They say things always come in threes, and it was certainly true on Sunday.

Making dinner turned out to be a double disaster (John always cooks on Sundays). Roast beef, hassleback potatoes, carrots, gravy and pureed Brussels sprouts with butter.

Only… some idiot (John) somehow managed to get the kitchen timer in the food processor and promptly destroyed both of them, as well as making the sprouts Differently Edible.

There are just two of his monumental screw ups.

And, just before this, he and I had been out for a drive and we’d come across a pigeon in the road, injured, barely conscious and completely unable to fly.

So he got out of the car, suggested I might want to look at something more pleasant, gently picked it up and with a quick twist, he broke its neck. Neither of us is particularly sentimental about animals, but we don’t like to see them suffer.

Trouble is… either he’s stronger than he realises, or they simply don’t make dinosaurs like they used to because… its head came clean off in his hand.

I am SO glad I was looking elsewhere AND had my eyes firmly shut

So what's the point of all this?

Well, there are three points (which is rather neat, because they’re obviously coming in threes, as well):

First, it just goes to show we don’t always get it right. I bet YOU couldn’t screw up with a food processor, a kitchen timer and a pigeon quite as badly as John did.

See, from the emails I get, people like to put me and John one some kind of pedestal, as if we live perfect, faultless lives.

We don’t. We’re as human as you are, and I bet we make more mistakes and screw up more often and more profoundly than you do (this is really how Be Careful came about — we’ve made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to)

But the difference is, we know this and we accept it, so…

Secondly, it’s a lesson in laughing at yourself. Things often don’t go according to plan, and you can either piss, moan and fret about them, or you can have a laugh at your own stupidity and have some fun.

So if your beloved doesn’t quite get it quite right or you cum when you’re not supposed to, just shrug it off and have a laugh about it (better yet… when you feel you’re about to cum, just think of John pulling off the pigeon’s head, and the moment will pass, I’m sure).

Which leads me to thirdly… just have a go at things!

If you can let go of the fear of failing, then you’ll have a lot more fun in all areas of your life, not just male chastity.

First time John and I tried a chastity device (the CB 3000) it was hopeless. Since then we’ve been through several devices, a full belt and now we’re on a Lori 2C, which is about perfect for what we want right now.

First time we played with a strapon, we couldn’t do a thing, because John got tangled up in the harness, and we just cracked up laughing.

Big deal. Try, try and try again… and now it’s perhaps my favourite toy.

Sure, they’re not for everyone… but they’re an awful lot of fun (not least the pleasure of seeing how frustrating it is for your man when he’s SO close, yet SO far from having what he wants so badly).

I’ve been asked about the toy store I’ve added the blog yesterday, about why it’s so general, and, specifically, why there’s a definite absence of chastity devices.

As I did say in my email, it’s just quick dip of my toe in the water and I need to put some time into making it more aligned with chastity, and with tease and denial.

But to answer the specific question, about devices, I need to think deeply about selling anything like that, because there are devices and there are devices. In other words, some of them are simply rubbish and won’t give buyers the experience they are hoping for (I know this from personal experience).

So for the time being, I’m going to leave devices in the hands of the people who make them to order. This is probably short term, and if I can find some off-the-shelf devices which offer real value for money, then I have no objection to selling them (John is in the middle of writing a review of one, even as I write).

Other toys and playthings are much less problematical, and I’ll finish up by answering the question I’ve had dozens of times in the past few months: what happened to your strap on?

Well, it’s had a lot of use, lol.

Some readers have asked me why John would want me to fuck him with a strapon, which surprised me… because I thought it was obvious the strapon wasn’t for him at all.

Well, let me be clear: he isn’t the one who’s gets to have it used on him. He’s the one wearing it.

You see, most men love to please a woman with a vibrator, or watch her please herself with anything.

And using a strapon to please her when he’s locked and in denial is like pleasing her with her favourite toy, only on steroids.

Because he is fucking her, all bar actually being inside her — he experiences the whole thing up close and personal, so to speak, and has her body hot and sweaty straining against him.

And the frustration he feels?

Delicious!

The ones we have are very much like this:

http://www.malechastityblog.com/my-favourite-strapon

http://www.malechastityblog.com/my-favourite-harness (the D-rings make it really easy to adjust, even when you’re both going at it like the clappers).

Seriously, it’s worth having a go with this, because you have no IDEA what you’re both missing (and that’s a promise).

And remember and there’s a 15% discount on these today — just use the discount code LOCKMESARAH at the checkout.

I don’t know the original source of the image below, so I apologise in advance to the owner, but it’s doing the rounds and attribution seems impossible.

But it was simply too funny to pass up.

Here it is:

There’s also a serious point buried in here, as you might guess, knowing me as you do (and always remember, the opposite of “fun” is not “serious”; the opposite of “fun” is “solemn”, and I while I take male chastity very seriously indeed, solemn about it, I ain’t).

And that point is… these myths, perpetuated by porn are a direct parallel to the myths perpetuated by the Chastity Taliban and the idiotic fantasists you find crawling all over the forums, like dung-beetles swarming over a pile of shit (if you’re looking for a sane and sensible forum where they brook no stupidity, then try the chastity forums).

There is an argument porn has been and is harmful, which some then think is a good reason to ban it or regulate it.

Hmm. As a libertarian, I simply don’t agree with that.

Lots of things are harmful, and what consenting adults to with and to each other is no one’s business but their own.

If you’re dumb enough to watch porn and think women and men really act like that in real life and so go on to have fucked-up relationships, then more fool you; caveat emptor, as they say.

And the same can be said for chastity. I had another glorious email today from someone whose life has been changed by this blog. Not by the stuff I sell, mind, but by the stuff I give away freely (you can get my free guide, here). I find that immensely gratifying.

Here’s a snippet of what he said to me (emphasis mine):

 So far I’ve been orgasm free for six weeks.  And, per our agreement, that’s only half way.  And we’re both loving it thanks to you, which is why I finally decided to get off the dime and buy your book.  I mean, my wife has agreed to upgrade my CB to a Mature Metal “Jail-bird” cage!  All of this has come about just from following your free advice!  I can’t wait to absorb the rest!  This is all and more than I imagined it could be.

If this life-style ever goes mainstream, and I hope it does, it will be in large part, if not entirely due to your thoughtful, wonderfully written (you are a pleasure to read), no-nonsense efforts to clear away the massive distortions of at least one of the manipulative herds of ideologues that plague the net.

Thank you so much for taking the time and expending the energy to do this.  You deserve fame and fortune. ~ TM

Hmm… fame you can keep, but fortune would be nice. I could have a harem of locked slaves looking after me and my locked Hubby.

I fairly frequently get comments saying I should be more “tolerant” and “inclusive”. I shouldn’t lambast the Stupid for their lies and fantasies.

Well, fuck that. I don’t want to be inclusive. I don’t care if I drive people away. The kind of person who’ll be driven away by a brutal exposure to the reality of male chastity is not whom this blog is meant for.

It’s for men and women like the chap above, and the chap I mentioned yesterday.

As I say: male chastity just a game; a serious game, to be sure, but a game nonetheless.

I had a wonderful email yesterday. I mean, truly. It was probably the nicest and most heartwarming email I’ve ever had from anyone since I began the blog.

I won’t include it all here, because it was quite long, and I want to give it a better treatment when I get more time, as it’s got some very important lessons in it.

He begins:

“Hi Sarah, my wife and I are fairly new to the world of male chastity and we are thinking about getting your Be Careful What you Wish for book, but I was wondering if I could ask a couple of questions first because the last book we got nearly sunk the whole endeavor, please allow me to explain” ~ JG

And then he does explain. It’s no surprise she freaked, really. Suffice it to say she came across the typical nonsense that seems to go with the territory:

“She told me that she had married a man and she didn’t want to be in charge of leading our marriage, she wanted to feel taken care of. I asked her what she meant and she opened the book and showed me where it described, in detail, how to dress me as a baby, dress me in women’s clothes, and have me literally, and I do mean literally, worship her as a female goddess”

Well, after a bit of going back-and-forth, and sending him the link to my free Tease and Denial book, which he’d misplaced, he finally came back with:

“I either didn’t get the welcome email or accidentally erased it, but this is EXACTLY the kind of thing we are looking for. I just glimpsed at is as I don’t want to ruin the surprise, but you rock! I will get it to my wife ASAP. I am still going to purchase BCWYWF today, but this is a huge help! Thank you so much!”

And he did, indeed, download Be Careful — http://www.malechastityblog.com/bcwywf — a few minutes later.

I feel very moved by this, and I don’t mind admitting it.

I get a lot of complimentary emails about my work, but when it makes such a profound difference to people… well, then it’s worth all the hassle I put up with from the pink-frilly-panty wearers out there.

I just want to say what I said to JG: if you find all that sissy-stuff repellent and NOT what you are looking for… then you are NOT alone. I can promise you that and Be Careful was written with people like you in mind.

For orgasm denial to be a permanent way of life, your man has to be more than willing. In fact, to make it work as a realistic lifestyle choice, I suspect he’s got to be eager.

Orgasm Denial — Do you have the balls to make it permanent?

Let me explain why I say this.

There’s no doubt orgasm denial is a fundamental part of male chastity. For some men it’s really just about orgasm control meaning they have in their ground rules they get to orgasm, but perhaps not so frequently or so easily as before.

But for some men, it goes beyond control into actual orgasm denial — meaning, their orgasms are consciously and deliberately withheld by whomever they have handed over the decision to.

Now, on the face of it no man would want this. Orgasm denial perhaps one of those things where if you have the desire no explanation is possible, and if you don’t then no explanation is necessary. As someone put it today to me on Twitter, “I think it comes down to the fact that desire itself is pleasurable”.

And as I’ve often said, I don’t fully understand orgasm denial myself… but I don’t have to because I can simply enjoy the benefits I get from it plus enjoy the effect on and the pleasure it brings the man I love.

Orgasm denial as a way of life

We can go even deeper into this and look at men and women for whom orgasm denial is more than an occasional game, but actually a way of life. As in, for whatever reasons they have decided orgasm denial is going to be permanent.

This is where it gets a bit silly, in my opinion. Well, it gets silly in lots of places, but it gets really silly here in particular. One of the biggest misconceptions about orgasm denial is it’s somehow not consensual.

It is.

Every single time.

I get a fair few emails from men and a few comments on this blog (I don’t approve them) claiming they have somehow been forced into chastity and orgasm denial against their will. On the other side of the coin, I get emails and comments from women (who are usually men pretending to be women, if truth be told) claiming they have forced or are blackmailing their men into the same.

And it’s all a crock of shit. If a man didn’t agree to orgasm denial he could simply cut the device off. Or stick a powerful dildo up his arse and cum like that. Or forcibly take the key from his wife. Or beat her up and make her tell him where it is.

This is why ‘forced chastity’ and ‘forced orgasm denial’ are such BS.

Orgasm denial, even as a permanent way of life is a lifestyle choice which requires ongoing consent and cooperation of the man involved. Any other suggestion is B.S., no matter how loudly and stridently the Chastity Taliban claim otherwise. They are deluded at best, and outright liars at worst.

More than that for most men it also requires the ongoing consent and cooperation of the woman, too, especially if he wants her to give him the tease and denial he craves (very few men want to be locked and left; and probably even fewer want their wives fucking other men while this is all happening).

So…

Why would a man choose permanent orgasm denial?

Because if your appreciation and enjoyment of sexual activity isn’t predicated on the necessity of reaching orgasm… why not?

For many men, the pleasure of pleasing a woman, how she moves, how she looks, and how she sounds is the better part of the pleasure of sex.

For many men the pleasure of sex, the need and desire to orgasm right up to the edge is itself more pleasurable than going over the edge itself and experiencing the inevitable come-down (remember the old saying, “the journey is better than the inn”? It applies here for a great many men).

Which leads me to another comment I get a lot, and which I frankly find annoying. And that’s the “but won’t John lose hope and give up?”.

Similarly, I’ve had it said I “must” do certain things to make sure John doesn’t “cheat”.

This all misses the essential point that while it might be true if he saw orgasm as the be-all and end all… he doesn’t. So he doesn’t want to cheat. He doesn’t want to come (well, he does, but only “in the moment”, which is why when I treat him to Tease and Denial, I’ll often restrain his hands).

In other words, in terms of John’s orgasm denial it’s totally irrelevant, and the people who keep bringing it up really ought to read more of this blog and my emails and stop projecting their own feelings and desires onto others. Orgasm denial is pleasure in and of itself. Permanent orgasm denial with regular and intense tease and denial is a natural extension of this to the limit of what’s possible.

Yes, some men like to play the game of “I’m locked and I have no choice and I’ll cheat if I can”.

Fine.

Do that.

But don’t pretend chastity and orgasm denial is not just a game and expect others to take you seriously, don’t fool yourself into thinking everyone else has the same desires and sees it the same way, and don’t start trying to shoehorn your own perceptions and meaning into other people’s lives. It all just makes you look naive, ignorant and stupid.

Fact is, we’ve not made our minds up yet.

We are definitely leaning towards permanent orgasm denial, but we do have some concerns, none of which are to do with John missing out on them (it’s really more about what I’ll perhaps miss out on, but that’s another story).

This isn’t to say things will never change. As someone pointed out, forever and never are a long time. We can change our minds if one or both of us decide that’s what we want. Someone asked me a little while ago what I’d do if John changed his mind about chastity and orgasm denial, and I was somewhat perplexed.

What could I “do”?

Why would I want to “do” anything?

John and I are together because we love each other and we want to be together. It’s not predicated on male chastity and orgasm denial.

On the contrary, our deep love is what makes male chastity and orgasm denial possible and I think more people would do well to realise this and see their own relationships in a similar light.

More Orgasm Denial Posts

• Orgasm denial as a permanent way of life
• Orgasm Denial: How Long Is Long Enough?

In response to my question a few days ago, I got a huge number of answers… but this one really did stand out.

Why?

Because it probably feels to E. that she’s the only woman in the world this is happening to… but I know for a fact this is far, far more common than she thinks:

“I’m a woman dating a man who wants to be in chastity, and it seems fun to me but I think I’m doing it all wrong. I try to lock him up, but then he comes up with some excuse for why he can’t be locked up or why he should keep the key instead of me and then he takes it off and I don’t know what to do. He says he wants to force him to wear it, but I just don’t know how.” ~ EF

I do write about this in my free Guide but it’s not the main focus of the book, to be sure. It’s probably worthy of a newsletter article because many men will recognise their own behaviour in  it, I’m sure, and it will definitely help the women.

But, in brief, you’ve got here what’s commonly known as “topping from the bottom”.

Now, there’s nothing intrinsically or objectively wrong with this, because it all depends what your ground rules are. If your ground rules allow it, then fine; but if they don’t, then he’s being unfair and unless you do something to remedy the situation, it’s not going to get any better.

In fact, I’d predict it will just get worse and ultimately end in tears (it’s simply not fair for him to leave you thinking you’re doing it “wrong” when the blame apparently lies with him).

So the first thing you might want to do is stop the game and sit down and tell him what you’ve just told me. It’s not working for you, you feel put upon and it’s not fair.

And if he won’t toe the line — meaning he keeps making bullshit excuses why he can’t agree the rules with you and then stick with them, simply carry out the ultimate sanction: refuse to play the game at all.

I’m not suggesting you withdraw physical and emotional intimacy, because I think using those as a currency in a relationship is ultimately destructive, but you can simply refuse to play the chastity game.

Male chastity is hard work for us women, and it’s reasonable for us to expect our quid pro quo for the effort we put into it.

My Big Announcement is delayed until tomorrow.

Because John and I were out of town yesterday and I haven’t had time to get done what I needed to.

So, tomorrow…

And instead, then, let’s answer the simple question raised by this wistful email: “If only i could find the right woman to lock me up Miss Sarah”.

Well, putting aside the fact it’s Mrs Sarah, since I’m married, the first thing I’d do is ask what are you doing to FIND such a woman?

I’ve been over this before, and I talk about the single man and male chastity in Why He Wants You to Say No — but if you’re single and male chastity is important to you, then it makes perfect sense to have it on your “shopping list” when you go searching for a partner.

It’s no secret at all that John and I met online, and while he didn’t have male chastity on his list, he had a lot of other things on it.

Now, I know a lot of people misconstrue my message here and quite rightly point out that basing a relationship on a kink or fetish isn’t a good idea.

But that’s not what I’m saying.

What I am actually saying is it makes perfect sense to have an interest in or a willingness to try male chastity as a necessary but not by itself sufficient criterion in your partner.

Sure, this narrows down the field considerably, and it maybe also narrows down the places you can hope to find someone (but I don’t think that’s necessarily true. The steps I discuss in detail in Why He Wants You to Say No will work just as well with a new relationship as with an existing one).

Furthermore, because it’s not something very many women are interested in or even aware of until their man suggests it to them, it’s likely you’re going to have to put some work into planning exactly how to broach the subject with someone before you become emotionally entangled.

It’s all fairly simple, but not necessarily easy, I’ll grant you. In other words, you have your work cut out for you.

But it’s not impossible and the courage and self-discipline required to do it will considerably strengthen your backbone, I’m sure.

And I really do think it would be worth it — because in the long run it will be much less emotionally draining and ultimately more successful for more people than getting into the relationship first and then seeking to “convert” her with dropped hints and then an outright confession.

Don’t get me wrong — this can and does work. It worked for John and me.

But I suspect the other way is both easier and more likely to succeed, long term.

Avery long and heartfelt message from a reader today.

i have a lady that i love very much and have loved for 13 years i intro­duced the chastity tube i bought the cb6k for longer then a one day usage. when we make love i try and tell her her that she comes first and that the device would only ben­e­fit her in the long run.

I sent her arti­cles of games that we can play with it and all the fun that can be had for her while i wear it. but she just mock and wants noth­ing to do with it. i freely give up the keys and fine it erotic and amaz­ing when she does play with it. how­ever, after two days she throws the keys too me with no games involved and says take it off.

i am truly at a loss here i have done what i can and am about to throw the device in the trash. if you cant play with it then what good it is hav­ing it around. i really want to have the fun and to make her happy and if she is not happy about the whole thing it will get rid of it. i even pro­posed to put it on and put the keys in the lock box that i bought just for it and then she would not have to worry about it.

her par­ents are vis­it­ing so i know there will be nothig while they are here so i pro­posed to put it on while they were vis­it­ing no wor­ries on her part. she denied me that pleasure.

am i miiss­ing some­thing or am i com­inh abouy it the wrong way. my pre­vi­ous thought that a woman would love to have that kind of con­trol. sex on her terms not mine and her plea­sure not mine till she allowed it.

we play some­times for two days but its not play­ing its more like she is just let­ting me wear it because she knows i like it. it has never made it two days and to be hon­est that is when the fun really starts. i was going to try and go five (thats how long the par­tents are vis­it­ing) but she said she didnt want me to do it. i love and respect her enough to honor her wish.

should i be a dick so she wants me locked up or should i try some­thing different.if not i will be throw­ing it in the trash its not worth keep­ing it if i am not going ro have fun with it snf motr impor­tantly if she isnt. thank you for lis­ten­ing any com­ments email me ~ JF

Well, ultimately if she won’t play, then she won’t play and there are some things we, each of us, simply won’t do no matter how hard people try to get us to do them.

For whatever reason they conflict with the values we hold dear.

That’s a worst-case scenario but it’s one you have to be aware might be the result of all your efforts, no matter what you do. If that’s the case, then you need to decide what you want more: her, or chastity. I’m not making light of this, because you’d be amazed just how badly some men crave it. I don’t judge them, because we’re all entitled to be happy and to ask for what we want.

Without knowing the intimate details of your life and relationship (and I don’t want to know them — I am not a therapist) it’s hard to say, but it seems to me you’re being a little pushy about this. It’s all very one-sided and seems to be you telling her what you want.

What’s in it for her?

What would she want out of it if she stopped long enough to listen to you?

I haven’t heard her side of things and it’s likely she has a very different view of how you’re approaching it from yours.

If I was in your place, I’d go back to square one and arrange some time to have a serious talk about your lives together. I wouldn’t even mention male chastity at first.

Why?

Because my feeling is if a woman or a man is this resolute and obstinate about something like this, then there’s usually some deeper problem in the relationship.

Men and women who are happy and comfortable with themselves and together in their sexual relationships tend to be more indulgent and willing to experiment for the sake of their mate, even if what’s suggested isn’t immediately appealing.

Sadly straight-talk about sex between adults is woefully rare and exceedingly difficult for most.

The only suggestion I have on this, save for getting some counselling for you both is to read my free Guide and follow the steps. If you want more in-depth material there’s always Be Careful itself, but I really don’t think that’s for you at this stage. It seems to me you have underlying issues to sort out first.

Being a dick won’t help. Male chastity is a game, and you don’t get people to play games with you by annoying them.

I’m sorry I can’t be much more help than that.

Sometimes, I get people message me and moan about some of the emails I send, saying I should be more thoughtful, accommodating and “respectful”.

Well, maybe.

But, then, I guess they, unlike me, don’t have to put up with messages like this from people, even when I’ve made it perfectly clear I don’t want them (nor the explicit photographs often attached, as one was in this case):

“hi sarah i am bi and i am 1 of the cross dress sissy male  i have tryed for months to get my girl lock up my cock take lovers and make me submit to alfa males in front of her  we  have got a cock cage and i love it it keeps my cock small and looks hot standing with my heels on i look forward to becoming a bitch  and i like telling you about  all of this because its humiliating and emaskulating. P”

There are so many things wrong with this, I don’t know where to begin (beginning with his being illiterate).

My reaction has been simply to email him back with just two words (“Fuck off”, in case you were wondering), and to unsubscribe him from my list, block him from subscribing again and, indeed, blocking the unpleasant little shit from emailing me again. How rude, emailing someone something objectionable simply because you “like” telling them about it and the feelings it brings out in you.

And then, today, I get another one from someone else:

“I think u are very very excited and wet when u think about chastising john permanently. I think now u should start feminizing him completely, with hormones, and maybe even surgery, since he will never function as a man ever again, and u should be his mistress dominatrix. Then u can find a hot bf, and also a hot gf. U will cuckold him. I am hoping that john will then be your lesbian lover. I also hope that u will become completely lesbian permanently. D”

Just when you thought you’d plumbed the depths of Stupid, some enterprising moron oozes out of the slime to take the standard even lower. It really is quite beyond the pale.

I even had someone message me today and imply my not giving equal time to homosexual male chastity could be construed as my being “homophobic”.

WTF?

This is obviously someone who has read nothing I’ve said about my libertarian outlook on life.

What planet are these cretins on?

So, maybe now you understand why I get a bit tetchy from time to time.

Truth is, I’m not looking to please everyone or be anyone’s New Best Friend.

I’m not in the least bit interested in trying to be all things to all men and women.

I have one, simple message to give about male chastity. My blog is not a democracy where everyone gets a vote. Nor do I hold to the stupid relativist view that all ideas have equal merit and somehow deserve “respect” and if it’s “true for you, it’s true for you”.

Some things really are just too objectively stupid for words — like the Biblical account of Creation, forced chastity, inescapable chastity belts and female superiority.

Bottom line: if you don’t like my style, attitude or way of doing things around here, then there are dozens, perhaps hundreds of other places you can go for your fix of fantasy. Or, better yet, start your own little corner of the Internet.

But whatever you do… please do not send me these dumb messages. The Stupid is more than my poor heart can bear.

Orgasm denial… when a man hasn’t had an orgasm for a while…

… and he’s been giving his partner plenty of her own…

… and she’s been taking him to the edge over and over again, sometimes for as many as 31 nights on the trot (which is something John starts today — 31 days straight of tease and orgasm denial with no ruined orgasm to relieve the pressure)…

… there’s no doubt he’s love to come.

I think we can all agree on that one.

But, does this mean he’ll plot, scheme, whine and wheedle his way into getting one?

And…

… it depends.

Orgasm Denial - The Dynamics

See, each couple has a different set of rules they’ve agreed to.

For some of them, most notably those with a bias towards D&S or where sex is used as a currency in the relationship, it’s possible for the man to “earn” an orgasm as a reward; or, as I said, to trick and wheedle his way into one. Or even “cheat”, perhaps.

For others the pleasure comes from the orgasm denial and the teasing in and of itself, not from the fantasy surrounding it.

We, John and I, as you should be able to work out for yourself, fall into the latter group.

Alas, the hard of thinking seem blind to the existence of this second group entirely and insist everyone is in the first group, even if they don’t know it themselves. It’s just the willful ignorance of the zealot, so don’t let it trouble you.It’s like any other religion, really: purports to explain everything, and in doing so explains nothing.

I had a message through the blog yesterday, too long and inane to reproduce here.

It was clearly, to my mind, from a man pretending to be a woman, replete with phrases like

“I no longer have any fascination or interest for his penis whatsoever, and if it were never used again… well that would not bother me at all”

“I’m afraid that I would insist on completely permanent chastity… I would make it quite clear to him that NO orgasms would ever be possible for him again”

and

“I just don’t see any reason to base our love on the use of an organ that as far as I’m concerned has now outlived its usefullness”.

And even if I’m wrong and it is a woman — and I could be, I freely admit — she has entirely missed the point of male chastity and orgasm denial as John and I practice and enjoy it.

Apart from anything else it’s just stupid to the extreme. I mean, “I would make it quite clear to him that NO orgasms would ever be possible for him again”.

Really?

And just how is that going to work?

No one with a brain would actually ever think that was possible; I suspect only someone with the fantasy — a man — would even think to write it.

Orgasm Denial Has to be Consensual

Orgasm Denial — Pleasure in and of Itself

I mean just how does this fool think it’s possible to make an orgasm impossible? Fucking idiot.

Male chastity and orgasm denial for me and John is about the experience and the pleasure we both get from it.

For me it means far more emotional and physical intimacy, and a lot of fun and laughter, too.

For John, while I don’t presume to speak for him, it seems to be the extreme physical pleasure of denial plus the feeling of being constantly half-way to orgasm. And, of course, there’s the pleasure he gets from pleasing his partner, which I’m sure any man will be able to resonate with.

And this, of course, is why permanent orgasm denial is not the big deal it might be to some, with their insistence that it will make him lose  hope and interest. If you think that, you simply haven’t been paying attention.

Everything I write is really for people in the second group — those for whom the pleasure comes from the orgasm denial and the teasing in and of itself, not from the fantasy surrounding it.

If your fantasy is a D&S one, then while you will probably get something from it, it’s not really aimed at you. Orgasm denial can be, and is for many couples, fun in and of itself, without the need for an elaborate fantasy around it.