers on each stone and feel its coarse texture, and you are thankful for its strength. Through its echos it laughs with you when you're happy.

You bring your family to see the wonderful relationship you have together. It is a pillar of strength. Each accomplishment is celebrated. You know each other's secrets and desires and you can read each other like a book.

Six years and 9 months have passed. On the 9th month, the tower feels the urge to become a castle. It wants to become a castle so it could take better care of you, shelter you, and raise a family in a proper home. It wants to grow up. You trust the tower's decision, and he contacts another architect in a far away land who specializes in castles. In order to be properly built, he must be moved to another location where there is a stronger foundation. You are sad, but you know it's for the best. The tower reassures you that nothing will happen, that in one year, the two of you will be reunited. You trust him.

The two of you share a final farewell, a hug and a kiss....

Two months pass....

The tower falls in love with that other architect, but doesn't tell her that he has someone special back at home. The architect decides that their relationship has potential, so she decides to date him, and remove the stones you have carefully placed, and replace them with new ones. In a month, he looks different, behaves differently, thinks differently. His silhouette has changed. He wants other architects to touch him, to remove his stones and place new ones in. He wants to be different, to be wild. He never thought independence was so sweet, but guilt lingered in his halls.

Close to your seven-year anniversary, you decide it would be nice to pay your tower a visit, and perhaps find a home closeby so you can see each other more often. The tower tells you on the phone several times not to come by, that he's busy and doesn't want to be bothered. You decide to come anyway, because you also want to learn how to build castles.

When you get there, you see your tower. He's different, he's emotionally unresponsive to your love. He has different stones in him. He's crumbling, but he doesn't care. He doesn't let you sit on his stairs and read books. He doesn't even shine in the morning for you. He's stoic, and you get suspicious. The next day, he tells you that he's been seeing other people. He wants to be different. He says he doesn't need you anymore. He says that since you've been gone, he's found out that he can survive on his own, that he's better. He wants to be independent......but he still loves you.......and he doesn't want to break your heart......

He says he still wants to become a castle............

What do you do?

Let's just pretend that nothing's broken,
Lesley Ann

An Oldie But Goodie: "Morning Eyeliner, Havok's Written Word, and Los Angeles: The Concrete Jungle"

2011-11-17T09:28:00.000-08:00

Hello All,

Since I've moved back to the States from my 2-year post-graduate school trek in Edinburgh, Scotland, I've been brewing up a wealth of new articles which I'm proud to say are well in production. I'll have one up later this week which will get you up to speed with my transition back to New York. In the meantime, here's an extremely old "post-of-a-post-of-a-post" from my MySpace blog dated 2 Dec 2006. Since then, my understanding of the world, especially urban and landscape contexts, have changed...maybe dramatically. I suppose however that I've decided to post this because I find it quite interesting that almost 6 years ago I was traveling to and back from a long-term stay in Europe. The story is the same today, only I'm hoping I'm much wiser, and maybe a better writer (haha).

Maybe there's another layer of analysis to this: If the world truly runs on time, seasons, and planetary alignment, will I be having another blog such as this? A blog about change, transformation, and understanding? I'll keep an eye out. In 2018, if I'm still alive, I'll write a blog about it, and maybe, maybe, I'll live long enough to write the next one. How about you? What were you doing 6 years ago, and has your life come full-circle?

As always, please no judging or non-constructive criticism on my article and other people's comments. I would like to maintain an open and healthy dialogue amongst us readers. A humble request from an amateur blogger. =)

Love, Lesley Ann

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Morning Eyeliner, Havok's Written Word, and Los Angeles: The Concrete Jungle"

I've just discovered this morning, as I sojourned to Mom's bedroom to use le toilet , (John was using the shower in the other bathroom) that I have a grandmother who is an English Phd and has written a book about Mom's father's side of the family tree.....sooo, we'll be taking some family photographs in the backyard this afternoon to place in her book. Mom spoke enthusiastically about this as she applied her eyeliner. You can tell she's excited when she raises her pitch while she dotes on her plans for the day. Funny...it's almost as if she's yelling at you down a hallway...but that's Mom, and that's why I love her.

Speaking of writing, I woke up around 6:45 am today and couldn't get back to sleep. I suppose I'm still in work-schedule mode- 6:45 am: wake, 7:00 am: go back to sleep, 7:30 am: shower, 8:00 am: get my ass to work pronto! Since I couldn't go back to sleep, I decided to dip into some of Davey Havok's tasty blog literature (yes, I know, I'm hooked on MySpace....ooh the agony. Blame Han ^_~). For the more 'seasoned' writers, it may not be your cup of tea. I'll leave it up to you to decide....

In retrospect, it's a charm to read his work, and I honestly believe that if he committed some time to write a novel (a biography would be splendid), it would be just as insatiable as his music. Albeit, I'm not an English major, a psychology major, nor anyone worthy of being a critic, I must say that the way he writes has an easy flow to the prose. Somehow, there's a transparency that maintains a sense of mystery and reserve that is elegantly appropriate for his position as a popular singer, lyricist, psychologist, and writer (ok, maybe more like a renaissance man)....It's a good feeling to know that he (and I'm sure for many as well) is aware of how psychologically theraputic writing is, and therefore indulges on pixelating his thoughts on the monitor...Indeed, a creative spirit. For, I believe if someone like himself were to abstain from writing, it would be like Hiroshima in the brain.

I have further resolved that, being an architect, I must follow his example and write a little of what I know in my career. I have acquiesced to Michael's suggestion to save my architectural creative energy for my portfolio (which I AM going to work on today) and take an excerpt from one of my previous Deviant Art journal entries.

If you're so inclined to learn a little bit about architecture and urbanism (actually, it's quite long) then please read the (un-edited) February 19,2006 entry below. As I leave you today, I promise I'll make an effort to be more visually restorative and post some pictures online:

DeviantArt Journal Entry
Sunday: February 19, 2006
"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."

Dear Reader,

I'm just going to speak from the depths of my tangled mind. I don't know where to begin, nor do I know how to make this journal entry pretty. Here goes......It's been almost half a year since I've been to Deviant Art. Months traveling around Europe has been an exciting experience as well as excrutiating (as I was separated from my love for 4 months), but seeing as it may, I've survived and now I'm back in the United States....hopefully a little wiser, and with greater understanding of my built environment. For those living in Europe, I'd say you've got yourself a sweet deal for living in a country that encourages public transporation.

Los Angeles is a very pedestrian unfriendly city (as well as much of America), and using a car as a basic means of getting yourself from Point A to Point B very much segregates you from your own world and reality....I don't like it one bit. I think this keeps you away from experiencing diversity, and in some ways can encourage racism and prejudice that cities like Los Angeles suffers from on a daily basis. For example, you're stuck in your car on the 5 South during rush hour in the sweltering heat. It's been 45 minutes since you've gotten out of work and you're still stuck in your steel prison. You think it's ridiculous that you could probably get home faster by walking if the traffic keeps up. Then, an old asian female driver cuts in front of you and you break abruptly. What upsets you even more is that damn stereotype that old asian female drivers are just "naturally horrible at driving". Could it be that your anger from the traffic jam is escalated by being cut off by a minority with a stereotype that's been engrained in your mind from daily living? Should you be angry at asian drivers, or should you be angry for their actions? Could these actions be avoided if you lived closer to home? If not, then what's wrong with the urban structure of cities like Los Angeles that has caused us to work, shop, and dine so far away from home? What would the quality of our lives be like if we could choose to spend those extra hours in any way we please?

If you were in a pedestrian friendly city, where chunks of the city are like smaller more dense neighborhoods where work is just a 10 minute walk away, or at most a 10 minute train ride away, don't you think that would give you more time to enjoy the better things in life? Being an architect and an emerging urban designer, I realize these urban qualities, especially after analyzing the urban models of cities like Paris, Berlin, and Barcelona. The reason why these historical cities are so successful and have unfathonable perseverence is because of the density. They have their own ways of avoiding 'Sprawl', a term that cities like Los Angeles suffers from, because instead of growing vertically, it grows horizontally, feeding into the suburbian soils of the Valleys. Life in Europe, to me, seems to be a bit more enlightened because the average urban European spends more time outside of the vehicle walking from Point A to Point B. These individuals can enjoy the open air and burn those extra calories instead of sitting idol inhaling the exhaust and simmering heat of a traffic jam. This aspect of pedestrian transportation in the European life I greatly admire and I would like to aim towards if I ever become an urban planner or a liscened architect.

I'd rather prefer walking to the outdoor neighborhood market and go shopping down boulevards like Friedrichstrasse (Berlin), Las Ramblas (Barcelona), and Champs du Elissees (Paris), than getting stuck in block-like complexes such as shopping malls, parking structures, and K Marts. I understand that these elements can form the American way of life, and our history has made life here the way it is....It's unavoidable, and I know that it can be insulting for anyone to say that this makes American life dull, for who am I to be so biased? Coming from Los Angeles suburbia, I can see the advantages of American commercialism- Strip Malls, Grocery Store chains, and fast food restaurants- for they are important resources for society and a way of (and to make a) living.

I think there's hope for suburbia yet in terms of growth and development. Areas of densification are happening in portions of Los Angles (and LA County) such as Santa Monica 3rd Street Promenade, Colorado Boulevard- Old Town Pasadena, and smaller establishments such as The Village- Claremont. In these dense areas, there's life happening both in the day and at night and the spaces are highly desireable to just stroll and enjoy the urban fabric because it's safe. I believe that Downtown Los Angeles does not fall into this category because there is an unbalance between work and living spaces. There are more office/ work buildings than there are residential buildings on ground level, there are no grocery stores, sparce open green space (like parks), and the shopping areas and restaurants are not as successful as expected for a structurally dense area such a Downtown LA. Why is this? This is because the buildings are mostly occupied by workers outside of the city (such as the Inland Empire and Orange County areas where land is more affordable), and the people who do live in the city are the upper-working-class who retreat in sky scraper like buildings. At night, the city is deserted sans the homeless and the random vehicles that zoom down the empty streets at dangerous speeds.

If one were to look at Downtown in a different perspective, the area is so dense with empty sky scrapers that during the evening, the ground floor transforms into a hazardous zone because the pedestrian level in Los Angeles is known to be home for those can't afford to live in expensive apartments and own vehicles- that which physically segregates the upper working class and impoverished. In that sense, "No one walks in LA." As for the upper-working-class, they spend their evenings either at home entertained with their desktops and/or cable televisions, or they're out in their vehicles stuck in evening traffic trying to get to places that ARE safer at night such as Hollywood, Santa Monica, and Pasadena, area where there is more safety in large numbers.

Taking this into perspective, the American model of an urban environment versus the European model is quite underdeveloped. Europe obviously has had more time to develop and densify itself over the last thousands of years with history to back up its culture, as opposed to America where we've only had the last 200 years to really have an opportunity to become the power we are today (with Los Angeles in particular, that's only had the last 100 years to develop into what it is now). Taking this into account that I am an architect and an aspiring urban planner, I could see there is much work to be done for the identity of America as being the country of the future. How can architects, urban planners, and engineers lead America to becoming better than it is now? What are their responsibilities? What are potential solutions to some of our vehicle/pedestrian issues? How do we make the average American walk again? One thing is for sure, I am not going to overlook these issues and design a building just so that it looks cool and is a self-actualization of my ego. That is selfish and unrealistic, for no building can be successful if it's designed because I simply "...wanted it to look that way.", "Bigger is better", and because "I think it's better that way." I am going to design according to sustainability, and that which will persevere throughout history and give a sense of identity in the community it connects itself with. Traveling abroad has taught me these values- that going back to the historical lands of civilization will teach us where humanity has made mistakes and where humanity has been successful. Then, we must take it back to America as a second chance to improve and create that balance we all strive for.

Thank you and much love,
Lesley Ann

Is this what I LOVE?

2011-05-15T05:35:00.000-07:00

Imagine...

"It's like breathing underwater", she said to herself as she curled up in the sunny corner of the room. The timber floorboards radiated heat, and it felt like being enveloped in the palm of someone's hand. She felt small. The space swam with people, and scents; the yellow beams cut through the tall, breezy clerestory windows. It was a wedding reception. All was a blur and nothing concrete can be said about the laughter and the stories which passed that day. She was in her own mind; it was warm. She was happy to be small...as long as she was there.

Being small was part of her life. She did this every day, pulling sleighs to and from the fishing docks. Every load felt heavier and as each day went on, her team mates would pull less...always less. It was her nature to do more, and always more. She felt obligated to, like there was no other way; because she knew that it had to get done. How else would her masters eat? How would her family eat? "Do it for everyone else", they said. She was raised this way- to swallow every emotion which came to surface- because if it came through she would get whipped. It was always this way. Get angry and get punished. So she kept working, never stopping...always pleasing.

Last winter, the harbor edges froze and the boats arrived in large waves. The steady flow of shipments soon became congested, and loads of cargo had to be pulled in sprints by all the teams. At times they would wait for hours, and for others they had to pull large shipments without stopping. There was always more to do. Their feet dragged through the darkness, and they lost themselves a little more each trip.

It was on the 28th haul that her breathing became shallow; like trying to breathe underwater. Why couldn't she will herself to move? Why was there a sharp pain in her chest?

"Just a little more, a little further...I love you, you're almost there. Then you can rest", she said to herself. Something released in her, like an explosion in her chest; and something warm poured inside. That night she was dragged the rest of the way.

Maybe she wasn't meant for this life. But if she had a choice, where would she go, and what would she do? She served her time and she fought for those who depended on her. Though nothing was given back, she still loved them. With everything she had, she still loved them....and despite this, she didn't want to give up. She wanted to live, but for what? For whom?

Time is healing...

The space was warm with the spring air which carried the scent of jasmine, lavendar, and burning candles. It was crowded with tables filled with guests and a course of entrees, carefully selected by the bride. There was joy, atmosphere, and relief from the passing winter. A bright light pierced through the clerestory windows and pushed onto the floorboards under the sleeping animal at the corner of the room. No one saw her there, and in their hearts she didn't exist. But in hers she remembered everyone. She waited paitiently to be called, while resting in the palm of the sunlight which filled that space.

Love,
Lesley Ann

In Progress....

2011-03-24T12:08:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader,

Among many things, here's something I'm currently working on- a painting/collage for my Major Design Project.

In this I'm having a dry run with textures, toning, settings, etc...I'm adding more layers, and there definitely will be people, birds, plants, more textures, text, leaders, and accreting mud. The painting is meant to portray the layering of systems which are existing and proposed on the project Site, which I'm still struggling to name (maybe "Lea Valley Gateway Park, or the Lea Valley Regional Park Junction...).

The existing elements are the overpasses, the canalized river, the mud, the pylons, cranes, and railway tracks. My intervention is the idea of "stitching" these systems horizontally in the site using boardwalks; it is to re-connect the pedestrian paths on both sides of the river. It's also vertically "stitching" the layers, using the structural supports of the boardwalks which are equipped with light pylons. The vertical structures function in two other ways. They act as agents, encouraging the growth and regeneration of the salt marsh habitat which existed prior to the River Lea's canalization. The pylons are also equipped with audio, video, motion sensors, and free wireless internet for security and research purposes. As part of the package, there are outlets and frames on which experimental interactive technology can be attached and plugged in. The site exists within the Thames Digital Gateway (like the Silicon Valley), as well as the Green Enterprise District (where renewable energy research is encouraged). Therefore, these two other systems (IT and renewable energy) can work simultaneously on site.

When all of these systems interact with each other, there is a richness of transportation and pedestrian movement, biodiversity, and information transfer. Since the site is well integrated in the urban context, which is promised for continued growth, the Site will become what Bill Hillier (professor and researcher of urban morphology in Cambridge) calls a 'Multiplier Effect'. It will also become a data landscape where information can be extracted for research and improvement of planning and building industries. The ultimate goal is for digital/green technology to advance to the point where researchers can develop a method to communicate with Nature (literally). If this is possible, there is certain to be a bounty of information which can be extracted from the Earth.

In the end, it is a platform on which all these stories can take place. It will become prototype for a new type of landscape.

So that's my brief, so far. I'm re-writing it so that it's easier to understand; there definitely be more maps and diagrams to accompany it. I'm quite slow at doing my work because this is something new for me. I'll have more for you later. Take care!

Like a Bowl of Oranges,

Lesley Ann

Getting Up To Speed With "Now"

2011-03-05T18:32:00.000-08:00

Dear Reader,

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've also set my myspace profile on Private, so only my friends can read it; sorry about that as well. But if you'd like to read, please just add me as a friend yea? ;)

To get you guys up to speed since my last post- I've finally selected a site for my Major Design Project. It's in London at the Lower Lea Valley in Bow Creek. The Site currently has plans for construction by SOM, but as far as I know they've haulted the project due to lack of funds....the recession, I guess? How IS the economy back at home by the way? I've been so disconnected, living the university world, that the real world seems miles away....

To get back on my MDP, I've decided to take this project on because it's a flood zone and is a gateway to and from the Lea Valley Regional Park. Hence, it will become a park/flood mitigation zone- a point along the River Lea which is distinguished by its meander. In my project, I'm proposing to de-canalize the river and let the landscape evolve naturally, while adding a "pedestrian" layer of boardwalks, stitching the context.

Here's a portion of my Site near the Eco-Park

And another view from Canning Town Tube Station.

In SOM's design, they proposed to build several high-rise residential towers and mixed-use services on podium level. This doesn't seem appropriate to me. Why build high-rises within a flood zone right? Also, why build high rises in a context which has too many unsuccessful projects. To be fair, I know my project would never get built. It requires a long consultation and planning approval process; but it's a paper landscape after all. One is allowed to post a scenario where canalized edges are viable lol! It gets more involved than this, but I'll spare you the details and move forward.

I've been working on this project since last January and so far it's developed well; but I suppose like many designers, I don't feel like I've developed it enough to feel safe. I've got another Crit in less than 2 weeks, and I've got to pick myself up and design like a mad woman! Down to the details no less....which means I'll have to thoroughly figure out my master plan and timescale maps.... I've never done a timescale map before, so I'm a little hesitant to get into it. I know I should be brave and jump into the water, so I've cornered myself by scheduling a photoshoot with Agnes next weekend hahah! I must be insane. It will be fun and refreshing though, because it will be outdoors at the Botanic Gardens. A surreal "Alice" shoot to be exact. I'm totally looking forward to it. Maybe "winging" it in front of the camera will get me to be more confident about "jumping" into my timescale map. That's it! I feel much better about it now. =)

I suppose to make things a bit more interesting, I'm also planning on entering this project into the Forgotten Spaces competition in London. The registration deadline is the 30th of this month, so I've got to get myself moving along. The submission deadline is the 12th of May, which is shortly after our MDP Hand-In. It's going to be an intense next few months. I'd better be ready to do a lot of jumping lol!

Progress in other facets of my career have somewhat gone forward as well. I've been thinking about extending my stay here in the UK, perhaps working for Chora in London for a year. I'm not too sure how it will work out. I've tried contacting Raoul several times whenever I go to London for site visits, but our timetables are like passing ships. We go sailing by silently in a fog hahah! That said, I have several plans- A) work in London or Edinburgh, B) work in Zurich for Gunther Vogt, C) move back to NYC and apply for a job with Terraform ONE or Diana Balmori...maybe even be a teaching assistant at Columbia Uni, D) move back to Cali, apply for work with the government or work with David Fletcher in Northern Cali. I've got too many options, I know; but that's where I stand right now.

I've also been thinking about freelancing again- improving my website, learning Dreamweaver and Flash- and getting gigs especially for Set Design and graphic design..It will just be for little things here and there. Why not right? =) For modeling, I don't know if there's much potential by way of it becoming a major cash flow. It's more like a hobby really; a different form of creative expression which I don't get from architecture to be honest. I'm glad I have both though. They keep me level-headed.

That's all the vital things I have to write about for now. I'll have more to write about as the week goes by. I'm sure I'll have a lot to reflect on as my project develops...maybe I'll even have some sexy graphics to show! How exciting will THAT be? Until then, stay warm, wherever you are; all the best on your endeavours.

Swing low dear chariot,
Lesley Ann

ps: Some inspiration for my design concept. =)

Onward to New Horizons: London, Zurich, and Cybernetics

2010-08-15T08:37:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader,

It’s a beautiful day here in London! I just finished mass, lunch, and now I’m sitting here in my flat with the French bay window open; a slight breeze from Finchley Road is flowing through, stirring the curtains. London is buzzing, sirens and babies crying, women clicking the pavement with their Sunday afternoon heels and sundresses. My computer, in some cosmic way, is playing the song “Dust in the Wind” by Kansas. A steaming cuppa sits to my right. Clouds of milk still stir in the amber liquid…..I take a sip. =)

It’s been over a month since I’ve last posted hasn’t it? I guess to begin, much has been going on, and to be honest it’s been quite overwhelming! I first went to Zurich, Switzerland in July for an interview with Gunther Vogt Landscape Architecture. I got the position, however they were looking for an intern that could stay for up to 6 months. Unfortunately, I only needed an internship for the summer, so I had to kindly decline. The good news is I have the option of working in Switzerland if I had the right visa! What an exciting thing- to work in Zurich, the birthplace of Dadaism! So why Switzerland? Gunther Vogt gave a lecture at ECA a few months earlier, and his perspective on design and life absolutely clicked with mine. It dwelled on minimalism for one, however it wasn’t an uncomfortable type of minimalism. Rather, he emphasized spirituality and clarity- reducing clutter in the mind and heart of landscape architecture to create modest, honest, open spaces….holy spaces it felt….like the Swiss Embassy landscape in Berlin, near the Reischstag. The goal of the German government, I suppose in essence, was to focus on redemption and openness. This became real in the architecture (Foster’s Reischstag), the Sony Centre at Potzdamer Platz, and Vogt’s parliament landscape.

I guess another reason why I was so attracted to Switzerland was it’s graphic design- it’s movements in Deconstructivism in Dadaism- the emotional responses to the World Wars made real in their advertisements and package designs. To bring it into modern times, think about the graphics for the band Franz Ferdinand, and to some extent Modest Mouse. That will give you an idea of what I’m talking about. I understand as a designer, it’s probably best to not re-create a style that was appropriate for the epoch it developed, but maybe it’s a starting point? For some reason it is taking me forever to grasp this style, and I’ve tried many ways to study it, maybe even duplicate it to enhance my own personal style of graphic representation. Maybe I’m struggling because I was not raised in the geography of the land it germinated. I grew up in Los Angeles, in a Filipino family, and my visual vocabulary consists mostly of swirls of light, heat, swimming pools, sunsets, movement, and dust.

After my trip to Zurich, and spending a considerable amount of time with my beloved Auntie Nena over there, I’ve decided to put it in my back-pocket and move on. I’m not sad, just curious to know if that will be a direction my life would go. For now, I have London to face.

Now, I’m in London because I’m interning for Raoul Bunschoten at Chora Architecture and Urbanism in Camden/Kentish Town. This direction is incredible as well, and probably loaded with more purpose, because my goal is to do more research on the Thames Gateway which will be the focus of my Major Design Project at ECA. There will be a considerable amount of focus on the regeneration of the Thames, especially in East London, close to the location of the 2012 Olympics. Also, since this will be my last year in the UK, I’m hoping to make it a good one (that is unless I can either stay a year longer for an art degree or working visa….more on that later…). One of my schoolmates, Liva, helped me get the position, and I’m eternally grateful. I’ve also met so many wonderful characters here- Helene Binet, Raoul’s wife, is one of the most talented architectural photographers I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. She’s always having volunteers and interns walking in and out of her office (upstairs from the Chora office); and the interesting thing is some aren’t even photographers. Some are junior high school students, interested in art and/or photography. Some are architecture undergrads, friends of the family, or relatives, all pitching in to help her develop film, organize stock, and archive files. Quite simple work actually, but it makes me wonder if I could lend her a hand as well…..hmmmm….

Now, I’ve been working for Raoul for roughly 3 weeks. His method of thinking and design is completely different from what I’m accustomed to. He developed his thesis, from my understanding, through the work of Gordon Pask on cybernetics. I really can’t tell you what cybernetics is about because I’ve just recently begun to understand it (quite literally 3 days ago). However, if I were to give it my best, at least for Raoul’s thesis, it does happen to touch on the idea that creation, urbanism, and all that is material is static, unorganized, and constantly in flux. Design, whether it’s a building, a landscape, or a city, must accommodate this by providing a flexible structure, a place for growth, on the micro and macro levels, and definitely in the scale of the human being….

In another angle, by which I’ve begun to understand his thesis, Raoul emphasizes on the need to help the actors or stakeholders in an urban environment of study (he calls them “Sectors”, or if given a smaller/specific site, a “Prototype”), more aware of self-sustainability, and the power they have to make a positive change in the environment. It also touches on economics and “non-structural” systems, such as the unfolding of time, that would bring about change and the development of an existing urban environment; the key actors or stakeholders in these environments would be the participants in its design; therefore the architect is not designing the city, but rather its participants. For example, Greenwich Village in New York was first designed as a small/medium-scaled, residential, pedestrian-friendly neighborhood before the invention of the auto-mobile. The people who lived there were middle-working class New Englanders. They maintained an “average” lifestyle, and the neighborhood during its time, was very much “average”. As the rest of New York developed into a modern metropolis, Greenwich Village has maintained its physical character, or rather resisted the changes brought by the unfolding of time, by the dynamics between key actors such as the war between Jane Jacobs, Robert Moses, and the City of New York. Greenwich Village resisted physical/urban fabric changes as time unfolded, and but the people who live there now, the user-group of its “new” design, and presented by Jane Jacob’s influence, are grassroots activists, artists, environmentalists, and the city’s elite. It’s a jewel in the City of New York, because very few small-scaled neighborhoods exist within Manhattan.

With this case-study in mind, Raoul is creating an awareness, designing (“teaching” as a way to put it), the minds of students, stake-holders, architects, and other actors in emerging environments (aka: “Sectors”, like “Sector T”- for the Thames, the environment I’m doing research on), about the ways of sustainability, renewable energy, and so forth. Jane Jacobs knew Greenwich Village needed to be preserved, not only because she lived there, but also because of its people and it’s potential to become a beacon of sustainable growth in a city that was losing its history. This is what I’m doing for Raoul as I continue to study the Thames Gateway.

If you were to read any of his books, dear Reader, you would be quite confused. The language, or perhaps jargon used in his thesis uses metaphors, prose, or even iconography to describe an idea because, given the constant flux of urbanism, a taxonomic name would be too specific, and perhaps inaccurate. For example, how do we label a person, or a cause, or the existence of an object, if it’s constantly changing, or the perception of it is different from one person or being, to the next? I’m quite certain Jane Jacobs didn’t know she was helping with the design outcome of Greenwich, nor Robert Moses….However, I’m quite certain they had feelings involved as they participated in saving or changing New York. How would you place a label on a feeling? More so, how would you label Jane Jacobs? She wasn’t an architect, she didn’t have a college degree; she was a journalist, and maybe a shaper, but she wasn’t creating the Greenwich Village we see today….it already existed. Its perception has merely changed, and it’s method was the unfolding of time, through the hand of key actors or agents, a non-structural method of design...somehow Time choreographed it into a Metacity…..

This way of thinking has given me more direction, because quite often I would think or create a design that can’t be given a label; and quite often I would feel disappointed in myself for not knowing what to name it….For example, I designed a garden for a veterinary hospital in Edinburgh…but it’s name- a “Healing Garden”- didn’t seem quite right, and if I called it a “Space for Change”, or a “Space in Flux”, people would not understand it. In a way, branding it would be false, because there are so many ways to use the so-called “Garden” that I designed; and locking it with a label would restrict it to a specific use. At the end of the project timeline, I called it a “Healing Garden” because that was the best way for me to “sell” it to our Client. It was a bit frustrating, but maybe at the end of the day, I just had to settle.

Raoul’s way of thinking makes me feel happy- that it’s ok to leave things out in the open, to develop in its own. If you set a stage for the actors and players to do their own thing, you are doing enough as an architect or a designer; and most often you know you’re doing this out of love, at least to your best ability. For the larger picture, however, I’m still struggling on creating a method to communicate this concept in a simple and concrete format. I definitely could not teach it in a few sentences.....Yet, Raoul was able to win the hearts of Ken Yeang, Zaha Hadid, Eeclo Hooftman, and REM Koolhaas. Maybe it’s because they think like him…maybe it’s because they’ve known him for a long time, and therefore had the time to develop a history of communication among themselves. It’s incredible…..

All things considered, Raoul currently teaches in Dusseldorf, and also is a professor here for the London Metropolitan University. He’s also worked with the Architectural Association and the Bartlett (I think), so there’s loads of research done on his part. He’s also written quite a number of books including his thesis book: “Urban Flotsam”. I have the prototype book here, sitting so comfortably on my desk, with post-it notes all over it. =)

So here we are again, returning from the depths of cybernetics, London, and Swiss Dadaism. “Dust in the Wind” has transformed into “Heaven” by Lamb. The window is closed, my tea is cold, and I just inhaled the last gulp. I’m going to make more though, and accompany it with a few biscuits, because it’s 4pm; and as we all know, in Britain 4pm is officially Tea Time! I hope you enjoyed this read- I definitely did. It brought light to so many issues that have been floating around in my head; and I think I will enjoy my cuppa knowing I could return to work tomorrow with more peace of mind. I’ll keep you posted of more changes. Until then, enjoy the rest of your summer! =)

Love in the Clouds,
Lesley Ann

....it is not constant

2010-06-22T15:39:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader,

I feel my life will change dramatically this year. It's difficult to describe, but I've already taken action is so many areas- pursuit of my landscape architecture degree, a recent visit to Zurich, Switzerland for an interview in Gunther Vogt's office, and now I will be spending most of my summer researching on climate change, improving my graphic skills, and locating a project site for next term. I've yet to find one and really can't decide between north-eastern Europe and Asia. This year is going to be exhausting and challenging! Also, I've been itching to improve in other hobbies- singing (yes I know, but really I've always wanted to try hahaha), learning how to play the guitar (again), and modeling. I'm not particularly gifted in any of these. I just find that they balance my life so well when I spend time on them. Thankfully though, I wouldn't find enjoyment in these hobbies without my purpose for being in the UK- to get my second degree in Landscape Architecture, to one day teach, and become a stronger, more active professional. To reflect on all these developments so far, I've experienced a new understanding of the words "Change", "Consistency", and "Identity".

Speaking of being more professional, I have a new addition to my summer reading list- The Reflective Practitioner: How Professionals Think in Action by Donald A. Schon. I was reminded to borrow this from the ECA library when I was re-reading the comments my studio professor wrote when she finished grading my performance. She noted that I should try to relax and observe the world around me....to breathe, meditate, and not work so hard all the time....and by doing so, naturally this new input will make an impression on my ability to improve my designs. Landscape is very different from architecture. Yet, I find this advice would have been helpful when I was at USC. Maybe my designs wouldn't have looked so Brutalistic. In the end of my first year, I didn't have the grade I had expected, despite all my hard work. It was quite lower. I would have argued against it, but something in my gut told me to suspend my actions and LISTEN. I'm ok at understanding what people tell me, but I have a difficult time heeding advice. If it doesn't suit me, or function with my plans, it's quite difficult to swallow. I know this happens to the best of us; I guess it's been a while since I've had such precise (in some areas), and (in others) strangely vague, constructive criticism....

After a few hours of reading The Reflective Practitioner, I've realized that I don't want to return it after my three-day loan period. I'll have to buy a copy. Thinking about my professor's comments, I felt sheepish of my initial reaction to be defensive (and at times offensive). I'm glad I didn't do anything about it. This book fully explains the ambiguities of her writing. I think I have, indeed, been unaware of the tremendous responsibility I have as a new professional and future instructor to take time out of my "industrious" and "hard-working" vacuum, away from honing my graphic and technical skills which will soon become obsolete anyway, so I could rightfully spend my time building up my foundations. Learning how to learn, how to think, how to observe the "now". What's going on in the world today? What are its problems? What advances have been made in fields beside my own that are currently affecting global issues? How do I respond to it? What role do I play?? What messes are out there that I play a part in managing? We are not disconnected and the world is not constant. I'm no longer considered a professional if I'm not up to date with an understanding of my field. Again, I felt naive to put more time in "seductive" graphics.

As a final thought, I truly feel my interests in design are slowly shifting. They still respond to issues of global warming and hands-on practice/technique; However, I've come to experience that after reading a few articles listed in my previous post and today's book, that learning Rhino and another tool in AutoCAD or Sketchup is less significant than understanding how, when, and why I do what I do. How do we accept that global warming is all part of a cycle? What sort of research and practice can be done to adapt to these changes? When will research catch up with technology, and when will the construction industry catch up? Why am I getting a post-graduate degree? For me, it's important to do my best not lead the client, the construction team, all the consultants, and even my contemporaries down well-worn paths when I know the world never truly stays still. However, with all things considered, I could never call myself a professional.

What is the "Fittest"?
Lesley Ann

Pursuit for a Productive Summer

2010-05-31T17:06:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader,

Last Saturday marked my first day of research for my Major Design Project for next term at ECA. I went to the University Library (originally in search for a Rhino tutorial, but found out the Artificial Intelligence Library- where the book was kept- burned down 4 years ago) and borrowed a new book on Climate Change instead. Maybe this will encourage my understanding of the chain effects global warming has on human and non-human systems. It HAS to be part of a simple cycle, exacerbated by the carbon pollutants we've emitted into the biosphere.

My topic: something along the lines of self-sustaining cities (i.e. Cuba and the Bed Zed Eco-Village in London). In theory, if most carbon emitted into the biosphere is caused by the burning of resource material, then it's quite possible the construction and maintenance of cities are a leading cause....from the stripping of minerals, to even recycling...That said, I feel considerable amount of research needs to be done on my part to understand energy, food, and design efficiency to find ways to become a more responsible designer. Based on this new knowledge, I'll be better equipped to choose a site, a design concept, and enter it into a design competition. My goal this summer is to read up on Climate Change, eco-design, any other relevant topics, and do some traveling in search of an appropriate site. Target areas of interest remain: local food and energy production, pedestrian-friendly neighborhoods, re-use and recycling programs, micro and macro economics (that'll be a challenge hahah!), and transportation. Even a greater challenge for me- talk to the locals ::gasp!!::

Here's my reading list so far:

1) Cohen, Stewart J., Waddell, Melissa W., "Climate Change in the 21st Century"
2) Bell, Bryan and Wakeford, Katie, "Expanding Architecture: Design As Activism"
3) Farr, Douglas, "Sustainable Urbanism: Urban Design With Nature"
4) Hooftman, Eelco, "Design Against Nature"
5) Nisbett, Richard E., "The Geography of Thought: How Asians and Westerners Think
Differently....and Why"
6) Smith, Peter F. "Architecture and the Human Dimension"
7) Yeang, Ken, "Eco-Design: A Manual for Ecological Design"
8) Yu, Konjian, "The Art of Survival: Positioning Landscape Architecture in the New Era"

I feel like I'm missing something, but I guess for research there's always something more to read (no?). That should be enough for now. I don't want to make my head explode. Perhaps, depending on the direction my research, I could use this project to develop a Fulbright Fellowship proposal for 2011-2012. I tried applying for the Fulbright in 2009, but it didn't work out because my course at ECA was for 2 years, and the scholarship was only awarded for 1-year courses (shucks). If all goes well, I might be able to work or study in another country for free for a year. Oh but then I'll have to take into account my plans for the NCARB and LEED.... Who knows then, but I'll do my best to sort things out. Thanks for reading, wish me luck!!

Riot In My Brain,
Lesley Ann

Trudy Miller's Eco-Chic Fashion Show; and a Testimonial on Trudy's line

2010-04-09T12:37:00.000-07:00

To All Eco-Friendly People!

Come to Trudy Miller's Eco-Chic To Go Product Preview Event and Fashion Show!

http://smarterclothing.blogspot.com/
http://www.trudymillerlayers.com/inthebag

My story with Trudy Miller Layers:

I became friends with Trudy in the late summer of 2007 when I took a short trip to New York for some interviews, hoping to find employment and eventually make it on my own. At that time, I was staying with two of my most gracious friends (bless you Jess and Elena!) in Boerum Hill, Brooklyn, a lovely green neighborhood right outside of Manhattan. I happened upon her storefront which was just called "Layers" back then on Atlantic Avenue. I think, cosmically, the planets were aligned that day!

"'Layers'?....That sounds like trace paper....does this have something to do with architecture?", I thought as I let myself in. I was feeling particularly blue that day because I was anxious about my interviews, and just about the usual everything. I felt my whole life was shifting- away from love, to a new career, to a change of lifestyle. It was a shift from the laid-back culture of Los Angeles to the busy metropolis of New York. Could I take it?.... I would have to admit, it was brought back to reality when Trudy popped out from underneath the counter and the seemingly empty store became alive.

Trudy had such a comfortable presence about her. She gave me a quick tour around the store (before its current renovation), and we passed by collections of clothing and accessories from local artists which had their own little niches and glass boxes. To me, it was quite like being in a gallery! I was drawn to four shelves of colorful rolled fabric. It was Trudy's line, quite possibly before the invention of the Kimono Dragon. If I remember correctly, it was the gray Twist which I tried on first and wore as an off-the-shoulder blouse on a bias. Then it was a cream-colored piece (I apologize, for I've forgotten the name) which Trudy helped me convert next into a halter top, then a tube top with a bow, then something else totally weird but fun! It was so EASY to use! Trudy found it interesting that I was able to create such a variety of ways to wear her pieces, so I brought up the theory that it was due to my design background. I don't quite remember how the conversation went, but I do recall it was all over the place- from her architecture days at UC Berkeley, to design theory, philosophy, and why the world had yet to grasp sustainable, zero-waste clothing. I think our lively chatter lasted for several hours and ended with me quite happily investing in a gray Twist, a black Twist (originally for my sister, but then kept for myself ^_^), and the cream halter. Here's a link from my portfolio for a few looks I've created:

http://malapitdesign.carbonmade.com/projects/2640230#3

Funny, how times have changed. Looking at how well she's come along, I truly believe there's always been an audience out there for her; one that has the desire to think outside of the box and design their "Own" look by using her line as a medium of expression. I think we all can confirm we are different, though sometimes we are led to believe we need to look like someone else, dress like someone else. Us women, from one angle, can vary from being hourglass shaped, apple-shaped, pear-shaped, rectangular, etc.; and just to complicate things, our bodies change too. We gain weight, lose weight, grow taller, shorter, become pregnant. How on earth can we compete with the consistently beautiful people in magazines? The ones who never seem to change. I think what Trudy is trying to do is help her clients realize that with a shift here, a knot there, a tug, a pull, or a twist, there is a look suitable for that particular day and time.

"You can just be yourself", is what I think when I look in the mirror, "because I created this look on my own".

My life has changed so dramatically since my move to New York. Through Trudy, I met so many wonderful, creative, and inspirational people in the design and art world. In a very big way, her influence has helped me feel accepted in such a big city. It was fantastic fun to go to all her parties, pitch in at the store, volunteer as a model, and participate in one of her fashion shows! Then, last Autumn, I moved to Edinburgh, Scotland, to work towards my post-graduate degree in Landscape Architecture. Sustainability, more than anything, has become a core factor in my life. I find myself doing everything I can to stick to my student budget and reduce my carbon footprint. Lately I've been experimenting more and more with Trudy's pieces. To control the urge to buy new clothes just so I could look and feel different (not to mention reduce clutter in my already-small European closet), I try a new look. I think so far I've managed to come up with15 or more looks. When combined with some basics (i.e. black leggings, long-sleeve t-shirts, jeans, a blazer, black pumps), or another piece of hers, that number is tripled. Some of them are quite subtle, but can be emphasized by a few affordable accessories from a jumble sale which transform the look all together. Others are so dramatic that my friends hardly believe I could achieve so many looks with just one little black Kimono Dragon.

It's been three years since I bought my first piece from Trudy, and to this day all are in great condition and I continue to wear them creatively. They have been squished in my travel pack to Europe and the Philippines, pulled, twisted, and worn in all types of weather. Yet, after all this, they remain in my collection, nicely rolled up, occupying little space, waiting for the next adventure.

Now, with all that said, I do wish I could attend Trudy's fashion show, but I must remain dutiful and continue my studies here in Scotland. I envy all those who could go. If you do go to Trudy's event, you can be certain have a great time and meet some very interesting people from the design, fashion, or art industry! If you're an eco-minded individual, you'll might find elements of this event inspirational and could possibly fuel ideas for your own personal projects to save the world. All are there to spread the love. =)

So come on!!! Give it a go!

For Peace, don't take "No" for an answer,
Lesley Ann

Progress.....and an online portfolio!!

2010-04-05T17:48:00.000-07:00

Hello All,

This will be my first post after over 6 months of having my Blogger membership! My apologies for the delay. I've pasted a link to my online portfolio below. In it, you'll find a few projects I've done when I was an undergrad architecture student at the University of Southern California; and a project I had just completed at the Edinburgh College of Art in Scotland for the Masters of Landscape Architecture program. I also posted a few modeling images I did pro-bono for Trudy Miller: Layers (aka Clinch Design) in Brooklyn, NY. Some of the originals were washed out with white, so I've retouched them to bring out the texture in the fabric.

My goal is to have a more professional, custom-made portfolio done in Flash or Dreamweaver, and that'll be up as soon as I sort out all the coursework that needs to be done for ECA, and definitely after I learn Dreamweaver or Flash. Until that happens, this will serve as a temporary online portfolio. I hope you find it well.

http://malapitdesign.carbonmade.com/

Best Regards,
Lesley Ann