Malcolm's Miscellaneous Musings

Relationships, new experiences and learning new stuff

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Sat, 16 May 2015 10:18:00 +0000

Well I wonder if there is anyone out there, I feel guilty because I think blog, I dream blog, but I have not been writing blog ………………

So here goes, lets start and see where the muse takes me.

I have now become Chair of Relate Nottingham ……………….. this is a case study of how not to do it, but does reflect how the many volunteer driven organisations operate http://relate-nottingham.org.uk (http://relate-nottingham.org.uk)

I saw the advert on REACH Reach Home (a good place for professional people with time on their hands) I turned up for a discussion with the Chair, I went to three Board meetings as an observer, though I have to admit I did take the opportunity to speak out, correctly or not. So I was happy to become a Trustee but then the Chair stood down, the Vice Chair stood down, both had exceeded the 8 years limit, several other Trustees packed their bags and I indicated I might possibly consider it ………..there were no other candidates and I became elected !

As is my want, I now find myself in the role of Change Manager ………. the future will see what direction this takes. Anyone in Nottingham area fancy being a Trustee, let me know. More musings may result as I steer the ship into unchartered seas or onto the rocks.

That leads to to another theme, that of life long learning. OK thats a management buzz word but the truth emerges when as above you need to learn new things. The other new thing is that I am on the path to become a Chair of the Bench in the Magistrates Court. For those less familiar and overseas readers, a bench of Magistrates is normally three people, one Chair and two wingers. Only the Chair can speak directly to the court to the defendant, solicitors etc.

Now I have observed this as a winger for a number of years and in view of advancing years, JPs must retire at 70, I hesitated to put my name forward for training but decided why not, once again retirement allows you freedom, if I didn’t like it then I just stop !

The training as always was OK, now I know that my background in learning & development makes me more critical in a “I wouldn’t do it that way” attitude, anyway after two days of training including role plays, I started on first practice sessions, these are however in real courts with real defendants, solicitors etc and whilst I felt that I had done things like this before I was surprised to get a dry mouth, losing my place and trying to listen whilst thinking about what comes next. Of course the Legal Advisor is helpful.

I have done three of these but trying to do multiple things at once taught me that I have to be specific with delegating jobs to the wingers and being clear about peoples’ names. Especially in a court with lots of different cases, we had evading train fares, not sending kids to school, breaches of fines and other court orders and some others that have disappeared from memory.

I now start next week with the first of three appraised sessions where someone sits either with me or observing from the courtroom and then presumably we discuss and fill in a form. I understand the reasons but in maturity the actual process of being a ‘junior learner’ is quite challenging. I reassure myself that if I fail, so what, I can still continue as a winger. Let’s see what happens over the next few months, I don’t know if I get a certificate or a letter to say I am competent or it just happens ……

So a brief catch up, I will resolve to write regularly, maybe a bit of politics now the Election is over, maybe some observations on that which never fails to illuminate, the behaviours and views of other people, or ………….feel free to suggest topics.

BEING A VICTIM

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Tue, 16 Dec 2014 04:37:00 +0000

I had the misfortune to be burglarised recently. Maybe we had become complacent, living in a middle class area and with the learned experience of no such events in many, many years.

I had traded convenience for security and hence the miscreant took his opportunity. Entering the garden via an unlocked gate and smashing a double glazed french door which had the key inside the lock.

It appeared to be a very fast smash and grab, as many items of value were left behind, but they managed to locate an expensive UHD TV, only a few months old, an Apple iMac of an earlier vintage, jewellery, watches, perfumes, cash etc. but other desirables left.

Nonetheless the experience was unsettling and the inconvenience though not major, was annoying.

Enter the insurance company and the loss adjuster. I have never encountered this profession whose role is to save the insurers as much as possible. However this was a relatively painless and quite quick experience. The process of claim was speedy but providing details demonstrated how complacent we were.

The TV was OK, being recent I had proof of purchase, the model was new so still in production, but the price had dropped around £500 since I had bought it but I got the same model replaced. The iMac was older and had been replaced by new models, the insurance covers new for old but the loss adjuster would not allow me to claim for the latest iMac 5G retina, rather the price of a lower spec model. In all fairness that would have been more modern, faster etc. I took the money and decided to upgrade to the latest adding my own money. Thus the burglary cost me more money ! but providing this one is not stolen or breakdowns, I am future proofed for a few years.

Other stuff was more difficult, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,jewellery and watches, ………..we did not have receipts nor photos (tip here snap all your stuff when you buy it) and stuff dating back to 1970s was pretty much impossible to arrive at a relevant replacement value. The loss adjuster engaged a specialist jewellery advisor apparently, we never met him, and it was that value we accepted. I guess we might have argued but …………..

Anyway, a figure was agreed and paid, in cash, check your insurance, some insist on replacing stuff themselves, but I had cash in the bank.

Now the fun starts, scouring the internet, but restricted to iPad as computer gone. Seeking deals and offers, not forgetting cashback sites, I expect a few pounds but you need to balance that with timescales and availability. The computer I wanted asap and the TV whilst I had others, which were not stolen, the big hole in the lounge was a constant reminder.

iMacs are cheaper from BHS direct than Apple, don’t buy Apple RAM try Crucial a third of the price, no Samsung soundbars available in UK, but Germany, via Amazon Marketplace delivered in a few days, TV from Doncaster, using a google search, £250 less than Currys. Amazon for cables etc, Ebay for other bits and some of the money repurposed to items now wanted.

Frustrations regarding delivery and delays and changes at the last minute but overall painless.

One left over item, the thief took a small drawer from the bedroom cabinet, it had the watches in, and left us with a gap, now need to find someone to build a replacement or replace the chest unit…….to be debated further.

The police response was encouraging though not successful, I called the incident in, PC here within 2 hours, CSI the next day, specialist CID team a few days later. We even got an item in the local Neighbourhood/police watch email. Alas no miscreant located, there was a general description from a neighbour but no car reg. A few weeks later my case was put on the back burner.

The concern was data on the iMac, but we travel hopefully here, Apple do a scheme whereby you can locate all your apple devices, phones, iPads etc and the IMac on line giving a GPS position. It also allows you to send a message to the miscreants, I settled with “try and sell this now you bastards” and then added the functions, to lock and then erase everything, I am waiting for someone to connect it to the internet, maybe on Christmas Day when the thief or whoever he sold onto, sets it up ………….. I would really like to spoil their day.

The experience also prompted a security review, lock doors even when in, same for gates, take keys out of locks, I now have them in a safe when everyone is out or at night. I am still considering alarm or CCTV, maybe Santa will assist !

If there is any moral or lesson to this tale is that it could have been very much worse, no one was home and no one was injured, insurance proved its worth, though wait for next years quotes. Being retired I had the time to search for deals, wait in for deliveries etc, working people might find the time a burden.

Nevertheless it reinforces the concern that you may be a victim of crime and that there are plenty of dishonest snd uncaring thieves out there. I was aware of this from my times on the Magistrates’ bench. Perhaps its the human condition, the survival of the fittest, the strong preying on the weak, the have nots wanting to be haves, the loss of community and respect for others.

Its nothing new, people have always coveted what they see others have, people are by nature selfish, what prevents crime is lack of opportunity, not a moral code, though some have that, they are unlikely to be the ones smashing your windows.

The pursuit of goods and new and shiner tech, seems to be a feature, Black Friday, Cyber Monday, such sales before Christmas are newish phenomenon So ‘free’ or very cheap stolen goods are alternatives for people who have the same desires and wants as those who can afford them, but lack legitimate means to acquire what they believe is their absolute right ………………..the poor are always with us ……………the criminals will always exist, …………..but be warned, my new improved 5000v security cordon, the vicious guards dogs, the razor wire and land mines are being installed next week !!!!

THE UK AND THE EU, A DISASTER WAITING ?

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Mon, 03 Nov 2014 13:26:00 +0000

Now I am not a political person, though I once stood for Parish Council but lost, but I take an interest in the news and what’s happening.

It now seems that the ‘are we in’ or ‘are we out’ fight with the EU is hotting up. Now I have specific views on this and declare myself as a European, I have visited various countries and at one time was going to retire to France.

What annoys me is the fact that the British Government, or the Conservatives to be accurate, are posturing and threatening and taking a frankly, “I’m alright sod the neighbours” attitude brought on by the threats of UKIP getting seats. That would be a disaster for the country but it is disappointing that Mr Cameron is trying to be a skeptic in the run up to the election. That’s the point, its “I will say whatever is needed to get myself back into government”

The hypocrisy is astounding, but I am not making a party political point as all the others do the same, what I do fear is that the UK would withdraw or even be kicked out for breaking the rules.

When will we realise that the days of the British Empire have gone, perhaps some will need to reflect that we we're not unblemished in areas such as human rights and equality, profit being the motive and stop looking back to days of world influence.

I really fail to understand the problem with free movement of labour, its a global world and the British and the Scots for centuries went all sort of places, the UK invited people from the West Indies in the 50s so that there were people to drive the buses, empty the refuse etc.

The Poles have been coming to UK for years, though I note that many are returning as Poland improves itself. There are queues of people at Calais trying to get in. There are Brits living and working in all the EU countries, would the EU send all of them back !

If we are so attractive, is this not a compliment ?

The argument is then turned to claiming benefits and health services, there are rules and if people meet them then why are they refused. The fact that the UK has ‘lost’ thousands upon thousands of people speaks more to the inefficiency of border controls, who started then scrapped the Border Agency ? and presides on a massively complex and unfathomable benefit system, where is the Universal Credits promised ?

I hope you get the gist, I hope that we are not returning to xenophobia, (though some never left it) nor direct discrimination to people who are a bit different to us, the UK is a total mix of people, think Saxons, Celts, Romans, Vikings ……….. the list goes on. The Scots, despite the narrow margin of the referendum, don’t think themselves as English, nor the Welsh or the Irish. Its perfectly possible to be a UK resident whilst still retaining your original systems and values. It will only take a generation or two for integration to naturally occur, count the number of highly successful Asians in business and politics, so the Bulgarians and other new states will also assimilate themselves whilst bringing new perspectives and traditions.

Now I am an OAP but I will seriously consider leaving the UK, (assuming I am allowed to keep my pension), if we leave the EU ………there really is no more GREAT in great Britain, wake up and smell the daisies, we are all in a global, shrinking world, is this the time to being a little, isolated, inbreed, racist, state with self serving politicians, situated off the coast of Europe with little influence on the rest of the world ?

I hope my foreign readers will bear with me and if reading this will realise that what is said in the papers and on UK TV, does not represent all the citizens.

WHAT PRICE ON LOVE ?

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Mon, 22 Sep 2014 13:15:00 +0000

I had an unusual and for me unique experience recently, I was asked for Lobola, it means the price that a man pays for his wife to the Father when she is wed. Traditionally set in cows, the practice has in one respect only, been updated to cash, it is unclear whether electronic payments and cards have been added to the tradition !

The request comes from the eldest brother (her Father being deceased) of my partner, who I have referred to in other blogs, and thus this becomes an interesting situation both personally and philosophically.

Respect for customs of others is good, but belief in the unalienable right is not. Lets rehearse some arguments.

The lady is question attracted lebowla previously when she was young, that relationship failed and I do not know if a refund was given because the husband no longer had the services of the wife, that makes some logical sense, but then sense and tradition do not always meet.

En passant it is interesting to compare this practice with the English version in olden days of the bride coming with a dowry i.e. an complete opposite. (Maybe I should have asked for a dowry !)

So we are led to the conclusion that this is a cultural thing which even modern men and women in Zimbabwe and in other parts of Africa still hold onto despite the women often being highly educated and intelligent and whom you might suppose would also resent being sold ............ for what we have is a form of slavery, the man buys a wife who is then his property. Now lets not blame Africa, the status of women has changed, similar attitudes existed and may still exist in Western or other countries, until quite recently. I can remember in my lifetime when a woman's income was added to her husbands tax return !

So the practice is out of date and demeaning to the woman and indeed the man who agrees to pay it, this is human trafficking and human rights trumps ethnic beliefs.

The world moves on, mores and customs change and need to adapt to the modern age.

That might be all that is needed to say but lets explore a little further, applying this to 'older second or more times around' couples, is not even logical. Did the late husband get a refund when his wife left him ? If not then a woman could be sold multiple times, in fact on purely commercial grounds it would be a good idea for the Father to encourage separation and then resell the daughter.

So I have objection on several counts, there may well be more

1. Outdated and questionable traditions should not be supported
2. Woman are not chattels they are independent people
3. Slavery is illegal in all civilised countries
4. I doubt that the practice was supposed to deal with second or third relationships, people died young, so people living longer there is not even a discount for time left !
5. How can you possibly put a price on love

I therefore refused to discuss the matter and I refuse to equate a failure to comply, as an insult. We never got to price but I might just ask what the OAP discount is ! After all you don't buy anything with knowing what is the cost. But buying and selling people is just not right.

Comments from readers welcomed and I hope that I have not shone a light under too many stones and insulted or embarrassed anyone, but I do stand with this blog unequivocally.

P is for Politics

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Thu, 07 Aug 2014 16:43:00 +0000

I felt the need for a change in blog, too much 'I am old and disabled' stuff perhaps, though do not rule out more in that theme if the muse summons me.

So I though a bit of politics. Now I never been terribly active, once stood for the Parish Council in Camblesforth in Yorkshire, but failed to get elected, so more recently confine myself to browsing BBC News etc.

Then I got a letter from David, yes the one who is currently PM,.......... he seemed very keen to hear from me what he ought to do in the next Parliament if he wins, I did read the letter but declined to comment. I already know who I am going to vote for as my MP and as it happens he is a Labour Man, but whilst I cannot accept what the Tory's want to do, or rather do without, Europe especially and equally would not usually vote Labour, their track record of running the country is also nothing to be proud about, I will vote Labour.

Rather than a national party, I am voting for an MP who previously represented my constituency in Broxtowe, lost out at the last election by a very narrow margin, but is standing again, Nick Palmer.

Now I have never meet Mr Palmer, but I feel I know him as he started regular bulletins distributed by email, in which he explains issues clearly and which I follow. Also whilst not being MP, he has continued to assist the people of the borough and I have formed the impression that he is the type of MP I want. That is one who believes that he actually does represent the people of his constituency and his loyalty is to them not just to the party machine. We will see if he succeeds.

The other political interest is the Scottish Independence Referendum due shortly. This is because I was brought up and went to school in Scotland from six months old until I was 17. However I cannot vote, as I was not born there and do not stay there now, unlike my sister who lives in France but was born in Scotland, who can vote.

I am unsure why I am interested, I don't believe I shall move to Scotland, though that is not impossible, but I am attracted by the idea of more devolution and Scotland is more than just an English Region. The practicalities are of course huge, but I hope the people vote so that these can then be debated with the Scots and the English and Welsh having their say. Interesting times.

Having spent a few months in the USA, and with the possibility that I could move there perhaps, I take a passing interest in their politics, which appears to be both too simple i.e. only two parties and too complex with all sorts of what we might see as Local Government posts being up for election and of course if you watch America TV programs the impression of corruption, incompetent officials etc seems to be there. But lets be thankful we are not in Russia nor even China, and definitely not in the emerging Islamic states. I have no problems with people having their beliefs but the French got it right when the Church and State were very clearly separated. Government of the People, for the People, by the People. I appreciate that those of religious beliefs would disagree but ...........

Thank you for reading, do post any comments and tell your friends and if you have suitable topics for a Musing then I may be persuaded to take it up.

MOBILITY STORY 2

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Sun, 20 Jul 2014 15:18:00 +0000

A follow up for readers of the last blog. Having gained some expertise on mobility scooters ….. the difference between Class 2 and Class 3 for example, but failing to see what makes one brand twice the price of another ….on reflection its probably about a Mercedes and a Vauxhall, more bells and whistle, bigger batteries, full leather upholstery etc etc. In any event I had to make some decisions, one, did I want to stay on the pavements and thus restricted to 4 mph or two on road which can propel at 8 mpg and has lights, indicators and mirrors. There are even all terrain models with big tyres and uprated suspension, deja vu of offroading in my Jeeps!

It then starts to get more difficult, firstly big people need bigger scooters and these tend to be 8 mph ones but these in the main cannot be dissembled to fit in a boot, so ownership of one of these implies, somewhere to park at home, if you have room in the garage, then OK, if not there is a variety of solutions, from polythene tents to mini wooden huts.

So with scooter plus structure, I could go out the door and drive off, with c 20-30 miles range. Some analytical thought however says why would I want to do this, I can get in the car and drive to the supermarket, bank etc and in the winter I think a heated Citroen is better than a cold journey maybe with ice or snow.

So maybe this is only a dry and warmish season opportunity. I really wanted something to allow mobility at the destination e.g. on holiday to cruise the prom, explore the stately homes and gardens etc and this means transporting not only myself and passengers but usual luggage and stuff plus the scooter.

I have seen as I am sure many of my dear readers have seen, especially adapted van style cars with a ramp to ensconce the scooter safely to and from points of use. After musing on that I decided that I was not prepared to trade in my car for such a vehicle, though clearly with no ability to stand or walk more than a step, it would be necessary. I can walk a short distance.

This led to a consideration as to what other aids are available and surfing the net I found various, trailers and tow bar fitting cradles. The expense has now increased by £750 plus. I did find one USA solution which combined tow bar clamp with a hydraulic platform and a set of castored wheels so the weight was on the road. Unfortunately these are not available for UK towbars which have a different fitting.

I am therefore led to the conclusion it is too expensive and of marginal utility to become an owner, even of a recon or second hand machine. But all is not lost, in many City Centres and big shopping centres there is a Mobility Aids place which lends, sometimes free or at a lowish cost, a scooter to travel around. In the case of Nottingham, they have units at both the town’s shopping centres and the linked bus stations and you are also enabled to go on pedestrianised streets. This seems the best option for the moment.

Some other shops Tesco, Asda, etc offer small in shop scooters, as does Ikea and B&Q and these are useful for that purpose. An unexpected outing to Ikea with my son in law who has had a knee operation and cannot walk and me and my other half who has had a fall (my daughter also had a less serious leg issue, any statistics to calculate the probability of 4 people and all left legs !

Any way I digress, maybe Malcolm’s Musing should be Malcolm’s Ramblings ! We decided only two of us would enter Ikea so Leon and I went in, me, with a stick, he on crutches and asked for TWO scooters. Fortunately a quiet day and not peak shopping so we went forth navigating the aisles much to the interest of ambulatory shoppers and the attention of children, I think they wanted a go.

So such aids can also be accessed but probably best for one person as most stores only have a few.

I guess if I lived in warmer climes like California or Florida etc then full time ownership would be worthwhile, or you could have a big Ram Pickup with a winch or crane !

So another diversion mentally and physically in the continuing journey.

AGE, MOBILITY and OTHER DIVERSIONS

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Fri, 27 Jun 2014 11:41:00 +0000

This time in this year seem to be a procession of milestones. Time truly seems to pass, once slowly, then quickly as events happen. This is what I call relative time…..do not worry….. no quantum physics here….. rather the subjective feeling , than the ticking clock or the turning calendar. Tsitsi turned 60 …perhaps a little reluctantly, but with an enjoyable gathering of relatives and friends. A number of new people whose connection I needing explaining several times and I am still unsure about where they fit in the Mtetwa family tree, and some old friends of hers who came to celebrate.

But now is approaching another milestone, in July, which is almost on us, I will become an official OAP. I have filled in the forms to get my State Pension. Apart from that, I am not sure it changes my status, I already am a pensioner freed from working, I already have my bus pass and free prescriptions…..In all I am expecting a low key change, I will have to tick a different box on forms asking for age, I suspect that travel insurance etc will increase, though why one day later I am a greater risk, seems to be somewhat arbitrary.

What has struck me though is that it is now 7 years since I worked properly, apart from odds and ends as described in previous blogs …. how many years to go ? and unless we start to count 70, 80, 90 and 100, a number of which are rather unlikely I feel, I am without milestones.

If I survive intact, until say 80, that is 15 years which is a significant period of time and of course it could be longer …………my birthday resolution (have I just invented a new thing !) is to try and put meaning into the declining years. I will not want to survive if my mind and body are not up to the task but as long as I can think ……………….

I also have pondered how adaptable human beings can be. Stories appear about people with great mental strength adapting, I am only suffering from mobility problems, but the ticking of the body clock has caused and will inevitably cause more need for adaptions and compromises. I was struck with that thought when I discovered the Mobility service at Nottingham’s major shopping service, rather by accident. It is a slightly complicated story but in brief, I had to take my car to a Citroen specialist in Ilkeston, about 8 miles from my home, Tsitsi had gone to work, so I was faced with getting home and then returning later to pick up the car. That is a journey almost but not quite possible by bus, as the bus from Ilkeston would leave me in Chilwell, only 2 or so miles from home but insurmountable to me on foot.

So thinking laterally and having scouring the timetables, I determined to leave the car, take a short i.e. 200 metres walk to the bus stop and then journey into Nottingham about 10 miles, I had hoped to be able to hobble slowly around a little and the retire to a cafe and then reverse the journey. It was here that happy chance intervened, I was walking, slowly, from the bus station into the Centre when I saw a Shopmobility office. Suffice it to say that after filling in paperwork and being trained on the machine, I was set free with a four wheel electric scooter and at zero cost !

I have to admit I had tried these before in USA supermarkets, but this one was different, not only could I travel round the Shopping Centre but I could exit and go down pedestrian streets and indeed normal pavements to other parts of the City Centre and the other shopping Centre at the bottom end.

What was of interest was several things, I was now unembarrassed by my use of the device, maybe I am accepting the inevitable, I was surprised that pedestrians do not think and just do U turns, or sudden stops and indeed on some occasions I was clearly invisible (I resisted the temptation to use the horn), but I made progress and was lucky with a dry and sunny day, in the rain and cold it may be a different experience.

Reflecting as I write this piece I now realise that having become a scooter user, I was reluctant to get off it. In retrospect, I could easily park up outside a shop and walk the few yards in with my stick, I will try this multiple mode transport another time. This might allow me to accompany Tsitsi on City Centre shopping trips ………… though on reflection this might create a new dynamic. Though I am sure that even with the disability, I could deploy the tactic used by men everywhere when their ladies are browsing in clothes and ……the ultimate experience to be avoided, shoe shops. “You go ahead Darling, take your time and I’ll meet you in ..(insert favourite cafe, pub etc) later”

Now I am still attempting to get the knee operation I need, that is another story, suffice it to say that The Nottingham NHS Treatment Centre complaints system totally fails to meet time limits for replying, the cynical me surmises that they hope I will get fed up and give up …………. not yet, not yet……….

But assuming I fail then should I get myself a scooter of my own ? That needs some thought, especially since that would need a new vehicle in which to transport it but would give me back the freedom to do as others do…just wander around old streets in old towns, perambulate or rather motor around stately homes, gardens etc etc. It seems an interesting intellectual exercise so watch this space dear reader…………………I feel another musing in the making.

TIME MARCHES ON ………….

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Wed, 16 Apr 2014 11:24:00 +0000

Just in case there are still readers checking dutifully to catch my musings, my apologies. I have often thought of writing an item but somehow it never got to the top of my motivation reserve. I do seem to be lacking drive and revert to simple things like eating, drinking watching TV, must be old age, my 65th birthday is in sight and I am unsure how I see that. Well I have claimed fro my OAP, happy to accept money from the government.

Anyway a brief update on life, Malcolm and the universe.

I am still in a life partnership with my special African Queen Tsitsi, she turns 60 soon and would rather stay younger. This relationship has turned out to be an essential in my life, someone to help and be helped, share similarities and recognise differences. I now realise that being old and alone must be a difficult and undesirable situation.

I have resigned from the Board and Chairmanship of Nottingham Credit Union. It is difficult with volunteers to get unanimity but our, and indeed many other Credit Unions financial position, are not improving. Not helped by the delayed and delayed Universal Credit scheme which we were ready to support tenants and landlords. Any way the bottom line was I believed that a radical approach needed to be taken and that just trying to cut costs again and make more staff redundant was to invite extinction. An alternative plan to push for growth in members and loans, revamping our image and streamlining and automating processes did not get enough support. Though I am told that my resignation email was discussed at length and broadly the points I made were supported. What seems to be lacking is courage to take a bold step with no guarantees. Any best wishes to all at NCU, maybe I will be proved wrong.

I had a new experience, following on working with The Patients Association on complaint handling in the NHS post Mid Staffs issues, I was invited to be involved in a full CQC (Care & Quality Commission) inspection of a Trust in Berkshire.

This was interesting though I did share concerns that the role of the Patients Association team (of two) was an add on not integrated into the inspection. Clearly lots of issues to consider but complaints are an indicator of other problems and given that many dissatisfied patients or relatives do not ‘want to make a fuss’. They can be a valuable signpost for further inspection and questions.

We stayed in a nice hotel, got fed well but were working long days e.g. up at 6:00am to bed at 11:30pm. Probably my semi retired self had grown used to shorter self managing timescales and age and infirmity became so much more pronounced.

The old saying ‘act your age’ comes into mind, its just difficult to accept your limitations, the mind is willing, mostly, the body not.

The ending of the funding for IT training, my giving up off roading and sold my Jeeps means I have so much more time unallocated, I still do Magistrates Duty and indeed have been able to fill some short notice gaps recently, but overall there is more time. You can only watch so much TV, so my gift subscription to Netflix has been well used.

As I pause here to collect my thoughts, seeking the inspiration for bonne mots and insightful observations, I admit I am entering a new category and the third age offers challenges but also maybe opportunities. The last few years, since I started this blog, is full of unexpected and unforeseen things so maybe the next phase will continue to be unpredictable.

I have the time for some for musings and would be happy to be inspired by readers as well as my own journeys.

65 (almost) and not out yet.

Waiting,waiting.....waiting

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Tue, 21 Jan 2014 14:12:00 +0000

Now I know the Brits are renowned for queues but I have to muse or more probably rant at the NHS.

Reading any UK papers or TV will give the impression that the NHS is near collapse, my little experience does not support this but does give thought to how patients are very clearly the second class citizens of the system.

The originators of the NHS had high ideals that all people would have free at point of use health care, so what happened ............well I guess my readers do not want a multi page academic analysis, which is just as well, but lets review a small incident that happened to me recently.

I had been diagnosed after various other treatments had failed, as having .......Droopy Eye. I like that it actually describes the problem ..........and not a touch of Latin anywhere.

The treatment involved having my eyelid cut and lifted, sounds less than pleasant .......... I am still in recovery and waiting for bruise die back but the procedure was efficient and skilled and lasted about 40 minutes under a local anasetic, no gowns, no beds, walk in and out of the theatre.

What my complaint is about is the organisation ..... I use the term loosely and with a touch of irony ......

of the administrative aspects. Appointment letter comes, saying report at 12:00 noon, seems fair, (we will not get diverted into the parking issues at the hospital) I arrive just before then, announce myself and told to take a seat, waiting area has around 12 people some patients, others relatives, friends. I wait, occasionally some one is called by a Nurse, goes somewhere else and comes back 10 minutes later and sits done again. My turn is at 1 pm and it achieves me having to remember my name and date of birth and be tagged and asked a list of questions that seem to have limited relevance to my procedure.

I must admit I see the need as patients come in all varieties and will have issues thst need recording, but I definetly sense a "cover our backs" mentality.

I sit back on the appallingly uncomfortable chairs, clearly the procurement person never tried out this when ordering, I suspect they were the lowest quote, and then get another call where another nurse, looking more senior, asks many of the questions again and countersigns numerous boxes on the forms. It as this point that I find out that surgery will start at 2 o'clock. A foreboding grips me, we had all been told to come at 12, yet nothing is to happen until after they have had their lunch. So two hours for a simple admin procedure.

Being on my own and having not been informed about the need to bring food and drink, I quietly starve and dehydrate. Of course I should of realised that two o'clock is a generic time .......... lets shorten the tale, its 3:45 pm when my turn arrives to be called, I was the last.

Anyway as I opened, the procedure was well managed, though another two people wanted reassurance that I knew who I was and what operation I was happening, before I got onto the table.

At 4: 30 I got to sit down in an empty room but with much better chairs, mine had eletric recline etc, and shortly after I got some documentation and was released, just in time for my transport to get stuck in the rush hour traffic.

So what's the issue I hear you say ...............there was clearly a list of people needing less than an hour in theatre, so why were we all told to report at one time when we could easily have been staggered at hoursly intervals ? ie I would come in at say 3, for paperwork, been done and went home, the staff would have a phased workload. It seems to me to be so obvious that I cannot see how anyone with basis planning experience would have devised the " get them all here for 12" strategy. Its like telling the builder, electrician, plumber and decorator all to come on the same time on same day, so they are there when needed ............. that of course would not happen, as these are people charging you £40 + a hour. Patients apparently do not count, ...... wait I pay taxes for the NHS.........

Musings from America 6 - Thanksgiving

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Fri, 29 Nov 2013 04:41:00 +0000

A unique American public holiday, the Last Thursday in November, 28 Nov this year, its interesting that unlike the UK where holidays get moved to the nearest Monday usually, this is celebrated on the day. A day which seems to gave an even greater significance than Christmas and is celebrated by all Americans. It comes from the event probably exaggerated over the years, when the first settlers, well the first white settlers possibly, were saved from starvation by the Native Americans by the meal of turkey. Unfortunately the courtesy and the humanity of the natives was later repaid by wholesale slaughter and theft of their lands..........is less remembered. Like most festivals the original concept has become rose-tinted over the years and it know is a celebration of "family" . Hence people trek across the country by plane and car to their family, it seems almost compulsory. Do not try and travel the days before or after unless you like delays at airports and jams and accidents on the road.

Anyway it was my first Thanksgiving and being that it is a black family I am associated with, some other cultural influences get incorporated. Turkey is still de rigeur but accompanying vegetables etc owe much to African and especially Zimbabwean cuisine, though on this occasion the worms, locusts and other exotica are missing but oxtail does appear.

The kitchen is a scene of semi organised chaos as the 'head chef' or most likely several people who all believe they are in charge, give instructions, check others efforts and generally create an atmosphere of chaos, men are sent out to get missing items quite often double ordered by various people, there is the lady of the house, but her position is complicated by the presence of the Mama, a power struggle occurs but somehow resolves itself with the added contributions of the sisters etc .....

The American black people and the author and observer, are handicapped by the fast paced exchange of views, instructions etc in Shona whilst the new baby cries, sleeps and generally moves through the day unaffected, ..............think carefully young man, it will not be so long before you join the chaos.

Those sent shopping, ring in with queries and to receive new instructions, it seems certain some of the cooks will be disappointed but that pragmatism will prevail before the meal.

An enquiry elicits the information that some more people will be there later, it is unclear whether they are having the meal, but the quantity of food seems to indicate they will, a throw away line, also predicts another batch of people in the evening .............

The TV adverts indicate that consumerism has not been ignored, sales and special deals, on the occasion known as Black Friday, start in the evening for many stores, so have dinner and about 8 pm you can start shopping. The stores that persist in staying shut on thanksgiving day, open at 6 am on the Frid, family gives way to bargain hunting and the advice is to avoid shops and malls until after the weekend at the earliest.

It is November and the sun is shining, though temperatures are low, here in Tennessee, snow is rare and brief, though further North, snow ploughs are out.

🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

Everything went a bit quiet until the shoppers returned with what seemed some substantial extra purchases, the power play for Head chef resumed ......... I maintained my status as the silent observer, until the "meal is ready, help yourselves" was announced ..........the only missing bit was that the turkey and the ham had not be owned by anyone and were still cooking .........hunger moved my status to participant and the other chefs' leapt into action. The setting the table chefs having denied that they had any responsibility apart from vegetables and the oxtail.

I am however happy to report that the meal was excellent...............

Two additional relatives, please do not ask me to identify their actual relationships, were present, we watched some American football, or football as it is called here, the other game played throughout the world being soccer. I have a vague sense of the game but still cannot fathom out the roles, moves nor rules ......... anyway some, no most of the men departed, bowling, ten pin, not lawn, being the suspect, and quietness descended for a few hours, and some cake and pie, until about 8pm a bus load arrived, some were known from previous gatherings, some attached in ways unknown to those, I think. Some greeted me as a long lost friend, but no one offered their name ..........drinks were dispensed and platters of food kept the microwave busy. The conversation levels, in Shona of course, this being the Nashville Diaspora, increased, the baby seemed to have genes attuned and was little troubled by his position, various ladies heaping attention, even when the dancing to loud music started. I, on the other hand made my apologies and retired upstairs, to write this blog and listen to some proper music from the golden ages of the sixties and seventies on my headphones ........sometimes you just have to admit to being a grumpy old unsociable man.

Musings from America 5 - Cars, Bureaucracy and Postmen

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Sat, 09 Nov 2013 17:25:00 +0000

America is truly the place of the car, OK Herr Daimler may have been the first, but the USA has embraced them fully. It may be to do with distance but virtually every family has two or more cars, you rarely see anyone walking, apart from the car to the mall.

Now I thought I knew about car models, but clearly my European perspective missed out on the brands available and even where the brand is known, there are unheard of models.

So Scion is unique as is Plymouth, Buick, Ram trucks, though they are part of Dodge who has a few UK models, Cadillac known but rarely seen in UK ...........there are Japanese and Korean, so Toyota is big, Hyundai, Honda, Nissan are commonly sighted, ........ though the latter is pronounced Neesan, .........are all present but no sign of Renault, Citroen or other individualistic marques, but Volvo is here on a small scale, BMW, Mercedes and some Jaguars and even Range Rovers.

Since Fiat bought out Dodge and Jeep there are dealers selling Fiats now, though I have not seen many on the road. Most Americans seem to be in the "big is beautiful" sector, so whilst in the UK, Toyota's big saloon, sedan in American, is the Camry, here there are larger models like the Avalon. But look at the SUV range, UK and USA has the Rav4, though the model I saw seems to be ahead of UK ones, but here there are three bigger SUVs, a Highlander around the Jeep Grand Cherokee size and two more above that.

Now I like big cars but have to admit I have met my ceiling in that regard, I have on hire a Chevy Suburban as mentioned previously and after a few weeks, I now pronounce it too big, too wide, too long, anything that can make a big Jeep or a Range Rover a standard SUV, with mid and full size above is really big, unless of course you are on the Interstate surrounded with three 18 wheeler artics, (say semi) in the pouring rain, then it seems marginally better, no idea how a Fiat 500 would feel !

This has three rows of seats and then luggage space, thankfully the parking spaces are equally wide and long.

I have however had my first and hopefully last encounter with the Police, due to a slight collision with a small Toyota Corolla, minor damage only but the police were called and turned up in about 30 minutes, with blue lights, we were off the road and safe.

Being fair I did not encounter the attitude that you see on TV and Films sometimes, and they coped with my UK licence and that I had no insurance certificate, people carry both everywhere, fine, they took details and then retreated to the patrol car for 20 minutes at least, leaving the other party and I having a pleasant conversation. Maybe I was being checked with Interpol ....... no idea but they came back and gave us a notice of the rights of citizens, you have to pay later for a full report, government agencies everywhere find ways of separating citizens from their spare cash.

I assume I am not being charged, as I never got the American Miranda caution, in the British tradition, I expressed reject but did not admit fault, though as I hit her from behind that may well count. I reported to Car hire people who were severely underwhelmed, I still have the car, but sent in an accident report.

Now that in itself is a triumph of form over function, imagine a form, barely 4 inches x 5 ( no metric stuff over here) crammed with tiny boxes to fill in detailed information, some of which was repeated in another section and unless you have tiny writing impossible.

I went UDI and typed a report covering most of the information requested, and the submitted this with my customer feedback as above.

Then the bureaucracy of Dollar Car Hire became more frustrating, you have various numbers for Customer Service, breakdown, renewal etc, I had a number for the branch but that was not answered and circulated back to the call centre. All I wanted to know was where to send this, I assumed there might be an email, wrong, I assumed the call centre would be able to advise, I guess I am not the first customer to have a prang ................but advice and helpful information was lacking and the website needs a new design and some more useful information.

As a result I printed the report, put in an envelope and posted to the Branch from which the car came. So far no reply, they are probably writing to me in the UK !

At least I got a chance to try out the US Postal Service, same queues, same one person open, the others closed ....... but at least a new experience. There are no postboxes, I believe you can give letters to the postman who comes round in his van, stopping at your post box which is on the edge of the property. No he does not get out, he delivers through his window and then drives on, so you must not park in front of someone's letter box.

Still an interesting experience and this continues, trips to Memphis and The Smokey Mountains to come, maybe a trip on a riverboat. More things to discover I am sure.

Musings from America 4 - Hospitals, Babies and health

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Wed, 30 Oct 2013 16:57:00 +0000

Now going on holiday does not usually involve hospital visits, unless you are unlucky, or in my case due to my step daughter having her first child. It is sometime ago that I was last involved, over 30 years and whilst I can recall some things, especially the overwhelming feeling which I cannot really describe, when the baby emerges from the mother. This was a new experience.

I did not repeat that particular part as the proud Father and even prouder, if that was possible, Grandmother, were there at the birth along with a doctor two midwives, two pediatric nurses and two care assistants. American health care is very good apparently.

This conclusion was reinforced when I went to visit the next day. The first impressions, maybe slightly unfair was the hospital approach where there was..........wait for it...... plenty of free parking ! UK readers will confirm that NHS hospitals make parking an income producing activity.

We walked past A&E, I was later told that this was often empty waiting for people, I am sure the local inhabitants of Nottingham sitting waiting, if there any seats that is, for an hour or so, surrounded by managed chaos, as ambulances come in and more critical or serious patients take places at the front of the queue, would be surprised.

Entering the normal entrance you first see the Security Guard, directed to the lift, known as the elevator, we then had to buzz through to maternity unit. We needed to sign in, given a wrist band, and then the reception calls the patient's room and seeks her permission to let us in.

Of course every patient has their own room, ensuite naturally, TV. I saw two rooms, we got moved, and the simplest comparision is a good level hotel room with adjustable bed and oxygen !

My partner, the grandmother, or Gogo as it is called in Shona, is a nurse and her assessment of the stress load on the nursing staff vs NHS hospitals was very clearly USA low UK high.

I know the days when hospitals had strict visiting hours are mostly now relaxed, but all day seemed to be the norm, just as well as there was a succession of relatives, friends and work colleagues appearing throughout the day and Father slept on a sofa bed overnight.

Baby, Miles Judah, if anyone asks, is home and the great expedition that is child care starts.

Of course all of this is covered by health insurance which is essential and indeed now mandatory for everyone, not much public funding here, but if you have the money or a good plan, from my limited experience USA medicine is good.

My other encounter with the system was getting an INR test done. Thus is something that I have to monitor and regulate my blood clotting by the use of warafin. Being away for several months the usual system did not apply. I was told to get tests done in USA and contact the UK hospital clinic to get the dosage altered.

This was actually quite simple, first I search goggle for testing clinics in Nashville. I find one and see the test costs $28 which is not to bad, but of course if I did need this every two weeks or so, the total cost would be more significant. Anyway I sign up on line, order a test online, pay via Paypal, get a receipt and form and the details of the clinic.

I drive to the clinic, no appointment needed, wait a short while, mainly because receptionist is AWOL, and get blood taken very competently, the computer file updated and I leave.

Two days later, I was tested on a Friday, I get an email with the results.

En passant, I reflect that the entire body of other people waiting, were there to get drug tests, I suspect court ordered or as part of some treatment regime. As a non drug user, I was in and out whilst the others still were waiting as I left.

Now came the less easy part, I thought why not email my test sheet to QMC hospital in Nottingham, they can run the calculations and email me back.............too simple, too obvious........Extensive searching revealed only one public email address for the entire Trust. I sent my results and an explanation to them, but was not convinced it would get to the right department. Remember I am on a 6 hour time difference, but on getting up at 9am here, 3pm UK, I am able to telephone before the clinic shuts at 4.

Fortunately the USA simcard I have includes free international calling to UK landlines, and I get quickly put through to a Nurse, I hear the handover, saying , "he is in America" and get my dosage instructions quickly and pleasantly. Now it needs repeating in a fortnight .........but the fact that a major Hospital Trust has not caught up with the use of email demonstrates the over conservative and bureaucratic approach of the NHS.......but solving the NHS crisis needs more time, so back to relaxing, shopping and eating, in between babies and this old man's medical issues.

Musings from America 3 - familiar but different

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Mon, 21 Oct 2013 09:01:00 +0000

I expected things in the USA to be a bit different, language for example........trash = rubbish, gas = petrol, etc but I was taken by surprise by my experience at the gas station, ...........see what I did, speaking in the vernacular already !

The vehicle I have borrowed, (they say truck) is a 5.7 litre V8 ......... economical it is not, though I cannot yet calculate consumption ....suffice to say not a lot ...........but this is compensated by the price. Now Americans complain just as the British do but without a true reason. A simple calculation

Price, depending on grade, three kinds of unleaded petrol, take the midpoint $3.30 per gallon, this is therefore $0.66 per the litre we are now using, the dollar and the pound are about 1.5, thus 41p, compare to £1.35 where it was when I last filled up in UK ...........how the Brits would celebrate if the USA price applied there !

Anyway, back to the plot. My nearest dearest and family, had gone to Church, let me come back to USA and religion another time, so I had a run into Nashville City Centre. Not over impressed, nothing adverse, just "ordinary" though it was Sunday and not so many cars or people, apart from those queuing up to park for the Titans game, they being the local pro football team, the sat nav wanting me to join the street with the queue, which I respectfully declined. The nice American lady in the Ipad did not complain.

On the way back, I saw the gauge for gas reading low, time for a fill up. First thing was to check out where the filler is, I pulled into a car park for something, every business, out of the City proper anyway, has car spaces, and located and tried out the key to unlock ....... success ...... the satisfaction was to be short lived .......... a little further on I pulled into a gas station, a bit of U turning to get the filler next to the pump, no way the hose would reach over the Nissan, ........... digression pronounced Neesan here.

So to the pump, seemed a bit old, but had the usual nozzles, and credit card slot but the display was frosted over and difficult to read. Unclear as to which way the card went in, tried all 4 possibilities, not working, tried another card, same. In hindsight I should have given up then and gone to a more modern station but I really did not want to run out, as I had no spare can and no telephone number for my hosts who were at Church anyway, so I persevered.

There was a fading notice in small print that said to pay in cash go to office first. Clearly a trust issue, imagine that happening at a Tesco or Shell etc. So to the office, explaining that my cards did not seem to work, got no response, alas I seemed to have a man of few words, or at least few words of English, my Spanish is not good enough and whilst this may be a good guess, lots of Mexicans around in this area, I then tried 'can I pay by cash'. Well yes I could but how much would I pay he asks .............. well I realise I have no idea on how big the tank is on the Neesan, apparently big, I learn later. No help from the attendant, so I go for $50, I pay he gives me a receipt and thereafter takes no interest in me.

Back to the car, unlock the doors and petrol cap again, at least I had the sense not to leave either open during my absences, trying to explain my car has been stolen was not an experience I wanted........pick up pump, inset, press handle, zero, nadda, nothing, the display says $50, replaced pump handle try again.........starting to get a little peeved. Press some buttons pretty much at random.........no gas.

Lock up again and back to the office, Mr Talkative had disappeared, three new people at counter, one lady, two men, looks of puzzlement, as I seek instructions, one man, more talkative than the others, says I will show you, again accent uncertain, but gratefully follow him back to pump, unlock again, he presses buttons, without explanation, withdraws nozzle sticks in car filler, somehow locks on the flow and leaves it dispensing and returns to the office. Not much wiser but pleased to be receiving the "make the Neesan go juice" I wait, the handle clicks, ah I think, it has fulfilled its promise of $50 worth of gas, so I take the handle out, at which point it dispenses petrol over the forecourt, my shoes and hands.

Remaining suitably calm, on the surface only, I gave in to an overwhelming desire to leave. Replace cap, replace nozzle get in and go, I resist any inclination to go back into the office and explain, I get in drive off and open windows to evaporate smell........

I have some more petrol, but looking at gauge not a lot, I decline to try again today but mentally note that I want a newer station with shiny pumps next time.

Later when I recount the incident, I am advised that American cards operate on the magnetic strip on the back and do not have the chip that EU ones have, so my cards are probably not recognised and hence I cannot enter PIN, but that not all stations require cash up front ........ a better class area is also needed in my choice for finally filling up........tomorrow is another day, another unexpected experience, the discovery of everyday USA life to be continued.

Musings from America 2 - Stranger in a strange land

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Thu, 17 Oct 2013 16:37:00 +0000

Over the next few days, I met a lot of people. First the Wedding Blessing, then the baby Shower and various visitors come to see the people from England.

One thing that struck me was the fact that I was the sole white person, its not often you get the feeling of what its like to be the minority. not that I was not made welcome, though I am not sure whether they came to see Tsisti or find out about this new person, probably both.

What we have here is a mixture of American black people, presumably descendants of the Salve Trade, but these are true Americans and do not have knowledge of Africa or its languages, together with more recent migrants, mainly from Zimbabwe and apparently all related to Tsitsi in some way.

Now I use the term 'related' with caution, as the Zims have a different use of relationships. If your Mother had you and her sister had a child, the children are not thought of as cousins as we, the Anglo Saxon do, but sisters. Throw in the inevitable situations of second wives/husbands and children of failed relationships then the complex interactions and connections are pretty incomprehensible. Most of the people I met were on the generation down stream so Tsitsi is mainly a Mama or a Gogo (Grandmother). The interesting twist is what I was called.........I guess there was some room for different attitudes to my status. Hence I have been called Malcolm, thats simple enough, Mr Malcolm which I think is a sign of respect for an older person, but I have also been Daddy, as the partner of the Mama, though the person saying this was not a direct daughter but as described above. I have also been Uncle which seems a catch all, for those who have some Aunt or Uncle type connection, apparently its means Big Uncle ................OK my head is hurting trying to sort this out, but finally the concept of in laws, father in law, step father etc seem to be totally missing.

This is not a complaint as everyone seemed pleased to see me, well at least I think so, there is always some uncertainty when the Africans start talking in Shona, a totally incomprehensible language, I looked at the grammar and gave up!

Of course the Americans are also excluded, as the Shona speakers switch seamlessly from English to Shona and back again, several times in a sentence, when there is a room full, there is never, I mean never, a pause, someone is always talking and often three or four at once.

The hospitality is tremendous and food is always being offered and the generosity of spirit is uplifting, One lady who is sister, on the loose definition, is lending me her car.........maybe I will eventually catch up, but in essence it does not matter, people are people some nice some not, guess you just live with it.

There is a saying that the UK and USA are separated by a common language. I find that I am picking up expressions already, interstate not motorway, sidewalk not pavement, gas for petrol, diesel is more rare and most cars are petrol, I am driving this V8 Nissan SVU but the price at the pumps equates to about 40p at litre or liter ! and they complain about the price, they are astonished when I tell them we pay c £7 a gallon, and am astonished that we now accept this as normal. Anyway I digress, some more words, prawns are shrimps, no matter what size and the supermarkets contain things we do not see in the UK, giant bottles of egg whites or indeed whole eggs beaten ready for scrambling, no messy shells !

I am looking forward to more exploration of our differences, such as being able to go through some red lights if no one is there, overtaking on either side and I have yet to try American fast food, clearly I should not, but I need to be able to say I have been in a Taco Bell, Dunking Donuts and Macdonalds rivals like Wendy's.

I have also been buying stuff on line some before we left and delivery here in Tennessee, others since, I have got some good bargains but sometimes they don't like UK cards and if your delivery and billing address do not match, I seem to have overcome this by using Paypal and a preloaded Dollar debit card. I am now ok on amazon.com, maybe to be expected they will sell to anyone, anywhere, but have yet to try ebay. Specialist websites are also mainly OK and there is a huge range of products not available in the UK. Tsitsi prefers the mall and the huge range of physical shops, we went through a place called Madison and I do not exaggerate in saying that every kind of shop spread out in small areas along the main road stretches for 4 miles, non stop apart from Car Dealerships, Banks, Doctors, Dentusts, vets et al. The USA is the place for shopping without a doubt. The prices are very attractive in general, ordered some boots for my son in law and he has saved £40.

Its only been a few days, but already I feel generally confident, yes I am unfamiliar with the geography but SatNav copes and I can navigate unfamiliar roads whilst driving on the right. The only problem is that there is so much to see that you can be distracted and keeping in the right lane for turns needs concentration.

All for now, but I confidently expect new stuff to emerge from the IPAD onto the blog, thanks for reading....

Musings from America 1 - the journey

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Thu, 17 Oct 2013 16:30:00 +0000

Hello and welcome, I need to apologise to any remaining followers of Malcolm's Miscellaneous Musings, for the absence which sort of crept up on me. Don't worry dear reader, I will not try and catch up in a single blog, indeed I determined to start again but reference missing events that explain things as we go along.

One thing was the start of a new relationship, now approaching 24 months, and that sets the scene for the American theme, we went to the USA to visit my partner, Tsitsi's need to go for the birth of her daughter's first baby and hence the first grandchild. I suspect this might be worth a few words in due course.

For now lets reflect on the planning and making the journey. Now I have become less and less keen on flying and on using airports, and being a big lad and with a bad knee, the thought of 9 hours in the meager space allocated was not attractive. The solution eventually was to go Business Class ....... not cheap when you pay for yourself, but having been on the outward leg Manchester to Atlanta, I will never travel in the cattle class again.

The seats, or rather the pods you get are superb, reclining seats which go all the way flat, the airline Delta, provided pillows and duvet, and you have ...... well a sort of TV but one each and you can select TV, Films, Music etc on a touch screen, saw one film, listened to some new to me music, through supplied headphones which provided high quality sound. The only downside was being interrupted by the cabin staff offering drinks, meals, snacks, hot towels. Excellent meals, high quality food ... I had fillet steak......in all 4 courses, real china and metal knives and forks. Maybe they believe that passengers in the back of the plane, Americans say 'coach', are more likely to hijack the plane if given real cutlery.

Constant supplies of bottled water and after the lunch, we had 'snacks' in the afternoon, three course snacks that is, prawns and salmon, pizza, ice cream if you really want to know.

So plane travel good, ....... airports less so, but we found a way to make that better. Now I have a heart flutter and a arthritic knee, which in combination means standing around in queues and walking through large airports, Atlanta is huge ! difficult. So following advice on the airlines web site, I sought assistance. This involved a wheelchair and pusher first from check in to complimentary business lounge, and then to the Boarding Dock and indeed right to the plane's entrance door, via security checks, I remained in chair, no taking off shoes or belts and fast lane through, highly recommended.

Atlanta was less so, again chair and handler awaiting, miles and I do not exaggerate through this very big facility, via baggage claim, to Customs and Immigration.

USA border police have no sense of humour and it pays to answer clearly and concisely, other passengers were diverted to another room ....... just like on those immigration programs on TV, we cleared after a little delay as the computer froze as he inputted Tsitsi's details. She believes God was watching over her, which was just as well, as her and my suitcases contained a number of items that might be difficult to explain, mainly African ingredients.......think freeze dried caterpillars and grain to make sudsa ..........

Perhaps to make up for our so far good progress, we ended up at arrivals front entrance to find the wheelchair and attendant could go no further and to get to the carhire pick up desks, meant a bus ride, but left us with 6 bags, some pretty big.........one feature of Business Class is allowance of two checked bags up to 32Kg each plus a take on bag each and my dearest made good use of it .........I guess we are away for two months so somewhat necessary .......... but getting that on and off a shuttle bus...."no way" as Americans say. So a taxi ride to somewhere on the extreme edge of the airport.

So picture the scene two old people surrounded by bags in a car park somewhere, no trollies.............leaving Tsitsi guarding the bags I ventured in to collect car, well actually I collected more paperwork and dispensed money produced my licence twice and then walked across a road bridge to the cars. Now I have hired in the UK and also Spain but this system was different. See office, no one in, stand around for a bit, see agent who asks what I want, says she will get the vehicle Jeep Grand Cherokee brought round .........Time passes, she returns and says take any of these pointing to a row of SVUs.

Not wanting to leave my lady with all the bags somewhere for too long, I checked out a few, brands and models with which I am unfamiliar, and choose one that seemed to have room for all the bags. I believe it was a Chevy.....

Now to drive back to where we were dropped, but now two double carriageways away, but only one missed circuit and eventually reunited, Tsitsi sat on bags on the grass, looking like a lost and abandoned soul.

Atlanta traffic notwithstanding, a reasonable journey to Nashville but second half in dark

Though I did not like the Chevy Something, very light and vague steering, seat belt at wrong height and missing the high power, bend round the bends, headlights on my left at home C6............in fact no citroens spotted then nor since.

Arrived at Nashville Navigon satnav US edition proved its worth, straight to the door.

Settled in and to bed, jet lag ok but a long day left nottingham at 6:30 now in Nashville at 22:00 local time ie four o'clock in the morning UK time.

WINTER BLUES ............... COMING EARLY THIS YEAR

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Mon, 22 Oct 2012 12:38:00 +0000

Many people suffer when the days draw in, Daylight savings changes back to GMT and the weather, though that’s pretty unpredictable in the UK, turns colder but also cloudy, wet, fog and other light reducing atmospherics and just feels, well not very nice.

Its not yet the end of October but I am already feeling depressed when you open the curtains and see fog, the trees are barer and motivation seems hard to find.

OK I don’t have any proper jobs but I do sometimes need to get up and go out, which can be challenging but actually once you are up and out can seem bearable ............though don’t get me started on traffic jams, road works, people who cannot drive, stop in stupid places, drive with iced or misted up windows etc .................I appreciate they are the same stupid drivers who you get in summertime but the greyness makes them exponentially worse.

Perhaps more challenging is the staying at home with nothing much to do ............. just look I have had to write a blog to get me going !..................of course there are things to do, just that many of them don’t appear to motivate me. Washing, Ironing, Cleaning, emptying the bins, even switching the Robot Hoover on can all seem too difficult. My rationale for some of this, is with my new partner, who is so much better, as women usually are, at that sort of domestic stuff, and whilst not the modern man approach, I can quite easily rationalise that even if I have the time, it might upset her if I do some of the domestic work and I will certainly not do to the expected standard. I have however emptied the dishwasher before blogging so I can feel a sense of achievement that I probably don’t deserve.

One additional feature of living with another after many years of self, is that she works night shifts and there are some times of incompatibility as she sleeps and I am awake but without purpose.......................just thought of another excuse re household engineering, hoovering or other noisy stuff would be inconsiderate.

The ability to rationalise yourself is quite large I find.

So is there any solution, I hear you ask .............well yes if I was rich, I would be taking my private jet to somewhere warm and sunny and spend a few months or more in my second or maybe even third or fourth home so avoiding winter, but alas I am not.

I can be indulgent and have comfort food and chocolate but I do that anyway .......I could look forward to crisp brighter days with some manageable snow but I dread that as bad knees and ice don’t mix.

I could cheer myself up by buying stuff, always a favourite, I could hope for snow so I can take the Jeep out around town where others struggle. Snow from inside 3 tons of car with four wheel drive, all terrain tyres, climate control and heated seats seems much more attractive.

There’s planning Christmas ............bah humbug (thanks Charlie), though this year promises to be different though unpredictable..........I must start thinking about presents now extended to my extended family in law for whom I have even less of an idea about what they like and dislike, some surfing time on “Christmas presents for new people” in Google seems an idea.

Maybe I need a shopping expedition to France soon (see last years blog), maybe I need a dog or a cat to keep me company .........oh no perhaps not got a woman for that now, but spending money is always attractive, oh yes got a woman to help with that as well......

Ah well no simple answers so maybe just make a sandwich and watch the telly, somewhere in 130 channels, recorded shows and on demand must be something interesting, maybe I will watch something I would not usually, keep “the little grey cells working” thanks Hercule.

Wait I feel a little better, the motivation from sitting down and creating a blog when you had no idea apart from the title seems to have worked, you dear readers may get a few more during the winter months ....................Goodbye from your scribe, for now.................summer is acoming.

THREE THEMES IN SEARCH OF AN AUTHOR

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Sat, 06 Oct 2012 15:46:00 +0000

On reflecting on what to say in my next (thats this one) blog, I got distracted and sidelined to the extent that I didn't actually put finger to keyboard......the muse has deserted me, a sober inner voice said ....of course I ignored that and carried on anyway.

Some events that have happened to me ........... maybe I can make a vaguely related blog from them

Sold Sports Car and bought People Carrier
Got a Disabled Parking badge
My Girlfriend has moved in with me

Hmm .......................searching for mental links, DO NOT TOUCH THAT MOUSE, something will appear soon.

OK here goes, I thinks its change, the common factor that is and surprisingly they all do relate to the overall purpose of my blogging, which was to muse on getting older.

I have spoken about getting old and infirm before and the change of car does sort of fit into that. In simple terms I wanted a vehicle I could get in and out of rather easier ............. so lament the glories of the open top, the wind in my hair, the admiring glances of the passer-bys waiting for buses...........but embrace less painful knee bending and actually having room for luggage. And I have a car that has a warranty after Saab had inconveniently gone bankrupt ............... I think Citroen is safe !

This links rather neatly to life changing consequences of now sharing one's home and life with a woman. I could embarrass her with various tales of me 'coping' with change eg

'where is the salt now?"
"Isn't it very hot in here ?"
"I can't find *********" (insert almost any household item)
"What do you mean you don't like Vampire and Zombie TV programs ! "
" NO I really don't like fish heads or tripe ,thank you darling"

On the upside my schedule or rut as some may prefer to call it, has been diverted, thinking for two again, after five years of sole sufficiency does require relearning. Add in some cross cultural issues, she is originally from Zimbabwe, and life gets interesting, demanding, exciting, frustrating ..... often all at the same time. But its very good having someone to share things with and we are adapting to agree our differences and work within them, but enjoying things like shopping, going out, staying in............. and sharing a cuddle etc in a new big 6ft bed.

The next challenge is Christmas, us two, her son and daughter, my daughter and son in law ...................... deciding what food(s) to have is the first decision, whatever happens it might just give some material for another blog.

That leaves the Disabled Parking Badge, I now have stopped complaining that there are so many at supermarkets etc, and have turned suspicious of others parking near me when I can't see their badge displayed prominently as required. I do really appreciate it, as it cuts down on walking and allows me to still get to places and hobble in. I also enjoy parking on Council Carparks or on street without paying and often without time limit ............. everyone should have that of course, but in the meantime until you get some disability you can just be mildly jealous.

I on the other hand rationalise that now I can get parking, I am saving the money the Council pays for free bus travel, as this has decreased.

No moral really, unless I reflect that when I started this blog, the subjects of today's epistle, would never have appeared on my list of things to write about ........................ here's to more days, weeks, months and hopefully years of change, bring it on, I can cope,

ANOTHER YEAR OLDER

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 16:38:00 +0000

Not that I need an excuse, but I have reached another milestone on the way to old age, or depending on your view of age, further into old age. I thought I would ramble a bit.

I am now 63, well strictly not until 20:30 as that was when I was born, so must really reflect quickly whilst I am still 62.

It is now 5 years since I took early retirement, oh how time flies, 4 years since my wife died and six months since I found a new relationship.

I have been elevated to Chair of the Nottingham Credit Union for the second year, guess no one else wants it. I have set up some forums, one for computing stuff for learners from the RCAN IT Champions Project and one for my off roading club. I recommend electronic communication and media to all young and old but remember that talking face to face still exists..

I have changed my car again ........ farewell Saab Convertible, ...............not much call for open top car this summer, but more so because age and a bad knee means its difficult to get down and up again from a sports car, and two people and luggage for a holiday don't fit.
What now ? I hear you ask ..........well I have a Citroen C4 Grand Picasso, more mainstream, but enough Gallic charm and idiosyncratic engineering and design to make it desirable and I now have a warranty again unlike Saab which very inconveniently went bankrupt on me.

So partly this means I am acting my age a little more ........though I still have the Jeep for the Green Lanes, but even that is now a slightly more sensible diesel rather than the 4.7 litre V8 !

Still on the motoring front, I have been granted a Blue Badge because I cannot walk far and this does prove to be very useful in getting close to supermarket entrances and being allowed to park free in Nottingham and other City Centres, age and infirmity do have some occasional pleasures.

My ........ well I struggle to describe the new person in my life, girlfriend is OK but I am not sure if a lady can be a girl at 58, lady friend sounds sort of odd and makes me feel old again, which is definitely not the point, we are not as yet at the partner or live in lover stage but who knows............ maybe that's why we have names.
Whatever she is called.........its a definite change since last birthday.

I already am now counting the days for another two years when I will get some money back from the Government (hopefully) as at 65 I get the Old Age Pension, I think I paid enough in taxes to deserve it, I just want to get to that milestone next. In the meantime I am pleased that various activities have continued and evolved and new doors occasionally open unexpectedly.

So I shall conclude this very unstructured blog with me deciding that I shall continue writing it, I shall try and enjoy whatever pleasures I can get and will try very, very hard not to be bored.

I am sure there is a notable saying or quote to be inserted here, but I cannot be bothered searching for one at the moment.
I will stick with "42".

Ironing Water and other Mysteries

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Sun, 06 May 2012 02:40:00 +0000

Who knew I needed this, not me for sure, but apparently I do. In case there are others out there whose experience and knowledge is equally limited, it is ...... well its a bottle of water .....which you use to fill up the tank on a steam iron but wait .........its good for the iron and leaves your clothes smelling fresh. Ah how have I managed until now.........

This is but one example that occurs in everyday life when you enter into a relationship with someone new who comes with her own set of learned experiences. In the same way I have introduced her to a washing up liquid called Paic Citron. This I discovered many years ago and as far as I know you only get it in French Supermarkets but I won't buy anything else ........or will I

After my "on my own time" where I made all my own decisions without consultation, it is the perhaps small but unexpected changes that strike me and I confidently expect there are more of these differences to come.

Marriage Guidance and similar experts will tell you that most couples can deal with big things but sometimes little differences are the ones that break the camels back, so to speak. (no camels have been harmed by the writing of this blog)

Other random things I am noticing include, the use of foil in preference to cling film, washing cloth not sponge, and a difference in perception as to what "clean" is, though that may be a more general man vs woman thing.

Now those of a scientific bent, will know about temperature, the arithmetical expression of describing hot, cold, warm etc. So how do you explain "its cold........., no dear its fine" I await better weather, though this being England that may be a wish rather than a certainty, to see if the same perceptions apply as to when the aircon needs to be on. Thank goodness for cars with dual zone climate control

So each week brings new perspectives, which is good, I look forward to TV and musical differences, to soap, shampoo and toothpaste, what pattern is "nice" on duvet covers, and
I await that real test of a new relationship............how do I feel when my kitchen cupboards get rearranged ?

PLUS LE CHANGE .......CE N'EST PAS LE MEME CHOIX

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 11:37:00 +0000

Forgive me for adapted the well (?) known saying, which effectively says that things change but in essence its still the same ........I beg to disagree and I will illustrate this by way of various things that have affected me in ways I never considered and some which might have significant impact in the future.

As usual I shall return to my serial musings and update any regular readers.

PEOPLE

Following on from the last entry where I related some experiences in the older person dating game............ should anyone be bothered ................I believe I have now found a lady to have a long term, well at our age, long term becomes a variable time horizon, relationship.

Ah very positive, I almost hear you murmuring supportingly, but the sheer extent of the change that this brings and might bring is potentially very significant.

Just a short list will I suggest suffice to illustrate this.

Having to consider another when making plans

Sharpening up my housekeeping

Increased my use of telephone, text communication channels, so I needed to change my plan, after many years of being on one that now no longer suited

Thinking of new things to do rather than the well worn paths that singledom allows

Adapting to someone else’s preferences in food, drink, toiletries, temperature etc etc

Looking forward, there is distinct prospects of even more change .......... living arrangements, holidays, meeting families and friends of the other etc

Please be assured that I am not thrown by this, well not much anyway, but that a settled existence is so quickly transformed to something new and different, means that change is now a reality not an abstract concept.

ECONOMICS ONE

On a wider front and connected with my work with Nottingham Credit Union, I am becoming aware that the economic situation is affecting people deeper and more significantly. The Government plan for Universal credits and in particular what is informally referred to as the ‘bedroom tax’ may affect many people. In essence people on benefits often get a Housing Benefit which essentially pays their rent to the Council, a social or private landlord.

The change is that if you rent a two bedroom flat at £x and live alone, you are likely to see your benefits cut to the level of a single bedroom flat at x minus some yet unknown percentage, but the landlords are unlikely to cut the rent and in some areas there is a very limited supply of one bed properties and hence people will be forced towards sharing accommodation. That is indeed a major change and unlike the previous section is not with a loved one but conceivably a stranger. Nice example of government decisions having large effects downstream.

ECONOMICS TWO

Lastly another economic factor, I refer to the ever increasing price of petrol and diesel. As a two car owner this makes me perhaps a little sensitive to criticism from those going down the hybrid, electric and super efficient small cars. I would like to embrace such new technologies as readers will know, but .....................maybe not just yet as it would probably mean acquiring another vehicle and that could be a step too far for my conscience and financial viability, being a poor pensioner and with costs associated with item one above to consider.

In conclusion, I reiterate the opening, change happens, things change, better to be in positively than being dragged kicking and screaming in its wake ............. but then I do like to believe I have some modicum of free will and the ability to control some aspects of my destiny, despite other evidence to the contrary....................

LOOKING FOR LURV

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 12:13:00 +0000

I hesitated before writing this entry, I am still not sure about the title, but hey here goes anyway.

The hesitation was some quite deep learned behaviour that said “don’t talk about personal things with strangers”. A brief, but soon rationalised thought, about hurting others, but the other characters will remain anonymous .............and lastly the fear that my readers will learn something about me that could affect relationships with colleagues, fellow workers etc in some way. Of course I rationalised quite easily that readers read blogs because they want to gain insights and would find it intriguing. If you are bored, disinterested and disappointed, then of course you can leave .

So onto the main plot. My last blog had me deciding I was not too old for new things and as previous entries happy chance came along for the ride.

The story unfolds thus. I was using Friends Reunited to try and trace someone from the past, I mean nearly 40 years ago and I succeeded. As a result we have made email contact and exchanged reminiscences and caught up where we are today. On the way out of the site, I saw their advert for a sister place Friends Reunited Dating..................ah you’ve guessed, I clicked.

I wrote my profile, trying to be very honest, set my criteria and pressed search...........I was astonished to find 12 pages of matches ! Of course they needed filtering etc but that in a reasonable radius of me, were so many ladies looking for ........well that's the point what are they looking for?

Shortening this phase a bit, I soon mastered the software and set other parameters eg as I am 6’4” I set my minimum height at 5’3” and then trawled through the details, picking what they call my hot list, that still came to about 18 ladies.

Now this is clearly an imperfect system, but so is meeting people in other circumstances, whilst the matching has some logic to it, I found myself using the photos as a first filter. Now as I am not an athletic Adonis, I have no right to do this, but I did pick the ones who attracted me physically. I didn’t think this was correct but hey ho.

Now this site and others of the same ilk, keep interest up by telling you when someone views you and encourages messaging. I am unsure of the protocol for this, are the woman expecting the men to make the first approach as in real life ? It seems to be so. So imagine my thoughts when someone had viewed me and sent a short message. Wow

I replied, we started to check out each other via email, by this time we had shared email addresses to avoid going through the site all the time. In a short time R and I agreed to meet, my first date in 30+ years !

Now get ready for the truth, the rituals, the anxiety, the need to consider someone else again and the short journey to .......... keep reading all will be revealed.

R and I had seemed to hit it off, no awkward silences, plenty of things is common and also things different, potentially a good mix.

Summarising ........I felt good, I wanted to continue this, R did too and we moved on to other dates, texts, emails and phone calls. The experience was invigorating and I thank her for that, we talked about pretty deep stuff as well as more usual ‘what films do you like’

Alas there is no happy ending, R decided that “I would like you as a friend, but nothing else” and it was only then that it hit me, I was really looking for more. Leave aside the arguments that men and woman are less often just friends compared to men and men and women and women which I guess I believe............... relationship and dating can have different interpretations.

I had perhaps subconsciously thought that a relationship would build, but it could not survive by being static, I did, and indeed still do, want to be also more tactile and closer, in due course, and to become central in someone else's life. Not the only person obviously, many people at this age have children and even grandchildren and other non romantic friends. Most of the ladies’ profiles referred to ‘cuddling’ maybe this is some code, who knows, but my profile now says I would like that as well !

So in short we wanted different things and unlike the days of my youth I would not carry on in the hope that minds would change, that seemed a waste of limited time. I have become a more discerning dater than when young.

We parted never to get further. Well never say never, maybe she will wake up one day and realise what she has missed ..........ah dream on young sir, we are in Mills and Boons territory there..........

This also made we think of something I had never considered, divorced people, and the majority were, have a different experience from those widowed or never married.

The divorcees, well R anyway, had been hurt before and therefore I postulate, feel free to disagree, may be more distrusting and apprehensive of where its going, than people who had also suffered a loss but not one of their making and are perhaps more optimistic.

So I had by the usual randomness, at least clarified that I wanted a more ‘deep and meaningful’ relationship without the impetuousness of youth but with a positive ‘glass half full’ attitude to later life.

I owe R a debt for awakening me and I wish her well. So I am back on the market ladies, and have sent off messages to a number of other potential matches on the original and another site ................. watch this space for an update. “It is better to travel hopefully than arrive” may be the outcome but also possibly my life can be improved with a suitable and simpatico person.

Bye for now and thanks for reading.

BARGAINS

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:17:00 +0000

At this time of the year you cannot escape the promise of 'the sale', the 'special offer', the 'BOGOFF' and any other marketing techniques designed to encourage you to spend money.

Now some people are great bargain hunters, my Mother used to shop for Christmas Cards, paper, tags, ribbon etc in January and put them away until the next Dec, she always got a good deal.

I have come to like bargains as well, not so organised as my Mother but now the Internet brings many more 'opportunities' to me daily and sometimes the promise of a special discount does tip the balance and when I sign up for something and get 40% off "today only" but then go via Quidco and get 70% cash back on the reduced price, I do feel a little smug. I would probably have purchased the service anyway, but the discounts made me grasp the nettle and decide there and then.

In hard economic times however some may find that conspicuous consummation has gone out of favour whilst others are tempted by the bargain and especially the easy ways to pay. As I have described in other entries I am Chair of the Nottingham Credit Union and we deal with a wide range of customers but some who are driven by the need to spend, " for the kids" especially at Christmas and need to borrow to pay for it, hopefully having cleared the debt from last Christmas. this is prudent for some and 'unashamed plug' we have reasonable rates.

These are however not the people to worry most about, its those who spend their credit cards to the max and face high interest rates or have to turn to the Payday loan companies, there seems to be significant increase in their advertising across all media now. Failure to manage that debt can attract interest rates in 1000's of % APR.

My wish for 2012 is that those who can manage and budget do so, (and any spare save with NCU )(www.nottinghamcu.co.uk ) and others seek to change their expectations and treat spending money not as right, but a skill.

New Year's homily over, .........next time ...well no idea yet, something will come to me. Travel hopefully in this new year.

Feeling Old in Ikea

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 13:00:00 +0000

I felt old today..... yes I know I am old, the flush of youth and middle age has passed by, but despite minor considerations, I never considered my self an old person who needs help until..........the visit to Ikea.

Now I have along with many others used Ikea's since its early days in the UK, even travelling to the first store at Warrington and I like the Swedish design and the good prices, but less so the instructions on furniture.......but we won't go there this time.

This time I only wanted two shower rubber mats, maybe that was the first sign, I felt the need for some solid material under my feet........but we, well I, digress. Parking, walking across to the Store, I decided that shower mats would be in the bathroom section ............ah you guessed they were nowhere to be seen. A bit of a wander around failed to locate the elusive articles, so I had to eventually ask an assistant. The directions took me back to the children's section, clearly my mind and/or vision were also sub optimal. I could not see any bright blue mats, ......then I had a brainwave, I would go to the warehouse area, they often have piles of stuff there, and as this was at a special price for Ikea Family customers .......I limped along hopefully.

I checked the computer for the said article and lo it came up with a location which read "Ikea Family" not the usual aisle 24 G8 type location.

Regular readers may know about my knee and the thought of a trek back was not attractive.......but wait I still had no ideas where the Ikea Family section was located. So to another assistant. Leaning convincingly on my stick I asked for help. She was charming and helpful, telephoning to check they were in stock, seeking to get someone to bring them back to me, and having failed went to fetch them herself, whilst I found a convenient chair to rest on.

So a happy ending and an example of great service, but why then did it feel that I was now in the "old and infirm who need help with their shopping" category...............and that did make me feel old, I suspect that reducing independence and need to compromise on what you do, or having to ask for help, is what really makes the reality real.

The mind is willing, the flesh is weak.

CHOCOLATE AND BREAD

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 15:23:00 +0000

Who doesn’t like these two things ? Well I was actually surprised when talking to a friend, I was explaining that I was going to France for some Beaujolais Noveau and other stuff and I said that I was going for trip over the Border into Belgium for some chocolates, to which he revealed the fact that he never eats chocolate.........I had not ever imagined that anyone was immune to the lure of fine chocolate.

I am probably verging on being a chocoholic, I suspect it goes back to my slightly deprived childhood and the post war period when chocolate was expensive and not available as easily as today.

Anyone who has read the book or seen the film ‘chocolat’ will be aware that this is based on the premise that good chocolate is an art but also has the ingredients to fix many human conditions. By the way the book is much better than the film, but I digress, there is certainly a ‘buzz’ from eating the stuff and I admit to eating chocolate when bored, tired, upset, anxious etc.

However whilst all chocolate is welcome, except perhaps bars of white chocolate, Uggh, a Kit Kat or a Cadburys flake is pleasant.......ever noticed how shape changes something, thus a finger of Kit Kat is different to chunky ones, a Twirl and a Flake are essentially similar but different folds, an Aero has different bubble sizes to a Wispa.......and it really does effect the taste.............but there is a quantum leap when you start sampling individually made chocolates. In this country Thornton's do a passable confection, go to an outlet store or otherwise seek out the mishapes, often half price,..............but still they pales into insignificance against ones from Belgium.

I probably spent too much, ..... excellence always costs, and came back with 4 kilos assorted. One for my daughter for Christmas, she seems to have inherited my chocolate gene, one for my friends at Nottingham Credit Union, and two for me.......though one has somehow got eaten already !

Clearly self control may be required, or maybe I was just in need of the magical properties, who knows.

Ah I hear you say what about Bread ?..........well I firstly thought I would muse on the niceness of fresh baked bread, french bread with cheese etc but a ham sandwich doesn’t really appear in the same league as chocolate.

Enjoy your Christmas selection boxes but if you get any fine chocolates as well, then don’t try them together, one will come out wanting......you know it makes sense !

CULTURE SHOCK

noreply@blogger.com (65 has arrived, old age pensioner !) — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 20:52:00 +0000

The same but different, familiar but strange ......... pick your own saying, what I am blogging today is a close encounter with the French personality.

Lets begin at the beginning. I had decided that it was time for a short trip to France to replenish my wine cellar, OK cupboard and fridge....as I was quite depleted and it was Beaujolais Noveau time. Yes I know that there is not the same fuss regarding this as in the past but it is a quite pleasant wine, I never have pretended to be an expert. On learning about this my daughter decided she would come too, as she was responsible for my shortness of supplies, I live in the hope that having got her own she might not raid mine so frequently.

We booked the Ferry, £58 return for car plus two, a good deal and a small, what in this country we would call a B&B, but Auberge sounds so much classier. This was situated in the hinterland behind Calais and Dunquerke towards St Omer, for those who know the area, in a small village.

The adventure started here, the fog had settled at Dover, we set off hoping the Captain had his radar and satnav in good order and arrived to quite thick gloom which increased as the sun set.

The more we got into the country and travelled along narrow roads with canals and big ditches, either side, crash barriers being obviously optional extras, the slower we went. However we made it albeit slowly and reached the right village only to be greeted by a deviation sign on the road we wanted to enter...... we deviated as requested and after some even narrower lanes, one of which was unpaved, no matter we were in the Jeep which is designed and modified for such terrain, and reached the correct ‘rue’. Expecting a sign of some kind we drove slowly up and back down this road, resorting eventually to calling into a house and seeking directions which put us back in the right direction. It seemed to be sometime after we discovered what we thought might be the Auberge. A rustic style building at the end of a farmyard.

My French isn’t great but I managed to ensure we were in the right place and the lady did indeed expect us.

There was a big room, part of which was lit and seated round the kitchen table were four people having their tea. We were shown our rooms, twice or more the space of a Campanile or similar and invited to join them for a drink. The party consisted of Madame the owner, what turned out to be a Belgium couple and another man who we never discovered who he was, he might have been Madame’s husband but not sure.

Only one spoke English and from the appearance and the name I jumped to the conclusion that she was a man, possibly a transvestite and with the other Belgium...........I was so wrong, she turned out to a’ lady and he her husband ! I blame the name, she said she was Michelle which sounds the same in French as Michel. The dog was, well a big friendly dog, he was a Belgium dog called “Edelweiss” or “edy” who seemed to like us and shedding hair everywhere.

We were offered some wine, well in fact we had unknowingly purchased a bottle, ‘pas de problem ‘ as the French say and thus started the first night of a sometimes surreal conversation.

They were all interested in us, more of which later, and we explained our mission and what we were going to buy. It was I admit a strange list. Wine of course, Cidre, Cheeses, but also a washing up liquid called Paic Citron XL, I had discovered this many years ago and have bought it on every trip to France since. This caused great amusement, why would anyone come to France to buy a common washing up liquid ?

At some pause we were asked if we wanted something to eat, given the fog etc we were not inclined to venture out again and agreed. Madame asked what would we like and pointing the the dish that they had been eating indicated that it was this or nothing. She took it away to reheat. It was very nice and accompanied by fresh French bread. We talked for a little time, explaining that we came from Nottingham, “where Robin Hood comes from,” seems to be the best description to use.

It was about nine o’clock when Madame suddenly decided to go to each of our rooms and switch the lights on and as far as I could tell, we were effectively sent to bed !after having fixed breakfast time !

We slept well, might have been the wine or just tired from the journey, and so dawned the second day.

Things always look better in the daylight and we saw the gardens where there were chickens, ducks, and peacocks. Madame brought fresh bread straight from the baker to us and what I think was yesterday’s bread for the fowl.

The unknown older gentleman appeared for coffee and brought us a photocopied map on which he identified the hypermarches in all directions, a most kindly thought.

We went forth and covered the Belgium chocolate shop near the border, two Auchun and a Carrefour as well as the CIte d’Europe. We had lunch at the Flunch, a chain of restaurants everywhere, tip - if you want a good but inexpensive meal the supermarket cafes are unbeatable.

We returned, I had bought some Belgium chocolates for them all which seemed to go down well and at seven o’clock joined the two Belgiums and Madame for dinner. Again simple fare you have what was presented but quite agreeable and some very nice cheese

The dinner and apres dinner conversations carried on, Madame was in her stride, she asked about my daughter’s marital status and when she was having babies, she asked me why I was fat, what I did etc etc. Michelle who had to translate some of this, I got bits but somethings were beyond my vocabulary, and she apologized, in English, for the French habit of asking what might be considered impolite questions.

Despite everything we did find things to talk about, Madame was great fan of Winston Churchill and General de Gaulle, and then somehow we got into the differences in language, especially of animal noises ie ducks go ‘quack’ in UK, canards go ‘coin coin’ in French. There are apparently country specific ways of saying ‘cock a doodle doo’ and the same for others, I think we did sheep, lambs, cows, horses, dogs and chickens

The rest was equally surreal and whilst I could not see it personally, it seems that everytime Madame got up and went into the kitchen the others could see her opening the fridge and swigging from a bottle. This may have explained her style of conversation. Jean-Claude the Belgium husband, who was evidently someone important as he got calls on his mobile every 15 minutes throughout the evening, we made a joke regarding when the next one would arrive.

That night we were not sent to bed but about 11:00pm we sent ourselves, in all an enjoyable and quite new experience we shall remember, anyway the moral if there is in fact one is try and fit in with your hosts and those of other countries, don’t expect France to be England with better wine, be able to speak on history, politics, philosophy etc not just whats happening in Coronation Street.

And come away with a good feeling............. onwards to Auchun for fresh stuff, before boarding the ferry and with two rooms, two nights, wine and drinks and dinners and breakfasts for only €180 !

Viv La France, Vive la difference