Managing with Aloha Coaching

“Ah, there you are” said the halo

2008-05-13T19:40:06-10:00

A Fiver on humility:

Be aware that a halo has to fall only a few inches to be a noose.
—Dan McKinnon

Always remember there are two types of people in this world.
Those who come into a room and say, “Well, here I am!”
And those who come in and say, “Ah, there you are!”
—Frederick L. Collins

day 347:light on Flickr by estherase

Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this: that you are dreadfully like other people.
—James Russell Lowell

Humility is like underwear—essential, but indecent if it shows.
—Helen Nielson

Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.
—Golda Meir

And I love that the women are the ones with a sense of humor (though Golda Meir may have been dead serious)!

Do you have a favorite Ha‘aha‘a quote to share with us?

Looking to the Source of our Hawaiian Values

2008-05-11T00:15:00-10:00

MY MANA‘O ~ ~ ~

If you are new to MWAC, Sunday Mālama is when we mix it up here. I may offer an extreme tangent to our current value of the month (for April: Mellow Maintenance Mālama), or write about something completely different.

My very first Sunday Mālama was this one: A Beginning and this click gives you the full index to page through.

I call Sunday Mālama my mana‘o meaning that it shares a deeper view of my thoughts, beliefs, and convictions with you, my Ho‘ohana Community.

Thus, Sunday Mālama is also an invitation to share your mana‘o if you wish to.

A question arrived in my email yesterday morning, for which a short answer just wasn’t possible, for it is a question of Nānā i ke kumu, itself a value, meaning “look to the source.”

I am also very aware that I do not have a great answer for this question, and certainly not a complete one. Yet I am going to try my best here, for I think the query makes for good Sunday Mālama reflection for us, and I could use your help!

The question sent also could not have been asked of me at a better time, for as I am reminded of by this month’s value, Ha‘aha‘a, it is a question I must be very humble about answering. It is a question which makes me feel somewhat small and unworthy, and presumptuous even in my trying. The answer is one I can easily think about, and there are answers I believe to be true, but I cannot say they are answers I would claim to know.

The question was from a gentleman who does not live in Hawai‘i, who is making his way through the reading of my book, Managing with Aloha. Michael wrote,

“Rosa, can you tell me anything about the history of how Hawaiian values developed?”

Oh my. Could there be a bigger question?

I was born and raised in Hawai‘i, and have lived here my entire life save for just short of two of my teenage years in the Philippine islands. Ironically that puts me at somewhat of a disadvantage, for I have been immersed in local values from as far back as my memory goes, and in many ways must work with diligent focus to be scholarly or historically correct with them: Local living in Hawai‘i is not necessarily Hawaiian.

When people ask for such references, that is, the scholarly or historically correct ones, I will normally point them to Dr. George Kanahele’s book Kū Kanaka, Stand Tall. Yet even Dr. Kanahele was careful to add his humble subtitle, A Search for Hawaiian Values.

Many in Hawai‘i today, me included, will tell you that we may still be searching.

I was one who started my own ‘better informed search’ with Dr. Kanahele four decades ago, and living within the shifts of more recent years has been utterly fascinating —and the subject of a good number of debates.

I think of values as universal and as timeless as principles, virtues, and planetary laws; it is unimaginable to me that anyone but the Lord God Himself could claim authorship of these things. To say that values are Hawaiian, or European, or Asian, or of any other ethnicity, is just to say that we have shaped their interpretation with our place-connected contexts and ancestrally shared beliefs. Therefore, in answering Michael’s question, the best I can hope to do, is share what I believe have been strong influences in the shaping of the values that we call “Hawaiian” today. (Another tidbit: ‘Hawaiian’ is a western word, and not one of the ancient language.)

To be most accurate, it would be best to divide our answer in certain time periods, for the Hawai‘i of old before Captain Cook arrived is quite remarkably different from the Hawai‘i of today, and different from plantation Hawai‘i prior to World War II and our Statehood in 1959. (A good timeline-in-brief can be seen here.) However I am not using a chronological time-line to keep this as an article, and not an entire white paper or book draft!

So I will list a few things as I would first tend to include them (i.e. as I have been taught and have learned), and perhaps those of you reading who are also of our Hawai‘i nei could help me and add your feelings as well? Let us think of this as an essay of exploration in progress!

Finding 8: Coincidence or Makawalu Opportunity?

There is another reason Michael’s question seemed to be so opportune: This past Thursday and Friday I attended a tourism conference on O‘ahu sponsored by the Native Hawaiian Hospitality Association (NaHHA) called Hō ‘ā ka Lamakū, Keep the Torch Burning.

NaHHA was founded in 1997 by Dr. George Kanahele, PhD, and Kenneth Brown, a renowned leader in Hawai‘i business and health systems, formerly state senator and chair of the Queen’s Health Systems. As native Hawaiians, both these gentlemen had serious concerns about the direction of tourism and its impact on our local communities. In particular, they were concerned about the misuse and lack of respect for Hawaiian culture, values, and traditions. NaHHA’s mission to protect and perpetuate these assets today is accomplished through consultation and training, developing and implementing effective communication tools, conducting research, and providing project support.

My plan this weekend was to debrief with some of the learning I was able to gain at the conference, and this has been a wonderful way to begin doing so. To my past learning from Dr. Kanahele and others, I add some very current wisdom shared at the conference by Kumu Tommy Kaulukukui, Kumu Ramsay Taum, Kumu Peter Kamamo Apo, Dr. Pualani Kanaka‘ole Kanahele, professional photographer Dewitt Jones, Andrew Te Whaiti, James Koshiba of Kanu Hawai‘i and others. The conference was one of intensive learning, and our Sunday Mālama today turned out to be an unexpected opportunity to seize my Kuleana (responsibility) with teaching what I continue to learn.

Makawalu is a new Hawaiian word for me, just learned on Friday: Maka is the word for eyes, and walu is eight, thus makawalu means to look for eight ways or facets of thinking. It stems from a belief that our intelligence is infinite: For each of the eight perspectives one might come up with, another eight will be possible (making 64), and on, and on, and on to infinite possibility.

When I had written my first draft for this, it my list of first thoughts came to walu, eight, not by design, but just by arrival of thinking... just as the voyagers who first came to Hawai‘i would initially give us names for eight of her largest islands...

March 2008 image of the incoming tide in Hawai‘i by Taiger808

The Effect of Voyaging and of Isolation

Kumu Ramsay Taum has a wonderful presentation involving the legend of the demi-god Maui, in which he explains how Hawai‘i’s culture prior to the arrival of Captain James Cook in 1778 developed as a result of voyaging and migration, and then settlement and survival in isolation. It can accurately be said that we who now call ourselves “native Hawaiians” and keiki o ka ‘āina (children of the land) have ancestors who were without exception visitors at one time, all arriving by canoe. The ancient Hawaiians were an extremely resourceful people; there is only so much you can bring with you across the open sea in a canoe! Certainly those earliest arrivals brought their values of another place and time with them. Some values live on, some are true mutations, others have disappeared altogether. This combination of voyaging and isolation is a fascinating one, for voyaging represents adventure, freedom and immensely promising possibility. I would venture to say that no Hawaiian ever felt the world was flat!

In his conference welcome, John De Fries, President of the NaHHA Board, shared his mana‘o that Captain Cook was not the first tourist to Hawai‘i; our ancestors were. Further, they believed they arrived at a place which though vacant of human life, was thriving and teeming with life forces that were meant to be blended with ours. His point was that we support tourism today not because it is the surviving option which displaced our once agrarian society, but because it is a welcoming and blending we have always done from our most humble beginnings: We have shared the Aloha within life.

We are Islanders, and not “Mainlanders”

When they decided to land, stay and settle however, those earliest voyagers did arrive at a chain of islands, and not at a continent or massive land mass: Today our values are very much shaped by what we refer to as an ‘island sensibility’ and an ‘island intelligence.’ In fact this may be one of our strongest value influences at present, for attend any social, civic, business or environmental issue discussion here —yes, any where the talk story becomes lengthy— and you will be sure to hear someone say with pained expression that we are no longer a self-sustaining culture, but one heavily relying on imports of all kinds for our continued survival. We have not been true to the ancient island intelligence that our resources are indeed limited and thus must be honored and cared for (Mālama) if they are to be perpetuated versus encroached upon and denuded.

As islanders, we articulate much about life within the metaphor and historical context of the ahupua‘a, the wedge-shaped land division that ran from the summits of our mountains down to the sea. By their geographical nature, our volcanic islands have given us a unique sense of place that is quite elemental in its connection. At the conference, Kumu Tommy Kaulukukui nā haumana (and his students) shared a way that we could each personally self-reflect, to identify with our mountains, valleys, rivers, ocean, winds, and the rain, explaining that our Kūpuna (elders and teachers) would likely say to us, “How can you know who you are if you do not know your place?”

Big and Universal, not Small or Self-Contained

I think an important distinction to keep in mind however, is that our ‘island thinking’ would never be described as small or self-contained. The concept of ‘āina, though literally and simply translated as land, is huge, and includes the ocean, and as far as your canoe can possibly take you. In her fascinating presentation, Dr. Pualani Kanaka‘ole Kanahele told us of how The Kumulipo, the genealogy composed for a newborn chief, but believed by many to tell the story of our creation (and composed a century before Charles Darwin was born) makes pointed reference to

Papahulihonua (all facets of the earth and of the oceans),
Papahulilani (all strata of the spaces above us, i.e. the heavens to all reaches of the universe, both horizontally and vertically) and
Papanuihanaumoku (all facets of birthing, origin and embryonic possibility).

Despite their isolation, our ancestors have always felt very connected to all possibility of life itself. It was within Auntie Pua’s presentation that I learned of makawalu:

“Culturally and metaphorically, ‘makawalu’ asserts that intelligence is infinite, and therefore, it belongs to no one person nor one school of thought, nor one generation. This establishes a very high standard for life-long learning and the active pursuit of knowledge, whether it’s in a formalized school, the natural environment, within our families or in business… [there is] an inward journey to a deeper understanding and respect for our existence on these islands and the inherent responsibilities and opportunities that come with it.”

Mythology, Religion and Spirituality

If not a physically apparent answer, Hawaiian society has always been quick to wholeheartedly accept a spiritual one: Ours is a culture founded in belief and respect for the sacred, and whereas the trappings of religion may fall away, our deeply held values continue to reflect this acceptance of divine power and immense respect for it. Religion was the central authority of early Hawaiian society, and in his book, Dr. Kanahele goes to great lengths to explain why apart from the keen reality Hawaiians felt about mythology, Hawai‘i could not have existed at all. Religion influenced virtually everything and every phase of each person’s individual and communal life. There were thousands of gods, and the Hawaiians said that man created the gods in his own image and not the other way around, not in superiority, but just so they could better articulate the character and functioning of their gods.

Two hundred years later, religion and its supporting institutions have long since been pushed aside by business, labor, science, education, technology— and one might argue it is so in nearly every other culture as well, not just ours. However while we may be willing to relinquish the religion of old—and largely have done so, we have not denied our spirituality, for it is the essence of our personal mana (divine power as human beings) and of aloha itself, our innate ability to live together in the way that our mana is shared and communally integrated. To the ancient Hawaiians, our American separation of church and state would have been considered absolutely absurd, and this remains a discomfort for many. We may not pray in our schools anymore with deference to our Statehood, but we pule (pray) everywhere else, whether with words, chants, song or mutually granted silence. Like many other places throughout America, there is a steady return to religion in the islands today, though of the Western and Asian theologies, and not of ancient Hawai‘i.

The Ghost of Inferiority

This is a sensitive subject, and if you only know Hawai‘i by reading my words it may totally surprise you. I trust in and defer to Dr. Kanahele’s book to explain it:

“Every Hawaiian has a built-in inferiority complex,” a well-educated, well-paid Hawaiian professional has said. “You can’t help but have it, because you come from a culture that’s ‘no good,’ and nothing in it is good. You have no solid foundation. So you flounder around and you can’t find a place for yourself. Everywhere you go, you get reminded of the fact that you are Hawaiian… that you’re lazy, that you don’t have a brain… There is this emptiness that exists for a Hawaiian.”

“Our search for values is also a search for renewed pride in our traditions, but this is unlikely to be realized unless the ghost of inferiority is fully exorcised… the Hawaiians before 1778 did not believe they were an inferior people. That alien notion came from the outside… it came in the Pandora’s box of the Westerners who followed in Captain Cook’s wake. Perhaps the beginnings lay not so much in the fact that Hawai‘i’s natives were inferior, but that the whites brought things that made them seem superior. In either event, the germ of the idea —more deadly to the soul of Hawaiians than any disease germ— was racism.”

Of important note here is that there has been a surrender to culture, and not just to governance. People in Hawai‘i continue to fight for a reclaiming of both, and the sovereignty movement is thought by many residents to be short-sighted and misdirected in that it is a minority movement primarily focused on governance, and a separation of people within the islands as well; these are not the true values of the Hawaiian culture claimed as wronged and lost.

Dr. Kanahele also quoted John Holt, who worrying over the conditions of today’s Hawaiians asked,

“Do we really know ourselves as Hawaiians, enjoy being Hawaiians, and strive to find places in which we can use our talents in all areas of present-day life as active, participating, productive, first-class citizens of the United States?”

[If you would like to ‘meet’ John Dominis Holt, I highly recommend this story shared by navigator Nainoa Thompson: Sacred Forests / Chapter 5 - Advice from a Kupuna.]

The Hawaiian Renaissance and Ethnic Melting Pot

Our answer to John Holt’s question in recent times has been what is referred to as a Hawaiian Renaissance, the generational movement of cultural rebirth since the 1970’s that I have been a part of, blessed in that it has coincided with my adult life. It is a renaissance where we have diligently sought to learn and celebrate all things Hawaiian in heritage in every way it is still possible to do so, hoping that our past heritage will more strongly influence our present culture. There has been a beautiful rebirth of tradition, arts and crafts, music and dance, and what can be referred to as artistic and innate island talent and expertise. Values weave throughout them all brilliantly, and especially exciting and energizing to me, they are values which connect the Hawai‘i of old and new brilliantly too.

Born within the time of this Renaissance, my own children and most of their generation are not saddled with the “ghost of inferiority.” The exorcism Dr. Kanahele called for has been successful in many of our communities (though not all), a direct result of what I would call breakthrough parenting and Baby Boomer indulgence. Also of significance, the last three generations are products of the ethnic melting pot of plentiful cultures we now have in the islands and refer to as “local” and wonderfully diverse. My children are Filipino, Spanish, Portuguese, Russian, Chinese, and English in ancestry, but just as I am, and as my parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents were, they are Native Hawaiian by birth and by true heritage and lived-within culture. Ethnic diversity is commonplace in Hawai‘i; we are all mixed breeds who take great pride in simply saying we are “of this place.” We revere our genealogy and know of our bloodlines, but not of the ethnic cultural practice of those bloodlines; we have only lived as the Hawaiians of our time.

Our Love-Hate Relationship with Tourism

There is a saying about commerce in the islands that business people will often lament is simply way too true for comfort: “When tourism catches a cold, we all get sick.” In brief, we love tourism for the revenue streams with which it feeds our local economy, and we hate it for the stress it places on our infrastructure: Current estimates are that there are 7 tourists here daily for every resident.

It is not that we feel overrun as much as we are conscious of how few the options with our earning potential where the cost of living in paradise is exceptionally high. The single biggest employer in Hawai‘i today is the U.S. military; as pervasive as it is for us, travel and tourism rank at number two. When you think about this, both would be considered foreign influences that cannot claim a full century’s worth of integration or resolution within Hawai‘i.

More dramatically, both have made a direct hit on the one value we consider the very rootstock of all our other values: The genuine desire to freely share our Aloha spirit with complete generosity. That viewpoint of consistency with our origins as shared by John De Fries (above in the section on the effect of voyaging and isolation), is not one widely accepted here; even as our most honored kūpuna insist on its truth, many will look away and mutter with a disrespect borne of sad resentments, saying it is just a pretty story by those who now wish to justify their existence.

Still, love it or hate it the fact remains; tourism drives the bus called our State economy by providing the fuel for our present-day standards of living. Indulgent beings of the 21st century that we are, they are standards we are not willing to give up in creating the simplest of new habits... like turning off the tap when we brush our teeth.

“We have no choice but to get along.”

This was something that James Koshiba said in his conference presentation, and it is a good summation of many other influences in our more recent history. (The last two links shared go to Kanu Hawaii, of which James is a founder. Kanu Hawaii is our GenX/Yers’ championing of a new Island Style Activism.) Much as Madame Pele continues to build our islands we are still mere dots in a very vast ocean, however we are no longer isolated: Air travel and U.S. military occupation has made Hawai‘i an international hub and gateway. We are no longer an agrarian, self-sufficient society as were the Hawaiians of old, and we no longer live on plantations. Technology has connected us virtually however we remain geographically remote.

Therefore, if you are a resident, and choose to live and work in Hawai‘i, the values which will equip you best —for our values drive our behavior— are those which help you be individually responsible and self-reliant while also the best team player, community volunteer, and global citizen you can be. We may struggle with this daily, especially as we feel the pressures of investment growth and density, however I believe we share the realization we must try to get along, even if we stubbornly will not say so out loud, fiercely proclaiming our desire to be independent.

Hawai‘i is relatively small, and relationally small, in that it is still a place where everyone seems to be somehow related within very few degrees of separation: Everyone seems to know everyone else. Our elders often admonish us to be careful with what we say (meaning we should never say a negative word), for we never know when we will unintentionally insult our listener’s family. Therefore,

Pono, rightness and balance,
Lōkahi, unity and harmony,
Kākou, the language of inclusiveness and togetherness, and
‘Ohana, family and community,

...are dominant values which have never been stronger. The up side to this is that we strive to work together better, hoping and expecting that we will end up living together better too (thus the very favorable reception I have been so fortunate to enjoy for Managing with Aloha).

It pains me to say so, but today, in the right now of this writing, we struggle most with the value of Aloha and genuinely wanting to give it freely. My own take on this, is that we are very fearful of the brutally ugly reality that our proud history of island self-sufficiency is something we will never, ever enjoy again. We are grappling with how to deal with that for accepting it is just too hard, and values like Ho‘okipa (hospitality) and Lokomaika‘i (generosity) are not as prevalent as they once were. The word you hear much more often is reciprocity, a concept which can confuse more than it can explain.

What would you add?

How would you answer Michael’s question on how history has shaped our values? Have you been taught more, or taught differently by your kūpuna (elders of our culture)? If so, I would love to hear from you, and invite you to share your mana‘o ka ‘ike (beliefs borne of learning), and any kaona (context, hidden storied meaning) you feel will give us relevancy and understanding.

Just one more thing…

You may have noticed that I have not referenced too much of Managing with Aloha up to now, though my own book is a packaging of nineteen Hawaiian values. It is a packaging for a certain context; management and the world of business, and not as a complete study of all Hawaiian values. More importantly, I will be the first to tell you that Managing with Aloha is what I believe to be true (thus my personal nānā i ke kumu) and what I believe to be most useful for the workplace versus a work of definitive truths of our local culture. If the history of Hawai‘i intrigues you, I encourage you to read Dr. George Kanahele’s book Kū Kanaka, Stand Tall, A Search for Hawaiian Values. Online, you can find good information at www.hawaiihistory.com, and at the website of the Polynesian Voyaging Society.

At their essence, values are what we choose to believe, in the way we choose to interpret and express those beliefs. The most universal value of them all is said to be love; however while I also favor the hope, optimism and promise of that statement, I would assert that our most universal value is our very right to choose whatever values we prefer to believe in and stake our humanity on.

I look forward to your sharing. I am eager to learn what you would add.

Mahalo nui loa, me ke aloha a me ka ha‘aha‘a,
With my gratitude, aloha in respect and utmost humility,
—Rosa

Photo Credits where not specified above:
Travel Poster from www.hawaiihistory.com, and Cellophane Hula Skirt photo by MikeNeilson on Flickr.

Mahalo, thank you for reading today, especially because this was so much longer than usual!

If you would like to read more about Aloha, you may enjoy Aloha in A Love Affair with Writing
Early in the article I had also made reference to this, an older Sunday Mālama essay written this past November: Believe, Think, or Know?
My most recent commentaries on my home state have been these: Civil Responsibility in 2008 for Hawai‘i and for you, and Working Beyond Their Means.

Humility in the Workplace

2008-05-08T00:15:00-10:00

Preface: This was an article I had originally written in September of 2006 for Lifehack.org. I have newly edited it for our value study this month on MWAC on Ha‘aha‘a, the Hawaiian value of Humility. Our Day One Essay kicking off the month was Ha‘aha‘a means Humility Laughing.

‘Humility’ is a widely understood word. It’s not one of those words people will pause to look up the meaning for. Generally, people love the thought of humility. It’s one of those ‘good’ values we strive for; one we admire. Yes, most people feel they know what it means to be humble.

Demonstrating it however, is a whole other matter.

For instance, a person distracted by their Blackberry or cell phone, unable to focus on the conversation you are having with them face to face, is so filled with self-importance, they cannot possibly claim to be humble. Humility is the lack of self-importance, is it not?

The person who impatiently shakes their head as you explain a new idea you are presenting to them, finally breaking in to say, “We’ve tried that here before, and it just doesn’t work,” cannot claim to be humble. Humility is being open-minded, and realizing that no matter how long you’ve been around, you couldn’t possibly have experienced everything there is to experience, right?

Then there’s the person who just got a promotion, and the first purchase order they write is for new business cards, despite the fact that the have a box left of the old ones with the same mailing address, email address, and phone numbers. Never mind that they mostly attach v-cards electronically these days, and that’s why the old box lasted so long.

In new product development, there’s a discussion going on about complaints customers have with existing products, and someone says, “Well, they wouldn’t have that problem if they followed the instructions in the first place.” That can’t possibly be humility, when we stop listening to what our customers are asking for, and assume they just don’t ‘get it,’ right?

If some of our common behaviors in workplaces are an indication, we don’t understand humility very much at all.

Those who are humble, feel the rest of us are pretty interesting. Those with humility have a genuine desire to discover what other people can offer. They are intrigued by how others think, and how others feel differently from them.

We can be confident, and we can be self-assured; humility does not call for us to be meek, or consider ourselves lower in stature. We do not require less of ourselves, and we take our role and our responsibilities seriously. However what humility does, is create a sort of receptacle of acceptance in us, so we are open to being filled with the knowledge and opinions of others. Humility is a kind of hunger for more abundance. The greater our humility, the greater our fascination with the world around us, and the more we learn.

To have inner drive, to want to be successful is a good thing. I do believe that part of humility is believing in those possibilities which presently may be larger than life for you.

However humility also speaks to the demeanor and attitude we must have as we seek our success, so that our inner drive and desires are in balance with our composure, and our conduct with those who interact with us. After all, they could factor into being a big part of the success we eventually will enjoy.

One of the best definitions I have ever heard for humility came from one of my employees when I was still in corporate management. Short and sweet, it’s one I have never forgotten. He was talking about a new supervisor we’d recently hired into the department, explaining how she listened to everyone on staff in such a great way. Like they mattered. Like everything they did and said mattered. He had said she seemed very humble to him because as she demonstrated it, “Humility is an act of courtesy.”

I like that.

We were not put on this earth alone. Frankly, others have to live with us, and our own practice of open-minded, fill-me-up humility can make it a much more interesting and pleasant experience for all of us.

Patty gave us a great example in her comment:

My office is full of hard-working people who run around like chickens with their heads cut off. They move frantically but effectively from one task to another. But given the pace, we sometimes mess things up. And, of course, it happens in a public way. The best part: the whole office comes together in support of that person, and, after the fact when the mistake is fixed (usually, in record time), we have a few good jokes at our staff meeting about it, and we all laugh together. It reminds us that we're human, and that our work is important but not at the expense and harm of good people.

Optimist that I am, I believe there are a ton more great examples of humility practiced every day in our workplaces. Will you tell us about one in yours too?

I am Confident in Being Me...

2008-05-06T00:15:00-10:00

...Even when I look like you.

Thank you for sharing that...

I am confident in being me and looking like you too.

Yes, this is quite nice.

Happy Ha‘aha‘a Humility :)

Photos found on Flickr by Roberto F. He called them “That’s love :)”

New MWAC White Paper: The Role of the Manager Reconstructed

2008-05-05T08:54:16-10:00

Aloha dear readers,

Making this available only here and just for you to say mahalo!

thank you so much for reading...
thank you for talking story with me here via your comments...
and thank you for subscribing to Managing with Aloha Coaching!

A new white paper for The Role of the Manager Reconstructed, downloadable as a free PDF you can print and share.

I have just newly edited it from the article I had previously written here about the Role of the Manager, to attach it as an addendum in the classes I do locally on the Managing with Aloha curriculum. Thought you might like to use it as a reference too, or as a discussion starter for your own workplace reconstruction the Managing with Aloha way :)

“This is your mission, and should you choose to accept it...”

Managing with Aloha is not a Mission Impossible at all! Highly do-able!

All I need is you... all WE need is you. Here is our WE: What I have learned from the People we collectively call “our employees”

I hope you join the movement to Reconstruct the Role of the Manager with me, for we Ho‘ohana together!
—Rosa

What can a Humble Wave do for you?

2008-05-04T00:15:00-10:00

MY MANA‘O ~ ~ ~

My very first Sunday Mālama was this one: A Beginning and this click gives you the full index to page through.

I call Sunday Mālama my mana‘o meaning that it shares a deeper view of my thoughts, beliefs, and convictions with you, my Ho‘ohana Community.

Thus, Sunday Mālama is also an invitation to share your mana‘o if you wish to.

It is amazing how a simple, humble wave of our hand in acknowledgment of another human being can make such a huge difference.

red earth V - self portrait by BotheredByBees on Flickr

I have turned into a waver ever since I worked at Hualalai Resort and we decided that waving would be part of our value culture. It started back in 1996 from the moment I was employed there (the resort was still under construction then), and the habit now feels like it is set in stone with me.

I wave at people I know, and people I don’t.

I wave at people the moment I sense I may catch their eye; I no longer look down or away.

I wave to trigger some magic connection to my face so I will smile within the same fraction of that moment I wave.

I wave to feel open, connected to hope, and expectant of our humanity.

I wave to feel safe. When I take my exercise runs and arrive at intersections, I don’t take another step forward unless I have waved to an approaching or stopped driver and am sure they have seen me. (They wave back, or at the very least will nod— good thing to teach your kids.)

When I travel, the culturally correct way to wave as a friendly and welcoming gesture is one of the first things I am careful to ask about, for there is simply no stopping my hands anymore, there is only the careful training of them.

Once, in asking that question, I had an older gentleman explain to me how to reach my hands out to animals in the right way, so I that I’d never get bitten, and so I would know if they’d allow me to pet them or not.

Good information to know.

Then: Waving and the value of Ho‘okipa

Though easy to gain entrance onto the resort, and one which includes a Four Seasons hotel, Hualalai is essentially a gated residential community of multi-million dollar homes. While I could work there and eventually became a corner-office exec there, it is highly unlikely that I will ever be able to afford living there.

Still, there was one thing I learned very quickly about the very rich. The biggest difference between them and we who feel like paupers in comparison, are not our bank accounts but the discretion we have with how we spend our time (though the argument can be made that the latter is a result of the former). In so many more ways we are quite the same, ways which are much more relevant to the way we interact with each other and share our lives.

At Hualalai we called everyone within our resort community part of the Hualalai ‘Ohana (family) and Ho‘okipa (hospitality) was a core organizational value for us. Therefore, once people were on the resort itself, and starting with their first sight of our greeter who manned the gate atop the hill, we wanted them to feel instantly acknowledged, totally welcomed, and warm with the feeling they belonged on the resort and had every right to be there.

We did it by waving.

The Hualalai entry drive which turns toward the Canoe Club
Found on Flickr by dawneday

Once you drove past the gate you descended into the resort taking in a spectacular view, both just outside your car window and as a vista far beyond you, and toward the distant ocean horizon. The speed limit was only 15 miles an hour, and the road meandered, but you slowed down because you wanted to versus because you had to; the beauty of the place made you want to look and take it all in. So as you drove along slowly, you passed walkers and runners, landscapers and the golf course crew, residents in golf carts or electric resort cars, all sorts of people.

Back then, everyone waved at you.

It would be no more than about 10 minutes, tops, yet by the time you arrived at where you would park your car or deliver it to a valet, the community would have trained you to wave back. We didn’t know your name yet, only that greeter at the gate had said aloha, and because of the wealth of different reasons possible, we couldn’t have even known why you had come and were there.

Still, you now belonged there.

Once you got out of your car and onto one of the pathways, the waving intensified, for there were so many more people around. People greeted you with a wave and a smile everywhere, every interaction. Frankly, it was pretty impossible not to wave back, and not to smile.

Now: Waving and the value of Ha‘aha‘a

Is it still like that at Hualalai today?

I hope so, however to be completely honest, I don’t know. Circumstances have kept me from visiting the resort for nearly two years now as I can last and best recall. So I don’t have the answer of first-hand knowledge anymore.

If they still wave at Hualalai is a question of something we talk about consistently here at Managing with Aloha Coaching: value alignment.

I haven’t been to Hualalai since the resort was sold to a new owner. What are their values now, as expected by their new organizational culture, and do their actions match up in alignment with those values? Do they still want to be an all-inclusive ‘Ohana as a community, or not? Is Ho‘okipa still valued, or not? Has the habit been reinforced day in and day out, or has it been allowed to fade away in favor of another? When new employees are brought on, is the talk story of waving still part of orientation as it once was, so they know why, what is expected of them, and what is to be perpetuated?

Value alignment is deliberate: You choose actions that match up to your values, you talk about them all the time, and you practice them consistently. You make them part of the culture, doing all you possibly can to make sure they stick.

I do see that these words still appear on their website:

Gentle hosts welcome all to their ‘ohana, family, with a heightened level of hospitality that is called ho‘okipa.

Welcome to Hualalai. In this serene paradise, the dream of Hawai‘i that everyone holds in their hearts is fulfilled.

All I can tell you for sure today, is that learning that humble wave changed my own life, because a habit was created in me that I chose not to break. I owe a lot to the ‘Ohana na Hualalai for making me a better person during those years I worked with them. They were so true to their values, and they made them so compelling and desirable, that those values became part of mine. If I already had those values in any measure whatsoever, they grew and were strengthened and fortified.

Today, and I am quite sure forever to come, I rather wave to people instead of looking down or turning away. I prefer to be open to the possibility that waving can trigger. I love the thought that waving, and then allowing your hand to train your face so your smile will surely and naturally follow, is a way to tell someone you are humble enough to know this:

Hi/Bye by Mareen Fischinger on Flickr

No matter how good I may feel about my own life at this very moment,
no matter how complete, whole and healthy I may feel,
I grant my trust that there is an equally good reason you live on this earth with me.

I am open to welcoming you into my life if you want to step into it.

It needn’t be a major production, or even a conversation;
you can just smile and wave back.
Easy, quick, and smile-triggering natural.
Then, we both belong,
as we share this moment, this place.

I still think of waving as connected to ‘Ohana, to Ho‘okipa, and to Aloha as the unconditional value of love and acceptance. However as time has gone by, and as my wave has become more personal versus organizationally expected, I now think of waving as strongly connected to Ha‘aha‘a and the value of humility, for I believe Ha‘aha‘a to be about being as open as it is possible to be, while being strong with the confidence that you are worthy enough, and capable enough of engaging well with another human being.

So try it with me, won’t you?

Let’s all practice Ha‘aha‘a by learning to be wavers this month of May. They say it takes 21 to 28 days to develop a habit, and today is the 4th of May: Shall we see what the next 27 days of waving can do for us?

We can start right now.

Here is my picture again, a bit bigger than usual: Imagine me waving at you, and smiling, and wave back!

With much aloha, and so happy you are here with me today,
~ Rosa

More of Sunday Malama... some of my favorites :)

The Open-Minded Contrarian

A Ma‘alahi Persuasion for Calm

Morning Pages, Artist Dates and Rhythm

Remembering a Simpler Language

Calvin’s Mamaki Tree

2008-05-02T00:15:00-10:00

I stood at the ocean’s edge with a large group of people. We had come together to say aloha and a hui hou (until we meet again) to a gentleman whose life had ended much too soon.

Those of us there had worked with Calvin at two different workplaces for a succession of four different owners. Throughout all that change, we were the same; we were his ‘ohana, adopted work family. I was among a smaller group within the whole who had not seen many of the others for several years, and many more never at all: Still, the new-to-me faces were as comfortable and family-familiar as the others I did know, for the days of Calvin’s life strung us together in lōkahi ke ‘ike, a harmony of shared knowing. Conversation flowed easily as we waited for the service to begin. Hugs were freely given, and voices joyful, with the ocean’s brisk breezes doing their part to keep us respectfully quiet in comparison to the sounds of her bigger majesty.

Mamaki is native to no other place in the world but Hawai‘i, and is best known for its refreshing herbal tea and medicinal uses. Leaves can be eaten raw or cooked, and the mamaki bark was used by the Hawaiians of old to make Kapa (cloth).
[Photo credit: “Forest & Kim Starr (USGS)” via Wikimedia Commons copyright free]

After his “real” family was introduced to us, Kahu Billy Mitchell started the talk story of our gathering by saying what we all seemed to know about Calvin; “I have to be honest here gang; Calvin could really irritate me. He was just too smart, and had an answer for everything.” We all smiled or chuckled with a memory of our own.

For me it was how Calvin would stop me on one of the pathways at Hualalai as he did his spraying, confident that whatever that moment, my being able to learn from him about his pesticides was crucially important and connected to every other order of important business I might have for the resort while wearing my VP’s suit. Somehow, Calvin always connected everything in his analogy to his plants. Somehow, he was always right.

There was more speaking, more memories shared, and then Max explained about a hundred seedlings he had brought for us to take home, one by anyone with space to plant them, for they would indeed become trees. He explained the difference between four different types, each for a different climate and elevation, each with a story of how the Hawaiians had used them and honored them. These were facts we were all certain Calvin would have known of too— and then some. It would be a legacy that Calvin would have wanted, to simply have trees that will continue to grow with his belief that they are good for us.

I was awestruck in that moment.

“To just have trees continue to grow.”

Legacy enough for a man who within all his justifiably proud knowledge had remained as humble as a man can get. Though man can sometimes help, trees grow because of God and because of Mother Nature, and because of the life stored within them. Ultimately that is what Calvin really knew, and he was fine with that. Calvin lived serving them all; God, Mother Nature, and that plant, and through them, all of us.

Calvin lived within a degree of humility that I may never be able to achieve. I know that about myself, and have to learn to be okay with the greater ego I have. I am every bit of that author who imagines her book will live forever in another bookstore, in a home-town library alcove, or at the very least in my great, great grandchildren’s attic, but hopefully in the heart of every reader that opens it.

I am quite sure that Calvin on the other hand, is perfectly fine with the legacy of trees growing because of God, because of Mother Nature, and not because of him. His name is not etched in each tree’s bark the way mine is embossed on each book’s cover. He may be looking down from the heavens feeling he could have lived longer quite happily among us, but not with an ounce of regret for any legacy not left behind.

This afternoon, I planted the mamaki tree seedling I brought home, perfect for the mountain elevation at which I live. It will grow tall, sure and strong, it will give back to me as Calvin knew, giving my family healthy mamaki tea, thriving in the beauty of its dark red veined leaves, and I will know that it is Calvin’s legacy. I will know.

~ Rosa

Humility is our value study for May. Read more about Ha‘aha‘a, the Hawaiian value of humility in my Day One Essay: Ha‘aha‘a means Humility Laughing.

Ha‘aha‘a means Humility Laughing

2008-05-01T00:19:00-10:00

Actually it doesn’t. Not exactly.

Ha‘aha‘a is indeed the Hawaiian value of humility, however the word alone does not mean humility laughing. That is my kaona about it.

The kaona of a word or phrase refers to the hidden meaning the speaker may have in choosing to say it.

Sometimes kaona hints to a long and involved story, and other times it is as simple as mine with Ha‘aha‘a.

Ha‘aha‘a ~ I think the Hawaiian word we have for humility simply looks like another very creative way to spell those Ha ha ha! belly tickles of laughter, and I love thinking about that.

May will be the month I explain it a bit more, and then some.

Photo on Flickr by tarotastic: “Is It Really That Funny?!”

Hopefully it won’t just be me! Laughter is so much better with company :)

May will be our month to talk story about whatever kaona we each may have about humility. Life is dishing up some difficult times for us right now, and I have chosen Ha‘aha‘a because of the positive expectancy it gives us. When we are humble we learn quickly and completely. We adjust however we need to, and we are okay with it.

Join me?

As we usually do, we start with the definition within Managing with Aloha, just as a start we can build on:

MY MANA‘O (what I believe to be true) About Humility ~ ~ ~

Ha‘aha‘a
Humility. Be humble, be modest, and open your thoughts.

Ha‘aha‘a. Have humility.
Ha‘aha‘a teaches us to groom our own character with humility in respect for others. There is nothing noble in being superior to someone else; true nobility is in being superior to your previous self.
Ha‘aha‘a helps us understand that no individual can satisfy every need. All in the ‘Ohana are needed. All are to be respected and supported for the talent and uniqueness they offer.
Be humble, be modest, and open your thoughts. This is Ha‘aha‘a.

What about you?

When you hear the word humility, what do you think about?

Is there a difference for you when you think about humility as a human value?

Let’s talk story, shall we? As we do so, we can value our month, and value our life.

We Ho‘ohana (work intentionally) and study Ha‘aha‘a (Humility Laughing, and more) Kākou, together, for together we are stronger, together we are better (and together, we do laugh!)
~ Rosa

If you have arrived at MWAC for the first time, ALOHA and welcome!

This is what MWAC is About, and Ha‘aha‘a is our value study of the month for May 2008.

You are warmly invited and encouraged to subscribe and become part of our Ho‘ohana Community.

Ho‘ohana with us!
~ Rosa Say
More about me here.

Mālama in our 5-Beat Rhythm: What can you sustain?

2008-04-28T01:00:00-10:00

I received an email over the weekend from someone who has a birthday coming up in the next few weeks. They wrote (yes, I am escaping any “he” or “she” hints on purpose!) to let me off the hook, saying, “Rosa, you cannot possibly continue to do these birthday postings on MWAC for everyone in the Ho‘ohana Community; are you really intending to do so?”

They are right, I can’t sustain them in the way I’ve done this month, for the Ho‘ohana Community is too large at this point. I will need to celebrate your birthdays to come in other, manageable and sustainable ways. I didn’t even get everyone in April done!

Since it was our value study for the month, I picked April as an example of what Mālama for birthdays can be: It’s the month of my own birthday (and I don’t shy from celebrating it), and it was a good opportunity to share some thoughts I have on how we adults need and deserve to have our big day celebrated just as much as children do— it’s important.

When I think about our theme of “Mellow Mālama Maintenance” over the past month, the question, “What can you sustain?” is a good one for our wrap up these last three days of April.

Let’s look at the 5th Beat again:

BEAT 5: Manage well! Great managers and those who self-manage create their future, and they don’t settle, or wait for things to just happen to them. Self-coach going forward, by making note of your future follow-through.*

Create a strong, intentional weekly plan with your Calendar and Weekly Review. Integrate specific actions into Dailies and/or other parts of your Trusted System.

Create your 2-Column Chart to help you with final decisions and commitments:

In Column 1: Actions to Keep

In Column 2: How I will Keep Them: NEW HABITS

*That follow-through link is new, and not on the original template --- from March: The 1 List That Every Manager Must Work With --- perhaps another (or preferred?) tool for you to integrate?

The fact that I will have to somehow adjust my birthday celebrations is fairly easy to explain.

However there is something else I have decided is not sustainable here at MWAC: The 5-Beat Rhythm in its present form.

I practice what I preach here each month right along with you, and in short, after several months of trying to, I have realized that I have not been able to arrive at my own Mellow Mālama Maintenance with the MWAC version of the 5-Beat Rhythm.

The 5-Beat Rhythm works wonderfully well in two other contexts

I love the 5-Beat Rhythm as

a one-on-one coaching program (thus the fee option we just started in February is working fabulously well), and
as a method for bringing my Managing with Aloha value of the month value-alignment discipline to specific organizations, with a manager/leader taking ownership of it completely, with my coaching as support. (I do this virtually for organizations using project management software and ILEs— interactive learning environments.)

The 5-Beat Rhythm has proven to work very well for me in these two contexts within my business, Say Leadership Coaching, and I will continue to use it this way. Thus I was hoping I could adapt it just as well to Managing with Aloha Coaching too.

However after these past eight months of pursuing an MWAC adaptation, I am realizing that blogging the 5-Beat Rhythm for such a wide and diverse audience is not as effective for these two reasons:

a) Digital learning has exploded, and so have your options. MWAC needs to be a better comment conversation for you one article at a time, with each article offering a more self-contained, concise context. Conversely, the 5-Beat Rhythm has required too much continuity from our global audience here.

b) Therefore, the 5-Beat Rhythm of MWAC has proven to increase my private conversations with you, and decrease the public ones as a community coaching each other and learning together.

Conclusion?

No more 5-Beat Rhythm for this site. Mellow Mālama Maintenance has answered that “What can you sustain?” question for me.

Our Managing with Aloha Coaching “Value your Month, Value your Life” program remains, and we will continue to put Managing with Aloha in practice via our value of the month program here, as we seek to “Live, Work, Manage and Lead with Aloha!” as it says on the masthead.

Stay tuned, and as television networks will scream, “Don’t touch that dial!” We will ma‘alahi-streamline and begin to make this a bit simpler for you in the coming month.

So for April, 2008...

That is MY Beat 5 as an example: What have you decided you can, or cannot sustain within your own Mellow Mālama Maintenance this month?

Take the next three days to finish your month well. I will post next on Thursday, May 1st, when as usual, we will Ho‘ohana together with a brand new value study.
A mellow ma‘alahi Mālama pono,
Rosa

Hau‘oli la hanau to Tim Milburn!

2008-04-27T07:31:25-10:00

Please join me today in wishing a Happy Birthday to Aloha spirit spiller Tim Milburn.

“Tim Milburn is one of my heroes. Has been ever since I’ve known him. Tim inspires me.”
—Add Value to People, Talking Story, March 2007

Tim is the artistic and creative soul who gives his talented eye for design to Joyful Jubilant Learning for us with images like these, and the learning templates and banners you have seen there over the past two years;

You can see more of what Tim does at his own two blogs,studentlinc and College Students Rule. You can buy the brilliant resources he produces and download some value adds for free.

It will not take long for you to realize that though Tim's graphic art is what can pull you in, what makes you fall in love with him is his writing.

As he says so succinctly on his Twitter profile, Tim is a leadership junkie.
[Tim, I gave you my first Twitter nudge just now--- have no idea how that works yet!]

“When I want nothing but complete happiness, I read Tim. Tim is infectious joy gone wild, and he is incredibly smart! His optimistic and enthusiastic writing is a kind of leadership food for me. Tim Milburn is a man on a mission, and he will not be held back; he is focused on student leaders, however he sees potential in everyone and everything, and he inspires me to be a better person than I am.”
—Sunday Mālama: Spirit Spilling, August 2007

I first met Tim when he had left a comment for me at my first blog Talking Story. It was July 3rd 2005 (take that link and you will take a walk down our Ho‘ohana Community memory lane!) When I followed the link he left behind, I arrived at a site that was nothing like the studentlinc we see today; there was no art or graphics at all, not even pictures within his posts. However I was in love with Tim instantly, for his warm and witty writing reached out and grabbed me. It still does. Me and so many others: On Joyful Jubilant Learning, we bow down to Tim as our artistic director and graphics guy (and with good reason), but we start throwing kisses (and reading in entirely new ways) when he writes for us.

“Early on, I began to understand that people want to be a certain way, but they often act in ways that go against their desires. It's the difference between actual values and desired values. A person may have a desired value of honesty, but in reality, they may cheat a little, lie a little, and act in a way counter to the value that they speak so highly of. It is a subtle issue of character. A person can begin to live with a perceived self (fantasy) that is actually different than one's real self. A leader is one who can enter a situation and point out the differences between hoping to act with certain values and actually implementing those values.”
—Tim Milburn

On Joyful Jubilant Learning, Tim really personifies each word of that name we have chosen for the site. I marvel when I look back over the time I have known him, and realize what a learner Tim really is. I am in awe and profound gratitude for his giving nature, and am continually astounded by what he does for me within pure heart. I dedicate today, this Sunday Mālama to Tim, fully realizing just how much Tim is the one who Mālamas me.

On this, his birthday, Tim Milburn is a gift to all of us.

Hau‘oli la hanau Tim :)

Know you are loved today. You are admired for your work as student leadership mentor, and as the learner, artist and author that you are for us, but you are loved because of the good soul and man you are.
Me ke aloha kaua pumehana ~ Rosa

About celebrating birthdays: Keith is right, and lucky me, you know it too.