MamaGab

The Internal Mommy Wars

2013-05-20T01:00:00.000-05:00

I was getting dressed for the day, drying my hair and mentally running through my checklist of what still needed to be done before we had to leave the house.

Big kids are ready.

Baby needs to be dressed, diapered and nursed.

Stroller is loaded.

Stroller?

Wait, maybe I should skip the stroller and use my Ergo, my favorite baby carrier. This was, after all, a La Leche League meeting. My first one, in fact. While I've recommended that many women attend these meetings, I'd never been, and I wanted to see what it was all about. LLL published my favorite book on nursing, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, which I have read cover to cover, twice (7th & 8th editions). It's good stuff. But more important than anything, I wanted to meet the ladies who run my local LLL, so that I can easily refer moms to them should they need any "real" help, beyond the scope of what I can do.

In fact, it was a La Leche League leader who coached me through my breastfeeding issues with my first baby. She was amazing. And even before I got help from her, it was another former LLL leader who encouraged me over the phone when her daughter called her up and said "Hey Mom, my friend Gabby is having some nursing issues!" Suffice it to say, I love these ladies. They are incredible women and I share their passion for breastfeeding.

Yet there's one area where we differ. I'm not "all in" when it comes to Attachment Parenting. I'm not against it, but it's just not me. Or at least a lot of it's not. I'm a mixed bag when it comes to parenting techniques, but you'd probably be safe to describe me as more conventional in some areas.

LLL is very much in favor of attachment parenting, especially where it strengthens the breastfeeding relationship. And babywearing, not stroller pushing, is what AP folks prefer. It lines up so well with the theories.

But for me, while I do find babywearing to be a huge help in many circumstances, this was not one of them. My kids are 4, 2, and 9 months, and we would have to cross a busy parking lot. We have it down to a system. My oldest child holds on tightly to the stroller while I push the boys, who are safest in the stroller.

In my mind that morning, as I got ready for my meeting, I waged my very own mommy war.

I thought of the disapproving looks I might receive, the judgments that might be made. All because I pushed a stroller.

But I could not push the stroller. I could make it work. I could use the Ergo, which I keep in the van at all times, ready to go to the park, the grocery store, or many other places. And then, when I walked into that room full of moms with their babies, I would fit right in. I would instantly be recognized as a kindred spirit. It wasn't that much of a stretch. I've been called a hippy mom on more than one occasion, whether it was because of cloth diapers or a baby sling, Moby wrap, or my beloved Ergo.

And as this mommy war waged inside my head, I recognized the foolishness of it, of changing my routine and my habits just to fit in. I would roll my eyes at a teenager for doing the same. Why is it any less foolish for a grown woman to do it?

I laughed at myself and told my husband about my temptation. He said it's a shame I should have to worry about it. I said this is just how women are.

But ultimately, it's a Gabby-problem, not a problem with these women, women that I didn't even know yet.

I see the Mommy Wars waged so often that I'm ready for a fight, even before one has begun. And the biggest issue is that I struggle with wanting to please other people instead of focusing on what is best for us, the little family that God has entrusted to me.

I used the stroller that morning and made a decision to be me. Just as I thought, the other moms adhered to the AP style, and were a little surprised to hear that I don't co-sleep. This mommy doesn't sleep well with a baby in her bed! And I really don't know if I got strange looks or judgment from the ladies. I was too busy corralling my children to notice. But I did notice how kind they were to my children, how the leader had packed toys, not for her kids, but for everyone else's. I noticed how intentional they were about discussing the assigned topic but also meeting the needs of individual moms.

And I noticed how kind and encouraging they were to me, the lone newcomer.

Take that, Mommy Wars.

Song {Five Minute Friday}

2013-05-17T10:10:00.000-05:00

Follow my blog with Bloglovin Five minutes. No editing. No deleting.

Song.

Each of my children has a song. I call it their theme song. I think every child should have a theme song.

When my daughter was born, I used to sing "Sweet Isabelle," to the tune of "Sweet Caroline." I would whisper it in her ear when she was upset. Sweet Isabelle. Good times never seemed so good. I've been inclined to believe they never would.

My sister said I was the baby whisperer because no matter where we were, I could calm her down by whispering Isabelle's theme song in her ear.

After so many years of singing the song this way, it feels strange to hear the Neil Diamond version sung correctly. Doesn't everyone know it should be Sweet Isabelle?

Andrew's song is to the tune of "Winnie the Pooh." Tubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff.

And my third baby's theme song has his name, to the tune of "Skinnamarink." I love you in the morning and in the afternoon, and early in the evening and underneath the moon."

Every baby has a theme song.

But my daughter is 4 now. She still gets a big grin on her face when she hears her song because in her little world, everything revolves around her, and it only makes sense that every song should revolve around her too.

Yet she has changed her mind on her theme song. When she hears me sing "Jesus Loves Me" to her two year old brother, to her baby brother, and even to her when she feels sad or scared, she tells me what she thinks of her theme song.

"Mommy, that's my theme song."

Little ones to Him belong
They are weak, but He is strong.
Yes Jesus loves me
The Bible tells me so.

I do believe she's right about that.

What songs do you love to sing your little ones?

Making Birthday Cakes at Home: The Minnie Mouse Cake. Living with Food Allergies Series

2013-05-17T01:00:00.000-05:00

Izzy, 3, blowing out the candles on her birthday cake. Nana and Aunt Dominique made this one.

I tried to encourage her to go with something different, but then thought better of it. The Minnie Mouse cake was easy, we'd already done it before, and it would make her happy. Plus, she would get to celebrate her birthday at Disney World in a few weeks, so this seemed like the perfect year for yet another Minnie Mouse cake.

My big girl, now 4, loving her Minnie Mouse cake. Mommy & Nana made this one.

This was the cake I learned on, my first fondant cake. My mom talked me through the process step-by-step and showed me how to make the fondant.

Step 1: Bake your cakes and let them cool. We opted for a tiered cake this time, instead of the square one from the previous year. Choose a nut-free cake mix, like Betty Crocker or Pillsbury.

Step 2: Make marshmallow fondant. Add pink coloring and reserve some fondant to stay white for the polka dots. Cover the cakes. We used a simple recipe that my mom found on youtube. I'm sure there are plenty of good recipes out there, but this one involves microwaving marshmallows, adding powdered sugar and a dab of Crisco. AmeriColor makes nut-free decorator colors that are just as good as Wilton, without the nuts.

Step 3: Trace or draw a Mickey Mouse outline on black sugar sheets, which are usually nut-free. Cut with a clean pair of scissors and use a dab of water to make the cutouts adhere to the cake. We only made three and placed them strategically around the cake.

Step 4: Use any round object to cut out polka dots from your white fondant. Place them randomly around the cake. You can see a big difference in the size in polka dots from one birthday cake to the next, because we used a different object. It really doesn't matter how big or small they are.

Step 5: Details! We topped the cake with the Minnie Mouse ears my sister had bought at Disney World, but you can use anything cute. A cute Minnie Mouse toy that you'll give to the birthday girl would be a great option too. Add a white border to your cake. Use leftover fondant scraps to make tiny bows for the mouse ears. Add dabs of icing for the candles. Note that my daughter insisted on princess crown candle holders. They didn't match the cake, but well, it's her birthday cake! She gets what she wants this time.

Variations: In the first cake above, my mom and sister did not make fondant. They colored the icing pink and then smoothed it out over the cake, using paper towels to create the nice flat look of fondant.

I hope you enjoyed seeing the birthday cakes. If I can make my kids' cakes, anyone can, because I'm really not good at this kind of thing! It's been a challenge to learn it, but it's nice to know I can make safe and cute cakes for my kiddos.

What do you make at home instead of buying from a bakery? Have you tried making your own birthday cakes?

Making Birthday Cakes at Home: An Easy CARS Cake. Living With Food Allergies Series

2013-05-16T09:20:00.001-05:00

I hope you don't have high hopes for today's featured cake. Unlike yesterday's fancy cake, with this birthday cake, my goal was simple: Throw together a quick cake for an early birthday celebration with grandparents. I made my more complex birthday cake a week later, but I just want you to see that making a nut free cake can be as simple as reading a box and being careful with your decorations.

Again, I went with our Cars theme.

Step 1: Bake Cake. Go with a nut-free cake, like Betty Crocker or Pillsbury.

Step 2: Frost as usual. I'm not going to tell you how many cans of chocolate frosting went on this cake. You would be shocked by the sugar overload. Again, read labels to find a yummy rich chocolate frosting that is not processed with peanuts. I love Betty Crocker.

Step 3: Add fun stuff to the top! Walmart now carries these great Wilton kits for decorating cakes. We bought lightening shaped sprinkles, a candle with Mater & Lightning McQueen, and these great tire-shaped candle holders with candles. Again, check your sprinkles! A lot of Wilton sprinkles are not safe.

And that's it! Enjoy the cake and try not to overdose on all the sugar. And remember, sometimes, we don't need the fancy birthday cakes. Honestly, our son was just as happy with this cake as the other, fancier one. Life is not about impressing people with my Facebook pictures or being the Pinterest Perfect mommy.

He loved it...

But once he saw his present from his grandparents,, he was done with the cake and wanted to go for a ride on Mater.

When you make birthday cakes for your kids, do you opt for simple or a more complex cake?

Making Birthday Cakes at Home: The CARS Cake. Living With Food Allergies Series

2013-05-15T01:00:00.000-05:00

This spring, four children have died from anaphylaxis, and of those four, three had peanut allergies, like my son, who is also allergic to cashews and chickpeas. In honor of Food Allergy Awareness Week 2013, I'm posting pictures of my children's nut allergy friendly birthday cakes.

If you remember from my list of nut allergy rules, we avoid desserts and bakery food at all costs, because nuts are so common in baked goods.

After our son was diagnosed with nut allergies, I realized that I would have no choice but to learn to bake and decorate cakes, a task I usually leave to my mom and sister, who are excellent at it. But they live five hours away, and since I can't rely on bakery cakes as an option, my mom and sister have started teaching me how to decorate cakes. I really think people go a little bit overboard with the fancy cakes these days, so even though I usually try to keep things simple, I can't help but be a little jealous when I see the fancy cakes people purchase from bakeries. My children will never have bakery cakes, because of my toddler's nut allergies. But since I'm learning how to do them myself, maybe they can have fun cakes anyway, even if they're not professional quality. This week, I'll share my cakes with you.

The CARS Cake

My son is all about Lightning McQueen and Mater, so I decided a Cars themed cake would be perfect for him. This was the first fondant cake that I made completely on my own. I did most of the work late at night, while the kids were sleeping. When I was trying to put on the finishing touches, I let the kids "help" decorate for the party by putting Cars stickers on the plastic table cloth. I was desperate!

Step 1: Choose a theme and find inspiration. I browsed Pinterest for Cars cakes, pinning every cake I liked, no matter how complicated or simple. You can check out my Pinterest board for birthday cake ideas here if you want to see the cakes that inspired my final creation.

My son's birthday cake. This is the first fondant cake I made completely on my own.

Step 2: Get realistic about your cake decorating skills. I stink at piping frosting. I know this. And I have no idea how to create large objects out of fondant or modeling chocolate. So I skipped any ideas that would require extensive use of those skills. I also purchased a safe box mix, like Betty Crocker, for my cake. I knew better than to attempt a homemade cake when I had so much decorating to do.

Step 3: Bake the cake and let it cool. Dirty ice it. If you've watched Cake Boss, you know what this means. You can use Wilton's* decorator frosting or make your own. I chose to make mine and it was so much better than Wilton. I found this recipe on youtube, but any recipe will work just fine. Nut-free option: Use a safe frosting and safe extracts, like McCormick's butter flavoring or vanilla. My favorite is the Honduran vanilla we've brought home from mission trips. Yum!

*A word about Wilton: Their icing is iffy. Last time I checked, the large cans were not nut free but the small ones were. Their sprinkles are iffy too. Some are processed with nuts and some are not. Their flavorings are usually unsafe, as is their fondant. If you use any food items from Wilton, proceed with caution and remember to check every label every time.

Step 4: Make your marshmallow fondant, work in food coloring until it's the right color, and cover your cake. Again, I followed a recipe my mother had come across on youtube. Marshmallow fondant is cheap, quick and easy to make, fun to work with, and of course, nut free. I used the Wilton fondant tools, like the roller, mat, and smoother. They worked out beautifully. A pizza cutter is a great way to cut out your fondant. AmeriColor is a great nut free food coloring. I bought mine on Amazon.

Step 5: Sugar sheet shapes! Sugar sheets are one of my mom's favorite new things to try. They're not cheap, but they're an easy way to add some pizzazz to your cake. The colorful sheet of sugar paper is attached to a sheet of plastic, so I simply flip the paper over and use a marker to draw my designs on the plastic. Then I use a clean pair of scissors to cut out the design. A dab of water makes it adhere to the cake. For our Cars cake, I drew objects on brown sugar sheets that reminded me of the landscape of Radiator Springs, white clouds, a black two, and yellow lines for the road on the number two. Last time I checked, sugar paper were nut free, but with Wilton, you never know, so be sure to check before you buy!

Step 6: Pipe the icing. I chose a simple design for the edges of my cake, using just a basic round tip. Then I wrote my son's name on the cake and added a couple of icing blobs to help the cars and candles stick to the top. Again, I stink at piping, so I try to avoid extensive piping work.

Step 7: Top with toys to make the cake super cute. For ours, we added Lightning McQueen and Mater, along with Cars themed candles.

Step 8: Enjoy! And invite another nut allergic child to enjoy your cake too! One of my dearest friends has a son with a nut allergy. If I'm going to all the time and trouble of making a nut free cake for my 2 year old, then why not invite her kids over to enjoy the cake too? For once, her son could sit at a birthday party and enjoy the same cake as every other guest. No cupcake brought from home. No funny looks from other kids. Just a little boy enjoying a piece of cake. Out of habit, he started to ask me if the ice cream was safe, so I interrupted him to tell him that yes, everything in my house was safe for him, including the ice cream. He grinned big and dug in! Andrew, my two year old, has no idea of the things his mommy does to keep him safe. All that mattered to him was seeing his favorite characters sitting on top of the cake. He was a happy boy!

Do you make your own cakes for your children? Have you attempted fondant at home before?

From 5K to 5 Miles, Without Training

2013-05-14T10:19:00.003-05:00

I know a lot of you have been keeping up with my new love for running. I never thought I would be a runner, but here I am, running regularly and loving it.

Up until recently, the most I had run was a 5K, 3.1 miles, and I'd completed two of those. We ran in our first 5K in March, and my time was 45 minutes. I improved my time by a few minutes in my second race in April, which I finished in 42 minutes.

Unprepared

On Saturday, even though neither of us had ever run five miles before, my husband and I ran in a five mile race. We didn't intentionally set out to run in the Contraband Days Five Miler. I signed up to run virtually in the HER 5K, but since we were out of town for Mother's Day, I called my sister to ask if I could join her running club's Saturday morning run to complete the 5K with them. The club, however, was running in the five miler, so we decided to join them. I would wear my sister's GPS watch to get an accurate time and distance for the HER 5K race, and then keep running the five miler.

But I changed my goal. Instead of trying to beat my pace and time in the HER 5K, which is only 3.1 miles, my goal was to have the stamina to complete the five miler. I read advice from Jeff Galloway and decided that there was no shame in walking occasionally during the race, if that's what enabled me to complete the race without an injury.

I also knew that I would be the last person to cross the finish line, but I tried not to dwell on it. As a perfectionist, these kinds of thoughts hurt my pride and can easily keep me from running. In general,

if I'm not good at something, I don't even want to try.

Terrible, I know, but it's completely true. I've had to let go of that attitude with running.

Because I hadn't trained for a longer run, I was really nervous. Two days beforehand, I ran four miles to challenge my body and see if I could do it. I was completely shocked to see that I really could run four miles, and walking for a minute after completing each mile really enabled me to recover quickly and keep running. Five miles suddenly felt possible.

Race Day

On race day, I felt terrible. We arrived at my mom's house in Louisiana around 11 pm, and it was well after midnight by the time we got the kids and ourselves in bed. Sleeping near me in the pack and play, my nine month old decided to wake up several times during the night to nurse, so by the time my alarm went off at 5:30 am, I felt like I'd been run over by a Mack truck. But I got up, fed the baby (again) so that I could leave him with my mom for a few hours, and got ready for the race.

The race itself was amazing. The weather was perfect for it, breezy and cool in the morning, though it warmed up quickly, and my husband and I had almost forgotten about that South Louisiana humidity. The route was beautiful, running along Lake Charles on Shell Beach Drive.

I started walking for a minute at a time around the 1 mile point, way before I felt tired, as Galloway had suggested. When I neared the 2 mile point, I started walking again, but as I walked, I looked at my time and realized I could actually beat my 5K time. I ran hard, and when I saw other runners stopping to walk as they approached mile 3, I kept going so that I could beat my time.

After I finished the 5K, I took a walk break to recover, and I continued to walk/run until I hit the four mile mark. I wanted to run the entire last mile, and I knew that I could push myself to do it. As I ran that last mile, I started passing up runners who had passed me long ago in the race. And when I neared the finish line, I ran harder so that I could get the best time and pace possible.

Results

Personal bests all around: My husband beat his pace and ran the 5 Miler with a sub 8 minute mile. His time was 39:25.

I beat my pace too. I finished the 5K in 39:40, beating my 42 minute 5K from last month. My pace was 12:48/mile, a vast improvement from the 15 minute and 14 minute miles I've been running. And I was so happy to get it under 40 minutes! I finished the 5 Miler in 1:05:23, which puts my pace at 13:05/mile.

That means I ran faster, farther, and longer than I'd ever run before.

And I wasn't the last one to cross the finish line. There were about 25 runners behind me, and I finished just a few minutes behind my twin sister, who is my running inspiration. She has run two marathons and considers a five mile run to be a short run.

These are great times for me, a new runner with weight to lose. I've noticed my pace improving as the pounds come off. It's a really beautiful cycle. The more I run, the more weight I lose, and the more weight I lose, the better I run. It's motivating and exciting. It feels amazing to challenge and push myself every week.

How are you challenging yourself lately? Are you like me, and prefer not to try something if you're not going to succeed, or do you allow yourself to fail sometimes?

Comfort {Five Minute Friday}

2013-05-10T07:07:00.000-05:00

Comfort.

That's all my little girl needed when she ran into the kitchen, crying that her little brother had hit her again. I'm sure she took a toy from him or wasn't sharing with him, so I knew there was another side to this story.

I was busy working on dinner, doing my multi-tasking. Cleaning, cooking, and cleaning some more.

And she was crying.

I knew she wasn't really hurt. It was just her little feelings that needed some comfort.

Everything in me wanted to say "Get over it."

I have things to do. Doesn't she know that I've got a job to do? Doesn't she want to eat? Doesn't she realize that I'm working on the job of motherhood?

I just want to get dinner cooked. I just want to get the house in order. I just want to get this laundry put away before daddy gets home.

And she needs comfort for a wound that wasn't even there.

And I fought the battle that wages inside of me, the side of me that wants to put tasks over people, my to-do list over my daughter.

So I sigh, and I sit on the kitchen floor, the not-so-clean floor with too many Cheerios left over from the baby's snack time, and I pull her into my lap, saying "I'm sorry, baby girl. I love you."

And she smiles, says it's OK, and goes back to playing. She's happy with mommy and can forgive her brother, because mommy gave her comfort.

Truly, this is the job of motherhood. Not the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning.

Comfort.

STOP.

This post is part of Five Minute Friday.

The Rules of Nut Allergies: Living with Food Allergies Series

2013-05-08T01:00:00.000-05:00

When my son, Andrew, first had a real, no doubt about it, reaction to peanuts, I came home from the pediatrician's office and immediately threw out the peanut butter.

And then I looked around at the pantry, thinking "There's no way it's this easy."

I remembered the pediatrician telling me that we needed to see a pediatric allergist immediately so that she could teach us how to handle the allergy. Our ped said "Peanuts are in everything."

So I knew it couldn't be as simple as throwing out the peanut butter. Indeed it wasn't.

I sent a quick email to a friend who had dealt with peanut allergies in her child for years. She lives in England, so a phone call was out of the question. Then I called a dear friend in town and asked her to give me the scoop on peanut allergies. Nut allergies can become anaphylactic at any point, and we don't know if it would happen on Andrew's third time of eating nuts or his thirtieth, so diligence is important. One month later, when we were finally able to be seen by our pediatric allergist, her advice was completely identical to both friends' advice, so I knew they had not steered me in the wrong direction.

So here are "The Rules." If you're like I was, thinking that it couldn't be that hard to avoid nuts, think again. Check out The Rules so that you can really understand what's going on when a friend tells you her child is allergic to peanuts*.

*Our toddler is allergic to peanuts and cashews, so both peanuts and tree nuts must be avoided. Do keep in mind that I am not a doctor, and I should not be giving you medical advice. If your doctor says to avoid something, please avoid it.

The Rules

I've become a professional label reader. Anything that comes in a box or a package must be examined carefully before I put it in the grocery cart. Here's what I'm looking for:

Nothing with peanuts or tree nuts.

Nothing with traces of peanuts or tree nuts.

Nothing that may contain peanuts or tree nuts.

Nothing processed with peanuts or tree nuts or in a facility with peanuts or tree nuts.

The Processing Question

Most people think that it's going overboard to not permit him to eat anything processed with nuts. However, this was a rule laid out by the allergist, and if you have an understanding of plants and processing, you'll know that multiple foods are processed in the same facility and even on the same lines.

So Stouffer's Animal Crackers, for example, are processed with nuts. This means that a nut product was made on the same factory line. After that, the animal crackers were made. Nuts could be anywhere in the machinery, and a simple wash down would not be sufficient to ensure that no nuts were in the machinery, which is why Stouffer's puts this information on the label.

The very next batch of animal crackers would probably be the ones at greatest risk for cross contamination. Am I getting that batch or am I getting a batch that's probably safe? Who knows? It's a gamble. And it's a gamble that I'm not willing to take, especially with a 2 year old who can't tell me if his tongue tingles or his throat is swelling.

It's important to remember that this information is voluntary. Companies don't have to put processing information on their labels. Processing also varies by location, so a food that's safe for me may not be safe for someone in California. When I wrote a previous post about my mother's diligence with avoiding nuts, someone asked me why couldn't she Google the product on her iphone. It's not that simple. An internet search of ingredients will tell you what the food contains. It will not, however, tell you what the food is processed with, because that varies across regions and even by month.

Typical unsafe foods are granola bars, chocolate, and various crackers, snack cakes (all Little Debbies), desserts, and breads. But I've also found oatmeal, barbecue sauce, and any number of random things that are also processed with nuts.

Changes in Processing Facilities

Companies make changes all the time to their facilities, so it's important to check every label every time.

Again, we have to ask. Is this going overboard? Consider this: Two weeks ago, I picked up a package of hamburger buns that I'd purchased many times before, always checking the label first. But this time, the label said something different: May contain traces of peanuts & tree nuts. Nice.

Baked Goods

Most families with nut allergies have the same policy when it comes to baked goods: If mama doesn't bake it, the child doesn't eat it. Plain and simple.

Baked goods are the worst offenders with nut allergies. Most chocolates are processed with nuts, for example. Vanilla and even food coloring, such as Wilton's Decorator Colors are all processed with nuts.

Bakeries themselves pose quite a challenge, since nuts are in so many baked goods. If you've ever seen Cake Boss or any other baking show, you can see why cross contamination would be a huge area of concern for any family with nut allergies. Their are too many variables and too many things being made in the same area.

Consequently, my mom, my sister, or I bake all of the kids' birthday cakes. I can make sure that I use a safe cake mix like Betty Crocker or Pillsbury, safe vanilla such as McCormick, safe food coloring like AmeriColor, and safe chocolate like Hershey's. Hershey's, by the way, is an amazing company that is dedicated to keeping nut free foods truly free from nuts.

I keep a bag in the freezer with cupcakes that I have made, and when we go to a birthday party, we thaw one out and bring it for my son, who is happy to eat it. One day, he'll be sad that he can't eat the same food as other kids, but at two, he is oblivious.

No Nuts at All

Another basic rule of nut allergies is that, even though my son is only allergic to peanuts and cashews, he can not eat any other nuts. All nuts are processed together, so shelled walnuts can contain small bits of peanuts or any other nut, for that matter.

However, we did find a local pecan farmer selling pecans last fall, so I purchased many pecans from him on the side of the road. He has no other nuts on his farm, just a pecan grove. When our toddler tasted his first pecan, his reaction was a loud mmmmmm.

The Peanut Oil Question

I know many people who disagree with this advice, but again, we follow the recommendations of our allergist, and I've read other research that supports it. Are you ready for it?

Peanut oil is safe.

Surprised? I was. Most peanut oil is refined, and in the process of refining it, the peanut proteins are removed, thus removing the allergen. Peanut oil labelled as cold pressed, gourmet, expelled, or aromatic, however, are not safe for those with peanut allergies and should be avoided. These are very expensive and not found at your local fast food joint.

We were just happy to learn that we can still fry a turkey at Thanksgiving. This is the stuff that matters to Cajuns!

A Safe Home

We want our home to be completely safe for our toddler, so that if he were to get into the pantry, his disobedience wouldn't lead to a medical emergency. This also provides a large measure of safety when we leave the kids with a babysitter. We always give an Epipen demonstration, but it's comforting to know that she shouldn't have to use it.

Nut allergies are complex and tricky to avoid, but with the right information, you can learn to avoid them and keep your allergic child safe. When our son was first diagnosed, I remember feeling so much anxiety, like nuts were surrounding me everywhere. And they are. Christmas, Easter, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and family gatherings are times of great caution. However, by being cautious, informing ourselves, educating those around us, and asking lots of questions, we can minimize the risks. I refill my son's Epipen prescription every year, but I also hope that I'll never have to use it.

Mothers of children with nut allergies, is there anything I forgot? Do you follow these same rules or is your comfort level different? For those without allergies, did you realize that nut allergies were this complex? What was surprising to you?

Teaching Scripture to Children and Taming My Tongue

2013-05-05T23:28:00.000-05:00

Those who know me best know that I struggle with what the Bible calls "taming the tongue" in James 3. Lately, I've noticed that my whole family struggles with it.

Everybody.

Mommy. Daddy. Kids. Everybody.

I hear myself repeatedly telling my 4 year old to watch her tone of voice with her brother, and as soon as I correct her, I wonder where she learned it from? Mommy, perhaps?

My 2 year old is the greatest fit pitcher there ever was. This kid has always been great at screaming to get what he wants. Even though I don't give into him, he still has to try. Yesterday, he pitched no fewer than 5 fits before naptime. Maybe 6.

Remember this picture?

This fit happened because I had the audacity to put a hat on his head as part of his costume.

And sometimes I wonder how much Andrew and I have in common.

Taming the tongue, speaking kindly and honoring God with our speech is something we talk about often here.

"The tongue also is a fire, a word of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one's life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell." James 3:6

Yikes.

Meanwhile, last week I finally took down our magnetic wall calendar that we'd been using in the kitchen to help Isabelle understand the concept of days, weeks, and months. Our 9 month old is crawling now, and the small magnetic numbers are a choking hazard, so I'm packing it up for a while. As I was taking it down, I noticed the back had a dry erase board.

So I took the magnets off and flipped it over to the dry erase side. Then I pulled out scripture about words and this is what I came up with:

Proverbs 16:24: Pleasant words are a honeycomb,

Sweet to the soul

and healing to the bones.

It's a simple concept, one that tons of moms use. And it's right there in the kitchen. I've printed passages and placed them in the kitchen, but it's so much easier to simply wipe and erase.

We've worked on scripture memory all year with my oldest, through the AWANA program. But this was different. We could focus on one verse as a family over the course of the week, in an area that we've all struggled with lately.

Izzy gets honeycombs. She loves Winnie the Pooh and has enjoyed using honey as a cough syrup because it means she's just like Pooh Bear. So we talk about how kind words make us feel good (sweet to the soul) and can even comfort us when we feel sad (healing to the bones).

And after 3 days of having this up in the kitchen, my 4 year old had it memorized. I even heard her quoting it to her 2 year old brother when he was angry with her. "Andwoo, pleasant words are a honeycomb," she admonished.

Have fun taming his tongue, Izzy. The force is strong with this one.

What are some ways that you work with your little ones on learning and applying scripture?

Brave {Five Minute Friday}

2013-05-03T00:21:00.001-05:00

Brave.

You're so brave.

I couldn't have done it.

But maybe you could've. Maybe if it was your newborn baby and you didn't have a choice, you could've done it too. Sometimes in life, we have no option. We sit there, in a waiting room for hours, after the anesthesiologist with no bedside manner at all said "Your baby could die in surgery." And we sit there and wait.

And wait.

By ourselves.

My husband was coming, driving in from back home, because only one of us was allowed on that jet plane to the children's hospital.

So I was by myself.

Just me, my cell phone and more text messages than I could ever have possibly responded to, from people who, like me, had no idea how such a healthy, chunky baby could possibly have a lung defect that would require losing half a lung in emergency surgery.

It was two long years ago, yet just last night, an acquaintance told me how brave I was, and how she prayed for me every day of that ordeal.

But I wasn't alone. God never left. The author of life, the maker of lungs and their defects was with me that awful morning when I waited on the edge of my hard waiting room seat, eager for every surgical update possible.

He knew what the outcome would be.

A perfect baby boy. And a not-so-brave mama who now knows, without a doubt, just how good God is when everything is dark.

STOP.

This was my first time responding to the prompt in Five Minute Fridays. Click the link below to see how others responded to the prompt.

Wordless Wednesday & a Baby Mugging

2013-05-01T08:51:00.001-05:00

So I had to mug my baby. It took five minutes but was tons of fun for my kids. They think it's hilarious that Alexandre can fit in mommy's coffee mug.

Here he is, chilling out in my favorite coffee mug, which says "Blessed and Loved."

And this one is my favorite.

Have you mugged a baby lately?

Laundry Room Organization & Before and After Pics

2013-04-30T11:45:00.000-05:00

I tackled Jessica Fisher's Zone Defense challenge for the month of April. This month's zone was the laundry room, and boy did my laundry room need help.

Before

All the laundry in this picture is clean. I don't put dirty clothes in the laundry room because it's just too small. But everything was a wreck. I needed to organize, not just for my sanity, but to lay the groundwork for a project that w're going to tackle in our home.

In the next few weeks, we're going to start taking down all the wallpaper in the kitchen. The plan is to paint the dining room, the kitchen, and since the kitchen is attached to the laundry room, this whole area will be painted too.

I hate chaos, so to make the project easier, I knew I would need to reorganize the laundry room and the kitchen too.

Step 1: Get all the clean clothes out of there. My "system" is to wash and fold 2-3 loads of clothes every day. With five of us, including a pre-schooler, a toddler, and a self-feeding infant, we go through tons of laundry.

Step 2: Pull out and Purge. Get everything off the shelves and out of the cabinet so that I could see what I have. Toss what I don't need. The biggest challenge with my laundry room is that I live in an old, charming, 1940s era house. While I love my house, storage can be a challenge because there are no linen closets. We do have a garage instead of a carriage house, fortunately, but it's detached. My husband has to keep some tools in the house and we need to keep some basic gardening supplies in the house too, especially this time of year. I've fought this concept for years, but I decided recently to embrace it and simply add more shelves to the laundry room to accommodate.

Step 3: Clean and wipe down all surfaces.

Step 4: Put everything in containers, when possible, and label everything.

Step 5: Put everything on shelves or in the cabinet, with only a few essentials out on top of the washer & dryer.

After

Now this works for me. It's functional because my husband can keep his tools readily available, but everything has a labeled home now.

We have a large wooden rod that he'll hang in the laundry room too, attached to the shelf, so that I can pull things out of the dryer and hang them immediately, but I don't see a point in putting the rod up until after our painting project is complete.

Hopefully this'll be the last time you see this old wallpaper up. I'm ready to start tearing it down!

What organizational projects have you tackled lately? Do you have any tips for keeping the laundry room clean?

What Every Woman With Severe Morning Sickness Wants You to Know

2013-04-29T01:00:00.000-05:00

No, I'm not pregnant. Ha. If you've read my blog for a while, then you know I've spent a good portion of the past 5 years of my life pregnant. But at the moment, I happen to not be pregnant.

I am, however, running in the HER Foundation 5K in a couple of weeks as a virtual runner. My fees will go to help fund research for hyperemesis gravidarum, a very severe form of morning sickness.

I recently read a blog post touting a "cure" for morning sickness that infuriated me for the lack of compassion the author had for moms with bad cases of morning sickness. Like so many other articles about morning sickness, it was just another reminder of how few women understand what it's like to have severe morning sickness, or hyperemesis gravidarum. I remember feeling this way when Kate Middleton was hospitalized with HG. I saw many women on Facebook saying "What's the big deal? It's just morning sickness, so get over it! All pregnant women go through it!"

In some ways, it's like a club that you enter when you become pregnant. Every woman who has ever been pregnant will tell you that either she's never had morning sickness or that she felt nauseous, terrible, and awful for that first yucky trimester. And because normal morning sickness does indeed feel horrible and awful, most women have a hard time imagining that anyone could possibly have it worse.

But some do have it worse.

I remind myself of that all the time. I have very severe morning sickness that never goes away the entire 9 months. At my best, I will only throw up once or twice a week. But at my worst, I'm throwing up 3-5 times a day. I've even thrown up 5 times in 2 hours. It's that bad.

And I remind myself that some women have it worse.

So join me in suspending your unbelief for a minute. Say it with me now: Some women have it worse.

Several of us who do indeed have it worse wrote this blog post together. I asked other women who have severe, debilitating morning sickness what they would want their friends to know. This is what they said. This is what we said.

What we want our friends to know about severe morning sickness:

1. We're not doing it for attention. Trust me, I'd rather get attention for lots of other things, like just being a happy, healthy pregnant lady. There's enough belly rubbing, asking about your due date, and discussions of baby plans to make a pregnant woman have plenty of attention. We don't exaggerate our morning sickness woes to make anyone feel sorry for us.

And not all of us are hospitalized with HG. Only the most severe cases require IVs. I generally have enough good days in between my bad days that enable me to rehydrate. There have, however, been a couple of times when I should've gone in for fluids, but to be honest, I couldn't think clearly enough to make that choice, so I opted to spend time in bed, sipping bottled water on my end table.

2. It doesn't feel better to vomit. Honestly, this is one of the most hurtful things a person can tell me because it completely nullifies my suffering. I hear women say that they would love to vomit so that the nausea would finally end. But it doesn't, at least it doesn't for many of us. Once I vomit, not only am I still nauseous, but I'm also exhausted from the retching, I have broken capillaries on my face, and I need to lay down immediately. The further along I am in pregnancy, the more it exhausts me to get sick.

To say it feels better to vomit completely discounts how rough it is on the body to vomit so much. I've had fillings in my teeth that only lasted a few years instead of a decade, most likely because of the damage done from vomiting so much. Saying that it feels better to vomit only makes a woman with severe morning sickness want to curl up in her bed and cry.

3. We feel useless and alone. We're not any good at fulfilling our roles in life. I can't be the wife, mother, friend, and daughter I would love to be. I'm even later than usual because no one plans on vomiting three times before church in the morning. I do leave margin in my schedule for getting sick or resting when nauseous, but some days are rougher than others. Making it to the grocery store feels impossible. Making it out of the grocery store feels even more impossible sometimes. I've called my husband from the back of Walmart, in tears, because I don't think it's possible to walk to the front. I'm spent from too much vomiting and pregnancy exhaustion. No one gets it, which is obvious because of the hurtful comments made by others.

4. We've already tried ______. Fill in the blank: Crackers, sprite, eating before getting out of bed, sea bands, ginger ale, ginger tea, ginger snaps, ginger supplements, peppermint, protein, carbs, snacking constantly, zofran, phenergen, reglan, B6 Unisom, the BRAT diet, drinking lots of water, not drinking water during meals, keeping cool, wearing loose clothing, laying down in a dark quiet room. You name it, we've tried it. We have Google too, and you can believe we've Googled this issue to death. Any comment like this, even though it's meant to be helpful, implies that we just haven't tried hard enough. I remember my husband coming home from work one day saying "Have you ever heard of hyperemesis? I think you have it." That's where our Googling left us. Nothing worked, nothing cured it. Many things alleviated symptoms a bit, but try as I may, I would still vomit. At work, at church, in a cup in the car, in the front yard, in the kitchen sink, and in way too many parking lots. Instead of looking for the magic cure, I've turned my attention to coping.

5. We may not talk about it much, so know that we vomit way more often than you'll ever know. I love to talk about anything else in pregnancy besides vomiting. A lot of times, I feel sick just talking about it, but other times, I just want to be positive. And then there are times when I can tell that the another woman just doesn't get it. She thinks I'm dealing with "normal" morning sickness. So I steer the conversation in a different direction. I really don't even talk about it much with my doctor during pregnancy. He knows I throw up and he sees the numbers on the scale that stay the same for months at a time, and he's tried every safe prescription possible to keep me from vomiting, so there's nothing else he can do.

It gets old discussing it, and as I said before, I don't want attention for this issue. I've decided to blog about it for the same reason I blog about everything else: to encourage, inform, and edify other women. You may be someone who needs to know that others go through it too, or you may be the friend that another woman needs as she's struggling.

6. We know we're blessed to have a baby. Truly, we do, and we remind ourselves of this all the time. We never resent the baby, just the fact that our bodies don't respond to pregnancy the way that other women's bodies do.

7. Help a mama out. Want to help? Clean house with us. Offer to watch our kids so we can rest, take a nap, or catch up on the house work. Invite us to dinner, since it's far easier to eat a meal that we didn't have to smell and cook beforehand. Bring us a meal when we're pregnant, not just when we've had a baby. Everyone else we know complains about the newborn stage of babies and how hard it is, but my husband and I feel that pregnancy is always far worse than juggling children and sleepless nights. For us, nothing is harder than pregnancy. Nothing.

8. Encourage, sympathize, and have compassion with your words. Saying "Every woman has to go through this," "It will pass," or telling me that you're sorry I feel so nauseous will only make me feel more alone. Nausea is rough on pregnant women. I get that and I don't discount that, but I have nausea and steady vomiting for 9 months. There's a huge difference.

Statistically, about 3% of women have severe morning sickness or hyperemesis.

Then there's the 7% of women who understand and sympathize with those women.

And then there's everyone else. 90%. At least that's how it feels. Sometimes, it feels like no one understands.

Make some extra effort. Be the 7%. These are the friends who bring dinner, who say they can't imagine how hard life is for us when I'm pregnant, or who tell me, as one friend did, that she probably wouldn't have had 5 children if she vomited like I do. Be the friend who gets it.

How is morning sickness for you when you're pregnant? I'll celebrate with you, and not resent you, if you say it's a breeze, but I'll sympathize if you've got it rough too. If you've got rough morning sickness, what would you want your friends to know?

Wondering if you have HG? Check out this link.

Have a friend with HG? The HER Foundation has a great FAQ list.

Discovering Peanut Allergies: Living with Food Allergies Series

2013-04-26T07:00:00.000-05:00

I just read about yet another child who died from ingesting peanut butter, this time an 11year old in Utah. It's tragic, and my heart goes out to his parents right now.

Anaphlyaxis is real, y'all.

If you're like me, perhaps you're thinking it can't happen to you because nut allergies don't run in your family.

But food allergies have to start somewhere. We have no history of food allergies in our family, yet our son is allergic to peanuts and cashews. I also do my best to give my kids a healthy start in life. One of the best ways to prevent food allergies is by breastfeeding, and my babies are all exclusively breastfed until 6 months, when solids are introduced, and I continue nursing after their first birthday. Sometimes, you just don't see it coming.

Fortunately, while I never expected to deal with food allergies, God prepared me ahead of time by giving me a few friends whose children have peanut allergies, so when my second baby came along, I was far more cautious than I was with my first. Specifically, a friend shared her story with me about her son nearly dying at 16 months when he grabbed a bite of peanut butter off another child's high chair tray at Mother's Day Out. Again, please know that anaphylaxis is real.

Possible Peanut Allergy

My second baby chose the worst possible time to start crawling. Both of my kids were pretty sick, and while my two year old had her first ear infection, Andrew, my 9 month old, had bronchiolitis and atalectisis (collapsed lung), and was on breathing treatments. Our house was crazy messy from all the chaos, yet that's when he started crawling.

I was in the process of trying to get my floors in the spotless condition that all mommies want when their babies start crawling, but I wasn't quick enough. One morning, about 2 or 3 days after he started crawling, I picked up Andrew to change his diaper. He had been crawling around the nursery floor, which I thought was completely baby proofed, of course. But I noticed an orange stain on his chin and on the front of his footie pajamas. At the same time, I spotted hives all around his mouth. I recognized that orange as the same color as a Reese's Pieces peanut butter candy and I instantly felt panic and fear welling up inside.

Hives. Peanut butter. This is not a good combination.

I quickly changed his diaper and loaded up the kids into my car. We were all in pajamas, but I really didn't care. There's a hospital about 3 minutes away from my house, so I drove to the hospital and decided to hang out in the parking lot, just in case. If my baby went into anaphylaxis, I wanted to be at a hospital so that he could be treated quickly.

It killed me to not be able to see my infant in his rear facing car seat. I had no idea how he was doing, and his occasional coughs only frightened me more. But when I parked my car, I sat in the back seat next to him and saw my happy baby. Eventually I calmed down and started driving home.

But then I heard coughing again, so we drove back to the hospital. I pulled him out of the car seat, faced him away from me, and he began vomiting the tiny piece of candy to get it out of his system.

Our pediatrician pointed out that there are many reasons why infants vomit, and this could have been a reaction to the chocolate or dairy in the Reese's just as well as the peanut butter. In fact, Andrew was already showing signs of a dairy allergy. It was hard to rule out one item and say he was allergic to it. Still, I became cautious with peanuts.

This is Andrew at about the age that he first ingested peanut butter. In the above picture, his hives are from eating dairy (yogurt).

Definite Peanut Allergy

Andrew turned 1 the following February, and at his annual check-up, our pediatrician gave us the green light to introduce the few things that he had not yet eaten: milk, shell fish, egg whites, and nuts.

Two weeks later, I had another appointment as a follow-up on Andrew's ear infection, so I decided to follow the doctor's usual advice for introducing new foods. He always says to introduce a new food, especially a potential allergen, early in the week and early in the day, so that you can watch your child and bring them in to see him if a reaction occurs. But I added one caveat. Because I was so nervous about the peanut butter, I introduced it to him in the parking lot of the pediatrician's office. Honestly, I'm so grateful that God gave me the wisdom to introduce it there.

The morning of our appointment, I arrived at the pediatrician's office a little early. In the parking lot, I loaded the kids up in our double stroller and gave a small spoonful of peanut butter to Andrew. He didn't want it, but I gave him a small amount anyway. As we made our way across the parking lot and through the lobby of the large clinic, I noticed hives developing on his face. At the front desk, Andrew started crying, so I put him on my hip as I checked in with the receptionist. Meanwhile, he started vomiting on me.

The receptionist was oblivious and didn't care when I told her he was vomiting from an allergic reaction to peanut butter. I asked for a small trash can to catch the vomit, but she said no, and pointed to the huge trash cans with covers, which made them completely impossible for a baby to vomit into. So I just let him vomit on the floor, since she left me with no other option. In the waiting room, I gave Andrew a dose of Benadryl that I'd brought with me "just in case" something happened.

Fortunately, we were called back quickly and when I told the pediatrician's nurse what happened, she was concerned. Our doctor examined Andrew very closely, listening with his stethoscope for any indication of an anaphylactic response. But Andrew was fine, so we left his office with a prescription for an EpiPen auto injector and instructions to see a pediatric allergist as soon as possible. Our doctor said that peanuts are in so many different foods that it was important that we become properly educated on how to handle this food allergy.

On the way home, my baby started vomiting again. I couldn't see him, since he was still rear-facing in his car seat. I pulled over, yanked him out of the car seat so that he could finish vomiting, and kept watching him for any signs of breathing difficulties. At that point, I was done. Anxiety and fear welled up and I could not function as a responsible adult anymore. I'm usually a pretty calm person in difficult situations, but the possibility of my child having anaphylaxis in the back seat of my car while I drove, completely unable to see him or respond to him, sent me over the edge. I called my husband from work and asked him to pick me up at the Walmart parking lot where I'd pulled over. I was not fit to drive my kids home.

Confirmation from the Allergist

That was only the beginning of our journey with peanut allergies. Well-meaning friends and family members advised waiting to see what the allergist said instead of "jumping to conclusions" that our toddler was allergic to peanuts. But our pediatrician had already cleared up any doubt on that issue for me, and we began learning how to use his EpiPen, getting educated on avoiding allergens from friends, and doing a thorough clean out of our pantry.

A month later, when we were finally able to see the pediatric allergist, she confirmed his peanut allergy with a blood test, though we all knew there was no doubt that this was an allergic reaction. The test showed a mild dairy allergy and a cashew allergy as well. Eggs showed up as faintly positive, but since he had no reactions while eating eggs, we knew this was a false positive.

Our allergist taught me how to avoid peanuts, which our friends had already explained, but it was good to hear it from a doctor. We follow her advice precisely, so when people think we're being overly cautious, we just let them know we're only following doctor's orders. I'll share "the rules" with you in a later post, but there's one thing that she said that we have to remember every single day.

Andrew only had hives and vomiting, but peanut allergies can become anaphylactic at any point in time.

It could be at his 3rd exposure to peanuts or it could be at his 13th or 30th. We have no way of knowing. Even the numbers on his allergy test cannot tell us that.

Knowing that a simple bite of a cookie could send my child into anaphylaxis--possibly death, if medication is not administered promptly--is a terrifying thought. I don't dwell on it. I can't. But we make sure that we are properly educated in this area, that we have created a safe place for Andrew at home, and that we minimize risk when we leave the house.

We will not, cannot, live in a bubble, and it's not my desire to do so. But in the same way that I would never let my toddler run out into the street, I would also never let my toddler eat a cookie without knowing its ingredients. Welcome to the life of a food allergy family.

How do you usually introduce a new food to your baby? I must admit, I wasn't this cautious with my first child, but I'm so glad I was with my second. Are you familiar with the idea of anaphylaxis? Would you know how to respond if a child went into anaphylactic shock?

Child Abuse Prevention Month: A Teacher's Perspective

2013-04-25T07:00:00.000-05:00

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month. My friend, Paula, at Beauty Through Imperfection, has put together some thoughtful posts on the issue, from a personal perspective. I have had very little interaction with this issue, praise God, but I wanted to share my experience with it as a teacher. I'm doing my best to tell this story in a way that provides continued anonymity for my student, so please forgive me if my details are fuzzy. It's deliberate.

As a 20-something year old girl teaching 9th grade English teacher in the public school system, I always heard the same question at the beginning of the school year.

Student: Do you have any kids?

Me: Yep. About 140 of them. You all are my kids.

This was never more true than when I discovered one of my kids was in trouble.

I taught my English classes, using the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song to teach rhyme scheme to my students and getting excited when they actually got the beauty of Shakespeare. I loved it.

And one day, I found myself sitting behind my desk while a student partially raised their shirt to show me red marks and bruises on their abdomen. Big ones.

And then I heard the story of what the parent did.

And then the words

"But you can't tell anyone. Not anyone."

When the 14 year old child walked out of my classroom that day, I felt like my heart walked out too. I began worrying about that child in ways I never thought I could worry, in ways that only parents worry. And I picked up the phone.

After a couple of phone calls, I learned that I had a duty to report this, of course. I figured as much.

Texas law says that all adults who suspect abuse of a child or an elderly person must report their suspicions, but teachers have a special responsibility. Teachers, doctors, nurses, and child care workers have exactly 48 hours to report their findings.

No one wants to violate the trust of a child, but my responsibility to protect that child was of greater importance than my relationship with them. I would have to do exactly what my student did not want me to do, violating their trust and perhaps making this teenager hate me, as teenagers are prone to do when someone violates their trust.

I called my husband to tell him I would be late coming home from work, really late, later than usual. And then I began my report.

It wasn't fun and emotionally, it wasn't easy, but I did it. The state of Texas has a simple online program for making these reports, and my name would be kept confidential. Unfortunately, filing a report is not where the process ended for my student or for me.

I love my kids. Love them. Still do.

So the worrying continued. At night, I wondered where my student was sleeping. Was my student back at home or still staying with friends? Where would they end up if they were taken away from their parents for a while?

And on days when the child was absent from school, then my fears were magnified.

I told the student about my report, and that legally, I had no other option. They seemed to understand, though they didn't like it.

In a lot of ways, this student's life became more complex and more difficult because I reported the issue. They could not live at home for a time. There was a lot of junk and hassle that came from it. I doubt the student appreciated me for it. I never knew the details of what came out of the situation. It wasn't my job to know.

Eventually, the school year ended and I don't think I saw that student again while they were in high school.

Until one day a few years ago. My husband waited in the car while I walked into a local store, pregnant with one of my own babies when I ran into one of my kids.

The student recognized me and called out my name from far off, so excited to see me. We hugged.

"Thank you for everything."

Thank you for reporting it? Thank you for being a listening ear when I needed it? Or thank you for making me love Shakespeare? I don't know what the student thanked me for. It really didn't matter.

I walked out to the car and told my husband

"That is why I spent four years of my life as a teacher."

It wasn't just about getting kids excited about literature or sharing my love for the semicolon with my nerdy, giddy excitement. It was about loving my kids.

I never thought I would have to worry about child abuse with a 14 year old. As responsible adults, we need to keep an eye out for this with all children that we're around.

Have you ever had to report child abuse? Would you even know how or were you clueless as I was?

8 Ways to Keep and Break the Babywise Rules: Confessions of a Former Babywise Loving Mom

2013-04-18T07:30:00.000-05:00

To this day, I am still known as a Babywise Mom through this blog. Every day, moms are pinning my previous Babywise posts from two babies ago. Google searches of Babywise bring moms to this site. And I still get scheduling questions from moms on a regular basis.

I sort of cringe, sort of don't when I see these things. As I've said before, I don't hate Babywise. Not by a long shot. But I've come to dislike hard and fast rules in general when it comes to the aspects of parenting that lack morals. Sleep training, introducing solids, and babywearing, for example, are amoral subjects. While scripture speaks on a lot of things regarding parenting, it does not speak on these issues specifically, and as Christians, we can make decisions using the wisdom that God has given us. And part of that wisdom is knowing that some aspects of a book or method of parenting will work for you while others will not.

And more than that, I find that if a mom adheres to strictly to one set of rules, she can become dogmatic at the expense of her children, heap guilt upon herself when she just doesn't measure up, and be completely grace-less towards other moms who choose different methods. Mommy wars are ugly, my friends.

So if you are a Babywise type of mom, take heart. I get you.

Here is my list of what I still use and apply regularly from my reading of Babywise, but you'll see that I modify much of it. When I do get emails and facebook messages from readers about infant sleep, this is the advice that I give them:

Put your baby down into their crib awake, when possible, Key words are when possible. In those early days, your baby will sleep all the time. As a first time mom, this concerned me. It shouldn't! Now I try to enjoy those moments and snuggle with them in my arms when I can. They're only little once.
After they wake up, feed them and let them have play time (Eat, Awake, Sleep). I find this isn't completely realistic for me with 3 kids. Sometimes I have to nurse the baby and put him to sleep simply because that's what works for our routine on that particular day.
Keep an eye out for the overstimulated baby: Babywise warns of this and it's completely true. Look for the eye rubbing and the early signs that they might be tired. If a young infant has been awake for more than a couple of hours, you can bet that he's probably tired. During their infancies, both of my boys would get extremely fussy if I missed their sleep cues. Sometimes I thought it was gassiness, but it was actually overstimulation. They look very similar!
A loose schedule can give you sanity, add structure to your day, and give you freedom to leave the house. My babies nurse roughly every three hours. It takes them a few months to get to that point, but eventually, it happens. Consequently, I don't feel like an infant ties me down too much. As long as I nurse them before we leave the house, I find it easy to go shopping and run errands with a little one, and then I'm complimented on how happy my baby is. Even if you don't follow the EASY schedule (I don't anymore), keeping naptime around the same time every day does help your baby nap and sleep better. A lot of moms do naps at 9 and 1 or 10 & 2. This advice was given to me early on and it was super helpful as my kids got older.
Give your baby plenty of free playtime on the floor. This sets the tone for playtime in the future as a toddler and as your children get older. They won't require mommy to entertain them all the time, though they definitely love it when I get down on the floor and play with them. I enter into their world all the time, playing dolls and dancing silly dances. I also look for opportunities to bring them into my world, and we cook together, clean together, and grocery shop together. So we still have plenty of bonding time, but all of my children are excellent at entertaining themselves without a TV or a parent to facilitate playtime.
Make your marriage a priority. Our days seem to revolve around our children, but the truth of the matter is that our marriage should and does come first. Babywise makes it sound as if Attachment Parenting will make your marriage completely unravel and I disagree with this assumption, but you do have to be careful. Having a schedule or a loose routine can make life at home easier. I've personally known of moms and dads resenting each other and the lack of sleep that can occur with a family bed. This is one of about 10 reasons why we choose not to co-sleep. We want to keep our marriage intimacy.
Cry It Out (CIO) might have to happen. For me, it's my last resort. Babywise can easily make you feel like your baby should be sleeping through the night by 12 weeks, so after that point, you might be tempted to let the baby CIO. I'm just not comfortable doing CIO at that age. The earliest I've tried it is 6 months. I know, I'm a wuss. But I will only let my baby CIO if I know that he's not hungry, he's not teething, and he doesn't have an ear infection. Otherwise, I'll err on the side of caution and nurse the baby, even if it means I'm only "comfort nursing." That's probably one big area where I tend to side with the attachment parenting folks. I think that babies really can't be nursed to frequently.
Don't start habits you're not willing to break. Within reason! One night, our 3 week old fell asleep in my husbands arms. He was enjoying these early moments of fatherhood and continued letting her sleep. I, very pointedly, said to him "Is this a habit you're willing to break in 6 months?" His response: "Absolutely." His point was that moments like these are rare. Enjoy them, and don't let the rule books steal your joy.

Wordless Wednesday

2013-04-17T07:30:00.000-05:00

This is how my little guy sleeps most of the time. I love his little man-pose.

My Second 5K

2013-04-16T01:00:00.000-05:00

On Saturday, we loaded up the kids in the jogging strollers and ran in our town's American Heart Association Heart Walk & 5K Run. Here are my thoughts on our latest run.

Stretch, Gabby, stretch! I totally regret not stretching afterwards! For the past two days, everything has hurt, including muscles I didn't know I had. I know part of it is from running up and down hills, but neglecting to stretch makes it all worse.

Before the race, I was really worried that I wouldn't be able to do it. During my first 5K, my twin sister ran with me and encouraged me the entire way. I didn't know if I could do it without someone pushing me along.

I was wrong. This was easier.

Physically, this was a tougher course because of the hills, but mentally, it was far easier. I knew that I'd done it before so I could do it again.

I created a fun playlist full of my favorite upbeat Christian songs and let my ipod be my motivator.

Right after the race started, we began running uphill, so five minutes into it, I was already huffing and puffing. Could I do it? Was I already so spent and drained of energy that I would have nothing left for the third mile?

Instead of worrying about the whole race, I just focused on the next part of the run, looking only at what was immediately ahead.

Everyone passed me up in those first few minutes, but I didn't let this discourage me. As I ran, I told my daughter that we were going to win the race. For me, winning is finishing the 5K without walking. That's all. I also wanted to beat my awful time from my first race, 45 minutes. But my main goal was to finish and win.

I thought I would be the last one crossing the finish line because I couldn't see anyone behind me. Later, as the route looped around itself, I could walkers. I thought all of the walkers were taking a 1 mile route, but evidently some opted for 3.1. So while there were a couple of girls in front of me, who were running at the same pace as me, there was no one behind me except walkers, and they were far behind me.

I noticed that I seemed to be on pace for about 13 minutes a mile, a vast improvement from the 15 minutes per mile that I ran in my first 5K.

Somewhere around the 2 mile point, about 26 minutes into my run, my daughter's balloon popped and tears were shed. She cried and pouted for several minutes, but eventually got over it. Maybe I'm heartless, but I didn't stop to comfort her. I just talked her through it and focused on finishing the run.

After about 35 minutes, I turned the last corner and headed into the home stretch. But it was all uphill. Again, I just focused on the next steps in front of me.

As soon as I started running and pushing the stroller up the steep hill, I felt it.

The it that runners talk about.

Runner's high.

I don't know how to describe it except that I felt a prickly sensation on my scalp and I was in another zone. The hill was nothing. I don't remember any physical strain in running it or in pushing my 4 year old up the hill in a stroller. But I remember looking up and seeing the sun in the sky, feeling a cool breeze, and watching the light glistening on the lake below as I ran up that bridge.

And in my ipod, I heard this:

And I sang. No one was around anyway, so I sang. And I worshiped. And it was amazing.

At the top of the hill, I could see the very last portion of the race where my husband and our boys were waiting. I ran through the finish line, which wasn't much to speak of, and congratulated myself on beating my old time. 42 minutes. Still a terrible 5K time, but an improvement for me. And my daughter says I won. She's right. Every time I run, I win. It's good for my heart, it's good for my body, and it's good for my family.

In fact, the night before my second 5K, I signed up for a third. I'm ready to win again.

Label it!

2013-04-10T11:48:00.001-05:00

Somewhere along my journey into adulthood, I decided to embrace my inner nerd. This is who I am, so there's no point in fighting it. Consequently, I get teased mercilessly for owning and using things like a label maker.

My brother says that you only have a label addiction problem if the place your label maker is stored has a label on it.

Uh oh.

I guess that means I have a problem.

Tackling the laundry room

Recently, I've been working at decluttering, with my biggest goals being to declutter the laundry room and master bedroom. While I was working on the laundry room, I realized one reason why the previous organization didn't function well.

I didn't label.

I had a basket for pet supplies and a basket for gardening, but they weren't labeled as such. Consequently, nothing was where it belonged. When I planted phlox in my front flower bed recently, I could not find a single pair of matching gardening gloves. Not one.

I found the gloves while cleaning. The problem was that some gloves were in with the pet supplies, so matching gloves were impossible. Now I've got about 5 pair of matching work and gardening gloves for my husband and I.

It's hard enough to keep things clean when you know where everything belongs, but if you don't know? You can forget about it! Organization cannot happen where there's not a home for your belongings, and you'll make things a lot easier on yourself and others in your family if you label these homes.

I don't care if you have a label maker or not. Get old school with it. Break out the masking tape and Sharpie, whatever gets the job done. Label, label, label. I still use wide masking tape and a Sharpie when storing things in the attic because it's much easier to read a huge label than a small one.

If you want a label maker, by all means, get one. I asked for one for my 29th birthday and my sister was happy to oblige. I don't think it matters what brand you use, though I would keep the cost of replacement cartridges in mind when you buy one. The cost of replacements for my Dymo machine is the same as buying a completely new label maker (with cartridge) from one of the cheaper brands. I doubt it makes a difference. If it prints labels, that's all that matters.

And my laundry room? It's coming along nicely, and now we at least know where to put things. Hopefully it'll function better for me this time around. I'll be sure to post before and after pictures.

Do you use a label maker? Where have you found labeling to be the most helpful?

Running My First 5K: Six Tips for Success

2013-04-09T01:01:00.001-05:00

Two weeks ago, I ran my first 5K.

When my husband and I started the Couch to 5K program, one of the first things we did was sign up for a 5K race. We knew that making this investment would motivate us to run when we didn't feel like it and make us willing to completely rearrange our family's schedule so that we could train and become runners together. I think it was one of the smartest things we did to ensure success, aside from purchasing good running shoes.

1. Make it Fun!

We picked a unique and fun race to be our first. The Firefly Run is a night race, completely with neon accessories, fun music, and funky lights in the trees.

Izzy and I, having fun before the race.

There were tons of walkers, so it was really motivating to pass people up the entire time I was running. I felt so awesome.

We had the kids with us in jogging strollers, so while my husband had our little boys in the double jogger, I was pushing our 4 year old. About 2 minutes after the race started, she yelled "Oh no, Mommy! You only have ten minutes left! You better hurry!!" Laughing inwardly, I said "OK, I'll go as fast as I can!" She did this during the whole race, but fortunately, she has no concept of time, so right before we crossed the finish line, she yelled "You only have 5 minutes left!" Isabelle gave me the comic relief that I needed.

2. Run for a Cause

The Firefly in DFW benefits Children's Medical Center in Dallas, a hospital that is near and dear to my heart, since we lived there for 2 weeks. The EMTs and surgeons saved our son's life when he was a newborn, and everyone on staff there was incredibly kind and professional. They made an impossibly difficult circumstance much more bearable. We recruited a team, had t-shirts made, and even raised a small amount of money to benefit Children's. The cause was an important one and we made sure we completed our training program prior to this race.

Team Andrew, running for Congenital Lobar Emphysema. Andrew, our CLE kid is the one sitting on his daddy's shoulders, perfectly healthy. Children's Medical Center is fabulous!

3. Set a Small Goal

My goal, my only goal, was to run the entire thing. Anyone can walk three miles, but not everyone can run. I'm happy to say that I met my goal.

When we signed up, my husband and I were going to run together. About a month before the race, it became pretty obvious that he could run significantly faster than me, and I knew it wasn't fair to make him hang back with me during the race. He never came out and said it, but I knew he wanted to set a good time for himself, and I would only slow him down. His goal was to break 30 minutes for his first 5K, and he also reached his goal. He completed the race in 29 minutes and some change.

4. Counter negative thoughts with positive

My twin sister is the real runner, and since she has run 2 marathons, the Firefly was just a fun run. She ran next to me the entire time and was just what I needed. She's my twin, my best friend, my wombie, so I can speak my thoughts aloud to her.

During the entire race, as negative words came out of my mouth, she countered them with positive:

1 mile into it: "I don't think I can do this!" Yes you can! You've run longer than this before!

"I haven't run in a week!" That means you've got fresh legs!

2 miles into it: "Oh no! We're running up a hill!" That's nothing! You run bigger hills in your neighborhood all the time!

"I have to walk. I can't do this!" Gabby, there's the parking garage! Remember passing it up on the way in? We don't have far to go!

"I don't have anything left!" Yes you do. You've got this!

Me with my twin sister Dominique, the real runner of our family.

5. Realize that you can run more than you've ever run before.

One of my only worries was that prior to our 5K, the longest distance I'd run completed was about 2.5 miles. I had only run for 30 minutes straight. How in the world was I going to run a 5K?

I can. I did. Evidently if you can run 30 minutes straight without walking, you can run 45 minutes straight without walking. You can do a lot during a race that you haven't done in training.

6. Don't Underestimate the power of endorphins to pull you through.

Just when I was feeling completely spent, we started to turn into the last leg of the race. Standing there at the corner was a group of volunteers cheering us on, yelling for us. Inside, I felt a complete hormonal rush and knew I could keep running. As I saw the finish line looming, a bright neon arch, I suddenly heard my husband's voice from somewhere in the dark night, shouting "Go Gabby!!!!"

And I ran fast.

I gave it all I had in that last stretch, passing up runner after runner with my jogging stroller.

After the race! Tired but happy!

My Awful, Wonderful Time

I said I had no time goals, but I would've loved to have a decent time. Instead, I finished in 45 minutes.

45 minutes.

To run 3.1 miles.

That's about 15 minutes per mile.

It's awful, a terrible time, in fact.

And it's wonderful too.

Before this race, I had never run 45 minutes without stopping. Yet suddenly I did. I know what I can do now. In fact, I tease my husband, the same guy who finished in 29 minutes, that I did something he can't do. I can run for a longer amount of time than he can. Maybe he can run 45 minutes, but I don't know that, and neither does he, because he's never done it before. But I have.

Have You Seen This Thomas?

2013-04-05T17:07:00.002-05:00

My 4 year old lost her best friend a couple of weeks ago. One night, she was snuggled up with her favorite bedtime buddy, Thomas the Tank Engine, at a hotel in Dallas, TX, and the next day, we arrived home to find that Thomas was missing. We've called the hotel twice. The first time proved fruitless, but we couldn't help calling again, and now I'm awaiting a phone call from the manager, who was asking housekeeping to do a thorough check for us.

Isabelle has been OK with her missing Thomas so far, because we keep saying "Don't worry, we'll find him." But now that so much time has passed and we can't find him, she's starting to get upset. At night, she cries and cries for her Thomas.

She worries about him. She says he's alone somewhere, all by himself. He's lost!

But of course, she's mainly just sad for herself because she misses him. We're scouring the internet to find another one just like him, but that's proving more difficult than you'd think. She's OK with getting a replacement and dreams of going to "The Thomas Store" to find another one. ?? I only wish it were that simple.

If you happen to have a Thomas like this one that your child isn't playing with (and I know you in person) or you know where I can find another one, please let me know.

Unfortunately, I didn't buy this one, so I don't even know what company makes him. Some dear friends moved away two years ago and gave this Thomas to us, along with some other toys, so he was already several years old when she got him. He's been her best bud ever since.

Fortunately, we have tons of pictures of Thomas. Her Leap Pad photo album looks like a shrine to Thomas, and she has a gazillion pictures of him in various poses and in different settings.

Defining Features

Sweet Face

My daughter saw this picture and said "There's my Thomas with his sweet happy face!"

Size & Function

This isn't your typical little wooden Thomas train. I've got about 8 of those here at home. This is a larger one, about 7 inches long and a few inches wide. When you pull him backwards, he rolls forward. He's not the same as this pull back racer, because their stated dimensions show that he's not big enough to be Isabelle's Thomas.

Color

You'll notice that her Thomas had grey on the top of his bumper/buffer, whatever that thing is. (grey, not gray--after all, he is British).

Oddities

We have no idea what that tiny plug thing is on his back side, but it's always been there. Perhaps he connected to something?

Other Views

That's an important whistle. When Isabelle was 2, we would have conversations that went a little something like this:

Train whistle sound. Wooo wooooooooo
Isabelle: Mommy, say "whose that sound?"
Me: What's that sound?
Isabelle, in a tiny Thomas voice: It's me, mommy! Inevitably, he would be hiding, poking out from underneath the sofa or my bedskirt.

Update: As I was about to hit "publish" on this post, the hotel manager called to let us know that Thomas has been found!

Welcome to MamaGab: Ultimate Blog Party 2013!

2013-04-05T00:43:00.002-05:00

I'm participating in the Ultimate Blog Party for the first time this year, so here's a little bit about me for any new readers and anyone stopping by from the blog party.

My name Gabrielle, though everyone calls me Gabby. I used to teach high school English, but now I'm a mommy to 3 kids ages 4 and under. I'm passionate about motherhood, walking with God, good literature, and strong coffee.

Our Family

My husband and I have been married for over 10 years, and we're the best of friends, though I think perhaps I'm a poor wife for a theologically-minded husband. I've filled my head with so much motherhood data that there's little room for much else, aside from my daily time with the Lord. And I have a theory that with every baby I lose IQ points. Or perhaps it's the sleepless nights.

In a span of 3 1/2 years, we had 3 children. Our oldest is now 4, a precocious sweetheart with a flair for the dramatic. We plan on homeschooling, so I get to enjoy Izzy's creativity all day long. I'm very straight-laced and she's my out-of-the-box child, so I'm constantly bewildered at her latest antics. Our second child is nearly two, Andrew. He's my lovey-dovey snuggling little boy, but he's also all boy and loves cars and sports. We knew we wanted more children, but God provided another one a little sooner than we'd expected. When Andrew was about 10 months, this sleep-deprived mama discovered she had another bun in the oven. Alexandre has been a complete joy, the happiest baby imaginable. Everyone should try to plan a surprise baby. I highly recommend it.

My mother gave birth to 7 children, so growing up in a big family has given me a perspective about homemaking and motherhood that's pretty unique. Meal planning, grocery shopping, and caring for babies is second-nature to me because I can't remember a time when I didn't know how to do these things.

Mothers and Friends

I've been involved with MOPS, Mothers Of Pre-Schoolers, for 5 years now, and I love encouraging other moms in their walk with God. I learn so much from being around other moms, though to tell the truth, I especially treasure my friendships with moms who are at least a few steps ahead of me. I need them. I need their perspective, their wisdom, and their laid-back approach when I'm busy making mountains out of molehills.

The Tough Stuff

In the past couple of years, we've had some difficult family trials, and we nearly lost our newborn son, who was flown via jet to a children's hospital for emergency lung surgery, with very little time to spare. It was a watershed moment in our marriage and in our life, when we had to choose to trust the Lord, even if we lost our baby. In the aftermath of that, I've chosen to be honest on my blog about my trials, my struggles with fear and anxiety. I don't want you thinking I've got it all together. I don't. If you want perfect, find another blog to read.

Growth and Change

I don't want to stay put. I want to grow as a mom, as a wife, as a friend, and as a follower of Christ. Sometimes you'll find me saying "I was wrong!" on this blog. The rules I followed when I first became a mom, trying to do everything by the book, simply don't apply anymore now that I'm on baby #3.

I'm also working on me. I'm trying to be a runner. Notice I said trying. I'd still rather settle in with Jane Austen and a cup of coffee, but discipline is good for the soul, and this body needs exercise, so I recently ran my first 5k. My second race is just around the corner.

I'm also still trying to figure out how to balance the cooking, the cleaning, the schooling, and the exercising, all with these three young kids that I shouldn't view as interruptions to my day. They are my day. Cultivating their little hearts and leading them to the Lord should be my focus. The rest is just gravy. I know that in my heart, but making it work out practically is another thing entirely. I think I'm teaching them, but God is using them to teach me, to sanctify me. It's a journey, and it's one I'd love you to join.

My Facebook page is a great way for us to stay in touch, and I love hearing advice and suggestions from friends like you about all areas of motherhood. I'm also on Pinterest, which is easy for me to check out while I'm nursing my baby. Twitter is new to me, but I'm figuring it out. Sit and stay a while. I look forward to getting to know you.

What I've learned about Babies, Schedules, and Sleep: Confessions of a Former Babywise Loving Mom

2013-04-03T07:00:00.000-05:00

I first started reconsidering Babywise when I got home from the hospital with my baby boy for the second time. The first time, he was a healthy newborn baby boy with a hearty appetite for nursing. The second time, 8 weeks later, he was recovering from life-saving surgery. He was, once again, nursing around the clock, but this time, he was trying to to regain the weight he'd lost after surgery.

My baby, Andrew, went through a stage where he only wanted to sleep while I was holding him. I was so concerned about establishing a bad habit, as Babywise constantly warned of doing. At the same time, I couldn't put him down because of the trauma we'd just endured. And something in me said maybe he needs a mother's touch. So I held him, ignoring the information I'd learned in Babywise.

My pastor's wife visted with a hot meal, and I guiltily explained to her that Andrew would only sleep if held. As a mom of seven, she agreed that he needed his mommy to hold him, after all that we'd endured. But she also said something that revolutionized my thinking about infant sleep.

They do it on their own.

Babies will schedule themselves, with maybe a tiny bit of help from mom.

I've tried applying that to my third baby, and you know what? It works.

Instead of worrying about a schedule, I've always focused on full feedings, filling up his little tummy, and somewhere around 4-8 weeks, he started eating every three hours. And he started napping regularly. Now, at nearly 8 months, I don't worry about the exact time of his morning nap, nor do I concern myself with the exact time of his afternoon nap. My goal is to get certain tasks completed around the house prior to naptime, and then all the kids take naps at once. Some days, that's at 1:00, but other days, it's closer to 2:00 before it all happens, and that's really OK.

I do implement a few of the Babywise tips and tricks, in my own modified way, to help my babies get used to sleeping on their own. I'll share those with you in my next post in this series.

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month

2013-04-01T08:00:00.000-05:00

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month, and my sweet blogging friend, Paula, has put together several posts on the issue on her blog, Beauty Through Imperfection. I will also be sharing a little bit about it from my very limited point of view as a former teacher.

She is sharing her first post today. I had the opportunity to read this piece a while back and I can tell you that it's heartfelt, real, and honest. Every mother should read it. You can read it by clicking here.

Please join us in being an advocate, being aware, and protecting the little ones around us.

An Easter Surprise

2013-03-27T07:00:00.000-05:00

Here's a clever way to bless someone you know. We had a fun little Easter surprise yesterday, a true blessing from some friends of ours. We were eating lunch when I received a bit of a warning text message that I actually didn't see until much later. My friend was in our front yard and we were not to come outside, under any circumstances.

Then I got another text, which gave instructions:

"A special visitor has come to your house to share the good news of Easter. Jesus is alive and the tomb is empty. There are 12 eggs in your yard. The 13th egg is the most special. It is in the mail box, to be opened after you find the eggs."

We put shoes on and went outside to find our surprise.

I found one!

Big sister thinks she's getting all the eggs, but now that I know how this works, I'm going to make sure I get my fair share!

Skittles! My favorite candy and peanut free too!

We know how to share...sometimes.

Happy as always.

The Golden Egg

Isabelle shouted: "It's empty! The tomb is empty! Jesus is alive! Jesus is alive!"

My kids jumped up and down on the front porch, shouting out the good news. As we cleaned up our eggs and candy treats, Andrew, my two year old picked up the egg and began shouting too: "tee!! lie!!" (empty! Alive!").

Thanks, sweet friend, for blessing us with this Easter surprise.