Life after major Life changes

So Many Changes

2014-03-07T08:34:00.003-05:00

Hello fellow bloggers and followers,

This morning I wanted to just type away at how confused I am by so many changes! Although most of the changes I have made myself, but I have come to conclusion I just am simply not Happy!

To begin, I had started the new job at Seven Hills; this job however, was not for me!!!! I was not thrilled with the way they ran their program and found it difficult to cope. Therefore I did not go back to work and emailed them stating I was finished and I would not complete a 2 week notice as I was still in orientation.

I had left an employer after 7 years of employment in November of 2013; in which I should have never left to begin with. When leaving The Arc, I went on to Aspen Dental for a few short months and realized that the dental world is not for me. I did not appreciate people handing me their dentures asking "Is there anything you can do to fix these" that is just EWWWW!! So after I had my RNY I did not return to Aspen... I went on to Seven Hills.

I went to visit The Arc the other day and asked them to hire me back, even if that meant starting all over again (relief staff). I miss the family I worked with, that's what we were! When I walked into The Arc, I felt as though I had never left! Hugs and hugs and high fives, Smiles and faces that I have missed these past few months. I felt AT HOME! Needless to say, they will hire me back as relief and once something opens up I can apply for another position within the company! I am so pleased that they wanted me back just as much as I want them back!

As for weight loss, I am trucking along, I have lost nearly 50lbs! I can feel a difference in my clothes and I am excited to try on the clothes that I haven't worn in over a year! Support groups have been great! I did have my first rough patch- went to Denny's for lunch with my hubby, got an order of eggs. They went down fine, took my time, and chewed chewed chewed! But all of a sudden was in the bathroom, slimming (excess saliva). Then went to PetSmart, couldn't even finish walking through there, back to the bathroom more slimming, then had to leave the store and once I got to the truck... I began to vomit liquefied eggs. UGH, it was the most disgusting thing ever. A very unpleasant experience, that I hope to NEVER experience again!

Well, till next time... TTFN

~Mandy

A bit of Everything

2014-02-23T18:53:00.001-05:00

Hello,

Hope everyone is well! I thought I would make a post about the past few weeks and how my journey is going.

I started a job at Seven Hills, started orientation on 2/14 and then began in the program on 2/20. I am excited to start this job, and see where it takes me. I will be a Senior Service Coordinator, supervising 6 staff and overseeing 25 program participants. For those of you who don't know; I work for adults with Developmental/Intellectual Disabilities.
It was hard going back to work after being out for almost 5 weeks. I only worked 2 days at the program and was completely exhausted. I thought to myself "thank God I am only here for 2 days my first week". The other days was basic orientation and learning about the company.

I did come down the flu the week I started my new job, however I went that Friday and was home for 3 days due to the holiday; so that gave me time to rest up. My pouch did not like having the flu... I was so shaky, weak, dizzy, and just thought it was never going to end. I called the Dr. and they told me I HAD to eat, anything. I hadn't eaten in 3 days because I would just run to the bathroom. No vomiting (thank goodness for that), but the other is just as bad.

I have found that my pouch does not like to eat in the morning. My body can not handle solids in the a.m. I usually just have a carnation instant breakfast with half milk and half water. I will be happy to see my nutritionist on Friday this week. I will be able to start introducing all food groups to my diet. That I will be thankful for!

Well, not much else to say......

Till next time,

~Mandy

Do you have any??? (Support Groups)

2014-02-08T09:34:00.001-05:00

For those of you who have had WLS, do you have a lot of support? I don't just mean your family or spouse or children... I mean others who are going through the same things as you! People who have had trouble with their weight and finally had enough and decided to make healthy lifestyle changes and major changes to the insides of their bodies by having WLS..

I am one who has a lot of support! The WLS group at St. Vincent's has been just wonderful! The first time I walked into my behavioral group meeting; I was quiet, shy, didn't want to say much about my personal experiences... As the weeks went by I began to open up and share my stories; Lap Band, Lap Band Removal, Losing my Dad, why I gained all my weight back after losing over 90 lbs. Once I began to open up, I felt that people responded to me and I didn't' feel so quiet and shy anymore. After all these people don't know me and if I really want help, I need to speak up and admit I NEEDED HELP! A few people who were in my group are still going to the monthly support meetings, and after quite a few months getting to know them and more on a personal level by becoming friends on social networks has been such a blessing!! ..

A few of us had WLS a few days apart and some weeks apart. We have connected on Facebook and have cheered each other on through the recovery process and wishing each other luck on the BIG day! However, it is not just this group that has been so supportive and great... I have joined an online support group for locals that have had Bariatric Surgery. I could not be more happier with this group of peeps who are on the same journey as I. I feel like I am getting to know each of them on a personal level and they are always willing to help answer any questions that I post. They too are cheering us all on and giving encouraging advice and posting motivational quotes.

I feel blessed to have two wonderful support groups and also my family and friends who have supported my decisions to have WLS.

Until next time...

~Mandy

Post op with Surgeon & weigh in

2014-02-04T11:40:00.005-05:00

Today was my post op with the surgeon, things went well and he did answered my questions and laughed with me when I asked where the other part of my stomach was.
My questions....

When I would get my energy back-? In time, the body is still healing and it will take your energy for the healing process. Within the next week or two I should see a difference in my energy level.
What is the pain I am experiencing? There is dissolvable stitches in the muscles under the skin, the more I move the more it is rubbing and with the muscles healing it will take time for the pain to subside.
Where is the other part of my stomach? It is in there, it is not attached to anything, it just sits between the other organs and that helps keep it in place. No need to worry that it will just flap around in there.

I had a urine test for a new job yesterday, the results were a bit abnormal and I brought them to the Dr. today, he told me I am dehydrated and I must push fluids and large amounts of Ketones was found (I guess this is our body burning fat since we do not have any sugars to burn). Also, there was a some blood in the urine, so he put in an order for me to have another urine test in a month.

The did weigh me and I am now down a total of 30lbs in almost 3 weeks. That is amazing, 10lbs a week...

I was also given clearance to start exercising. So since I love to dance, Just Dance series will be used every day again, will also be doing light weights.

Till next time....

~Mandy

Post Op Follow Up's

2014-01-30T16:10:00.002-05:00

Today I had my post op nutrition follow up appointment... I am happy to say I have graduated to soft foods! My nutritionist told me I need to think of my pouch as a new baby. Babies start with formula, then advance to soft/pureed foods, and then they advance to more solids.. So I need to think of my new pouch that way!

So, when I left my appointment I decided to head to Target to pick up a few things, eggs, tuna, saltines, etc.... Then had to go for my drug testing for my new job (Seven Hills as a Senior Service Coordinator). Finally came home to relax and have some lunch, tuna with low fat mayo and 2 saltine crackers! I tell you; I enjoyed every bite!!! I will learn to appreciate food again!

Yesterday I went to see my PCP and I explained the pain that I have had, it's a burning, stabbing, annoying pain. I hate having my clothes touch that one part of my skin. My PCP told me that the surgeon may have nicked and nerve or something and that is why I have that feeling/pain. So I have my post op with Dr. Potter on the 4th of Feb, hoping he can give me answers to this strange annoying pain.

I also need to speak with him about my hair. I used to have really thick hair and now it is thin and brittle. I knew that this could happen, just didn't think it would happen with me since no matter what I do my hair is still so thick.

Well I am down 25lbs in 2 weeks, which is great! I am below 300lbs and I am looking forward to continue to lose weight. I have the support groups that I attend, there is an amazing support group that was just started on Facebook, and I have great support at home! I am ready to try introducing new foods into diet..

This me just about 2 weeks post op. I am feeling a bit better each day!

Till next time,

~Mandy

My Bypass Journey

2014-01-26T13:45:00.001-05:00

So I thought I would take some time today to write a little about my journey so far with the gastric bypass...

     I decided it was time to start fresh when I hit the 300lb mark. It was April 2013 and I had discussed with my Dr. numerous time I was not ready for surgery again!!! My Dr. explained that it does not have to be surgical but I could get involved with the program and go the behavioral route.

     I started the program in April, went through the groups (behavioral, nutrition, and monthly weigh in's). Even though I was making changes, I still was not losing weight. My weight would fluctuate up and down, as it had all my life.

      During my weekly meeting I discussed my success and struggles with the lap-band and shared my frustrations with my group peers. I discussed my stressors and my story about losing my dad on Christmas Eve 2 years ago. I don't usually open up to people right away, but I knew if I wanted help (which I really did), I had to start somewhere and trust someone!

      As time went on and I realized that this has always been a struggle of mine ~being unable to lose the weight on my own~ I decided it was time to give surgery another go! I was approved by the team and was sent to Dr. Potter's for a consult!

      In November (it does take time to get approved and get an appointment at the surgeons office), at Dr. Potter's office we discussed the previous experience I had and what had happened, Dr. Potter told me that it would not be possible to have the sleeve done because of all the possible scar tissue around the stomach. I had to have gastric bypass if I wanted to go with surgery. I asked many questions and finally agreed with the Dr. After my appointment I was sent upstairs to scheduling and was scheduled for surgery January 16th 2014!

      January 16th came, my surgery was scheduled for 2:00 however my surgeon was behind so my surgery did not start until 5:00. I woke up in recovery at 9:30 and was sent to my room at 10:30. I was lucky that I got a private room and thank goodness I did!!! I was on the 2nd floor at St. V's hospital, which is the floor they monitor you closely due to your heart! I was on that floor b/c my potassium levels went really low after surgery and I guess that can cause trouble with the heart.

      First full day at hospital was clear liquids.. along with IV fluids and bags of IV potassium. I hated the thought, smell and look of food! My Mum, Nana, Grandpa, Hannah and Josh came up to visit.. It was nice to see familiar faces and even though I was sleeping off and on, they stayed for a few hours. Later that night my husband came up to visit (I hadn't seen him since the morning of my surgery since he had to work).

     So Saturday night came I was happy to know I was going home and it was great my husband would be home with me for the next few days! Honestly the ride home from the hospital was the absolute worse ride of my life! The bumps were the hardest part of the ride home, I could feel each and every one!!!

      The first week being home sucked! I had a really hard time getting my protein in, I hated the thought of chewing my vitamins and I just was not in the mood for anything. My pain felt intolerable and not to mention the gas pains. I continued to remind myself this will all be worth it in the end! I am pleased to say everyday gets better and I am down 23lbs. My post op nutrition appointment is Thursday where she will upgrade my diet to soft foods!

Well until next time......

~Mandy

~time sure does fly~

2014-01-25T08:11:00.001-05:00

It's amazing how you lose track of time. It's hard to believe that is it has been nearly 2 years since I have blogged!

Well here is a quick recap of the past few years....

Things got a bit depressing after losing my dad! It felt as though a major piece of us had been pulled out from under us! We all had a lot of adjusting to do and it is not till recent that we have finally adjusted and are learning to live without him!

Within the 2 years, my son was diagnosed with ADHD, my daughter was diagnosed with depression/anxiety, and I have become the heaviest weight ever in my life! I recently had a career change back in late November 2013, that I am not so fond of (dental receptionist)! I miss the Human Service field...

I began a new weight loss program through a different hospital back in April 2013. I had Gastric Bypass surgery on January 16, 2014 (my heaviest at the time of surgery 315) and learning my way through WLS (weight loss surgery) all over again.

Now I try to deal with the daily struggles of raising a teenage daughter, a son with ADHD, and all my own inner demons!

Well, I hope that you continue to follow me through my journey as I have been given a 2nd chance to weight loss surgery!

~Mandy

A new hobby!

2012-02-13T12:41:00.000-05:00

I have found myself something new that I absolutely love doing to pass the time! I Love to Crochet! It keeps my hands busy and my mind occupied! I do a little bit each day! I have completed 2 blankets and 3 scarfs! I am working on a hat and learning to make flowers (Thanks to YouTube)!

My grandmother taught me how to knit, and then she taught me how to crochet! My 11 year old daughter is now knitting and crocheting as well! The last hour or so at the end of our day we sit together on the sofa, crochet and talk about our day! Lately we have been reminising about Bumpy!

Life seems so quiet lately and sometimes I am still just speechless! I have began counseling again to help me through and to figure things out! Zoloft has become my new anit-depressant and seems to be working effectively!

Sometimes in the shuffle of things you lose sight of those that really matter to you! Such as my husband, as much as I love him, while going through the motions of my dad's passing; I found that I pushed him away! Well, during my counseling session I was told he and I needed some alone time (a date night rather), so Saturday night we got dressed up and headed for dinner and just focused on "US"! I realized I loved him all over again and it felt so good to be back in his arms with the love that he gives!

But it is normal to feel guilty, that I am in the arms of my husband, being happy and my mum is downstairs "alone"....

Anyways, here is a few pictures of my projects that I have finished!

And my last photo, is just a recent photo of me!

Enjoy!

~Mandy

Where Have I Been

2012-01-05T19:11:00.000-05:00

It's amazing at how life just goes so fast! Sometimes you just feel like you are the Energizer Bunny! I can't even begin to tell you about my journey the past few months I have vanished, but I can tell you one thing! I never wish it upon anyone! EVER!

Well, I know I told you all that my dad was sick "Bumpy" we call him! Bumpy was diagnosed with lung cancer back in the very end of May! So Bumpy was going for treatment, Chemo and Radiation! In December Bumpy was having a really hard time and we had found out that the treament Bumpy was going through didn't do a Damn thing to the tumors in his lungs. So he had just began a new round of Chemo and then a week later he was just really having a hard time breathing and was shaking and trembling...

On thursday the 15th was his next Dr's appointment which we all went to! Bumpy, mum, Bumpy's Sister and Brother and me. The Dr took a look at him and knew something wasn't right! Sent him over for x-ray and CT Scan. They found a pulmonary embolism in his left lung. Was sent up to ICU, in which there were some really rough days. Monday Bumpy slept all day, was seeing things, and talking to people who weren't there. Bumpy told the Dr he saw some old family and lights.. Bumpy asked mum if he was dying. Mum told him she wasn't a Dr and didn't know! Early morning Wed the 21 st Bumpy was transfered to Foster Wing ... Throughout this whole time, Me and Mum and His Brothers and Sister, were up quite often (everyday) almost all day by his side.

On Thursday morning the 22nd Me and Bumpy were in the room, the Dr came in and had a conversation with us about treatment and if Bumpy wanted to continue.. Bumpy told the Dr "I don't want to live like this, I can't live like this" and Bumpy looked at me and told me "Mandy, I am tired. I am just tired"! So, decisions were made and they stopped all treatment, fluids, blood tests, and just gave Bumpy the Morphine to keep him comfortable.

Bumpy passed away on Christmas Eve 12/14 at 1:50 pm. With me and mum holding his hand, talking to him and kissing him...

Christmas Day was spent picking out caskets, making arrangements and picking out photos and his clothes for the wake and funeral! Ugghhhh!

Its been rough, the week of the wake and funeral was a blur (I was dosed up on Ativan to help my nerves.)

Well, that has been my story! My weight has been on the back burner for quite sometime now.. But I think now it's time to focus back on me and my weight, my health, and my family!

Happy New Year to all! I am sure hoping 2012 is MY YEAR!

~Mandy

Where have I been?

2011-09-21T16:12:00.000-04:00

Been a long time since I have posted anything on here! I am in such a rut, not sure how to get out!

I am turning the BIG 30 on the 30th of this month! OMG... really why am I having such a hard time with 30? I can't figure out why, but I am terrified of 30! I have been lovin my 20's and enjoying life... I guess I feel like if I turn 30... I am really growing up! (Not that I am not grown up...) ... but you get my point?? Or not really?? I know I am confusing!

Well, things overall are OK here.. Not great, not bad, just OK! Bumpy finished his major rounds of Chemo and Radiation. Now he is only going for Chemo once every 3 weeks. No more radiation.. CAT Scan looked good and the biggest tumor was dying from the inside out! (Dr's have never seen that before). However, it is a good thing!

Work has been extremely busy, and now that my boss is back I am hoping things will finally slow down a bit for me! Both my boss and co-worker have been on maternity leave! My co-worker comes back in October!

My Hannah Banana is now in 6th grade (middle school/junior high), whatever you want to call it! Joshua is now a 1st grader! Uggghhh I want to cry my babies are growing up.

I went for a haircut today! I really needed something different SOOOOoooooo... I got bangs! I love them, think they look great! My husband and Hannah (not so much)!

Well, I have gained back about 35 lbs of what I lost.. I am back up over 200 lbs.. and not pleased with myself.. but stress happens, life happens, and everyone says I still look great! But now my 14' jeans are a bit tight! LOL. After my 30th birthday bash I plan to get on track and begin a new program! So we see how that goes!

Well, I am off to dinner with my husband, kids, mom, bumpy and grandparents.

~Mandy

What do I do?

2011-07-25T09:34:00.000-04:00

It sure has been a while since my last post! But lately my life has been busier than Ever! With the duties of everyday life and the extras happening lately, I haven't had time to really sit down and think! I now have all day to do so while I wait with my dad (aka Bumpy) as he gets another full day of Chemo & Radiation! Today out of all days has been quite tough; Bumpy has been extremely dizzy, nausea and dehydrated. I had to help him get ready this morning, tie his shoes and help him to the bathroom, car, and seat. Bumpy has lost all of his hair at this point and the best news is....He is no longer having any pain! What I don't understand is that they say they want to treat the cancer so he could have his quality of life-where it was before the Cancer! How is that possible when he is sick and weak everyday??? I am sitting here listening to the IV Machine pump all these fluids and poisons into his body, watching him sit in the recliner, eyes shut, breathing shallow, twitching every now and then! Waiting for today to be done with!

Tomorrow I take my Grandpa to the Cardiologist for a Follow Up! I am hoping all looks good!

As for myself, I am really out of sorts here! I have not weighed in for about 3 weeks now! I am scared to get on the scale and see how much I have gained! I am in therapy once a week! Working 40 hours but really should be working 80 hours... I have no time to do my job and everyone else's! My boss is on Maternity Leave and my Co-Worker (Case Manager) will be on Maternity Leave starting Next MONTH!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am stressed to the max! Not sure what to do! I haven't had any time to exercise, cause when I get home and finished everything ... I am completely exhausted! In the morning... I don't want to get out of bed! I am hoping this week I can get back into the swing of things.. Plus the weather won't be too bad this week! The past few days were BRUTAL!!!

Well, not much more to add today! Just been hanging in there and trying to keep it together! My Hannah Banana is doing an Awesome Job at staying strong for her BUMPY! But every now and then; when I tell her its ok to cry.... We both break down and cry!!!

Till next time,

~Mandy

In a SLUMP

2011-07-10T09:29:00.000-04:00

There is not one week that I have lost weight since they took my band from me! I walk and jog and eat right and do all I NEED TO DO... and I gain 1.2 every single Freakin Week (with the exception of one week it was 1.6)! What the hell! Have I hit the plateau...

I had my friend Jenna over last night.. we had some Margaritas and I was DRUNK! I had not been DRUNK in a loooonnnnggg loooonnnnggggg time! Forgot what that felt like... We had a great time though, playin cards, laughing and drinking! It was a good night for me to forget about my TROUBLES and just LET LOOSE!

Yesterday I was cleanin my house and my mom came upstairs and asked me to give my dad a buzz cut! He lost alot of hair yesterday while in the shower! Its more real than ever now! :( I always give the men in my life haircuts.. but this time was different with my dad... My heart ached and I wanted to break down and cry!

Well, I am honestly short for words today! Not much happening here... I am gaining weight and stressed out and trying to find my way through it all!

Now for a few photos!

summer vaca

2011-06-29T17:47:00.001-04:00

Well, I am on vacation this week! Today I took my kiddos to my aunt's pool! I put on a bathing suit! Been a long time since I wore a bathing suit! But I did it! I even went swimming with the kids! I had a blast!

Here is my swimsuit!

Here is me and my kiddos in the water

I have had a wonderful vacation, being active, taking the kids to the park, walking ( I walked about 10 miles yesterday and 6 miles Monday)! I didn't walk this morning due to the rain, so I am hoping to go tonight! I did exercise already today (swimming)!

So back to reality! My dad had his worse day yet! Oh the vomiting was non stop all night and all morning yesterday! Its so hard to see him suffering from this horrible disease! I Hate IT! My mom and myself decided to sit down with my girls yesterday and talk about Bumpy (my dad) and how he has cancer. My oldest (Hannah) who is Bumpy's little girl!!!!!!!!! Was very quiet and not quite sure what all this meant...later last night I went to her room and her and I talked about it a little more and I explained it a bit more detailed and told her it is ok to be scared and it's OK to cry! Soon as I said that, she broke into tears and hugged me and didn't let go! (I cried too)! I am heart broken to see her so scared and worried!

Well, camping this weekend! I can't wait! Then back to work on Tuesday next week! My boss is on maternity leave and the new case manager who is workin with me will be on maternity leave too in August! So things will be back to chaos in a few weeks! :) My life as we know it!

Therapy again on Friday morning 7am! I also called my Dr to up my dose of Prozac... now up to 40 mg and Ativan as needed!!!

me and my hubby by pool ( i have no make up on )! SCARY!!!!

Take Care Everyone,

~Mandy

ReFocus

2011-06-27T11:16:00.000-04:00

So as I posted the other night, life has been a bit Crazy these past few months! I must honestly say that since I had my Lap Band Removed, things have just been going in a downward spiral! I have become not only a care giver to my kids, but my dad and grandparents too! Amazing I am taking care of 3 generations (2 before and one after me)!!!

I have now become the main person for my grandfathers Dr. Appointments! Not sure why, but it always seems as though he doesn't get mad at me! (I tell him like it is)! "YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE DR! You just had a Freak-in Knee replacement and your leg should not be discolored like that! CALL THE DR!" As an old stubborn Irish Man, Grandpa refused to call the Dr..... So I did it for him! I was furious to find out a baseball hit him in the knee a few days before that why his leg was bruised! I love him dearly! I also called his Heart Dr to schedule an appointment for his follow up.

I have been taking time off of work to go to the Dr's with my dad too! Chemo, Radiation, blood work, and stool samples! Calling the Oxygen place cause the machine isn't working! Making sure his weight is maintaining and he isn't losing too much. Today he was the same as last week! His pain is being managed, better than before! We just pray every day that treatment will help him and help improve his quality of life! I have yet to tell my kids anything and I know they are worried, but I at first need to be OK with this diagnosis... and I am still not! I am still in shock!

When my Nana was coming home from Rehab, I needed to call insurance companies, medical supply companies, and Dr's office to get prescriptions and supplies for her to come home. Commodes, shower chairs, ect....

My husband and I have always had troubles with his ex.. and now they have just gotten worse! I flipped out on her! I not sure where all the anger is coming from... but she really gets under my skin! Maybe now that I am not going to let her "run" my life, as she has in the past. We always finagle our schedule accommodating her! NO MORE SWEETHEART! Thursday was our anniversary, and I told her we would not be home on Friday night. Apparently she had plans and told me "NO, Natasha goes Friday to Sunday this weekend"! Ummm... NOPE NOT THIS TIME! Do you know the Crazy bitch sat in our driveway for 45 mins waiting for us to come home! We didn't answer the phones or anything! Then on Saturday she dropped her off and started her shit! I am so tired of this shit now! I could no longer keep my mouth shut! Nearly 7 years of keepin quiet! I have grown a pair of balls and WOW!!!! HA Ha Ha... So I guess she is taking us back to court again!

I am on vaca this week and excited to just have some time off to help clear my mind. My kids are now out of school for the summer, they are drivin me nutty already! I will be glad to get back to work on the 5th of July! LOL~

Well, Take Care Everyone! I have missed blogging!

~Mandy

time for a new look

2011-06-26T21:27:00.002-04:00

hope you like it!!! and the new title.

Time Flies

2011-06-26T15:10:00.000-04:00

Amazing that I have not been bloggin in so long! At least that is what it seems like... So long ago!!!!

Well, I welcome you to another crazy post ... I think I will change my blog to "A day in the CRAZY life of Mandy, Mother, wife, full time worker, daughter, granddaughter, care take of 3 generations..." ext ext...

Hmmmm where to begin! I have gained a total of 8 lbs since they removed my lap band! I am now weighing at 186! Grrrrrr!!!!! Its all right though!!! I know I am stressed (TO THE MAX)!!!! I am walking/jogging every morning! I am workin out, so I guess I am building up so muscles??????? Who the hell knows!

My weight is the least of my worries at the moment! I began Therapy! Yuppers, I got myself into Therapy! Honestly, I never really sat back and looked at how much shit I am going through at the moment! My therapist...was SHOCKED at everything going on in my life at the moment and amazed at how CALM I seem!

Well, my dad began Chemo and has been doing fairly well so far! Just been really nauseous from it. My Nana is home from Rehab (thank god)! I am on Vacation this week coming!

Oh I had an argument with my husbands ex! OH MY GOSH!!!! I CAN'T F********* STAND HER! That post will be for another time! But anywhoooooo...

Me and My Husband's Anniversary was Thursday! I got us tickets for Creedence Clearwater! (HE LOVES THEM)! Here is a few pics of us!!!!!

Exercise

2011-06-08T11:14:00.000-04:00

So I have been super serious about exercise! I am up every morning at 4:30... down to the field for 4:45... I walk 1 1/2 miles.. then come to work a half hour early and walk some more! It is a great way to just give me some time for myself and clear my head!

I am addicted to walking!!!!!!

~Mandy

Staying Strong

2011-06-08T11:11:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone,

Hope everyone is well! Hope everyone is enjoying this hot weather we have been having! I have been super hot... and I really hoped that when I lost weight it wouldn't be so bad! I still sweat like a damn pig! It's disgusting! Ha ha... but on to other things...

Oh, the amount of stress on my plate has just tripled in the past week! Well, lets begin with another gain this week! Yeah only .4, but that brings my total to 2 lbs now... (GAINED)! My PCP told me not to worry about the pounds gained! As long as I am staying active and eating healthy ... I may be gaining muscle or maybe its water weight with the heat! I was told to check my measurements now... instead of always worrying about the numbers..

As far as my dad goes.... OH MY GOD! My mom broke down the other morning! It was so hard to see her break the way she did... My mom has always been the strong one, the rock..! It was really really hard to stay strong for her. Mom begged me to go to the Oncology appointment with them, she couldn't go through it alone!

The Oncologist is wonderful, she showed us the CT Scan and he has a total of 3 tumors. 2 on the right and 1 on left lung. The one on the top right lung is huge and takin up most of his right lung (reason of such difficulty breathing)! I am happy that the Oncologist ordered more tests (PET Scan and MRI) to see if it has spread! My dad will be starting Chemo and Radiation next week!

I finally broke down the other night and cried myself to sleep! I have been walking and it is helping to reduce the stress... but my stress level is through the roof! My PCP gave me some ativan to help with the anxiety and panic attacks...

I decided that for myself I was going to need some therapy! I really need to get some counseling! I have been through so much the past year.. major life changes and I don't even know who else to talk to! Most changes for the best... but now with my dad in the mix... this is just alot for me to handle!

So my first session is the 22nd! The best part about her (the new therapist).. she specializes in eating disorders! I thought it would be perfect since everything I went through with the LapBand!

~Mandy

Smile

2011-06-08T10:53:00.004-04:00

My smile... always makes look happy! But I am hurtin so much on the inside!!!

~Progress Pics~ & ~Unfortunate News~

2011-06-01T19:03:00.000-04:00

I did not post this past weekend! I was too busy CAMPING! One thing I love is Camping! I love being outdoors, sitting by the fire, most of all.....having quality time with my hubby and kids! We went Camping at Lake Dennison, we camp in tents! I love it! We bought a new tent that is a 3 room vacation lodge! It was HUGE!

So this week... hmmm Honesty HURTS! I gained 1.4! I knew I was going to gain, so its not like I was taken by surprise! I guess thats what I get for not exercising and eating "What I Want"!!! LOL. But I hope to take those pounds off soon! I began exercising again this week! I am up at 4:30 am and out the house by 5 with my mom to head down to Doyle Field. I walk a mile with her in the morning! I am tryin to walk a mile at night too... I need to work my way back up to 3 miles a day! I was doing good and feeling good at that point!

Truth is too though, this past 2 weeks have been HELL! My dad went for a biopsy last week! They punctured his lung and was having hell of pain! The Dr would not let him go home! Today he went for a follow up to find out about the results from the biopsy! Stage 4 Lung Cancer! Going to see the Oncologist on Friday! Most likely will be starting Chemo and Radiation. Ugghhh... really! Why did this have to happen to him! A wonderful man, who has a family who loves him and kids who worship him! I can't even believe it! I don't even know how to tell my kids! I am more scared for them than anything! Bumpy (my dad) is the man who takes them to the park, buys them ice cream, gives them gum when mum isn't looking! Tonight "Lincare" came (oxygen company)~ Bumpy will be on Oxygen from now on (at bed time and during walking activities)

So the pics are just a few random photos I took cause I was feeling good! Thought I had a few good hair days and was feelin "THIN" LOL! You know how you have those FAT DAYS!!! I was havin a THIN day! I am trying to get comfortable in my new body! Its still hard to get the compliments too!!!!

Things have been wonderful between me and my husband! We have been so lovable and flirty! I think with everything we have gone though and what we are facing now...Has made us realize how valuable life is and at anytime it could just be uplifted and scare the crap out of us that we may lose one another! Cherish every moment you have....!!!!!

Well take care,

~Mandy

Great weekend & 90 lbs gone!!!!

2011-05-22T10:55:00.000-04:00

I had a wonderful weekend! I went camping with my daughters Girl Scout Troop. Hannah, Natasha, and Me! We had such a great time! We stayed in the lodge, had great food, great company, and the kids were GREAT! It really helped me De Stress and relax! The girls had a great time...No-one slept, we were all up till 4 am. Woke up at 7 am... The adults were worse than the kids... Well, Me, Jenna, & Missy were worse than the kids! LOL. Up laughing, telling stories, jokin around, just having a great time! Great company!!!!

Missy, Me & Jenna! Our daughters are best friends!

I went to Weight Watchers' Friday morning since I would not be around on Saturday! I was really bummed b/c I really felt as though I gained this week! I feel so bloated and Ugghhh....(maybe just b/c of the week I had)! I got on the scale and was down 2.6! OMG Really! WOW!!!! I was super excited! I finally hit the 90 lbs mark! total of 91.4! Wooo Hoooo! How AWESOME IS THAT!

I guess now, I can rock this weight loss thing without my band! I am now more confident than EVER!!!! Thank you all for your encouragement and support!

~Mandy

Can I wake up from this horrible dream????

2011-05-22T10:36:00.000-04:00

This past month has been rough; but this past week has been worse! WIth everything that happen to me, being sick, removing my band, and finally getting back to myself... I thought the worse was over!

My dad has been sick, having alot of pain and thought he pulled a muscle. Went for x-rays to check for pneumonia..Nothing! Went back to the Dr's again...went for a CAT Scan... got a call later that night from the Dr. Dr. told us he has a few masses on his left lung with some lesions and a tumor on his right lung! REALLY! REALLY! WHY! WHY????? Biopsy will be done on Wed and then discussion of treatments and where to go from here! UUuughhhhh!!!!

Then Wed night (actually Thursday morning) 4 am.. my husband wakes up with pain. Pain in his chest! Call mom to have her come up to watch the kids, speeding to the hospital... They brought him right in, hooked him up, blood work, x-ray, Nitro, Nitro, Nitro Patch, Heprin, The whole works... Sent him off to UMASS... I am now freaking out cause they are assuming my husband had a heart attack. After a few hours and some more ekgs and eegs and everything else... he was diagnosed with Pericarditis. Inflammation of the heart sac. OMG!! THank god!!!

Friday my mom called and told me one of her little boys passed away (from her classroom).. He was 4 years old! He died of a high fever and seizure. So sad!!!! My heart melts for this family!!! My mom thought the world of this little boy!

Its just been a really rough week! Hoping for better times!

~Mandy

What a week!

2011-05-14T16:48:00.000-04:00

Well I have had an exhausting week! I went back to work on Monday! OH BOY! I have so much catching up to do (Paperwork)! I must tell you how nice it is though; I went back to work and the folks (developmentally/intellectally challenged) were so happy to see me! They showered me with hugs and kisses! It made me feel so good to know I make that much of an impact on their lives! I am so happy to get back into routine and I missed work so much! It is just great to be back!
So let's get to business! This pic over here on the left is me last week! I took this pic and was amazed at what I saw! I was looking at this pic and feeling proud of all the things I went through to get to this point! Going through everything I did... it was a HUGE eye opener! It really makes you cherish life for what it is worth!

I went to the Lung Dr. this week! I have a major NON SCALE VICTORY (NSV)... I am no longer on my inhalers for Asthma! This is HUGE! HUGE!!! My numbers are excellent! My Dr. could tell I was exercising cause my pulse and blood pressure were much lower than they ever had been! I am so much HEALTHIER! That is all I wanted out of all this! To be Healthy! Guess what.... I AM!

I must tell you how much I have missed "FOOD"! I am stickin to my healthy lifestyle though and making good choices! I am actually eating a meal! Not a few bites; A MEAL! I am still trying to stear clear of the Carbs!!! Those are my worst enemy! Cause I love them oh so much!

I have been walking! EVERY DAY I walk! I am now up to 3 miles a day! It takes me about 45 minutes to walk! But boy it feels GREAT! I love the rush it gives me; the way I feel after! It really makes me proud to know I can walk 3 miles! Then I come home and do a bit of resistance bands for some toning! I am getting into a great workout routine!

This week was my first week really doing this on my own again! Back to Weight Watchers! So I really thought I would have gained because of the amount of food I had been eating! I lost .6 this week! I keep thinking to myself it is better than NOTHING!!! But I guess because I was so used to the big weight losses every week, I was a bit bummed! I feel good though! I am proud of myself! A total of 89.4!! Wooo Hooo

Well I hope everyone is doing well! I have been so busy I am really falling behind on blogging! I haven't read blogs in about a week! Shame on me!

Well till next time! Take care and stay healthy!

~Mandy

Dr's Follow up & Shopping

2011-05-06T07:44:00.000-04:00

Hello Everyone,

Hope everyone has enjoyed their week and looking forward to the weekend!

A few Updates...Today was my follow up with my surgeon, I am happy to say I will be going back to work on Monday! I can resume all activities (nothing to strenuous) Also, he finally took out my JP Drain. It was really painful! I could feel it coming from my stomach and dragging its way down through my insides!!! It freakin hurt!!! I must say I am so relieved this is all over with! No more visiting nurses, changing dressings, emptying my drain, and walking around with a hand grenade attached to my body! (That’s what the drain looks like)!

When I left the Dr's office and got into the truck I cried! I wasn’t crying because I was sad; I was crying because I was relieved! Tears of RELIEF! This was a great 5 months (with my band) I tried it out, lost almost 90 lbs and now IT IS OVER! My Body will get back to Normal! The band gave me the JUMP START I needed! I have not been 180 lbs since I was full term with my daughter Hannah back in 2000! 11 years ago I was 180! At that time I was not comfortable with my body. Today I am comfortable, I don’t even care if I lose the last 20 lbs.. As long as I can MAINTAIN the 180 I will be happy!

I went shopping the other day! I have been on the search for jeans…I am sooo picky about jeans! I went to JC Penny’s, Sears, Old Navy, Fashion Bug, and back to JC Penny’s! I found 2 pairs of jeans…size 14!!!  I first tried on the 16’s and they were a big baggy and saggy in some areas. I did

n’t want to buy them cause I didn’t feel comfortable in them. I tried the 14 and the fit PERFECTLY! I can’t believe size 14 fits! I was glowing! My mom was so happy and said “Look at you, did u ever think you would be wearing a 14 again”? AMAZING!

Saturday we are going for lunch all the Mothers’ in my family! My Nana, My Aunts and Me! We usually do breakfast! Breakfast is not my best meal, so we will do Lunch!

Well Happy Mother’s Day to all you BEAUTIFUL MOTHERS! Enjoy your day!

~Mandy

I want to change my title (life after LapBand Removal)... any suggestions?????

New Day

2011-05-02T10:30:00.000-04:00

Good Morning!

Hope everyone enjoyed the weekend! It was beautiful here in Mass...

Saturday I went grocery shoppin with my mum! I still can't drive, so she drove us to the stores and helped me lift the things I can't! Then when I came home my husband cooked on the grill! I must say, I realized how much I missed Meat!!! We had pork chops and chicken and steak! Now mind you, I did not eat them all! In fact I only had a few bites of pork chops and steak! Oh How I missed Pork Chops and Steak!

Sunday I took the kids outside and brought them for a very short walk up the street! Just a few houses up.. since I don't have much energy to get a full work out yet! The kids were happy to get outside and enjoy the weather and ride their bikes!

So this morning I decided I would get on the scale! I usually weigh in at Weight Watchers, but I am not going til next week! I had to see what the scale said! I was scared..

I don't know why.. I lost 6 lbs...!!!!! Now I know I have been sick... but to weigh 181...yeah 181!!!!!

I was scared I gained. My husband kept tellin me I lost! I am skin and bones (except the belly region)! Ha ha ha.. Maybe LOOSE SKIN AND BONES!!! LOL!

I am started to feel a bit better! Last night I made Tacos! This was our Sunday dinner (forever)...but the past few months with me not feelin too great to eat.. I hadn't made them in a while! Well, the kids were happy I did.. and So was I!! I had 1 soft taco and boy oh boy it tasted so good! My Hannah Banana kept asking if it was ok for me to eat it! "Mom, can you eat that taco"? "Mom, are you able to eat"???

Well, I am now able to eat!!! I will now be really watching the Portion Sizes and Protein First!! I will take everything I have learned with the LapBand.. and keep on movin!!!

This morning - 1 slice toast w/ p.butter and 1/2 banana! Mmmmm... it was yummy!

Well my follow up with th Dr. is on Thursday! Hoping he will remove the JP Drain and let me get back to work! I miss work!

Take care,

Till next time!

~Mandy