Mama Cass Adventures

Family Pictures

2012-04-19T15:46:00.000-07:00

Why does it have to be so difficult to get everyone to gether for a picture. It should be simple. The kids love to say cheese and are total hams for the camera whenever we are outside or just shooting some candids, but throw some nice clothes on them and ask them to sit still for more than 5 seconds and complete chaos breaks out.

I made an appointment at Sears portrait studio so the pictures would be available online for the family to see and mostly becasue they sent me a coupon when Addie was born- I am a total sucker for coupons, but definitely did not read the fine print on this one. So I made the appointment for an attainable time 10:30 to get 6 people ready and to the studio seemed attainable, but inevitably we were 10 minutes late to our appointment. When I went to the desk to sign in, the photographer looked at her schedule, grimmaced, and annoyingly looked up at me while shaking her head and saying oh you are late!. I felt like I was in the principal's office getting scolded for skipping class too many times! Apparently they double book on purpose on the weekends (because that makes a lot of sense) so we were asked to hurry because we only had 20 minutes left for our session!

Thankfully, the twins and Koen cooperated wonderfully for their pictures, and we got some really great shots. But, Ms. Piggy (Addie) decided that eating 20 minutes before we left was not sufficient for her and she needed to eat again right when it was her turn for pictures! So in between shots, I was able to ~~shove the bottle in her mouth~~ feed her in an attempt to keep her calm long enough to get a good pose...This and the fact that she is already holding her head up and trying to push with her arms resulted in the little darling having a strange resemblance to Quasimodo in some of her pictures!

We quickly moved on to the family picture, when I realized that just because you can zip the skirt, that does not give you the right to wear it! lol. We have all been there a few weeks after childbirth and are so excited when some prepregnancy clothes start to fit. It is like each day is a new adventure in the closet until we can finally put on a pair of jeans without jumping into them or laying down to zip them. This was one of those days for me that I was able to zip a skirt that I obviously hadn't worn in ages and it didn't look too tight in the mirror. I really need to invest in a full length mirror because looking like mom the hooker just isn't cute for family pics. I wish I could say it was Julie Roberts cute, but instead it was more Snooki trashy! Maybe when I have the pics framed, I can get a wider matte that will cover the thigh high disaster.

Addie

2012-04-18T15:58:00.000-07:00

Baby number 4 definitely arrived with a bang! After weeks of pain and agony and trips to the hospital, she finally came FAST! Welcome to the world Addie Breana!

Lol I delivered her in the front seat of our car at the gas station in town----- the army hospital was where I was supposed to deliver and they won't admit you until you are dilated to a 4 or 5 and contractions are 2-3 min apart... I was at 3-1/2 minutes and we left the house. We got about a mile and my water broke in the car so Ben called 911 and the fire dept met us at the gas station about 4 minutes later literally just in time to catch her! Ben said if they had been 2 or 3 steps later he would have had to grab her! The firemen took the baby and me in the ambulance to the nearest hospital and here we are lol. Everyone is doing well and healthy and we get to go home the next today! She weighed 7 lbs 4 oz 19 inches. It was a crazy night. I don't think I've ever seen so many people at that gas station but it felt like half the town was my audience. and all those poor teenagers that were hanging out there that night could very well be abstinent forever! I guess that is my public service to the town of Orting LOL!

The School Dance

2012-04-18T15:53:00.000-07:00

It is times like this when you learn just how uncool your kids really think you are lol.

My 8 year old, third grade son had a school dance about a month after we moved to Orting. He had made several friends, but was still looking to impress and really fit in. He came home with the dance flyer in his hand, panicking. There was of course a girl that he wanted to impress, and his clothes were just not cool enough. He wanted DC shoes, skinny jeans and a hoodie stat! um no, no, and um hell no.

After my explaining that the dance was in a few hours, and, contrary to his wishes, I was not taking him to the mall to get a new wardrobe for the dance, he sulked until Ben got home. And sulked again after he reitterated that we were not going shopping and that skinny jeans would never make it past the threshold in this house Ever! So since Ben is apparently way cooler than I am, Koen begged him to pick out his clothes for the dance so he would look good and to help him fix his hair. Oh and could he please drive him in the Jeep and not the car because if people saw him in the Jeep they would know he was cool even without skinny jeans! lol It was definitely quite an eventful day for the guy.

He got to the dance with a small group of his friends and we just dropped him off to enjoy the night (and all the 10 and under girls that looked at least 15!). When I went to pick him up, he was a little disappointed that the girl he had hoped to dance with didn't show up, but in the end he had a good time hanging out with the guys and pestering the Dj to play the Party Rock Anthem!

Since then, we have taken him shopping, replaced his entire school wardrobe (sans skinnies of course) and bought him some new, much cooler shoes and according to him, the girls noticed!

I just can't believe we are going through this with an 8-year-old I was at least in middle school before any of those things mattered, but I guess it is just a sign of the times!

Hello Blogosphere!

2012-04-18T15:43:00.000-07:00

So it has been about a year since my last post here on MamaCassAdventures, but you will be glad to know after a year full of crazy adventures, I am back and ready to share some of my funny stories and life experiences with you again.

It has been quite the year. My hubby got orders to come to Ft. Lewis WA, so we sold our house, bought a new one site unseen, and moved aross the country. We packed everyone up in the cars and drove almost 3,000 miles from TN, stopping in various no name cities across the country and making appearances at gas stations in over 15 states. We were able to stop in Utah and stay with my husband's family for a few days, celebrating the holidays and enjoying the festivities in Temple Square. We finally arrived in Washington and moved into our house on December 23. We are living in a small town about 45 minutes from Seattle called Orting, where you can count the traffic lights on 1 hand and the highlights in town consist of the annual Daffodil festival, restoring Jenny the antique fire engine, and debating on whether Mt Ranier will ever erupt! About a week after we moved in the biggest snowstorm of the century hit and we were wothout power for 3 days- thank God for campstoves and candles! Since moving in, we have met lots of neighbors and made some friends. We have been able to venture to some area attractions like the aquarium and the Pike Place Market in Seattle. Hubby remodeled the kitchen. My mom came to visit for a month which was awesome, and I had baby number 4 (funny delivery story to come later!)!

So now, things are calming down, and I need an outlet so hello again blogosphere, hope you enjoy laughing at me!

frogs peas and rain

2011-04-11T12:38:00.000-07:00

So I know there hasn't been much activity on the blog lately, but have you seen the weather? It has been way too gorgeous outside to sit in front of the computer for more than 5 minutes! It has been a busy couple of weeks around here, planting flowers, gardening, prepping for the strawberries to be ready to pick in the next couple weeks :), and just enjoying the sunshine! The twins have discovered lots of new things too. They like taking walks around the yard while I point out the different plants. They have become ride-on-toy masters, and they have even learned how to coast. It is really funny they will get going as fast as their little legs can take them then all of a sudden the legs fly up in the air until the wheels stop moving. I really need to take a video.

On one of their many sidewalk adventures, they found a large frog in one of the neighbor's yards. They immediately jumped off their ride-ons and chased the poor frog all over the yard pointing and muttering something that I'm sure was frog in twin language. They chased that damn frog for 15 minutes until it finally found protection under a bush and the girls attention was redirected back to the ride-ons with promise of a Popsicle when they got home lol. So now every time we go outside they go to that yard and run around like they are looking for the frog. It's funny they haven't discovered the family of frogs living in our own backyard.

For a while now, both girls have been putting vegetables like carrots and green beans in their ears and giggling at how silly the other looks when they do it, but Heidi has moved on and figured out a little trick that she found hilarious...putting things in her nose. So the other night at dinner, she was eating peas, and she would touch it to her nostril before eating it. I thought she was just smelling it, no big deal. Then she actually put it in the opening of her nostril and turned her head from side-to-side until it fell out. Both girls thought that was the best entertainment of the day so she kept doing it. Next thing I know my son is yelling MOM MOM it went up her nose! I hurried over with a tissue and inspected her little nose. No pea was to be found so I figured it just fell out. No big deal. Well to my son it was a huge deal. He was sure that the pea had traveled all the way to her brain and had come out in her mouth (just like snot mom when you suck it up real hard. I bet she ate it!) About 15 minutes later Heidi started screaming and alternating between smacking and rubbing her face. It was a little scary. I was afraid she was going to spit out pea soup or something similar. No soup, just peas. The little shit sneezed and out flew the pea straight across the room! (See mom I told you she sucked it up in her nose!) We haven't had peas since.

So today it is raining and although the cool down is nice, I do wish I was a little more weather-savvy. I decided today was a good day to get back into the running schedule and 3 miles would do. Big mistake. Should have listened to the hubby- he called this morning and informed me the sky would explode in about 20 minutes. I was sad as I had just strapped the girls into the stroller and found the motivation I needed to make it on the run...He assured me I should have time to make it a short one, just around the block, a mere 1.4 miles. In all of my stubborness, I was determined to make it 3 miles before the rain set in. The volunteer mulching of the trails at Dunbar Cave this weekend took more of a toll on my back than I realized, and running was shear torture, so I had to run in short spurts and walk in between, which added to the time it took to complete the morning trek. About 3/4 mile from the house the sky suddenly turned green and buckets poured down. If the Wizard of Oz had been in color when the storm began that's what it would have looked like. I could even imagine the guy (running home in a panic) walking his dog near me thinking It's a twista It's a twista! Luckily, I keep the rain cover on the jogging stroller for weather phenomena such as this, and I managed to get the girls covered up just in time. The rain just got harder and harder. I ran as fast as I could the first 1/4 mile or so back to the house, and then it was too hard. My shoes were full of water, my clothes were soaked and sticking to me, my hair had half-way worked itself out of the ponytail and was matted to my face, my leftover makeup from yesterday was streaming down my face, and I am positive that everyone that drove by wondered if I were a disgruntled sideshow performer who had just escaped from the circus.

Terrible 2's and Chuck E Cheese...Shoot Me Now

2011-03-25T12:13:00.000-07:00

I was forced to go to to Chuck E Cheese this week for a birthday party. If I were asked to describe hell, I am pretty sure it would sound like Chuck E Cheese. I loathe this place and only go if I absolutely have to. I have never voluntarily taken my children there. I'm not sure why I hate it so much. It could be because they removed the ball pits which were a childhood dreamland, and it could be all the noise and kids running amuck like they are in neverland in need of parental guidance. It's a toss up, but it never fails, every year some parent will give in to their child's request to spend their special day with Chuck E, and I get sucked in to chaos. This trip started off just like any other: Grab the kids and a gift and go. I was totally wrong in thinking I could bring the double stroller to the mouse circus in an effort to tame my twins. Once we were inside, they stayed in the stroller about 3.7 minutes before their brains could no longer handle the stimulation overload surrounding them, and they just had to get out! They tried to escape the hypnotic spell the animated Chuck E had on them, but it was no use. They were doomed to submit to the chaos and enter the neverland portal. Before things got too out of hand, I was able to bribe them back to reality with pizza (with my gluten allergy pizza is definitely a delicacy at my house and when the kids see it, you would think it was ambrosia or some other life altering substance. The girls devoured the pizza looking like mogwais that get fed after midnight. It was really a scary event, and then afterwards we entered the realm of Chuck E's play land. The girls didn't know what to do or where to look first. I was able to calm their stimulation high with a few rides on the carousel. There for a few minutes the little darling looked like angels with bright shiny smiles. Really I think I saw a faint glow of a halo appear over their little heads...Then the carousel stopped....OMG it was then that I was certain the terrible 2's had begun. Heidi proceeded to throw herself like a limp bowling ball across the floor wailing as if she was the victim of some horrible form of child abuse. (This has happened a few times in the past couple of weeks, and I am awestruck and surprised each time.). I typically ignore the behavior and move on with whatever task I am doing, but when 200 people at Chuck E Cheese silence themselves and stare at you like you are some criminal, you have to take action. We quickly located the slide and toddler play area which magically made everything right in little Heidi's world. She went up the stairs and down the slide at least 150 times, and even managed to persuade Meja to go down the slide with her. Then there were cupcakes...The girls love cupcakes. They can't resist the sweet goodness and creamy frosting. Oh and there were sprinkles... shut the front door. There is nothing that can stand in the way of these little angels and cupcakes...except me. The girls are going through the "I want to do it myself" phase which is really fantastic most of the time (especially since I know from experience that that phase is soon followed by the I wipe my own ass phase which really gets me excited!) Although they are skilled in eating and feeding themselves, the opposite is true for keeping themselves presentable and somewhat clean while doing it. When the girls finish eating cupcakes at home, they usually resemble Augustus Gloop after falling into the chocolate river, not a pretty site! So I thought it would be in everyone's best interest if I just fed the girls myself. Meja had no problem with me feeding her. It was a cupcake, and she didn't care how it got in her belly. Heidi, of course, disagreed with me and there was a second limp bowling ball display. This time I think she managed to throw herself almost 2 feet, which could be new personal record...There was no one around but friends to witness the wailing display so I was able to ignore it this time, and when she was worn out she got up gave me a hug and it was done. I decided to take the girls for another spin on the carousel before leaving hell that night, and I am happy to say, there was no fit this time, and after 2 hours of Chuck E torture, I was able to go home and drink away the horrible images that happened at the Chuck E prison camp.

I Could Kiss that Groundhog!

2011-03-24T11:45:00.000-07:00

First off, I apologize for my hiatus. I was abducted by the spring weather and hypnotized into spending all my time outdoors instead of online. I could just kiss that groundhog for being correct! Here we are just 6 weeks later and spring is definitely here! I have to admit the sunshine has been good for me. I feel like the gray cloud above me has disappeared, and things are once again right in the world. I think I was depressed by the apparent time warp we went on in fashion this year. I swear if I witnessed one more legwarmer, especially those paired with a high top, I may have been driven to make a fashion police arrest.

And here is a public service announcement: Spandex is not for everyone. Wearing it is a privilege, not a right! Just because Jennifer Lopez is a host on American Idol does not give everyone permission to don her Fly Girl Look. I am convinced that even Jenny From the Block could not pull off the ensemble these days.

So now we have moved on to asses peeking from the hem of the shorts and mini skirts paired with Uggs. I really should stop there and keep my comments to myself, but that's just not like me. First of all, I was appalled when shopping for shorts for my twin toddlers. At 18 months, I am positive it is offensive, not to mention trashy to see a diaper hanging out of the bottom of the shorts, but this is all I could find. So, needless to say, my girls will be wearing capris and keeping the characters on their diapers left to the imagination until I find the time to make them some shorts myself...(Stay Tuned for the Next Battle of the Bobbin!)

It just got better last weekend when we were at a local Irish festival. I swear if my kids ever even think about wearing anything so trashy as what I saw there (or if my son tries to bring one of these hoochies home) I will flip and my kids will be locked in a tower until further notice! I couldn't believe it! There was more skin on the streets of Erin than is allowed at most gentleman's clubs. I know as a teen, I too tried to push the limits with fashion and when you are developing a body, it is natural to want to show it off, but all day my husband and I kept looking at each other with the omg did you see that eyebrow raise. So many brow raises were done that I in fact have developed bursitis of my brow muscles! Thank God for my parents who helped me to tame the hoochie looks and taught me that less (skin showing and Tammy fay makeup) is more (flattering), and that ladies should leave some things to the imagination!

Now to all those girls who have been convinced that Uggs and shorts are attractive, lets take a look at this

Uggly boots which I consider to be the black hole of fashion. Really? Unless you are an Eskimo living in -30 degree temperatures and sporting a hefty parka, you my friend should not be wearing Uggs.

So in addition to judging everyone's fashion mishaps (while I wear jeans, a tee, and chacos), I have also been enjoying the life that is springing up all around! The tulips are blooming, as well as many other bulbs in our garden, and my hubby planted lots of new plants for me ... roses, begonias, phlox, grapes, blackberries, peach tree, and the list could continue for days...I am so excited for everything to mature and flourish in my yard I can't stand it. I am so impatient, I have been examining the plants daily and tracking their progress in photos. It really is an addiction.

I also finally passed the medical transcription final and should be receiving my certificate in the mail any day now! Hello job interviews....how I have not missed you! Last week, I revamped my resume for the transcription field and began submitting. I am crossing my fingers for a gig to come along soon with an easy-to-understand English-speaking doctor. In the meantime, you can find me with the kids outside enjoying the fresh air!

Mama Cass Reviews: Coupon Chief

2011-03-07T11:31:00.000-08:00

Mama Cass Reviews: Coupon Chief: "Ever wonder where everyone gets all those great promo codes when purchasing items online? You know the ones all the other moms are bragging ..."

I Think I'll Name Him Stan!

2011-03-05T07:05:00.000-08:00

So for the past several weeks, my son has been begging incessantly for me to allow him to start wearing deodorant (He is 7!!). He has been coming to me with some pretty convincing arguments:

All my friends are wearing it.
I get really sweaty when I play outside.
I don't want to stink at school.
My teacher told the whole class we should wear deodorant.
Real men wear deodorant.
and the list goes on...

He even had went through the sale ads and contrived a mental list of the different brands he felt would be the best suited for him. lol Mom, what about Speed Stick, that way when I run fast, I will stay smelling good. Or Right Guard, that sounds like it works good! My uncles wear Degree, and they don't stink too bad, maybe I could get that one, or my personal fav...Dad wears Old Spice! Now that's what a man should smell like! lol.
So for weeks I have been denying him deodorant telling myself that he is too young for it, and won't need it until puberty begins, and didn't I read an article some time ago about the negative effects an antiperspirant can have on the glands if it is not needed or overused? Then he came home smelling putrid after playing basketball and various other outdoor quests for a few hours. It was one of the worst stenches I have ever witnessed! It also happened to be a Sunday and he immediately walked in and began perusing the ads, remarking again about all the different brands, and finally came to a new request...Mom, if I can't have deodorant can you just get me some Axe, so-and-so wears it!. Um, NO! That stuff stinks almost as bad as you do right now! Go take a shower! So I let a couple days go by and each day he came in from playing smelling a bit worse than the day before, still chatting and trying to convince me he needed deodorant...I agreed, It was time!
So before school one morning, I broke out a bottle from the stockpile...I showed him how to put it on correctly and sent him out the door with his daily philosophic quote...Now that is what a man should smell like! lol.
So after school he comes home really excited...

Mom, I played so hard at recess, and was so sweaty, and Guess What?!?!
What?!?! I said with anticipation....
I didn't stink! I just smelled like deodorant, and someone (definitely a girl) said I smelled good today!

Oh, God help me, it has begun I thought...but no it gets better... He went upstairs after finishing his homework to change to go out and play, running down the stairs like the house was on fire, I hear:

MOM!!!
Oh no I thought, "What happened?"
You HAVE to SEE THIS!!!
Now that I knew there was nothing to worry about, and my house was not in fact erupting with flames, I calmly asked what he needed to show me....

It's AN ARM PIT HAIR!!! It must have grew while I was at school! The deodorant helped it grow! I'm a man! I have armpit hair! and he strutted out the door!

LMAO! I laughed not having the heart to break it to him that it was probably just a stray lint or small string from his shirt. lol. So now he has been bragging to all of his friends telling them that he wears deodorant, has an armpit hair, and he's a man! I really expected him to name said hair like he saw in an episode of Zeke and Luther. That would have just made my day even funnier, but the arm pit hair shall remain nameless, for now!

Trip to Italy?

2011-03-02T06:36:00.000-08:00

Love cooking? Have some yummy original recipes? Check out the list of recipe contests below for your chance to win lots of great prizes! Good luck!

Crisco is having a recipe contest where you could win a trip for 2 to Italy! The recipe has to have a Mediterranean feel to it and include at least two tablespoons of 100% Extra Virgin, Pure or Light Tasting Olive Oil and a minimum of two of these ingredients: tomatoes, garlic, olives, pasta, yogurt, legumes, fresh herbs, lentils, cheese.- you can enter as many recipes as you want, but the contest ends March 18. Crisco Mediterranean Inspirations Recipe Contest

If baked goods are more your forte then try the 45th Pillsbury Bakeoff. You must use at least 1 ingredient from List A and a second ingredient from either List A or List B in at least the quantity specified here. Hurry contest ends April 18.

Do you use cereal for meals other than breakfast? The folks at Post want to taste your creativity! They are rewarding winners with $1,000 in free groceries in their Post Natural Advantage Recipe Challenge, ending March 17.

Have a breakfast recipe everyone loves? Enter in the Just a Pinch Rise 'n Shine Breakfast Challenge for your chance to win a trip for 2 to Nashville and a $1,000 shopping spree at Viking! Contest ends April 15.

Are potatoes your specialty? Enter a photo of your best twice baked potato recipe in the Twice Baked, Twice as Smart Recipe Photo Contest for a chance to win $500! Contest ends March 7.

King of the Grill? Enter the Better Homes and Gardens Grilling Showdown Contest. Upload your best original grilled recipe along with a video of your grilling techniques. Earn up to $5,000 and a new grill! Submit your entry by March 15.

Sweet potato connoisseur? Enter the Sweet Rewards Recipe Contest for your chance to be published in the Louisiana Cookin' magazine and win some great prizes. Enter by June 7. or blog about it and enter the Sweet and Healthy Blogger Recipe Contest by April 11 for a chance to win $2,000!

Do you use beef to create amazing meals? Submit your entry to the National Beef Cook-Off for a chance to win $25,000 and a trip to the Metropolitan Cooking and Entertaining Show in Washington, DC! Contest ends April 30.

These should keep you busy in the kitchen for a while creating some yummy new recipes or perfecting old favs. I'd love to try out your recipes and feature some of the tastiest ones here on my blog. Email me at mamacassadventures@yahoo.com Happy Cooking and Good Luck!

Rainy Day Projects

2011-02-25T08:33:00.000-08:00

After a beautiful start to the week, the rain has finally set in. It was one of those days where you just want to curl up in a blanket and fall asleep to the rhythm of the rain. Maybe one day I'll be able to do things like that! But for now, I will have a long to-do list to tackle! It was just too much of a mess outside to be out in it yesterday. Contrary to popular belief, I will not melt if I go outside in the rain, but there are just too many things to do at home!

I really only have a limited amount of time during the day for me time (twins nap time!). So for my nap time projects yesterday, I made split pea soup (who doesn't love a nice steamy cup of soup on rainy days!?!) and I made the girls shirts to wear with their poodle skirts. (ok this one extended past naptime and was a bedtime project too- i picked a pattern that was a bit too difficult for my limited sewing experience)

These are the first shirts I have ever made! This sewing stuff is neat, I think I may do more of it. Maybe I will start a naptime projects tab for the blog, and y'all can get some project inspiration!

Battle of the Bobbin- Poodle Skirts

2011-02-24T10:58:00.000-08:00

So I worked on these poodle skirts last week, and had some more trouble with my sewing machine. Turns out it was not operator error! My mom felt sorry for me and couldn't stand to see me dismantle the Singer so she rescued it and gave me this awesome new Kenmore machine. It made me smile! It is so easy to use and the bobbin threads properly! It totally made my day to be able to finish these skirts for the banquet tomorrow.

They are definitely not perfect, but for my first skirts, they are not too bad!

I was Confused

2011-02-21T19:02:00.000-08:00

I became confused when I heard the word * " Service " * used with these agencies:

Internal Revenue * ' Service ' *
U.S. Postal * ' Service ' *
Telephone * ' Service '*
Cable TV * ' Service ' *
Civil * ' Service ' *
State, City, County & Public * ' Service ' *
Customer * ' Service '*

This is not what I thought Service “meant”... But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to * "service" * all his cows.

*BAM*!!! It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us.

You are now as enlightened as I am.

Hope y'all got a good chuckle out of this like I did!

Spring Cleaning?

2011-02-21T10:42:00.000-08:00

Are you one of those spring cleaning fanatical people I am seeing everywhere this week? You know the ones whose cart is full of cleaning supplies and Rubbermaid storage containers?

Well I am happy to say that this year, I am not one of those people. I have a stockpile of cleaning supplies that will get me through the next several years of spring cleaning, and most of our closets are already organized with the clear totes (the girls toys however are on my list of things to get squared away in the next couple months). What is it about spring that inspires so many to "get organized"? Here is the history from Wikipedia:

It has been suggested that the origins of spring cleaning date back to the Iranian Norouz, the Persian new year, which falls on the first day of spring[citation needed]. Iranians continue the practice of "khooneh tekouni" which literally means "shaking the house" just before the new year. Everything in the house is thoroughly cleaned, from the drapes to the furniture. A similar tradition is the Scottish "New Year's cleaning" on Hogmanay (December 31), a practice now also widespread in Ireland, New Zealand, and to some extent North America.

Another possibility of the origin of spring cleaning can be traced to the ancient Jewish practice of thoroughly cleansing the home in anticipation of the spring-time holiday of Passover. In remembrance of the Jews' hasty flight from Egypt following their captivity there, during the eight-day holiday there is a strict prohibition against eating anything which may have been leavened. Jews are not only supposed to refrain from leavened foodstuffs (known in Hebrew as chametz), they are expressly commanded to rid their homes of even small remnants of chametz for the length of the holiday (Exodus 12:15). Therefore, for the past 3,500 years, observant Jews have conducted a thorough "spring cleaning" of the house, followed by a traditional hunt for chametz crumbs by candlelight on the evening before the holiday begins.

In North America and northern Europe, the custom found an especial practical value due to those regions' continental and wet climates. During the 19th century in America, prior to the advent of the vacuum cleaner, March was often the best time for dusting because it was getting warm enough to open windows and doors (but not warm enough for insects to be a problem), and the high winds could carry the dust out of the house. For the same reason, modern rural households often use the month of March for cleaning projects involving the use of chemical products which generate fumes.

In Greece, and other Orthodox nations, it is traditional to clean the house thoroughly either right before or during the first week of Great Lent, which is referred to as Clean Week. This also often corresponds with the Julian New Year, or April 1.

So there you have it. It seems regardless of your heritage, Spring Cleaning has been instilled in each of us for centuries. I too am doing a bit of "spring cleaning," but not in the traditional sense. I have a rigid cleaning schedule that I stick to year round. You can find it here. Maybe it will help you avoid the spring cleaning fiasco next year. So instead of deep cleaning my house, I am cleaning other areas, like the garden!

I spent some time today getting all the dead leaves and debris from my strawberry patch, which is looking good! I am excited for them to start producing in a couple months. I have some great new recipes to try, and my kids will only eat strawberry jam so I will be making a ton of that! (They turn up their noses at the blackberry I made so that has become my guilty pleasure of late). I am also on the lookout for the recipe to that awesome Amish canned strawberry dessert that you can buy at their vegetable stands in the spring so if any of you have it, please pass it my way!

I also started some seeds a couple weeks ago:

These are some of the tomatoes. I also started some pepper plants, and garlic bulbs that are starting to sprout too.

So there you have it, my unconventional spring cleaning. What things are you doing to get ready for spring?

To Roo or Not to Roo?

2011-02-16T20:32:00.000-08:00

So the 2011 Bonnaroo lineup is out!! And what a lineup it is! This is a great 10-years of Roo celebration!

Eminem Arcade Fire Widespread Panic The Black Keys Buffalo Springfield feat Richie Furay, Stephen Stills, Neil Young, Rick Rosas, Joe Vitale My Morning Jacket Lil Wayne String Cheese Incident Robert Plant & Band of Joy Mumford & Sons The Strokes The Decemberists Ray Lamontagne Bassnectar Iron & Wine Girl Talk Primus Dr. John and The Original Meters performing Desitively Bonnaroo Alison Krauss & Union Station featuring Jerry Douglas Pretty Lights Florence + the Machine Superjam ft. Dan Auerbach and Dr. John Explosions in the Sky STS9 Gogol Bordello Beirut Big Boi Scissor Sisters Gregg Allman Ratatat Global Gypsy Punk Revue curated by Eugene Hütz Robyn Warren Haynes Band Deerhunter Opeth Atmosphere Old Crow Medicine Show Bootsy Collins & the Funk University Wiz Khalifa Matt & Kim Grace Potter & the Nocturnals The Del McCoury Band and the Preservation Hall Jazz Band Mavis Staples Béla Fleck & the Flecktones Chiddy Bang Jovanotti Bruce Hornsby & the Noisemakers Loretta Lynn Cold War Kids The Walkmen Devotchka Wanda Jackson Neon Trees Portugal. The Man Sleigh Bells Amos Lee Best Coast Dãm-Funk & Master Blazter The Sword The Drums The Black Angels School of Seven Bells J. Cole Nicole Atkins & the Black Sea Wavves !!! Junip Freelance Whales Justin Townes Earle Ryan Bingham Deer Tick Band of Skulls Sharon Van Etten Abigail Washburn Omar Souleyman Twin Shadow Kylesa Man Man The Low Anthem Alberta Cross Railroad Earth Jessica Lea Mayfield Smith Westerns The Head and the Heart Karen Elson Beats Antique 22-20s Phosphorescent Clare MaGuire Hayes Carll

What is Bonnaroo you ask? It is a 4-day music festival in Manchester TN June 9-12. Some call it the Wood Stock of the South. It is held on a 700 acre farm, where you pitch a tent and enjoy the music for 4 blissfull (showerless) days. Thank God for the Broo'ers Festival tent with 20 different breweries offering up their best ale to help keep festival goers properly inebriated to be able to stand the stench of their neighbor. It really is quite the experience. I had the privilege of attending a few years ago when my brother graduated from high school- convincing my parents that we needed to go and providing all provisions was my graduation gift to him, and now it is time for my youngest brother to be christened to the Roo world after he graduates this year. So here's my dilemma: To Roo or Not to Roo? Is seeing Old Crow Medicine Show, the Black Keys, Allison Krauss, The Decemberists, Robert Plant, Widespread Panic, Lil Wayne, and Bela Fleck in 1 weekend too much to handle? Would I be missing the opportunity of a lifetime by not attending Eminem and Loretta Lynn's show? What do y'all think? Should I subject my mother to 4 days of torture by her grandkids while I search for enlightenment among thousands of immoral showerless festival goers?

The Good Wife

2011-02-11T10:30:00.000-08:00

My Valentine's Day gift to all you ladies! This article was given to me by one of my husband's friends just before we got married. He told me this was the key to a happy and successful marriage! (Thanks Brett!) It was an article printed in the May 13, 1955 issue of Housekeeping. I have to say some of this is actually pretty good stuff! (Don't get your panties in a wad ladies-read all the way through my comments are in red.)

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed. I typically have dinner ready within 15 minutes of my husband getting home from work (this gives him time to take a shower before joining us for a family dinner which is very important to me).

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. I am guilty of running to the bathroom just before he is supposed to be home (or when I hear his car pull up) to give my hair a quick brush and make sure I look presentable-Don't judge me! (he doesn't know this...and again this is more for me than for him. If I feel good about the way that I look it makes me happy. I want to always feel attractive and sexy, especially when he is around.)

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. I am pretty boring too, but I usually have a story about something the kids did, or neighborhood gossip we can both laugh at.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables. I am guilty of doing a quick run through the house before dinner to pick up anything that needs it- this is more for me. If these things are done before dinner, then I feel less guilty about sitting down on the couch after the kitchen is cleaned up. I feel that since my hubby works his ass off for 12-14 hours a day that it is my responsibility to take care of things in the house. I rarely ask him to help with household things, but he does voluntarily do dishes, laundry, vacuum, etc on a regular basis.

During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. We don't have a fireplace, but if we did, it would most likely be lit because I love fires. They are soothing, relaxing, and smell good too.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet. Yeah right- that never happens. We have 3 kids and 2 of those are twin toddlers- Our house is NEVER quiet unless the kids are sleeping!

Be happy to see him. I am always happy to see him. He is, after all, my other half.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. There is usually a smile because I am happy to see him, and I do sincerely want to be pleasing as a wife, but in order for me to please him, I first have to be pleased with myself. In other words, if mama's not happy no one's happy.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. See next item.

Don't greet him with complaints and problems. I usually give him undisturbed time as often as possible to wind down after his day- It makes for much better conversation and allows him to adjust from soldier to husband/father. I also try to save any bad news or complaints until after dinner if at all possible. I also try and take care of all problems before he gets home if possible. After all the crap he has to deal with everyday, if I can take care of some things on my own, it makes things easier on everybody, and allows us to spend our time together doing things we enjoy instead of solving the day's problems.

Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work. It is often that he has to work late, and that's just the way it is. If he needs to stop somewhere after work, he always calls, and if he wanted to go hang out with the guys all night, that's ok by me, and sometimes encouraged! We all need our own time and sometimes that means going out with friends without the spouses.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. There are nights that I will pour him a glass of wine with dinner when I am pouring my own. It's just common courtesy, and he does the same for me. And if either of us are making a drink after dinner, we do the same thing.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. Sorry, he is on his own for pillow fluffing and removal of the boots!

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. I have every right to question him and I ALWAYS express my opinion (even when it is not requested) and he respects me more for it.

A good wife always knows her place. yeah, yeah, right in front of the stove or sink lol

*****************************************

Battle of the Bobbin Continued

2011-02-10T12:11:00.000-08:00

I kicked that bobbins ass! A few weeks ago I posted about my sewing adventure. It was horrible, but after using my lifeline (my mom), the problem was quickly corrected, and the sewing continued. I managed to complete my first sewing project which resulted in this cute purse

It is even lined and has a pocket on the inside! Don't look too close or you will see all of my mistakes, but I must say, it's not too shabby for a first-time project.

This is going to shock some of you that know me well, but I am now convinced that everyone especially females should learn to sew. Maybe this is a revelation that comes with age, but you never know when you may need to repair a garment, mend a seam, or alter clothing. I used to think that sewing was for old bitties with nothing else to do.

You know the ones you see in old movies that are still head over heels for their spouse after so many years and who in their spare time sew and knit, cook and clean, and bitch about tending the kids and caring for the house (but love doing it and wouldn't trade their life for any other in the world). The ones that get offended if you tell them that their jam is second rate to your grandmother's but whose cobbler is to die for.

Sewing is for women like that the June Cleaver's of the world

with fresh baked goods waiting for their kids when they get home from school, and whose children have never eaten store-bought biscuits nor do they know what Kraft mac and cheese is. These are the iconic women who every other woman in the neighborhood gossips about over coffee at the bus stop, but each of these gossipers secretly longs to be just like the old bitties. The truth is the bitties are actually the happiest women around who wear the most smiles and who truly live each day to the fullest. These are the real women, the ones who don't try to hide from their domesticity, but who embrace it along with their feminism and zeal for life.

I want to be just like those old bitties too. I have been working on it, but to really get started, I need an apron.

Mrs. Jones?

2011-02-08T19:57:00.000-08:00

We all hate phone solicitations aka "courtesy calls." It never fails; those people call at the worst time ever! Today, for example, I was in a hurry to get the kids to their doc appointment, and because I had let them sleep a little longer than normal at nap time, I was running late (imagine that!). So here I am, in the middle of changing a shitty diaper (It's inevitable, when it is time to walk out the door, somebody always poops!), and my cell phone starts ringing at the same time as the house phone, meanwhile the dog is barking at her shadow I think (maybe she is working on her audition to be the next official groundhog- obviously the current title holders are blind and can't see their shadows anyway, giving everyone false hopes of a speedy spring and here we are snowed in!). So I answered the cell and it was someone wanting to give me an insurance quote that will only take one moment ma'am one moment please- um no thank you please take me off your call list, click. And my son answers the house phone! He thinks every call is for him and has yet to master the art of call screening via caller ID. He quickly hands me the phone when he realizes it is not for him. Here's the conversation:

me: Hello!?!
caller: um yes Mrs. Nora Jones?
me: no I'm sorry this is the ____ residence. You must have the wrong number.
caller: Oh no, this is _______(#) right?
me: yes it is, but this is not the Jones' residence.
caller: Well then you must know her?
me: Nope, never met her, but I have been getting calls for her for the past year and a half that I have had this number. What do I need to do to have my number removed from your call list?
caller: Year and a half? Well, Mrs. Jones, this is blah blah blah collections and we are contracted by _____ company to collect the debt you owe them.
me: Once again, you are mistaken, I do not owe them, Mrs. Jones does not live here. I do not know Mrs. Jones. My name is not Mrs. Jones, and no Nora is not my porn name!
caller: um...uh...Have a good day ma'am.

She's Breathing My Air

2011-02-04T09:49:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered what you kids are thinking before they are able to speak? I always imagine mine to have a snooty British accent similar to Stewy on Family Guy, and with some of the looks they give me, I am sure some of these thoughts cross their mind...

And then there are weeks like this one where the girls are constantly fighting, pushing each other down, pulling hair, and screaming at each other. Yes they are only 17 months, but sibling rivalry sucks and they fight over everything. Here is a glimpse into our future:

It is inevitable that one will always want the toy the other one is playing with. Books are even worse. She took the fun toys and left me with this damn teddy bear!

Then, when it is story time, they fight over my lap space, which I am glad to say is not big enough for both girls to sit on without at least one of their body parts touching, and this drives them crazy so the pushing and shoving begins to see who can push the other off my lap first.

When they are playing nicely together, it is usually in an evil plot to destroy the house or get revenge for me not allowing them to play in the houseplants or bathroom cabinets.

They even convince our dog to join them on their plot to sneak cookies from the kitchen, or to get a boost so they can reach things on the counter.

Some of our favorite moments are spent in the kitchen. They love to play with my mixing bowls and spoons and try all the yummy things I make. This is delectable. I can't believe you kept me waiting so long.

Every now and then, I will serve something they don't like (green beans, lima beans, etc) and my kitchen ends up looking like this after they have swapped and traded (and stole) the good food from the neighboring high chair.

The more the girls express themselves, the more it is evident how really different they are. We have a drama queen and a sneak among us, and lately all they have been doing is fighting. I don't have a sister, and my brothers are a lot younger than me so I always found them annoying and a bother until we all got older, but we never really had knock down drag out fights like I have heard many siblings do. If the present pushing, shoving, smacking, hair pulling, kicking, etc. is any indication of the fun future the future brings, we are in trouble. I should start selling the tickets now because it will definitely be better than WWE. I just can't wait for the day when I hear, "Mom, She's Breathing My Air!"

A Doctor's Visit I Couldn't Avoid

2011-02-03T15:23:00.000-08:00

I detest going to the doctor. It is an experience that I normally avoid at all costs, unless I feel that I am potentially knocking on death's door. Typically, I just drink a little whiskey, altering the mixture for the symptoms. I have rarely been let down by its effectiveness. As some of you know, a couple days after Christmas, I spent a few hours in the emergency room to find out I had a ruptured ovarian cyst. They told me there was really nothing they could do for me except give me Lortabs and send me home (I don't take medicine unless absolutely necessary so these never got taken). I followed up with a new OB/GYN a week later and was told that I probably have endometriosis and I would need to have surgery (an exploratory laparoscopy) to confirm the diagnosis and to see how bad the cyst was, but my pain was considered not severe enough to send me directly to surgery that day (because I hadn't taken any pain pills), but they offered me some more pain pills, which I obviously refused. So I was referred to an abdominal pain specialist that I had to wait a month to see (and was told to just take a pain pill and deal with the pain- a lot of whiskey was consumed in the month-long waiting time to ease the pain). Yesterday, after a month of impatiently waiting, I finally got to see the surgeon/abdominal pain specialist. I was so nervous about the visit that I did everything but finalize my will beforehand. After lots of questions and a thorough exam, it was determined that I did have a cyst. It ruptured and that is the end of the cyst story. I probably do have endometriosis, but not a severe enough case to warrant surgery at this point (again determined by the amount of pain and lack of pain pills consumed), and also that the majority of my pain is being caused by muscle spasms of my pelvic floor muscles (who knew?!). For this, it was recommended that I take frequent hot baths (nothing like some prescribed me time!) and I am also being sent to physical therapy...If any of you have experience in this type of physical therapy, please share those experiences with me. The doc described it as both learning a series of exercises so that I would be able to combat the spasm when it occurred and also an internal massage which frankly creeps me out.

I Hate Tuesdays!

2011-02-03T13:49:00.000-08:00

I've been pretty silent this week, and it is not by choice, but life happens sometimes. So here is my week so far: Monday- yeah it was a Monday and the whole day I could just see the gray cloud hanging over my head like in the Garfield comic strips when Monday totally kicks his ass

Yep I can definitely relate, but Monday was great in comparison to Tuesday...I managed to get up, get the kids ready and leave the house before 8 o'clock, which is a huge feat for anybody with 3 kids I think (especially since the girls usually sleep until 8 or 8:30), but we had an appointment so off we went. We sat in that damn office for 2 1/2 hours until finally we had completed all requirements and were able to leave to the next part of our day which should have been being in line by 10 to get Ron White tickets. This did not happen, I am sad to say that we didn't get in line until 11:15 ish, (Ron is filming a tribute for the soldiers at the Ryman and all soldiers and spouses were supposed to be able to register for tickets by showing their military ID) and by the time it was our turn to sign up for the tickets, the rules for obtaining them had changed drastically (apparently they posted the instructions on facebook after the offer had been distributed - not really sure how that is acceptable since facebook is labeled as a cautionary website for all military). Not only did you need to provide your military ID, but if the active duty service member was currently stateside, they had to be present, and if they were deployed, the spouse had to present a copy of their orders (I was told this requirement had been dictated by Ron White himself!). That one was a little tough for me. So when I explained that my husband's orders are classified and that I can't have a copy of them, they expected me to contact his commanding officer and have them write an official letter stating exactly that. They refused to speak with anyone over the phone at his office for verification and said obtaining that letter was my only option. Well, I was not about to interrupt the commanding officer's day because some bitch hadn't been provided with her daily dose of chocolate and midol (especially since she also told me that the tickets were going to be all gone by the time I returned and that I would just be put on the cancellation list). So, after wasting the better part of the day (and running out of time to go to the commissary for fear of not being home when my son got off he bus), I headed home to email Mr. Tater Salad directly about my experience.

When I got home, I picked up my son and headed to perform the grocery store parade. In 2 1/2 hours, the kids and I covered my list at Kroger, Target, GFS, and Sam's (See what I got here), returning home in time to put away groceries, have the world's fastest dinner, and be ready for when the missionaries arrived (The missionaries from our church visit often for a lesson.). Apparently, all 3 of them walked through my muddy yard without realizing that there was mud, and tracked it into my house onto my very light colored carpet. No worries, the carpet needs cleaned anyway, but in the meantime, the red dirt stains are clashing with my couch...Following in the footsteps of the horrible, no good, very bad day I was having, my children decided they were going to be an example of how not to act; fighting, screaming, and digging in my potted plants, so I put them in their room for the last 20 minutes of our lesson. Big mistake. HUGE! The little darling proceeded to shit themselves, as babies often do, but the poop squeezed out the legs of the diaper, fell down the pants leg and onto the very light carpet in their bedroom...(Note to self, even when there is a diaper emergency and your diapers don't arrive on schedule from Amazon, never, I repeat, NEVER buy Kroger brand diapers- I am certain that the poop would have been properly placed in the diaper had they been wearing Huggies as normal). Just when you were starting to feel sorry for me and have thoughts that things would get better, I continue the story.....The girls have a very large collection of Little People. The damn things are everywhere (no I did not buy 1 of them, they have all been gifts- all 100 of them- not exaggerating) and they also have several different play sets. I swear every single one of the Little People went "mudding" on the farmer's tractor and were covered head to toe in poop. I call this event The Fecal Follies of Popcorn Peggy and Charlie Poopsalot (the carnies were preparing their next sideshow act -gotta find some humor in all this or I would go nuts!). It's amazing what kids can do in a matter of minutes. There was poop on every board book, toy, wall, and door (yes the baseboards too) in their room, but surprisingly, the girls didn't have any on their face, or hands, just their shoes, legs, and of course bottoms. It was amazing. I really should have taken pictures. I am sure there is some sicko art collector out there that would have loved the new medium of art they were working with. So after the mess was cleaned and the kids were all tucked in, I ended the day with a much needed glass of wine.

I think I need to begin an I Hate Tuesdays campaign. Why can't everyday be Friday?

Finding My Inner Bombshell

2011-01-28T10:05:00.000-08:00

Oh the horror I felt today when I actually took the time to examine myself in the mirror. OMG! was all that I could think. So I knew by the grumble I hear from my jeans every morning that I was starting to pack on the inches. But hey, if the size 4 still zips, I'm going to wear it! Loooking in the mirror I found myself appearing as a condensed version of the Before pictures on the NutriSystem ads- Not cute!

So with the threat of the dreaded swimsuit season quickly approaching, and just the influence of my own self pride and image being shattered, I quickly decided something had to be done and FAST! This obviously does not happen overnight; actually it has been a slow progression since I quit nursing the twins last August. No it is not the eating. You see I am allergic to every good indulgence and calorie-filled morsel out there, (except Rice Krispies treats, and that marshmallowy goodness is one of the only indulgences aside from the wine that I have left and refuse to part with) (I say no to dairy, potatoes, caffeine, beans, and gluten for fear of a raging evil migraine which completely kicks my ass every time it shows its ugly face). and that means, my friends that the problem is definitely inactivity.

Yes we all made those shallow resolutions on the 1st to exercise more, lose weight, feel great, blah, blah, blah. Well folks, I have not strayed too far from keeping that resolution. I have been doing a series of workout videos in the comfort of my own home for about 45 min each day. (The girls really think they are doing me a favor when they sit on my stomache during crunches and ab time. Thanks ladies!). I have become addicted I think to Gunnar Peterson's Core Secrets workouts. You can really feel that what you're doing is working, and aside from having to look at Brooke Burke's perfect post-kids body and keeping myself from vomiting with jealousy all over her to-die-for thighs, it is a favorite in my collection.

What I decided I need to do is measure my results to stay motivated and find my inner bombshell.

SO in the Finding My Inner Bombshell section to the left, you will see my weight and measurements updated for progress every 2 weeks. Yep I'm putting it all out there, and I will even be taking pictures so I can see that the time I am spending on this is worth it. I can't wait for the groundhog to tell us next week that spring is coming and the cold will be subsiding so I can get my fat ass out there and start shedding these unwanted (and heavy) saddlebags!

really?

2011-01-27T14:51:00.000-08:00

So I was cleaning the toilets this morning (I really need to get thinking and invent a self cleaning bathroom. Of all the household responsibilities, that is my least favorite, and every week when I clean them I am not one to toil with), and my son walks in to ask me what I made him for breakfast. SO about that time I looked down at the toilet and the back and sides were coated with a light yellow glow. I just looked at him and here is the conversation:

Son: What?

Me: Really?

Son: What?

Me: Look at all this shit it's disgusting! Don't you see all this pee everywhere?

Son: I guess I see the pee, but I didn't do it.

Me: Really?

Son: I never use that bathroom.

Me: Well then WHO do you suppose decided to paint the toilet and and floor with this nice color?

Son: Maybe the girls did it.

Me: Really? They pee in their diapers, and haven't even thought of using a toilet yet. They can't even reach the door handle to get in here!

Son: Well then it was probably you!

Me: Are you serious? Last time I checked I sit when I pee.

Son: (Blushing at this point) Maybe it was Dad.

Me: Really He came home in the middle of the night from Afghanistan just to pee all over the bathroom and leave without us knowing? (Last time I checked there is no Jettson's teleporter anywhere in our house.)

Son: Well maybe he did it before he left.

Me: Doubt it. The toilets were clean before he left and I clean these damn things every week. It wasn't dirty like this yesterday, and YOU are the only one in this house that stands up and pees right now. So I suggest you go eat your breakfast and then you will be cleaning this toilet.

Son: But I didn't do it. That's nasty. I'm not cleaning it.

Me: Well I am certainly not cleaning it. Ou will be doing it and that is the end of it. This better be the cleanest toilet I have ever seen when you are finished with it. I'll even leave the cleaning supplies for you.

Son: That's no fair!

Me: Life's not fair! Go eat your breakfast.

Son: But what's for breakfast?

Me: There are biscuits on the stove.

Son: Are they the kind with layers?

Me: I haven't bought those in years. I made biscuits and they are in the kitchen.

Son: (from the kitchen) Mom, where's my breakfast?

Me: I told you there were biscuits ready in the kitchen.

Son: But there's no plate ready for me!

Me: Are you serious? The biscuits are right there next to you on the stove and the plates are right above your head. Are you helpless now too?

Son: Maybe, does that mean I don't have to clean the bathroom?

Kids these days! Obviously I do too many things for him if he can't even find the biscuits on the stove! Needless to say I provided a little GPS support so he could get his breakfast ready, complete with directions to where the butter was located in the fridge. If he keeps this up I am going to have to teach him how to use the toilet paper again too! Please God, don't let it get that far! I even contemplated getting the toilet pee targets again to help the little darling practice his aim. The kid is 7 years old give me a friggin' break! (Oh and yes, he did have to clean that toilet, and he also had to clean his own bathroom, which he is required to maintain daily).

Blog Design

2011-01-26T19:50:00.000-08:00

You will be seeing some changes going on. I am trying to find my "look" The red was too dark and dreary. It just didn't put a smile on my face. I am not blog savvy, but I am learning about templates and buttons and all the fun stuff. So bear with me during the changes, and send me your input too. If you need help with your blog, head on over to & She has some great tips and shares some blog design secrets. Thanks Jo-Lynne!

Mama Cass Sewing- The Daily Funny

2011-01-25T13:16:00.000-08:00

SO I have great aspirations to learn how to sew, and since I submitted the final for the tortuous medical transcription class, I have had a little extra play time when the kids are napping. I decided to give sewing a whirl. So the first couple mintes were fine. I decided I was going to make a plastic bag holder out of an old pair of my son's jeans. I got everything ready, set up the sewing machine (which my neighbor thoughtfully left threaded for me - thank's Eric!) and was ready to go....

I sewed a straight line! Yeah me!- -

This is a huge feat. The last time I even thought abut sewing was in high school when we had to sew a mole for chemistry class. It was not a good experience. In fact, it was the first tim my mom had heard me drop the F-bomb (about 100 times). We decided that sewing made me bitter, and mom gave up all hopes of me helping her in her business of custom draperies and home furnishings.

Well, domestic as I have become, I figured if I can conquer bodily functions from 3 kids, canning, cooking, cleaning, pets and marriage, then certainly I was ready to take on sewing. I was feeling good coming right along and then pop! Oh Shit! The thread broke What was I supposed to do now?! I took a deep breath and figured out how to thread the machine, or so I thought. Everything looked good so I started sewing again, the 3rd out of 4 straight lines that I needed in order to complete my project. I was done, I did it, I could sew! Then I turned my project over and it was nothing but a cluster-a jumbled mess of thread that frightened even the seam ripper. My project was doomed. The kids woke up and mommy duties were calling. I packed up the sewing machine for another day.....

2 days later I read the manual and looked at all the pictures to thread the machine and insert the bobbin. Let me tell you that it looked like my infant twins drew these pictures and I am not sure how anyone new to sewing could ever decipher them. This is sewing not rocket science, come on people give me a freakin' break! After I felt that I had gained sufficient Singer sewing machine knowledge from perusing said manual, I decided to apply it and headed to the table to try my luck at sewing again. Within the first 3 movements of the needle there was a loud popping noise equivalent to a BB gun, and all I could think was Oh FUDGE! I did it I shot my eye out! After making sure both eyes were in place and functioning properly, I came to my senses. I had merely broken a needle because obviously the bobbin carriage was not properly placed. After fumbling with it for at least 20 minutes, I consulted the hieroglyphics in the manual again. And again attempted to get everything threaded, and in working order. Another 3 movements of the needle and BANG! shooting across the room was another broken needle that scared the dog so much she felt the need to leave the room! I wonder if she was afraid of her eye being shot out too...

Needless to say my first and second attempts at sewing were unsuccessful. They say the 3rd time is a charm. We will see what tomorrow brings.