Self Mastery:

St. Augustine said, “The bridle put upon the throat must be held with moderate looseness and moderate firmness.”

Recall from your school days how you would study a subject from a 100 level course as a freshman to the 400 level as a senior.  I’d like to breakdown self-mastery in that same manner. Self-Mastery 101: we must be patient as Augustine cautioned with ourselves and persevere as we seek to correct our habitual sins.  201: we must identify our root sin or dominant defect.  For many this is pride, vanity or sensuality.   301: we must seek fellowship, accountability and mentoring.  This can usually be found in a small men’s group.  401: seek opportunities to mortify oneself through voluntary self-denial and compliment this practice with frequent confessions and communions.

Brotherhood:

St. Francis de Sales once said, “This wretched life is only a journey to the happy life to come.  We must not be angry with one another on the way, but rather we must march on as a band of brothers…united in meekness, peace and love.”

I have two biological brothers and hundreds of spiritual brothers that our instrumental in my masculine faith journey.  I know I need them and I know they need me.  These men are constantly teaching, challenging and confirming my mission as a man.  We don’t always agree with one another, but we can do so without harboring any ill feelings.  We are pure gift to one another.  If you haven’t realized the gift of the brothers in your life, I invite you to tap into this great reservoir of meekness, peace and love that St. Francis described by forming your own band of brothers.

Mens Groups:

“As he was walking by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon…and his brother Andrew.  He said to them ‘Come after me and I will make you fishers of men.’  At once they left their nets and followed him” (Matthew 4:18).

Here we have the official start of the first Christian men’s group.  Jesus taught primarily in small groups.  He departed from this on three occasions: the Sermon on the Mount and the two feedings of 5,000.  Jesus most often chose to work one-on-one or in clusters like the 12 apostles.  If it was good enough for Jesus it should be good enough for us.  Yet many men today see little to no value in coming together in small groups.  Weekly men’s faith formation groups are popping up all over the Church.  If you would like to join in this apostolic movement of men, I invite you to check out the opportunities in your area

Accountability:

St. Francis de Sales said, “In the single act of confession you will exercise more virtues than in any other act whatsoever.”

In the Sacrament of Confession we have the best source of accountability in the Church today.  Outside of the sacrament, we as men also need to sharpen one another and hold each other accountable.  St. James, in his epistle, encouraged the early Christians to confess their sins to one another in order that healing may be realized.  Working in ministry with men the last 7 years , I can tell you this so true.  A man has innate ability to speak into the heart of another man.  Through mentoring and fraternal correction a man can sour spiritually.  The ancient proverb is correct.  Iron does indeed sharpen iron and as iron sharpens iron, so does one man for another (27:17).

Saint Augustine:

St. Augustine wrote in his Confessions, “Our hearts are restless till they rest in you O Lord.”

St. Augustine of Hippo was a man’s man.  He loved his guy friends.  They were truly brothers to him.  He writes, “Well has someone said of his friend that he is half of his soul.”  Saint Augustine saw value in having a “band of brothers.”  How much value do you place on forming this type of relationship with other men?  For the saint, these men were “like fuel to set our minds ablaze and to make but one out of many.”  Many men today fail to see the benefits of keeping company with other Godly men.  The world’s message for men involves often womanizing and capitalizing on the misfortune of others.  It was not so with Augustine.  “For without friends,” he said, “I could not be happy.”

Father Wound:

“And a voice came from the heavens saying, ‘This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.”

Healing a father wound is not a quick fix.  For many men, this wound was inflicted over many years and for some, many years are necessary for healing.  My wife told me once that God’s healing is instant.  I believe it is true, yet it is our claiming of that healing that is often not instant.  In the parable of the prodigal son, we see the perfect example of God’s instant healing and restoration capability.  Recall the story: “While he was still a long way off, his father caught sight of him, and was filled with compassion.  He ran to his son, embraced him and kissed him” (Luke 15:20).  God wants to restore each one of us to the “beloved son” status.  As fathers, let us always show our children we delight in them.

Noble Battles:

St. John Vianney once said, “All soldiers are good in garrison.  On the field of battle we see the difference between the brave and cowardly.”

Why are so many middle-aged men having a mid-life crisis today?  It’s because they are not engaged in a noble battle.  They have forgotten the joy of taking the battlefield and winning the day for some great woman or cause.  Men must awaken to the reality that their faith without action is dead.  It is in our nature as men to fight for what is good, true and beautiful.  It is in our nature to fight the evils of our day: abortion, pornography and a re-definition of traditional marriage.  Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati said “to live without faith, without a patrimony to defend, without a steady struggle for truth, that is not living but existing.”  Don’t persist to exist anymore brothers!  Come alive and engage in a noble battle today!

Masculinity:

In the Divine Praises, we say the words “Blessed be Jesus Christ, True God and True Man.”

Authentic masculinity begins and ends with Jesus Christ.  The blueprint for authentic manhood is found in the Gospels.  Read Sacred Scripture brothers and you will grow in the knowledge of what it means to be a man.  In the Gospel of Matthew Jesus said, “Learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart” (11:29).  In Luke, He says “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross and follow me” (9:23).  Becoming authentically masculine means submitting to God’s power and the humility of the cross.   Jesus Christ is the true leader, protector and provider and the only authentic witness to masculinity.  Lord Jesus, help us to be more like you!

Chivalry:

In the Medieval Code of Chivalry during the time of the Crusades, every crusader had to swear “to defend the weak, the orphan, the widow and the oppressed; he should be courteous, and women should receive his special care.”

Restoring the forgotten art of chivalry today begins with a radical rejection of the male passivity that is plaguing the men of our society and Church.  Men need to reclaim for themselves the characteristics of knighthood.  Some of these include: fearing God and maintaining His Church; speaking truth at all times; and persevering to the end in any enterprise begun.  Jesus Christ was the first knight!  He fought for the welfare of all of us.  As men we must follow Christ’s example and become chivalrous knights once again.  We must keep faith and take our own modern day oath of allegiance to the Lord.

Men’s Retreats:

Luke 5:16 reads: “He withdrew himself into the wilderness to pray.”

There is something special about going on a men’s retreat.  When this retreat is combined with an outdoor experience it is quite often primed for a transformational encounter with God.  Jesus was always retreating into deserted places to pray and be with His Father.  In Sacred Scripture, God often reveals Himself on a mountaintop: Moses on Mt. Sinai and Jesus with His Sermon on the Mount and Transfiguration.  If you are struggling to know God’s plan for your life, I invite you to do as Jesus did and retreat into the wilderness.  There are many retreat programs in the Church today.  I invite you to learn more about these exciting, transformational retreat opportunities in your area.

Courage:

CS Lewis once said, “Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.”

Courage is synonymous with the cardinal virtue of fortitude.  The Catechism teaches that “fortitude strengthens the resolve to resist temptations and to overcome obstacles in the moral life.  The virtue enables one to conquer fear, even fear of death, and to face trials and persecutions.  It disposes one ever to renounce and sacrifice his life in defense of a just cause.”  This is Jesus Christ.  As men we are grafted into the Sonship of Christ by virtue of our baptism and gift of masculinity.  The world needs more men to activate the virtue of courage.  “One man with courage is a majority” said Andrew Jackson.  Are you that man?

Abortion:

Blessed John Paul II wrote: “Man’s life comes from God: it is His image and imprint, as sharing in His breath of life.  God therefore is the sole Lord of this life: man cannot do with it as he wills.”

Post-abortion healing pioneer Monsignor Mike Mannion often says the pro-life issue is a man’s issue.  He says this because it is always a man who puts a woman in this crisis in the first place.  If men knew how to properly love women and lead, protect and provide for their emotional and financial welfare, then there would never be a call for abortion on demand in our country.  Men need to step-up and assume their posts on the battlefield.  There is no more important work to be done then the saving of an innocent life in the womb of a woman in crisis.

Husband:

St. Paul instructed husbands “love your wives, even as Christ loved the church.”

Being a good husband, like fatherhood, is of vital importance to the health of the domestic church.  Reading St. Paul’s exhortation to husbands and wives in Ephesians 5:25 will help a man to begin to plumb the depths of this vast ocean known as the spousal role.  In verse 28, Paul tells husbands to love their wives as their own bodies.   Husbands must love their wives like Christ loved.  We must sacrifice and give everything of ourselves.  Most people tend to be very focused on their individual health and needs and so all men should have an appreciation for the time and energy it takes to care for their individual bodies.  Each one of us as men should ask ourselves: are we giving that same amount of time and attention to our wives?

Fatherhood:

Proverbs 22:6 says “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is older he will not depart from it.”

Abraham Lincoln once said “There is only one way to bring up a child in the way he should go, and that is to travel that way yourself.”  Becoming a good father is arguably the most important task for each one of us as men.  Whether you are a spiritual or biological father, your fatherhood is a primordially important role.  Generations depend on it!  Good fathers have good kids.  Faith filled fathers have faith filled kids.  Let us accept this noble vocation with love and devotion in our hearts and we ask St. Joseph, the patron of all fathers, to teach us to be fathers in his image and send us the grace needed to be noble heads of our families.

Chastity:

St. Francis de Sales once said, “The word of God is chaste, and makes those who delight in it chaste.”

Chastity is sexual self-control.  It is a virtue and one of the 12 fruits of the Holy Spirit.  Jesus said in His Sermon on the Mount “Blessed are the pure of heart for they will see God.”  Nothing impure will enter Heaven and so this life offers us an apprenticeship in the pursuit of chastity.  In our sex crazed society one might be inclined to despair in the difficulty of obtaining chastity.  So great is the virtue that St. Francis called it the “lily of virtues [that] makes men almost equal to the angels.”  So what are we to do?  St. John Vianney taught that 3 things are necessary for purity:  “ the practice of the presence of God, prayer and the Sacraments; and the reading of the holy books—which nourishes the soul.”

Pornography:

Jesus said, “everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Every man I know is guilty at one time or another of looking lustfully at a woman.  Hard not to be guilty of such in our sex saturated culture.  But Christ calls us to something better.  He calls each one of us to freedom and He offers us the Sacraments of Holy Eucharist and Reconciliation to help us.  But we must be vigilant if we are going to find our freedom from lust.  Proverbs 6:27 says “can a man take fire in his lap and his garments not get burned?” What is the fire for you?  Cable TV…Internet?  When you discover the fire in your life that triggers sin it is time to get rid of it.  Recall St. Augustine’s conversion when he read these words from St. Paul over 1500 years ago: “Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the desires of the flesh.”

Virtue:

St. Gregory Nazianzen once said “The perfect practice of a single virtue can reach the heights in all virtues.”

In the book “Boys to Men: The Transforming Power of Virtue” virtues are explained as a blueprint for being a man.  The very term virtue comes from the Latin word for man, vir.  For the ancients, to be manly was to be virtuous.  The term ‘virtue’ in Latin (virtus) signifies power, strength, and ability.  Thus the virtues are habits that give us the power to act in a manly way.”  The Catechism explains that a virtue is a firm and habitual disposition to do the good.  A sure sign that we possess virtue is if our choices are made with ease, promptitude and joy.  The next time you receive a temptation reflect if your choice was made with ease, promptitude and joy.  If it wasn’t then that virtue is yet to be possessed by you.

Provider:

It has been said, “Years from now that people will remember you by what they see in your kids.”

Being a good provider means so much more than being able to bring a paycheck home that covers all the bills and takes the family on vacation once a year.  Biblically speaking a provider is summed up best in Chapter 6 of the Gospel of Matthew.  Jesus said, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat [or drink], or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?”  Men: follow the will of God in all that you do and God will grant you the necessary provision for all you are doing.  St. Augustine explained it this way: “Work as if everything depended on you and pray as if everything depended on God.”  Better still, Christ says “seek first the kingdom [of God] and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides.”

Protector:

Freud said, “I can’t think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.”

In our culture today, women and children are daily victimized by the multi-billion dollar abortion and pornography industries.  We must engage the enemy on the front lines by courageously standing up for life and the dignity of the human person.  Practically speaking, men need to call on their collective strengths and talents to fight evil on a local and national level.  We must work to ensure that our government is enforcing obscenity laws and ensure that pro-life legislators and judges are elected and appointed.  As we strive to be better protectors let us call on St. Joseph, the protector of the Holy Family, to intercede on our behalf.  We pray that we may be granted the necessary fortitude to fulfill our duties as protectors of women and children.

Leader:

Jesus said, “I have given you a model to follow, so that as I have done for you, you should also do.”

If men are truly going to become the leaders they are created to be then they must assume their role as a servant of others.  How can we practically do this today?  Start by serving those who are placed in your care: your wife and children, your mother and father.  Seek to understand their needs and do your best to put forward servant leadership in those relationships.   Christ said, “If I therefore, the master and teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash one another’s feet…Amen, Amen I say to you, no slave is greater than his master nor any messenger greater than the one who sent him.  If you understand this, blessed are you if you do it.”