MaNaLL's Blog

2011-06-10T14:26:00.001-06:00

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You owe me one!

2011-06-09T01:28:00.000-06:00

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2011-02-18T13:17:00.001-06:00

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-=Everything & Endless More=-

2005-01-07T01:06:00.000-06:00

She is Everything and Endless More, of what I have been searching for my whole life.
What most people in this world spend thier whole lives searching for,
But I am no longer in that boat.

She is the answer to my prayers,
And the wakening to my dreams.
She is all I've ever wanted,
And everything in between.

I wait for her call every minute of everyday,
Regardless of if I have anything useful to say.
Hearing that sweet voice that brings me to a drift,
That carries me through the day, so indulgently swift.

-=Greatest Part of Me=-

2005-01-07T00:56:00.000-06:00

Fairwell out. Far from here.
There sits a man, who's not really knowing.
Of what's to come, or what's to be.
But you can believe, that his not scared,
Of anything that's over whelming.
Still I can see, that he is concerned of anything special,
And everything "Free".

Nothing like love has the potential,
Of being the greatest part of me.
Nothing in the world could ever change this,
This is how I was supposed to be.

Now you see this man,
Well he wasn't special to himself.
It's the people he cares for,
That means the most.
He has a whole lot of lovin'
That he spreads around.
Finding the small things,
That are meant to be found.

*Originally written: 11/26/04

-=Anxiety Awaits=-

2005-01-05T19:45:00.000-06:00

Anxiety Awaits with the arrival Everything.
Counting clock-clicks stirs this emotional driven force.
Tempting time, hopes for immediate gratification.
Gathering goods and Entrapping emotions,
Willingly waiting seems my only option.

-=Unbelievable Untouchable=-

2004-11-24T13:08:00.000-06:00

An Unbelievable Untouchable that's Almost Inevitable.
Time will dictate the page in the air.
Feathering down to pass the floor.
A careless creation out of my hands,
A dream awaits my trust within.

-=Dying Days=-

2004-11-19T13:06:00.000-06:00

Such a Delicate Touch,

Such a Sentiual Sound.

As each day dies,

The funeral from each carries on to the next.

-=Addicted to a Dream=-

2004-11-11T17:30:00.000-06:00

Sometime soon, Some place, where?
I'll be okay, or so I hear.
Its not just one thing, its just that one thing helps, and makes it worse.
Many hours, many faces to come and go.
An old love still lingers.
Does she still think about me? I've never quit.
Why here, where it hurts?
"Just forget and carry on." Its not so simple.
I'll miss all the little things, and all the big things.
I'll miss it all.
Addicted to a Dream, and Lost in it.
So she has chosen to not be happy, leaving me the same.

-=Hanging On A String=-

2004-11-08T13:20:00.000-06:00

*written on 10/30/04
-----------------------------------
Hold this, all night long.
Hope it never fades away.
Trust, in my heart, and in you, to do the same.
Why is this such a suprise to come to me?
But nothing like before,
It's something inside of me.
That won't let go and drift,
So further from the truth,
Still here I am with you.

*Continued on 11/04/04
-------------------------------------
Why is this hard for me?
When all I'm to do is to carry on.
I can't stand the feeling of not having you in my...
In my loving arms.
So tell me why? Tell me when will I get to know?
About the things you feel and the things you keep inside.
There are times when I get confused with myself,
And why I'm doing this,
Hanging on a String.

-=Unreachable Fate=-

2004-11-08T08:41:00.000-06:00

Nervous, Scared, Bothered, and Concerned.

The situation, an open composition.

It goes as it comes. I don’t want to lose her in the rumble.

“Don’t forget me, please.”

The future holds what no one knows.

I have faith that it could be great.

Her choice determines the Fate.

-=Prosthetic Emotions=-

2004-11-05T13:17:00.000-06:00

I'm going crazy, and I can't stop it.
It's like I have no control over anything anymore,
Not even my thoughts, or feelings.
I try to make myself feel different, better.
But with no success. It's all just Prosthetic Emotions.
A smoke-screen from everything.
Seeping through so further from where I want to be.
Making myself feel better, just makes it worse.
And doing nothing at all, would just do nothing.

-="Skywalker" is Born=-

2004-11-04T13:01:00.000-06:00

A new life brought into the world.
Untouched, and not knowing of what he has been brought into.
Bless this child, let him live well. My nephew "Skywalker".
Life please, live with him. Be good to him.
And carefully indulge him in everything he needs.

-=Repetitious Deliverance=-

2004-11-02T17:13:00.000-06:00

Infections of Life, that's what they are.

Those little things that get in the way,

That make getting through them Victories.

Dawnless days of an Industrial Phase.

On and On we go teasing ourselves

With Temporary Destinations of Joy.

*Repetitious Deliverance*

*Originally Written on -- 01/21/04

-=Hollowed Out & Bordered Up=-

2004-11-02T17:01:00.000-06:00

Hollowed Out and Bordered Up.
Living everyday with all my disbeliefs.
I'm tired now, yet hungry again.
Ready to take the world on as my life begins.
There's too much darkness now, I'm falling asleep.

*Originally Written on 10/25/02

-=Tattoos & Cigarettes=-

2004-10-30T19:30:00.000-06:00

Here I sit and so it will be. Alone, Confused, and Tempted.
Temptation seems to be my biggest fear, it's my omni-blow.
Unfamiliar place with unfamiliar faces, this isn't where I want to be.
What does this mean? Hell if I know..."Where to Go?" where ever it is I'll be alone.
So here I dwell..
"We I.D." that's all I see, I want not to see anything else.
Here I am again with an old friend. As many come and go, she is still faithful.
Not to start seeing her again, as "Mama told me not to come" plays on the jukebox.
I ponder "How long to to stay?" Is a half hour enough,...No.
I know her. An old friend of an old friend, one familiar face passes.
Tattoos & Cigarettes. Beer & Skirts. Still here I sit.
Waiting for what?
An image of a baby brings me back, still I write.
A name that means nothing to me, but to someone else, that's else's Mentos...?
I try but my old friend of depression never fails to make her impression.
So still I ramble............

Hello again, I'm back. Still here with no voice. Just Me.
As "You look wonderful tonight" plays...
I think to myself, "Where?" "When?"
I'm leaving soon. I'll be back. I'm enjoying having someone, the only one, who can understand
Me, Myself, and I will always be here to tell.

-=Confused Dream, of a Confused Mind=-

2004-10-29T21:52:00.000-06:00

Never Alone, Never Set Free.
Always portraying something of me.
I'm not asking for nothing more.
I hold it deep within myself.
Looking at all the time passed by.
All I want is to hold my own.
So many times I've looked inside,
Confiding in my self-esteem...
I wake up it's only a dream...
Now I'm back in time,
And I want to sleep again.
Where I'm safe from fear and all that comes to mind,
When I think this dream is the life that I've grown to live.
"Please take yourself away."
As my mind wonders into a land where I'm okay.
Free from fear, Free from the life,
Free from everything that's right.
So here I sit, just wondering "How?"
My mind's made up. So tell me "Why?"...or "When?"
This dream will begin.

-=My Rose=-

2004-10-22T00:44:00.000-06:00

There is a rose out there that caught my eye.

The most beautiful creation I've seen.

To pick it from it's place would kill it, which brings me to visit evveryday.

I think of this rose all the time. It's so pure you can feel it.

I want to bring this rose from its dead, cold, fenced in land.

I want to nurish it and show what could be.

-=Temptation=-

2004-10-22T00:38:00.000-06:00

Oh what a situation, no defense from this temptation.

A delicate rose that's sweet and true.

The things I strive for are hers too.

Skin so delicate, soft and sweet.

I wait in time for the next time we meet.

-=New Love=-

2004-10-21T22:24:00.000-06:00

Hello again, here I am with one thing on my mind.

I can't get away from it, I can't stop it this time.

I really don't want to, just walk away?

No, I will keep coming where I'm asked to stay.

I like it here, where I am safe.

In her arms is now my place.

I wonder how I'm feeling this way.

How every smile brings a beautiful new day.

She gleems with glee, so gentle and soft.

So beautiful I can bearly talk.

My heart jumps twice with every glance.

As I treasure every moment with one single chance.

The chance to show her, how it could be.

She could be happy, if she were with me.

So I go on, with my grain of hope.

Hanging on this thread that's left of the rope.

My heart is ahead, still waiting for my time.

I am wanting to find myself, when I can make her mine.

-=Old Friend=-

2004-10-12T13:02:00.000-06:00

Trying to say goodbye to an old friend. Realizing what i have. And everything Im here for.

Now i will pickup after my friend. Goodbye...

-=Fairwell=-

2004-10-12T00:50:00.000-06:00

Saying fairwell to old friends. I have to change.
It's been fun, but now I'm tired & broke.
Can't continue this way.
Temptation against my side with no door to lock these away.

-=Moving On=-

2004-10-09T08:15:00.000-06:00

I'll walk alone now, hoping to find my way.

Running from memory, living for today.

I can't catch myself when I'm falling this fast.

I need to stop and think to forget the past.

Heading forward and Moving on never felt so good.

It's time to take back the things I've said.

Cash in my ticket to pass it along.

New beginning and vast horizon awaits my departure.

So I'm out, I am gone. Forget about me and move along.

It's time this chapter closes as another awaits.

2nd post

2004-09-15T18:39:00.000-06:00

Hello, this is my second blog post, first from e-mail, and just wanted to test it out.

2004-09-14T21:11:00.000-06:00