The Managing Mama

Make a list...

2012-07-24T06:39:00.000-07:00

The last two weeks have been full with driver's ed, football camp, cheer practice, doctor's appointments ect.....most days I feel like I'm running in circles.

What I have found has helped me lately are "to do lists". I know this may sound trivial; but really, how many things do we forget to do especially when we are really busy? What I did was make a "master to do list" (something that covers a longer period of time). For instance I made a "Summer To Do List" that included everything that I wanted to get done this summer. This list included repairs, painting, organization, ect. that I wanted to get done before school started back. Then, every Monday, I make my weekly "to do list" of what I want to get accomplished before the next Monday. This list usually includes making appointments, buying things for the house, ordering supplies for the business, and so on. Each morning, I jot down a few things from my other 2 lists and other things I want to get done that day like phone calls that need to be made, prescriptions that need to be picked up, uniforms that need to be washed.....I find a little organization gives me a method to the madness I wake up to each day :)

A few of my favorite products right now....

2012-07-16T13:36:00.001-07:00

International Delight, French vanilla, sugar free coffee creamer
Fiber One, 90 Calorie Chocolate Brownies
Hellman's Salad Spritzer, Balsamic Vinaigrette
Neutrogena grapefruit face wash
Bath and Body Works Apple Daffodil Body Lotion

Mom going back to school....

2012-07-14T07:25:00.000-07:00

Making the decision to go back to college was probably the hardest I’ve ever had to make. Several factors played a role in my difficulty. The largest though, was that I am the mother of three—ages fourteen, twelve, and six at the time. I also actively participated in the operation of my husband’s company. Although, most of my work was done from home, taking care of my children and my home were my priority.

I had thought about going back to school several times over the previous years, but the time just never seemed right. It seemed every time I’d start looking at schools, I’d find out I was pregnant; so, the cons always seemed to outweigh the pros and I’d leave the idea on the table. I had made the decision to be a stay at home mom and I felt that I had to follow through with that decision.

Even though I loved being at home with my kids, I still had this sensation inside me that wanted more. All of my children were finally in school and keeping up my home and taking care of the accounting for our company kept me very busy, but still I longed to feel a sense of personal achievement. Then the guilt of leaving the home would set in and I’d push the feelings back, continuing with my routine.

Eventually I brought my feelings to my husband and to my surprise, he was supportive. He thought I should go for it. I brought up that going to school would take up a lot of my time and that he and the kids would have to chip in around the house. I informed him there would be many evening hours that I would have to spend studying and if I was going to do this, I was going to take it seriously. He expected nothing less and explained we would all do whatever it took. Then he asked me, “Who are you trying to convince?" He was right. I wasn’t sure if I had it in me. I was nervous and scared, yet I was also happy and excited.

I had always had an interest in the medical field and when I began researching possible study programs, I decided on nursing. I applied at a local school and when I got my acceptance, I scheduled an appointment with an advisor. To my dismay, the first question she asked me was, “Are you sure you want to do this?” What kind of question was that? Of course I want to do this, don’t I? She explained that this program was very competitive and even though I had been accepted into the college, acceptance into the nursing program was based on a points system. She pointed out that there were 600 pre-nursing students and roughly 80 spaces available and those 80 have to have the highest amount of points. Points were awarded for grades received from pre-requisites in sciences and math. The fear set in. I hadn’t been in school in years, and now I’m expected to get A’s in these courses just to be competitive. And a lot of my competitors are students straight out of high school whose experience in these subjects is a lot more recent than mine.

I took all of her information in, and then I got a little angry. This lady didn’t know me. She had no idea of what I was capable of. I can do this! So, I registered for classes for the following spring—medical terminology, anatomy and physiology, and college algebra. I know, right?

On the first day of classes, I dropped the kids off at school and headed to campus. I got to the parking lot about an hour before my first class. I sat in my car and gave myself a pep talk. I can do this, I can do this. When I walked into the empty classroom, I took a seat right up front. Students started rolling in, the majority of them young girls that I could picture one of my sons dating. What am I doing? My anxiety started to peak—deep breaths. The instructor came in, we looked about the same age—more deep breaths. She began the class by instructing us to introduce ourselves by telling our name, a little about ourselves, and why we were pursuing a career in nursing. When the introductions got to my row, the young blond next to me introduced herself, “My name is Amber. I graduated from high school last year and I have wanted to be a nurse since I was a kid.” I giggled, she still was a kid. Ok, it was my turn. “Hi, my name is Alaina. I am old enough to be Amber’s mom and I have always had an interest in the medical field.” The class and my instructor, Mrs. Smith, laughed and she said, “me too.”

I jumped right in to my studies, spent break times in my books, and joined any skills group I could find. Anatomy was a tough subject and much of the information I knew nothing about. I found each lecture fascinating, and yearned for more. I didn’t want to take too much time from my family, so at home, I’d wait until late at night and then I spent most of my evenings reviewing key terms, memorizing diagrams of the body systems, and calculating formulas. Before exams, I took flash cards and my books with me everywhere I went. Waiting to see the pediatrician, I was studying. On game nights, I cheered my kid’s basketball teams on with my notebook in my lap. Eating dinner at a restaurant, I was flipping through flash cards. Waiting in line to pick up my daughter from school, I reviewed lecture notes.

My first semester ended with a 4.0, and when I received the letter from the Dean informing me that I had made the President’s List, I was ecstatic. I posted it on the fridge alongside the A my son received on a test. Now trust me, this wasn’t easy. My families support was a huge factor in my first semester success. They tolerated my constant medical discussions, paper writing, and non-stop reciting of medical terms. There were many make-your-own dinner nights and many evenings of mom falling asleep on the couch out of exhaustion. But they never complained.

Now, two years later, I’m still a college student and will be for a while longer because I have broadened by horizon. I plan to continue my education and pursue becoming a Diabetes Educator. Fortunately, I’ve learned a lot on the way and I’ve adjusted a little more. Life is still a balancing act, but I’ve found stability with my family life and my education. I have a great family and a great system. I’ve learned to be realistic with my expectations and have gained a renewed sense of self-confidence. I will do this.

By: Alaina Dean via Divine Caroline

Don't Blink

2012-07-13T07:14:00.000-07:00

When did my baby boy turn into a six foot two inch man-look-a-like? Where has the past eighteen years gone? It seems like it was just last week that he was taking his first steps, now he's making plans for graduation. It seems like it was just yesterday that he was holding on to my leg, begging me not to leave him at preschool, now he's going to college in the fall. I remember holding him and kissing his fat little cheeks. Now, I have to look up to him when I tell him to clean his room.

I was just twenty-one when I had him--a kid my self. Looking back, I had no idea what I was doing. All I knew is that I wanted to be the perfect mommy. I joke that he was my practice child and that my other two children are lucky I got some experience before they were born. Truthfully, we grew up together.

The hardest day was the day he pulled out of of my driveway for the first time on his own. I watched through the window as he backed out of the driveway, and then came the sobs. Where's the rewind button? Tears fill my eyes as I write this. I play out all the terrible things that can happen to him out in the world and I'm not there to protect him. Did I remind him to wear his seat belt? Of course I did, probably a hundred times.

I used to think I had so much to worry about when he was little. What he ate, what he watched on T.V.,if he brushed his teeth. But at least back then I had control. Now, I have no idea what he's doing or who he's hanging out with most of the time. For all I know he could be doing drugs or having sex, or both at the same time. Oh the anxiety!

Then I start to question my parenting. Did I do everything right? Of course not, but I honestly tried. We had the drug talk. We had the sex talk. I tried to instill morals and values. I tried to set an example. I guess I didn't do too bad. He's kind and genuine. He's smart and funny. And I guess his dad had a little to do with this too. Now I'm smiling.

He's a good kid. Now of course, he's a typical teen age boy. He forgets to call when he's supposed to, his room is a disaster, he's late on occasion....the list goes on and on. But what I do know is that everyone that comes in contact with him tells me how respectable and helpful he is. He is a fine young man they say. I smile with pride.

I know I can't always be there for him, I can't fight his battles or solve all of his problems. I have to trust that his father and I have prepared him to make good choices and avoid situations that can get him in to trouble. So, I've learned to stand back and let him find his way and be here, open,ready, and waiting if he ever needs my advice.

By: Alaina Dean via Divine Caroline

Lend a hand to victims of domestic violence....

2012-07-12T12:22:00.000-07:00

One out of three women worldwide will be physically, sexually, or otherwise abused during her lifetime with rates as high as 70% in some countries, says WomenThrive.org. Threats of physical or sexual abuse are also a form of intimate partner abuse. Often cruelty begins with emotional manipulation and escalates to physical or sexual abuse. Unfortunately, many women stay in abusive relationships out of fear of not being able to make it on their own. This is because many abused women do not work and have little access to the finances.

Women in this situation often have nowhere to turn. Organizations like Family Abuse Services of Alamance County strive to erase domestic violence through advocacy, shelter, education, and support and many are funded solely by the state. This under-funding keeps shelters from being able to afford personal necessities for women and their children.

In November of last year I led a care package drive where our community collected toiletries like shampoos, deodorant, and other personal care items for women who were living in the organization’s shelter, appropriately named “Our Sister’s House”. We also collected books, art supplies, and toys for their children. We also held other drives where we collected household supplies, magazines, and clothing for the shelter in addition to a toy drive for the children at Christmas.

Many women have to leave a violent situation without much preparation, little or no money-- basically with as little as what they are wearing on their backs. These care packages help give the women personal care items they need and also gives children activities to help take their mind off the frightening situation. The items for the shelter also saved the organization money and afforded them the opportunity to use that money in other ways and hopefully help more women and children. The toy drive offered the mother’s the opportunity to provide gifts during the holidays for their children that they otherwise would not have gotten.

Domestic violence takes many different forms; however, control through fear and intimidation is usually the goal of the abuser. Our goal should be to help prevent this violence. Numerous organizations offer programs to help stop violence and it should be the priority of our communities to back them through volunteering and support.By: Alaina Dean via Diving Caroline

Save time with meal planning...

2012-07-11T15:58:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but most days I find there are not enough hours to accomplish everything I need to do in any given day. I noticed many times after juggling all the priorities I was exhausted; and at the end of the day, the last thing I wanted to do was cook dinner. This led to eating out, ordering in, or preparing quick, unhealthy meals.

What my problem was... I dreaded grocery shopping! The process seemed to take up so much of my time when I already had very little to spare. Instead of planning and purchasing what I would need for the week, I'd run in and pick up the priorities like milk, bread, and cereal and a few things to make a few dinners. Then when I'd go to prepare the meal, I'd find that I had forgotten a key ingredient or didn't have something good to go with it. This resulted in a repeat visit to the grocery store or dinner out.

After many frustrating evenings and a look at how much our family was spending on eating out, I decided that I needed to make a change. I figured that if I planned out my meals for the entire week, made a detailed list of what I needed to purchase (and stick to the list) that I would save some time by not having to make several trips a week to the store and save money by reducing the amount of times we ate out.

There are many meal planning sites online, but the one I found very easy to use is on MealsMatter.org. Good Luck!

The truth about diet pills.....

2012-07-11T07:18:00.000-07:00

Many dieters may be tricked into believing that there is a magic weight loss pill that will help them lose weight without changing their diet or exercise plan. Although there are many supplements that can assist a dieter in reaching their goal weight, dieters will not be able to lose the weight in a healthy way and keep it off without changing the way that they eat or exercise.

There are many myths about weight loss aids; the largest I believe, is an individual does not need to diet or exercise if they are taking a weight loss supplement. In reality, an individual must also learn how to eat healthy and must begin physical activity in order to be on their way to a realistic weight loss goal.

Because many American’s are overweight, the use of diet aids is a growing trend. People weigh more than they did in the past. Obesity is a huge problem in the U.S. Two out of three adults are overweight, which is 50% higher than forty years ago, says Harvard’s Men’s Watch. Also, there is more to being overweight than just physical appearance. There are many complications associated with being overweight like type 2 diabetes, hypertension, and heart disease; and, obesity sadly accounts for 1 in 10 American deaths.

The only way to reduce these health risks and to lose weight is by eating a healthy diet and burning more calories than consumed. The average American weighs more now because there is less physical activity in their day to day lives. This has occurred because people’s jobs are less physical, more people spend their free time watching television, and people eat more. In a nutshell, people weigh more today because they move less.

Once people get tired of being overweight, instead of working out or reducing caloric intake, many people attract to diet pills and other weight loss aids. Although, there are many weight loss aid manufactures that say their consumers will lose weight, there is not sufficient evidence to support their claim for a quick, easy, long-term solution. Also, just because a diet supplement is on a store’s shelf, does not mean that it is safe.

Although some diet aids may assist by curbing appetites or by helping speed up metabolism, realistic weight loss cannot be achieved without diet and exercise. Mayo Clinic staff says that the best way to lose weight is through diet and exercise and they recommend 150 minutes of exercise a week. In addition, if an individual has serious health problems, their physician may recommend surgery or medication. Prescription diet pills and/or surgery can assist in weight loss, but only when combined with diet and physical activity to maintain the weight reduction.

Changing your diet is probably the foundation of weight loss. Ways to change your diet include eating fewer calories and adding more water and fiber. Every system of the body relies on water and so adding eight, 8 ounce glasses of water a day to your diet is not only good for your body, but it also helps you feel full longer. Water is also in many fruits and vegetables and they also tend to be low in calories. For instance, a serving of grape fruit is made up of about 90% water and only has thirty-nine calories. Foods high in fiber also take longer to digest and make an individual feel full longer. Many foods high in fiber are also lower in calories, says Mayo Clinic Staff.

Changing your diet will help you lose weight and make you feel better. The Center of Disease Control says that a weight loss of 5% of your total body weight can have great health benefits by reducing your risks for type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and other diseases. Individuals, who lose 1-2 pounds per week by reducing their calorie intake by 500-1000 calories a day in addition to adding physical activity, are more successful at maintaining their weight loss than those who choose to use diet aids alone.

Ultimately, diet pills, supplements, and other aids may assist an individual with curbing their appetite, speeding up their metabolism, or by blocking fat; however, an individual’s weight loss goal cannot be reached and maintained without changing their lifestyle. The most successful way to lose weight is to set a realistic goal, develop a healthy diet plan, and cultivate a habit of exercise. When an individual is active, their body uses calories and burns fat. Basically, diet pills and other aids are not the best way to achieve your weight loss goals and should only be used in conjunction with a proper diet and fitness program. The best way to lose weight is to move more and eat less.

By: Alaina Dean via Divine Caroline

Turn up the Volume

2012-07-09T14:39:00.000-07:00

Turn up the Volume

Its easy to lose ourselves underneath the piles of responsibility. Its even easier to forget who we are. I used to be young and free; I used to be independent and confident; I used to be me. I used to have dreams, aspirations, talents, and a name. Now, I was his wife and their mom.....and who was to blame? Somewhere along this road my voice had been muted; but, there came a day I decided to turn up the volume.

I love my husband and I am glad he is the man I married. I always wanted to be a mom and I have been gifted three amazing children.....each different in their own way. I had all of this and I wanted more? Yes. I felt lost below it all.

My husband owns a successful business, my children have countless activities and their successes were my focus. My job was to assist, prepare, drive, and schedule. I was a maid, a cook, a chauffeur, a secretary, a tutor--and held many more titles than that. I struggled for months trying to find a place in my life that was all my own. I wasn’t trying to be selfish, I was just trying to find out where I went. Looking from the outside in, one would think I had it all. But I knew something was missing and it was me.

I began with making time for me. I soon realized my husband was capable of handling things for a few hours, even a few days. I had friends who were in similar situations, so I planned a girls trip. This break made a world of difference. It was an opportunity to have a great time with girlfriends and know that things were taken care of at home. Little breaks like this made me a better wife, a better mother.

My next step was to get involved. I chose a cause that was close to me and began volunteering. I started my own small business and even went back to school. And guess what? It works. There are obstacles that cause doubt, but someway things always seem to work out. I think the busier we are, the more we can accomplish.

I know my choices may not be right for everyone, but they have been for me. I knew that if I didn’t change, nothing would change. I didn’t want to settle for that. I’m still his wife and their mother and wouldn‘t change that for the world, but its nice to hear, Oh, you must be Alaina’s husband, or son, or daughter, once in a while.

By: Alaina Dean Via Divine Carolina

A little about me.....

2012-07-09T14:29:00.000-07:00

Always on my "to do list"

reading
writing
grocery shopping
laundry
cleaning

iPhone
nook
lip gloss