Mama2Miah PLUS 4

I Love Them, I Love Them Not, I Love Them

noreply@blogger.com (Mama2Miah) — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 06:28:00 +0000

Hey there! I know it has been a while. Apologies. It is getting really hard to do extra stuff since I find myself nursing around the clock lately, plus taking care of every day stuff. Finding time to write is hard. But here I am at 12:30 in the morning hoping to get rid of some pent up frustration.

Today my 14 year old told me he doesn't think I love him and his siblings. A lot of stuff happened earlier that is too much to go into, but I made a comment about how I love him and his siblings so much and asked him if he knew that. He said he didn't know. I asked again, hoping maybe I wasn't clear the first time. Yet, he said he didn't know again. I didn't know what to say after that. Luckily, the baby started crying, so I told him to clean the restroom and walked out to get the baby.

I guess I should be grateful he didn't tell me he hates me. That is what I did to my parents time and time again as a teenager. But, still, it hurt almost the same. I have raised him for 14 years, void of any extra effort, other than the required, from his dad. Yet, I am still the bad guy, as is my husband.

At times like this I try to remind myself that he knows who is really there for him and he will express his gratitude later, but I want it now. I am S.O.L., though. I know from experience. And, in situations like these, I am reminded of my mother.

My mother and I did not have the best relationship while I was growing up, but she was the one who was there. She was there through the excitement and the many times in the hospital, the gross stuff and the pretty. Don't misinterpret, I love my dad. We are good now. He was there every other weekend and on holidays and in the summer, but even then, he was absent in the real parenting. I give him credit for my faith, and my mom...she taught me how to be a mom, more specific, a parent.

She bended over backwards. She took me to where she worked so I could write my papers. She stayed up late with me finishing projects. She took me to every doctor appointment, and stayed in the hospital with me. She worried when another test had to be done or another i.v. put in for the 5th time after the other failures. She always had money for yearbooks and tennis rackets, violins and strings, hairspray and make-up. My school work came first, the housework second. If she and I had somewhere to be on the same day at the same time, my activity took precedent. Braces were paid for and a hair appointments never delayed or missed. I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea.

From her I took the lead, and have done the best I can for my son. At least I think so. Being a parent is tough. As cliche as this is, kids do not come with instructions. Many times I say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, but I am trying. I don't know if I will ever get this parenting thing down to a science, even with five kids. But, they should know I love them, right?

As much as I am doubting myself right now, I know they know I love them. They have to. Otherwise, I have failed. All I can do now is keep up with being mom and do all I can to insure their success and happiness.

Sorry if this was a little depressing, but I needed an outlet. And who better than fellow parents. Thanks for reading and being patient.

FOREVER CHANGED

noreply@blogger.com (Mama2Miah) — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 00:43:00 +0000

It has been some time since I have been here, but for good reason.

Many of you know I was expecting our 5th baby due 01/10/10. As predicted, the baby came earlier! Actually, we predicted the baby would come 12/21/09, but she braced us with her presence on 12/27/09 at 8:24 am. What a wonderful day.

Honestly, I was expecting a boy. At first, I was convinced the baby was a girl (we did not find out the sex at the ultrasound). Then, I started dreaming it was a boy, and everyone was telling me it was a boy. So, when the day came, I was expecting Joshua to be here. Lo and behold, Emma, came into our lives. What a wonderful surprise!

I LOVE surprises!

So, as of 12/27/09, my life has been forever changed. Funny thing is when I had my oldest 14.5 years ago, I decided all I wanted were boys if I ever had any more children. Why?? Well, I did not want a mini-me running around. I do remember what I was like as a child and a teenager. I did not want any form of payback from a daughter of my own. In my opinion, boys are much easier.

Now, I have 2 boys and 3 girls. 3 times the hormones, 3 times the drama. We have seen plenty of drama from our oldest daughter. And now, our 2nd oldest daughter, who is only 1, is now showing signs of drama queen abilities.

There is also 3 times the hair, 3 times the clothes, 3 times getting ready, 3 times getting nails done ( I can't wait for that, though), 3 times the boy crushes. Sigh...

Forever changed...They have definately forever changed my life in the most awesome way possible, but I hope and pray I can forever change the lives that are now in my hands. I hope and pray I can make the impact God has created me to by giving me these wonderful and precious blessings.

Lazy, Lazy, Lazy....

noreply@blogger.com (Mama2Miah) — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 17:31:00 +0000

Okay...maybe I am not being lazy, but it sure feels like it.

This week, Hubby is off from work. I LOVE IT! I like it when he is here. Not just because he lets me sleep in, he wakes up with the baby, cooks lunch for the kids, washes dishes, starts laundry, babies me if I am having a 'bad prego day,' or any wonderful thing like that. Well, maybe that could be some of the reason. :) Now can you see why I am feeling lazy? Actually, though, I just like him being here.

We have only been married 5 years (it will be 5 years Jan. 1) and have known one another 8 years, but it doesn't feel that long at all. It feels as though we have just met and he is impressing me with his intelligence and sense of humor. No one can impress me the way he does, make me laugh like he does, or frankly, tick me off like he does.

I love that I get to see him everyday from the moment I get up to when we go to bed. He is my best friend. When he is here, he spoils me and I enjoy every minute of it and if that qualifies me as being lazy, then so be it. But the real reason I love him being here is just because he is here.

GET DRESSED TO LACE UP SHOES

noreply@blogger.com (Mama2Miah) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 20:32:00 +0000

Hi everyone! This may not be very long, but I didn't want to stay away, and wanted to share some of my progress. Yesterday was day #2 of my journey with FlyLady.net. You know, shining my sink and that goes along with it. This was my job for yesterday...

'Today I want you get up and get dressed to lace up shoes when you first get up in the morning. This means fix your hair and face too.'

My thoughts were...Are you serious?? There is no way I can do that. That means I have to get up before the kids (they wake up at 6 AM)! And do you know how hard it is with 4 kids, three of which are 4 and under??? Plus I am 36 weeks prego?!? A shower is one thing, but doing my hair, make-up, and put decent clothes on other than shorts and t-shirt?!? GREAT...UGH!

Although I did not make it into the shower by 5:30 AM, I did make it by 6:15!!!!! YES! Done getting ready by probably around 8, but I had to feed the kiddos and get them dressed. Wait...did I say get them dressed before 8?? I usually let them lounge in pj's until lunch or even later. We're not going anywhere right? Then, did the dishes, kept my sink shiny, folded laundry, rested for about 30-45 mins, started lunch, cleaned the kitchen again, listened to training calls for a couple of hours, folded more laundry and picked up the living room before 3:30 PM!

Did I really just do all of that??? YES I DID!!! I actually felt I accomplished not just one thing, but a few things. By bed time, the sink stayed shiny and NO DIRTY DISHES ANYWHERE, including the dishwasher! Sorry for all of the exclamation points, but I am totally psyched!

Today, however is a different story. I was up all night with 'fake' contractions that hurt and I thought I mind in end up in the hospital, but they dissipated around 5 AM. So, I am exhausted. Hubby was up with nausea and vomiting. When we thought he was in the clear, our 4 year old, vomited in her bed. This was followed by a bath and another vomit session. I think Hubby went to rest on the sofa, while I crashed for a few hours. This put me way behind. BUT....I managed to get dressed to lace up my shoes, went to the bank, took the kids to the indoor play area at the mall, bought lunch and made some prospect calls.

Not too shabby. The kitchen has a few dirty dishes in it, but it is not overflowing as it may have been considering the circumstances. I guarantee my sink will be shiny tonight!

That's all for now. And I want to take a moment to thank everyone who has commented. I wish I could send an email to you or thank you on your blog...something, but I am still new to this. Hubby is an excellent teacher, and I will be looking to him for proper techniques in blog etiquette and how to accomplish them. Thank you so much!

A SHINY SINK!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Mama2Miah) — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 20:22:00 +0000

So...DRUM ROLL PLEASE................

I HAVE A SHINY SINK!!!!! I must admit that I did have some, A LOT, of help.

My wonderful hubby, JugglingEric, knew how I felt, and I am sure he felt the same way. If there is a mess he can't get to, and I haven't touched it, he gets this look of despair on his face. Knowing my husband, he feels like he has failed his family and himself. Then he starts to feel claustrophobic. All this totally consumes his mood and train of thought. However, he tends to be really awesome at pushing through, and gets done what he wants.

This morning (I am sure he had me in mind...he likes to make me happy), he cleaned up the kitchen. He put dishes in the dishwasher, wiped the counters and stove and swept and left the sink for me. What a wonderful man!

So, I did my duty and cleaned the sink as well as the counter above the sink. It was harder than I thought! The hard thing about the sink is, as wonderful a help as my husband and son are when they clean the kitchen, they tend to forget the sink. If they get to the sink, they seem to not pay much attention to it, leaving grime and yukiness behind. This leaves hard work and tons of elbow grease for me. I had no idea how dirty the back of the faucet really was. I clean back there, but I can't see it. Today, I climbed a chair and saw the enemy I was dealing with. Then, I CONQUERED it! YES!

In return, we now have a shiny sink! Team work...NICE. Way to go TeamEK!

Our new goal as a family is to keep this up everyday. A small step in essence, but huge for the family and getting to where we want to be. Wish us luck!

A DO OVER???

noreply@blogger.com (Mama2Miah) — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 04:50:00 +0000

Okay...so, one of my new goals is to keep up with this blog. This is the third time I have started over again this past year. Hopefully the saying a 'third times a charm' takes effect and works.

I am feeling so overwhelmed. There is so much I want to do, but don't know how to get started or where to begin. I am in my 36th week of pregnancy, so maybe this is the nesting that's phasing in. Who knows. All I know is there is so much C-RAP (please excuse the language, but there is a lack of what other words to use without really cussing) to do and get done.

There are dishes in the sink to get done and it is 5 'til 11 at night. I can't remember when I last swept. It's even been longer than that since I mopped. Maybe that's why my kids get sick a lot...because I am a HORRIBLE house keeper. I thought only kids in day care get sick; not stay at home kids! There is a load of laundry on the sofa yet to be folded, and clothes that have been folded under that. There is a load in the dryer and more clothes to be washed. UGH!!! Seriously...

Can't I just get a clean slate?? A do over?? If Santa really exists, can't he just have a maid clean this all up? Give me a nice starting point?

Maybe this new site I signed up for will help. www.flylady.net promises to help me get organized, to de-clutter my life and living space. It starts off with baby steps and then, I believe, will send emails throughout the day to help do chores 15 minutes at a time. This HAS to work. Since it supposedly takes 21 days to make a habit, this will be a new and helpful habit in my life in less than a month.

My first step is to make my sink shiny. I actually did this a couple of weeks ago and kept up with it, but who knows what happened. Anyway, after making it shiny, I am supposed to keep up with it every day. Now, I have to make the decision if I want Day 1 to be now or tomorrow. I am honestly too tired to make it now, but that means a messy messy kitchen in the AM. I HATE THIS!!!

I am sorry to be so negative, but for this being my outlet, I just ran with this one today. I promise to have a better outlook in the days to come, or at least be more amusing.

NIGHT!