Mana for the soul

new blog

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:10:00 -0500

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once more

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 23:25:00 -0600

it's been a pretty craptastic week or two. i can't seem to get into rhythm. i'm in this weird limbo/transition period right now, and i don't like it. God has been revealing a lot of idols in my heart lately. i keep telling Him what i want, and He keeps asking if i trust Him... i don't really like this dialog. i mean i do, but it's been difficult. i deeply desire more of Him, and yet i struggle against it. i debating how much to share of what's floating in my head, because a lot of my thoughts would seem pretty random to most, and yet somehow they all fit together for me. i have a lot of time, and yet i feel like God has been calling me to be still. i try to get lost in distraction, and so i've been struggling with sin. lust and gluttony are my distractions of choice. oh how easily i wander, how easily i'm pulled away and ensnared by the immediate relief they offer. i've been doing a lot of remembering lately, a lot of reflecting. i miss a lot of things... God why do i have these memories, what would you have me to do with them? how easily i doubt His promises, how quickly i forget His faithfulness. i'd like to leave this all tidy and concluded, but sitting here, i feel like a mess. i can't always finish with answers because i'm still in progress.

fervently and unceasingly

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Sat, 2 Feb 2008 02:17:00 -0600

dear beloved

there are those moments of clarity when things come into focus, and you just know.

you beg and plead for answers, to just understand... and He responds.

how many times do we ask and not listen? how many times have we cried out and assumed Him silent.

but in knowing, can we hold unswervingly to the Hope that we have? can we trust Him, completely and entirely...

we know Him trustworthy and yet tremble at His response.

have you ever been shook to the core, to the very fiber that holds you together?

praying fervently and unceasingly:

that you would know a love that surpasses understanding
that in Him you would find breath and life and every good thing
that you would lose your life to gain it

a dim reflection,
yours

the greatest tragedy (part one)

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 19:50:00 -0600

the greatest tragedy (part one)

the LORD God said, "it is not good for man to be alone. i will make a helper suitable for him."
Genesis 2:18

in perfection, it was not good for man to be alone. we find ourselves in a broken and fallen world, but Jesus came to redeem and restore. Scripture is Gods story of redemption. it's testimony after testimony revealing the character of our Creator. the One who was, who is, and who'll always be. we find ourselves caught up in His story. He beckons we stare at Him, stare at Jesus. to celebrate and imitate. only in Him will we find breath and life and every good thing.

marriage is a picture. it's the closet representation we have of Christ and the church, His bride. how did something so beautiful become so perverted and tainted? why does marriage bring about thoughts of heavy bonds and burden? when did it become a second rate pursuit?

our generations greatest tragedy is the destruction of marriage.

for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24

the very air we breath is poisoned, and this shouldn't come as a surprise. we are ambassadors in a foreign land. we battle our sinful nature and the enemy. everything became fractured at the fall, beauty ruined.

so how do we redeem relationships? how do we restore the beauty of marriage?
we have to understand the purpose of marriage. we have to understand Gods intended roles for men and women.

do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.
romans 12:2

we exist to know Him and make Him known. He is our greatest good. the purpose of marriage is to bring glory to God. isn't it funny how we've separated good from God? we constantly battle against believing that God wants to keep us from good. why can't we have sex with whomever, whenever we want? why must commitment precede our emotional and physical desires? why must men love by sacrificing, and why must women love by submitting? how often we believe that we know better than God... the Creator of the universe! if we say it aloud, it's comical. but that's exactly how we live.

we were created for relationship. when Jesus prayed before He was taken to the cross, He desired for us to be one, as He is one with the Father. (John 17:20-22) Jesus is our model for perfect relationship. God the Son (Jesus) submits to God the Father, and God the Holy Spirit submits to the Son. they're all equally God, but they each have distinct roles in the trinity. so too with us, male and female. we have equal value in the sight of God, both being created in His image, but we have distinct roles. God created us distinctly to serve the body, and these differences were given to bring Him glory.

the destruction of marriage began with the destruction of our distinct roles in relationship; the distinct roles modeled by Jesus, and laid out in scripture.

so what are our distinct roles?

God created man, and then He created women (from man) as a helpmate. He created adam, and then gave eve to adam to help adam attend to the directive God had given him. adams directive was two-fold; to govern and cultivate the earth. (Genesis 2:15) eve was given adams directive, in other words she was given to help adam accomplish his directive, she wasn't given her own. adam and eve together were given the second directive, be fruitful and multiply. neither adam or eve could accomplish these directives apart from each other. from the beginning in perfection, men and women were compliments to each other with distinct roles. (Genesis 1:28)

Jesus added one more directive after His resurrection; to be His ambassadors. (Matthew 28:16-20)

men are called to be Christs ambassadors, govern and cultivate the earth, and be fruitful and multiply. women are called to be Christs ambassadors and to help/assist a man in accomplishing His directives.

God gives each man a unique task in the overall directive in which to accomplish. women are called to one man to assist/help accomplish this task. at some point we decided we didn't like the roles God laid out for us, and began defining our roles as we pleased. we display by our words and actions that our ways are better then His. we lose sight of our distinct but equally valuable roles as men and women. lazy and idle men have relinquished their roles as leaders, and cultivators. while women have been deceived into believing that wife and mother are secondary pursuits.

our primary calling as men and women is to be Christs ambassadors, but God has given us, male and female, distinct roles to play in His story.

our primary role as men is to lead, cultivate, and multiply. women your primary role is to help/assist one man to lead, cultivate, and multiply.

for further study: Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson

the tide

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 00:05:00 -0600

the tide ebbs and flows

oceans roar

seas of calm

tossed to and fro

gliding gently

going under

rising swiftly

lost at sea

safely ashore

suffocating

breathing deeply

awaiting death

enjoying life

take me under

lead me home

i celebrate and imitate

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 20:48:00 -0600

"i celebrate the day" - relient k

and with this Christmas wish is missed
the point i could convey

if only i could find the words to say to let You know how much You've touched my life
because here is where You're finding me, in the exact same place as new year's eve

and from a lack of my persistency
we're less than half as close as i want to be

chorus:

and the first time
that You opened Your eyes did You realize that You would be my Savior

and the first breath that left Your lips
did You know that it would change this world forever

bridge:

to look back and think that
this baby would one day save me

in the hope that what You did
that you were born so i might really live

to look back and think that
this baby would one day save me

and so this Christmas i'll compare the things i've felt in prior years
to what this midnight made so clear
that You have come to meet me here

and i, i celebrate the day
that You were born to die
so i could one day pray for You to save my life

pray for you to save my life

the Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. we have seen His glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
John 1:14

He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification.
Romans 4:25

we are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. we implore you on Christ's behalf: be reconciled to God.
2 Cor 5:20

whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.
Matt 10:39

the battle wages

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 23:07:00 -0600

the dance begins
and dreams ensue

He loved
you received

He asked
you obeyed

He sustained
through want and plenty

but a new day beckoned
He led, you followed

you crossed his path
he crossed your path

he asked
you answered

he spoke, you listened
you spoke, he listened

He initiated, you reciprocated
He wooed, you drew near

you giggled, he laughed
he enjoyed, you delighted

he impassioned, you embodied
you shone, he radiated

He whispered, you listened
He led, you followed

you waited, he planed
you anticipated, he executed

pointing and reflecting
you reminded, he edified

he battled, you dreamed
you encouraged, he pursued

he asked, you trusted
you followed, he led

though each skirmish
step by step
dancing and dreaming

i desire. i demand.

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Thu, 6 Dec 2007 01:36:00 -0600

what causes fights and quarrels among you? don't they come from your desires that battle within you? you want something but don't get it. you kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. you quarrel and fight. you do not have, because you do not ask God. when you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
james 4:1-3

so desire isn't bad. to desire love, to desire acceptance, to desire value and worth. He wired us this way, we were designed to desire these things. but because we are broken, because we are sinners, we've tainted it.

"just as cars were made to run on gas, so we were made to run on Him"
cs lewis

we try to fulfill those desires with creation. when He is enough, He is sufficient. He designed us to be fully satisfied in delighting and enjoying Him forever.

idolatry is desire turned to demand

i understand this intellectually, but how often do i live this way? i begin finding my value and worth in their love and acceptance. an idol is born. i begin expecting encouragement and affirmation. i demand. i begin giving only to receive. i punish. i elevate my desire to need, when my only true need is Christ.

whom have i in heaven but you?
and earth has nothing i desire besides you.
my flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
psalm 73:25-26

may we rejoice that Hope has ransomed us, and that we idolaters are accounted our saviors righteousness.

and may we worship and delight in the One who is worthy, who holds all things together, and who offers life... that is truly life.

the next adventure

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Sun, 2 Dec 2007 23:57:00 -0600

so i rarely journal...

but i needed to flesh out some things. i've been in this crazy place lately. it's hard to put to words. maybe i'm just bad with words. it seems when i need them the most they fail me. when i'd like to express myself clearly, i'm the least clear. and yet i have these moments of pure brilliance. that sounded pretty prideful, i apologize. but seriously, like God has allowed me to be present to watch him work. and my heart swells to think that i want that for you. i want you to know Him and see Him, even if for brief glimpses of something indescribable. i desire to share that, to see people encounter and experience Him. i've been feeling discontent lately. i want more than this. and i don't mean like empty. i mean like i feel like i settle for good. but He is great, He is creator King of the universe. am i limiting Him? like my little plans could compare to His? it's just i've seen bad, i've seen ugly, i've seen horrible. like i'm negotiating with Him, and telling Him i'm okay with good... i just don't want horrible. but He's sitting there saying you can do good, but only i can do great. the holidays are hard. this whole single thing is beginning to weigh. like i could have something, but i don't just want something, i want something beautiful ... something that reflects who He is. so i pray for that. i pray for something beyond me, something only He can provide and is capable of.

i've tried to describe my life before, and always the best descriptive i have is i'm caught in the whirlwind that is God. not even sure if that's really adequate, but it's the closest i've got. but if i'm inviting someone to join me in it, i'd have to ask them if they're ready for an adventure. He's been so faithful in that prayer, and the invitation stands.

and so i await the next adventure... maybe the next chapter in the story. you get the picture.

search me, O God

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 13:56:00 -0600

how often do we ask Him to use us, and then when He does, we dislike the means?
is that what we really meant? were we really trusting Him with total control?
or was it, only use me in ways that i'm comfortable being used...

then i heard the voice of the Lord saying, "whom shall i send? and who will go for Us?" and i said, "here am i. send me!"
isaiah 6:8

i sit in the realization of how often i ask the Lord to use me, and how often i spurn the Lords discipline and training.

and you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
"my son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when He rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines those He loves,
and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son."
hebrews 12:5-6

how often i question His purpose and plans. how can i know His word to be true and promises sure, and then not trust them?

every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
james 1:17

father you know that i love you... but how often i wander, how often i don't place you utmost.

how easily we forget His faithfulness, how quickly we wallow in our present sufferings.

now if we are children, then we are heirs-heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory.
romans 8:17

may He continually remind us of who He is, may His grace and truth encounter us, and may He be our God and we His people.

we are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. we implore you on Christ's behalf: be reconciled to God.
2 cor 5:20

i plead for God to make us the kind of people who desire Him utmost, to kill in us what would prevent us from more of Him, to protect us from becoming caught up in all that would entangle and distract us from finding joy and fulfillment in enjoying Him solely and completely.

search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
see if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
psalm 139:23-24

perfectly reconciled

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 12:04:00 -0600

God is Just.

the penalty of sin is death. sin is not just the bad things we do, but a condition we're born with. so we're all guilty. we're all sinners. we have a disease that we can not cure.

and God is Just.

justice is receiving what you deserve. so we have a problem. if God is just, then we all deserve death. death being eternal separation from our greatest good, God.

so God is Just?

sacrifice. throughout the old testament sheep and goats were sacrificed for sin. the penalty had to be paid. but there's still a problem, we continually sin. we are worship thieves, we worship creation over the creator. we disobey, we think are ways are better then His. we steal, we lie, we murder, we lust... we fall short.

Gods Justice

why do we try to separate the God of the old testament from the God of the new? has He changed?
from genesis to malachi we see the revealed character of God, I AM. God commands His people to destroy nations and kingdoms. He strikes down those who disobey Him. His people are killed, scattered, and their land ravaged.

God is Just and Merciful.

but don't miss His mercy. we deserve punishment. our just punishment is to be destroyed, to be struck down, to be scattered, ravaged, and killed. we deserve death.

so God is Just and Merciful?

Mercy is not receiving what we deserve. Have we only read half the story? in genesis when adam and eve sinned, did God separate Himself from them eternally? no, but death would have been a just punishment. remember that sin deserves death, and anything short is mercy. the old testament is filled with testimony after testimony of Gods abundant mercy shown toward a stubborn, rebellious, and sinful people.

the culmination of His Justice and Mercy.

so how does a Just and Merciful God reconcile stubborn, rebellious, and sinful people? the new testament is the testimony of the perfect culmination of Justice and Mercy in the God-Man Jesus. the old testament was a foreshadow, of the One to come.

Justice and Mercy perfectly reconciled.

But He was pierced for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him,
and by His wounds we are healed.
isaiah 53:5

He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification.
romans 4:25

our just God sent His son to ransom us, to bear our punishment, our shame, our guilt, and our sins. He did so to perfectly display His abundant mercy, and reconcile to Himself a people separated from Him.

crippled

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Thu, 8 Nov 2007 21:23:00 -0600

the other day God was weighing a friend of mine on my heart, and as i began praying for him, i was reminded...

my friend can't use his legs fully because he is physically crippled, but every time i think of him, i don't think of someone crippled...

i think of a passionate man of God whose compassion, kindness, and mercy inspires and challenges me. it would seem that in my friends weakness, He is made greater. and not just in spite of it, but because of it...

and i began reflecting on my own weaknesses. i'm a relational novice, especially when it comes to the opposite sex. Gods wisdom and grace are apparent in many aspects of my life, but in this area i'm crippled.

and i've seen that not just in spite of my weakness, but because of it, He is made greater. that He has using my ignorance to draw me closer to Him.

so i pray that we would see Him magnified and glorified through crippled people. people like you and me...

but he said to me, "My Grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." therefore i will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. that is why, for Christ's sake, i delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. for when i am weak, then i am strong.
2 Cor 12:9-10

but God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him.
1 Cor 1:26-29

He must increase, i must decrease.
John 3:30

about a boy

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 13:52:00 -0500

a young couple bore a son. they loved each other and this son with all the love that they were capable of. the young woman raised this son, while the father provided for him. the father found his identity in his work, just as he had seen other fathers do. he worked long hours, night and day. he found assurance in his strength, his wisdom, and the safety he provided. the mother found her happiness in her son, just as other mothers before her had. she loved and cared for this son with all her strength and wisdom. she spend all day and all night with him. she loved him with all the love she was able to give. this young couple grew apart, the young father to his work, and the young mother to her child. the young mother had exhausted all the love she had for her young husband. there finally came a day when the young mother gathered her things along with her son, and left the home her husband had provided her. the husband fought with all his might, his wisdom, and his strength to recover his wife and son. he didn't notice his actions were only creating greater distance between himself and his wife and son. he didn't recognize the pain and anguish he caused them.

and the young boy grew...

the young mother wondered for many years why her young husbands love was never adequate. why their love failed each other and her son. she knew there was something missing, a void she couldn't fill. the young mothers life continued to fall apart. she began searching for answers. she encountered a group of people who claimed there was something more. they claimed they knew what was missing, and they offered to show her how to find it. she began meeting with these people regularly, and what they said confounded her. they said she could never attain the life she desired, that she was a sinner separated from her greatest good - her Creator. but they said there was Good News. they told her that a God-Man named Jesus lived a perfect life and died on a cross and He offers Grace to all who believe and receive. that He conquered death, and offered the life and love she desired. her life was turned upside down, as her Father brought her into the desert and wooed her. she finally believed and received.

and the young boy grew in wisdom and in stature...

the boy began seeing changes in his young mother. her life began reflecting differences he couldn't account for. she introduced him to people she'd encountered and began treating them like family. something was different about the way she loved, but he knew there was something more. he never understood why his young mother and fathers love had failed. nor why their love always failed him. he began searching for answers. and he too encountered these people who claimed to know what was missing. then one day these people explained the Gospel. in that moment the boy knew, he knew what was missing, and he knew what they spoke was true. and he believed and received.

and the young boy grew in wisdom and in stature before God and men...

the years went swiftly by. the boys life went though many seasons of joy and sorrow, want and plenty. but the boys Father loved, provided, and protected him. He disciplined his son, He molded and refined him. and one day his Father revealed the plan for his life, the purpose for which the boy was created. the boy was scared and doubted. but his Father reminded him that he was indeed incapable, but that He would do it. the boy grew in Grace and mercy.

and the boy became a man...

stare at jesus

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 20:46:00 -0500

i just finished reading "an echo in the darkness," which is the 2nd book in Francine Rivers mark of the lion trilogy. Francine is a phenomenal writer and story teller. she is able to use words to convey messages few have mastered. but what sets apart her works from others isn't those qualities, but how beautifully she saturates her writing with the gospel.

God has totally used her words to challenge and encourage me...

the story is set in biblical times, and chronicles a young jewish christian girls life (hadassah) after Jerusalem is destroyed by roman occupation. her family is killed, and she becomes enslaved to rome.

in the midst of the greatest sorrows and sufferings, she lived out the gospel. she remembered that He would never leave her or forsake her, and she lived a life of desperate dependence on Him.

how often do i look to circumstance to determine my welfare. thinking if i'd only had parents who loved me like they should have, or people in my life who didn't constantly disappoint me. if i could only go back and change this or that, wouldn't things be different.

God is that really how i treat you, do i really believe my plans are better then Yours?

if you took my sight
if i could never walk again
if my voice ceased

would i still praise your name?

something that continues to stick with me is the story of phoebe, the wife of hadassahs master. God used hadassah to share the gospel with her mistress, who came to faith. phoebe desired to live in the same desperate dependence and began using the wealth God had bestowed on her as a means of furthering His kingdom. but she began trying to earn the grace given her by acts of service. she began losing sight of Him over His kingdom. she began using ministry to distract her from her lost children whom God was placing on her heart. God forced her to stop, and listen. she had a stroke which left her paralyzed, leaving her face to face with her creator. God used this discipline to bring her closer to Himself.

"my son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when He rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines those He loves,
and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son."
hebrews 12:5-6; proverbs 3:11-12

how often do i take lightly His discipline? how often do i complain over my circumstance?

why do i forget that even the pain and sorrow is to bring me closer to Him?

this past weekend our pastor (matt chandler) presented the gospel. God used his words to speak powerfully to me.

"we want everything to be so complicated, we want something to do, when really all scripture requires is that we just stare at Jesus..."

oh the power of that statement, the depth of it's understanding. to just stare at Jesus.

to be so awe fully overwhelmed by His majesty, to walk in His strength, to overflow with His love, and to die as He died.

to depend desperately on Him for my every breath, and walk in grace and truth.

father, i can't do it but your son did! make me that kind of man. a man who can just stare at Jesus.

for by Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.
colossians 1:16-17

given freely

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 09:20:00 -0500

how often we succumb to the lie that He has abandoned us, that He has left us alone. the pain and sorrow so deep and severe He couldn't possible be near. we cry out "why oh Lord have you forsaken me?"

be strong and courageous. do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.
deu 31:6

why are we so easily deceived? He will NEVER leave you or forsake you, His creation, His child, His bride, His beloved. do we not trust His promise? do we not trust His word?

in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.
john 1:1-2

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
john 14:6

we think our questions are ignored or go unheard, but again we deceive ourselves.

ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. for everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
matthew 7:7-8

job was accredited righteousness by God. he cried to God in his anguish, pain, and sorrow. he lacked wisdom, clarity, and understanding. so he asked, begged, and pleaded with God, "why!!?!?"

why did I not perish at birth, and die as I came from the womb?
job 3:11

why is light given to those in misery, and life to the bitter of soul, to those who long for death that does not come, who search for it more than for hidden treasure, who are filled with gladness and rejoice when they reach the grave?
job 3:20-22

why is life given to a man whose way is hidden, whom God has hedged in?
job 3:23

and God answered job. but He answered job, just as He answers us.

where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?
tell me, if you understand.
who marked off its dimensions? surely you know!
who stretched a measuring line across it?
job 38:4-5

who are you that you should question the ways of the Almighty God? who are you that you believe you know what's best? who are you to think you could fathom the depths of His wisdom and understanding? we are but dust; held together by Him and created for His purpose.

for by Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.
col 1:16-17

why do we not understand that He is and we are not? that His ways are not our ways. that His plan will bring about our ultimate joy and fulfillment.

consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
james 1:2-5

do we trust Him, do we trust His word? not just intellectually, but do we really live like that? in want or plenty, in sorrow or joy, do we cry Blessed be His name?

but He said to me, "My Grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
2 cor 12:9

do we know, believe and live, that He is enough? that He is adequate...

and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.
romans 8:28

when I lay these questions before God I get no answer. but a rather special sort of "no answer." it is not the locked door. it is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate gaze. as though He shook His head not in refusal but in waving the question. like, "Peace, child, you don't understand."
cs lewis "a grief observed"

grace and truth

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 01:04:00 -0500

father... i can't do it! i'm incapable and inadequate. i need you. oh, how i need you. i'm pleading that you grow me in grace, mercy, and compassion.

i know truth, i know you are truth and the words you speak are true. but how do i walk in grace and truth.

teach me to breath grace!

you have me, you know that i love you. give me the wisdom that John possessed.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only,who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
John 1:14

For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.
John 1:17

oh sweet Erosion, break me and make me whole...

hopes, prayers, and reflections

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Tue, 9 Oct 2007 23:07:00 -0500

marrying a woman of God; a co-laborer, companion, and compliment
a woman who'd allow me to serve, love, cherish, nourish, and lead her
who loves God with every fiber of her being, and loves people.
she sees children as a blessing, and desires to love and disciple them.
who mentors other women.
whose heart breaks for widows and orphans.
who's always ready to cloth the naked and feed the hungry.
who desires a husband to provide and sacrifice for her and her family.
whose home is open to those in need.
who desires to live a daily adventure in desperate dependence on our God and King.

being a Man of God; a husband, father, and pastor

being an example for others to follow. that my life would be a testament to His mercy, grace, and love.

having as many children as God would provide. cultivating and discipling them into men and women of God.

planting (or replanting) and pastoring a church in southern california
serving, loving, teaching, leading, and discipling a body

stewarding all the resources He's provided me to His glory and renown.

being dust and watching Him work mightily through, and despite me.

living a life worth living. not just existing but thriving. with a purpose, on purpose.

keeping fixed and focused on the Blesser over the blessing
putting flesh to Christ's love
running with perseverance the race marked out for me

worship Q and A :: James Humphries

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Mon, 8 Oct 2007 10:48:00 -0500

worship Q and A :: James Humphries

drew tufano sits down with james humphries for a little worship Q and A.

http://odeo.com/audio/17069693/view

Q and A :: Drew Tufano

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Mon, 1 Oct 2007 19:15:00 -0500

Q and A :: Drew Tufano

james humphries sits down with drew tufano for a little Q and A.

http://odeo.com/audio/17069213/view

undeserved

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 21:56:00 -0500

"I just can't forgive Pam's adultery," Rick said. "She says she's sorry and she's begged for forgiveness, but I can't forget what she did. Its like a huge wall between us, and I can't get though it."

"So you think divorce is the answer?" I asked.
"I don't know what else to do! I told her that I forgive her, but I just can't be close to her again. She's depressed and has withdrawn even further from me. I'm afraid she's going to look for intimacy with someone else again. We're both in agony, and it seems like we'd be better off divorced."

I could see the weariness in his face. "I'm sure both of you are in terrible pain, Rick. But I don't think divorce is going to end it. You'll just trade one kind of pain for another. There is a way to keep your marriage together and to truly put the past behind you. But you won't find in with the empty forgiveness you've offered Pam."

"what do you mean,'empty forgiveness'?"
"Rick, imagine that you had just confessed a serious sin to God, and for the first time in your life He spoke to you audibly: 'I forgive you, Rick, but I can't ever be close to you again.' How would you feel?"

After an awkward pause, he replied, "I guess I'd feel like God hadn't really forgiven me."
"But isn't that exactly the way you are forgiving Pam?" I asked.
Rick looked at the floor, wrestling for an answer.
In a softer voice, I continued, "Imagine instead that God said., 'Rick I forgive you. I promise never to think about your sin again, or to dwell on it or brood over it. I promise not to talk to others about it. And I promise not to let this sin stand between us or hinder our relationship.'"
After a long silence, tears began to fill Rick's eyes. "I would know I was completely forgiven... But I wouldn't deserve that kind of forgiveness after the way I've treated Pam."
"Would you ever deserve it?" I asked. "God's forgiveness is a free gift purchased for you by Jesus' death on the cross. He doesn't forgive you because you've earned it. He forgives you because He loves you. When you truly understand how precious and undeserved His forgiveness is, you will want to forgive Pam the same way He has forgiven you."

"I know I should, but how could I ever keep those promises? I can't imagine forgetting what Pam did! And i just don't feel like I could ever be close to her again."
"Hold on, Rick. Where in the Bible does it say that forgiveness is forgetting? Or that it depends on feelings? Forgiveness is a choice, a decision you make by God's grace in spite of your feelings. Of course it's hard, especially in a case like this. But if you ask for God's help as you make those promises to Pam, He will give you the grace to follow through on them."

(pg 201) "the peacemaker," ken sande

leave your gift there in front of the altar. first go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.
matthew 5:24 (niv)

so watch yourselves. "if your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'i repent,' forgive him."
luke 17:3-4 (niv)

and when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
mark 11:25 (niv)

be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in
Christ God forgave you.
ephesians 4:32 (niv)

[Love] keeps no record of wrongs...
1 cor 13:5 (niv)

worth dying for

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 16:47:00 -0500

Your worth does not come from your body, your mind, your work, what you produce, what you put out. How much money you make. Your worth does not come from whether you have a man. Your worth does not come from whether or not men notice you. You have inestimable worth that comes from your Creator.

You will continue to be tempted in a thousand different ways not to believe this. The temptation will be to go on searching for your worth and validity from places other than your Creator; especially from men.

You are worth dying for...

pg 124 "Sex. God.", Rob Bell

we love because He first loved us.
1 john 4:19

husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.
ephesians 5:25

greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
john 15:13

thank you

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Sun, 9 Sep 2007 23:52:00 -0500

Why in the world did you come after me?
Thank you, thank you
Words aren't enough, but for now I can say
Thank you, thank you
...
I can't understand a love of this kind

"Thank You," Sanctus Real

these words took on new depth in my life recently. father, may i learn to love, as you love me. to know my love is inadequate, and that i can only love from the overflow of your love for me.

Love is Patient
Love is Kind
Love does not Envy
Love does not Delight in Evil
Love is not Arrogant
Love is not Proud
Love is not Rude
Love is not Self Seeking
Love is not Easily Angered
Love always Protects
Love always Trusts
Love always Hopes
Love always Perseveres
Love Keeps No Record of Wrongs
Love Rejoices with the Truth

LOVE
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

our failures

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Sat, 1 Sep 2007 18:44:00 -0500

i've been re-reading Josh Harris's book "boy meets girl" today, and God weighted heavy these words on my heart, and tears fell as I read them...

"Ladies, despite what you may have experienced at the hands of your earthly father, know that this is the heart of your heavenly Father for you. You were never meant to be unprotected. I'm sorry that many of you have never had a Christian father like this to care for you. I'm sorry that negligence on the part of men has left you vulnerable to mistreatment and abuse. I'm sorry that you've had to assume masculine traits necessary to fight for yourself and be your own protector.

That isn't God's plan - it's the consequence of our sin and disobedience. Jesus came to reverse the effects of sin. Part of the reason He's given us the local church is to give fathers to the fatherless. God has given us the local church to be the spiritual family that can fill in where our natural family is lacking."
(page 132)

will we be the men God has called us to be?

trust issues

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 04:42:00 -0500

so i've been reading through two books as of late; "the peacemaker" by ken sande and "when people are big and God is small" by edward t welch. God has used both of them to remind me of an area He's been growing me in lately; trust.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 cor 13:4-7

I've come to realize and be convicted that I don't "always trust," and the impact it has on my relationship with others as well as my God and King. When I don't trust others as His mandate, I'm actually not trusting Him. To always trust others, is trust Him totally and completely. Coming to this understanding is heart-breaking, do I really not trust Him entirely, and with everything...

Father, heal my broken heart that fails to trust you completely. Route out the deep dark places and expose them in your light of truth. May you teach me to trust you in everything, to lay all my worries at your feet.

The hardest part of these revelations is the practical implications in my day to day life. I'm struggling through what it looks like to "always trust."

He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.
micah 6:8 (niv)

afriad of failure

feedback@thriv3.org (Drew Tufano) — Sun, 8 Jul 2007 18:09:00 -0500

for so long i've been terrified of failure. father, how many times must i fail, how many attempts before success... will it always be this way?
would you have me run after you only to be broken and disappointed?
would you have me mocked and ridiculed?

would you have me run this race alone...

i've known disappointment so well, i began expecting failure. and when your eyes lose focus on Him, and instead become anxious, you no longer hear the voice whispering... i'm worth any cost, nothing will ever compare.

you give the lies credibility, you justify inaction, you give up the fight.

for 3 years i turned my back on the bride, i wanted nothing to do with her. father, how can this be your bride? selfish, dishonest, and hateful. how can she ever bring light to a dark world?

and for 3 years He revealed, and exposed. you are selfish, you are dishonest, you are hateful, and I LOVE YOU! I came, the righteous for the unrighteous, the spotless for the soiled. I paid the debt you could never pay, I bore the punishment you deserved. I conquered death, so that you may live! Now Live as I lived, Die as I died, and Love as I loved.

what i saw as failure, He saw as discipline... what i saw as broken, He saw as refining... and when I was mocked and ridiculed for His name, He was carrying me.

may He be made more as I am made less, in my success or failure... blessed be His name!!!

1 Timothy 6:11-16 (NIV)
But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. In the sight of God, who gives life to everything, and of Christ Jesus, who while testifying before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, I charge you to keep this command without spot or blame until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, which God will bring about in his own time—God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see. To Him be honor and might forever. Amen.