Ingredients

1/2 oz grape flavored vodka

1/2 oz watermelon puckers

Orange flavored soda or energy drink

Directions

Pour vodka and puckers into a martini shaker with ice and shake well to chill. Fill a pint glass 1/3 full of soda or energy drink. Strain the chilled vodka and puckers mixture into a shot glass. Drop chilled shot into pint glass just before your ready to take the shot. Have a “Grape Ape”ril Fools Day! :)

I see a lot of my friends jumping headfirst into relationships with kids in the picture already, men and women alike. And it seems no matter how much I warn them they think it’s ok to involve their kids with their new mate almost immediately. In my opinion, this is really, really bad decision-making by both parties.

Having raised two girls that weren’t mine, I can tell you that not only does this negatively affect the person that isn’t the biological parent if the relationship doesn’t work out, but more so the children. Introducing your child to a new mate is irresponsible and selfish. Like I’ve said before, if you find out that he/she is right for you in the long run then what did it hurt to wait? The alternative is your child begins a relationship with someone that may not be in their lives six months or a year down the road, and if you think that won’t negatively affect their life, you’re a retard. You can try and justify it all you like but when ten out of ten child therapists recommend against it, there’s really nothing to argue.

But I wanted to focus on men meeting women that already have children. My warning to you is make real sure you are in it for the long haul before you allow your new woman to introduce you into her kids’ lives. That is, unless you have no heart.

And what I mean by that is any guy with a heart, with the ability to love children, will get attached to a child they are involved with on that level. Both of the girls I raised I now see as my children. Why not? I did everything a good father would do for and with them. I earned the right to call both of them my daughters.

One was 12 when I was first introduced to her and since I married her mother, even though we are divorced now, I still have a connection to her. In fact, she is graduating this year from my alma mater with a PhD in Education. (Try and tell me that wasn’t partially due to my parenting).

However, the other was two when I met her and that’s a whole different ball game. The 12 year old knew I wasn’t her father. The two year old had no choice but to see me as exactly that.

And for the first time in my life, my parenting skills were really tested and I found out I was great at it. And up until the age of six, I was “Dad.”

I actually started my business so I could stay home with her while her mother worked. But as the child turned six, my relationship with her mother was deteriorating.

This little girl’s grandmother told me once, “Some people are good parents, Matt, and some just aren’t and my daughter is one of them.” In other words, even my ex’s own mother doubted my ex’s motivations and intentions when it came to her child. Even while we were together, it was like I was the only parent. I did everything, from making every meal for the child to taking and picking her up from school.

So when we broke up, I had a bond with this little girl that I think even few biological fathers feel. She looked to me for everything…because I was “Dad.”

So what’s my point in telling you all this?

I was cut off from that little girl’s life for no good reason. I even offered child support in exchange for letting me keep a connection. I spent $30,000 in court suing her mother for visitation and almost won in a state that doesn’t recognize third-party parents. I missed her so much that I almost changed that law in Missouri.

But in the end, I lost. What I’ve come to realize is that the little girl lost more. She lost the one good parent she had.

Do I regret being in that relationship? Absolutely not. But I do wish that maybe I had waited to let my ex involve her in my life.

The moral of the story is tread lightly when it comes to rushing to play daddy. It might not only be your heart that gets broken.

Weigh your options. If you can’t take whatever he’s emanating, look for another boss. If that isn’t happening, consider the amount of discomfort you’re having at work versus the pain of looking for a new job.

Avoid “the hive.” Sometimes sharing negativity with others provides instant, temporary gratification, but remember– negativity only begets negativity. Try to stay positive, look toward resolving the problem, not trying to add to it.

Be fair. If your boss is being unfair, stand your ground. As an employee, you have rights. Your job duties were never written with you being kicked around in mind, every company wants employees to be happy. It’s conducive to work output and minimizes workplace issues from occurring.

Document wrongdoings. If you feel like you’re legitimately being wronged, and I mean legitimately being wronged (not being forced to do actual work!), document times, dates, events, and who was involved. Keep notes and if it occurs on a regular basis, take the issue to Human Resources. Remember, despite workplace hierarchy, everyone has rights and no one has the right to violate them.

Find an off-the-clock outlet. Don’t turn to drinking, drugs or anything toxic to your body and psyche for release. These things are a quick release. If you can channel your frustrations into positive energy, say like working out, you’re getting the best of whatever he, she or life is throwing at you. The best revenge is always success.

Utilize vacation days. Get the hell away every now and again. Forget work for a few days and take time to redefine yourself outside the office. Often times, as adults, our very definition of ourselves becomes our jobs. Suze Orman always says your job does not define you. Your job gives you the resources to define yourself.

Motivate yourself. Nothing is a greater source of motivation than an unenjoyable existence, and nothing is more unenjoyable than having a D-bag as a boss. Use this heat to launch your career rocket. Work hard, set goals, and strike at opportunities to move up. With a wink and a smile you can always “thank” your boss for being the driving force behind your promotion(s).

Big picture. Keep in mind your boss isn’t picking on you personally, he or she’s trying to maximize company output in out-of-touch ways. Sure, you may seem like just a cog in your boss’ machine, but big-picture-wise, your boss is just a slightly bigger cog in a bigger machine. The dependency factor is almost mutual.

Keep karma. Take peace in knowing that D-bags rarely excel in life. If your boss is truly the crown jewel of morons, he or she will forever be that. You very rarely see out-of-touch nitwits rising to levels higher than middle management. Keep your wits about you and your big picture goals in mind. Though your boss may be your boss now, if his or her management styles are that out of whack, they’ll be spotted once they try to rise above anything other than mediocre. Use this as memorable fuel for your journeys of exactly how not to be.

For starters, sunblock and Sunscreen vary in textures that are important for guys who don’t normally apply moisturizers. Sun block is much thicker in texture but will block more UVA/UVB rays and usually contains Titanium Dioxide or Zinc Oxide to help boost the effect without having to reapply several times a day. Sunscreen is a smoother, sheer texture that works well as part of a daily regimen, but may wear off and leave you exposed if you lead a more active lifestyle.

There are many schools of thought on how often you need to reapply Sun Protection when out in the sun. The golden rule is to apply a coat during the strongest hours of the sun between noon and 3pm, and if you are going to be outside, applying twice during those peak hours is recommended. It’s important to apply thoroughly but not too generously as most sun products penetrate immediately. There is no need to slather loads of Sun Protection, it’s best to re-apply rather than apply too much.

Here are my top 5 sunblocks for men:

1. BullFrog Marathon Mist Continuous Spray SPF 50

Bullfrog has been long regarded as the leader in sunblock and sun care protection. World-class surfers have given it the title of ‘amphibious wonder’.  This stuff is like the superglue of sunblock; it stays on you through anything. They also share a few useful sun protection tips on their website. $9.49

2. Jack Black Sun Guard Oil-Free Very Water/Sweat Resistant Sunscreen SPF 30

Who’s to say that sunblock is just for the outdoorsy type.  Jack Black sunscreen formulas are oil-free and so moisturizing that it can be used on the face, scalp, or body with no stickiness or greasiness. The Jack Black line is for men who are active, yet product conscious but without the high maintenance fuss. $16.00

3. La Roche-Posay Anthelios 40 Suncreen

Breakout the pocket book for this sunscreen as it said to be number one for everybody who is serious about sunscreen. It has garnered the attention from its concise clinical study proving it’s specially formulated ingredients Mexoryl, helps to protect the skin from wrinkle-causing UVA rays. (Most sunscreens only protect against UVB rays) stability, broad-spectrum protection, noncomedogenic that won’t clog pores.  It’s $32.00

4. Neutrogena Spectrum; Advanced Sunblock Lotion SPF 55

Sometimes men find it easier to just walk into a drugstore and search for their sun block of choice. In doing so, Neutrogena Spectrum Advance Sunblock Lotion has a SPF 55 and is a good choice to be had. Its ultra sheer lightweight formula protects against the major causes of sun with its comprehensive approach from the full intensity of the sun in a lightweight consistency. Retails $8.75

5. Banana Boat Ultra Defense Broad Spectrum Sunscreen, SPF 100

This one is pretty popular, a household name and still charts as a main contender to the vast growing field of sunblock products on the market. It has a sweat and water resistant formula that allows you to stay protected throughout the day. Banana Boats Ultra Defense boasts the highest protection, a SPF of 100.  Retails $10.99

Regardless of which you choose, it’s good to be prepared no matter what kind of approach you utilize in your daily sun care regimen. The added sun protection will give your outdoor lifestyle an extra bit of relief and a lot more fun, in knowing that you have made an informed decision in protecting “the skin your in.”

eNVy

You are obviously quite ill, sir. Assuming you’re currently not in some sort of talks with record labels, why do you think you’re not signed?

I really don’t give a s***, is why. I don’t try. Getting signed doesn’t concern me, I just do what I love to do and fame happens to become a by-product of that. I don’t eat because I want to poo. Nonetheless, I have a bunch of work in the mix with some pretty major artists, so f*** a label. You’ll still see your boy comin out on top!

Nicely put. How long have you been doing what you do?

Been doin’ this s*** since pengu was chillin’ in an igloo [Laughs]. Nah, I’ve been writing since I was 9, though only been recording for about a year. But every day, every week, and every month I learn new things and I’m constantly changing my style up, trying to keep this ish versatile. But yeah, so far things have been smooth, a lot of official s***.

When did you first realize you had something going on?

It’s what I’m best at. It’s an everyday thing to produce satisfying music, there is a lot of garbage out there nowadays…. although, honestly, I am nowhere near what I want to develop as an artist and that is what drives me to make music everyday of my life. Even though it seems like I haven’t been dropping a lot of music lately, it’s because I have an album on the way filled with non-stop bangers and surprising features.

After hearing what I’ve heard from you, I’m seriously looking forward to your album. I’m sure all your fans and followers feel the same. Is there any more you can tell us about your album like the drop date, maybe some juicy details, or teasers?

Can’t speak on it too much just know there is going to be a quantity of quality. That’s why I haven’t been releasing much. And for details? Hodgy Beats from Odd Future is featuring on my album. If anyone has not heard of them they need to step their life game up ASAP, and a couple more artists I’ll wait to reveal. Nonetheless, what I have in stock for the album so far will be keeping people busy for quite some time.

What’s crackin’ on your iPod, or music player nowadays?

My 32GB iPhone is at full capacity. So really, I would be naming artists and genres on days end. As for new music, I “F” with Das Racist. They have a real dope approach to this music industry, satirical yet they come hard as “F.” And of course Odd Future, I believe they have what hip-hop is missing right now. That about sums it up. Oh, and Waka Flocka when I dumb the F out.

The obligatory question: can you talk about some of your influences?

Anyone out of the norm.

Fair enough. With all the file sharing, music stealing, bootlegging, pirating, etc., how can an independent or underground artist survive nowadays?

Well, the only logical way an artist can survive nowadays, with bootlegging and people leaking albums and such, is to honestly take advantage of whatever is out there. Even with mixtape material you will make zero dollars. Though if you build your name up, when you throw a concert you can make millions- Lil Wayne for example. Never lose inspiration, never stop grinding, and networking. Get out there and live this s***! But to really answer your question, every underground artist is financially f*****. Sell drugs, people.

Haha. Finally, what is your Male Standard?

Ain’t gonna be all corny and soundin’ like I’m trying to be all-motivational, so honestly- just do your thing. Forget anyone questioning you and never say sorry. People follow leaders. I usually say 5% is what happens to you in life and 95% is how you react…

Alyssa Marie

When did you first realize you had something going with your MC skills?

I don’t think there was one specific event that solidified it for me. Ever since the first verse I recorded I knew it was something I had to keep doing for myself, but I think the responses from people surrounding me is what made me realize I could possibly make something more out of it than just a hobby. I knew I had something “special” when people in their 50′s who normally can’t stand rap were saying they were blown away by my music. I literally witnessed people of that age cry while they were listening to a particular song of mine on more than one occasion. I think that’s when I knew I had something worth putting everything I had into.

Okay, obligatory question: I have to ask what your musical influences are, including what you are listening to and really feeling right now.

My biggest influence as far as rappers go has to be Eminem, just for the simple fact that 3 of his albums make it to my list of favorite rap albums of all time. Along with him there’s Joe Budden, Slug from the group Atmosphere, Pun, Pac, Bliss n Eso, and the list goes on. And then of course there’s my man Wise, but you’ll find out more about him later.

I watched you talk about Wise in your video ”Wise Words.” Can you share a little bit about that situation and what you gained from it?

Definitely. Martin (Wise) was something of a mentor to me in music and also in life in many ways as well. He helped me in my process of discovering myself in both. It’s honestly difficult for me to break down the relationship him and I shared, but it was one of the most natural and comfortable connections with another person I’d ever had. Even though it unfortunately ended on a bad note between us I never stopped trying to make him proud. As my buzz continued to grow I wondered if he knew, or if he heard any of my new music, and if so what he thought about it. Little did I know at the time he heard it all, because as corny as it may sound to someone else he was with me every verse I recorded. As far as what I gained from him I couldn’t begin to describe. He taught me things I find myself referencing back to literally every day, and that was even before I found out he had passed away. Outside of that though he was just an absolutely amazing person I feel blessed to have known. Keep your ears open for W!SE REBORN.

Where else do you draw inspiration from?

I draw inspiration from everywhere, however I think the beat is what inspires my inspiration, if that makes sense. The beat is what pulls certain things and emotions out of me. I’ve said it before, but most of the time I have no idea what I’m writing about until about a third of the way into a verse, I just let the beat take me where it wants and I go with it. I’m definitely inspired heavily by my own emotions and things going on in my life though, and on top of that listening to something dope by another artist can inspire me to write something dope of my own.

Is there anything you see differently about the game or hip-hop in general, from a female perspective?

I think I see a lot different than most rappers, I’m not sure if it’s due to me being a female or not. From where I’m standing I see a lot of people taking the game and their status for granted, and I guess as a female trying to make a name you don’t have that option. None of this is going to come easy for me. I’m not a gimmick, I’m trying to sell my mind and not my body like a lot of other female rappers might. There is one thing about me though; I’m not out to prove myself to anyone just because I’m a female. I’m doing what I do because I love it and whoever wants to ride with me is more than welcome and greatly appreciated.

Don’t laugh at me, but I was discussing the best female rappers of all time with my friend and she laughed when I brought up Lisa ”Left Eye” Lopes. Who do you think some of the best female MC’s are?

To keep it real with you, I don’t listen to many female rappers. I’ll never listen to a rapper just because they’re dope “for a female”; they have to be dope period for me to actually mess with them. I’ve heard songs here and there from some that I can respect, it’s just rare for me to find one that makes me want to keep coming back. I have crazy respect for Lauryn Hill – she’s insanely talented. Of course there’s Jean Grae, Left Eye, Kim. It’s really anyone who got they’re foot in the game somehow, Nicki is doing that right now. If we’re talking outside the industry though, there is one female rapper that I love and actually listen to regularly. She’s up in Maine I believe and goes by the name of Lady Essence or Lady E. She is ridiculously talented, not just “for a female”; she’s just straight up dope. Poetic lyrics, intricate rhyme schemes, nice flow – she’s the package. Check her out if you haven’t, for real.

Alright, we usually close interviews by asking ”what is your MaleStandard,” but since you’re not male and you seem to have universal standards, I’ll just ask: what’s your standard?

Find out who you are and once you truly do that, do you. Living life by other people’s standards ends with a deathbed full of regret. Also, to throw in a couple very true cliché’s: treat others how you want them to treat you because karma really is the biggest b**** in the world, and don’t leave someone you love angry.

Men and women alike, for the most part, will put on their best face when people start dating. It’s natural, when you are attracted to someone, to want to give a good first impression. This can go on for months or even years, which is why I believe rushing into a serious relationship is never good. You can’t truly say you know someone after a few short months. Hell, I don’t think we can ever truly know someone all together, but the longer you wait to pop the question, the better.

But because I’ve dated a great number of women, I’ve noticed certain characteristics that make it easier for me to spot women that are less likely to make good mates for men that know the deeper a woman’s insecurities, the more likely the relationship will fail. Being able to spot these personality traits in women can make dating a lot more enjoyable.

Some personality traits are givens, right? Possessiveness, neediness and desperation would be my top three. Sometimes you can spot these traits right off the bat and sometimes it takes a while, but the moment you spot them and know they aren’t just having a bad day, most experienced men will run.

But there are a couple of traits that are subtler and are harder to spot until a woman becomes comfortable with you. So let’s focus on those.

Overly “Shy” or “Quiet”

Watch out for overly “shy” or “quiet” women. Oh, they’ll come up with all kinds of reasons for being shy but the bottom line is if the woman you are seeing is too quiet, there’s a reason for it that will eventually drive you crazy. Being shy is usually the result of insecurity.

Everyone has insecurities…everyone, but it’s how you handle and overcome them that is important. If those insecurities manifest themselves in shyness, it’s likely (note “likely”, not “a certainty”) that they have more insecurities than the average woman. Most problems that arise in relationships are due to the insecurities of the players so you’re starting a relationship with someone that is going to probably begin letting those insecurities show about the time she thinks she has you hooked.

Everyone likes a certain amount of attention, but some more than others. Shy people are usually attention-whores in sheep’s clothing.

Need Constant Attention

The other trait I would tell you then to look out for is attention whores. Some are shy about it and some aren’t. Whether they are overly shy or loud, attention-whores are people that need your constant affirmation. The louder ones will be more obvious. But if a woman is truly ok with herself and happy being herself, she won’t need your constant attention.

I know women that will freak out if they don’t know where their man is at all times. I know women that will post picture after picture of themselves on the internet. Why? Why would someone feel the need to post essentially the same picture in different clothes every other day? Because they know that when they do, at least one desperate male will comment something to give them the affirmation they crave because men are visually stimulated more than women are..and, let’s face it, even less attractive females are attractive to someone and women know this. But what I see is women that don’t feel comfortable in their own skin so they post and post pictures so they can get that attention. If a woman is truly good looking and knows it, she wouldn’t feel that need. Women confident in their beauty don’t need to fish for compliments constantly.

Pretenders

But the women you really need to watch out for are the ones who change depending on the setting. I know women that are shy in real life but use the internet to pretend to be something they aren’t. In fact, it’s almost an epidemic online. Using the internet to get that affirmation they need, pretending to be outgoing when in reality they can’t look you in the eyes in person, is a huge red flag.

Find a woman that will be herself and is secure enough with herself that no matter where she is or what she is doing, she doesn’t seem to need constant attention.

I’ve met women that are really beautiful on the outside but once you witness their attention-craving behavior become less attractive. Needing constant affirmation diminishes their beauty somehow. Try to find a woman that realizes she is beautiful and doesn’t desperately reach for your confirmation, because those women, and that confidence level, are extremely sexy and make much better partners in the long run.

I was quite surprised at the response I got when talking to other guys about this, they agreed with me. Albeit, most of them conceded that their own evolution and age was a major factor.

So, what do you guys think? Is age really the key as a man? Is it because looks fade, or sex drive? Or do you think it really is just not possible for a man to not have a sexual thought about any woman they maintain a closeness too?

I think it is possible regardless of age. For a woman closeness to a man through friendship, or sexual attraction can be on completely different playing fields. Is it the same for you?

But the truth is that wearing sunscreen is important. I’ve been lucky enough to inherit my mother’s olive skin. Some people’s skin is more vulnerable to the sun than others and, though I would be naïve to believe I’m invincible to it, I never burn and so damage from the sun isn’t something I worry about much.

However, these last few years I’ve learned to apply sunscreen anyways. The time it takes to apply it is worth the peace of mind. And I think since I’ve spent the time to research this article that was a wise decision.

The truth is it doesn’t matter what skin type you have, the sun has good and bad effects on everyone. We receive vitamin D from the sun and vitamin D helps with the release of serotonin which affects our happiness. People that spend the necessary time in the sun to receive vitamin D are more likely to be happier people. I think too many times we discuss the ill effects of the sun and forget that the sun is not our enemy. It’s not exposure to the sun you should worry about, it’s OVER-exposure. So when you plan to spend more than a half hour out in the sun, you should always apply sunscreen.

1. Skin Cancer

The first and most important reason for this is skin cancer. Carcinoma is one of the most deadly forms of cancer and over-exposure to the sun is the primary cause. But it’s not the only reason. Most of us know this fact already so here are a few ill effects from over-exposure besides cancer.

2. Sun Burn

The first and most obvious is a sun burn. While you may not contract cancer from every sun burn you get, baking in the sun too long can ruin a good vacation or day at the beach. All of us have been burnt before (Yes, I know what I said earlier but you should know better by now then to take everything I say so literally. I can vaguely remember being a little burnt once or twice in my life) it sucks.

3. Age Spots

But less obvious are other reasons like age spots. These are quite unattractive and are the result of melanin in the skin clustering in splotches that are hard to hide and get rid of once they appear.

4. Wrinkles and Sagging

Another reason for sunscreen is it ages your skin as a whole. Sagging and wrinkles are the result of too much time in the sun.

5. Hair Damage

One last thing…everyone always talks about the damage over-exposure does to the skin but rarely what it can do to your hair. Too much sun can make your hair brittle and dry so when you plan to spend a lot of time in the sun; it’s always a good idea to bring along a hat.

Men, especially, seem to have this testosterone-driven avoidance of sunscreen at times, like somehow if you wear sunscreen you are weak. But I’m here to tell you that wearing sunscreen is not weakness. You can be the toughest man in the world but you got nothing on the huge ball of gas that lights up our skies.

1. The Art Of Shaving Full Size Kit $100

The Art of Shaving. As the name states, they are all about giving a great luxury shave. With this kit they certainly deliver! Full size products and a great pure badger brush can be had for an even $100. These folks know shaving, and you won’t be disappointed. Choose from unscented, lemon, lavender, and sandalwood kits.

2. Men-U Shaving Set $99.98

Men-U. Perhaps one of the lesser-known shaving and men’s grooming product companies, Men-U has garnered praise and awards from magazines such as FHM and Men’s Health. A chrome stand and synthetic bristle brush (for the animal conscious readers out there!) start the kit followed by a face wash, shave cream, and moisturizer. All of these are shipped to you in a handy carrying case. Another great deal to get you started!

3. Bluebeard’s Revenge Gift Set $69.75

Bluebeard’s Revenge. The cream that took 2010 by storm, Bluebeard’s Revenge claims and supports superior shaving and beard reduction with consistent use! Especially designed for the gents with a heavier beard this set is an excellent way to take the plunge. The gift set comes with a razor, brush, shave cream and post-shave balm, everything a fellow needs to start his wet shaving journey!

4. Edwin Jagger Gift Set $87.50

Edwin Jagger. A British company with a long history and great products behind their name, one of their most distinctive lines of products contains soothing Sea Buckthorn oil. Their products are also paraben and mineral oil free. A great scent, and choice for the discerning man!

5. Baxter Finley Shave 1-2-3 $70

Baxter of California. Started in 1965, Beverly Hills, this company began as one man’s brainchild of protecting his skin against the California Sun. This collection contains the super close shave formula (a whopping 10 oz/300 ml bottle!), aftershave balm, and a beautiful well-crafted badger brush with the Baxter logo.

6. eShave Start Up Kit $40

eShave. Our next kit is a Men’s Health winner from 2010. The eShave kit contains pre-shave oil, shave cream, aftershave cream, a badger hair brush and a great toiletry bag. As with The Art of Shaving, they give you different scents to choose from: verbena lime, lavender, and white tea. This is a great cream and a great kit, well worth the investment!

7. Anthony Logistics Shave Kit $30

Anthony Logistics. Known for their after shaves and skin toners, this relatively young company at just 10 years old has developed a very good reputation and loyal following in the wet shaving world. Anthony’s kit comes in a nice, see-through bag with pre-shave oil, facial scrub, shave cream and aftershave balm.

- Bonus Shaving Kit -

8. VanDerHagen Luxury Shave Set

Van Der Hagen. Established over 100 years ago, Van Der Hagen provides inexpensive, yet good, wet shaving products for the cost minded shaver. Their previous kit cost under ten dollars but there is a new set to be released on March 24th. It features a pure badger hair brush, acrylic brush stand, large mug with handle and hypo-allergenic shave soap featuring their windmill logo. If you’re a guy on a shoestring budget, this is definitely the kit for you!

Overall, these kits give a wide range of prices and products that are available for the modern wet shaver. Whether you want to go for the full size or a smaller trial kit, these companies and products won’t disappoint in giving you a great, smooth shave.