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A lot has happened in the world of Manatee Kickball in the last month. We won our second straight City of Scottsdale Kickball Championship! There was little competition in the playoffs, the closest game was actually the first game against the lowest seed in the league. We were going to skip the summer session, because of this, but everyone got all mad sea cow about it so we decided to play. The competition has been fierce thus far. After two opening week blowouts, we barely squeaked by with two wins the following week. Season four MVP Andy Gulbis will return week 4 and hopefully give the offense some much needed power. The Manatees will continue their unbeaten dominance this season and hopefully win a third championship. We are 36-1-1 in our last 38 games!

Saturday, at Manatee headquarters (8215 E Monterosa St – its the “Tom, Gabe, Andy, and Oliver” house on the linked map) we are going to host a little wet and wild fun.  Bring your suit, some tanning oil, and some food for a potluck (Or some meat to do work on the grill) and be ready for a serious all-day rager.

Details following – please post a comment with what food you’re gonna bring so we don’t have 500 hot dogs like last year.  Andy was the only happy Manatee that day, and the roommies suffered from the antics that followed.

The plan of attack:

12 high noon:  Meet up at the HQ for a little potluck/pregame/pool surfing session.

3 pm:  Kick it over to Big Surf Waterpark.  After 3 pm its $17 for regular aged people, and only $13 for “junior surfers.”  This means it only costs Gabe 13 bucks a head for an afternoon with his illegitmate kids!

*Side note:  No beer coolers at the park, but they have a bar there and I’m sure you could lounge in the parking lot and kick some beers with the high school kids (note: bring bags of oregano with words “Killer Weed” to rip off burnout high schoolers).

315 pm:  Jason and Kate begin powering through 12 bags of multi-flavored sunflower seeds.

323 pm:  Oliver and Tara win three legged race.  Then they enjoy sweet wedding present from Andy.  In the background, Tom flies out to center field.

327 pm: Monique flies to Vegas to hang out in ultra VIP room with celebrities.  She will return on private jet in time for Monday’s game.

329 pm:  Heather crashes into lifeguard at bottom of waterslide.  Umpire determines that she is safe, and she returns to position in the field after Tom flies out to center field.

337 pm:  Gabe buys 100 beers at the beer garden.   He then thinks of clever way to rhyme word “Manatee” into a toast to an ovation of smattering applause.

343 pm: Sharad and Katie catch biggest air of the day when Rusty sees a discarded hot dog.

347 pm:  After chugging shot of Patron, Chris pukes out of the side of his mouth onto Kristen’s shoulder.  Tom yells expletive after flying out to center field.

351 pm:  Steve pulls of Under Armour shirt to reveal tighter fitting Under Armour shirt

401 pm:  Lauren A. and Lauren B. have bikini pillow fight to decide once and for all who is the best Manatee named Lauren.  Andy judges intently.

416 pm:  Jamie kicks a home run

416 pm and 7 seconds:  Jamie has already rounded the bases, gone down two water slides, depantsed an unsuspecting fan, painted a self portrait, built an extension on the tool shed, and is now sitting on the bench in time to watch Tom fly out to center field.

422 pm:  Andy returns from parking lot and states that he is “so baked” from 420 smokeout.  Bag marked “killer weed” is suspiciously hanging out of pocket.

436 pm:  Tom dances with glee after rare groundout to first base.

502 pm:  Group picture.

Once it gets dark outside/boring/waterpark closes pm:  Back to HQ

8 pm:  Rousing game of beer pong. 

826 pm:  Thrilling Rock Band rendition of ‘Roxanne.’

Who cares what time it is, I’m already drunkkkkkk pm:  Old town bars.

Following morning pm:  Supreme hangover.  Loss of dignity.  Stretching begins in anticipation of start of new season.

See you there!