February 2nd not only marks Groundhog’s day, it is also my mother’s birthday. She turned 70 this month. I wrote her a letter and sent off the card at the end of January – no writing on the actual day. I told her Rachael has been accepted to AAEC. We have a very excited daughter, who is waiting on pins and needles for the actual confirmation letter. Then on February 14th, Valentine’s Day, Shawn and I had our traditional dinner. We send the girls to their rooms early and have a quiet dinner for two. This year Shawn decided to go Greek. I think even he is feeling winter doldrums or his approaching midlife birthday, because he bought a lot of prepared foods he didn’t have to cook.

As we were enjoying our souvlaki, olives, artichokes, cheese and wine, Shawn asked me what happened to his poetry. A few years ago he gave me a blank journal and added some borrowed poetry to it. Throughout the year, I added original pieces of poetry and gave it back to him the next Valentine’s Day. This year the journal was in his possession. I asked him where my poetry was? And he pulled up his haiku app and composed a few haiku for me. “There’s an app for that” really isn’t romantic. How hard is it to count syllables? Hard – since I found out Shawn thought “Shawn” was two syllables.

February slips away. Three days after this blog posts, Shawn will celebrate his 40th birthday. For the past few years, he has been growing his hair. He keeps telling me it will fall out on its own soon enough and he wants to remember what it was like to have hair. Back over winter break, the girls and I went for haircuts. Now the only man in the house has longer hair than all the women. Years ago Shawn grew his hair long ewww… but one day he came to my house with a nice new haircut. I keep waiting for this day a second time. I really thought he would go before he had to get his new license photo, but no. If he is going to be bald, his license will make people do a double take. All is not lost though, I came up with a great dig for his birthday.

Forty is a fickle friend
Only trying to pretend
Ripe with hair
Turning bare
Youth has reached its bitter end

Veronica Hosking
http://hosking.gather.com

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Kim Jennings

It will not be easy – nothing worthwhile ever is. Who said that? Who knows. Just know that you will be tested. You may even want to walk away. Know that it’s just a test of your resolve. The passion and belief in yourself will come out on top if you let it.

When you really commit to something, however big, however small, that’s the time the tests appear. You used to think they were coincidences. Now that you’re aware, awake to your goal and committed to it, the challenges are even more clear.

This is how it’s been for me.

When you really, really, REALLY want something, doesn’t it seem at first that the universe may be conspiring against you? That obstacle after obstacle appears?

What if, what if… the obstacles are the same as they were before, but you’re more aware of them…?

What if, what if… the obstacles are the same as before, but your fear is at a fever pitch because the stakes are higher as you take the bravest steps you’ve ever taken?

What if, what if… it’s a test, and it’s only a test of your resolve?

I’m thinking through my own current struggles. Having recently converted my work schedule to part-time, and truly placing a priority on how I spend my new-found “free time” (i.e., how to do more music and how to spend more time with family), the honeymoon is over, folks. Now what?

The daily grind is exactly that – no matter what decision, what goal, what passion to pursue. So if you have to work that hard, you better be doing what you love, right? And there may always be “obstacles”… but think about it – are you really going to throw in the towel over one argument, one bad meeting, one bad gig, or one bad day?

Stop in your tracks – right now – take a deep breath – imagine how it could be, how it should be – and write down what your next step is to make it happen. Be honest with yourself. And if your change involves others, they may not get it at first (if ever). And that’s yet one more test of your resolve.

It won’t be easy. You may lose people along the way (it’s almost guaranteed that you will). You may even feel like you’re losing yourself.

Go back to what you’ve written. Go back to the underlying belief. Remind yourself why you are here. Your passion is why you’re here, isn’t it?

Bio: Sitting still has never been easy for acoustic/indie/folk singer-songwriter Kim Jennings. A singer, piano and guitar player for years, the songwriting bug only bit her in 2007. Not three years later, Kim released her debut CD “My Own True North,” co-founded the indie record label “Birch Beer Records” with fellow singer-songwriter Dan Cloutier, and launched the We Support Local Music blog along with the “I Support Local Music in Massachusetts” Facebook page.

Named to Metronome Magazine’s Top 20 Hit List for 2010, and voted Best Female Vocalist in the 2010 Worcester Music Awards, Jennings keeps a busy schedule, performing as often as she can and running her record label. Not bad, considering that in her “free time” she’s also a part-time working soccer mom.

Keep up with Kim Jennings and her musical projects at
www.kimjenningsmusic.com, www.birchbeerrecords.com, and www.we-support-local-music.com.

The Museum Of Motherhood is the first and only facility of its kind, celebrating the “her”story of mothers around the world. We need your help — please make your tax-deductible contribution today!Visit the Museum of Motherhood, NOW OPEN in NYC – Tues.-Sun., 10:45-6:30.

1. See the glass half full not half empty – change your perspective/view and the world changes with you.
2. Wake up each day with a “Gratitude check” – take the first few minutes of each day to appreciate all the good in your life. Each day remember you woke up, you could see the sun shinning, you have a roof over your head, food to eat, water to drink, air to breathe, friends to talk to and much more. There is always something to be grateful for, it’s just reminding yourself of it.
3. Flow – each day try to do an activity that you love that life just flows for that time. It could be ten minutes or a few hours but just make sure to add flow into your daily life.
4. Make sure your basic needs are met – did you drink 8-10 glasses of water each day ( not tea, coffee or soda), did you get at least 7-8 hours of sleep, did you eat healthy, exercise, and so on? Our cognitive abilities and state of mind depends on our basic needs being met. Make your health a priority.
5. Did you show love today – did you give a hug, a kiss, hold someone’s hand, pat then on the shoulder? If not, then go give a hug ASAP!
6. Thank you – always say thank you to anyone and everyone who deserves it. Also, remember to say “sorry” if it’s needed as well. Keep open lines of communication.
7. Be an active listener – no interruptions, be patient and let the person speak; really listen and pause before answering, summarize what they said and ask questions if needed.
8. Be an empathic listener – imagine how the other person is feeling. Put yourself in their shoes.
9. Have a Career not a job – do what you love.
10. Smile, laugh – all are contagious – spread the joy.
11. Step outside your comfort zone today – take a small risk each and everyday.
12. Add variety to your day even small things like taking a new route to work, trying a new food or drink will bring bursts of happiness.
13. Learn – each and everyday, did you learn something new? This can be informal learning through discussions, movies, newspapers, current events, etc.
14. Stay in touch with your friends and family.
15. Visualize your dreams each and every day. If you can’t see it, you will have trouble reaching it.
16. Take a vacation – refuel and refresh, you will be more productive and creative in both your personal and professional life.
17. Be a great role model – your kids will follow in your shoes.
18. Pay it forward – random acts of kindness each and every day.
19. Perseverance – never give up.
20. Be self-aware – know yourself.
21. Less TV, cell phones, Internet, video games, social media, and more face to face time with loved ones. Reconnect with loved ones in person.
22. Forgiveness – forgive for you so you can move forward with your life. Forgive for you not anyone else!
23. The past has some great teachable moments but don’t live in the past.
24. Live in the moment.
25. Plan for the future.
26. Work on what you CAN control in your life. If you can’t control it, let it go.
27. Always ask for help if you need it.

The Museum Of Motherhood is the first and only facility of its kind, celebrating the “her”story of mothers around the world. We need your help — please make your tax-deductible contribution today!Visit the Museum of Motherhood, NOW OPEN in NYC – Tues.-Sun., 10:45-6:30.

I was crying and rocking, myself and the baby, and my mother told me hesitantly that she wished I could get OK about where I was at this juncture because “it gets harder,” she said. It’s a statement that probably reads harshly; it feels a little that way as I type it, but don’t remember being put off by it then. And I certainly now understand the motivation to say it.

I was talking with my daughter recently, who is now not six but twenty, about her own junctures, and found myself invoking my mother’s acknowledgement that life is actually very complicated and, in many ways, becomes increasingly so as we move through it. Now, as it turns out, life also provides innumerable opportunities to grow and get stronger and become more deeply rooted so that one isn’t buffeted about so by its forces. But those are just opportunities, not guarantees. And the movement of and through life does offer different vantage points that provide wider-scope and longer-range vision. The terrain gets more complex but one can see it with greater clarity. And in some ways, this helps one to navigate it more adeptly. But adult life is tough. And taxing. And many parts of it are totally unrewarding. And “unfair.” These facts are troubling for any of us to cope with, but particularly so for those who moved through their youth with a sense that things would go a whole other way.

An article in Huffington Post ten days ago, and an article at NPR.org ten days before that highlight the difficulty that adolescents and young adults are having in coping with the fact that their lives will be hard, competitive, and “unfair;” and they seem rather incapacitated by this difficulty.

The NPR piece is about “helicopter parents” who “hover in the workplace,” sending out resumes for them, arguing with employers for better pay or benefits for their children, and, if you can believe it, coming with the kid to the interview (!). These young adults learn that there is much more justice in who gets employed where than there actually is, and that if they (or their parents) follow particular formulas then the outcomes they seek will materialize. They learn that mediocrity is just the same as excellence.

Although such reasoning is absurd to those of us in the know, it comprises firmly held beliefs among our children who, I’d like to point out, didn’t make them up. They learned them us. It’s too hard for us to face the terrifying facts that we do not have enough power to set our children up in happiness for life, that all the gumption in the world will be insufficient, that it actually isn’t true that they can be whatever they want to be, and that the children’s gifts and raw material, plus a whole lot of luck of the draw, are the major determinants of their future, not their “dreams.”

As Mickey Goodman argued in the HuffPost piece, we have focused so much on making our kids happy, that “now it’s difficult for them to generate happiness.” We’ve made the building up of “self-esteem” primary and the hard work of building up of social and intellectual skill sets and the ability to handle defeat quite secondary, at best. You know, if you believe it you can achieve it, even if you don’t have the skills or drive.

But the fact of the matter is that adult life is hard. That your “dreams” (and while you’re dreaming, dream big, we’ve told them) are not the thing to ground your whole future in. That Facebook relationships are fine and fun and affirming, but you also have to learn how to negotiate face-to-face relationships with people who are not your “friends,” who do not “like” everything you say and believe, and who do not see your birthday as something remotely significant.

And that as parents we finally are not powerful enough, no matter how much we say we’ll “give ‘em hell” and “set ‘em straight” to get the universe to conform to our familial fantasy world that our babies will get what we think they “deserve.”

Mediocrity is not just the same as excellence, the future is uncertain even for people with spunk, and yes, in fact, “it gets harder.”

BIO: Dr. Mama (Amber Kinser) is a writer, feminist mother, professor, and speaker who lives in Tennessee. Check her out on Facebook, follow her on Twitter @DrMamaWit, and see her webpage. Kinser writes for the MamaBlogger365 series each Thursday at the Museum Of Motherhood, Mamapalooza and Mamazina Magazine.

The Museum Of Motherhood is the first and only facility of its kind, celebrating the “her”story of mothers around the world. We need your help — please make your tax-deductible contribution today!Visit the Museum of Motherhood, NOW OPEN in NYC – Tues.-Sun., 10:45-6:30.

To make the situation more ridiculous, I broke my self-imposed three week diet — yes folks it was Ben & Jerry’s Phish food, no judgement — just so I could keep myself awake for the midnight-mini-marathon.

Oh yeah, it was that bad. But this viewing event was more than worth it. And if you haven’t a clue yet about what show my honey and I were watching, I shall enlighten you; I’m talking about the Masterpiece Classics stunner Downton Abbey.

I have to give a shout out to my Nia exercise buddy Martina (maker of the wondrous mince pies I love so dearly) for telling me that watching this show was a must. Indeed she was right.

Why is this show the best viewing event of the season? A not-to-be-missed tour-de-force on par with the best TV viewing experiences EVER!

Click here to read more!

BIO: By day Shira Adler is a cantor, spiritual vocalist, certified pastlife regressionist, voice-over artist, producer, performer, writer/blogger and mompreneur and by night… well, she is actually the same person at night though she does admit to wearing fuzzy socks when no one can see her and hiding a secret stash of Mallomars somewhere near her writing desk for those late night pick-me-ups. In, around, and between her various work activities, she is raising two beyond-the-spectrum children as a single mom (though lovingly gives a shout out to her best friend, editor and soulmate whom she considers the bees knees). Is it any wonder her website’s tag line is One Voice Many Paths? Seriously, look up the definition of a multi-tasking Mama and you will find her picture there. But when it comes to living a life of connection, faith and consciousness Shira is the gal to call — or if you’re fresh out of Mallomars — she’s always happy to give you one. For more information visit: ShiraAdler.com, read her blog at Diva-Mama.com; Social: Twitter (1DivaMama), Facebook (DivaMama1), Tumblr (not really sure, but the name is cute) and LinkedIn (because doesn’t everyone?).

The Museum Of Motherhood is the first and only facility of its kind, celebrating the “her”story of mothers around the world. We need your help — please make your tax-deductible contribution today!Visit the Museum of Motherhood, NOW OPEN in NYC – Tues.-Sun., 10:45-6:30.