Yesterday, I hit 23 weeks pregnant.  Just over halfway.  For most of that 23 weeks, I’ve been suffering from the excessive nausea and vomiting that goes along with Hyperemesis Gravidarum, or HG. It doesn’t feel possible that I’m only half way through.  It feels like this pregnancy has lasted forever.  This has easily been the longest five months of my life.

Luckily, the vomiting I described in my first post about living with HG has lessened quite a bit.  I’m not sure if it’s lessened on its own or if I just have it under control now with medication.  In the first trimester, the of nausea and vomiting of HG caused me to lose 20 pounds. While at home with my family for the first half of the second trimester (first six weeks), I managed to gain 29 pounds, but my weight has been constant over the 3 weeks since returning to Germany.  Being surrounded by family to help out and having a mom cooking for you all the time helps a lot with weight gain.

I’m still taking the antiemetic dimenhydrinate, the active ingredient in Dramamine. I take about 100-150mg (the equivalent of 2-3 Dramamine a day, 2 is a good day), which is down quite a bit from the 400mg I was taking at the worst of the nausea. While I’m vomiting less (maybe once a week), I’m still dealing with excessive nausea and exhaustion, pushing myself physically usually ends in tears and 5-10 minutes of dry heaving.

This inability to push myself physically has me worried how I will handle the birth.  I guess women have had babies after months of bed rest before, so I’ll manage to do what I have to do, but it worries me a lot that I’m not going in to this as prepared as I should be.  One flight of stairs is hard, two flights of stairs is my limit, any more than that and the tears start flowing.  On flat surfaces, I can usually manage 15-30 minutes of walking, depending on how slowly I go.  I know this is far from ideal shape to be in prior to giving birth.  But I guess I have four months to go still, maybe things will get better.

I forgot to mention in the last post, one of the symptoms that often goes hand in hand with the excessive nausea of HG, extreme motion sickness.  Car rides require doping up with anti-nausea medicine, making it impossible for me to drive any sort of distance.  I can make it to my local supermarket, and that’s as far as I would trust myself to go.  When I was in the US, I couldn’t make it to the nearest outlet mall on the first try (this was just before my husband left at the beginning of January).  We stopped halfway, went to a regular mall, where I spent most of the time sitting in the food court, then headed home.  I did manage to make it there with my brother shortly before returning to Germany.  Depending on people to drive you anywhere is frustrating.

The motion sickness even occurs with television and movies.  I went to see “It’s Complicated” in the US and had to close my eyes for much of the last 20 minutes because I wasn’t feeling well.  I didn’t go anywhere near “Avatar,” I figured that would not go well.  Any television show with quick cuts or a lot of motion is off limits as well.

I’m still struggling with feeling socially isolated as well.  At home I was surrounded by family, with my mother and brother even calling from work every day just to check if I was okay or needed anything.  It’s very lonely in Germany where friends have their own lives, families to care for, and problems to deal with.

I try to put on a brave face to the world, but sometimes I wonder if this is the best thing for me to do.  Maybe the brave face makes people think that everything’s hunky dory, when in fact I’m usually just barely hanging on.  Asking for help is maybe one of the hardest things for someone in need to do.  I don’t want to bother anyone, but sometimes even just an occasional phone call to chitchat or gossip would mean the world.

Facebook has been both a Godsend and a torture device. I can communicate with friends around the world and see what everyone is up to on there, making me feel like I’m still in the loop, still a part of the world, but seeing what everyone is up to is a problem as well.  I see that my friends are meeting up at a café, getting together for playdates, or just referring to a fun night spent hanging out, and I throw myself a little pity party because HG has made so I’m not up to joining in the fun. 

I don’t really know what else to say.  I want to post something uplifting, for others going through my situation, but I just don’t feel it in my heart.  HG is hard.  The hardest thing I’ve ever been through.  I know when I see my baby that I’ll feel it was all worth it, that these months were just a small fraction of my life, years from now I will probably barely remember this time, but it’s hard to feel that now.

I just keep in mind that there are a lot of other women in my same situation. We’re not alone.  And at the end of this, we’ll have something beautiful.  There are a lot worse things that people go through than this, and we should try to keep that in mind.

If you’re suffering from HG, hang in there, and check out Hyperemesis Education and Research website.

You may also be interested in reading:

• When it’s not just morning sickness: Living with Hyperemesis Gravidarum (16)
• Being over-expectant (7)

An old friend of mine just sent a link around to this MotherStyles quiz and I found it really interesting. It’s a Myers-Briggs type quiz analyzing your mothering/parenting style.  Turns out I’m an INTP mom, or a “Love of Learning” mom, who excels at calmness, and fostering independence and love of learning, but struggles with routine and order.  I think that’s pretty accurate, and if I remember correctly, my Myers-Briggs type is INTP as well.

What’s your mothering style?

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I am a huge fan of Victoria’s Secrets Soft & Sexy Wrap.  It’s not marketed for maternity and nursing wear, but that’s what so special about it.  It’s a good wardrobe investment that you can wear for years to come.  I’m 17 weeks pregnant and it fits great and is cute, I expect I can continue wearing throughout spring and it’ll make a great nursing cover-up in the fall and winter.  Isabella Oliver Maternity carries a similar style in ivory and black that is on sale now for $122, and is not as versatile in the ways it can be tied because the sweater fabric is thicker.  The Victoria’s Secret version comes in 11 different colors (I’m wearing it in Coral Madness right now and love it!) and can be tied in many different ways.  Even better?  It’s on sale right now for $39 and Victoria’s Secret ships worldwide.  Take a look:

The above twist-front tie back style I think could work well during nursing.  Just put a nursing cami or tank top underneath and the part covering the breast can be lifted up to create a nursing opening while your tummy stays covered by the wrapped part.

What do you think of the Soft & Sexy Wrap?  Do you have any tips for non-maternity/nursing clothing that is versatile enough to work during pregnancy and/or nursing?

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I’m currently in my 16th week of my second pregnancy.  With my first child, I was nauseous during the first trimester, but hadn’t thrown up at all.  I wasn’t surprised to find a few weeks in that I was getting nauseous this time around.  I wasn’t even surprised the first few times I threw up, about 8 weeks along.  I figured every pregnancy is different and this time my morning sickness was a little worse (not to mention it was usually dinner I was throwing up, so I liked to refer to it as “evening” sickness).

By week 10, I was throwing up pretty much every lunch and had stopped eating dinner.  I was trying all the home remedies against nausea I could find.  I made a super strong ginger syrup for making homemade ginger ale.  I tried meditation, blackberry juice, yoga, cumin seeds, peppermint tea, chamomile tea, pressure point therapy, apple cider vinegar, rice water.  Nothing helped.

Within a few days, I was throwing everything up.  Previously, I could at least count on keeping breakfast down, but that time was over.  I was even throwing up black tea and mineral water.  I was getting weaker and weaker, and soon I couldn’t leave the house except to visit the doctor and split my time between the bed and sofa.  I relied on the television to babysit my two year old.  I just didn’t have the energy to care for him.  He got microwave lunches and lots of educational videos.

My husband would take off half or full days whenever he could, and the neighbors would take my son Oliver whenever they could, but it was tough being an expat and living so far from family.  It was lonely being stuck in the house, not having contact with friends, and I struggled with depression and homesickness.

My doctor suggested I check into the hospital for a few days, but I hate hospitals and couldn’t bring myself to consider it yet.  She prescribed dimenhydrinate suppositories (the active ingredient in Dramamine), they helped me keep down food better, but I had problems with the side effects.  The doctor switched me to Nausema, a high dose tablet of vitamins B6, B1 and B12.  It didn’t have any side effects, but was also hardly effective.

Things got worse and worse.  I was losing about 3 pounds a week.  A pound is 3,500 calories, so if you think about it, I was undereating by over 10,000 calories a week.  I was looking towards the end of the first trimester as an endpoint, things would get better then, and I had planned a trip to go home to my family in the states at week 13 of my pregnancy.  I thought that things had to improve soon.

Then I discovered the H.E.R. Foundation website (Hyperemesis Education & Research).  It confirmed what I suspected, that common nausea remedies don’t generally work for HG (Hyperemesis Gravidarum - excessive nausea in pregnancy).  It also said that HG usually doesn’t stop at the end of the first trimester, it usually lasts into week 20 and can last the entire pregnancy.  I decided to check into the hospital.  Before going in, at week 12, I was 18 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight.

This was the first time I’d been in the hospital that it felt good to be there.  I’ve lost my hatred of being hospitalized.  I was on an IV drip with dimenhydrinate and electrolytes.  I still felt lousy the first 2 days in, but by he third day I was feeling a little better, although I still threw up several times during my stay.  I was in for 4 days, until the day before flying to the US.  The doctors at the hospital didn’t really want to let me out, I think the doctors would have kept me there for weeks if I didn’t insist.  I lost 2 more pound while I was in hospital.

I requested dimenhydrinate capsules for the trip, the only side effect of the capsules was that I’d get tired, avoiding the problems I had with the suppositories (you don’t want to know about those, but if you use your imagination, I’m sure you could figure out what might have been the problem).  I was prescribed the equivalent of 8 Dramamine a day.  If anyone has taken 1 or even 2 Dramamine for motion sickness, you know how even that small a dosage can knock you out.

The trip to the US was torturous.  I was in tears by the time we made it to the gate of our second plane in Amsterdam.  I threw up during the transatlantic flight, despite massive doses of anti-nausea medicine.  But things have been improving in the US.  I’m surrounded by family, who help with my son and let me get all the rest that I need.  I’ve managed to gain back 8 pounds in the half month I’ve been home, although the calories haven’t been the most healthy.  I find myself mostly craving comfort foods, like hamburgers, ribs, Reese’s cereal, and Baskin Robbins ice cream.  I’m not worrying too much about eating right anymore.  I’m still nauseous, although I’m throwing up much less frequently.  I just eat whatever I have desire to eat.  Some days I’ll look at an apple and think “Yum!” sometimes I think “NO!!!”  I don’t force the issue.  Whatever looks appetizing goes.

Because of the dosage of medication, I spend most of my time sleeping, or zoning out on the couch.  I’ve managed to leave the house twice since arriving.  I went to the supermarket on Christmas Eve, and that was fine, although it took me 3 days to recover.  Yesterday I went to Target to try on some maternity clothes (I got a really cute dress), but it was too much and I ended up making two rushed, extremely uncomfortable trips to the restroom, which was full of moms and kids, and was just not a place I would ever want to be sick in again.

I’m waiting desperately for the nausea to ease up.  I try avoiding doses when I can, just because I feel more with it when I’m not on the medicine, but I also know I need to keep eating and I need to break the nausea cycle.

I have a few good days in between the bad.  The first few days after a good day are the worst.  The good day makes you think things are getting better, then it all comes crashing back.  The day or two after a good day, I often find myself in tears at the slightest provocation.

My husband and I canceled our vacation next week in New York.  My husband goes back to Germany on the 7th and my brother goes back to work after New Years.  I’m a little nervous about how the month of January here is going to go.  I wasn’t expecting to still be ill.  If I’m not better, I don’t know how I can manage the flight back alone with my 2 year old at the end of January.  I just hope I’m one of the women who feels better by week 20.

For more information on HG, I recommend the HER Foundation website.  If you have a friend or family member suffering from HG, there is a great section on what you can do to help them.

You may also be interested in reading:

• Struggling with Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG): Week 23 Update (9)
• Being over-expectant (7)

My son is now nearly two months old and yes, I do manage to nurse him. He takes ages to get full up, so I sit a LOT… I try to walk about nursing him sometimes, but it isn’t always a good time or a good idea… So, I have to sit comfortable when he is at it or I get really sore!

When I was pregnant with my first, I purchased a nursing chair. It was sold by many baby shops in the UK as a nursing chair, but was also available widely in other stores.

This was the Dutailier Express Jamie Recline Glider & Stool. It cost at the time around £500. This recliner had a nice gliding motion and reclined. The recliner could be locked into several reclined positions and promised to be very comfy. I found the design of the chair was quite old fashioned. The other things I did not like was: the footstool could not lock into position - it rocked with the recliner, so it could get dangerous when babies start crawling and tries to pull themselves up on it. When I sat for long periods of time on it, my behind got really sore and numb in the end… So when my daughter was big enough to crawl, I got rid of the chair. The gliding and reclining was good, but just not that amazing to make me keep it.

So, when I got to thinking about nursing this time around, I had a look at the Stressless from Ekornes. Now, this one does not compare with the Dutailier at all. Well, not when it comes to price (anything from 800 to 3,000euros) styling or comfort. We wanted a recliner for our living room and the Stressless happened to come in the same colour leather as our sofa. It also comes in different sizes and usually has a footstool as well. The Stressless comes in various designs and sizes. There will be one to suit anyone. We planned to use the recliner in our living room for as long as we needed it there and then move it up into the nursery, where I could even have a nap in it.

Well, we have just come to the conclusion that the recliner will not move into the nursery. It is everything we had wanted, so it is just too special to be hidden…

Ikea has launched a rocking armchair in their POÄNG series, so I looked at it. It is pretty modern and comes in various colours. Although it comes at a really good price of around 100 to 300 euros (including a footstool), It was just not to my liking.

The FATBOY beanbag is sold in many stores here in our home city, and mydaughter happened to love playing on them. So I went and tried it out. The FATBOY sits really comfy and looked like it would work. If we wanted to move it to a different room, it weighs only 9kg end you can easily find a comfy seated position on it. We could have a play on it and my daughter can pull it around. So this seemed like a fun item. It only costs 179euros if you buy from the website and delivery was included in the price. I ordered at lunchtime and the next morning it was delivered! I tried it out and found that this was the most comfy for nursing. I created a “bucket” seat for myself, lifting my knees to support my arms, so taking the strain off my arms when holding my baby when nursing. I found I could easily push it into shape to support my head very comfortably so I could relax my neck too. Yes, it could be tricky to get up out of it, but if you shape it so you don’t sit too close to the floor, it isn’t too bad. We love it.

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As the gift-giving season approaches, I thought I’d list a couple of my favorite sites for browsing for gifts, (apart from the various Amazon country sites, of course).

The MoMA Store - This is the shop for the Museum of Modern Art in NYC.  As you can imagine, the focus here is on design.  There are beautiful items for all ages and price ranges, and most items are available for international shipment.  Also, all purchases from the shop go to support the exhibitions at the museum.

Red Envelope - Self-described as the place for unique and personalized gifts.  There aren’t a lot of kids presents, but there are quite a few items that would be great as shower gifts for new or soon-to-be parents.  Shipping is only within the US.

Oompa - Great shop for eco-friendly, wooden and European toys located in the US.

Oliebollen - Cute designer kids clothes and hip toys, a lot of European stuff, also located and ships only within the US.

I thought I’d mention a couple German sites as well.  German sites are much less likely to have gift guides, so you gotta do more browsing on them.

Habitat.de - this is a home store that specializes in cool design.  The kitchen and living room accessories areas are a good place to find gifts for grown-ups.  There is a nice kids section with toys too.  The site is in German and ships only within Germany.

Takotomo.de - A somewhat cluttered site full of novelty items for kids and adults.  There’s a lot of funky stuff on here though, and I’ve ordered successfully several times.  The site is in English and German, and ships worldwide.

Jako-o.com - A great kid’s shop with cute clothes and clever toys picked by parents.  This site is available in a couple languages and ships all over the EU.

What are your favorite go-to sites for gifts?

You may also be interested in reading:

• The BVS Top Ten Toys of 2009 (2)
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As Christmas approaches, I know we’re all wondering what to get for the little ones in our lives.  For some ideas, here are the German BVS, Bundesverband des Spielwaren-Einzelhandels (Federal Association of Toy Retailers) top ten toys of 2009.  They’re not all available outside of Germany, but most are.  Have fun!

1. 36 Cube by Thinkfun - a puzzle for ages 8 and up that challenges you to concentrate, think strategically and logically, be patient, problem solve, use your visual perception and fine motor skills.
2. Burg der 1000 Spiegel (Castle of 1000 Mirrors) from Kosmos - For ages 6 and up.  Help the little vampire Viktor recover all of his missing items, he’s missplaced them somewhere in his huge castle.  This game was also awarded the 2009 Deutscher Kinderspiele Preis, German Children’s Game of the Year.
3. Disney Fairies Pixie Glitter - A tie in with the new Tinkerbell movie.  Fairies for ages 3 and up.
4. FurReal Friends Lulu the Cuddly Kitty - Just like a real kitty, but without the feeding, allergies and litter box.  For ages 4 and up.
5. Playmobil Furnished School Building - With class room, science room, art room, music room and office, and plenty of accessories.  For ages 4 and up.
6. Mattel Password Journal - Helps your child keep their journal entries private with voice recognition, password protection and an intruder alert. For ages 6 and up.
7. Hasbro Monopoly City - Monopoly gets a makeover.  Instead of deeds, you get zoning permits to develop the landscape into a city. For ages 8 and up.
8. Lego Power Miners Thunder Driller - Power Miners are the top lego-theme of 2009.  Ages 8-14.
9. Wowwee’s Roborover - a cute and easy to use remote control robot buddy for ages 6 and up.
10. Schleich World of Elves - Extremely detailed figures to help your child recreate their favorite elven fairy tales. Ages 3 and up.

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With economic times being tough, I had been thinking about putting together a post on what baby/kid items are needed and which we can do without, but it was such a huge task, that I never got around to writing it.  So I’ve decided to make it a series and go one item at a time.

As a new parent, I thought a fancy diaper pail was necessary and after weighing the pros and cons of the pails available, I chose the Diaper Champ, because I could use ordinary garbage bags instead of having to buy special bags, like for systems like the Diaper Genie.

It was great.  We loved it.  My husband didn’t want one originally, but became a believer.

Our son was born at the end of July, by winter, the smell was starting to get noticeable, even without diapers in the Champ.  I’d wash it with bleach, I put baking soda and dryer sheets in the pail. The pail had to move to our patio.  Luckily, the door to the patio was next to the changing table.

But then spring came and we had to give up the pail completely.  We couldn’t sit outside on the patio without being overwhelmed by the smell.  I can only speak for the Champ, but I’ve seen similar complaints in the reviews of other systems.  It sounds like many need to be replaced every year.

Why add to your costs and add additional waste in landfills?

Our new solution is that wet diapers go in the kitchen trash, and poop diapers get taken out to the curbside trash immediately.  The only time we wait is if the weather is horrendous, and then we put the diaper in a small plastic bag and set it aside to bring to the curbside trash as soon as possible.

Now, of course, this is not the best solution for everyone.  I imagine if you live on the 5th floor of a building with no elevator, getting to the building’s trash room won’t be as easy as my walk to the street.

How do you deal with diaper disposal?

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I’ve got back problems, and it was always a pain, literally, to hold my son over the sink to brush his teeth and wash his face and hands.  In the beginning, I used a wash cloth to clean him off and just picked him up to let him spit out the toothpaste, but the older (and heavier) he got, the more he wanted to do these things all on his own, like the grown ups.

I looked at step stools for kids, which are usually one step, about half a foot high, with a rubberized top.  These were much too short to help.  We tried the base of his Tummy Tub, but it was still too short and I still had to lift him up.  Finally, at Janda’s house, I noticed she’d come upon a great solution.  The Ikea Bekväm step stool.

The Ikea Bekväm step stool is meant for adults, but it works great for toddlers.  It’s stable and the little ones can easily climb up on their own.  The wood is more attractive, in my opinion, than the plastic kid’s step stools.  When you’re kid outgrows it, you can still use it as a step stool around the house.  And did I mention it’s inexpensive, it goes for $19.99 in the US, and €12.99 in Germany.  We’ve never had a problem with the wooden surface being slippery, but if you wanted to be extra careful, you could add some non-skid stickers on top.

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I find myself 41 weeks and 1 day pregnant today. As Delene was born 11 days after her due date, I had made up my mind since the very beginning of this pregnancy that this baby was going to be late too. I told everyone that too. I wanted to save myself the hard realization that came to me by the due date the first time… I have to say here that there was no chance that my due date could be uncertain.

All health professionals assured me that this time it would go faster. I believed them up to a point. I agreed that I was a lot more active this time around and a lot more fit. One day, when I was 36 weeks pregnant and cycling through the city with my daughter in the buggy behind the bike, I looked down at my gears and realized that I could not gear down any further… And that was on a down hill! That and the fact that my baby was kicking me quite a bit when cycling made me stop cycling.

At around 38 weeks, I had serious cramping. It was so heavy that I got quite exited! I even got a friend around to come help pack my hospital bag… It was just cramping. When I saw my gynaecologist that week, she said that I was 1cm dilated… I read about it and knew that one could be up to 4 cm dilated for four weeks, but I have to be honest and say that I did get my hopes up! Then at 39 weeks, I lost my mucus plug. I was so exited that I managed to draw blood whilst shaving my legs! Well, yes, they say that this too could happen long before delivery. When another friend went into labor on her due date and delivered the next day, I was green with envy. Then I realized that I had let go of my instinctive decision that I will not expect to have this baby on or near the due date.

Still laughing about all the tales about things that could bring on labor, I started reading about them. There are so many! Some completely silly, but some I can see working. So when the due date came and went, I started trying some… I

• walked… a bit. Pain in my pelvis made it a bit hard to go too far.
• tried drinking raspberry leaf tea… Uggg! I don’t like tea in any way, but the stuff made me feel quite unwell.
• had acupuncture.  Three times. Once a week. The last one was 4 days ago.
• ate pineapple
• ate curry
• drank sparkling wine
• had warm baths
• had sex
• tried nipple stimulation
• got a gym ball and bounced around my home
• nested
• stop nesting
• got bored
• watched a weepy movie
• drank the verbena* tea the midwife told me about. Well, I have been drinking it now for 4 days.
• had some fresh dates

So, I have tried many things.

There are still some other things I could try, if I want. These are:

• drinking Castor oil with orange juice…
• Having a membrane sweep by your health care professional
• Homeopathy
• Evening primrose oil on the cervix
• Using the herbs blue cohosh and black cohosh
• Blowing up balloons
• Wearing my best underwear… sods law…

Trying these things made me come to the point where I realized that if the baby isn’t ready and willing to be born, trying these things may not help at all. So, should I continue trying these remedies until they do pay off or should I just relax and allow nature to take it’s course? I don’t know yet! I would like to have my baby soon and I would do just about anything to avoid being induced when my 42 weeks are up… But would it work?

Does anyone know of a different remedy? Has something worked for you? Let us know!

* Verbena Tea: Boil 1l water with 2cm of ginger, a cinnamon stick and 10 whole cloves for 15 minutes. Add 5g of Verbena tea leaves and stand for 10 minutes. Strain. Drink 3-5cups of this per day diluted with orange juice or apricot juice.

You may also be interested in reading:

• When it’s not just morning sickness: Living with Hyperemesis Gravidarum (16)
• Struggling with Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG): Week 23 Update (9)