So, as many of you know: I quit my job. My last day was two Fridays ago on February 26th. I had turned in my two week notice after years of unhappiness and frustration. It was a difficult decision to make and I soon had strange feelings about the whole situation. What do I mean?
Well, I worked at that salon for five years. FIVE YEARS. Seriously, that’s like a lifetime to a stylist. Cosmetologists provide most salons with a rotating door of employees. In fact, Tashia and I were the longest employed in that same salon (we are talking actual building as opposed to salon ownership…which you’d be surprised: when filling out anything that requires an employment background I must list the same job twice-same address, different owners, which when you think about it just isn’t right. Think of it this way: you hold the same job, for the same business, in the same building for 5 years. The former owner owned that business under the LLC “Mr. X Business, Inc” for 3 years. The business is then sold to a new owner under the LLC “Floofy Biz, LLC”. You go to apply for a new job. You must list your time for Mr. X as 3 years and your time for Floofy as 2, yet the same address and position. If you have a prospective employer that isn’t very observant looking at your application or resume then they get to wondering why you can’t hold a job. This is especially true when making your resume and you don’t put the actual physical address or reason for change on it). As for under the current owner, only four of us were the “originals”. Out of seven. And I can’t even tell you how many have come and gone in the past two years since the current owners bought the salon.
So anyway, the decision. I had a definite plan in my head and I started preparing. A huge issue with that is I am one of those people that gets big ideas, jump right in without worry and then find that it may not go exactly as planned. No, no, I am not saying that happened. I am just letting you know what type of person I am. Not all the time, mind you, just a lot of the time. I bided my time at work, finishing up my two week schedule and being very careful to not say, “See you in a few weeks!” as clients left.
Then the last day came.
I went in super early like I always did. I spent all day looking forward to the time when I was officially no longer an employee. When the time came I filled out my own Voluntary Termination paper and I took myself out of the computer. Well, actually I did those things because I knew that they wouldn’t be done correctly or at all otherwise. But afterwards, with my pink rolly equipment suitcase packed to busting, I doled out the hugs, said my goodbyes and walked out of the front door a free woman.
I had gotten in my car and sent out the “woo hoo i am outta there” texts messages. I drove out and onto the freeway. I sat in traffic through Atlanta. I was feeling good. Nothing could bring me down.
Nothing could bring me down.
Until I got out of the city limits. Then I got a bad, bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. And a feeling washed over me that I had felt before, but never for this situation. The only way I can describe the feeling is that of buyer remorse. You trade in your car for a new car and two days later, after the reality that you are going to start making car payments again hits, you thin how you could have just fixed your old car up and saved money. Or when your bank account gets really, really, really low but you want to go out for drinks with your friends really, really, really badly so you do but the next day while making coffee you see your power bill, that is already three days late, hanging on your refrigerator door. Yeah, that’s pretty close to how I felt. It was awful. What now? Can I do this this working for myself thing? Should I turn around and go back to the salon and beg for my job back? Was the job really as bad as I made it out to be? What if I never find another job ever, ever, ever again?
Brett had to calm me down.
So anyway, I got home and waited for the feeling to subside.
The next day was Saturday. My first official day as either unemployed or self employed, depending on how you look at it. Anyone who has ever a) visited a salon or b) worked in a salon knows that Saturdays are very busy days. This was the first Saturday in a long, long time that I was not working. I had a feeling that I was doing something wrong, something terribly naughty. Like those days when you call out for a mental health day, but your mental health gets worse as the day goes on because you feel guilty for not being at work. I felt guilty. I felt as though I were doing something terrible. I felt as though I had called out of work without good reason.
Once again Brett had to calm me down.
I spent the weekend not doing much of anything. I worked on a blanket for a friend of mine. I lounged around, planning my week and all of the projects I was going to accomplish, with a definite timeline. I went to Brett’s hockey game, the first I had been to in probably about a year. I had a really nice weekend. And so Monday came.
Starting Monday I awoke early (5:30 in the morning) and began drinking coffee, playing on the internet and working on projects. I did that Monday and all of the rest of the week. I tried new things and failed at some, completed things I set out to complete and generally worked a lot. In fact, I worked more at home than I ever worked while employed at the salon. It is pretty much a guarantee at this point that even if everything I worked on sells, it will still be less money acquired than hourly wage. Like, way less.
So, back to what was bliss and what was hell:
Bliss-it has been lovely to work from home doing something that I really, really enjoy. Not that I didn’t enjoy doing hair. I did, but it just isn’t my passion. It’s just something I happen to be really good at and I was always afraid to try something new. Making my own schedule and completing things in my own time is awesome. Not having to change out of pajamas if I don’t choose to is nice. I can crochet and knit anywhere: bed, couch, art room, outside, etc. If I feel the need to lounge in the tub and gather my thoughts I can do that. I have more time with my furbabies (and I think they are secretly happy to have me around all of the time). I have found how crappy daytime TV is and I have almost gone through my entire Watch Instantly list on Netflix (time to find more or move to Hulu). I have found myself becoming more creative. I have way better ideas and found easier ways to work them out. I have lost some weight.
Hell-not knowing what is going to happen in the future. I hate not having a schedule to base my life by (which will be remedied once I set one up). Not making money on a daily basis is difficult. I like my cash because I like books and art supplies and Targeting. The feeling of guilt, even though I know I shouldn’t because they already had my position filled the day after my last day.
That’s pretty much all I can think of at the moment. I am sure that more for each category will reveal itself in the future.
I do need to remember that I have a valuable skill. Well, many, but if push comes to shove I am really going when it comes to hair (seriously, I know, I know…I am not trying to be cocky. I know as well as anyone that no matter how good I am at something there is always going to be someone out there that is better…it’s actually something that is always in my mind, no matter what I set out to accomplish. I don’t let it hold me back, I just use it to work harder at what I do) and I will be able to get a job in a salon if that time comes.
For now, though, I will stick with my plan of being the Founder, Owner and CEO of my own company and hope for the best. And as soon as I make my first sale I will take a dollar and frame it for good luck.
Wish me luck!
