Manel Blanco

Breaking the Scarcity Loop.

2026-03-09T10:19:00.000-07:00

The first step towards abundance is to break free from the scarcity loop. The cycle of scarcity is a somatic response that a mindset program or book will not change. It is written in the body, like any other programming that creates character and personality.

These programs are learned and memorised by the body in the environments that we are born in and reinforced by new experiences, people and our immediate surroundings. These programs constitute an invisible reality lurking underneath conscious awareness.

Scarcity is a Posture

We can repeat as many affirmations, learn mindset or read books, as much as we like, but if the body is broadcasting scarcity, even the best business ideas will fail. People don't lack talent, skills, intellect, experience or knowledge; we are building the house from the roof. But we are the architects, and we simply need to learn to build a solid foundation for the house to be solid.

By broadcasting scarcity, we are literally using all our bandwith to mantain it. There is no energy left for abundance. There are other states of being that exemplify this.

If you are reading this, you are probably interested in the subject or facing scarcity right now. Check you jaw, your shoulders or your thoughts, as it contributes to one posture or the other. What is your posture transmitting? You can change posture once you are aware of it, but the body will return to it again and again, because it is the default.

The Siege

Scarcity is a perceived threat that leads to bracing. It creates anxiety, and a tunnel vision that only sees the obstacle. Bracing against a threat is a natural protective reaction, but we are fighting a ghost that lives under a roof without the foundation, the house, and it is exposed to all kind of weather.

Bracing creates an invisible, energetic barrier that seemingly protects us against a threat, but at the same time it builds a cage that keeps the body imprisoned, and limiting the expression of the self. It's an structual leak.

It is not that no one is listening, but that we are not transmitting in the right frequency.

Stop Bracing

It is as easy to tell to someone to stop bracing or to stop worrying, as it is to tell someone who is enraged to calm down. It only creates more rage, more bracing.

There is enough information on how to relax, as there is on any other subject. So, why is everybody bracing and reacting, keeping themselves in the same loop, whether it is scarcity or anything else?

Ideas and concepts don't break the loop because they only satisfy and fill the mind, creating a placebo effect without lasting effects. Once the excitement of innovation vanishes, there is need for more information, more knowledge, more ideas. The excitement of new concepts and ideas numb the brace, but there is no somatic reset that makes it last.

A braced body can never feel safe; it creates a frequency that repels exactly what we are wanting to attract.

Scarcity lives in the body, and so does abundance, only that at a different depth. One cannot coexist with the other.

You are not lazy or lack the resources; you are just hooked into a program that overrides your natural state of being. Without the structure, we can only build a house without foundation that sinks into a hole, and the roof, where all your brilliance lies, keeps getting farther away.

Un-bracing

To stop bracing is to release the structural lock of your potential. It is a transition to a different state of being where the biology itself resets. When the siege ends at a cellular level, a new foundation becomes possible.

I am hosting a workshop to work on the specific somatic resets required to stop broadcasting scarcity and reclaim the bandwith of your authenticity. Scarcity has a biology; the freedom of your abundance, a different one. If you are ready to stop fighting the ghost, and start building the foundation, the door is open.

The first two workshops on high-functionality, plus bonuses for first subscribers can be found on this BMC link.

Photo by Julian Jagtenberg

Why Your Experience is Important.

2026-03-03T09:08:00.000-08:00

Experience is all a human being has. Everything else is temporary and additional. Experience never leaves us. It holds the knowledge of the body; and it holds the keys to the secrets of the self.

In a highly demanding society that requires constant performance and production, personal experiences are overlooked, even dismissed, unless it serves someone's purpose.

The Mind Holds a Memory; The Body Holds the Truth.

Your experience is full of seeds and treasures ready to be discovered. Negative experiences carry the seed planted in the moment. The memory and emotions attached to a negative experience eclipse the goodness and the positive part in those particular episodes that most of us forget, or at least would want to. The recollection of such memories is the shadow that prevents the light from entering. The desire to forget or to ignore it, prevents us from watering the seed. In most cases, we don't even know that the seed is there.

These seeds are not abstracts: courage, resilience, love, patience and a long list of personal attributes and traits that might not be used or seen.

There is Growth in the Shadow

There is no need to return to the scene or the time, to revisit the garden. The digging, the watering, can be done now and here, at any time. There is a different kind of memory stored in the body, and when realised, growth can be, inevitable and unstoppable with the right care, direction and intention.

Everyone loves to recall positive experiences, which certainly also contribute to growth and self-development. But these are the memories, traits that are known. The seeds of growth are buried in the unknown. In this case, the unknown is as simple as the lack of awareness of it, but it is there to be seen in plain sight.

Your experience is important because it holds the key to the doors the mind might have deemed impossible. It is written in the body. The body speaks a language the mind doesn't always understand. To listen to yourself is to listen to your biology. It is a law of nature. The mind creates the impossible. The body holds the writing. And both, can work together.

Why Your Experience Matters

If you find that spiritual insights bring only temporary relief without a lasting shift, the answer may not be in another book, but within the intelligent of your own body.

BMC is a space for those ready to move beyond the superficial noise of modern spirituality. We bridge the gap between abstract concepts and the truth of your direct, lived experience.

The foundation of Change: Lasting shifts in consciousness are roote in biological physiological harmony. Withou a Somatic Reset, growth remains a concept; with it, it becomes a reality.

I offer practical, grounded techniques developed through years of direct experience. My goal is to help you move beyond the 'drifting' mind and into your Magnetic Authority; a state where your inner reality remains steady and intact, regardless of your environment.

Reclaim what is real to you.

There are free one on one online sessions, free soul readings and Akashic records for first subscribers .

Natural Rejuvenation is a State of Being.

Photo by Paul Pastourmatzis

States of Being: A Radical Reclamation.

2026-02-04T06:44:00.000-08:00

You are currently inhabitating a frequency; a state of being. Whether you are aware of it or not, your posture, your breath, your internal narrative are all tuned to a specific state. Most people live in a 'fixed default', a prison of habit mistaken for personality. When it is said: "This is the way I am", someone is simply speaking from the gravity of a lower state that forgot to expand.

The fewer live in an intentional state of being.

Change the state, change the narrative and the flow of your life.

Some states make us, functional and healthy, while others keep us dysfunctional or unhealthy. Being aware of the multiple states we can experience is transformative and liberating. The awareness of this phenomena allows to embody functional states at will.

True expansion is not about rejecting the bad, and only embracing the good. It is about wholeness. It is about the conscious command of your biological and psychological flow. Most of the strengths we think we lack are not absent. They are dormant. You didn't lose your power; you just lost the frequency to access it.

How long before people realise that seeking these strengths from outer sources only lead to a lifetime of endless seeking?

The awareness to access a specific state makes it easier to deal and heal trauma, and improves mental health. The best part, is that many of these states are likely to be found in your experience.

As an example, rejuvenation is a recalibration of your biology at a cellular level. I have witness people shift their entire reality by simply remembering a frequency they held before. My work is to be the witness and the catalyst. I don't fix you; I provide the awareness that presses the buttons, connects the dots, and wakes up the Sovereign already living in you.

Join my new site, BMC, for the Natural Rejuvenation workshop and support meetings, if you are tired of drifting through the superficiality of social media spirituality.

I offer direct, practical techniques, forged in experience to move you beyond concepts and into the states of being where your Magnetic Authority and Sovereignty remain intact.

There is a generous offer for first subscribers at BMC.

No Fluff. No dependency. Just the tools to reclaim what is real and true to you. It is simple, fast, and empowering.

Natural Rejuvenation is a State of Being.

After the Pain, There is Love.

2026-01-02T07:49:00.000-08:00

Pain is unavoidable in the human experience. Everybody hurts at some point during their lives.

In feeling the pain, it's integrated, and in time released. It doesn't need a story, just to feel the pain.

The story adds drama and unnecessary attachment, and both create a cycle that returns in the most unexpected and unpleasant ways.

When we focus on the pain, the story dissolves. Eventually, inner stregth takes over, and growth towards a new version of the self inevitably follows.

The resistance to pain creates suffering, perpetuates the story, and forms an identity that walks the wrong path.

Scrolling, food, drinks, material purchases feed an industry that thrives in the avoidance of pain.

Feel the pain. Let it break you.

It won't break the whole of you. You'll return with more clarity, ready to write a new story.

There's love behind the pain.

Image: Chanwit Yasamut

The Stillness that Remembers You.

2025-10-08T06:48:00.000-07:00

Everyone is born with a memory of a place where we once belonged - a place our heart instinctively calls 'home'.

We forget it in childhood, but the feeling lingers within, creating a longing that we impetuosly follow.

Without it, we feel lost. Following desire, too often we enter the wrong homes. And in the wrong homes, we get truly lost.

So here is a reflection: We seek it in people, in houses, in different countries, in the pursuit of purpose. We open the doors to those who feel familiar, not realising that the feeling itself is home. In hope they stay, we let them to open the drawers of our closets, wander into sacred chambers that no one else entered before.

In time, we move the furniture to accommodate someone else's desires.

The stillness in which the soul recognises itself vanishes, and once again, we long for that feeling of 'home'.

It is in effortless presence, the whispers only we can here, that we return to the path.

The longing ends, the moment we invtie stillness once again. It is then, that we feel it in every breath, in every sound, in every gesture.

In stillness, there is nothing to seek.

Reclaiming the Voice of Your Own Body.

2025-10-01T06:17:00.000-07:00

Healing began with me. I stepped into the unknown. I made a firm decision a stuck to it every day for years.

I arrived there depressed, angry and defiant. I lived with a strong sense that my mind and body were clearly separate. I long for something different; something attainable, but I didn't know what.

It was in the unknwon that I found parts of myself I didn't think I had, or that I had lost. The expansion, the growth, happened in the not knowing. In the unknown, I found myself.

Entering the Unknown

I joined a seminar not knowing who the facilitators were or what methods they offered. I only felt a strong call to attend -impossible at the time, but determination made it possible.

A few weeks before the seminar, I already had a glimpse of what was coming. After three days without sleep, living on coffee and water, I experienced the most beautiful surge of energy flowing from my heart. It was universal love.

At my public introduction, I was asked what I wanted to get from the seminar. I didn't even know why I was there. Words started flowing without thought, and I asked to bring the mind to the body.

By the following morning, there had already been a powerful shift in me. I was once again in touch with my true nature -an amazing energy flowing through my body.

I had arrived depressed and lost. I left in bliss, embodying love and inner peace.

Transformation

During the work, I connected with people I would have never spoken to before. I not only learned to see myself and others in a new light, but I also enjoyed working with them. I became more understanding of people, more compassionate.

I learned to use my own experience to heal and grow. I realised that it was possible to embody different experiences in the present moment; that neither the past nor trauma had to decide my future or define who I am.

After the second seminar, I isolated in nature for a year. I walked day and night, embodying my own created experiences, growing day after day. Even though I advanced greatly on my own, I joined a third seminar. By then, I lived with an incredible sense of knowing. Everything I felt would happen during the seminar did happen.

By the end, I left embodying the most soothing state of higher consciousness, with the certainty of a new life. Finding it impossible to describe in words, I called it: I Am In Love. Not only did I find myself, I found God.

Integration

The experience of the seminars was different for everyone. Not everyone got the same results. The more one puts into the work, the more one recieves. It is that simple.

Ever since, I have been helping others heal and grow; privately and in small groups. After such a divine experience, there was no doubt this was my calling. I live with the conviction and the knowing that a new life is possible for everyone; a life of inner peace, love and clarity.

I also live with the knowing that we are here to help and heal each other.

My writing, the base of my work, has reached millions of people. I have done hundreds of soul readings, giving people a sense of who they really are, and I have helped countless others online and face to face.

The Deepening Through Struggle

Of course, there have also been darker periods, especially after a serious injury I suffered three years ago.

I thank myself, the facilitators, Claudio Naranjo -the man whose work created the seminars- and everyone else I encountered in life: every trauma, every happy moment. Without them, I do not know how I would have survived my most recent trauma or faced the consequences with the attitude that I can go through this too.

I has been during these difficult time that my work has deepened. I can not give more direction, explain these methods in practical ways and help others use their own experience to heal and grow.

I create and teach my own methods.

Healing began with me. In the unknown, I found myself.

And from that place, I now help others find themselves too.

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If my words resonate with you, I'd love to invite you to join my ongoing workshops on healing, embodiment and minset. Together we explore how to use your own experience for growth, with regular support groups, Q&A, and especial giveaways for early members. If you've enjoyed this blog, you can also support my work on Buy me a Coffee - every contribution helps me contiue sharing freely with thousands of readers worldwide.

The Embodiment of Mindset.

2025-08-18T22:56:00.000-07:00

The practice of embodiment as a method to improve the mindset provides powerful tools for personal realisation. It transforms knowledge into knowing. Knowing is what brings the shift in mindset by creating a holistic experience. There is no knowledge nor knowing without experience. In this case, the experience comes from within. The application of knowing is wisdom, which in turn generates personal growth closer to one's true nature.

Every experience creates a memory. Every memory is stored in the body. Most negative reactions arise from memories that even when detrimental are considered to be normal behaviour becoming in time part of character and personality. It makes sense to use the body to reshape and improve character and personality, as well as to reset and restore the body to a more peaceful state before a traumatic experience.

Negative reactions are not always explosive, as it could be an angry outburst. It can manifest as the more passive procrastination. In both cases, it puts a halt of an individual's healthy growth, as sabotaging the present. It can also have devastating consequences in body and mental health.

The embodiment of mindset opens new paths by creating a new direction; more choices. It brings a person closer to their true nature; a more authentic one. A new direction comes with a more relaxed pace, not necessarily slower.

It helps to create new, healthy responses that substitute old traumatic and unhealthy reactions, thus being a wonderful tool for healing trauma.

The Purpose of Embodiment.

A shift in mindset occurs after subtle changes. As opposed to traumatic experiences that leave what it feels as an indeleble imprint, a shift in mindset is softer, healthy and positive. The idea is to create new memories that reinforced, store a more empowering energy in the body. Natural, intrinsic energies.

The purpose is to learn how to identify it and access at all times, so as to function from a healthier and more steady stand point; to realise that the power, the courage, the resilience and tools that you are seeking are already in you.

None of the above can really be realised without embodiment.

All of it can be achieved by using your own experience.

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If my words resonate with you, I'd love to invite you to join my ongoing workshops on healing, embodiment and minset. Together we explore how to use your own experience for growth, with regular support groups, Q&A, and especial giveaways for early members. If you've enjoyed this blog, you can also support my work on Buy me a Coffee - every contribution helps me continue sharing freely with thousands of readers worldwide."

Self-Empowerment, Healing and Embodiment.

Self-Empowerment Through Embodiment.

2025-08-18T22:41:00.000-07:00

Embodiment is an essential part in personal growth. It is a vehicle to connect to one's true, authentic potential, which lies dormant in people's body.

Embodiment is to honour yourself.

The majority of people use their body as a vehicle that transport the mind from point A to point B with a series of automatisms. We have forgotten the body to live mostly in the mind.

Most people have a tendency to live in the mind, trying to solve problems, work out what the next step in life is going to be. Living in the mind is the cause of disembodiment and dissociation. It creates doubt, fear and as result, inaction. We have forgotten who we truly are.

The human body stores all the information that receives whether conscious or unconscious. Every word, every thought, every experience has an impact on the body, the present and the future. It is then stored in the body as energy; energies that shape character, personality, beliefs and behaviour. Trauma causes such energies to be reactive, resurfacing automatically before what an individual may view as a threat or a good experience.

From early childhood, the majority of embodied information is learned from other people, the environment, culture and the standard code of behaviour imposed by society. Not exactly the mould for authenticity. Whilst it is important to learn and follow the rules in order to function in society, it limits a human being's true individuality, expression and personal development, and with it, most possibilities for growth.

The assimilation of rules and regulations become the comfort zone, limiting the individual, as this is all we embody, neglecting and forgetting other parts of the self, that once natural and familar become alien to the self. Often moving out of the comfort zone is remembering who you are.

Embodiment is a series of conscious choices followed by multiple benefits. It is the exploration of life with a sense of control for a less reactive existence. It allows to embody concepts, expand authenticity or to modify and improve behaviour. It is a return to the true nature of each individual, which has been buried under multiple layers of information, rules and beliefs that mostly serve the uniformity of society, not the individual.

The purpose of embodiment is the restoration of an individual's intrinsic nature. As the more authentic parts of the self are restored, one separates from the automatisms that make the human body a vehicle that merely moves from A to B without thought or conscious choice.

With practice, it connects body and mind. Such connection allows for a more expansive expression, which in time has healthy and positive effects on character and personality.

It also opens numerous doors in someone's spiritual journey. Embodiment makes intuition stronger, deeper. The best part is that, as one regains control of the true self, limitations or personal growth is up to each individual. It is a creative process that helps to train the subconcious, as well as healing trauma through the experience of energies that replace and release the old ones towards expansion and renewal.

With every step of the process it brings a person closer to their true and unique nature.

It is a door to the present moment and all the possibilities that offers, to see beyond our limitations. Many of the limitations are either imposed or learned. With initiative, focus, practice and intention, anyone can create and design their own embodiment and healing practice. There is a method to achieve it, but there are no rules. It can be practiced anywhere, wear it like a suit anytime. It simply needs awareness to put all the elements of the process in motion.

Thus far, it has been the collective unconscious; the noise of the world that tells everyone who we are; what happens when a person decides to move beyond the imposed limitations. It is perhaps time to listen to what the subconscious self has to say, what it wants to create.

In time, embodiment changes everything that needs to be changed, as well as serving to reaffirm what it has to say. The beauty of it is, that the best parts of the embodiment process are already in your experience. Your body is full of wisdom ready to be tapped on. Are you ready to embrace your true nature?

Self-Empowerment, Healing and Embodiment.

The Embodiment of Mindset.

Join here to attend workshops, support groups, free akashic records workhops and other giveaways, or join the first event.

Transform Worry into Positive Energy.

2025-02-27T22:36:00.000-08:00

Worry is a natural human reaction before the uncertainty of the unknown. Whilst it doesn't bring anything positive, it leaves a negative trail that the body stores as an energy, becoming a memory of something that might never happen. Then, it becomes a destructive habit, as the memory causes reactions.

Worry stems from fear. It can lead to anxiety or depression and can cause sleeping problems. Worry can also manifest as headaches, stomach problems, fatigue, muscle tension or pain. Bad choices such as alcohol or drugs comsumption with the intention to relax are taken as a result of it.

Worrying is an energy, as love or joy are. Every individual is responsible for the energy they create. When it becomes a habit, one can perceive it as normal or natural. Someone might not be aware, but it can be challenged and changed for healthier, more positive habits that become the new normality. Challenging and overcoming the tendency to worry can have an amazing impact on attitude, character and behaviour, and as a result of it, to create a new reality. All it takes is awareness, focus and consistent practice.

Worrying can be paralysing. Exercise and body movement are great steps to challenge fear. Compound exercises, such a push ups, squats, deadlift or step-ups open up the adrenals, releasing adrenaline into the body and bringing new energy. These are only a few of the compound exercises that can be used.

Lifting weights and getting the body stronger leads to more confidence, better attitude and a different perspective. Pay attention to your posture. Posture not only says a lot about a person to others, it sends a message to the self on how you feel.

Avoid sitting for long periods of time. It has negative effects on body and mind. The human body is designed for more movement than the modern way of life promotes or allows. With any exercise, consider age and personal history. Too much exercise or too strenenous the effort, can result in injury or prolongued fatigue.

If considering compound exercises, there are two important factors to consider: protein intake and hydration. It's important to hydrate before, during and after. Muscle training breaks protein, dehydrating the body, which could lead to fatigue. It's essential to consume enough protein before and after exercising, as well as a balanced diet.

Use deep breathing to relax and calm mind and body. Deep breathing also raises consciousness, making easier to change thoughts and find solutions. Take deep breaths throughout the day. Shallow breathing causes anxiety. Meditation, mindfulness or yoga are also wonderful practices to calm the mind and gain a new perspective.

Stay active. Whether you're taking on chores or more creative activities, staying active and movement are wonderful resources to challenge worrying. The more movement, the more energy that flows to mind and body. Worry is a low frequency energy that influences feelings and emotions.

Take regular breaks, get the necessary rest and pace yourself. It's important not to overdo anything, especially when beginning to change habits. Doing less, but well can bring more positive results in the long term than doing too much, as it can lead to exhaustion, demotivation or fatigue.

Unclench your jaw. The jaw not only stores energy in the form of tension, but stops the flow of energy that moves through the body. Open your mouth as far as you can and close it slowly.

Take one day at a time. Consider every day as the rest of your life. If today was the only day you have left, what would you do? This approach excludes what is neither essential, nor important.

Think of ways in which the situation can be resolved and take action. Inactivity and lack of action leads to more worry, anxiety and depression. Take practical steps or learn new skills to solve any issues that might be causing worrying or anxiety. Start today. Start small and for short periods of time, then take breaks or rest. Repeat.

Stop talking about problems. The body keeps the score and stores any negative talk or thoughts in the form of energy, creating more worry and anxiety. Keep the talk and thinking positive.

Be creative. Think of ways in which life can improve and take action. Be kind to yourself. It's natural to worry. Sometimes for a good reason. Changing the pattern seems easy and simple in theory, but habits are deeply ingrained in the subconscious, which is the difficult part to change and the reason people return to old habits. It time, with awareness, consistence and practice it gets easier.

More information for practicals methods and tools on self-empowerment on this link.

Connecting the Dots to Move Forward in Life.

2025-02-13T06:14:00.000-08:00

Connecting the dots is essential for in personal development and find solutions in life. Everything that is needed for transformation is already in life's experience or it can be recreated. Søren Kierkegaard said that "life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward.

Past traumas, experiences and memories condition an individual's life narrative phsychologically, emotionally and physically, creating their character and personality, influencing thoughts, emotions, habits, beliefs, attitude and the entire spectrum of what a person becomes.

It does affect the relationship with the self, as well as the ones with others.

Connecting the dots could prove a difficult task, as the story is being told repeatedly. A simple memory can trigger the same effect. Memories are stored in the body as energy. Fifty per cent of what's remembered is not actually the truth. As time passes by, stories are embellished, details added, making the energy stored more powerful, causing repetitive reactions when faced with the same or similar experiences in the present.

It's a cycle difficult to break. The fact that memory is distorted in time doesn't mean events didn't happen, it simply makes it harder to change the narrative.

The present moment offers infinite doors to solutions. It allows to challenge past situations in order to witness the situation from a different perspective, so as to recreate past experiences that produce empowering energies, as well as releasing the ones already stored towards a future more in accordance with a person true nature.

The amount of possibilities for a better performance in life increases the closer one is to their true nature.

Anyone can rebuild their emotional body by using their own experience, practising simple methods and removing other practices that lead to the same place time and again. First, to stop repeating the same stories, and find instead, safe people and places where the story can be told without judgment and the intention to heal.

The reason there's no development or improvement is that the narrative is leading itself by the inertia of past memories instead of being written. This could lead to living with a sense of powerlessness and hopelessness or the feeling of not having control.

Body movement, mindfulness or breathwork help to connect to the present moment. Awareness is also an invititation to the present moment. Akashic records can contribute to revisit the past and bring a sense of renewal.

There are other resources and methods that anyone can adopt, adapt and improve in order to make life a more energised and clear future in ways that can be embodied and become part of the self.

Any moment is an opportunity for rebirth, to embark in a more empowering narrative that has yet to be written. One dot at a time.

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Join my new site, BMC, for the Natural Rejuvenation workshop and support meetings, if you are tired of drifting through the superficiality of social media spirituality.

I offer direct, practical techniques, forged in experience to move you beyond concepts and into the states of being where your Magnetic Authority and Sovereignty remain intact.

There is a generous offer for first subscribers at BMC.

No Fluff. No dependency. Just the tools to reclaim what is real and true to you. It is simple, fast, and empowering.

Natural Rejuvenation is a State of Being.

The Akashic Records (Free Workshop)

2025-01-22T04:51:00.000-08:00

The Akashic Records can be a wonderful tool for spiritual growth and personal development. The best is that anyone can use it anytime, anywhere, although it's possible that there's need for guidance at first.

Here there's an opportunity for a free Akashic Records workshop for those wanting to experience it for the first time or as a reminder.

It can be used for reviewing the past in order to reach a better, deeper understanding of the self or for exploring past lives. It's a good vehicle to understand karmic patterns.

It can also be used for:

Spiritual growth and self-development, finding purpose in life, as a life guidance, providing insights, supporting intuition or a deeper connection with the self.

It's always a different experience for everyone, which means that it's open for interpretation and perspective. What doesn't make sense today, might be eye opening tomorrow.

There are two workshops with limited spaces on February 26th (8.30GMT) and February 27th (4.00 GMT).

It's an offering to any new subscribers to Patreon in January in addition to the monthly events and exclusive content. This workshop is usually priced at $40 usd. It's suitable for people interested in healing and personal growth, whether spiritual or not -see 'Practical Spirituality' at Patreon. The events offer a deep and wide explanation on different topics for personal growth in a very simple and easy language to understand.

Anyone interested can either subscribe or contact me directly on gmail.

Some of the next events at Patreon

'Natural Rejuvenation as Self-Empowerment.'

'Going Through The Dark Night of the Soul.'

'Walking to and Living in the Unknown.'

Natural Rejuvenation is a State of Being.

2025-01-10T06:33:00.000-08:00

We are constantly moving through different states of being. You are experiencing one right now. Most are accidental; natural rejuvenation is intentional. It is a state of awareness and the application of basic biological principles that the 'wellness' industry ignores because they are too simple to package and sell.

Most people use meditation as a band-aid for stress. I used it as a surgical tool for biological reconstruction. This is the difference between 'feeling better' and actual rejuvenation. When you connect the dots between practice and biology, the body remembers. Once the body remembers, this state can be embodied at will.

The Evidence: Forged in the Fire

My knowledge was not found in a book; it was forged in a systemic collapse. I suffered a serious injury, organ damage, and a total lost of vital energy. I lost my business and saving in a single blow while taking care of a pack of four dogs alone.

I watched my body age twenty years in two months. Conventional medicine offered monitoring, but no solutions. I didn't look for a miracle; I looked for Biological Logic. I rebuilt my body from the ashes.

Your Body Remembers

The key to natural rejuvenation is already stored in your body. It is likely that you have already experienced if not all, most of the stages that make it possible. Now, all you need is the awareness that presses every button and connects each dot.

The Reality: The Depth in the Detail

Rejuvenation is not a mindset. It is a recalibration of your biology; rejuvenation at a cellular level. The transformation lies in the details; the small shifts in mood, focus and vitality that create a physical evidence of internal alignment. This process strips away the frail states of anxiety and depression, replacing them with a hard-won clarity.

Mind Rejuvenation

The rejuvenation occurs at a cellular level, having the same effect on the mind. With the mind and the body awake, there is more clarity, improves psychological and emotional health. It creates the right conditions for inner peace, and presence follows.

Presence is a vibrant, calm state of being that changes the optics of the self, and the world, making it possible to transform circumstances and reality.

The offer: Reclaiming your Life

What I share is built on more than a theory. It is a combination of experience, practical techniques and personal development tools designed to deepen your understanding of the aging process and how to manage it with authority.

The journey is clinical. The results are profound.

This information cannot be found anywhere else.

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Join my new site, BMC, for the Natural Rejuvenation workshop and support meetings, if you are tired of drifting through the superficiality of social media spirituality.

I offer direct, practical techniques, forged in experience to move you beyond concepts and into the states of being where your Magnetic Authority and Sovereignty remain intact.

There is a generous offer for first subscribers at BMC.

No Fluff. No dependency. Just the tools to reclaim what is real and true to you. It is simple, fast, and empowering.

States of Being: A Radical Reclamation.

Write to a Healer.

2020-03-11T07:44:00.002-07:00

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How Giving Oral Sex To Women Benefits Men In Relationships.

2019-09-01T01:46:00.001-07:00

Men giving oral sex to women seems to continue being a taboo subject, both in discussions and in practice. It's a well known fact that the number of men skilled in the art of pleasing a woman orally is low. Women's complaints of neglect and lack of ability echoes all around the world in a period in which they had enough and decided to push for equality, as well as what they believe they deserve. The message is loud and clear for those who want to hear. These claims are what everyone without exception should have.

It's a fact that understanding women has been, and it still is today one of men's obsessions, as it is true that most men make little to no effort to explore a woman where it matters -not just her body-, so as to access this knowledge that can only be reached through a different kind of connection to what we had so far. A more sensual and humane approach. We have to meet women in their terms; the feared unknown. It's not possible to understand any individual or an entire gender by neglecting and ignoring their needs. How anyone could think that the understanding of a woman can be reached while ignoring such vital part of them is beyond reason.

Every woman is different, so even though it's possible to reach them all in certain ways, there is also a complex individuality that make the magic formula impossible.

The only logical reason not to give oral sex to a woman is because she has suffered genital mutilation, in which case, her body will adapt to be more sensitive to penetration, so as to enjoy it more, as well as to have orgasms. Female mutilation doesn't have the effect intended by men, as the human body is much more intelligent that any human mind, adapting to circumstances. In other words, a woman who has suffered genital mutilation can still enjoy sex very much.

None of the reasons given by men to not go down on a woman have any credibility. Claiming that the smell puts them off has an easy solution. In an intimate relationship one should be confident enough to ask for something as simple as cleanliness if this is the case. Intimacy requires a certain level of maturity in order to cover the basis of the relationship. Some people like it dirty, some people don't. It's as simple as asking. This is just an example of a reason given by many, but in essence, men who do not give oral sex to women simply do not like, nor respect that woman enough.

Giving oral sex to a woman benefits a man in ways that can only be understood through the experience of actually doing it. Life is about experience. Too often we dream of an adventure thinking that it's far away, when the adventure is actually right in front of us.

It's not a mechanical act. If a man wants the woman to respond, there has to be a level of trust. Mechanical movements might give away the impression that the giver is not interested or just wants to get on with it and finish. It's not a chore, but a passionate act of love. Hardly a woman would open up and let a man access to her deeper secrets if he doesn't really want to know. There are many ways of asking and not all of them are verbal.

It's important to consider the rest of the body, not just the clitoris, the labia or the vagina. It's a multi-tasking act that requires a man's full attention and intention. Attention to her body movements, in what direction she moves, how and why. In many ways she's silently directing the man towards what he has to do. A woman knows that a man wants to discover and find the mystery by himself. Women are far more instinctual and intelligent than what men would like to believe. The first time with a woman, oral sex might not reach its peak, as this is yet to come. This should not be discouraging and it's a good idea to swallow our male ego and admit that we're learning; that we don't know everything. There will be more opportunities to continue exploring her body, her sensations, her climax and how to lead her there.

Not knowing and allowing ourselves to learn is man's way to face his vulnerability in a playful way, which makes it more fun and easier to learn. Vulnerability does not always have to be a scary experience.

As every woman is different, the hands also play an important part, not only in her vagina and clitoris, but the rest of her body. On this she would also direct a man towards what she likes and what he should do. In most cases men do tend to ignore that a clitoris is just a part of a whole body, and that by stimulating it, we're also stimulating the rest of her anatomy.

There is no rush to get to the end, and as a man observes and pauses, he will gain more confidence in his skills. Oral sex turns into a synergetic experience. It's normal for a man to feel hesitant or fearful of his ability to please a woman in such way due to lack of experience or previous negative experiences, what can lead to rushing the act, therefore, the patience of a learner is necessary, as well as the curiosity of the adventurer. An observant man will soon realise that the woman is leading him towards the openness of her body, her climax and to a part of her self-expression that she doesn't show to anyone else. While she's enjoying it, she's not in a rush. This is a playful moment in which two people learn to communicate sensually and instinctively.

If a man is observant and patient, he will soon realise that he is doing things that he didn't know, which is natural in every adventure. At this point, not only is he learning about her, but about himself. It helps to develop emotional, as well as sexual intelligence.

While the man explores, getting to know this woman, she's most likely to lead, but it's also possible for the man to do so whether he is familiar with her body or not. Take into consideration that what humanity lacks most is touch, and when this is given with love during the sexual act, the level of satisfaction can only multiply. This is the reason why foreplay is essential in order to get to know each other's bodies, to begin to trust, to observe and familiarise with the other person.

A woman would allow a man to lead when he shows initiative, and if directing him, she would do so in the most subtle manner.

As the act advances, -the first or the fifth time-, a more confident man can only deliver a better service. At one point, when proximity and intimacy grow, this woman would begin to feel and have sensations that she probably never had before, also learning parts of herself that she had not previously experienced. This can be explained as simply as no one took the time to touch and reach her to that point.

Oral sex with the same woman can be different each time. There is a tongue, lips, finger, hands, sound, breath, words, movements and pause. Oral sex is the art of exploration of a woman's body and her sensations. It's a fact that the world suffers from lack of intimacy, but also receiving, as people are often conditioned to give and please others. Once a woman has reached the point in which she is open to receive, it's not only oral sex that she will accept, but other parts of a man who have not been expressed that far. In this part of intimacy, a man is planting seeds for a new universe to appear between him and a woman. Not all women are as receptive from the start. It does take care, love and trust to reach that point.

It doesn't only affect sex or oral sex, but it leads to more open and intimate relationships and conversations, which can be conducted in a similar way. Patience, trust, observation do help to recognise the right timing.

Pause alone can lead two people to a different dimension provided they're both in tune with the sensations of the act.

One fact that might surprise most men is that while giving oral sex, they do develop parts of themselves such a patience. While doing it is arousing, in the waiting time, a man gains what is required to last longer during sex. Rush is not a good friend in sex.

Being able to please one woman might allow to please other women, but as there is no magic formula, he would have to learn again the mechanisms and movements. There are, of course, men who can please most women orally. These men have taken their time to explore, learn and actually enjoy it. The effect at the first interaction will never be the same. Intimacy and in this case oral sex can be a magical journey that improve the quality of sex between two people if the time is taken. Something else that a man might want to consider is that no one else will reach there; not before, not after, hence, it's worth taking the time to care about the person who chooses to have sex with us.

Oral sex or any other type of sex that so far has been considered an act to please the self and others has incredible ways to open up new worlds for both men and women, if we choose to pause and look at the other person with the same care that we would like to receive ourselves. The fact is that it doesn't end in just oral sex. When new sensations arise, new worlds emerge and this can only cause a person to expand and evolve, and if done together, it can lead to an incredibly solid relationship, which is not just based on sex, but love, respect and the natural curiosity to explore the other person.

It does also help men to explore and develop sensuality and playfulness; two aspects that men seriously need to develop.

If we don't know more about our partners it's only because we don't take the time to explore ourselves or others. This is due to the automatic pilot fuelled by self-righteousness and the urgency to be always right in order to hide our insecurities and limitations.

There are more benefits for men in giving oral sex to women than the ones mentioned above, but let her lead you there, and allow yourself to find out. She will definitely open up, but can you?

Needless to say, that oral sex is not the magic key to keep relationships going, but as a couple become more intimate, it begins to open doors leading towards people's needs. It's worth taking the time and discover who our partners are if we want a relationship to be successful.

Finally, this blog post is written for men, and with the intention to serve as a guidance that encourages men to explore new aspects, ideas and perspectives in sexual relationships, as as to contribute to improve and achieve better relationships between men and women. The key to success is getting down to it and find out. We have reached a period in history, in which men have to choose between being a man or continue being boys. The choice is always yours; and it's this choice what would make a difference in your life.

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Women's International Day: Women Transforming The World.

2019-03-11T09:01:00.004-07:00

It's incredible, although not surprising that there's still a large part of the population opposing feminism and the demand for equality for men and women. The reasons men believe to have to oppose such change is based on unfounded fears of what might happen the moment women reach equality and respect, as any other human being would ask for. We're asking for human basic rights, not the submission or exploitation of the male population. Someone might want to check what equality means. There are so many wonderful facts to share about the role of women in transforming the world, so as to create a society that serves everyone's needs. It might be understandable to a certain extent that men, and some women oppose the unstoppable change that's coming, but to remain uninformed in the age of information is nothing but utter ignorance.

Women's rights are human rights, as it is the rights of children and men.

We're well past the times in which ignorance was considered to be a blessing. There's nothing blissful when what it is demanded in many cases is a matter of life and death, and in the case of hundreds of thousands, even millions the consequences that women must carry for the rest of their lives after being subjected to sexual aggressions.

Last year Women's International Day caught me in Murcia, south Spain, where I arrived with the intention to stay only a few days. It didn't take me long to decide to stay a bit longer. After living England's apathy for 25 years and another period in France, spending time in Murcia turned to be a blessing.

There was a significant difference between Women's International Day in Spain and the rest of the world, and media offered an extensive coverage of the events taking place. Women went on strike to show the world, what life would be like without their participation. It was certainly noticed and noted. On the day, there were demonstrations with a large number of women protesting and claiming the right to equality and a life without fear and violence.

What differentiates these events from any other protest or demonstration was the energy that women infused in the city that day. Not only they raised their voices to claim what's just. At the same time there was a celebration of being a woman, and all together in the streets they showed the world one voice, one love. Together. Anyone could tell that the energy of the city had changed. It was colourful, vibrant and powerful. Yet, at no point there were violent incidents, nor anyone felt threatened by it.

The lack of violence or disturbances should raise some questions in the most sceptical. The answers are simple. Women are advocating for a world without violence. A fair world that provides for everyone, and in which we all feel safe, in order to life a happy life. Anyone opposing equality can ask all the questions they want. The answer always lead to the same place: a nurturing world in which kindness, love, creativity or cooperation to name only a few, are the norm.

In the patriarchal society we live in, these values are, somehow commended, but competition, greed and violence are leading the world to its end instead. It's a cruel world based on the obsolete values and rules of a system that is no longer necessary. Everyone loses, not just women, although this seems to be a truth that most people do not quite understand yet.

As I norm, I give these blog posts a more universal voice that reach both, men and women, as the intention is to deliver messages to those who are seeking, thus there's no point to differentiate between genders. This one is to women. If you happened to be a man reading this, you must be seeking or are simply curious, so I hope you find in these words new ideas or information that may change your perspective. If only one man begins to change the way we see women, patriarchy and the damage that is causing to individuals and the collective, this time spent writing was worthwhile.

There's a large number of men opposing feminism because we're afraid that we're going to lose our 'rights' inherited from a patriarchal society in which male domination was the norm, and women, subhumans who were placed on earth to serve the needs of men. The fear of losing such rights shows in some men as a tantrum who for many reasons have not developed empathy towards others, not just women and who want to continue with the world as it is for selfish reasons, not understanding that there are better ways. We believed what the patriarch told us without giving it a second thought.

We men believe that when women achieve what they're demanding now, we're going to be treated as women have been treated throughout centuries; that we're going to be the recipients of an illusory revenge. Revenge is male thinking and nothing, but a naive belief that lives in seriously misinformed men. Anthropologists who studied matriarchal societies stopped their studies because they found no evidence of hierarchy, violence or conflict due to unfair ruling, therefore, it was not interesting to continue such studies. Lack of all these issues in a matriarchal society doesn't give any material for sensationalist headlines.

This fear is based on the fact that many women had to adopt a series of masculine traits to make it in a man's world. It could be argued that these women have lost somehow part of their femininity, but no one can claim that they're no longer women, they just did what they believed they had to do in order to succeed in their lives. It's a cruel and unfair society; no one escapes from becoming what we're not and that includes men too.

Men have also adopted some traits of what today is described as 'toxic masculinity'; traits that do not have much to do with being a man.

It is a fact that not only men are worried about what changes a more equal society may bring. The system is worried too. As the world irreversibly is changing, corporations and governments are on their toes observing and waiting to see what happens next. Men fear to be excluded, a theory that is misinformed and which some pressure groups are promoting. Corporations fear that an ethical economy might be established, and governments do fear to lose influence and the power to control the masses that they have to this date and the current hierarchical systems allow. All together fear a more conscious society and the rise of collective consciousness.

This is a lot to fear, as it leads men to the gates of the unknown, a territory in which we have not managed to move comfortably. It's also an opportunity for every man to embrace the best part of themselves, so as to serve, support and create a world that meets everyone's needs. In the end is matter of perspective and it's easy to reach out for the known topics and clichés. We're not so courageous after all, as we have not gone deep enough in the beautiful adventure of personal and collective transformation. This begins with individual transformation.

To serve and support the world is a move from individualism so well promoted by patriarchy and neoliberalism, as it contributes to separate people. Moving from individualism towards universality is a way to expand showing leadership and taking responsibility for our actions and how they might affect the collective. It's also a move from the selfish needs of the ego towards a better society. It doesn't mean that anyone must deny themselves their needs, nor sacrifice their wellbeing, but to aim at living in a society in which everyone thrives in abundance, instead of the current system that promotes lack and separation.

The amount of benefits for everyone is countless, but we won't see this until we allow equality and freedom to reign the world. What kind of person negates freedom, equality and their human rights to another person? The answer is simple: a very small one.

If only men knew to what level of submission we do exist under a patriarchal and hierarchical society, every man would be on the streets demanding equality and a major transformation in society. But we don't. We only think we think we know.

Years ago I wrote that women will change the world. This is a fact, as women have such ability and it's a matter of time they see the incredible power of transformation they have, both individually and collectively. Women do have something that can't be quite explained in practical terms; a closer and deeper connection with the soul.

But it's not only with the connection with the soul that the world changes to what is supposed to be. Women are also proposing practical changes, such as education or an ethical economy; changes that will only benefit the collective and everyone in it.

Perhaps the most important part in such transformation is what most people are missing, the fact that once equality for all and the rights and safety of women are achieved, what we're going to see is not the masculinised woman who had to play hard to make it in the world, but a new kind of woman who thrives in freedom and love. We have not seen this woman yet, not collectively at least, and this is a vision worth working and waiting for.

With these changes, we're also going to see a new man. More and more men are moving towards the transformation that's coming, a new and equal society. It's not only women who desire this change.

One of the biggest difficulties that we face as human beings in the transformation of the world towards an equal society is that people do not take the time to be informed, choosing instead to rely in the cultural misinformation, -not that it contains any culture-, use clichés as absolute truths or personal experiences, such a conflict with an ex-partner to define a collective. This can be seen in politics when people decide to vote headlines full of lies, false promises that are never delivered, and lacking a clear knowledge of what a political party proposes.

Such outlook on life denotes a clear lack of leadership in individuals who still believe that the authorities would do what's necessary to provide for the needs of people. It has never happened and it will never happen. Thus, people prefer to live an unconscious life, as long as reality doesn't affect them, even though, every day we experience the consequences of our fearful choices. To live an unconscious life might seem the right choice, as the impression is that everyone is doing it, therefore it must be the right choice. Many are separating from this approach. The unconscious has never brought any good to the world.

Personally, I can't wait to see that day. Perhaps the only note before ending this piece of writing is that women need to include men in this transformation, a different kind of man, maybe, but we need to be included, but this is a subject for another day. The world is going to need everyone's contribution in order to change.

Finally, we've been following a system in which women were disempowered centuries ago, being excluded from any decision making in the development of society. It seems to me that it's a good idea to consider a new system. This one is not working, and it's not working because under the current one, no one is free. Not even if you're a man and think that you are.

This transformational process is unstoppable, and people must decide whether they want to be part of it or not, whether they want to live in a free world or not. There are many things that we men are not telling women due to fear of not being enough or being criticised. It's a matter of looking at what we can do now differently, not at what we did or what we believe we are right now. Our current beliefs might have helped us to get to what we are now, but want take us to where we want to be, nor will show us who we really are. It's called taking responsibility, to look within and show our most authentic self. Being authentic and responsible, no one desires the submission of others. In freedom, we thrive. Are you thriving and living or just surviving?

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To book an appointment email: manelblanco14@gmail.com

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The Suppression Of Free Will And The Search For Love And Freedom.

2018-12-13T11:18:00.000-08:00

Free will is a given at the moment of birth. The interpretations that humanity may give or have given to this universal right might differ depending on personal interests or that of the collective, often small groups of power, which by manipulating or by influencing the rhetoric, create a series of the beliefs that often deplete or remove altogether someone's true power. Your power! There can be discussion about it. We can philosophise on the subject until the end of time; but no human indoctrination can deny the divine in free will; it's intrinsic to the human being. It's in our spirit. To deny someone's free will is to deny yourself.

When free will is denied with the intention to receive something from someone against their will if necessary, it might be possible to feel an immediate sense of victory, satisfaction or power. The truth being rather different. A small victory turns into a defeat that only serves to accentuate a character flaw and the fear to lose control over a person or a group of people. Several facts are ignored at this point, and that is that even if you get what you think or feel you want or need immediately, you're also missing the best expression of that person, as well as initiating a process of separation that may never end. A person who's manipulated to do anything against their will might comply at the time, but they might never trust you again. Whether the person who's been coerced understands what's happening or not, people learn and evolve from hardship. The truth can never be hidden. Truth always finds a way to speak up, to put everything and everyone in their place.

Only when someone feels free to express themselves in a non-threatening environment they'd offer the best version of themselves. There's much interest in making people believe that the individual doesn't have free will, as it brings an immediate sense of power. Power based on fear is not power.

Fear of love.

In a world where the majority of societies act more like cannibalistic parents taking more from their subjects than they give, it leads people to accept a reality of scarcity in which to constantly look to improve living conditions, mostly focused on materialism that cover basic needs and others luxuries available or comfort one can get their hands on, free will sounds like a dreamer's verse lost in the wind.

Usually when writing about a subject, I tend to speak of the whole -people-, as within each subject it's possible to encapsulate, if not all, a large amount of people who might be struggling with such issue or another subject that relates. In regards to free will, it includes everyone. The power to stop it or allow it, as well as the power to use it.

Being free also involves allowing freedom in others. It's essential that we provide for our emotional needs. Seeking such fulfillment from others is not freedom.

The loss of free will begins at birth. Some people, the most courageous and daring do their best to keep it despite of the negative consequences that they probably have to endure challenging the status quo at the hands of their parents, the school system, the church or the authorities. It's the first sign of free will, and one that can lead others to desperation, as such individuals are uncontrollable.

The evolution of society and human rights have been possible due to the rebellious involvement of a large number of people who didn't hesitate to go against the stream. Those people often paid a high price, such as their freedom or even their lives in order to break through a series of laws, beliefs and traditions that denied humanity their most basic rights. Moreover, people all around the world continue paying the same price.

To live a happy, free life is for the majority of people an act of rebellion. The loss of free will most likely begins at birth, although from the beginning, and for different reasons, parents will influence the choices you make or where your future is leading. Such manipulation doesn't necessarily come from malice. It's likely to be born from fear instead. It could be over-protection or the simple fact that parents don't know better. In any case, it's a challenge that contributes to shape character and personality. Within any repressive system, being human, you will encounter one or another regardless of who or where you are, you also have a choice. If it feels and sounds of freedom, you're on the right path within a supportive environment; if it doesn't, it's your task to make it so.

The debate on free will comes with hard truths difficult to accept. To realise that you at one point of another might have coerced or even removed completely the free will of others might not be easy to accept. Within the current flow of the collective unconscious, there's an overwhelming need in the individual to control their environment in order to live with a comfortable level of safety. Any type of behaviour that might challenge your emotional needs turns into a threat, for which reason we use every possible line of action to 'bring people to their senses': in other words; we manipulate others for selfish reasons, so as to make sure that one keeps feeling safe and comfortable.

Free will is suppressed in order to avoid any change, coming from people whose lives are have become stagnant, whether they've achieved a certain level of comfort and safety or not. Often people's comfort zones are the most uncomfortable, but as they've not known a better reality, it's fairly easy for them to accept it as the best reality they can reach. Anything or anyone that threatens such scenery will be attacked, and their free will threatened.

The suppression of free will is not be be taken lightly. Everyone is born with a series of gifts and talents. Whether the childhood of the individual is pleasant or not, the pre-established roots of society do have a powerful effect on people, as free will and personal expression are suppressed or restricted, encouraging instead an education that prepares people to reach and maintain a certain degree of functionality throughout life.

When free will is suppressed, it causes depression, anxiety, loneliness, melancholy and it can develop into more serious psychological problems, or even lead people to suicide.

Free will is essential in the development and growth of a person. It's suppression is the major reason of neurosis in individuals, which at one point or the other in life reach a breaking point. There used to be the so-called middle age crisis, which people hit at a certain age, but this process seems to take over much younger people, whom frustrated by the impossibility to express themselves in all spheres of life find themselves at a dead end too soon.

It's not that people's dreams die, are not pursued or forgotten, but that we forget that we're the dream while feeding the machinery of a system that doesn't provide room for self-expression. There's neither time, nor the means to achieve these dreams, not to mention to pursue them, while sacrificing mind, soul and body in order to reach a certain level of financial safety that allows us to attain a safe place within the established uniformity.

The genius everyone is born within lies dormant within, not turning up for life as it's not required. It's essential to recognise that society doesn't allow individuality, and that the 'individuality' that has so heavily promoted over the last few decades is giving form to dysfunctional characters that want to be seen, seeking the attention and validation they didn't have when we were growing up from the world. This is clearly represented in the cult to the self that seeks as many followers in social media, where people show the happy highlights of their lives, but never the real reasons why they need attention, nor the traumas or the absence of love that isolates them.

This phenomena can be summed up as lack of love. Lack of love from others, followed by the ability to love ourselves, nor the ability to express free will or a creative personal expression. In the process of suppressing free will, there's also a heavy suppression of the creativity of individuals who have been educated and trained not to be so.

The genius within each individual is always there, although for the great majority, connecting with it seems to be an impossibility. The truth is that everyone is born with the ability and talents to reach a wonderful stage of self-expression as the world has not seen, but as we're too occupied regurgitating in our minds the messages of the noise of the world, which only speak of not being enough, or a mediocre future that has been mapped out for us all the way from birth, people do reside in the energetic field of impossibility.

In my work with clients, whether in groups or individually, as well as numerous encounters with people in different capacity, I've witness substantial changes in people by pointing out the many gifts and qualities people have, as well as reinforcing each one, so as to 'rebuild' their character and personality. It's a tragedy that in adulthood people have to reach out to therapists and other wellbeing professionals in order to reconnect with the best version of themselves, learning tools and processes than most people already had from birth, but which are not used due to the multiple and constant messages of impossibility or the endless reminders that everything is difficult to achieve.

Being yourself might be difficult within the current society, but it's simply a different kind of difficult, nothing else; one that embraces authenticity and which would inevitably makes life better, as well as improving levels of health and wellbeing, not only in the individual, but in those around.

The difficulty in being yourself lies in the limitations imposed by others and that people have heard since an early age until it somehow became part of a false truth we embody. While everyone's personal truth certainly is something else, people don't miss a chance to remind us of such limitations and false truth. There's a successful version of yourself waiting to be embodied, one which leads to a life of joy, love and success. It's necessary to revert this situation by living a more authentic life, one that responds to the dreams and desires that lie at our core. If more people don't follow this path, it's only because we've become too accustomed to this old version of ourselves, reinforced by family members, friends and society, which immediately disapproved when someone shows any signs of change, improvement or a new type of behaviour that challenges what's already established. It might not be or feel easy, but it's certainly possible.

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I have two openings to take on two more clients in order to assist and resolve processes in personal transformation. There's a more detailed account of the process in services or you can contact me directly: manelblanco14@gmail.com

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Why Some Men Turn Their Lovers Into Mothers.

2018-12-10T11:21:00.001-08:00

Sometimes relationships are denaturalised, losing their essence and purpose, when the woman consciously or unconsciously becomes their partner's mother. While mothering and nurturing may be natural in a woman, it's often the case that such turn occurs in a response to the needs of men. It's not a woman's desire to become their partner's mother. The relationship becomes unequal, the male partner begins to be triggered by the same or similar situations he previously experienced. There's a risk that along the way the man turns into the worst version of his father, as he may relive childhood's home dynamics.

It's essential to mention that this is a common occurrence in relationships, and that the intention of this blog post is first, to make it conscious, and second; to find solutions.

It's also necessary to emphasise how important it is to remove the tendency to find blame or fault in either partner. Blaming others in any situation ruins the possibility to perceive the lesson involved in the experience. A relationship is a two way partnership, for which there's also a natural, unconscious inclination in the woman to fulfill this role.

The problem roots at the birth of patriarchy. We're simply following the inertia of a mandate created at a time where the needs of humanity might have been different for survival. Women were disempowered, while men began to separate from the divine masculine, or the good qualities of masculinity. Qualities that could be regained anytime a man wished to.

That men might be unconsciously entrapped within an obsolete set of rules, beliefs and patterns of behaviour without an enlightened direction in regards to what to do, doesn't serve as an excuse for have low we've fallen. Patriarchy doesn't have a mother, but numerous bad and absent fathers. This is a father who's severe, tyrannical, controlling, bad tempered and devastating in his actions. No woman would have imagined to create such a tyrannical system or at least not at the time when patriarchy was believed to be necessary.

As a consequence, women were removed from any decision making. The absence of a nurturing mother who's free to educate her child -humanity- with the more feminine elements, such as love, kindness, patience or creativity created a race of individuals feeling incomplete and unworthy, and a number of paradoxes. Self-confidence, -which has been substituted by assertiveness- is one of the qualities of the divine masculine, a trait that men rarely embody, as we've not been given, neither the tools, nor the teachings to know it or recognise it.

At the time, women stepped aside, -it must be said that forcibly- to become the servants of angry men who became somehow dehumanised by separating themselves from all things emotional. One of the reasons for such anger is man's inability to access feelings or emotions fully. Being deprived of feelings and emotions, men can no longer recognise their true essence, nor identify a true purpose in life. We might know that there's more to life than what we experience or that we're capable of doing better, but lack the tools that would allow it.

It's not that men are not emotional. We are. It's the inability to recognise and fully feel those emotions.

During childhood, men are told to be confident and in control, but never taught how. This is, of course due to the fact that the men and society reinforcing this belief don't know how to be it either. Asking children to grow to be something we're not, might be humanity's try for help. One way to create the illusion of control is the emotional death sentence that 'boys don't cry'. Crying is a human being's natural way to release unwanted and unnecessary emotional energy, which means that by not doing so, energies are restored within the body, creating layers and layers of energetic films, creating a negative attachment to damaging memories.

The false belief that boys don't cry has become a living entity of its own, and it's unavoidable in a boy's experience. Whether it comes from family, friends or the environment, he will feel pressurised to train himself to neither feel, nor to express emotions. From sadness to joy, all emotions will be then repressed, creating a separation from the feminine and mother. This is bound to create an array of misunderstandings with grave consequences.

The fall of men is the separation from heart and spirit.

With women excluded from all important decisions, they somehow complied, either willingly, in order to stop their children from being harmed, or by coercion. During this long period of silence, women held on to the most sacred, nurturing within and among themselves the keys to the divine, which would allow a more humane society that serves the needs of everyone.

It's not a secret that women mature earlier. Women have somehow become providers of all things intangible and what's lacking in today's society. It's an invisible glue, that men in our ignorance insist in dissolving not really knowing why or for what purpose. In the case of men, the lack of emotional maturity leads a man to seek in their partners, not only a lover, but an understanding and nurturing mother, while in reality, what we want is a friend

Patriarchy's fierce division of gender has also assigned universal qualities to either male or female; qualities that to which we must now return and learn in order to become better people. Such learning is in principle fairly easy, becoming easier, as we recognise and then identify with kindness, love or empathy, seeing the benefits that brings into the experience of everyone.

The child within appears during the first stage of the relationship. It can be appreciated in the lively energy, spontaneity or creativity. While this is a wonderful period in the relationship, there´s also a risk that the childish attitude remains throughout, and what was funny or charming once, might become repetitive or annoying, as the in-love phase ends. It's also possible that the neurotic part of the inner child comes to life once the relationship is not all play and love, and as the dynamics don't follow the desired state of love, it provokes negative reactions. The neurotic child reacts when everything doesn't go their way.

The lack of emotional maturity in men plays an important part in the process, being unable to deal with the mundane of daily life, as society's demands require to be met. This phase would be the equivalent to the fall from grace or coming out of the womb, when in a way the child is being left to provide for their own emotional needs, as the mother is no longer all embracing. Although subtle, it could cause feelings of abandonment and rejection, or both, which might be triggered the moment the honeymoon period is over and the lover is not always there. The emotional turmoil can be paralysing, and as this man might not be equipped to process his emotions, another set of emotional reactions come into play. In order to seek the lover's attention, they become needy, constantly demanding love and attention. At this point, the man becomes codependent, seeking the comfort that satisfies the child within, even if what's requested from their partner might be sexual pleasure. The fact that a man may request something that in appearance appeases the adult, makes it more difficult to recognise the child running the show with his needs.

It's important to recognise the feeling, so as to be able to process it and overcome it. There will be lack of self-confidence and the realisation that they're not in control, as feelings and emotions become overwhelming. An essential step forward would be a conversation that allows to explore intimacy by expressing vulnerability. Vulnerability within the couple builds intimacy, allowing to further get to know each other, as well as the self, and setting a new array of emotions leading to a sense of knowing. The problem might be the individual doesn't allow himself to be vulnerable, as the general belief is that of weakness and losing control.

Unfortunately, the root of these traumas are not easy to see, as it happens at an age in which we do not hold on to memories as we identify them in later years. The answers tend to be easier in practice, provide the individual is willing to challenge and change their set of beliefs. The difficulty lies in the emotion storm that might follow, and in processing such emotions without resorting to the usual coping mechanism, which does not help the individual either.

Seduced by the false belief that boys don't cry, nor show emotions, children run away from the love of their mothers at an age in which they're still needing emotional and nurturing support. It's the child that closes the door to love, nor the mother, therefore it's not surprising that as an adult, the man unconsciously seeks that love he can identify himself with.

Women got and keep getting the worst part of the deal, -to put it mildly-, but it's not only them who suffered the dreadful consequences with the birth of patriarchy; men do suffer too, we just like to think that we're not affected by it; that we're in control while we're not. It had to come to the point in which feminism has entered what it's called the fourth wave, for men, manhood and what represents, to hit a wall of insecurity in which seems that being a man is close to be synonym of evil, for these beliefs to be challenged, so as to reconsider what being a man really is. It's clear that role of man needs to be redefined, but also acted upon new, healthier ways.

Patriarchy has created a system that moves and functions on invisible forces, hard to recognise with the purpose to create uniformity and obedient workers that perpetuates a weak society that serves the needs of the powerful, whom are at the top of hierarchy. If at some point in your life you felt that you're not important or special enough, within the patriarchal society, you're not. There's no interest in you being or feeling special, which is paradoxical, because important and special is what we all are.

As the best qualities of masculinity and the feminine are repressed, it's impossible for a man to learn to be, not just a man, but a good person without making all sort of mistakes, often induced by a set of wrong beliefs that places women, children and the rest of the species in a place of servitude, but it should never be an excuse for the atrocities that men keep committing against women, children, the planet and other living creatures. We might not know much or enough, but we do know better.

A relationship is the perfect platform to grow as a person knowing each other, as well as ourselves intimately. If at any point we feel inclined to turn our partners into mothers or fathers, is due to an emotional lack experienced during childhood. While it might be an issue now, there are healthy and fast solutions as individuals explore intimacy, learning from the loving and nurturing qualities that can be found in such spaces.

Cutting the cord from a mother requires an process of understanding one's personal development. There are exercises that are recommended to cut the cord with others, but such exercises are futile if there's not an in depth study of our character and personality, having acquired and developed a series of mechanical habits to simply survive in the world. Any exercise requires a emotional shift that creates a new feeling and vision. If it is too mental an exercise, it won't create the change expected.

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I have two openings to take on two more clients in order to assist and resolve processes in personal transformation. There's a more detailed account of the process in services or you can contact me directly: manelblanco14@gmail.com

A related article:

The new man: Embracing the divine masculine.

The New Man: Embodying the Divine Masculine.

2018-11-28T12:06:00.000-08:00

Humanity is now facing the hard truths of what meant to be living under the dictatorial rule of patriarchal society. It's not clear when patriarchy started, but what's obvious is that everyone is suffering the consequences. Old patterns no longer serve anyone. As a result, men lost touch with whom and what we really are, being perhaps the most traumatic, the loss of intimacy from childhood to adulthood. Traumatic because the lack of touch with out most intimate parts affect negatively the relationships with have with the self, other men, women, children and the rest of world. The resources to change this reality and move into the new man that the world is in so much need of are available.

If the significance of loss of intimacy is not clear, it means that as we don't know who we are, we cannot be understood by anyone. It keeps feeding a deep personal trauma that we ourselves do not reach to comprehend, as men continue defending at all cost an identity based on false beliefs. It's the discord between what we feel, what we express and what we do that aggravates the trauma, until individuals no longer feel or know who they are, sometimes with grave or fatal consequences.

Perhaps the most relevant mirror in which men had to look into, having the most effect in the changes that are about to take place is the #metoo campaign, which has awoken the world to the truth of a reality that everyone knew about, but no one talked about. Masculinity has been shaken to its foundations, and while there were already a large number of men creating and promoting change, the wave of anger and discontent has taken us all unprepared. One of the best ways to support this change, now unavoidable, is to immerse in male intimacy, a field that has been plagued by obsolete beliefs and patterns of behaviour that cannot longer be the basis of a healthy proposal, not only in relationships with women and the world, but in the relationship that men have with ourselves.

Intimacy as an agent of change.

The importance of understanding men in intimacy in all our relationships: the one we have with the self, women, children and the world, will allow men to propose the foundation of a new society. No longer men have to do it alone, as the equal vote and contribution of women has become essential to create a world that serves the needs of everyone.

In order to be able to know what these changes are, we have to get to know ourselves intimately, to know what inspire us, what we truly want, what triggers us, so as to understand why we've led the life we have, and most importantly, to rediscover every positive quality and attribute of masculinity we have not been able, neither to nurture, nor to express under the false and interested mandate of patriarchy.

Patriarchy doesn't have a mother.

Let's understand patriarchy as an absent father figure pushing throughout the centuries using only the toxic elements of masculinity that so much devastation has caused to men, women, children and society as a whole. Let's also see it as an invisible force functioning on unwritten rules that have been followed, as humanity remained dormant before the constant threat of fear and the distraction that represents to make ends meet in an unethical world where there never seems to be enough for everyone. With the threat of scarcity constantly hovering over our heads, it's almost impossible to allocate time to engage in those important matters that would have made men wonderful human beings.

One of the consequences that men had to face in patriarchal society has been that it didn't allow us to get to know ourselves intimately, as it denied the much necessary energetic balance in every human being. For centuries, men have been encouraged to be providers, with the image of the hunter/gatherer being promoted until no longer holds true meaning, nor makes any sense. We live in a society, which has enough technological advances to provide for the wellbeing of everyone, only denied by the illusion of the rat race by which everyone is absorbed. We grew up in a society of disempowered mothers.

The illusion led men to having to do everything within their power to find jobs that pay enough. Enough having lost its meaning also. There always seem to be need for more. During this period, society has lost values and/or any resemblance of morals. It gets worse! Most of these professional positions come with status attached to them, as well as a false sense of identity in order to be enough. No matter what the game is, the precarious state of the professional environment devours self-confidence and our sense of being.

Before learning the new ways, we have to be aware of the old, negative patterns and how have affected us.

Society's demands on perfection, productivity and most recently image puts an unnecessary pressure on everybody, successfully targeting our core: the heart and everything that it represents. It's no wonder that men, and more women compete against each other day by day, removing every sign of being humane. Being human or a good person is not encouraged. These days Utopia has been reduced to living from the heart, and who knows, maybe Utopia has always been just that: living from the heart.

It's the dehumanisation of humanity, and sadly; we're all buying into it.

The proposal to change this force, which now seems unstoppable, is simple and much easier to achieve than what we've been led to believe. Every man is a leader. If we have not seen it represented before, is because leadership has been defined by beliefs and qualities that only served the system and submitted others at the same time.

Change occurs when doing something differently. never 'if' we do it differently. That men are as fed up and exhausted of living under the dictate of a patriarchal society that only feeds the needs of those based at the top of the hierarchical system is a reality. The problem with this, as well as the reason why it has not changed it's because we've believed for too long that the same people who benefit from our hard work, energy and efforts are the ones who will bring healthy and responsible solutions to create a society in which everyone enjoys wellbeing. It's time to take initiative and to follow through.

Embodying the divine masculine:

Men have good reasons to seek change, so as to find our place in the world. As children, we didn't want to grow up to live under a hard, fictitious shell that in appearance in may prevent us from harm, but that at the same time doesn't allow us to express who we really are. Most boys, and now men, do not want to become the standard man that society promotes, and which is shaped in most cases due to peer pressure, molding our character through repetitive experience and a society that wants us all to be the same.

The proposal here and now is a personalised course in order to unlearn the old, and replace it with the new. During this personalised process the individual would be able to learn how education, culture, relationships and an old set of beliefs and patterns have contributed to cram their lives with disempowering obstacles, as well as how to develop a course that serves their immediate and long term needs.

This course is available for men, women, as well as couples interesting in growing both together and individually. One of the obstacles that women face in relationships is not understanding their male partners, as in why the act as they do, while at the same time seeing their true potential, but not knowing how to encourage change.

The study and implementation of the Divine Masculine is intended to explore the good and positive qualities that holds, as a powerful transformational tool. It´s never too late to grow personally, and contrary to popular belief, people do change. The embodiment of the divine masculine is also a process full of surprises, as men do experience not only a positive change towards the self, but discover long time dormant qualities within, and the pertinent effect that has on themselves, their relationships and the world.

For information on this course, please write to: manelblanco14@gmail.com

More information on the Divine Masculine

The Divine Masculine: Embracing Masculinity.

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly

Men's International Day: Uncelebrated and Unmanned.

2018-11-22T11:39:00.002-08:00

Every year, November 19th is the designated day for Men's International Day. The intention is to celebrate the achievements of men who are making the efforts to improve the state of the world and the well being of men. Not a sound was heard around the world this year, perhaps because men do not feel as we have anything to celebrate, or at least not much. It's not that there´s much to shout about after witnessing the crude reality of the #metoo movement, and what's the real state of society; what we´ve become as beings. Somehow we've fallen into an existential limbo in which we no longer know who we are or what direction to take. Not that we knew it before, we just lived under the illusion that we did.

There are different ways in which to interpret such lack of interest. Although there's a debate about what it means to be a man in the current times, and a lot of men are doing good work to tackle the issues that so deeply and devastatingly affect society, it's not yet enough. More men need to join.

Over the past few months, it has become obvious that the role of men, as it was encouraged to be by patriarchal society, needs a radical change. Despite of this fact, there's a large number of men opposing feminism or equality in fear that our fates will be dominated by women. Perhaps this is one reason why there's not unity among us to start a new and necessary dialogue. No matriarchal society has been been rule by a hierarchy. It's not in women's nature.

There are important issues to discuss, such as male suicide or depression that it's spoken of in lower tones. These two issues alone are unspeakable among men, as it's not the way patriarchy meant it for us. No solutions can be found if men affected do not join the dialogue. The truth is, patriarchal society has a strong grasp on everyone, both men and women, even though we experience the consequences of it in different ways.

Women simply had enough of years of suppression and submission. The demands they have are the natural ones that any human being would desire for a safe and peaceful living.

In the case of men, the consequences we experience are more subtle. Living under the impression that we're in control, that patriarchal society favours men over women or children because of our physical superiority or the false belief that we are the owners of reason is a story we liked to tell ourselves for too long. We might have liked it, but never enjoyed it, as there's no truth in such statement. The lie got to big, now too obvious. In so many ways we feel powerless to introduce or implement changes.

And if men feel and are powerless is because since the beginning of patriarchy we're believed in a power that is not true power. We've never seen, nor experienced true power.

The time has come to realise that within the parameters of patriarchal society we're mere servants to a hierarchy that neither has a face, nor a name. Patriarchy is an energy, and this presents the first problem. Most men do not join a conversation that proposes holistic solutions to today's spiritual decline, with the inevitable loss of values that allows a fair society.

What energy means in this case is, that we have been following the same programming for such so long, that the people involved in organisations and institutions of power already function under a strict set of beliefs and patterns of behaviour.

At this point, there are a number of questions that have to be raised. Why do men use our vital energy to fight the inevitable rise of women until everyone becomes equal? Why are we men not doing enough to stop violence against children and women, if everyone has a mother, a sister, a daughter, a female partner, a girlfriend or a wife? Why do we men so willingly join institutions which sole purpose is to kill other? The perpetrators are not always others. Someone has to be committing these crimes.

But in regards to men, there's another important matter to discuss: why are we not using our vital energy and resources to create a more equal and better society for us as well. When someone wastes energy and efforts in sabotaging someone else's purpose, they're sabotaging themselves, as one of the paths to happiness is creative, not to destroy. It's easy to destroy. Anyone can do it.

The masculine has wonderful qualities, most of which are not used, for the same reason mentioned above: by inertia we follow the patterns created by patriarchy without questioning it, and if/or we do, we fail to find, create or propose solutions.

The unseen part of the issues that affect men is that, the men who are taking their lives or falling deeply in depressive states are ruled by emotions that we can hardly explain, as the separation from the heart -a legacy from patriarchy-, the most important organ that allows human beings to process feelings and emotions in healthy ways have been suppressed in men. This is a fact that can be observe in children everywhere. Continuing with the tradition, boys learn from older boys that boys don't cry, thus learning to cover up their emotions, which in the long term puts them at risk of becoming depressed adults that commit suicide when the see no end to their well hidden emotional problems.

A new education is necessary in order to change the upbringing of male children in a more holistic and loving society, as well as male adults that face such issues. Another of the problems society and individuals face is that people still continue to believe that government and institutions will provide for such answers. They won't, as they follow established rules.

Men's lack of interest or unity during Men's International Day should serve as a sign that we do not have a voice; that we might boast about manhood, our achievements and how fearless we say we are -without belief- over a couple of beers, but when it comes to important matters, we've been buying the message of a dysfunctional society in which everyone lives under one form of neurosis or another.

It's man's refusal to admit that we're indeed vulnerable that does not allow people to enter more profound states of being, in which we begin to recognise who we really are, by remembering that we all once had a dream that does not match the current race of dog eat dog chasing money in an endless competition that leads nowhere.

We are beings powerful beyond measure, but in order to rediscover such true power, first we must begin to recognise our vulnerabilities. Being vulnerable is part of being human.

It's every man's responsibility to ponder on all these issues and many others that affect the individual, society and others, so as to find the inner strength, which we do not use, even if we think that we might do. It's time to come to terms with reality and admit that we're bound by imposed limitations, and that this is all we belief. The old saying 'every man by himself' is no longer valid. What's to become of a society that doesn't have unity because we're losing all values that guarantee the universal rights of every human being are respected?

The people who suffer, are as human and have the same rights, as those who make them suffer. To believe that we live in a civilised society that is clearly chaotic, cruel and cannibalistic is both, naïve and irresponsible; truly two characteristics that do not match the idea of being a man. It's perhaps time that men lose their fear to ask for help and find other men and resources that point in the right direction towards a more conscious and equal society.

Patriarchy is falling to pieces, it's now everyone's turn to choose who's falling with it.

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The following blog post provides information where someone may begin.

The Divine Masculine: Embracing Masculinity.

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly

Seeking and Finding Your Twin Flame.

2018-11-16T14:58:00.002-08:00

The search for the twin flame seems to be one of the main objectives for a large number of people. In order to understand this popular figure, who seemingly has acquired the status of indispensable in order to enjoy a loving and fulfilling life and relationship, there are several blog posts, which explain the process, as well as a book that shares all the necessary information to reach what many people believe to be a stage of completeness. Completeness with or through another person.

The decision to write about twin flames came after realising the general misunderstanding of the subject; a fact that became obvious through multiple correspondence with readers, even before giving it written attention. It was never meant to be a major theme in this blog, nor had I the intention to write a book, which came to life due to reader's demands.

The original intention, and one which remains, was to share concepts, tools, processes and experiences that could contribute to the healing and personal development of individuals and the collective. With this is mind, a large number of blogs posts were written on the importance of themes like truth, kindness, trauma, sacred sex or vulnerability to name a few. Since then, more than hundred and fifty titles have been shared with the public.

What's become obvious during this period is that a large number of readers focus their attention on twin flames' posts, while other articles that are perhaps more important remain ignored. At this point, it could be argued that people are free to choose the subject they're interested in, while disregarding the rest.

Finding the right partner is wonderful. No one should settle for less than what they want. However, the popular obsession with meeting the twin flame causes to neglect looking deeper into one's own healing process. The trend shows the belief that love and happiness is only possible with another person. Not only this, in this case it has to be specifically the twin flame.

First, there's no guarantee that anyone will meet their twin flame in this lifetime. In many cases, the only guarantee that people have is that a 'psychic' said that they will. This is a poorly option for a guarantee, especially after paying for the information. Often, the twin flame is identified in a person who's already in another relationship, someone they might have an affair with or feeling a deep connection, creating further frustration and a more frustrating sense of worthlessness. Furthermore, it reinforces the belief of worthlessness, lack or being not enough, as the figure of the twin flame becomes unattainable.

Let's not forget that the power of auto-suggestion is so high that we can convince ourselves of anything. It's a fact that we see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear. Without going into the self-critic mode, everyone has experiences of focusing their attention on something or someone, to later on realise that we might have been wrong in placing all our efforts on such targets. Any obsession can make us blind to the rest life can offer. When or if the obsession lingers through a long period in time, the result is the ignorance of not seeing or the unwillingness to see.

At the same time, other important aspects in the healing process are abandoned. A large number of current relationships are simply mismatches born out of loneliness. There are steps in the inner journey that individuals have to go through alone. Call it loneliness, call it solitude; this is a period in which someone learns not only to provide for themselves while single not only the material, but the emotional and spiritual, creating also an intimate bond with the self in which they merge with abstracts such as trust, truth, etc.

The purpose of the inner journey is to get to know the real self through reinforcing confidence, opening to trust, showing strength through vulnerability or to remain loving despite of lack or adversity, creating a new feeling based on knowing; to remember those qualities and gifts we once buried deep in order to protect the most beautiful parts of the self from a cannibalistic society.

Try and meet the twin flame or any other lover or relationship without trust, without truth, not knowing how powerful vulnerability can be in the inner journey. As per vulnerability, paradoxical as it is, there's a great misunderstanding of how powerful it can be. Popular belief says that it makes people weak, when in reality it does the opposite. The purpose is to be vulnerable and still remain loving, while experiencing perhaps a cocktail of buried emotions, such as jealousy, pride, envy or wrath, none of which belong to the real self.

Being vulnerable allows to form healthy boundaries. Being hard only serves to create inflexible walls that thicken the bars around personal prisons and neurosis. It's the result of having lived for centuries in patriarchal society under the false belief that only the strongest survive. It's the most adaptable, not the strongest.

The idea of meeting the twin flame, the connection, the magic that comes with it, the fireworks that go along with might bring a satisfying view of a future with a new lover, but it's precisely the image of the horizon dreamed in a ecstasy of togetherness and the happily ever after what causes the blindness.

There's much of the Disney fairy tale in the search of the twin flame. Would readers be interested in a blog post on the reality of fairy tales without the Disney imagery and how it relates to present reality or how it would help in the journey of the hero? Probably not.

This blindness is the unwillingness to explore other territories, which are essential in the inner journey in order to reach the promised land. The objective is to arrive at a better understanding of the self in relationships. It's essential to recognise one's own trauma, and not only understand how it has affected us, but how it contributed to the creation of character and personality, so as to see how we function on the world.

Making the unconscious conscious allows to recognise what beliefs and ideas have led us to create inflexible patterns of behaviour and the relationships we have with ourselves and the world.

It's necessary to learn how patriarchal society has affected each individual, both men and women, in order to begin to remove wrong beliefs with the purpose to find inner peace. So far, the world has touched the surface, but it's distracted by entertainment. While I agree and encourage the in the inner journey one has fun, not all fun is entertainment. It can be appreciated in the new age movement and the language that it has developed in which everything is love and light or positive thinking, which without clear methods only delivers 'enlightened' messages, but neglects to identify or treat or heal trauma. While dancing, singing and positive thinking may attract other loving and positive energies to entertain the occasion, it fails to reach the hidden gifts within the human being, as it remains based on the belief system of the Christian tradition.

A clear example that illustrates this point and for which no ignorance is ignorant enough to allow any individual to face a twin flame or any other type of lover, is that at the first sign of love, the inner child appears again. Knowing which processes and/or understanding how life experiences affects us is indispensable to build a strong and healthy relationship. Once love appears, the child wakes up, and with it, vulnerability inevitably follows. During the honeymoon period one doesn't have to be concerned about these issues, but one of the reasons the honeymoon might turn to hell, lack of interest or apathy is due to people's tendency to return to the same patterns and habits of fear and indoctrination.

It's essential to know what triggers you in order to avoid the same destructive patterns in relationships.

One could consider that their habits and patterns of behaviour are not that bad after all, that we're intrinsically good people. No one wants to think otherwise. But if this is the case, why is it that the loving actions of people can cause so much hurt in others? From parents, to siblings to friends to lovers, everyone has experienced someone's cannibalistic, with the consequent wound or trauma.

While I've written extensively on relationships and will continue doing so, the purpose of this blog has always been the processes of the inner journey. It just happens that relationships are perfect platforms to explore the inner journey. The journey of the hero, as it's classically called, might be filled with darkness and painful times, but it's also one of self-discovery in which the possibility to meet the twin flame exists. However hard or difficult it might be, self-discovery making issues conscious makes life easier.

Ignoring the unconscious doesn't mean that the trauma is not there, nor makes the problem go away. Not to mention what happens at the time of meeting a new lover who's already deep in the inner journey, what can result into an authentic savage experience that would likely end in separation, to leave us alone once again with a trauma that it's now visible.

This blog post is not to discourage, nor to point out what anyone should do, but to encourage others to take the plunge into the inner journey and follow the necessary steps as they see appropriate. After all, everyone's inner journey is unique.

The truth is that conformism and apathy plague humanity.

In addition, the downfall in the search for the twin flame is that he or she could well be a friend of the same sex, a family member or someone who nevers appears, as people might be seeking from the comfort of their living room in their day dreams. This amounts to a life wasted in hope of a dream that has more to do with popular culture than reality. Another negative aspect of this may be that people may live an unfulfilled and unexplored life waiting for someone to arrive to safe the day. One the twin flame appears, each issue that has been ignore surfaces revealing the best and the worst in someone's personality. The problem with this is that there's no place to escape to other than ending the relationship. Say goodbye to the comfort zone in their presence.

It is in the study and self-discovery of intimacy or how patriarchal society imposed a set of neurotic beliefs in both the individual and the collective, that help people to evolve. The more evolved people are, the more attractive they become to others, growing in confidence, knowledge and wisdom, while removing beliefs and patterns of behaviour that they might see as obstacle towards self-realisation. As we evolve, grow in knowledge and wisdom, we become more acceptance of what is, gain in presence enjoy more the present moment and perhaps realise that twin flame or not, a wonderful love story with them is also possible. I cannot think of a worse or better excuse to never love or allow ourselves to love than waiting for the twin flame to appear.

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon.

For soul readings visit this other page.

More on twin flames: 'Twin Flames: A Love Affair.'

Sacred Sex: The Growth In Sexual Energy.

2018-11-14T12:41:00.002-08:00

There are numerous references to sexual energy and the power that it contains for personal growth, although they rarely are followed by stories that illustrate the transformative power within such energy. This is one of those stories. In every story there's a moment in which anyone can break from the past, so as to begin to write one more in accordance with the limitless possibilities of the human being.

The life we lead is determined by the choices we make. What matters is what we do, and how we conduct ourselves once we dare to make the choice that serves as a diversion from the usual responses and reactions. From then own, it´s the unknown; a space in which we can begin to get to know who we really are.

Years ago I met a woman who later on insisted in visiting me. Let´s call her Sarah. After several conversations I agreed to meet her again, despite the fact she had not let go of a toxic relationship or at least the idea of it, for which she had too many questions that have no answers. In any relationship, knowing how to be present dissolves any toxic element that people might carry in their luggage, as if it never existed, therefore, I didn't see a problem there, nor I see it now. When the present takes over, past and future dissolve. It's as logical wanting to find answers, as to realise that at times we don't need them, that we do not need to understand everything. Why people do what they do, why they leave relationships without apparent reason hardly helps in the process of healing and self-knowledge.

We fell in love as soon as we saw each other again at the train station early in the evening. We both knew this was coming. After leaving her luggage, -both material and emotional-, we headed to a wonderful restaurant with a male client I was working with at the time. This client had difficulties engaging with women, so I felt that it would be ideal for him to have a conversation with a woman in such an intimate environment. And it did!

Back home, intimacy created the loving atmosphere that the presence of another person didn't allow at the restaurant, even though the subtlety of it was obvious. The choice of a public place and the presence of a third person, as well as other people in the restaurant only encouraged between us the playfulness and complicity required for intimacy to grow; to learn to wait while enjoying the present moment. Then came the first dance, the first touch, the first kiss.

There was neither need, nor rush for more than this, but when I got back to my room she was already naked. I had provided a different bedroom for her. Choices! As I like to sleep on the floor, my bedroom was the only one without a bed. Definitely not an environment that invited to further explore physicality, nor sex. What happened next was a long, long preambule that later on and very naturally would turn to sex.

Foreplay extended for a long period. When she suggested that it was time, that she wanted me, I climbed on top of her. Penetration was the next obvious movement. Even though she was willing, her body rejected the idea, at which point she told me, -apologising for it- that she wasn't dilated enough. I looked her in the eyes, lingering for a minute or so on top of her and said: "I'm going to fuck you anyway." Yes, I said that, while smiling mischievously. Sarah didn't react to my words. Both her eyes and body language surrendered, accepting that I could do anything I wanted. After all, I was a man on top on a naked woman who had put a lot of emphasis and energy into getting to this moment and took her clothes off without even asking, so why not go for it?

I laid down next to her, stopping her attempt to apologise. No one should feel obliged to apologise when they're not ready to engage in a sexual act. When one of the partners is not ready, neither is the other one. Trying to build a relationship from a sexual act when it's not the right time destroys any further efforts to create a healthy intimate space between two people, especially if this is, as it would had been in this case, a 'forced' act. It's the lack of patience, empathy, synergy between two people, but above all; respect for the other person.

Sex is the last step in a relationship. Allowing it to grow organically until both people are truly ready is essential and makes it special, but this requires all elements that are introduced in the relationship when both overcome the urgency of immediacy. What it might seem a lost opportunity now, could turn up to be the seed for something greater at a later stage. It's necessary to understand that what it might appear to be a loss, it's in many cases a gain for those who dare to enter the unknown.

The unknown is always present.

Perhaps to mention also, that Sarah is a very attractive woman, what to the male psyche might suggest that resisting the temptation is more of an effort. Not quite! Sarah is above all, a person, and that even though she might have not expressed herself adequately, she did say that she wasn't ready. We hear what we want to hear. We see what we want to see. Then we usually do what we please. I heard NO!

In retrospective, had I gone for it, it would have been rape, although I doubt she would have taken it as such. As mentioned earlier, the first stage I like to engage with in a relationship is intimacy for obvious reasons. It takes time to get to know a person, to establish a friendships through playfulness, trust, respect or understanding of someone's needs. In most relationships, sex has already killed the opportunity of intimacy. Humanity has lost the ability to play, as if adults had never been children, and while in all adult seriousness we fuck one's own loneliness away in any sexual act that takes our fancy, we believe that we're the greatest lovers, while wondering why relations go inevitably down the hill at the first set back.

It's perhaps appropriate to mention that during dinner, Sarah had expressed her desire to explore freedom during our time together. It's a norm in relationships to refuse to act as a practitioner, as I'd do with a client, as this puts me in the place of a therapist, -it might even invite the perception of superiority- creating an unequal position, and perhaps thwarting any possibility to bond.

It's not the same to do shadow work with a partner, being this a mutual effort, than to become their teacher. Gestalt techniques have a powerful effect in people's transformation. Agreeing to help someone in a relationship under these parameters is almost like buying them a one way ticket to elsewhere. The sound of freedom sounded good to me, so I didn't hesitate to comply with her wishes.

By asking to experience and know freedom, I couldn't ask anything from her, nor could I take anything she didn't want to give. Freedom is an essential element in any relationship, as it's when people feel free that they give the best of themselves when they feel like it. Nothing is rushed. No one is manipulated. If people do not show at their best in any type of relationships, it's due to the lack of it. In The difference between this relationship and any other is that in this one it was asked from the beginning. Sad to have to state the obvious.

At the same time, someone who already feels free would be able to show their best at all times.

The following days we had breakfast in local cafés, long walks and played all day long while getting to know each other. Laughter was present throughout. During this time our conversations dealt with traumas and the long lasting effects that they may have on people, relationships, issues that may appear and the creation of character and personality but above all; love.

I don't do anything without a deliberate intention in order to see beyond what might seem obvious. Knowing that Sarah had come out of a relationship where she had been merely the receptacle of someone's lust, I wanted to know her position on this and her understanding of intimate and sexual conduct within relationships, reason for which I said what I said. It was clearly then, that sex was not a space in which she felt neither free, nor comfortable, despite her predisposition to give it.

During one of our walks I asked her, what would have happened if I had carried out my threat. Her answer was that she would have lost all respect for me, as would have I. "Why did you get so aroused then?" I asked. She then realised that she indeed got excited about the possibility of being submitted when this was clearly not what she wanted. She asked if I knew the answer, but the arousal before the possibility of sexual submission is evidently an issue that had to be explored, although the reason was clear, and it relates to sexual healing, which is a subject that deserves a separate blog post.

By the third day our understanding of each other and the synergy that we had created was so high that reality began to take a different turn. While we walked holding hands through a busy commercial road she noticed that no one could see us, that we were somehow invisible to others. No one looked at us, not even when I tried to call people's attention in order to illustrate this fact. This can be explained from the perspective that all the energy created helped to raise consciousness naturally, as if we were in a way in a different dimension. By the time we reached home I asked her if she had noticed anyone not only looking at us, but engaging with us, an important aspect that she missed. The people who did indeed noticed and communicated with us from the first day had been society's rejects, the homeless, the mad ones.

Previously that day we entered a castle that was closed to the public. So high were we on love and consciousness that we didn't see any restrictive signs, nor any of the numerous signs around the city that forbid life itself. Sarah also pointed out that the day seemed like five or six days together within one day. Time stretches when living in the moment, never giving the sensation that a day it's too long, as there's a feeling of elation that goes along with it. There was no need to eat, nor were we tired. During this week many of our playfulness involved sexual energy, which was highly arousing, tangible and easy to transmit from one to the other. Playing with the idea of sex and the palpable desire we continued getting to know each other, letting intimacy take its natural course. No rush for anything, just living and thriving in the moment.

Most of the conversations related to love, art, writing, music, the possibilities to create something either together or separately, as well as other practical matters. The words we choose, and especially the conversations we have, determine how we feel; the state of being. Talk love, be love.

It's not a secret that a large number of men, -not all- having been presented with the same opportunity to have sex even when the conditions were not suitable, would have gone for it without hesitation. There's still a great need for men to possess, control and feel power over women. It's the domination of the patriarch deeply embedded in the male psyche and for which there's no excuse. The patriarch is a system and an energy. How we respond to it is what defines us as men. Perhaps to repeat once again, that the action of one man reflects on every other man; that the consequences of certain actions are difficult, and sometimes impossible to heal.

The day to see and feel freedom arrived. Sarah is a singer and a songwriter. Before our meeting she sent me a few of her recordings, to which I listened to with pleasure and attention. While I knew what song she should sing in order for her to reach the realisation of freedom, I couldn't point it out. It had to come from her, and it did without any suggestion from me. One of the benefits of Gestalt is that creates experiences in which people can see and feel what they're looking for. This is due to the energy being expansive, but also focused on the intention of people's requests, so as to work on the desired issues.

As Sarah sang her song, she realised that she had already written in her own words the experience of freedom, and this was the theme of her music. It's neither rare, nor surprising that someone realises something they already have and know while using Gestalt techniques. This is not reduced to Sara. The whole of humanity seems unable to see themselves for who we are, and individuals keep seeking what they already have.

So far there's been a lot of playfulness, conversations, walks and good times together. Sexual playfulness took a good part of this time, but it appeared when it did, naturally and without being pushed into any situation. For obvious reasons I'd omit more personal details. While this stage of enhanced consciousness is possible to reach by everyone without exception, it's necessary to point out that, first; I am a conduit for energy, what makes it easier to reach such states. Higher states of consciousness can be reached with the mind alone. Notice that during these days, we were not chasing money, material things, that we were not engaged in criticising the world or others, that we allowed love to be the sole theme even when dealing with practical matters.

It's possible to discuss the effects that society and its apparatus have on individuals without vindictive impulses.

It's also necessary to point out, that this is one experience between two people, one shared truth; that this is not the only way to reach what people want. Comparison or competition with everything that entails, such as envy, lust, anger and/or any other of the lower states of consciousness can never be steps towards happiness, nor love.

The following post: Sacred Sex: The sexual Act, gives the account of what happened next.

More on sacred sex:

Sacred Sex: Honouring Heart, Body, Soul and the Miracle of Love.

Sacred sex: Is the sex you have as safe as you think it is?

Sacred Sex: The Sexual Act.

2018-11-14T12:40:00.003-08:00

Sacred sex is called as such because it's based on the principle that both partners are sacred, as well as every detail, every moment. It's not reduced to the sexual act, but it expands and reaches any other aspect involving both lovers. Treating ourselves as sacred beings, as well as others is essential in the relationship. It's the encounter of a Goddess and a God, the recognition of who we really are, and the realisation that what we offer to others, we offer to ourselves. In sacred sex, two lovers create an universe of love and abundance.

While the previous paragraph recreates the imagery of a relationship that sounds and looks idyllic, reaching this state and/or staying there might not be as simple. One cannot reach such states with the mind alone, but must follow a feeling, an indestructible intention that does not give up at the first short fall. Let's not forget that we're humans, beings with a proclivity to break everything we touch. But let's not forget either, that we're indeed beings with extraordinary gifts that we fail to recognise and admire, first in ourselves, then in others.

It doesn't have to be neither serious, nor perfect. It could be clumsy, showered in laughter and playfulness. It's the perfect time to use the imagination.

This blog post might not make sense without reading the previous one: Sacred Sex: The Growth in Sexual Energy, which offers an account of how two people get to such a heightened state.

The previous article describes a period of a few days of foreplay, of getting to know each other by allowing time, patience, trust, understanding, love and passion to flow. A time in which two people experience themselves and each other always enjoying the moment. As those moments were so rich in playfulness and presence, there was no need for anything else.

Sexual energy was playful and intense, but it was never tense. After five days of play, we reached the bed. Not even then there was any sense of urgency or that this has to be done now.

What happened next would have never taken place had we decided to have sex the first night under those circumstances. At one point, and while still in the foreplay stage, I could see myself in her eyes and she could see myself in mine. To make this clear. I saw myself within her, as she saw herself within me. This was a moment that showed us both that what we do to others, we do to ourselves, and what we do to ourselves, we do to others.

It's one of those rare episodes in our lives that makes it clear that sex is, and should always be treated as sacred if there had been any doubts before such moment. The tenderness and beauty of the moment didn't remove the excitement, but it increased the desire.

Minutes within the act, she noticed that she could feel everything I felt, as I felt everything she did. Such feelings made us to recreate in the moment, to linger, to make a much more deliberate effort on movements and touch.

There were, of course many more details that I would not share with anyone, as the information provided so far suffices to illustrate what can be achieved with sacred sex, out of love for ourselves and the other.

This blog post is not a reference to what other people should or shouldn't do in regards to intimacy or sex, but an account of a reality that may encourage others to explore and play with the possibilities that are presented within a relationship. Sacred sex doesn't have to be reduced to sex within a established or new relationship. It can be applied to any sexual encounter between two willing counterparts.

There will be future articles on sacred sex explaining in more details the steps that someone might follow in order to create more intimacy and deeper connections within their relationships.

More on sacred sex:

Sacred Sex: Honouring Heart, Body, Soul and the Miracle of Love.

Sacred sex: Is the sex you have as safe as you think it is?

Fear of Intimacy: The Sexual Pleaser.

2018-09-18T12:39:00.000-07:00

Fear of intimacy or the lack of, might be difficult to recognise, especially when someone’s intimate life is ruled by sexuality; sex being the most misleading cause, as it creates the illusion of it. Someone can lead an abundant sexual life, but being unaware of the lack of intimacy or their fear of it. It’s one of the leading causes for unfaithfulness, promiscuity and ending relationships. The purpose being, not getting too close to anyone while creating close connections; not reaching the emotional spaces in which someone believes that they might be exposed to pain and hurt.

Fear of intimacy affects everyone differently, although it’s possible to recognise several types of people that fall into specific categories. In the case of the sexual pleaser, it leads individuals to perfect -in their own way- ideal sexual practices for the pleasure of others, and while sex is also satisfactory to them, they’re own satisfaction is not the priority. There's a reason behind it.

With this in mind, the sexual-pleaser pays special attention to every detail, focusing all their energy in perceiving and reading the responses of their sexual partners according to their level of awareness, in order to provide the ultimate climax. In their hands, their partners would be most satisfied, even if other parts of the relationship fail or are not as satisfactory, which leads to the constant need to create more opportunities to satisfy the urge to prove themselves, more closeness in order to reaffirm this side of their identity.

The intention to please a partner sexually should be a must for everyone, but in this case, it's driven by emotional patterns that affect the pleaser, creating the opposite of what’s intended. Long term, this behavioural pattern could lead to a deep sense of longing and loneliness. In order to accomplish their immediate goals, focusing all their energy and attention on the other person, they deny themselves the necessary openness to receive as much pleasure as they give. This person is a giver, and givers often find it hard to allow themselves to receive. But this is not the main reason that creates this kind of character and personality. It could also cause to resent others, as meeting a matching partner that dedicates as much care and time as they do might be impossible. Partners get used to what they're given, as the giver follows a compulsive need to give.

There's a deep longing and selfish motivation to receive equally, but the pleaser won't articulate this desire, which in turn becomes a trap to others. As you don't give them, as much as you receive, the pleaser will see you as selfish or not caring enough.

Balance in intimacy provides solutions, but only when giving is a mutual exchange, instead of dangling between polarities.

The first step to receive is asking. Usually givers don’t know how to ask, nor dare to. Asking doesn't even cross their minds, as giving is all they know. Not asking is a behavioural pattern that can be traced back to childhood and easy to recognise. It’s a living paradox, living in lack or scarcity, while giving abundantly. The imbalance denotes emotional immaturity, even though emotional intelligence could be high in them. However negative it might sound, it's a trait to be treated with compassion, as in this case, it's lack of awareness and emotional connection. It's also a door to incredible experiences.

If the relationship doesn't provide for both partners to receive, it's highly possible that intimacy is failing.

The pleaser senses the feelings of others, but it's afraid to deal with their own feelings. Running away is one certain way to avoid one's own feelings and emotions.

The emotional need urges the sexual-pleaser to act in order to being liked by others, for which reason one sexual partner might not be enough. In their minds it’s a gift to others that has to be shared, and as one partner gets too close to the wound, they run away and please others. The capacity to give equals the inability to receive. In time the emotional void is too intense, not finding what they’re really looking for: love.

Relationships don't last long, and it's not because they don't want to. There's an obvious narcissistic trait in this kind of people. Somehow a sense of emotional superiority in regards to intimacy or sexuality, as one of their most acute abilities is to read someone's energies and by following how people respond to stimuli they know what step to take next. In contrast, there's a lack of confidence and security, but also a sense of not deserving enough.

Pleasing a partner sexually is in itself a wonderful experience. However, the lack of balance impedes the sexual-pleaser to delve into their own intimate experience in which they can learn to receive. As the focus is on the other person, the sexual-pleaser is missing in human touch and the feeling that comes from the patience and stillness in receiving.

There's a mixture of insecurity, which creates the need of being liked, as well as lack of trust, resulting in avoiding being touched by their partners for as long as it's wanted and necessary. At the same time there's a deep desire of being touched, and being loved by touch.

It's unfortunate that we live in a world where we don't allow ourselves to receive what we most desire: love, intimacy, human touch.

Such comfort zone is a rather uncomfortable emotional space, facing an abyss that requires the courage of a leap of faith allowing themselves the pleasure of being touched, to surrender and explore their own body through the touch of others. While touching and giving, one is in control, receiving requires losing this urge. Trust can only be challenged by allowing, not reacting to it. It does take little to overcome the initial discomfort once we surrender the resistance by allowing.

One of the problems may be that in finding a partner that matches their expectations and desire, choosing instead someone they feel comfortable distrusting and most certainly they do not wish to be with long term. This choice, -more rational and conscious than one would think- is the perfect excuse to stop themselves from opening up to others, so as to avoid being touched deeply.

It's the irony in underestimating others. The exploration of intimacy, no matter how casual or superficial one may consider it before it takes place, can surprise most people when they feel touched the moment someone opens their heart and offers their bodies to them. A simple kiss may suffice. Everyone has the ability to touch someone else's heart and soul. All that's needed is to look at someone in the eyes long enough until the resistance to see and being seen is dropped. If people don't love more, don't find more love is because we fear the hurt that might come when allowing loving and being loved. The "one has to kiss many frogs ... " saying is nothing but an excuse to continue choosing partners we don't want to be with, to avoid exploring love and intimacy with someone we really want to be with.

Kissing frogs is nothing, but an excuse to avoid love and intimacy

There's opportunity, and there's opportunistic. There's a substantial difference between both, and it's not only important to recognise it, but to act accordingly depending on what someone wants from their intimate experience. It's fine to kiss all frogs along the way, as long as we admit to ourselves that frogs is what we want. Kissing frogs is also indicative of lack of confidence and faith in meeting what we want.

Kissing frogs does help to build confidence, but also creates the illusion that this is all there is, which in turn affects negatively the confidence and faith in finding what we want. It reinforces a belief. Everything is a paradox. The problem and the solution all in the same place.

Those who boast about their sexual abilities do not fit into this category. The narcissist will always tell you who they are and what they're capable of. Know and see the difference.

In the self-mythology of the sexual-pleaser there's a self-portrait which speaks of a special being that goes through life gifting and teaching others the art of love. It's a 'teacher' that stays for short periods disappearing once they feel that the lesson has been taught. It's always the same lesson from condescending 'teachers' to willing students that feel abandoned, if not betrayed. They might have enjoyed the generous touch, the gentle presence of the giver, but by taking it all away, the lesson is one of lack, not of love. Irony after irony both learn new steps in the quest of love, but the sexual-pleaser has to recognise that only by allowing themselves being touched they can reach their own heart.

While sharing their intimate experience with those we do not want to be, the energy that's created and the message that's being sent to the Universe is that anyone can enter that space if only for a while. At the same time it attracts people in desperate need for human touch. Tragically, it prevents those with whom we can create a deep and healthy connection with from entering our energetic space. The problem is not in other people, but in our perception of them.

A life's path is created by the decisions we make here and now. In stillness we find the courage and patience to discern, to choose wisely, recognising that what might be convenient today, might not be what we're looking for, as well as to accept that what we're looking for could be just around the corner, and probably is. More often than not, we don't find that space, being occupied doing things we don't want to do with people we really don't want to be and pleasing them while they keep us company in the waiting for love, not knowing that sometimes love is one decision away.

One does not wait for love; we wait in love. There are worse things than not being liked.

The positive part and one to look forward to is that once we allow themselves to receive, our ability to experience pleasure and intimacy can reach heightened states of love and consciousness. Usually it takes place when the pleaser begins to explore different tempos, knowing when to stop and how to delay the giving in order to delve into it together, as it is together, when one looks and treats the other as equals that intimacy begins to flow.

Changing these perceptions is a process that requires time, as well as several new practices and ways of seeing life, the self and others, but it's possible.

Finally, when kissing frogs, you're not kissing a frog, you're kissing yourself. Think about that! I kissed many frogs to not only realise that they were not, but that I was being an idiot. The idiot within is another character to celebrate, but that's another story for another day.

There are, of course, healthy ways in which to change such perception and behaviour, but this is a process. If this sound like you, or like your partner, there are questions to ask. It's not that you don't know intimacy or don't want to know it, but that you or them, don't allow it.

The Runner: The Lover That Doesn't Want To Be Loved.

2018-04-02T06:53:00.001-07:00

The runner is on the loose; either aware or unaware of the trail of heartbreak that leaves behind. Unaware of the their own heartbreak, or what reasons they have to keep running as soon as the feeling of safety in a relationship takes hold of them. For the one left behind, understanding this feeling might be difficult, if not impossible. Since I started writing about the runner, I've received hundreds of emails requesting more information on what could be done to stop first, and then, to transform this pattern of behaviour, as it's cause of pain and suffering, not only to those who are abandoned, but also to the runner. This article is written with this intention, as well as the kind of work that's involved.

The runner is a person ruled by contradictions. In a way we all are. Perhaps the contradiction that tortures them most is the longing for love and to be loved, while being unable to fully surrender to love at the same time, or the inability to keep a relationship. It's human condition to complicate life in order to explore the labyrinth of the collective unconscious and its effects on an individual quest, -me against the world- trying to find answers, to learn what's truth, what's not, to one day realise that everything is so simple, that the answer was already there, and we knew it all along. In between we follow the dictate of the noise of the world, which eventually ends echoing within, ruling the mind.

Unless there's a clear vision of the world, it's normal to do what we're told that works, even if we have to go through a turmoil of emotions and experiences that go against what we believe and truly want, which do more harm than good. Before someone knows the way, it's usual to try what doesn't work. "Before we know who we are, we have to see who we're not."

The moment that triggers the urge to run is overwhelming, an energetic space, both too familiar and too mysterious due to the difficulty to interpret it. This space expands inwards and outwards taking over someone's whole being with an emotion that extends to the infinite. Vertigo inevitably follows. It's not surprising that the runner goes and do what they do best; disappearing wit an explanation that only they believe.

Understanding this feeling is more important than whatever reasons or excuses the runner may have to leave. The reasons, as well as the explanations are contradictory and futile. If emotions are hard to put into words, the encounter with the infinite within proves to be more so. In a world that feeds on the weakness of people by the make-belief that we're limited beings, it's not surprising that the response of the runner is either fear or panic.

In the past, the runner has either suffered, witnessed, and most likely experienced both, the hard way the effects of failed relationships, in which abuse was prevalent. It's also likely that the runner has experienced abuse and rejection from birth. The kind of abuse could have been verbal, physically violent or even sexual. In other cases it could have been subtle, such as controlling parents or a controlling environment, surrounded by types of forceful behaviour that limit the individual, affecting their relationship with intimacy. The people who were supposed to love and protect them not only didn't, but used their position of power and authority to take advantage. For the runner, love is not a safe space, or at least it doesn't feel like it.

Paradoxically, the runner eagerly seeks love and won't be shy at taking the opportunity to explore love with someone else. It's not so much that they don't want to be loved, they don't know how to allow it, although in time they get so used to not being loved and/or to reject love that it becomes the norm. Meeting someone and creating a relationship is the easy part. They're likely to be creative, charming their way to someone's heart, having the ability to make the beginning of the relationship truly magical.

The first obstacle appears when in creating the relationship they try to fix the relationship pattern that they witnessed failing or the moment in which they reach the phase in which they've already accomplished creating a relationship that matches their ideal. At this point, the runner drops the creative energy and effort becoming stagnant. Creating beyond this point is a real challenge.The purpose is to create the ideal scenario that in their minds is perfect with the belief that once all the parameters have been set, the relationship settles in the flow of love and abundance. There's no vision beyond this point. because this is an experience never lived and which has to be created. Unfortunately, we do tend to create what we already know. It's essential to understand this.

The feeling that urges the runner to leave is the inability to live in safe and loving spaces, the lack of trust in love, not so much in their partners. It's the sensation that they've hit an energetic wall, so deep, wide and tall, that even thinking about how to get to the other side is exhausting and demoralising. This emotion is not to be taken lightly, however difficult it might be to imagine it. It takes the runner to a different dimension. They're now fully into the unknown.

No one enters the unknown feeling equipped to cruise through it. The unknown is a place where we stumble before we flow, hence, it's tempting to return to the comfort zone. In the case of the runner, the alarms sets off because they move from love to vertigo within a matter of minutes, even seconds. The abruptness of the change in emotions can be and usually is overwhelming. It's also an intense encounter with the feeling of being all alone once again. Panic follows. From here on, there are two options, to stay and go through the storm of emotions that follow or to leave and return to the same old habits. The first step takes courage and patience, the latter is a walk back to the comfort zone, however uncomfortable this might feel and no matter how spectacular or poetic they may make it sound. We can convince ourselves of anything in order to avoid the leap of faith the holds the key to universal love.

The answers to the dilemmas we're tormented by are in the stories we tell ourselves. The problem in finding them is that most people speak what they want to hear.

It's important to remove the romantic tag from the runner, however charming or enchanting they may be. Runners in their comfort zone can be predatory, slowly weaving a web in which to trap lovers they do not usually want to be in a long term relationship with, seduce them with their stories and that evasive air of mystery and mysticism so easy to recognise in them, and which, to others might look like freedom.

The runner is also propense to theatrics and drama and have worked out subtle ways to make it sound as if it's somehow their partners fault that they're leaving even when they utter the famous "it's not you, it's me! sentence. It sounds more like, "damn you for not rescuing me from this space after opening my heart to you."

At some point the runner will numb their feelings. While this reaction is a natural defense mechanism they've created, the coldness that follows tends to be heartbreaking and devastating to others, as well as to themselves. To their partners because they feel used and abandoned, to the runner, because living in an ice house is not where they want to be. It doesn't feel like home, and it's not home.

The coldness of the heart is not a place where anyone can stay too long without serious consequences. Soon they come out seeking the warmth of love and the touch of others. From lover to lover, the runner loses touch with their conscience and their heart, often validating their way of living by creating a self-mythological figure that believes that they're teachers demostrating others how to love. "Learn the lesson I came to teach you now and live with it", they'd say. Unaware of their own coldness, they move on to the next lover without kindness, nor compassion for the person left behind. If they remove you from their lives, it's because they neither want to deal with the emotions you raise in them, nor they believe they're capable of. It's easier to keep looking outside for answers, and in their minds, a new lover will come with all the answers. Little do they know that a new lover will only come with the same bag of emotions and undealt with issues, making the runner feel great for a while, but even worse afterwards.

It's also possible that the runner meets controlling lovers that try to tell them what to do, sensing their desire to leave from the beginning. The runner will tell that they are leaving or that they never stay long, a deliberate act that gives them the upper hand and puts you in the position of the chaser. Being involved in this unhealthy dynamic, the runner would get the worse of their lovers, in which case, they'd leave at once. However, it's necessary to know that the runner surrounds themselves with a set of emotional traps imposible to avoid. If one doesn't provoke you, they're throw another one at your feet in front of your very eyes without any remorse or shame, then blame you for your reaction. It's provocation. Nothing else. But as it's directed at the heart, not reacting to them it's a natural reaction almost impossible to avoid. It hurts.

Despite the above description, the runner doesn't have to be a bad person and most likely is not. They're like everyone else; people learning to love their way back home.

On the other side of the story, the chaser develops controlling mechanisms, which do not serve the purpose either, as these instruments of control are developed with fear. This approach doesn't work either, as the chaser enters a phase in which panic takes control of them, and in which both, love and creativity suffer setbacks. If there's neither love, nor creativity, relationships die. Fear is paralysing and it affects both lovers.

It's not easy to find a standard answer that serves all, as every runner reacts to different triggers and according to their personal experience, as well as to their partners. In theory, the solution is simple: stop, stay and enjoy the unknown, being in love with life, love itself and with someone else, but not reacting to the emotion is almost impossible. All the energy that's wasted in running and destroying love could well be used to create a relationship in which love, harmony and abundance is limitless, but for this to happen, the runner has to make a conscious effort to remain and explore possibilities that can only be found in the unknown.

The common mistake in all runners is to react to their inability to process their own emotions and run. Emotions are linked and even blamed on the other person, creating the illusion that without their lovers they'd be safe. Running is a futile exercise, as it's only running towards the same time and again, only that represented by a different face, a different voice, a different environment. It feels safe for a while, but it's more of the same illusion.

It's necessary to look at someone's personal history in order to find where the triggers initiate, as well as finding resources that allow different responses that permit to create new paths. The runner is not reacting to their lover, but to the reminiscence of a feeling experienced during their earlier years.

The urge to run in the runner goes so deep that even when I work with clients dealing with this issue they tend to disappear for long periods, despite the fact that ours is a professional/client relationship with well defined boundaries, as well as a safe space to explore within themselves what's too emotionally intense in a romantic relationship.

Gestalt techniques and psychodrama offer a wonderful array of possibilities for the exploration of this character, the fears that create the urge to run, as well as showing the strengths, confidence and above all, to show the runner, that love is safe, and that being with someone they truly want to be with can be more rewarding than fearful.

It's time that the world learns that love is the safest place to be.

They say that curiosity killed the cat. I say that lack of curiosity is killing the human being. Lack of curiosity for love, for the adventure, for learning what we are, and expressing the limitlessness of who we really are.

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Creating A Successful, Future Version Of Yourself.

2018-02-21T13:04:00.001-08:00

Most people understandably seek emotional safety and certainty of the future in and from others, not knowing that the making of their future portrait lies in their hands. While the certainty of the specific future cannot be guaranteed or manifested as someone may wish it to be, it's also possible to work towards it. The main problem in creating the future is that the mind tends to take as reference present and past experiences, which can be perceived as impossible obstacles to overcome. The way forward for a different future is to do something different, easy in practice, not so easy in practice, as there's a natural tendency to resort to the usual habits and patterns of behaviour.

The first step is to accept that there cannot be certainty of the future, although it's possible to challenge this belief, and with focus and dedication get closer to a desired reality. Everything is a paradox. Depending on the level of perception we might get lost in the contradiction. What is true now, it doesn't have to be true tomorrow. The key to everything we want is in energy. Everything is energy. When properly managed, it can change anything, everything and everyone. Energy can either flow or remain stagnant depending on actions, thoughts and words. What's done today is a step pointing at the future we are going to.

Energy is much easier to manage than what it might seem.

The process is simple. The practice might not be so. Every word, action, thought and intention carries a determined energy, and each of these elements plays an important part in someone's development. Intention is created from an idea, thought or feeling. Keeping the energy of the initial feeling is essential in order to succeed despite the obstacles one might face in the process. Persistence no matter what! The higher vibration in the feeling, the more powerful the intention. In order to reach a high vibration with an intention, its nature also determines the direction. An intention could be born from the best idea, but could be not a vibrational match to its essence for several reasons, such as morals, principles or beliefs. Matching both is also essential.

Another obstacle is the resistance to get excited, to allow ourselves to be happy by aiming and getting something we really want. It's a usual characteristic in people not to get too excited about a brighter future. The feeling has a root in the belief that we're not good enough or don't deserve it, which is stored in the energetic storage of self-worth and self-esteem. Listen to yourself, and when it doubt seek the source of the information carried in your thoughts, which is most likely coming from a parent expressing in multiple forms that you're not good enough.

If the idea is to serve the greater good, but the intention and purpose is only to make money from it, the goal may be reached eventually, but it's also possible that it never sees the light of day. This is only an example. Serving others and financial gain are matching energies, but if your belief is flawed and perceive that, either, you're not good enough or have negative believes about money, the new venture won't blossom. One belief cancels the other. The idea and personal belief that someone may have on money could block the intention. However, regardless of one's personal belief system, it should not deter anyone from pursuing or achieving their goals. In most cases it's a matter of shifting someone's energy into a new belief.

Shifting beliefs can be perceived as a painful process or even an impossible task. It doesn't have to be. One of the obstacles that people find in their way to success is the wrong beliefs or perception that they may have. In order to change this, first, someone has to be aware of what's stopping them. This could be a difficult task, as we often don't see that the first barrier between us and success is the self. Seeking professional assistance may be a step forward in the right direction, as one simple realisation can improve or change the views that we have on the world, goals and the self.

Intention is followed by words, thoughts and actions, all of which ideally match the vibration of the idea and the intention. In this case, the project is the development of a person, but the process can be applied to anything else. Whatever the project, it carries someone's personal imprint, reason for which one also may want to consider who to share it with or whom to get involved. When energy is high, people, situations and every other necessary element will appear to make it possible.

It's best not to share your dreams, goals or the decisions you make with anyone. Explaining ourselves to the world eventually turns as a justification for being, losing strength and the sense of purpose. Most people are too quick to give unwanted advice, feedback or even criticism finding fault to everything. Remember how many times you've been told that something is not possible, yet, there are so many people around the world living their dream because they believe that it is indeed possible.

Successful people don't listen to the noise of the world. The noise of the world being the collective unconscious to which most people contribute with their negative experiences and the fall out of dreams they never pursued.

Get excited and keep the energy contained. It's a matter of working on it, to express it with action and movement which in turn will bring more ideas along, as well as the right people. There are also a large number of encouraging people out there. Not everyone falls for the negative. Some people actually want to see you succeed.

Talking about it and sharing it with others is often detrimental, as many people do not share the same intention, nor want to see you succeed or being happy. More often than not, the closer we are to someone, the more discouraging they'll be. Get excited, live the excitement while working on it, and let others guess why your energy has shifted. If you're not being successful, you might be surrounded by toxic people. Let them go!

It's important to consider the energy that is created during the process. Every action is stored in someone's energetic field throughout time. The energy that is created today is probably the energy they're going to be living with tomorrow. There is a key element in this process: integrity. By taking action and achieving small victories that take you one step further to what you want, you're storing a new memory in your body and psyche, which in time will help you to get there.

Not every action that you take has to be a victory, and that's OK, but one successful step already serves to change perception and to show you that you're on the right path.

If while reading this your reality is not the one you desire, it doesn't mean that you don't have integrity, but that perhaps certain steps towards your dreamed future has taken a few detours in the wrong direction. Experience and the mistakes made throughout are invaluable sources of wisdom, as well as pointing out in which direction not to walk to.

It's easy to see how the process develops by feeling the energy that creates. Thoughts must match words, words match actions and all together the intention. However imperceptible one may think the dissonance appears to others and that they can get away with it, with good words or perhaps symbolic, public actions, energy speaks before any event takes place. Follow the energy of the feeling, not the outcome. Energy can break through any obstacles and remove from your life the most pessimistic person.

To create a beautiful portrait of the self, it's necessary to focus on one's goals. How to get there is not as important as getting there. However, it doesn't mean that for this purpose someone can deviate from the moral compass. Integrity is a must. In order to be successful it's necessary to say no to what's convenient now, -even if it doesn't make sense or makes you uncomfortable,- so as to reach what's important at the end of the journey. The process is about creating opportunities, not about being opportunistic.

Deep within everyone knows who they are, what we're meant to do with our lives and the kind of person we want to be. To be who and what we are, we do not need to wait another forty years. This is a decision that anyone can make here and now. It's likely that throughout the process we meet the opposition of many people, especially those who claim to love us the most, and that in order not to antagonise them we deviate from our true calling, always returning to square one, becoming discouraged and depressed because they neither understand, nor support you.

Learn to listen, so as to hear what people really want to say. Again, follow the feeling.

Family and friends are usually the first ones to find problems to every solution, to put obstacles in someone else's way while showing that they care or love. They probably don't know better, and it's possible that they never listened to you. Family and friends tend to project their issues, what makes it, seeing you almost impossible. At some point they must go or stand aside. Relying on the opinions of others to embrace who we are, we'd never get anywhere.

The process doesn't have to be dramatic or painful. Begin the process knowing that you might meet obstacles and accept that this is OK. Every challenge is an opportunity for growth. What's essential is to focus all your attention and energy on your goals, rather than fighting the opinions of others.

What's important to have in mind is that every action can change the energy that drives you. If it doesn't feel right, it's probably not. I can't emphasise enough how essential it is to acknowledge that the future can change anytime with one heartfelt action, as well as to remember that the energy that's generated can change your life forever. If you're capable of one small success, you're capable of many more. What you want might not be possible by hitting the jackpot or in a day.

A simple example.

Writing a book takes time, energy and effort. Writing regularly is necessary. Writing is not something we talk about, but something we do. Each page is one step forward towards the end. It might take several books, several songs, different courses or qualifications, or a minimum of months to transform your body. All these goals have one thing in common: persistence. If the energy feels right today, it might be an activity that you want to take on tomorrow, and as you practice every day, you improve your skills, see what works and what doesn't.

All broken dreams have one thing in common, people never worked towards them. Think about it.

The following article also offers guidance to get what you want:

The freedom in being authentic.