MaleProperty

How to use a slave as a sponge

2013-07-21T02:30:00.001+01:00

Some may find the following video educational, all 21 minutes of it ;)

Brutal Tops Session 89

The death of a fetish website

2012-11-18T20:50:00.000+00:00

Short link: j.mp/site-death

I interrupt this blog to bring bad news. Most of us today follow our inclinations into kink, fetish, bdsm by joining fetish-based websites. There are a small number of decent ones to choose from, and those who join might overall say such sites play an important role.

However, some sites lose their way. In addition to all the technical problems of updating the sites to meet the mobile needs of members, there is the daft and largely emotional moderation of some of these sites that would leave you wondering if the site was run not by someone who understands the needs of its bdsm community, but by a kindergarten teacher.

One kink site has done nothing but deteriorate for many months now. They'll say their membership has risen (compared to two and three years ago this is definitely not true), but it's not the numbers that join which counts anyway, it's the number that stay and become active members. On that score this particular site is a dead squib. It's in trouble.

But it's not in trouble because its active numbers are falling: it's in trouble because it's utterly hopeless in reversing that trend, and it's utterly hopeless because the person running it just can't see what everyone else can see:

It has no idea how to moderate the vast spectrum of opinion of its members.

So hopeless is this moderation that it is now the leading cause of the site's death! In the medical profession they have a term for it: auto-immune disease.

The good news is the solution to auto-immune disease for a website owner is a lot simpler than for a doctor but more of that later.

Let's be clear, this is not an ad hominem attack: the site owner is a really nice person. He means well. He's the complete antithesis of site owners who run much larger sites, who are mostly driven by greed and ambition. He deserves to do well, but, alas, if he can't see what is now killing his own site he lacks what can only be good business sense.

This is not to say the moderation is wrong all the time, but even to be wrong some of the time can have a lasting damaging effect, and this style of moderation has been wrong for too long.

You see, this site has a range of technical limitations, basically it's dated. As I've already mentioned it's not mobile-ready, but it has another problem: It is topic based without any great ability to filter that content.

On all such sites there will always be people who want to post off-topic threads to talk about something other than kink with their kink community. This is normal behaviour exhibited in most communities and is crucial to interaction and growth, it's part of the "messiness of life". On most sites such content is somewhere at the bottom of the page, separated from the main purpose of the site, but on this site, it is in with all the kink, often drowning the kink out.

The problem for the fetish site in question is that without being able to separate kink from non-kink, it's a downward spiral for the majority who want to talk about kink, it's a case of diminishing returns. Non-kink posts bring out the worst kind of arguments, and the moderator's miscalculation is to remove those engaged in the arguments. However, this has the effect of taking out the site's problems on its members, and that serves no one:

Many of the people who contribute to non-kink arguments are also prolific posters of kink, and such people do not grow on trees.

You might want to use the troll defence around about now and sure, people should be respectful of others wherever possible but debates about facts and strongly held opinions will always invariably get heated. There are those who feed on such sites as they get a kick out of being destructive, and we commonly call such people trolls. But not everyone who is strident in their debating skills is a troll.

We then have to factor in that the mode of moderation used is almost entirely arbitrary. This more than anything creates a culture of fear. People get deleted with no warning and no explanation. There are no posting guidelines and none are reiterated or explained. With such moderation incompetence, what do they expect from their membership but anarchy? Are they new at this?

To take their own failings out on their membership is a megalomaniac approach to business, which doesn't just create fear but patronises all who remain. Neither result in an increase in revenue, but it is a textbook example of how not to run a community-based website.

The method of moderation used now is no different to the destructive behaviour of the previous owner, only, active logins then were some 500 users, now it's lucky to hit 250. That is catastrophic. The site was actually doing better under the previous ownership.

People might say "it's their site, if they want to fuck it up let them". What a cop out that is: Of course it's their site, but it's our community that it claims to serve. It's about time they put aside their childish egos and started doing just that.

Even small fetish sites are important to the community and it is this miscalculation of method and style of moderation that is standing in the way of its success.

Of course moderators are only human; they get fed up, they get tired, they get angry, they get defensive. But you have to be more than only human to be a good moderator.

For these reasons the current moderation is wrong for the site and wrong for the community. So as the Tories once said to Maggie: Time to resign, bitch ;)

(ok if that's too dramatic for even a highly emotional form of moderation then please for the sake of the future of the site, massively turn around the current childish reactive style of moderation and do something about the lack of kink/non-kink filters. Mr Jefferson, build up that wall!)

Addendum: For those still on the site, don't be fooled by explanations such as "We gave repeated warnings to those deleted" or any smears. No warnings and no explanations have been given. It has been a simple "I'm pissed off. I'm emotional. I have all the power. Delete Dion!"

Now you tell me this: Is a site being run like that worth investing time, energy and money in? It could be you next...

UPDATE:
Now the dying site's method of moderation is proving my point exactly, it has descended into childish defensiveness. I posted this on my blog because I'm not a coward who hides behind a login wall and I care about the community's need for more sites enough to no longer hold my silence to the fact that its arbitrary megalomaniac method of moderation is what's killing the site: it is blaming the site's problems and limitations on its members!

Seeing this as free advertising instead of learning from it is the kind of childish and defensive behaviour I would expect from someone simply not right for the role. Besides, that site's internal fiasco is now driving traffic to this blog, not the other way round.

So my point stands: For those responsible for the site's moderation, if you care about the site and the wide bdsm community, do the owner and the community a favour and resign. There's no shame in it. It's just not right for you and you are not right for it.

Now I would have been happy to have this discussion on the dying site in question, but they were too cowardly to let me stay long enough...

As the site in question descends further you're probably wondering what else the BDSM online community has to offer. The following sites are not perfect, but at least their styles of moderation will treat you with some dignity, where there are adults running the show. They include:

ClubCollared
Straypup
Recon
CollarMe
Houseboy
Fetlife
and even GayRomeo has a whole BDSM section (some dirty European bastards out there :p)

Question: How would you describe the effects of real live-in ownership on identity?

2012-11-13T02:25:00.001+00:00

Are there any overriding feelings that come to the surface about your lowly status or is it just one big undecipherable blur, and how do you manage whatever self-realisation your owned status renders you?

Short link: j.mp/mp-identity

From my experience of real live-in ownership, i would say that i get a range of feelings of my lowly self, and it's certainly not often a blur. This is good news because while it's a blur it's very hard to communicate to others.

Only parts of it - which luckily are quite demanding and lenghty parts of it - make me feel like a slave. For instance, when i'm doing all the chores and carrying all the shopping like a donkey while my Owner has His feet up (sometimes even wearing a onesie :p) oblivious to the constant servitude going on around Him, once this becomes daily practice, i get a real sense that i'm the slave to the person sitting on the couch who is reaping the benefits of my labour.

But then when i'm out at work, working for another 'Master', a.k.a. an employer, the feeling of slave is less apparent, or might even shift somewhat to my employer :D This is why some Owners, if they can, would prefer their slave to work from home or work for the Owner, or only work part-time - and i've certainly done all three.

Within these feelings of slave are shades of servant, lackey, footstool, houseboy, cleaner and all the other uses and functions slaves perform. My identity, my self-realisation becomes whatever chore i'm doing at the time. To some extent i realise that becoming the chore or identifying as being one with it or however you choose to phrase it helps me get through it especially when i have no other strength. It's worth bearing in mind that this question deals with live-in ownership and for me that has meant having no choice but to perform these chores: i was usually naked with no clothes of my own, no money and nowhere else to go and there were always consequences for non-compliance.

In addition to this, previous Owners, as a way of cutting down on commands, would often just name me after the specific chore they wanted at the time reinforcing that i am whatever service i provide my Owner at the time. i am defined by whatever use i can provide others.

These slavish feelings are chore-based that's for sure and many such chores can become automatic to such an extent that i feel as if i've been programmed to perform them almost like a robot or android, and i can feel an inner pressure to serve my Owner as best i can - my aim is to perform these chores with Borg compliance.

Then there are more affectionate and communicative times between Owner and property where i realise i'm being treated more like a pet, akin to a dog, for instance. These times would often involve being on a leash to emphasise my pet/dog/animal identity and status, but i realise that it isn't initiated or eminating from my ego or sense of self; this is another reactive responsive state dictated to me and imposed on me by the whims of my Owner and i must follow protocol, perform my duty and comply with my Owner's wishes. I realise the only way to manage this is to keep my Owner happy.

I've chatted to quite a few submissives seeking Total Power Exchange ownership and they all seem to phrase it as a need to have someone else make decisions and choices for them. Although that's exactly what i feel as well, i don't think it's the whole story. i think we seek being owned because we want to do away with our identity as it currently is and have it redefined and remoulded for us by another. It's not so much self-loathing or worthlessness, but the self-realisation of being ineffective when governing ourselves.

Being owned changes all that: My identity goes from something i'm ineffective at changing myself to something fluid and flexible and changeable, and this is proved to me when my Owner, purely out of whim, dictates what my identity is to be at any particular moment in time.

And what does the Owner get out of this? My Owner attains the greatest power of all over me: He has taken over my identity and can freely exercise His power to create and recreate, to define and redefine, to mould and remould me. He can do away with whatever aspects He doesn't like or want and replace it with something else, He can replace it with Himself. He gets to implant Himself in those He owns and propagate Himself through them. He has attained a form of reproduction that involves conquering and engendering what was already born to serve Him. The more power He has over me, the more i seek to worship Him; My Owner is now GOD and it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. A yearning for His changes and command sets in and i realise more than ever that i love my Owner and i need Him.

There are other feelings that stem from other functions such as companion and Man's best friend. However, if i had to choose one overriding feeling, an analogy for the realisation that is always present from the moment the live-in ownership begins, simply because i am a Man's property regardless of where i am or what i'm doing at the time, i would say the overriding feeling is of a prisoner. Prisoners are not slaves and they're not pets, but at all times they follow a strict routine, they're told what to wear, what and when to eat, where and when to sleep. If they're allowed out on day release they have strict curfews, no go areas and tagging/tracking devices. Every moment of some prisoners' lives is micromanaged, decided for them, dictated in such a way as to leave them powerless and 'identity-less', a mere number.

Real prisoners are reduced to such identity-less status because their identity is so awful or damaging or threatening to the society that imprisons them (among all the other reasons).

Perhaps there is a property version of this: perhaps property is so pathetic or useless or hopeless or directionless on its own that it is fair, right and just that a property Owner take it captive and put it to good use, and perhaps, therefore, Owners are providing society with a similar service to a prison service, and should, therefore, be allowed to own another as Their property by legal right.

And of course, as in a real prison, real property is not free to leave. That might frighten beginners - i still find it an awesome scary consequence - but in my experience and from what i hear from others owned long-term, the more successful the Owner's supplanting of Their property's ego, identity, freedom and choices with His own, the more remote thoughts of independence become. One reinforces the other.

If you have any questions about becoming or owning property, you can ask me here:
http://www.formspring.me/maleproperty

A property's fate: 10 years ago today

2012-10-25T04:24:00.000+01:00

This post is about where it all started. Only I didn't realise for quite a few years that this is in fact where it started. I used to think my natural journey into property was when i served my first Dom (about 7 years ago), who noticed how "naturally submissive and obedient" i was and that maybe i should consider becoming a sub or even a slave long term.

No, that's not where it started. It didn't really manifest itself in my childhood either, although it was there in my mind and in some of my friendships.

It started exactly 10 years ago today when i met my first serious boyfriend and entered into my first adult relationship. We've all been there: our first love where one of us makes the faux pas, usually during sex, of saying "I love you" even though you only met last week or even that day. He made that faux pas, even bought me teddy bears, flowers, chocolates and wrote love poems in cards. You've guessed it, he was French.

Being British i didn't respond with the same mushy langage d'amour: The words that came out my mouth in the heat of passion were quite different. They were: "You own me. I'm yours".

This is my first serious adult relationship and before even having the words Dom and sub and Master and slave and Owner and property in my vocabulary i'm handing over ownership. I may have known being a student then that there was a seedy underworld out there and it would often collect in dark haunts called "bdsm clubs", but it never occurred to me that someone as classy, prim, proper, preppy and sporty as me i was one of 'em :p

So here i am in bed with this gorgeous tall French boyfriend of mine who is crazy about me and instead of prematurely spitting out the forbidden "love you" phrase, i hand myself over to him as his property.

He doesn't run a mile. He doesn't actually say anything. We cuddle, kiss, he fucks me again, he tells me he's never loved anyone anywhere near as much as he loves me and then...

He bends my arm behind my back till I'm screaming in pain. I ask him "What are you doing? Stop it, you're hurting me" and he replies: "You said I own you, right? That means you're my property and I can do whatever I like to you".

And that's where it all started. I stayed with him a further year and the pattern was pretty regular: he'd be all romantic, shower me with gifts, tell me how much he loved me, we'd make love and it was really passionate sex, and then he would beat me.

The more it went on, the more it drew me to him; the more i loved him and wanted to remain loyal. Clearly not something compatible with today's relationship standards.

Years went by and i always felt it was wrong. Even when i was in abusive ownerships with Masters where the abuse felt right, i would still think back to my first boyfriend and think his abuse was wrong because i wasn't property then and he wasn't an Owner. We'd never discussed it or agreed it. What a difference an agreement makes.

But I no longer feel that ambivalent anymore. That is where it all started and it no longer feels wrong.

When I was a young kid, the song Your Love Is Bad For Me was one of my favourite songs - only i never really understood it until much later. See if you can work out how apropos it is:

"But don't you know you always hurt the one you love, and though it's torture, baby, I can't get enough."

Story of our lives, huh? :D

Question: Do you really mean `owned'?

2012-07-15T08:08:00.001+01:00

Surely that implies no limits, no rights. Is that what you seek? I mean, if a master decided to brand or castrate you, are you OK with that?

Ownership may well imply all of that and more but it doesn't have to mean those things. There's a saying "two people, three opinions". Words mean different things to different people. That aside, partly what I try to convey on this blog is a more practical approach to making ownership a reality, and one of those practicalities is to recognise, appreciate and work with rather than against the fact that slaves have a survival instinct. No limits and no rights will most likely conflict with our survival instinct at some point.

Ownership of a slave is comparable often to ownership of a dog: a dog wants and likes to be owned and can also be trained to be obedient, but a dog very often doesn't want to be harmed or damaged in the process. Slaves are much the same often.

I remember a Master once crying to me how He couldn't find a real slave and when He told me what He wanted to do to a slave it wasn't difficult to see why so many were repulsed rather than attracted.

You may very well get drunk on power but as most alcoholics will tell you, if you go too far with it you end up alone with nothing but an empty bottle for comfort.

As for branding and castration or any other particular activity or modification, what should always be uppermost in our minds is the health of the property and the long-term effects of whatever is done. Some things are more dangerous/damaging than others. With some things it's not easy to see the effects straight away because the damage is slow and accumulative (e.g. castration and breath control)

A slave may often only be able to rely on his own survival instinct as a guide, but it is a good measure of an Owner to see if He can make that distinction. It's shocking how many can't and often no surprise how many are consequently slaveless.

If a self-destructive slave is what You're after then there are plenty of them about, but i suspect there's a lot more going on with them than just the burning need to be Your property so ask Yourself, do You really want the extra baggage?

Thanks for the question :)

Do you have a question about ownership and slavery? You can ask me it anonymously here:

http://www.formspring.me/maleproperty

Question: slave, what do you get out of it?

2012-04-10T01:17:00.000+01:00

We get to give up our freedom and a stack of rights to be owned, to be treated as nothing more than a Man's property. We get to be used.

At an advanced level it means having decisions and choices made for us. It means coming second or third or last or not at all. It means having few if any opinions that are often irrelevant anyway. Maybe what we want or think will be taken into account, but there's no guarantee, no right to such. We accept that our Owner(s) might treat us well and fairly or He or They might not.

We become in effect a different breed of person, a low level of existence ideal for unflinching servitude, a level that we can only reach long-term through being owned.

Once we realise we need to live like this, that we need to be treated like this, we start to embrace it and we start to become loyal, committed and devoted to our Owner(s).

Tasks and treatment that were once degrading start to define us.

If this is how we find happiness and our Owner equally finds happiness through owning and controlling and getting what He wants out of us, then the equation balances and there's no internal reason why it shouldn't be a great life together as Owner and property.

Do you have a question about ownership and slavery? You can ask me it anonymously here:
http://www.formspring.me/maleproperty

Note the question should be about ownership and slavery, not fluffy rabbits and unicorns (unless they're dom too :p)

A Master-slave song I translated

2012-03-08T03:55:00.000+00:00

And for some reason it's more popular with subs than with Doms ;)

Why i want to be owned as a Man's property

2011-12-28T04:40:00.000+00:00

Link: http://j.mp/2bowned

I exist to serve all a Man's base needs and desires. My brain is wired such that I believe a Dominant Man shouldn't have to do anything menial, mundane, boring or degrading. A Dominant Man simply shouldn't have to do anything below His status. But why am i wired this way?

I believe a Dominant Man is on this Earth for a different reason to me. He is a god and a leader among Men, born to rule and to enjoy life, and therefore He has loftier and more important matters in life to focus on. He is superior and by this i mean He is more deserving of the good things in life. The world is His oyster and He is Master of His own destiny and so His life should be as He dictates, free from any shackles, be they mundane repetitive tasks and chores, or negotiation and compromise.

This planet belongs to its Masters and They shouldn't have to waste a second or miss out on all that this planet has to offer Them. One thing that this planet offers Dominant Men to aid Them in Their enjoyment of it is lowly devoted servants willing to do everything possible to ensure the Dominant Men of this world are free from anything that takes Them away from Their own pleasure and goals.

It is, therefore, my belief that my being owned and enslaved by a Dominant Man is merely a function of nature itself: i was simply created this way to be used by Dominant Men for whatever goals and pleasures They desire on this planet. This planet is not mine to enjoy: I am a part of it so that Dominant Men may enjoy it. My charge is to be always on my Owner's side using all my skills and abilities for His benefit.

Although i lack a dominant nature, i do understand subconsciously that it is a Dominant Man's birthright to own human property and this is a selfish desire born in Him to ensure that He gets the best out of life and this can only be fully realised and quenched by the unflinching selfless service and sacrifice of completely devoted Male property.

It's only through ownership and control that the right Dom/sub balance can be struck in order to reach this intense level. It can't happen to this intensity and frequency if it's just on the occasional weekend, full of the usual delays and cancellations. It has to be constant and uninterrupted. It has to be at arm's reach and at the press of a button.

The Dominant Man and His property therefore have to go through a process where each obstacle that stands in the way of the Owner conquering and taking over the life of His property is removed. Once all the obstacles are removed all that remains is a life of devoted servitude and the rule, whims, moods, and desires of the Owner.

Some will keep Their property as a pet and be loving towards it, some will be cruel to it, others will objectify it altogether and use it as a mere vessel and tool, locking it away when not needed. But whatever the use and the lowly status, it is because of nature that i am destined to be owned as a Man's property, and no one can run from their own destiny.

Being wired this way by nature itself, the direction i shall run is towards my fate as a Man's property, not away from it.

<< Back to The Evolution of Male Property

Male property vs. slave

2011-10-17T19:39:00.001+01:00

Link: http://j.mp/mp-intro

Special Delivery: Male property in a box

A slave is person who is the property of and wholly subject to another person. Hence, slavery is one application of owning property, whereas property is what he or she is. It's a case of function (slave etc) vs. state (property).

It's like a car you own (property) that you drive (function) or use for display (function) or use for spare parts (function). Depending on how you use the car it will either stay in its current form or be transformed into something else, maybe become part of many other cars and machines. But it is essentially property available for those with the money to buy it and use it in some way or other.

Property, therefore, is the catch-all term for all things available to be owned by free People. When a submissive person becomes property, they give up the ability to fully own in order to become owned themselves by the simple logic that if Z owns Y, and Y owns X, then Z owns both Y and X.

I'm not saying slave is the wrong term, it's just not the only term that's relevant, yet there is considerable emphasis on it to the point where property and ownership are lost. Which is a shame seeing that property is, after all, the route by which a free person becomes fully owned and enslaved.

Without an emphasis on property and ownership, slave is a more vague term. Hence, there is a difference between saying:

"You obey Me because you're my slave"

and

"You obey Me because I own you".

It's important to clarify what each term means to You because there are those interested in slavery, perhaps as a fetish, who are not interested in ownership, and there are those interested in ownership, but less interested in the fetish surrounding BDSM slavery.

Owned property can have many uses: it can be a dog, a sextoy, a servant, a houseboy, cleaner, personal assistant, personal trainer or any combination of many functions. In some of these function the property is a slave, in others it is not. In my own intro on this blog i describe a range of functions i can perform for an Owner, see here. When we talk about ownership what each function has in common is that there is an element of being property. The logical order is:

Male property => owned by a Man or Men => property is used as a slave, dog, toy, tool, <insert more functions>, by that Man or those Men.

Another way to think about it is that in Male or Female or Human property we are emphasising in the first part the dominant Male or Female or Human Owner and then we mention His/Her property. Whereas in slave property or just slave we're describing one function of the property and there is no mention of any Owner or Master/Mistress. Which one would You rather be or own?

As You progress through the Evolution of Male property series, i hope i can show there's a different tempo and nuance between property and slave, but more importantly as I'll explain in a later chapter, there is more apartheid/separateness between Master and slave than there need be between Owner and property, and this can lead to the two sprouting off in different directions guided by different, even conflicting, philosophies.

What this series and blog is not designed to do is preach that what i state is the only correct understanding. There are many interpretations, understandings, and, of course, preferences. This is one version and one vision. i hope You take the time to engage with the issues i raise and feel free (if You're an Owner that should come easily) to express how You think and feel as You peruse from chapter to chapter.

A note about the old blog: If You've arrived here from the old blog Consenting slave, please take a moment to update or note the new link:
http://j.mp/mproperty. If You subscribe to blogs via Google Reader (highly recommended) click here to subscribe to this blog. To subscribe via other readers, click here.

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Next Chapter: How To Find Your Master-slave Match
<< Back to Evolution of Male property
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It could happen: a mail man bringing You Your Male property in a box

The Straight Master

2011-09-18T10:56:00.003+01:00

...and His gay slave.

Link: http://j.mp/thestr8master

You might think there's no such thing. You might think if there is such a thing there's no sex involved. You'd be wrong on both accounts. Sure there are straight Masters & Owners who don't want anything sexual with an inferior male, but what I'm about to describe are 3 straight Dominant Men/Masters I served over a lengthy period of time where the straight Man had a girlfriend and went back to her each time, with no threat to their relationship, or He went out weekends shagging women or wanting to but failing to pull, or the Master was married. Often it was because of their respect for women that this need for a male servant/slave arose or because it was simply better than masturbation as I'll explain.

To date I've served 5 straight Dominant Men in total and I'll update with details about the last two if I have time.

I used to think like a lot of people that gay was defined by the acts of gay sex, but that's not always the historical understanding. Most Roman Masters who would often fuck both their male and female slaves were for all intents and purposes straight. Most prison sex/rape is conducted by those who would define themselves as straight on the outside.

For some it seems, there is some disconnect or even dissonance between sexual acts and sexual thoughts/feelings. Some men are able to receive full oral sex and even perform anal sex with another human being regardless of the gender of that person. They're not bisexual because they only form feelings for one gender, not both - the men servicing them are just performing a sex act on par with their own hand performing masturbation or a sex toy. We don't call wankers "handists", we don't call sex toy users "fleshlighters". We accept that as it is just a tool and there are no romantic feelings for the actual toy that it's not on par with sexual attraction.

I've found several straight Men who can use gay guys like a sex toy or an alternative to masturbation. Perhaps they're "gayists" - straight guys who use gay guys, like that Yahoo chat room in the 90s called: StraightGuysWhoDontMindGayGuysSuckingThemOff, remember that one? :D

What I've found is that with these straight Men, they have only a specific sexual act or set of sexual acts that they'll allow another male to perform for them. They'll go so far and no further. It follows that a lot of these straight Men need to control the situation possibly so that it doesn't go too far into things He doesn't like or want, a bit like a wanker who stops before his hand starts to fist him :p

From my subservient submissive perspective what is so great about such straight Men is that they're able to use a male slave or servant purely for the act, their own pleasure, their self-gratification, the power trip, the degradation and humiliation, but without most of the emotional baggage that builds up between an man and a woman or two gay men. They are just "friends with benefits", and with all the negative aspects of all the baggage that builds up in conventional relationships, this kind of sex can be refreshing.

The Str8 Teen Turned Master

Many years ago I met this teenager at work a couple of months before he turned 18. I was 22. He always wanted a girlfriend but being so young and short and skinny women didn't exactly fight for his attention. He and I became best friends, something about Him not yet being 18 and going into the big wide world brought out the sub in me where I wanted to take care of him. We spent every weekend together drinking, smoking, high while he played computer games (I've never been into computer games but I liked making sure he always had a beer and anything he wanted food wise while he barely looked up from the screen).

One stoned night we agreed that if someone broke in intent on raping us that it would be easier if I, as the gay guy, would offer myself in the hope that he might be saved (we were stoned!). As the weeks dragged on we talked more and more about the idea of a gay guy being a substitute for a girlfriend on those nights and weekends where the straight guy didn't pull. After all, what difference did it make whether it was a guy or a blowup doll or a fleshlight performing the service?

Things didn't start off with cock sucking straight away as He felt that was too close for comfort, but I started sleeping in his bed with him, and each Saturday morning as he woke up I would rim him and he would then start masturbating. At first he would go to the bathroom to cum as he felt it was too like "gay sex" for a hetero like him to cum with me in his bed. Eventually though I said that as he liked being rimmed I could do it more often and if he wanted he could tie me to the bed and just sit on my face so he was in full control at all times. He liked this idea and after trying it I became His "rimming buddy", each Friday and Saturday night he would spend over an hour sitting on my face masturbating lightly. He would spit beer into my mouth if I got thirsty and sit back down on my face again. He would cum on my chest.

By this point he was now 18 and still really wanting a girlfriend. Talking more about the kind of women he likes, he said he liked the more traditional type where he was the man and the one in charge. This was music to my ears as all the rimming service I'd given him over a period of weeks while tied to his bed had very much instilled in me that he should be in the one in charge in all matters. I wanted to do more for him, provide more services than just rimming so one Saturday morning I noticed he was rock hard so I pulled down his boxers and went down on him. It came to him as a shock but he made no effort to stop me. He came quite quickly, having small balls the pressure was enormous and it went straight down my throat. That was it, I was now in full subservient mode, the feeling of his cum hitting the back of my throat like a tidal wave and the taste and smell of his cum flicked a switch in my brain.

From then on after masturbating while being rimmed, he would cum in my mouth but not fully put his dick in my mouth. For a few more weeks I would only get to suck him off on a Saturday morning while he was waking up or still half-asleep. Bit by bit though as he came in my mouth I would suck more and more on his dick until I was basically sucking him off for the last stage of his wank.

I told him I wanted to service him a lot more and not just sexually. I started massaging and orally servicing his feet, which he loved. I would tidy his room, serve him hand and foot and we'd even shower together where I provided him with my full (and very popular) shower service.

I did lots of other things for him that I won't go into as I'm discreet and naturally very private, but I'll say that by being best friends and now His oral servant meant he and I could go a lot further for a lot longer.

We had lunch together at work and he'd always go off to the toilet so I had the idea that if he went to the toilet on the top floor which was largely deserted I could suck him off and he could have a daily blowjob. He liked the idea of not having to masturbate during the week so every lunch break I would suck him off or he would face fuck me at work. It meant not only was he no longer masturbating but I was swallowing all his cum every day, and several times at the weekend, while to him my mouth was a substitute vaginal cum dump. Perfect.

He's now married to a submissive Japanese woman so hopefully he's getting much the same diligent service. If not, he knows where to find me :)

The Anal Sex Str8 Top

On Gaydar a straight guy messaged me as I had a bit of a sub/slave profile on there (nothing like the one on Recon ;) He said he had a girlfriend. He wanted to do anal sex but didn't feel comfortable approaching the subject with his girlfriend and needed an outlet. He thought as gay guys took it up the arse, they'd be a good solution. This manifested itself in the straight guy needing total control over the situation which involved him dominating his "fuck bitch" or "faggot" even to the point of using force and degrading language.

He lived on my route home from work so it was nay bother going to see him whenever he wanted. His girlfriend worked evenings as a nurse I think so it was ideal. I would go round to his and he would simply fuck me in the arse and then I'd continue on my journey home. He started off just fucking me once, but then it became 3 or 4 times over 3 or 4 hours with me acting as his fluffer and foot stool in between fucks.

He became really intense about it all, expecting me there at a specific time and not a minute late. He got more and more rough and even violent and often taunted me that if I wanted him to stop fucking me or hitting me while he was in mid-flow it would be too late and he'd just carry on. He said he could do anything he wanted to me as I was just a whore and a faggot. This all degraded and excited me.

I used to check my arse in between fucks but he got so turned on by dominating me and fucking and beating me at the same time that he could often just fuck twice in a row. Str8 guys need to realise that just because they're fucking my arse like a pussy it's still an exit and for the one and only time in my sexual life, there was a bit of discoloration on the condom and that was enough for him to snap out of his dominance and he kicked me out there and then lol.

A few months later while I was out drinking with loads of straight male friends, he saw me in the street, and being the intense slightly unstable character he is, he just came up to me and started trying to pull me back to his. It was all very rapey and my straight friends just thought that as he knew my name maybe this is what gay guys are like, but eventually they stepped in and saved me. A part of me wishes they hadn't of course because he most likely would have taken me back to his or down an dark alley and "raped" me, which after a lengthy drought at that point was better than talking about football and women with my straight mates (straight men can be so boring at times, can't they? :p)

The Saudi Prince

So a few years pass as do a couple of gay Dom/sub long-term relationships and once single again I decide to get back into looking for a Master or Dominant Alpha-male to service.

A Master from Saudi Arabia contacts me on Recon to say that he's in London looking for a servant/slave, a live-in position for six months, but must be willing for full servitude, obedience, and respect as a true subservient. I also had to accept that "Master is straight and married" and only looking for a "servant with benefits".

I wasn't allowed to know what those benefits were, but my accommodation would be a very nice 5 star apartment in Central London and as long as I provided Master with full service in all things I would be paid well.

I was moving out of my accommodation at that point and only working part-time so six months rent free servitude seemed to fit the bill.

So I turn up for the "interview" where I have to undress and put on my servant uniform, which was basically a very expensive suit that fitted quite well. To the outside world I was an assistant and PA, but I wouldn't see the outside world again for six months. I served Him in a number of sexual ways but also domestically, full shower, bathroom, valet service, you get the picture.

I moved into His apartment the following week and pretty quickly I learned that I was His assistant but only where sex and His personal needs were concerned. i wasn't allowed out of the apartment at all, he would lock me in when He went out. When He was home I would spend my time serving or servicing Him. He fucked me a lot. And then a month into service He started to bring His friends round to use me. These were mostly young guys His age with the oldest being about 40. They were all Arabs (I like Arab men :p) but I'm not sure if they were all from Saudi Arabia, or where they were from.

They would also regularly come round individually during the day and use me sexually, and as I was the slave, I had to do everything they wanted and how they wanted it. If I didn't they could get quite rough (more than they already were) and they would often threaten to tell my Master, which they said would result in very heavy beating.

They all loved getting their dicks sucked, constantly kept sticking them in my mouth, they loved being rimmed but they were especially heavily into anal sex, all total tops that could fuck for very lengthy periods of time. Having a slave seemed to be a major release for them where they could unleash their pent up wild side.

At weekends I would often have to serve several of them at the same time - an orgy of Masters if You like. i liked it because they really treated me not just as a slave but as their property so they were often quite caring, too (as long as I always complied immediately).

There was also no direct talk of consent at all which I found really refreshing: the fact that I had agreed to move in and be enslaved and they had sensible limits of their own was consent enough.

How to find Your Master-slave match

2011-09-08T01:57:00.005+01:00

Property Market: which property goes best with which Owner?

Link: http://j.mp/opmatch

Why is one person the property & slave and the other the Owner & Master? This is probably the most important question of all. It goes to the source of what we want, the decisions we make, and even the morals we live by. It's also important because everybody needs to know whether they are making the right decision or not, and this is a big decision to make, and you can only really know you're making the right decision if you know what makes you tick, i.e. what your needs are as a human being.

Of course, I've done all the work and found the best possible answer, which I'll reveal here. All part of the service :)

I'll cut to the chase, then explain it in detail: this is how we experience and attain happiness. And happiness is what drives humanity, including our morals. How we all go about achieving happiness is what makes us different.

Happiness

In a vanilla equal relationship, the partners are happiest when equally serving each other's needs. When they don't, they argue, and so they work towards compromise. If they continue down a path of no compromise, and continue to fail to address each other's needs and not make each other happy, the relationship stands a good chance of breaking down. Try dominating or submitting to someone who gets happiness through quid pro quo equality. Chances are they'll feel guilty or neglected or even degraded, and end up with a confused or low opinion of you. Abusive or selfish men are vilified, but it's also possible, among many other reasons, that such men are not compatible with their partner.

The problem is that the equality-seekers are the vast majority. Society evolves in the direction of its majority. It's a slow process because of the flaws of how societies are organised. But as many dictators have found out, you can't keep all the people penned in all the time. Eventually most of society moves towards the centre. Those of us on the extremes or extremities, those of us not looking for equality in our home lives, are often misunderstood by the majority and we're left thinking we're bad for wanting something different. However, as I'll explain, equality is not the only way to attain happiness for both partners.

Introducing The Power Seekers

We call them Masters in BDSM for largely fetish reasons from a throwback to a bygone era, but actually any power seeker in their personal relationships will do. I've had a few long-term relationships with dominant men who weren't remotely into fetish or BDSM. A lot of Power Seekers or Masters are dominant and controlling because they want to avoid the pitfalls of compromise and argument; these don't make them happy, and they certainly want to avoid the least happiest state of all: complete break down of their relationship and losing what they love.

So they adopt a possessive, controlling dominance over their possessions and what they love. By controlling it and making decisions for it, the theory is that they'll hold on to it for as long as they can or want. In fact, some more extreme Masters even make comparisons between their slave and their car: "if the car can't up and leave when it wants and I own the car, why should My slave be able to?" A Master is happy when He gets His way, when His needs, desires, and whims are met. It gives Him a sense of stability that what He has is actually His and not fleeting and ready to fly to the next coop. The faster and better a slave can provide that stability and prove it by giving the Master what He wants, the happier the Master.

That's the theory. Of course the practice for many is different, but understanding why some of us want and need to be Masters and slaves, gives us a better chance for the theory to work and for us to find someone compatible with our aims and goals towards happiness.

So what's in it for the TPE slave? The short answer is nothing, but once I've explained the slave inclination, it should make sense. A more accurate question to ask is "how can the slave be happy being controlled, owned, and overpowered by a Master or power seeker?":

Introducing the selfless vicarious-pleasure slave

Some slaves (and boy are they rare) experience pleasure vicariously, and it is vicarious pleasure that makes them happy, content, and fulfilled. Before you Google "vicarious pleasure", it means these slaves experience pleasure through the feelings of another person, and that person in the BDSM world is often called the Master. Vicarious pleasure is what makes these slaves tick. It's as automatic a consequence as "a happy Master results in a happy slave". These slaves are to various degrees selfless (some are even totally selfless or want to be) because selflessness is often a sure way to experience vicarious pleasure (provided it isn't abused by the recipient of the selflessness - this is where gratitude comes from, not to mention reciprocity - and some Masters get it horribly wrong when they abuse the wrong aspect of the service they receive but they're beyond the scope of this post).

Some people who work in certain jobs such as a restaurant as a waiter get job satisfaction out of making others happy by ensuring the customers have a pleasant meal and a good time. It certainly makes their job easier. Good teachers put in extra hours of work to try to be the best teacher they can because they get job satisfaction out of educating others, helping others achieve their goals and make something of their lives.

A vicarious-pleasure slave is like that but on a much deeper, more emotional and loving level. They don't need to be all giving and selfless at work, but they do need to experience and express selflessness at home.

In some ways, especially if it involves domestic chores/servitude, it has parallels to a loving mother caring for her children. Gay men didn't evolve to have kids through heterosexual relationship means, but who's to say some of us didn't evolve to take care of other more dominant Men instead? More about the Slave Gene here.

It follows that if it's the Master getting what He wants that makes the slave happy then it often doesn't matter what it is that the selfless slave has to do. If doing the cleaning, laundry and ironing is what the Master wants and would make Him happy, the slave will seize on this as an opportunity to be selfless.

The mechanism is:

Selfless slave => Useful slave => X done by slave => happy Master => happy slave.

Where X is any task that will make the Master happy, pleased, pleasured or freed up.

And happy days are here again because the two needs balance each other out, both are happy. To paraphrase an old saying: "those I have served, have served me". The Master and slave are serving each other's needs. And what does having your needs met make you?

Happy.

However, it's not all "up above the streets and houses, rainbow flying high". To complicate matters yet further, some Doms/Masters can't handle such selflessness and don't want it. It's important to understand that not every Master is looking for the same thing. For most I suspect it's a question of degree, which is why slaves have evolved to come in all shapes and sizes and degrees of submissiveness. There are also other kinds of slaves, and a whole class of subs, who have other roots to happiness.

There's no "one size fits all" slave. Sounds obvious, but if I had a penny for every time I had to say that...

A slave knowing his emotional limitations, what makes him tick, what degrees of submission he's capable of, and likewise, a Master knowing what degree of submission He wants out of a slave, will make it easier to find compatibility. Water finds its own level.

The other aspect to bear in mind, and this applies to both Masters and slaves, is that none of this is set in stone. Some Masters want a concrete agreement by the end of the week or you're a time-waster, or worse, "not a real slave" (I love defensive Masters, they always make me chuckle). Some slaves want a Master who hardens with time or at least doesn't let up on being the sole authority figure, when some Masters tend to relax more once a loving Master/slave relationship is in place. The problem with these kinds of Master and slave is that feelings and emotions are not tablets of stone you carry down from a mountain. Our inner selves are not monoliths. Our feelings fluctuate so there needs to be some accounting for this.

Of course the more demanding, selfish and dominant the Master and the more selfless, vicarious and submissive the slave, the less they will probably deviate from their true calling, and the more compatible they'll be, but as I've said such slaves are incredibly rare. The majority of human beings live on a spectrum of emotions, feelings and needs and we should learn to go with the grain, not against it, if happiness is what we're after.

Finally, the last thing we need to learn to be happy is to appreciate what we have and that was phrased best by the Greek philosopher Epicurus:

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for."

So you've read about matching happiness, now go get yourself some and let me know how it goes :)

Next Chapter: Why Are There Masters and slaves

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The one question Male property must ask prospective Owners

2011-09-01T22:21:00.003+01:00

Short link: http://j.mp/m-question

"For many are called, but few are chosen" - Matthew 22:14

Many call themselves Dom or Masterbecause they have a dominant inclination sexually or even in every day life. What The Manual To Life, Death, And Anything Beyond doesn't tell us though is that that's the easy part. That's the part that comes naturally.

What's more difficult is to be able to muster the maturity and responsibility required to be a Dom or a Master in practice. This side to being a Dom or Master seems to be severely lacking unfortunately (allowing for the few good Masters out there).

It's not the fact that men have a difficult time growing up that is all that surprising. What is surprising though is how many struggle with it where a slave is concerned when what is required is not all that difficult, and surely the benefits far outweigh the taxing nature of having to be a grown up man and not a little boy anymore. What do men do when they have a wife and kids to feed and protect? Would they spend x-number of years trying to mature enough to rise to the responsibility? Sure, there are many men who completely fail at the task, but shouldn't a Master be wise enough to learn from such examples and realise that being equally immature or irresponsible isn't likely to be something that's going to end well?

And how difficult can it be to own an adult slave? The slave is not a child that can't feed or fend for itself. The slave is likely to have worked before and been through an entire education system. Being a slave owner isn't likely to require round the clock care; it's more likely to involve directing the slave for the betterment of both parties.

Considering the far greater responsibility in nurturing kids, is it just somewhat bizarre that there are people out there calling themselves Doms and Masters because they have an inclination but can't handle the responsibility involved?

So the question every slave must ask every Master is simple: What do You have that enables You to own a slave for real? You'll be amazed at the answers you get. Truly amazed. You'll very quickly be able to sort the men from the boys and if your experience is anything like mine, it won't always be age related.

There's something about being a responsible parent that enables many to mature, not in all things, but enough to bring up some well-rounded kids into the world. I'm less confident about the maturity and responsibility of those who don't go through that process, but it's not out of reach. All it takes is a bit of growing up. So if You're a Master wanting to own a slave, please make sure Your balls have dropped first.

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The Qualities of a Master

2011-08-21T19:30:00.006+01:00

Link: http://j.mp/m-qualities

These are some of the dominant qualities i've experienced from Masters who want total control and ownership. Note this is my experience and of course the list will be incomplete or focus on things others might not like. It's also possible that I've noticed them because they're the qualities I like in a Master. I'm sure it's a list that will grow over time, but it's also worth noting that a Master is not all these things all the time with everybody: it's a question of degree and environment.

These qualities, however, do exist and i've found a Master needs an outlet for them. The more a Master is able to dominate, the more He's able to show these qualities.

Demanding, expectant, sometimes/often impatient - a Master wants and expects to be obeyed and the sooner the better. In a Master/slave relationship, where the slave serves to make the Master's life more pleasant and comfortable, a Master can't relax, can't fully enjoy His property if He has no confidence in whether His orders and wishes are going to be obeyed and in within the time frame set. This leads to a Master being:

Possessive and controlling - this taps into the ownership function of having someone submit. If a Master views His slave as His property, it follows that He can often be possessive over His possessions. As a slave this often acts as a feedback loop, knowing a Master wants to own and control His property and possession. This then leads onto:

Decisive - I've often said the Master is the one who makes the decisions, calls the shots. In many BDSM relationships and for various reasons that can often be the slave. In a TPE agreement, the emphasis is really on the Master being the sole decision-maker. I'm not talking about the basic day to day decisions, but a TPE slave's decisions are delegated ones within the Master's larger more important decisions.

In its most basic form: Master and slave go to the cinema together and they each choose two different movies they want to see. Unless the Master is happy for the slave to go off on his own, or unless the slave is allowed to suggest and persuade the Master otherwise, then the Master's decision/preference overrides the slave's and they go see the Master's choice. This trickles down into any number of scenarios: what the slave wears, where the slave sleeps, what the slave can and can't say, etc. This then allows the Master to become:

Self-interested but not self-serving - not self-serving because a Master has a slave to serve Him obviously ;) But one consequence of a sole decision-maker is that His preferences and ideas can and do override and replace the slave's. This is where the slave's most important quality comes into its own: selflessness.

As I've said on my blog before, the meeting of Master and slave in TPE is often a case of opposites attract. The servant and the served. The Dom and the sub. The Ruler and the subject. Used responsibly this can be very productive.

Just as dividing up work among men and women helped human beings survive and evolve against some of the harshest conditions, dividing up roles, chores and duties in TPE can have a similar effect. The slave frees up the Master who can focus on His goals and the benefits of which are partly trickled down to the slave, ensuring the slave survives as well. For more on this hunter/gather aspect of owning a slave, see my earlier blog post: The Submissive Gene. To use this power to a productive effect, a Master has another quality:

Responsible and caring - a Master/slave agreement and especially a TPE relationship is a form of team work where the slave does a disproportionate amount of the work, at least in the home in the form of chores. The slave suppresses his ego and desires and preferences in favour of the Master's. This makes the slave quite a useful and devoted companion and tool. It follows that such a slave can become rather indispensable.

Today I learned of a straight male slave whose dominatrix wife wanted to sleep with other men but didn't want to give up her slave; she had become so used to having her needs met in detail that she didnt want to get rid of her slave. It follows, at least in my experience, that such a fruition can only come about if the Master is responsible for and takes care of His property.

Another quality I haven't worked into the above is firm and strict. This depends on the willingness of the slave to meet the above and on how much the Master wants to express the above when He enjoys His power over His possessions.

Some slaves need very little persuasion or punishment because their raison d'etre is selflessness, servitude, and egoless sacrifice. They will often talk about being naturally obedient. Others focus on the power aspect of not having a choice or say, of being forced and made to serve. They'll often submit to someone stronger, bigger, older, etc.

Compatibility in a Master/slave agreement or relationship is, in my experience, even more important than in a vanilla relationship. In a vanilla relationship there is time apart, counselling, and friend networks where the relationship is just a part of the norm, and most importantly in a vanilla relationship there is equality, an airing of each view point from both sides (arguments often serve this very purpose).

Each TPE Master/slave relationship or agreement can be so specific to the two or more parties to it that such support, such cultural backdrop can often not exist or be possible. This is why communication is such a vital skill and tool, it is overall the most important. A slave may not be allowed to openly express opposition but I would highly recommend the slave be allowed to keep an online diary of all he thinks and feels, which only the Master is privy to. Blogger allows you to have private account-only access to a blog, and Tumblr allows you to password protect a diary/blog that only the Master then knows.

Masters often talk about owning the slave's mind as well as the body so this is a good way to get access to the slave's deepest thoughts and feelings.

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Next Chapter: How To Talk To Male property
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The daily degradation of Live-in Male property

2011-07-14T02:26:00.003+01:00

Link: http://j.mp/dailydegradation

Imagine having no real say in anything anymore. Imagine not being the key decision-maker in your life and imagine every single minute of every day being told what to wear, where to go, what to do and how with no rules being set in stone so as to comply with the demands of absolute power. Imagine having to meet someone's expectations and standards all the time and being punished/degraded for failing to meet them.

Independence, self-determination and even ego and fate might become meaningless to such a slave. It would require probably a major life-changing almost permanent ego bypass.

I can't help imagining that this would take its toll over time, which is why so many can't make the cross-over from freedom into full-time live-in consenting slavery. Or as the Bible puts it: "many are called, few are chosen".

Some might find that done daily, this is degrading. Out of those some will thrive on such daily degradation and others might crack under it, not able to cope, being too much, too often.

Out of those who thrive on it, they may get fulfilment out of the daily degradation and only really find it degrading because they still remember a time when they were their own master and now they're property.

As always when we talk about an extreme it's a good idea to temper it somewhat. My advice to any slaves who might stumble upon what I've posted here is to go into it only with a Master who cares about His property. The daily grind of being owned property and a full-time slave doesn't have to be destructive (though I recognise for some slaves that's what they want). Whichever way, as long as it's fulfilling, it's all good.

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Next Chapter: The One Question Male property Must Ask Prospective Owners

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Breath Control: When trust makes little difference to the outcome

2011-06-18T01:20:00.004+01:00

Link: http://j.mp/breathcontrol

Trust is a wonderful thing but sometimes trust makes little difference to whether you survive an activity or not because the risks are often beyond the control of the person you trust. One activity that causes a significant number of deaths among the BDSM community is Breath Control (BC). Take the case of Adrian Exley as just one among many examples.

People say BC is ok with people you trust, however the fact is those medically trained to resuscitate people say there's no way to tell when someone goes into cardiac arrest without proper equipment and this can happen in less than a minute, and there's no guaranteed way to bring someone back to life when you have seconds to resuscitate them even with the proper equipment and drugs. If that's the case what good is trust to you then?

It's certainly something to think about and investigate further. The article below goes into some detail to explain all that could go wrong that makes BC one of the most dangerous and deadly activities:

The Medical Realities of Breath Control Play
By Jay Wiseman, 1997, GreeneryPress.com

For some time now, I have felt that the practices of suffocation and/or strangulation done in an erotic context (generically known as breath control play; more properly known as asphyxiophilia) were in fact far more dangerous than they are generally perceived to be.

As a person with years of medical education and experience, I know of no way whatsoever that either suffocation or strangulation can be done in a way that does not intrinsically put the recipient at risk of cardiac arrest. (There are also numerous additional risks; more on them later.)

Furthermore, and my *biggest* concern, I know of no reliable way to determine when such a cardiac arrest has become imminent.

Often the first detectable sign that an arrest is approaching is the arrest itself. Furthermore, if the recipient does arrest, the probability of resuscitating them, even with optimal CPR, is distinctly small. Thus the recipient is dead and their partner, if any, is in a very perilous legal situation. (The authorities could consider such deaths first-degree murders until proven otherwise, with the burden of such proof being on the defendant). There are also the real and major concerns of the surviving partner's own life-long remorse to having caused such a death, and the trauma to the friends and family members of both parties.

Some breath control fans say that what they do is acceptably safe because they do not take what they do up to the point of unconsciousness. I find this statement worrisome for two reasons:

(1) You can't really know when a person is about to go unconscious until they actually do so, thus it's extremely difficult to know where the actual point of unconsciousness is until you actually reach it.

(2) More importantly, unconsciousness is a *symptom*, not a condition in and of itself. It has numerous underlying causes ranging from simple fainting to cardiac arrest, and which of these will cause the unconsciousness cannot be known in advance.

I have discussed my concerns regarding breath control with well over a dozen SM-positive physicians, and with numerous other SM-positive health professionals, and all share my concerns. We have discussed how breath control might be done in a way that is not life-threatening, and come up blank. We have discussed how the risk might be significantly reduced, and come up blank. We have discussed how it might be determined that an arrest is imminent, and come up blank.

Indeed, so far not one (repeat, not one) single physician, nurse, paramedic, chiropractor, physiologist, or other person with substantial training in how a human body works has been willing to step forth and teach a form of breath control play that they are willing to assert is acceptably safe -- i.e., does not put the recipient at imminent, unpredictable risk of dying. I believe this fact makes a major statement.

Other "edge play" topics such as suspension bondage, electricity play, cutting, piercing, branding, enemas, water sports, and scat play can and have been taught with reasonable safety, but not breath control play. Indeed, it seems that the more somebody knows about how a human body works, the more likely they are to caution people about how dangerous breath control is, and about how little can be done to reduce the degree of risk.

In many ways, oxygen is to the human body, and particularly to the heart and brain, what oil is to a car's engine. Indeed, there's a medical adage that goes "hypoxia (becoming dangerously low on oxygen) not only stops the motor, but also wrecks the engine." Therefore, asking how one can play safely with breath control is very similar to asking how one can drive a car safely while draining it of oil.

Some people tell the "mechanics" something like, "Well, I'm going to drain my car of oil anyway, and I'm not going to keep track of how low the oil level is getting while I'm driving my car, so tell me how to do this with as much safety as possible." (They may even add someting like "Hey, I always shut the engine off before it catches fire.") They then get frustrated when the mechanics scratch their heads and say that they don't know. They may even label such mechanics as "anti-education."

A bit about my background may help explain my concerns. I was an ambulance crewman for over eight years. I attended medical school for three years, and passed my four-year boards, (then ran out of money). I am a former member of the American Academy of Family Physicians and a former American Heart Association instructor in Advanced Cardiac Life Support. I have an extensive martial arts background that includes a first-degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. My martial arts training included several months of judo that involved both my choking and being choked.

I have been an instructor in first aid, CPR, and various advanced emergency care techniques for over sixteen years. My students have included physicians, nurses, paramedics, police officers, fire fighters, wilderness emergency personnel, martial artists, and large numbers of ordinary citizens. I currently offer both basic and advanced first aid and CPR training to the SM community.

During my ambulance days, I responded to at least one call involving the death of a young teenage boy who died from autoerotic strangulation, and to several other calls where this was suspected but could not be confirmed. (Family members often "sanitize" such scenes before calling 911.) Additionally, I personally know two members of my local SM community who went to prison after their partners died during breath control play.

The primary danger of suffocation play is that it is not a condition that gets worse over time (regarding the heart, anyway, it does get worse over time regarding the brain). Rather, what happens is that the more the play is prolonged, the greater the odds that a cardiac arrest will occur. Sometimes even one minute of suffocation can cause this; sometimes even less.

Quick pathophysiology lesson # 1: When the heart gets low on oxygen, it starts to fire off "extra" pacemaker sites. These usually appear in the ventricles and are thus called premature ventricular contractions -- PVC's for short. If a PVC happens to fire off during the electrical repolarization phase of cardiac contraction (the dreaded "PVC on T" phenomenon, also sometimes called "R on T") it can kick the heart over into ventricular fibrillation -- a form of cardiac arrest. The lower the heart gets on oxygen, the more PVC's it generates, and the more vulnerable to their effect it becomes, thus hypoxia increases both the probability of a PVC-on-T occurring and of its causing a cardiac arrest.

When this will happen to a particular person in a particular session is simply not predictable. This is exactly where most of the medical people I have discussed this topic with "hit the wall." Virtually all medical folks know that PVC's are both life-threating and hard to detect unless the patient is hooked to a cardiac monitor. When medical folks discuss breath control play, the question quickly becomes: How can you tell when they start throwing PVC's? The answer is: You basically can't.

Quick pathophysiology lesson # 2: When breathing is restricted, the body cannot eliminate carbon dioxide as it should, and the amount of carbon dioxide in the blood increases. Carbon dioxide (CO2) and water (H2O) exist in equilibrium with what's called carbonic acid (H2CO3) in a reaction catalyzed by an enzyme called carbonic anhydrase.

Thus: CO2 + H2O becomes H2CO3

A molecule of carbonic acid dissociates on its own into a molecule of what's called bicarbonate (HCO3-) and an (acidic) hydrogen ion. (H+)

Thus: H2CO3 becomes HCO3- and H+

Thus the overall pattern is:
H2O + CO2 becomes H2CO3 becomes HCO3- + H+

Therefore, if breathing is restricted, CO2 builds up and the reaction shifts to the right in an attempt to balance things out, ultimately making the blood more acidic and thus decreasing its pH. This is called respiratory acidosis. (If the patient hyperventilates, they "blow off CO2" and the reaction shifts to the left, thus increasing the pH. This is called respiratory alkalosis, and has its own dangers.)

Quick pathophysiology lesson # 3:

Again, if breathing is restricted, not only does carbon dioxide have a hard time getting out, but oxygen also has a hard time getting in. A molecule of glucose (C6H12O6) breaks down within the cell by a process called glycolysis into two molecules of pyruvate, thus creating a small amount of ATP for the body to use as energy. Under normal circumstances, pyruvate quickly combines with oxygen to produce a much larger amount of ATP. However, if there's not enough oxygen to properly metabolize the pyruvate, it is converted into lactic acid and produces one form of what's called a metabolic acidosis.

As you can see, either a build-up in the blood of carbon dioxide or a decrease in the blood of oxygen will cause the pH of the blood to fall. If both occur at the same time, as they do in cases of suffocation, the pH of the blood will plummet to life-threatening levels within a very few minutes. The pH of normal human blood is in the 7.35 to 7.45 range (slightly alkaline). A pH falling to 6.9 (or raising to 7.8) is "incompatible with life."

Past experience, either with others or with that same person, is not particularly useful. Carefully watching their level of consciousness, skin color, and pulse rate is of only limited value. Even hooking the bottom up to both a pulse oximeter and a cardiac monitor (assuming you had either piece of equipment, and they're not cheap) would be of only limited additional value.

While an experienced clinician can sometimes detect PVC's by feeling the patient's pulse, in reality the only reliable way to detect them is to hook the patient up to a cardiac monitor. The problem is that each PVC is potentially lethal, particularly if the heart is low on oxygen. Even if you "ease up" on the bottom immediately, there's no telling when the PVC's will stop. They could stop almost at once, or they could continue for hours.

In addition to the primary danger of cardiac arrest, there is good evidence to document that there is a very real risk of cumulative brain damage if the practice is repeated often enough. In particular, laboratory studies of repeated brief interruption of blood flow to the brains of animals and studies of people with what's called "sleep apnea syndrome" (in which they stop breathing for up to two minutes while sleeping) document that cumulative brain damage does occur in such cases.

There are many documented additional dangers. These include, but are _not_ limited to: rupture of the windpipe, fracture of the larynx, damage to the blood vessels in the neck, dislodging a fatty plaque in a neck artery which then travels to the brain and causes a stroke, damage to the cervical spine, seizures, airway obstruction by the tongue, and aspiration of vomitus. Additionally, there are documented cases in which the recipient appeared to fully recover but was found dead several hours later.

The American Psychiatric Association estimates a death rate of one person per year per million of population -- thus about 250 deaths last year in the U.S. Law enforcement estimates go as much as four times higher. Most such deaths occur during solo play, however there are many documented cases of deaths that occurred during play with a partner. It should be noted that the presence of a partner does nothing to limit the primary danger, and does little or nothing to limit most of the secondary dangers.

Some people teach that choking can be safely done if pressure on the windpipe is avoided. Their belief is that pressing on the arteries leading to the brain while avoiding pressure on the windpipe can safely cause unconsciousness. The reality, unfortunately, is that pressing on the carotid arteries, _exactly_ as they recommend, presses on baroreceptors known as the carotid sinus bodies. These bodies then cause vasodilation in the brain, thus there is not enough blood to perfuse the brain and the recipient loses consciousness. However, that's not the whole story.

Unfortunately, a message is also sent to the main pacemaker of the heart, via the vagus nerve, to decrease the rate and force of the heartbeat. Most of the time, under strong vagal influence, the rate and force of the heartbeat decreases by one third. However, every now and then, the rate and force decreases to zero and the bottom "flatlines" into asystole -- another, and more difficult to treat, form of cardiac arrest. There is no way to tell whether or not this will happen in any particular instance, or how quickly. There are many documented cases of as little as five seconds of choking causing a vagal-outflow-induced cardiac arrest.

For the reason cited above, many police departments have now either entirely banned the use of choke holds or have reclassified them as a form of deadly force. Indeed, a local CHP officer recently had a $250,000 judgment brought against him after a nonviolent suspect died while being choked by him.

Finally, as a CPR instructor myself, I want to caution that knowing CPR does little to make the risk of death from breath control play significantly smaller. While CPR can and should be done, understand that the probability of success is likely to be less than 10%.

I'm not going to state that breath control is something that nobody should ever do under any circumstances. I have no problem with informed, freely consenting people taking any degree of risk they wish. I am going to state that there is a great deal of ignorance regarding what actually happens to a body when it's suffocated or strangled, and that the actual degree of risk associated with these practices is far greater than most people believe.

I have noticed that, when people are educated regarding the severity and unpredictability of the risks, fewer and fewer choose to play in this area, and those who do continue tend to play less often. I also notice that, because of its severe and unpredictable risks, more and more SM party-givers are banning any form of breath control play at their events.

If you'd like to look into this matter further, here are some references to get you started:
"Emergency Care in the Streets" by Caroline (I recommend starting here)
"Medical Physiology" by Guyton
"The Pathologic Basis of Disease" by Robbins
"Textbook of Advanced Cardiac Life Support" by American Heart Association
"The Physiology Coloring Book" by Kapit, Macey, and Meisami
"Forensic Pathology" by DeMaio and Demaio
"Melloni's Illustrated Medical Dictionary" by Dox, Melloni, and Eisner
"Autoerotic Fatalities" by Hazelwood

People with questions or comments can contact me at the GreeneryPress website or write to me at Greenery Press, 3739 Balboa #195, San Francisco, CA 94121.

Regards,

Jay Wiseman

What Master and slave mean in TPE Ownership

2011-05-31T10:46:00.004+01:00

slave means property, subject, servant, tool. The slave as Male property consents to being owned by a Dictator and Owner, and wants to be treated as property. He consents to being ruled over and obediently and subserviently subjugated to a life of selfless servitude. He understands that as property he is subject to His Owner's will and mood and not the other way around (unless there are psychological limitations).

Key skill: selflessness.

Master means Owner, Dictator, Ruler, Law-giver, Decision-maker over all His property. He may decide to be treated as a King, an Emperor and worshipped as a God, but essentially the more He owns His property outright, the more He has ultimate power to decide what and when and how.

Key skill: decision-making.

There are of course natural limits. For instance, a Master as Owner in wielding His absolute power is responsible for His property's well-being. Likewise, a slave even as owned property should still retain his survival instinct. Nobody's advocating submitting to a caricature of Moamar Gadaffi. This is why finding a slave who truly understands his true calling in life and is willing to enact it and pairing such property with an Owner who understands His responsibility for His property is vital to a successful outcome.

Total in TPE doesn't have to mean the Master and slave go thru every possible item on the entire BDSM menu and spectrum. It's not a competition or a race to fetish heaven. Instead 'total' refers to the automatic and autocratic nature of a dynamic of command followed by obedience, of law followed by compliance.

The dynamic itself can be intoxicating: the realisation that the slave wants and needs to be treated as property, even objectified in the process, that the Master wants to own Male property and expects to be obeyed and worshipped for it. Then there are the grey areas that arise in pushing a slave to or past his limits, the grey areas between yes and no...

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Next Chapter: The Qualities of a Master
<< Back to Evolution of Male property
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How to talk to Male property

2011-05-29T16:42:00.001+01:00

Deciding how You'll talk to Your property is something a lot of Owners like about owning Male property but because of social conventions, such Owners can, at least at first, feel more restrained than They need to be. This is something that should be overcome because often what is needed by those of us who identify as Your property is for You to be:

Direct and to the point.

If You're not submissive and don't identify as property, then chances are You probably don't know how Your property thinks, how the submissive brain works, and exactly what it needs in order to function efficiently.

As a rule of thumb: Don't leave things to chance. Don't talk in vague general terms. Say exactly what You mean. If You're the kind of Owner who thinks Your property is unequal, inferior and needs to live life according to Your rules and whims, then don't assume such dependent property is going to understand exactly what You mean by whatever generic term You're using.

This should happen quite naturally once You own Your property and especially if Your property lives with You, but, largely due to coyness, fear of rejection/jugdement, and social convention, some Owners feel restricted. Fortunately, one of the benefits of owning property is that You don't have to follow such conventions or worry about rejection or judgement. You are judge and jury over Your estate and all Your property within it, and You make the rules.

Of course, words can wound and often leave their mark long after any bruises have cleared up so it's important to bear this in mind as well.

I'll update this with examples later.

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Next Chapter: The Daily Degradation of Live-in Male property

<< Back to Evolution of Male property

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German BDSM-Test now in English

2011-05-07T23:20:00.004+01:00

Link: http://j.mp/bdsmtest

This is one of the best BDSM tests I've seen online - and you get a lovely series of graphs with the results to put on all your profiles and accidentally send to all your work colleagues.

The bad news for most people is that the test is only available in German.

The good news is I translated it years ago for a Master and thanks to online storage found it again today. So I retook the test to see what has changed (i've become more masochistic - yikes). Then it hit me ;) why not make the translation available on my blog for non-German speakers.

So are you sitting (un)comfortably?

Achtung! Fertig! Los!!!!! (Ready! Set! Go!!!!)

The wesbite is:

http://BDSM-Test.com

Don't panic!! It's only the language of BDSM :)

Top Right Box:

Choose a Pseudo (Dein Pseudo = your nickname, this will appear on the graphs) and enter your email address (Deine EMail). They then send you an email and you have to click the first link to continue the registration.

Registration details:

German	English
Pseudo	Nickname
Alter	Age
PLZ	Post code (1 0 1 will put you in north-west Berlin)
Bitte die ersten 3 Ziffer!	The first 3 digits, please!
Geschlecht	gender
Schulabschluss	education (Abitur is A-level, SAT)
Familienstand	Marital status
Geschlecht des Wunschpartners	gender of the partner you're seeking
Erfahrung mit SM	experience with S&M
Weiter	Next/onwards

Click on "Hier gehts zu den Fragen" (click here for the questions) to start the test. A small window will then pop up:

Which means:

Click on "Zu den Fragen" ( = Go to the questions).

Now unfortunately, the answers to the questions appear in random order so you have to match them to my translation, which is as follows, i've highlighted the key words to remember:

German	English
trifft auf keinen Fall zu	Doesn't apply to me at all
trifft kaum zu	Hardly applies to me
trifft etwas zu	Somewhat applies to me
trifft weitgehend zu	Applies to a large extent
trifft vollkommen zu	Applies totally, fuck yeah! :p

There's a line at the top of the test that says:

Hinweis: Wenn du eine derartige Fantasie noch nicht hattest, dann wähle bitte "Trifft auf keinen Fall zu"

which means:

Please Note: if you haven't had such a fantasy yet, then choose "trifft auf keinen Fall zu" (doesn't apply to me at all).

Now (finally) to the test itself:

The fantasy/idea excites me...

Frage 1: ... when I give notice of pain, torture and humiliation to my partner

Frage 2: ... when i suffer humiliation via my Partner

Frage 3: ... when I feel my partner's submission and devotion

Frage 4: ... when I sense my partner's fear and hear his cries.

Frage 5: ... when my Partner inflicts pain that I can only just bear.

Frage 6: ... when I get my partner to do things that he wouldn't normally do or like.

Frage 7: ... when my partner has my body at his disposal.

Frage 8: ... when I see the marks of my SM-treatment left on my partner (pressure points from clamps, welts from torture, etc.)

Frage 9: ... when my partner submits to me involuntarily.

Frage 10: ... when i'm punished for my mistakes/misconduct.

Frage 11: ... when i don't know which "treatments" i'm to endure.

Frage 12: ... when my partner has to suffer pain during sex or during a session

Frage 13: ... When, through suffering pain, my orgasm is protracted.

Frage 14: ... when my partner forbids me to orgasm.

Frage 15: ... when I torture my partner up to his limits.

Frage 16: ... when I have use of my partner's body and it's at my disposal.

Frage 17: ... when i can't defend myself against the pain i'm experiencing.

Frage 18: ... when I can see that my partner has surrendered to me.

Frage 19: ... when I, as torturer, punish others.

Frage 20: ... when i'm forced to submit to my partner completely.

Frage 21: ... when my partner announces in which way He's going to use me.

Frage 22: ... when my partner dishes out orders to me.

Frage 23: ... when i'm forced under orders to postpone my orgasm (cum-denial)

Frage 24: ... when I use my partner as a sextoy.

Frage 25: ... when I buy a slave at a slave market.

Frage 26: ... when i'm kept helpless during sex with my partner.

Frage 27: ... when my partner follows my orders with no objection.

Frage 28: ... when pain reaches my limits.

Frage 29: ... when my partner doesn't carry out an order in order to be punished.

Frage 30: ... when i, without experiencing a personal high, have to provide my partner's pleasure.

Frage 31: ... when pain is inflicted to my sensitive areas.

Frage 32: ... when i'm totally at my partner's mercy and being tortured/tormented/teased by him. (quälen means a lot of things lol)

Frage 33: ... when strangers torture/tease me.

Frage 34: ... when I inflict pain on someone.

Frage 35: ... when i'm forced to serve someone as their slave.

Frage 36: ... when my partner doesn't obey my order and I punish him for it.

Frage 37: ... when I hear my partner moaning in pain or I can see the torment and suffering on his face.

Frage 38: ... when i hand over all responsibility for me to my partner.

Frage 39: ... when I hit my partner in sensitive areas.

Frage 40: ... when I use different things (such as clamps, wax, etc.) to add to my Partner's pain.

Frage 41: ... when i'm severely beaten/thrashed.

Frage 42: ... when my body is at my partner's disposal for his pleasure.

Frage 43: ... when i'm forced to satisfy myself in front of my partner.

Frage 44: ... when I tell my partner off for his disobedience and punish him for it.

Frage 45: ... when i have to satisfy my partner with oral sex.

Frage 46: ... when i subjugate myself to my partner voluntarily.

Frage 47: ... when my partner brings me to limits that were unknown to me before.

Frage 48: ... when my partner gives me the feeling of being completely at his mercy.

Frage 49: ... when I put my partner in compromising positions/situations (e.g. no underwear in public, inserted Dildo, ...)

Zusatzfragen (Additional Questions)

These questions are used to better determine your inclination. Please answer these questions carefully.

Frage 1: SM has enriched my life!

Frage 2: Sometimes I wish I didn't have SM-fantasies in my life.
(bisher noch nicht = not up to now)

Frage 3: Sometimes I worry that I go too far in my transformation to SM.

Frage 4: I sometimes fear that my implementation of SM could lead to harm/damage.

Frage 5: I think that in the practice of SM the danger of serious damage is fairly high.

Frage 6: My sex life would be boring without SM!

Frage 7: What age were you when you first started having SM fantasies?

1 - 6 7 - 13 14 - 20 21 - 30 31 - 40 41 - 50 older than 50 still none at all

Frage 8: With regards my sexual inclinations I sometimes regret being different to "normal" people.

Frage 9: Several times I've tried to "switch off" my SM-fantasies.

Frage 10: I find it a problem that my SM-fantasies don't fit in with my Values System.

Frage 11: My SM fantasies have gradually become more and more extreme / are becoming more and more extreme.

Frage 12: How often have you had an SM experience in the last 2 years?

None at all a little some up to now often very often

Frage 13: How often have you had an SM fantasy in the last 2 years?

None at all a little some up to now often very often

In the results section you'll see this menu down the left-hand side. Verteilung (distribution) will show you your results in a pie chart adding up to 100%. The text says:

What is the relative distribution of a person's inclinations/tendencies?

The BDSM-test determines the "absolute intensity of the 4 basic tendencies" of a person so can determine how much a person is sadistic, dominant, submissive, or masochistic.

This score however doesn't constitute the "relative dispersion" of these inclinations of the person as a whole.

When you see the person as a whole, i.e. 100%, you see on this chart how the various tendencies distribute with respect to one another.

Begrifflichkeit means terminology or concepts and it gives quite good explanations for the terms dom, sub, etc. The German in this section says:

Devote Neigung (Submissive inclination)

People with submissive tendencies/inclinations enjoy subjugating themselves and giving up control to another, becoming controlled/dominated and directed by someone.

Dominante Neigung (Dominant inclination)

In contrast, people with dominant tendencies derive sexual pleasure and satisfaction out of the domination and control of another.

Sadistische Neigung (Sadistic inclination)

Sadistic inclinations are characterised by the fact that a person experiences sexual pleasure and satisfaction through inflicting pain and humiliation on another. The term goes back to the French writer Marquis de Sade.

Masochistische Neigung (Masochistic inclination)

The opposite of this is the masochistic tendency, which is characterised by how someone experiences sexual pleasure or satisfaction when pain is inflicted on him and/or he is humiliated.

It then says:

ATTENTION: It should be noted that the tendencies covered here are only to be understood as preferences within a sexual partnership and generally have very little to do with the behaviour/practice in daily life. So, for example, someone with strong sadistic preferences can by all means be loving and tender in normal human relationships. It should also be noted that very few people identify exclusively as people with just one type of SM tendency. Many love, for example, the interplay between dominant/sadistic and submissive/masochistic (Switchers).

So there :D

Other things to note: if you want to change your password (Passwort) go to Einstellungen (Settings) on the menu, and to go back to your results go to Mein Ergebnis (my score - ergeben also means submissive, devoted, humble, or surrender - told you it was the language of BDSM :p)

Percentage-change: From when I took the test a few years ago to the test I took today, the "devot" level has remained the same but the "masochist" percentage has increased - good news for some, i s'ppose :p

Ownership, when is it real?

2011-04-27T14:16:00.011+01:00

Link: http://j.mp/realownership

Bank of Ownership & Slavery: Chapter 3

i'd suggest it's when the property can't just walk away and that's because they have no money and no property of their own and no other place to go. It's directly proportional to the amount of dependence the property has on the Owner. For real ownership to be realised, the Owner/property relationship must move beyond mere consent and into dependence. If it's a sub or slave, he/she must become property itself.

Consent that can be withdrawn at any time generally is. There's no real ownership or even power in pandering just to consent. Consent is the initiator, and it's often spoken about as if there's only one universal form of it, but there are two very different kinds of consent: the consent to being used, treated in a certain manner with limits outlined and respected. This is extrinsic consent, the consenting to external power, treatment and influence. There is no dependence here: the sub or slave can withdraw consent to any particular treatment, which may or may not end in termination of the service or session.

But for ownership as property to be fully realised what a sub or slave also needs to consent to is internal imprisonment, having no independence of self, no immediate escape, for only then can real ownership and the Master's real power begin. This is intrinsic consent and the dependence it creates is not so easy to withdraw from. Intrinsic consent is a lot more common than many realise. It exists in equal loving relationships, too. The partner who cheats and gets forgiven is often forgiven because the cheated partner can't stop loving the cheat and doesn't want to go through life without them. Intrinsic love, that person's "heart", we say, is holding that person prisoner to the cheat - when cheating is something you'd think was cast iron proof the love wasn't equal - and if the cheated partner wasn't in love, that person would be able to withdraw all extrinsic consent and walk away.

The Owner/property relationship model has a similar form of intrinsic consent which creates a deep psychological dependency, and from the Bible and the Roman Empire to the modern world, you guessed it, it's achieved through physical and financial means:

Male property today may have a nest egg, one maintained by the Owner, savings, wages that are handed over to the Owner, but if the owned party can't directly get to those funds, they are dependent and they are owned. They may have items that the Owner allows them to use, borrow or even 'own' (including any clothes that may be worn), but being fully owned property, in real terms, that's all subject to his Owner's approval at all times. The property may be kept indoors or only allowed to work from home with all movement monitored. He may be fed as and when the Master decides, even the use of a toilet or shower may be conditional on the slave's submission and behaviour. Freedom of speech? Freedom of thought? They're for equal independent humans, not intrinsically owned dependent property. If someone intrinsically owned as property has them at all, it's subject to the Owner's approval or whims and moods.

If the saying that property can't independently own property is true, then a person as property can't own things and if that property needs certain items in order to function in certain capacities and the only source for those items is the Owner, then that property can consider itself dependent on that Owner, and when those things include the basics such as food, shelter, sleep, (going back to the basic animal 'eat, shit, and sleep' model) that person is truly owned down to the bear necessities of life.

I can't imagine this being comfortable reading for many but we are talking about ownership here, of turning free people into property. So whatever the rights and wrongs are, we're back at defining ownership as property in pecuniary/financial and possessed terms, which historically, in the Roman Empire and the Bible, is what it was all about.

Great when history goes full circle, isn't it, Sir?

I'll get the whip now, Sir :)

Chapter 1: Why Masters Can't Find Male Property
Chapter 2: Purchase Your Own Male Property

Purchase Your Own Male property

2011-04-22T04:51:00.008+01:00

Link: http://j.mp/boos-02

Bank of Ownership & Slavery: Chapter 2

My first article on this blog coined the term "Bank of Ownership & Slavery" to solve a never-ending problem Masters face in finding real fully-ownable 24/7/365 live-in Male property. If you haven't read it yet you may bulk even more wide-eyed reading this so here is the first article on this topic (there's a link at the end of it back to this post so you won't get lost).

So, to recap: The problem is that the slave giving up so much individuality and freedom to live as someone else's full-time live-in owned property has a financial cost that could prove very dear should things go wrong later on.

But, as just an idea, what if you offered a slave an upfront amount to own him outright?

The purchase money could be put into a savings account so the slave can't touch it directly, and it can be used or start to be used as a nest egg, depending on how much it is, of course.

If it's a small amount, just to cover loss of earnings during the initial probationary period of, say, six months, it'd need adding to, say, on a monthly basis should the slave pass the probation.

If it's a large amount upfront, it probably won't need adding to for a number of years.

In the first chapter of this ownership series, I stated that building a nest egg for ownership was the crucial factor in finding and keeping one who doesn't work outside the home. Much is banded about today about Roman-style slavery but the crucial piece of the information that is conveniently overlooked today is that Roman Masters were (and still are in Italian today) called Patroni, meaning patrons or sponsors. Slavery always was economic and pecuniary in nature. It wasn't just about Romans getting their dicks sucked as much of 'slavery' and ownership is today.

There's another important reason this might be a good idea: it gives the Master a sense of real ownership. Just as we work for our daily bread so we can buy all the items we want to own, if slaves really are property, why should they be exempt from this pecuniary process? Not that I'm suggesting anyone break any local laws, but putting money in a savings account is hardly a criminal offence (well, with the base rate what it is, it might soon be).

Do people really value what they get for free? If you pay for something out of your hard-earned cash, do you not value it more than the local freebie that seems to be in constant supply?

How much the Master can afford to pay and is willing to pay and how much the owned slave is worth is between the Master and His prospective property, but a general guide is that the aim is always to build a nest egg to act as security should things go wrong (e.g. the Master dies) or not work out (e.g. the Master wants to dissolve ownership of His property).

We know the price of a loaf of bread and a pint of milk. We know prices for many things are likely to inflate over 10, 20, 30 years, you'll know the yearly salary the slave is currently earning, so a simple spreadsheet should be suffice in calculating the nest egg.

Let's take the Scrooge test and do a forecast for the savings account option:

If you saved £300 a month (probably at the high end) over 10 years, that would be a nest egg of £36,000 before interest. Over 20 years that would be £72,000.

That's less than two years average salary for 10 years full ownership and less than four years average salary for 20 years of pure live-in servitude and ownership. Nowhere near enough for the slave to buy a roof over his head should the worst happen to the Master, but still sounds like a bargain to me.

That equates to putting away £3,600 a year - half the UK's tax free personal allowance and within the limits of an ISA - and a tiny fraction of what most people earn. And it's only a nest egg, not a monthly salary. If the slave dies first or You keep the slave, the money just becomes another savings account - a nest egg for both Master and slave in their old age.

I'm not saying it has to be £300 a month, this is just an example. It's up to the Master to decide based on all the information and factors. £200 a month seems to be within most Masters' capabilities, however, out of the ones who've discussed this with me.

Those who can't think along these prudent lines should go get a dog or a cat or talking parrot. They cost on average £30 a month so 10 times cheaper than a slave and, on average, they live a lot less. But if it's a fully owned live-in slave you want, i offer my inferior slave advice and suggest You do like the Roman Patroni.

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Chapter 3: Ownership: When Is It Real?
Chapter 1: Why Masters Can't Find Male Property

How It Works: A Master's Perspective

2010-12-20T18:56:00.001+00:00

How I See The M/s Lifestyle

Original German article by MasterMarc, November 2004

This English translation by me, December 2010

The M/s lifestyle is not a role-play for me because roles are the characters of others. For me, being a Master is a desire from within. Dominance is a character trait, it's a part of me, and it has become of great importance to my life. Just as my dominance is a character trait of mine, so should submissiveness be a part of my slave's character.

Submissives need to have the natural desire to serve, to hand over trustingly to another person the willingness to be subordinate, to practise obedience and take the consequences, to be inclined towards enduring degradation. Only then can our two diametrically opposed needs fit perfectly together like two pieces of a puzzle.

Indeed, a truly dominant person might never really understand a submissive person, since the needs of the submissive are so foreign to Him. Nevertheless, He needs to try to comprehend it because He is responsible for the well-being of all those involved. It is his job to see that everyone reaches their potential, that everyone's needs are satisfied. This should not be too difficult since the needs and desires of both parties complement each other exactly. Thus, content, each one, by living up to his own inclination, meets the needs of the other. This applies as much to the Master as it does to the slave.

The M/s lifestyle, which is based on trust, and ideally in an M/s relationship, is one of the deepest and most intense inter-personal relations that can exist. It's not love in a classic sense, but if you see love as an emotional sense of belonging, then it is an extreme form of love. There are few pledges of love where you surrender yourself wholeheartedly to another, and the other side takes on the responsibility beyond the norm.

Next to trust, the M/s lifestyle is based on mutual respect and recognition. Yes, even a Master needs to respect the slave, even when He often displays the opposite. The slave needs to be able to rely on the fact that the Master feels this respect deep inside. Only when, for safety reasons, the Master can put His slave's well-being above His own desires can the slave let himself go and be absolutely ready to contribute every sinew of himself to making the Master happy.

I am often asked what it is that attracts me to dominance, what gives me the satisfaction. To find one answer for this is anything but simple, since this desire plays itself out on an extreme emotional level. After much consideration, I came to one answer that is anything but complete, but nevertheless comprises one of the chief motivations: It is satisfying to bestow upon someone the satisfaction they crave, a satisfaction they can only achieve through living according to their own nature.

It is a kind of service to the slave. I have enough confidence, security and warmth to give away which is what someone else is looking for. I love offering the tough leadership, humiliation, nastiness and consistency that he needs. By living my way I can offer my opposite number, the submissive, what satisfies his needs. As a master, I serve the slave by allowing him to serve me.

This definition for my joy of the M/s lifestyle rules out the possibility that it's about power for me: I've got enough of that in my daily life. This should never be the motivator for this lifestyle. I myself love the responsibility, I am positively addicted to it. Of course the one with the responsibility is the one who has the authority, and so has the power. Yet, particularly in my professional life I live according to the saying: "A leader can't rely on playing boss. It's in the moments of unpopular decision-making that he proves his leadership."

How is this view reflected in my M/s lifestyle? I am not a screaming Master. It's mostly true that he who screams is wrong. Of course I can get pithily loud, but then my slave knows that in such situations resistance is the most stupid thing he can do. Also in my tone with the slave is verbal humiliation, yet this is mostly a calm tone, and is in its own way also decent. I can without cost to myself or feeling that I've lost a prong to my crown say "please" to a slave - as long as I know that the slave knows this is not a request, but a beautifully masked command. This way it is possible to live our M/s lifestyle outside the home among the people who can't know about our special relationship. Granted, there are situations where public humiliation has its appeal, but this doesn't have to be ubiquitous. If it becomes a rule it loses its effect. It is, as always, the job of the Master to deal with the different tools at his disposal in the right situational and masterly way.

These are my first condensed thoughts in writing on this topic. I could philosophise about it for hours. Thus one can certainly count on more to follow. Of course I am happy to receive feedback on my view as I would never claim that my view is objectively the right one, but it's right for me at present. And isn't that what's most important?

Original article in German:
http://www.gaysade.com/41.html?&L=2&L=0

Go to: How It Works: A slave's Perspective

How It Works: A slave's Perspective

2010-12-20T13:35:00.001+00:00

From: TheMasterandHisslave

question:

I have recently been sharing with another sub. Part of our discussion was on pleasure. he feels that he should not get any pleasure from serving, it is all about the Master's pleasure, not ours. I disagreed. i feel our pleasure is important but different.

answer:

this is a fantastic question and one i had to ponder a bit. for the most part, i agree with you rather than your friend. as a submissive and slave, we have to derive some kind of personal pleasure from our role or else we would not have been attracted to this lifestyle in the first place. whether it's sexual excitement, psychological stability, military-style structure or whatever, the slave receives some kind of personal incentive for serving a Master. that, to me, is the true beauty of a power-exchange relationship. by surrendering my life over to Master, He receives the life and happiness that He deserves and i, in return, receive the peace and balance that i cannot otherwise achieve on my own without Him.

that's not to say that we always get pleasure from the act itself. Master often asks me to do things that i don't personally enjoy doing, but because i am doing it for Him, i end up loving it. for example, the other week, Master had me clean out dog shit from the grooves in the sole of his boot. that is not something, as an individual, that i even remotely enjoy. however, as His slave, i loved performing that action and was oddly touched that He would allow me to do such a thing for Him. through surrender, we find bliss and, yes, even pleasure.

on the other hand, however, there are many "subs" who serve only within the parameters of what will get them off. in this case, i agree with your friend. these "subs" are very common in scenes and play parties, but instead of actually surrendering, they are merely turned on by the fantasy of surrendering. once the scene is over, they zip up and go. and, during the scene, if a Dom leads them into something unexpected and outside of what they have come to expect from their fantasy, they immediately snap out of their "sub" mindset because it is no longer the fantasy they want. i've seen this several times. these types of "subs" pretend it's about the Dom but, in reality, control the scene and make sure it is always what they want from it. therefore, they never reach a point of actual surrender. this is the type of focus on personal pleasure that is unacceptable to me as a slave and submissive. it should always be about the Dom and we, in return, find a beautiful existence through it.

You can read the rest of the question and answer article here.

Next: How It Works: A Master's Perspective

Warning: Sociopathic or Psychopathic Masters

2010-12-10T08:46:00.002+00:00

Link: http://j.mp/psycho-masters

There's a certain breed of Master out there who thinks being a slave is whatever they say it is, and if you do not accept their definition of slave: "you're not a real slave". This is classic manipulation, one many less experienced slaves find hard to respond to, but a form of manipulation used to defraud you of the right to consent to the particular kind of slavery that you are designed for.

A psychopath, see Hare's checklist here, is a person who not only finds it extremely difficult to empathise with others, to see things from other people's perspective, but also doesn't want to. The world is divided into two: them and everyone else who aren't 'people with needs' but 'opportunities for exploitation'. They just don't care about the rest of us.

You know when you meet a psychopath: unless you have something they need or want, they're cold and aloof and won't think twice about betraying or lying to you to get what they want. They are compulsive liars, whatever they've promised you will either not come true or will cost you dearly. If they show caring emotions, it's a pretence.

Sociopath or Psychopath?

We find it hard to call a spade a spade and we often feel better when we project our good intentions onto others so it's no surprise to find psychopathy alive and doing very well in society at large and even being downgraded to sociopathy or both terms being used interchangeably. Even among some psychologists there can be little distinction offered. Sociopathy is often portrayed as milder, less harmful to life, and psychopathy is a word that captures the public's lust for blood and guts.

However, as psychologist Robert D. Hare says on p. 19 of his book Snakes In Suits: When Psychopaths Go To Work :

Sociopathy is not a formal psychiatric condition. It refers to patterns
of attitudes and behaviors that are considered antisocial and
criminal by society at large, but are seen as normal or necessary by
the subculture or social environment in which they developed.
Sociopaths may have a well-developed conscience and a normal
capacity for empathy, guilt, and loyalty, but their sense of right and
wrong is based on the norms and expectations of their subculture
or group. Many criminals might be described as sociopaths.

How many of us in our pursuit of fairplay among equals use sociopathy as a euphemism for what is clearly psychopathy? And the fact that we feel the need to sugar coat psychopathy explains - certainly from an evolutionary perspective - why it's so successful and goes on largely undetected: we refuse to see the blindingly obvious about other people.

So taking the safety of the rose-tinted spectacles off for a moment, when you come across these angry or uncaring Masters it's obvious by their complete disregard for you and everyone else that their motivation for control and power is not the symbiotic joy of serving someone by being served, or the joy of helping someone realise their true altruistic calling in life, or the joy of having the power to change and mould someone into being something better or more their true self. No, their motivation is just pure selfishness, selfish gain and selfish pleasure. How many criminal psychopaths justify their actions by blaming the victims, by saying they had it coming to them by being "so easily duped"? Make no mistake about it, if you come across a psychopath you are just one of many suckers and victims.

Here's the danger of the psychopath's still waters:

Because I'm programmed to be selfless, I can't help finding such Masters attractive!! And this even though I realise such people are incapable of getting the best out of anyone, because you have to give to others in order to receive. I mean look at me, I haven't put sociopathic Masters in inverted commas, I haven't spelt Masters and its corresponding pronouns with small letters, and I've used the sociopath euphemism in the title. My altruistic nature, so crucial to what makes me a consenting slave, identifies them as real Masters!

Well...If a slave is to reach his full potential, indeed if a slave is to survive, he must either steer clear of such Masters - be they the ultimate temptation or not - or such a slave needs to know what he's getting into and live with the consequences.

One key consequence is that a psychopathic Master can't and doesn't love you, He only sees you in terms of how useful you are to Him. And giving yourself to someone so completely and not being loved for it is deeply emotionally scarring, which, over time, becomes destructive if you fall in love with Him. If you thought unrequited love felt bad, you ain't felt nothing yet!

Let's outline the difference between a Master that's good for a slave and one that is a sociopath or psychopath. A good Master is one who recognises that he is doing a slave a kindness, a service if you will, by allowing the slave to serve Him. He therefore often treats the slave with kindness and respect, expresses his joy, and even shows gratitude for a job well done. This feedback is massively important to a slave, it's massively reassuring. Even a simple "good job" is enough to instruct the slave on what is pleasing to the Master, on what gives Him pleasure.

A psychopathic Master doesn't care for kindness, He just wants the job done to His satisfaction and He's already forgotten about the slave when He's done absorbing the pleasure your hard work has created or provided. You get very little positive feedback of any verbal or emotional kind or you get it one minute and not the next, a proverbial blowing of hot and cold to manipulate you then drop you when He's done. This only compounds your lack of self-esteem in making you feel useless and worthless - and no slave who gives his all and does everything for someone else is either of those - yet it's a very effective psychological tool in getting you to give even more and become even more dependent on the psychopath in order to get some or any emotion out of Him: You become addicted to the abuse and desperate for even a drop of affection. Let's face it, if we shared a penny each time we heard a Master refer to us as "worthless scum", we'd need a Swiss Bank Account and non-domicile status, not John Gacy or Jeffrey Dahmer.

Still after expressing it like that I can't question the validity of such Masters.

At the end of this post I link to an article on psychopathy and one paragraph of it says:

The reasons we look up to these conscience impaired people are unclear. Recent Bond film Casino Royale didn't shy away from acknowledging Bond's psychopathic tendenciesMost likely it has something to do with the confidence they exude, the ease they seem to feel in any situation—a trait that comes easily in someone essentially incapable of fear or anxiety. Maybe we’re easily suckered in by their natural glibness and charm. Or maybe on some level we envy the freedom they have, with no burden of conscience or emotion.

Sociopaths/psychopaths could very well be our last temptation if we altruistic trusting submissive types are not careful.

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Here's an excellent article and resource on psychopathy - including a test to see if you are or anyone you know is a psychopath - it's surprisingly more common than we think, the FBI estimates that 1 in 7 office workers is a sociopath: http://www.damninteresting.com/the-unburdened-mind

The Submissive Gene

2010-12-06T23:28:00.005+00:00

Link: http://j.mp/slave-gene

The imbalance in power is natural to a real Master and slave, and it's more an effect and a product of consenting slavery than a cause of it.

But where does it come from?

Yes, Masters are dominant and slaves are submissive, words so cliché that rarely do people bother to type them past their first three letters, but where does 'Dom' and 'sub' come from? What are the origins of a Person wanting to own Male property?

In my last blog post I described how the imbalance in power is expressed, namely a symbiosis between Power (the Master) and its auxiliary (the slave).

I'll expand on that in this post, citing possible origins of it and why the power in a truly round-the-clock Master/slave relationship can't be equal.

So first, what a Master/slave relationship isn't:

In most Western cultures today we're taught equality and liberty: precious and noble ideals many have given their lives for. Any breaches of equality and liberty that are not agreed by the parties involved are an illegitimate use of power. This is the bedrock of democracy: We all get one equal vote in choosing our leaders, and once chosen, they get to rule for a fixed term provided they maintain a majority and exercise their power within certain agreed constraints.

In the Master/slave world and lifestyle, both parties consent to legitimise the exact opposite of equality and liberty, but why do we?

Thankfully it's more interesting than "the slave wants what Master wants" :)

Consenting slaves who are born this way or develop a very deep need to be enslaved later on are servile by nature, and we also need and want and cherish direction/leadership. Put the two together and you have a slave that is essentially selfless. It's then a question of how selfless the slave can be, for how long, and what's a safe healthy level of selflessness to maintain over the long haul.

In this context, submission is all the little chores and acts and duties that the slave does for the Master, be it to please the Master, serve the Master, obey the Master or otherwise, as expressions of the slave's need to be selfless. Now we don't exactly get that meaning when we look the word submission up in a dictionary, do we? Here's Google Dictionary on the word: submission.

So slavery starts internally with a need to serve, a need to be used and be useful, a need to be selfless, what evolutionary biologists call altruism. We can turn to evolution to understand why such a nature might be born into or develop within a person such that a person wants, of their own volition, to become someone's enslaved and subjugated property at the expense of their own will, ego, and sense of independent self. We turn to the pack-animal nature of human kinship, community and sacrifice.

There was a time when human sacrifice in its most murderous form was believed to be a survival strategy. But what of the people being sacrificed? Many may have fought or tried to escape, but, as we see with suicide bombers today, indoctrination can recreate that horrific barbarity and turn it into mass-murder. It seems that given a certain indoctrination/brainwashing an extreme and deprave form of 'sacrifice' can be unleashed in the modern world, one that is done cowardly and contemptibly but one that is done willingly. Then there are brave and gallant examples of sacrifice where people have given their lives to save others, often complete strangers.

Might some of the sacrificial lambs of ancient times have given their lives willingly for what they believed or were taught to believe?

What greater example of selflessness is there than the ultimate sacrifice to save others? How could the group have survived if there weren't individuals willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for the survival of others?

Of course I'm not advocating life-ending forms of sacrifice, but we can see where some of us might be genetically capable of great feats of sacrifice brought on by a deep and honourable sense of selflessness. Might those who seek real submission and consenting slavery be enacting an ancient genetic code from a time when such selflessness was crucial to kin cohesion and survival?

Yes, times have changed drastically where the rights of the individual are championed and protected and rightly so, but our genetics have hardly changed from when the first ape stood upright (we're still approximately 95% identical to chimpanzees). Some of us still contain within ourselves the ability to be selfless to an extent beyond what modern society might expect of us. It is fate, destiny, survival, the environment and the genetic lottery that have made us, consenting slaves, what we are.

A consenting slave can be no more blamed for his/her nature any more than a heterosexual can be blamed for wanting to propagate the species.

This is something deep down inside the minds of consenting slaves and it needs an outlet, it needs to be expressed. But why?

The brain is a complex organ. Take sleep as perfect example: While our bodies spend up to 8 hours a day sleeping, our brains are busier than ever 'defragmenting', processing, filing, and coming to terms, often creating vivid 3D-like dreams in the process. Whatever our brains are up to in our sleep, one thing's for certain, we all feel refreshed after a good night's sleep because our brains have defragmented and rebooted.

Over in the Master/slave, Dom/sub, fetish lifestyle, although these are different aspects of this lifestyle, they all perform a similar function. Those of us "into" any one of these need them to a certain extent in order to feel refreshed, to find order and balance, to reboot, to release or exercise or liberate our true inner selves. These are just some of the beneficial effects of selflessness.

It's then a question of how long for and to what extent we need these aspects.

Where else might selflessness and sacrifice be useful? At some point in any team effort there needs to be leadership to get things done, and getting things done correctly and successfully is crucial to survival either of the project or task or the self or the group. That leadership requires consenting subordination to the leader.

We have evolved to be at our best when we're in one place doing one thing, and for some of us that 'one place doing one thing' is at the feet of a Master selflessly serving Him because survival of the kin would often require altruistic sacrifices from the few or inferior to save or progress the many or superior. The saying "behind every great man is an even greater woman" has a Master/slave equivalent: behind every great King is a flurry of selfless servants.

So what about Masters? Why do they seek to be Dom and to have power? There's no easy way to say it because the negative connotations of the word create all kinds of misunderstandings but we are talking about a situation where opposites attract: Masters seek power and dominance because they are essentially selfish (but not necessarily in a bad way as I'll explain).

Selfishness does not mean Masters don't care about their property: Masters are often very possessive and protective of their belongings. It does not have to mean they don't care about other people, but it does mean they want their slave to serve them and not the other way around. It does mean they want to own and prosper and win. It does mean they want to get ahead and not be left behind while others prosper. Lonesome selfishness may be limited in its effect but group selfishness, "Us Against The World", is a vital ingredient to the survival of the kin. Vegetarians look away now: if there's only one cow left standing in the field a Master wants it killed and eaten by Him and His kinship group. He doesn't want to be the one left starving while some other Master is busy filling His chops.

A Master is a hunter/gatherer type of evolved ape and if He's an intelligent ape He'll know how to get the best out of His property to maximise His own chances of survival and progress (what in fetish terms today is often called 'pleasure and comfort'). A slave is an additional pair of hands, an additional mind and body brought under the control of the Master. Used correctly a slave can be transformed from a piece of ass into an asset.

Why else are Masters often seen as bigger and stronger or wiser and more able than their slaves? Even in a purely fetish scenario a Master will act or sound or dress in such and such way and not in another way.

Masters and slaves look at the health of the body, the sanity and intelligence of the mind and the accumulation of wealth for signs of health and vitality just like everybody else for the same reasons as everybody else: survival.

Youth is prince of the jungle because younger usually means 'longer to live'. Those not attracted to those much older than themselves are subconsciously applying the survival strategy that a large age gap means a greater chance of spending your retirement alone with either an urn to hold or a grave to visit. And if it's hard to survive now, it's a lot harder when we're elderly, where group kinship becomes even more important to survival.

But a younger slave might be attracted to an older Master because age is the surest proof of ability to survive. What else is the father figure all about if it's not for the experience of how best to survive on this cruel unstable planet? Let's not forget we evolved at a time when we didn't know why the ground shook, we didn't know our planet was round or what the 'fire in the sky' was or why the weather would sometimes become 'angry' with us. Most people need leadership and guidance of one kind or another because we evolved on a planet and we still live on a planet where anything that can go wrong often will go wrong and at a time when we don't have all the facts and info in order to make informed decisions. And informed decisions are vital to survival.

What further proof do we need that this is all to do with how our genes have evolved to survive?

We can now look to see how selflessness is balanced by selfishness. In exchange for a Master's leadership, guidance, and protection, and for the greater chance of survival that ownership as a better Man's property provides, a slave offers his selfless services. Both are content and fulfilled because we build a safe environment in which to live long and prosper. Again we find unity and leadership proving itself far more productive than division, discord, disagreement and disunity.

Are slaves selfless because our mothers breast-fed us too long or our mothers didn't want us getting hurt in the playground so they only let us out dressed like American footballers, or are we servile and selfless because that's our genetic gift and currency in persuading Masters to own and protect us so that in helping Them survive, we survive alongside Them?

Of course not all Masters and slaves are identically Dominant or submissive. Like many aspects of our nature it's a spectrum of shades and variables. Some want total control and absolute power. Others knowing that such totals and absolutes require having or being a 24/7/365 slave which they can't or don't want to provide have to make do with some kind of less-than-total external ownership. Then there are the weekenders, the day-trippers, the 18-25s club ;), experiencing temporary allusions to our chequered evolutionary past.

You might now be thinking "Wait a minute! It's not truly altruistic to give of yourself selflessly so that you can increase your own chances of survival". How very clever you are! As physicists seem to be discovering there's no such thing as perfection. Biologists are discovering there's probably no such thing as pure altruism or pure selfishness. Often in biology selfishness very cleverly and even cunningly disguises itself as altruism.

Survival is a double-edged sword, a tight-rope we all have to work together in various ways in order to get to the other side. Marriage, love, friendship, companionship, competition, leadership, Dom/sub, equality are all methods of survival (yes, science does explain love perfectly).

Don't like slave gene altruism? I'll get the whip now, Sir ;)

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Next Chapter: What Master & slave Mean In TPE Ownership

<< Back to Evolution of Male property

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Why Are There Masters and slaves?

2010-11-25T06:59:00.012+00:00

Link: http://j.mp/why-op

Why are there Men who want to own Male property and enslave them? Why is there Male property that wants to be owned and enslaved?

First let me introduce you to Merlin, the greatest and most loyal servant of all time, the owned property of his Master, Prince Arthur:

Trust

We start here because without trust there are no Masters and slaves, it just doesn't work or even exist.

There are those who think being a slave means being vulnerable, living in fear and danger, but these are far from the best slavish qualities, and counterproductive if a Master wants to get the best uses out of His property for the longest possible time. This is because any slave who is preoccupied with their own harm and their own demise isn't really focused on the Master's pleasure and comfort. A wise Master soon realises He's the one being controlled and manipulated and no Master likes to be treated like a bitch.

So it's surprising to some slaves to discover that it's very often the Master who raises the issue of trust and is the one looking for trust. If Masters are to get Their way They soon learn They need the slave to trust them. They need to trust Their slaves as well because They need Their slaves to be reliable, productive and have access to all kinds of areas of Their Masterly lives, including Their life itself.

Because of the unequal exchange in power, trust keeps one from destroying the other.

Here's Merlin and His Master Prince Arthur showing us how trust is done:

Love

If trust is the issue that Masters and slaves cannot exist without, love is the oxygen to the brain that Masters and slaves shouldn't and can't live without. It's a very simple concept: some Masters can't imagine this but did You know Your slave admires and worships You? He loves doing your ironing, polishing Your shoes and the high honour of fulfilling you sexually. For a real slave it's all about making Your life more comfortable. You are the center of his world. Because he loves You. You fulfil him. You give his life meaning. You make his slavish life worth living. And he repays You in service, loyalty, love and worship.

Likewise, You love being the one in charge, and the object of worship. You love being served and waited on. You love the reliability, dedication, companionship, and devotion. You love being the center of someone else's world. You love being someone else's universe. You love the deep sense of trust. You love how he loves You. I could go on but in short You love Your property.

If You don't love Your slave and property or he doesn't love You, You're both just going through the motions. Sure the ship may sail but it's an empty cargo.

Of course there are also those who have been hurt in love so being in a more controlled situation is appealing. What these people need to remember is that love is always a risk. It's like gambling: you never know what the outcome will be, but if you win, the prize is enormous and life-enhancing. And you have to be in it to win it.

Here's the greatest servant of all Merlin serving his Master out of love :

Liberation

Doing things most people wouldn't. Doing things taboo or weird. Becoming someone else. Becoming your true self. Letting go of all that goes on in the big wide world. Being isolated. Being different. Lifting the mask and being at peace with yourself. Feeling safe and accepted for who you are.

One of the greatest paradoxes of life is that giving ourselves to someone else willingly, being owned and controlled by another is a cathartic experience of liberation! This is why kink and fetish are the mainstay for so many. Fetish is an expression of being liberated from society's "norms". But it serves a greater purpose than that.

We're all fed society's "norms" as if everybody were Catholic, male, and oblong. But we're not. For the "norms" of society to be healthy they need the pressure valves that are at its fringes.

Many describe a sense of boredom with the vanilla "norm" without realising that their escape to society's fringes are a public service in itself. Master X gives slave Y direction. Slave Y gives Master X freedom from the mundane and menial so He can be more focused and productive. Master X moves forward in His career, makes more money, provides for Himself and His property.

By taking ownership of a slave and making the slave His property, a Master is liberating the slave from the demands of the outside world, a world where the slave doesn't really belong.

Where is society harmed in that exchange?

Compare it to slave Z who couldn't find a Master in a society that stringently forbids it and slave Z drifts without a captain. Low paid jobs, no real interest in the society around him, or unable to interact with it alone. Master W can't risk finding a slave so His thought processes are constantly interrupted by things He was supposed to have a lowly slave do, He's denied His birth right.

You're probably missing Merlin and his Master Prince Arthur by now so here's another instalment of Merlin's ownership, Prince Arthur's birth right. If society can't or won't understand then it's Us Against The World:

Oneness

The unit or unity of one, the Unimatrix: sometimes the closeness a slave and Master feel, be it sexually or in terms of ownership and obedience, it's as if the slave has been absorbed by the Master, as if the slave has become a part of the Master. This oneness is hard to find and even harder to match elsewhere. Why do so many Masters and slaves attain this oneness or seek it? I think only evolution can answer that convincingly (like most things about life).

Humans are pack animals, we survive in pairs and groups, not in isolation. It stands to reason that we would evolve in ways that maximise our chances of survival.

Some real slaves don't feel complete or whole without a Master. A slave is only 50% whole, whereas a Master is 150%. Together there is balance and harmony. The norm is for the majority in the clan to strive for equality but all clans, families, tribes, and kingdoms have leaders who rule over their subjects. A Master and slave are a more thorough more individualistic example of this. It gives Masters an outlet to become Rulers of their own domain, and why slaves seek Masters who do that comes down to the nature of power and its auxiliary.

Power and its Auxiliary

"Slaves are the auxiliary verbs of society", but don't quote me on that!

An auxiliary verb in language is a word that helps verbs form their compound tenses, mode, and, in English, the interrogative form e.g. 'have' helps other verbs in English form perfect tenses, 'do' helps other verbs form questions. In the question, "do you come here often?", the word 'do' doesn't actually mean anything, it has no independent significance or importance, but without it the verb 'come' can't form questions (grammatically that is).

An auxiliary is something that by itself may not have significance or use, but put together with something else, it becomes indispensible because it helps, and even sometimes enables, other things to function or transform or get ahead.

How many slaves need to feel useful? How many slaves like the idea of serving sexually or domestically because it gives them a sense of purpose and fulfilment? Welcome to the world of auxiliaries.

We call it Master and Servant...

Masters who like to be served domestically like to be freed from boring mundane every day humdrum repetitive chores. They want to be free to think and plan and decide, free to enjoy themselves, free to get ahead.

We also have doctors and auxiliary nurses in surgery. It's clear in that working relationship where the authority lies but that authority would be hard pressed to do its job properly without its auxiliaries.

Slaves as auxiliaries need guidance, rules, regulations and structure, and these are just some of the ways a Master takes care of and gets the best out of His property. A Master gets a range of services of the domestic or sexual kind but he's also providing one to His slave, allowing the slave to feel More Than Useless as the song goes by giving His slave purpose. Here's Merlin and Prince Arthur again:

Through evolutionary studies we understand that in a competitive environment it's better survival-wise for two people to work together towards one aim than for everyone to go through life alone. For some, working together as equals is their genetic makeup, for others one party naturally takes the lead over the other. Either way the genes for teamwork are more successful in being passed on and the genes for wanting to be alone are less successful.

If You're a Master, You're dominant for a reason. You may not have a kingdom in the 'traditional' sense but there was a time when You would have. Evolution changes much more slowly than time so You are still genetically dominant, superior and regal, and Your slave and servant is still genetically servile, obedient, and selfless.

What's that? More Merlin and Prince Arthur needed? Here's a stunning clip of Merlin protecting Prince Arthur from the evil 'Song of Death'. Merlin's reward for saving Prince Arthur's life is that he is given the high honour and most trusted position of being Prince Arthur's manservant. What a fitting reward it is, too:

(A better quality version is viewable here although it doesn't have the manservant reward at the end of it - i swear people on youtube just don't get Merlin at all lol)

Loyalty

Loyal to a fault, that's what real slaves are. It's integral to the service, it's a part of the nature of being owned. Loyalty is to a slave, what wet is to falling into a pond. Others can set a clock by a slave's loyalty to His Master, and predict the slave's future actions by it. And who better to show us how that's done than, you've guessed it, Prince Arthur's manservant...

Here's Merlin, like a puppy, following his Master into danger - notice how the ones setting the test already knew Merlin would do exactly what he does. A real slave's loyalty is so certain, it's predictable:

(The next instalment can be seen here. I'm nothing if not efficient :P)

Sacrifice

What's the ultimate benefit and attraction for Masters to those who are truly submissive, subservient and selfless? When you have all of the above, Your slave is someone capable of something You can't just get from anyone. He's capable of incredible feats of sacrifice. From his love, loyalty, and worship, he will sacrifice everything for You, his Lord and Master. And all he asks in return is the privilege of serving You.

Who better to demonstrate this to us than Merlin. Here he is drinking a poisoned chalice to save his Master's life (again!)

Part 2 of Merlin's sacrifice can be seen here.

Would it be too much of a stretch of the imagination to say that the daily sacrifice a slave makes for his Master is what makes a slave a Master's best friend?:

Practical Cases

Imagine you're a very busy person in a demanding job or career and everything depends on key decisions you make. Only you can't devote all your time to those decisions because you have to cook, wash-up, wash and iron your clothes, or run them down to the dry cleaner's, and you have to shop, clean the house, and even groom yourself… and you think: "if only I could get someone else to do all this for me".

You could marry and have a housewife do all that for you, only women are our equals and such notions are grossly outdated. Besides women don't really do it for you in the bedroom. And then you think a boyfriend might be a good idea but trouble is boyfriends want equality and all the drama that comes with that (You might still want or have a boyfriend, there are many dominant couples out there). You could pay people but that means having strangers in your home often when you're not there with access to all your stuff and then there's employment law to deal with, trust issues, reliability…too much hassle. (In England, most bathrooms, toilets, and kitchens get cleaned the day before the cleaner arrives. In some English homes even most of the dusting gets done prior to the arrival of the cleaner, such is our reluctance to let strangers see our true selves!)

So you realise you want someone on a more personal level who can perform a stack of jobs and be versatile as a personal lackey and slave where You're the one in control. You want someone who wants to help and serve You purely out of being useful, someone You can trust and rely on, someone who can be somewhat a companion and a helper, and be fulfilled just by fulfilling You, and what a bonus that as long as they are in your service you don't have to pay them. You learn that such people are submissive, servile, and slavish and take great pride in serving You. Such people can be cleaners, houseboys, servants, butlers, personal assistants, body servants, sexslaves, you name it, even bookkeepers! Think how much all that would cost you normally, and you have it all at the click of Your fingers.

So you go looking for a servant, slave, auxiliary… You're now a Master. Welcome to the world of real life slavery, Sir, how may i be of service? :)

Oh and, My Lord, Prince of Men, have i ever told you...

(It's worth noting, the UK being a constitutional monarchy, our Master/slave lifestyle is the staple diet on Saturday night prime time uber-liberal BBC television. Merlin is a family show about a time when Men owned other men, a feature that runs through the majority of British and human history, so who said we're not the norm?)

You might be interested to know what became of Merlin and his Master Prince Arthur. Well, they were reborn in the 21st Century and at a chance meeting in a woman's toilet cubicle of a London nightclub, all the memories of their past life came flooding back:

Perhaps we're also really Masters and slaves from a past time living in this modern world trying to find our way back to the way things used to be ...

The next chapter in this series takes these issues to the evolutionary level:

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Next Chapter: The Submissive Gene
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