My buddy Chad, a 9th grade science teacher, called me at 7AM this morning in a bit of a panic.  “Marc,” he said. “I promised my students I’d have a guest speaker here today, but the speaker just canceled on me at the last minute.  I know you love motivating others, so is there any way you could come in this morning and be our substitute speaker?”

“What’s the topic?” I asked.

“How to save the world,” he replied with a chuckle.  “I’m kidding.  The speaker I had scheduled was from the city waste management counsel.  She was supposed to speak to the kids about the importance of recycling and conserving the environment and so forth.”

“I don’t know,” I replied.  “I don’t really have any…”

“Come on, Marc,” he insisted.  “Please.  Pretty please!  I know it would mean so much to the kids if you came in today.  And I’ve been meaning to ask you to be a guest speaker for awhile now.”

I thought about it for a second.  “Well… okay.  What time do you need me to come in?”

“Yes!  Thank you!  If you could be here at 9AM that would be awesome!”

“Uh, yeah… I’ll see you then,” I replied with a bit of uncertainty in my voice.

Crashing and Burning

I arrived promptly at 9AM.  After a short introduction by Chad, I walked up to the front of the classroom.  I didn’t have any cool props or cue cards.  In fact, I barely had enough time to think about what I was going to say.  But as 42 sets of inquiring eyes stared at me, I knew I only had one shot, just one shot to convince them that they could make a difference in this crazy world.  So I took a deep breath and said:

“What if I told you that you and your immediate family were personally contributing to catastrophic environmental issues around the world?  And what if I told you that it gets even worse?  What if I also told you that you were directly contributing to human starvation, water and energy shortages, widespread health problems, and so much more?”

The kids remained quiet but seemed irritated.  “It’s true,” I continued.  “You might not realize you’re doing these things, but you are…”  And with every word that left my lips, the kids seemed less and less interested in what I had to say.

I wasn’t lying to them.  Because I know for a fact that only a small fraction of American families live sustainable lifestyles.  But I wasn’t winning any friends or influencing a single kid with my approach.  I was actually doing the exact opposite – I was crashing and burning in a big way.

A Second Chance

And just when I started to seriously choke over my words, the fire alarm went off.  It was just a fire drill, but I was so relived because it gave me a chance to regroup and effectively organize my thoughts.  And as we walked back into the classroom, I knew I had less than thirty seconds to recapture the attention of my audience.  So I took another deep breath and said:

“How many of you have ever donated canned goods to the needy?  Wow, almost all of you!  That’s great!  Now, how many of you recycle on a regular basis?”  Everyone in the class raised a hand.  I smiled.  “Oh, this is inspiring!  And how many of you have ever held the door open for someone else behind you?”  Again, almost every kid raised a hand.

“Well, I’m really impressed,” I stated in a sincere tone.  “I’m so sorry.  Please accept my apology.  I was totally wrong about you all.  It appears that we have a whole classroom filled with go-getters who are already practiced in bettering our world.  You should be proud of yourselves.”

Smiles broke out across the classroom.

“Now let’s take a moment and think about something together,” I continued.  What if – without making much more of an effort than we’re making right now – we could join collectively as one and feed every starving person in the world, restore the environment, inspire positive change in the lives of others, and have fun in the process?  Would you do it?  Would you want to learn how?”

“Yeah!”  the kids replied collectively.

Well that too is inspiring!” I shouted.  “Because if we could convince enough people to think the way you do, together we could do all of these things and so much more… together we could save the world.”

Again, big smiles broke out across the classroom.

Conclusion

There are two methods for inspiring positive change in our youth.  The first is to ask them to look in the mirror and see the absolute worst of themselves, and hope that they have enough self-confidence to make a change.  The second is to ask them to look in the mirror and see the absolute best of themselves, which gives them the self-confidence needed to make a change.

Photo by: notsogoodphotography

This guest post was written by Diggy, author of Upgrade Reality.

No two people are identical, not even identical twins.  Everyone is a one-of-a-kind.  And do you know what a one-of-a-kind is worth?  Priceless!  Yes, this means YOU are priceless.

From the day we are born and open our eyes, we start to grow into the person we will ultimately become as a result of the environment we are exposed to and the experiences we endure.  And although our parents and mentors have a large impact on our upbringing, we rarely walk the exact path they had in mind for us.

There is only one success:  To be able to spend your life in your own way.
- Christopher Morely

Don’t Be Someone Else’s Puppet

Contrary to the way many people behave, we do not have to do what other people tell us to do all of the time.  We are constantly under siege from family, friends, strangers and the media to act, behave and live in certain ways.  But despite all of these external influences, we have the ultimate choice to make our own decisions.

Be True To Yourself

“Be true to yourself or you aren’t true to anyone.”

This is a powerful quote my mother told me a long time ago.  And whenever I make a decision I try to stick to it.  It is one thing to lie to other people, but it is much worse to lie to yourself.  Many people get into the habit of ignoring their true desires and instead they just do what they believe is expected of them by others.  I promise you, this path will only lead to failure on all fronts.

Find and Follow Your Own Values

If you want to please somebody, be honest.  Do what they ask of you only when their values and expectations align with yours, and not because you merely want to impress them.   Do not study to be a lawyer because your parents have been telling you to since you were ten years old.  Instead, become a pilot, or an engineer, or whatever, because it’s your passion.  In other words, figure out what makes you tick and pursue it!

Leave the Comfort of Your Nest

Never forget the definition of insanity:  Doing the same thing every day of every month of every year, and expecting different results.  If you want to truly live, and not merely exist, you have to leave the comfort of your nest.  You have to forge your own path through the uncharted waters around you - for it is these uncharted waters that will eventually lead you to the shores of your goals.

Make Choices and Take Risks

The best way to forge your own path and live a life of fulfillment is to listen to your heart and overcome your natural fears.  You’ll never get to the place you want to be if you’re afraid to make the necessary choices to get there.

Do not be afraid of what someone will think of you or say to you if you express your passion and tell them what you really want to do with your life.  Do not be afraid to make a choice that seems a little risky – everything in life, even getting out of bed in the morning, involves risk.  If you intend to live, you have to accept risks.

Conclusion

It’s your life to live and your life to enjoy, no one else’s.  Nobody on this planet walks the exact same path as you, and this is precisely what makes life so remarkable and fun.  Although others may be able to show you parts of the path, you must take the initiative to walk it on your own.  Because as Morpheus said in The Matrix, “Neo, sooner or later you’re going to realize, just as I did, that there’s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.”

So stay true to yourself, follow your instincts, and listen to your heart every step of the way.

Diggy is the author of UpgradeReality.com, a blog that explores the beauty and simplicity of self-improvement.  If you enjoyed this post then consider subscribing to his RSS feed.

Photo by: Guilherme Cecílio

The Only Way

My cell phone rang just after midnight.  I didn’t answer.  Then it rang again a minute later.  I rolled over, grabbed the phone off the night stand, and squinted at the bright, glowing caller ID screen. “Claire,” it read.  Claire is a close friend – a friend who tragically lost her husband to a car accident six months ago.  And I figured since she rarely calls me in the middle of the night, it was probably important.

“Hey, Claire.  Is everything okay?” I asked.

“No!” she declared as she burst into tears.  “I need to talk…  I need help…”

“I’m listening,” I reassured her.  “What’s on your mind?”

“I lost my job this evening, and I’m tired, and I just don’t know anymore…”

“A job is just a job.  They come and go.  Remember, Angel lost her job last year and it was a blessing in disguise.  She found something better.”

“I know, I know,” she sighed over her tears.  “I just felt like the world was going to end after the accident…  Ya know?  And then my friends and family helped me get back on my feet…”

“And you’re still on your feet right now,” I added.

“Well, sometimes I feel like I am, and sometimes I feel like I’m barely maintaining my balance, and sometimes I feel like I’m falling again.  And this series of feelings just keeps cycling over and over again in a loop – good days followed by bad days and vice versa.  It’s just one long struggle.  And I’m exhausted!”

“But you keep moving forward…”

“Actually,” she continued over more tears.  “The only way I’ve found to keep myself moving forward from moment to moment through the hard times is by repeating a short saying my grandfather taught me when I was a kid.  And I don’t know how or why it helps now, but it does.”

“What’s the saying?” I asked.

“Do your best with what’s in front of you and leave the rest to the powers above you,” she replied.

I smiled.  Because I love pieces of inspirational prose that help people progress through even the hardest of times.  And because it suddenly reminded me of a short story my grandfather told me when I was a kid – one that’s also applicable to Claire’s circumstance.

“Your grandfather was a wise man,” I said.  “And it’s funny, because your grandfather’s saying reminds me of a short story my grandfather once told me.  Would you like to hear it?”

“Yeah,” she replied.

My Grandfather’s Story

Once upon a time, in a small Indian village, the village fisherman accidentally dropped his favorite fishing pole into the river and was unable to retrieve it.  When his neighbors caught word of his loss, they came over and said, “That’s just bad luck!”  The fisherman replied, “Perhaps.”

The following day, the fisherman hiked a mile down the bank of the river to see if he could find his fishing pole.  He came upon a small, calm alcove in the river bank that was loaded to the brim with salmon.  He used a back-up fishing pole to catch nearly 100 salmon, loaded them into his wagon, and brought them back to the village to barter with other villagers.  Everyone in the village was ecstatic to receive the fresh salmon.  When his neighbors caught word of his success, they came over and said, “Wow!  What great luck you have!”  The fisherman replied, “Perhaps.”

Two days later, the fisherman began hiking back towards the alcove so he could catch more salmon.  But a tenth of a mile into the hike, he tripped on a tree stump and severely sprained his ankle.  He slowly and painfully hopped back to the village to nurse his health.  When his neighbors caught word of his injury, they came over and said, “That’s just bad luck!”  The fisherman replied, “Perhaps.”

Four days went by, and although the fisherman’s ankle was slowly healing, he could not yet walk, and the village was completely out of fish to eat.  Three other villagers volunteered to go to the river to fish while the fisherman recovered.  That evening, when the three men did not return, the village sent a search party out for them only to discover that the men had been attacked and killed by a pack of wolves.  When the fisherman’s neighbors caught word of this, they came over and said, “You’re so lucky you weren’t out there fishing.  What great luck you have!”  The fisherman replied, “Perhaps.”

“A few days later… well, you can guess how the story continues,” I said.

The Moral of the Story

Claire chuckled and said, “Thank you.”  Because the moral of the story was immediately clear to her.  We just don’t know – we never do.  Life is an unpredictable phenomenon.  No matter how good or bad things seem right now, we can never be 100% certain what will happen next.

And this actually lifts a huge weight off of our shoulders.  Because it means that regardless of what’s happening to us right now – good, bad or indifferent, it’s all just part of the phenomenon we call ‘life’ – which flows like the river in my grandfather’s story, unpredictably from one occurrence to the next.  And the smartest choice we can make is to swim with the flow of the river.

Which means, quite simply, not panicking in the face of unforeseen misfortunes or losing our poise in limelight of our triumphs, but instead “doing our best with what’s in front of us and leaving the rest to the powers above us.”

Photo by: A. Andres

What is uttered from the heart alone,
Will win the hearts of others to your own.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

This morning I was writing a blog entry at a local beach-side coffee shop here in San Diego when a young woman approached me.  “You’re Marc, right?” she asked.

I looked up at her.  She had piercing eyes, a pierced nose, an elegant smile… but nothing that rang a bell.  “I’m sorry.  Do I know you?” I inquired politely.

“No,” she replied.  “But I know you.”  She swiftly walked back to the table where she’d been sitting, picked up her laptop, and carried it over to me.  On the screen was Marc and Angel Hack Life.  “You look just like your photo,” she said in a chipper tone.

I smiled.  “So you’re one of the seven people who read it.”

She blushed.  “What I like about your writing is that it’s so real.”

I cleared my throat.  “Real?” I asked.

“I mean… you don’t hide anything.  You say it just like it is.  And that gives me hope!”

“How do you know that I don’t hide anything?” I asked.

She paused, tilted her head slightly and squinted her eyes as if, maybe, to look for something inside me that she had missed before.  “Well, your words seem so, so… honest.”

Her compliment was appreciated, but it didn’t feel fair.  Perhaps because I’m not very good at accepting compliments, or perhaps because I’ve been thinking about honesty lately… and I’ve decided that I don’t like the word and its connotations.

The Ruse

“There are some things you should probably know,” I said.  “If I know a picture is being taken of me, I usually make a crooked half smile because I think it’s sexy.  If an attractive girl touches my arm, I flex a little bit because I think she prefers harder muscles.  And if I know people are coming over to my condo, I run around like a mad man and make it spotless before they arrive, because I’d like them to think that I’m clean and organized all of the time.”

“But…”

“And that’s just the beginning,” I continued.  “When I write a blog entry, I’m typically only writing about the people and experiences that inspire a single sentence that moves me.  For instance, in today’s post that sentence is: “Honesty is a matter of perception and intention.”  The rest is just my attempt to bring that sentence to life – to show why it’s meaningful to me.”

“But can’t you see…”

“And when I want to impress someone I’ve just met for the first time, I pretend that I’m overly outgoing and fearless.  And I try to say funny or profound things like, “Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.”  But it usually doesn’t come out right because I don’t really want to be funny or fearless or profound.  Not right then.  I just want to break the ice and introduce myself.  And I want to do it without stumbling over my words…”

“Marc, this is exactly the kind of honesty that inspires me!”

“You’re missing the point.  These are revelations… and they’re revealing the ruse.  The sexy crooked smiles aren’t the smiles you see most often.  And the blog posts rarely include the sentences that inspire them.  And the folks I introduce myself to don’t see the real me, and they don’t realize that I’m nervous because I’m trying to impress them… because I want them to like me… and because…”

You’re The Guy

“Who are you trying to impress?” she asked.

“That’s not the point,” I said.

“But I want to know,” she insisted.

“This is what I mean…” I continued.  “An honest person would just tell it to you straight.  But I write stories about a guy who wishes he was his cat, and nights of dancing naked, and Jamaican women in ice cream parlors… and who the heck knows what will come next.”

“But you’re the guy who wishes he was his cat, right?” she asked.

I grinned. “Shhh… don’t tell anyone.”

“But won’t the new people you want to impress and all of the important people in your life know how you feel… now?” she asked.

“No,” I replied.  “I don’t think they read this blog.”

Revelation

We shared a long silence during which her gaze locked directly into the depths of my eyes.  Finally, she said, “I think I understand better why you give me hope.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because at some point the world forgot – or perhaps never knew – that honesty isn’t about whether we make sexy smiles for the camera, mask autobiographical blog posts about our desires to be a cat, or try not to show our apprehension before meeting someone new.  Rather, honesty – revelation – is a matter of perception and intention.  And somebody recognizes that.  And it gives me hope and makes me think.”

I smiled.  “And one other thing,” she said.

“What?” I asked.

“I’m pretty sure that whoever you want to impress will appreciate you just the way you are.  I know I do.”

Photo by: Toni Blay

This guest post was written by Karl Staib, author of Work Happy Now.

“Why am I insisting on procrastinating right now?”  You all know what I’m talking about – that dreaded task that makes you ignore reality.  It’s just sitting on your ‘to do’ list, ready to be tackled, but for some reason you keep checking your email.  You just checked it five minutes ago, but maybe now there is an important email needing your attention.

Does this sound like somebody you know?

This is a common theme throughout many of our work days.  We keep avoiding a difficult task because we are afraid to face it.

The questions of…

• What if I **** it up?
• What if I can’t do it by myself?
• What if I look stupid?

These debilitating questions can kill the motivation of even the strongest person, especially if these questions are left to fester.  Once the wound is open, it’s hard to ignore it.  Worry creeps in and it won’t let go.

Here are some of the concepts that I use to overcome my dread of a difficult task:

Start now

When you let your molehill turn into a mountain, the fear only builds and builds until you face it.  That means you just have to jump in and get started.  Once you start, you will begin to identify your strengths and weaknesses.  Breaking down the task in parts will make it seem possible and actually enjoyable to do.

Separate the hard parts from the easy parts

Every task has its hard and easy parts.  When you can separate the two, you can pick the type of work that fits your mood.  Let’s say you work best in the late morning.  You can then choose to pick the hardest tasks for this time period.  If your energy dips in the late afternoon, you can choose to do work that is easier and uses less brain power during this time.

Enjoy the emotional challenge

Difficult tasks are usually avoided because of the suffering that they may cause.  You worry about how you might become frustrated, angry or sad.  Acknowledging these feelings is a great first step in building your emotional strength.

A friend of mine told me that before she had kids, her patience was minimal.  After having two kids, she has the patience of a saint.  I’m always impressed with her calm demeanor when she is telling her kids to stop screaming while she is talking on the phone.  She has this calm quality of a Zen master.

You can use a difficult challenge to become more patient, more relaxed, or just quicker to release frustration when you engage your emotional development at work.

Figure out how this task will help the future you

When I was an assistant teacher, I dreaded the days when the head teacher was sick.  It meant that I had to be the disciplinarian, time keeper, leader and so many other roles.  It was easier to just follow the head teacher’s lead.  I kept thinking these thoughts until I realized that I could use the experience to my advantage, because I wanted to be a teacher some day (little did I know I would be a teacher of work happiness).

I embraced the work as a way to become stronger instead of trying to avoid it.

Chip away everyday

You may look back at the end of the busy day and realize you didn’t get half of what you wanted accomplished.  This usually happens because you did the light work instead of the heavy lifting.  The way to feel fulfilled at the end of the day is to tackle the difficult tasks early so you can ease up when your energy wanes.

You’ll be impressed at the end of the week at how much you really were able to accomplish.

Find someone that wants to help you

A difficult task is dreaded because of all the work that lies before you.  You feel like you can’t do it all by yourself.  And you shouldn’t.  That’s why finding someone to help you is very important to your emotional health.  This person can be a creative sounding board as well as someone you can complain to when things don’t go quite right.

Find someone who doesn’t have all the same strengths as you.  Try to match yourself with a person who can make up for your weaknesses and complement your strengths.

Ask yourself, “Am I the right person for the job?”

There are some jobs that just don’t fit with your strengths.  Heck, you can’t be good at everything.  When working for someone, you may not have the power to turn down a project.  That is why #6 is even more important.  Adding people to your team will allow you to work on tasks that are aligned with your strengths.

If you are repeatedly given work that you don’t like, then you may need to make a change.  You have an obligation to yourself to do work that makes you feel successful.

Share your insights with others

The bonus to working on a difficult task is the knowledge that you will gain.  It’s a great feeling to have this knowledge, but you need to take it to the next level.  Try sharing it with others via blog, newsletter, over the phone or in person.  You’ll love the reaction from your audience.

And that’s the best part of teaching.  Teachers learn as much as their students.

Karl Staib writes about the importance of happiness in the workplace and how to achieve it on his blog, Work Happy Now.

Photo by: Paulgi

This guest post was written by Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval, authors of THE POWER OF SMALL.

In today’s deadline driven, digital world, taking the time to ‘shoot the breeze’ with a coworker, neighbor, or passing stranger can seem like a waste of time.  But, in reality, nothing could be further from the truth.  Whether you’re a Washington politician or a barista at a local coffee shop, every one of us has the unique ability to inspire change in our lives and in the lives of others around us.  And small talk is the key.

When we were writing our book, THE POWER OF SMALL: Why Little Things Make All the Difference, we discovered a truly amazing story that brought our attention to the unexpected ways in which ‘small talk’ can change and save lives.  In this case, it all started with a cup of coffee and a simple conversation.

The Story of Annamarie and Sandie

Every morning, when Annamarie Ausnes would head to her local Starbucks to pick-up her usual coffee, she looked forward to making a bit of small talk with the barista, Sandie Anderson, but she never imagined that those little conversations would one day save her life.

Over time, what had begun as a casual, “How’s your morning?” or “Nice weather, huh?” eventually grew into more personal exchanges about their grandkids, weekend plans, and holiday traditions, until one day Sandie noticed something wasn’t quite right with her “short-drip double-cupped” customer. And instead of ignoring it, she decided to trust her instincts and asked one simple question: “Are you okay?”

At first, Annamarie was reluctant to confide in her barista buddy, but with a little prodding, she opened up.

“Actually, I’m not doing so well,” she sighed.  “I was just placed on the national kidney transplant list and I’m getting ready to go on dialysis.”

To her shock, Sandie would discover that her friendly customer faced a bleak future.  Distraught and determined to help, Sandie announced that she would get tested to see if she could become a donor.

As luck would have it, Sandie turned out to be a match and donated a kidney to Annamarie. Today Annamarie is not only alive and well, the two women are dear friends.  And it all started with a cup of coffee and a little small talk.

Of course, not all of us have the ability or courage to make the huge gesture Sandie made by donating her kidney to a virtual stranger, but by simply making small talk, we open ourselves up to new people, new experiences, and new opportunities.  As children, we make friends easily.  We ask for each other’s names, we join in and play with one another.  But as we grow older, we tend to close ourselves off, shield ourselves with technology, and forget to acknowledge the people who are right in front of us.

So put away the iPhone for a minute, look up from your laptop, and take the first step by saying hello to the stranger sitting next to you.  You never know, they just might be the hero you’ve been hoping for.

In Their Own Words

Here’s a short video clip of Annamarie and Sandie sharing their story in their own words:

Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval are co-authors of the national bestseller THE POWER OF SMALL: Why Little Things Make All the Difference, which debuted on the best seller lists of the Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and The Washington Post.

Photo by: polandeze

Laugh with every breath.
Love as long as you live.

A Good Girl

Alyssa was my best friend.  She was a talented musician, a graceful gymnast, a brilliant writer, and a deeply passionate individual.  She cared so much about people.  Love bled from every facet of her being.  When she spoke, her eyes were as sincere as her words.  And she always wanted to understand what was wrong so she could strive to make it better.

But Alyssa woke up one day during her senior year in college with a strange pain in her chest.  The on-campus doctors didn’t understand why, so they referred her to a specialist.  After several MRIs and blood tests, they determined that she had a rare, escalated case of Hodgkin’s lymphoma – a form of cancer.  She spent the next three years suffering through varying degrees of pain and sickness as multiple doctors treated her with radiation and chemotherapy.  And although these doctors were initially hopeful, Alyssa’s condition worsened, and she eventually passed away on her 25th birthday.

A Bad Guy

Ethan was also my friend.  Though not as multi-talented as Alyssa, he was insanely smart – particularly when it came to money and business tactics.  But he didn’t care about people.  I eventually learned, just before ending our eight year friendship, that he ripped people off for a living.  He primarily targeted elderly folks who had a relatively small life savings.  “They’re all suckers,” he told me.  And he felt no remorse because, he continued, “they’ll be dead soon anyway.”

Today, at the age of 28, Ethan is a multi-millionaire.  And although we haven’t spoken in years, I’ve heard from others that he still hasn’t gotten into any legal trouble – largely, I think, because of the calculated threats that I’ve heard he makes to anyone he suspects might have a good conscience.  I hear, also, that he doesn’t suffer from any major health problems, and that he, his trophy wife, and his two healthy sons live in a mansion somewhere in Southern California.

The Reason

These are old stories – familiar stories.  The people and the circumstances differ slightly for everyone who tells them, but the core lessons remain the same.  Life isn’t fair.  Bad things do happen to good people.  And good things do happen to bad people.

Yet, these are the excuses many of us use when we choose not to follow our hearts.  And they are the excuses many of us use when we choose to treat ourselves and each other without dignity and respect.  “Why care?” we argue, “When the Alyssa’s of the world suffer and die young while the Ethan’s of the world sip wine at a five-star resort well into their 80’s.”

But for some of us, Alyssa and Ethan are the reason we do follow our hearts.  His story is the reason we live to make the world a little brighter, to make people a little happier.  And her story is the reason we use all of the strength we have right now.  Because we know we may not have the same strength tomorrow.

Because a world with no guarantees requires us to live every day…

As if it were our last.

Photo by: Stuant63

“Always be prepared!”  That’s the Boy Scout motto.  Most people keep their tools at home.  But if you aren’t at home, you probably drove your car to get to wherever you are.

Here are 22 useful tools you should keep in your car.

1. 2-3 Gallons of Water – You can drink it when you’re thirsty, use it as a cleaning/rinsing agent, pour it into your car’s cooling system if it’s overheating, etc.
2. Portable GPS – Being lost is not a fun feeling.  A GPS basically eliminates this possibility.  During a recent spring vacation to Costa Rica our Garmin GPS pretty much saved our rear ends on multiple occasions.
3. Hand Sanitizer – Because there isn’t a sink and a bar of soap conveniently located in your car.  In my mind, hand sanitizer is a tool, a tool that prevents me from infecting my body with germs on a daily basis.  Keep yourself healthy!  Sanitize your hands regularly… especially before you eat.
4. Multi-head Screwdriver – Take a look around.  I bet most of the manmade objects around you are being held together by screws.  Throughout your lifetime you’re going to need to tighten and loosen a whole lot of them.  And you won’t always be near your tool chest when these occasions arise.  Keep decent multi-head screwdriver with a wide assortment of screwdriver heads in your car and you’ll be prepared.
5. Adjustable Wrench – If screws aren’t holding it together then nuts and bolts almost certainly are.  You will eventually need to adjust the bolts on office furniture, your vehicle, and other objects when you’re out and about.  A basic 3-piece adjustable wrench set should fit the bill just fine.
6. Pliers – Your hands are not the most effective tool for gripping and maneuvering small objects.  That’s where pliers come in handy.  One set of pliers will not do the trick either. You’ll likely need a small assortment of pliers in various styles and sizes for different kinds of jobs.  At a minimum, keep a needle-nose, a heavy grooved, and a wire cutting pliers in your trunk.
7. Hammer – The single greatest tool of all time.  The hammer has an infinite set of practical applications.  A good old 16 oz claw hammer will provide a lifetime of reliable service.
8. Pen and Notepad – If you don’t write it down, you will forget it.  Regular note-taking is one of the most productive habits a person can practice.  Keep a pen and notepad in your car so you can jot down key ideas and information as they cross your mind.
9. First Aid Kit – Human beings are not made of titanium.  When you or someone you care about gets injured, a basic first aid kit becomes the single most important thing you own.  And what good is a first aid kit that’s sitting at home when you’re not at home?
10. Hands Free Set for Your Cell Phone – Why would any sane person drive one-handed while holding an odd shaped phone to their ear when they have the option to use a hands free set?
11. Multi-Use Car Charger – Some multi-use car chargers (like this one) allow you to charge up to four devices at once.  This unit turns one auto cigarette lighter port into two, has two USB charging ports, and provides a heavy-duty 20 amp capacity.  Now you can charge your iPhone, iPod, and other electronics on the go.
12. Prepaid Calling Card – A calling card basically allows you to call anyone, anywhere from any telephone.  They are particularly convenient when you misplace your cell phone or when you’re in an area that lacks cell service.
13. Duct Tape – If it’s moving and it shouldn’t be, duct tape it.  Duct tape may very well be the second greatest invention after the hammer.
14. Quality Sunglasses – Most people consider sight to be their most important sense.  Quality sunglasses protect the human eyes from being destroyed by the sun’s ultraviolet radiation.  This radiation can lead to short-term and long-term ocular problems such as cataracts, blindness and various forms of eye cancer.  So wear sunglasses when you’re out in the sunlight.
15. Work Gloves – Unfortunately, human hands are covered with fragile skin just like the rest of the body.  Sometimes you need to use your hands to accomplish a task that requires a durability threshold beyond that of your exposed skin.  This is where a rugged set of work gloves saves you from a few days worth of blistering agony.
16. Wind-up LED Flashlight – What happens if your car stalls at night on a dark road?  What happens if you need to search for something in a dark utility closet at work?  Always keep a wind-up LED flashlight (no batteries required) in your automobile.
17. Rubber Bands – Rubber bands are simple, functional and versatile.  There is an endless list of practical uses for a rubber band.
18. USB Flash Drive – One of the most practical accessories for a computer.  I can’t even count the number of times I’ve used my 16 gig flash drive to save some data from someone else’s system.  A USB flash drive is an essential tool you always need to have on you.
19. Small Fire Extinguisher – This one is a no-brainer.  Completely useless until the moment the sh*t hits the fan and the world around you is burning to the ground.  If you don’t keep a fire extinguisher handy, you’re being foolishly optimistic.
20. Leatherman – This is the all-in-one multi-tool you should never leave home without.  These little tools can handle a plethora of different jobs.  I personally own the Leatherman 830039 and I love it.
21. Bungee Cords – Tie things down, wrap things together… Bungee cords are like giant rubber bands with hooks.  They’re darn practical to have out on the road when you need them!
22. Spare Credit Card and Cash – Let’s go back to the Boy Scout motto again: “Always be prepared.”  If you lose your wallet when you’re out and about, it’s always nice to have a back-up plan.

While I’m sure this list could be expanded, these 22 tools are the tools I keep in my car.  And each of them has served me well over the years, saving me lots of frustration in my moments of need.

Photo by: Viernest

The impossible is what nobody can do until somebody does.

Teleportation is the new air travel.  Humans can walk on water.  And there is a cure for cancer.  These things will happen eventually because, quite simply, the nature of progression dictates that they must happen.  And because there are people on this planet who believe they can make them happen.

Are you one of these people?

3 Short Stories on Achieving the Impossible

When I was a high school freshman, a 260 pound freshman girl showed up for track and field try-outs.  Her name was Sara, and she was only there because her doctor said her health depended on it.  But once she scanned the crowd of students who were trying-out, she turned around and began walking away. Coach O’Leary saw her, jogged over, and turned her back around.  “I’m not thin enough for this sport!” Sara declared.  “And I’ll never be!  It’s impossible for me to lose enough weight.  I’ve tried.”  Coach O’Leary nodded, and promised Sara that her body type wasn’t suited for her current weight.  “It’s suited for 220 pounds,” he said.  Sara looked confused.  “Most people tell me I need to lose 130 pounds,” she replied.  “But you think I only need to lose 40?”  Coach O’Leary nodded again.  Sara started off as a shot put competitor, but spent every single afternoon running and training with the rest of the track team.  She was very competitive, and by the end of our freshman year she was down to 220 pounds.  She also won 2nd place in the county-wide shot put tournament that year.  Three years later, during our senior year, she won 3rd place in the 10K run.  Her competitive weight at the time was 130 pounds.

When Charles Darwin wrote The Origin of Species, which proposed the groundbreaking idea of evolution by natural selection, it launched a worldwide debate.  Supporters included scientists, historians, and others whose professions and worldviews required that they carefully analyze new ideas and adopt those that seemed to make sense.  Critics included theologians, conservative extremists, and others who were convinced that the current explanation of our ancestry was the only possible explanation.  This group of people, the ones who refused to accept the possibility of new ideas, eventually alienated themselves from the debate, and arguably failed to assist in the progression of mankind.  The people who didn’t blindly reject evolution, who instead questioned it, researched it, and sought to explore its possibilities, were able to achieve previously impossible feats by making important advances in various fields of study from sociology to history to medicine.

When Sergey Brin and Larry Page founded Google, they had absolutely no intention of building the most powerful Internet-based company in the world.  In the mid 1990’s the Internet was already saturated with hundreds of established search engine companies like Yahoo, Lycos, and Alta Vista.  Competing and succeeding in such a competitive environment seemed impossible to them.  So instead, they tried to sell their search technology to these companies.  And although Google, with its PageRank algorithm and efficient scaling, was clearly more cutting-edge than any search technology currently in place, none of these established companies wanted to get their hands dirty with Google’s new technology.  So after exhausting their options, Brin and Page decided to release Google to the public and directly compete with the biggest names in the business.  As we know, they blew them out of the water.

‘Impossible’ is Simply a State of Mind

If we can find the patience to see the world for what it is – dynamic, flexible, and loaded with untapped potential – and if we can accept the fact that change is an inevitable and brilliant part of life, then we can partake in the thrill of progression, and help shape a world in which the impossible becomes possible.

To achieve the impossible, we must first understand that the ‘state of impossible’ is simply a ‘state of mind.’  Nothing is truly impossible.  Impossibility only exists when we lack the proper knowledge and experience to comprehend how something can be possible.

Sara was convinced that it was impossible to lose weight because, in her past experience, it had never worked-out the way she had hoped.  19th-century theologians laughed at Charles Darwin’s theories because his theories didn’t come from the Bible, which, at the time, was their sole source of knowledge and truth.  Google’s old competitors didn’t recognize the next big thing when it was offered to them on a silver platter.  Why?  Because they didn’t want to bother with a new technology that they didn’t fully understand.  This ultimately forced Google’s Brin and Page to achieve their version of the ‘impossible.’

Conclusion

When people say something is impossible, what they really mean is, “I can’t imagine how it could be possible.”  But with more knowledge and experience, they’d begin to realize that anything is possible, it just takes a change in mindset.  Because ‘impossible’ is what we get when we haven’t trained our minds and our hearts to see past the systems that currently exist to ones that don’t yet exist.

So let’s start the training our minds and our hearts, today, so we can turn today’s impossibility into tomorrow’s possibility.

Photo by: Rajeshvj

The only way to get out of debt is to understand why you’re in debt in the first place.

And the truth is…

You will not save money when you get your next raise.  You will not save money when your car is paid off.  You will not save money when your kids are supporting themselves someday.  And you wouldn’t even save a dime if I handed you $100,000 in cash right now.

How do I know this?

Because saving money has very little to do with the amount of money you have.  In fact, you will only start to save money when saving becomes an emotional habit – when you start treating the money you handle everyday differently.

So this is why you are in debt:

• You buy miscellaneous crap you don’t need or use. – Stop buying ‘stuff’ on impulse!  Avoid the mall!  The mall is not a source for entertainment.  It’s a source for personal debt.  There’s no reason to tease yourself by staring at a bunch of brand new crap you don’t need.  And as you know, the novelty of a new purchase wears thin long before the credit card bill arrives.
• You use credit to purchase things you can’t afford to buy in cash. – If you can’t pay for it in cash today, don’t buy it today!  It’s as simple as that.
• You think of certain product brands as fashionable status symbols. – A car gets you from point ‘A’ to point ‘B.’  A purse holds your personal belongings.  A pair of sunglasses shades your eyes from the sun.  A shirt keeps you warm.  If you’re paying premium prices just to get a fashionable brand name labeled on each these products without any regard for how well the products actually serve their practical purpose, you have a problem.
• You buy a brand new car every few years. – See my previous point.  A car is a means of transportation to get you from one place to another.  If you’re buying a new car every few years even when your old car works fine, you’re likely trying too hard to impress the wrong people… and you’re going broke in the process.
• You buy things you could have borrowed from a friend or rented. – After you bought that DVD, how many times did you actually watch it?  Do you really want a 20 inch chainsaw collecting dust in your garage?  So you own a pressure washer you only use once every three years?  You get the point… borrow and rent when it makes sense.
• You pay retail prices on everything you buy. – If you’re paying retail prices, you’re getting screwed.  You can easily save well over $1000 a year on general purchases by waiting for sales and shopping at discount outlets.
• You own (or rent) way more house than you need. – When you buy or rent a house that’s bigger than you need, you end up wasting lots of money on larger monthly payments, higher upkeep costs, higher utility bills, and lots of random ‘stuff’ to fill up the extra empty space.
• You don’t follow any sort of formal budgeting plan. – Do you assume that if you wait around and make more money your finances and credit debt will magically resolve themselves?  I’m sorry to say, you’re dead wrong!  It takes a lot of planning and proactive budgeting to erase a pile of debt and build a nest egg of wealth.  So start now!
• You don’t automate 401K or savings deposits. – We’re ten years into the new millennium.  If you aren’t using simple technology to automate savings deposits, you pretty much deserve to be broke.
• You don’t leverage the small investments you do have. – You have to give your money the opportunity to make money.  Any capital you do have, no matter how small, should be invested using a basic, long-term investment strategy.  If your capital isn’t invested, it’s just losing value as inflation rises.
• You’re married to (or dating) a spend-thrift. – You’ll never get out of debt if you’re married to a person who spends every dime you make.  So help your soul mate become financially responsible, or except life in the poorhouse.
• You’ve never educated yourself on basic money management. – Responsible money management is not an innate human instinct.  You have to properly educate yourself.  If you don’t, you’ll stay exactly where you are now, in debt.
• You have a ‘get rich quick’ mentality. – For 99.99% of us, wealth doesn’t come instantly.  You’re far more likely to be struck by lightning twice than win the lottery once.  If you’re spending your time and money on a ‘get rich quick’ scheme, the debt will just keep piling up.
• You have nasty, money-sucking (and life-sucking) habits. – Smoking, drinking and gambling are all perfect examples of bad habits in which you choose to trade short term pleasure for long term debt and discomfort.  So light one up, shoot one down, and toss another chip across the table.  It’s only your life.
• You waste too much of your own time. – They say “time is money,” but I think time is way more valuable than money.  It’s the single greatest constituent of life.  If you fail to properly manage your time, you’ll absolutely fail to properly manage your money… and you’ll likely fail in every other aspect of your life as well.  So focus your time and energy on the important stuff and forget the rest.
• You aren’t taking care of your health. – Keep your body and mind healthy!  Major medical problems drain back accounts, increase insurance rates, keep you from working and earning money, and generally guarantee that you will have long-term financial problems.
• You aren’t enjoying life’s (free) simple pleasures. – The best things in life are free.  Stop wasting your money on second-rate entertainment and take a good look around you.  Mother Nature offers lots of entertainment free of charge.  Go hiking, go skinny dipping, play in the rain, build a bonfire with your friends, watch the sunset with your lover, etc.
• You went through an unfortunate divorce. – This final point might seem cruel, but it’s impossible to discuss the major reasons why people accumulate financial debt without mentioning divorce.  Divorce absolutely destroys the finances of both parties involved.  So the best advice I can give you is:  Don’t get married until you’re certain you want to spend the rest of your life with your significant other.  And don’t get a divorce until you’ve truly exhausted all of your other possible options (marriage therapy, etc.).

Please remember, financial debt can be avoided and erased.  It just takes a little effort, education, and determination on your end to make it possible.  So as I’ve said before, live a comfortable life, not a wasteful one.  Do not spend to impress others.  Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects.  Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you.  And always live well below your means.

I credit a fraction of who I am today to each of these books.  Many of these titles challenged my internal status quo, opening my mind to new ideas and opportunities.  And together, they gave me a basic framework for living, loving, learning and working successfully.

If you haven’t taken the time to read them, do yourself a favor and do so.  It will be time well spent.

1. The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck – Pretty much the granddaddy of all self-improvement books, it’s easily one of the best nonfiction works I’ve ever read.  By melding love, science, and spirituality into a primer for personal growth, Peck guides the reader through lessons on delaying gratification, accepting responsibility for decisions, dedicating oneself to truth and reality, and creating a balanced lifestyle.
2. Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton – The book’s basic point is sound – honesty is the best policy.  With a brash, ‘in your face’ writing style, Blanton states that lying is the primary cause of human stress and advocates strict truthfulness as the key to achieving intimacy in relationships and happiness in life.
3. The Art of Learning by Josh Waitzkin – Josh Waitzkin transformed himself from a championship chess master into an elite Tai Chi martial arts practitioner.  This book is part autobiography, part chess memoir, and part martial arts philosophy.  Essentially, Waitzkin offers his own approach to becoming a student and applying certain disciplines and habits toward learning and eventually mastering any skill.
4. Scratch Beginnings: Me, $25, and the Search for the American Dream by Adam Shepard – Shepard started his life over from scratch in Charleston, South Carolina, with $25 and the clothes on his back.  He lived in a homeless shelter while looking for work.  His goal was to start with nothing and, within a year, work hard enough to save $2500, buy a car, and to live in a furnished apartment.  “Scratch Beginnings” is sometimes sad, sometimes amusing, pointed and thought provoking - all the makings of a book well worth reading.
5. The Joy of Simple Living by Jeff Davidson – A great resource for anyone wanting to cut down on the clutter and confusion in their life.  Davidson takes a step-by-step, easy to follow approach to simplifying your house, garage, office, car, etc.  Not only will you learn to create an orderly home, you’ll gain the knowledge necessary to be a more successful spouse, parent, and worker by learning how to prioritize and simplify.
6. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini – Arguably the best book on the science of persuasion.  Cialdini explains the six psychological principles that drive our powerful impulse to comply to the pressures of others and shows how we can defend ourselves against manipulation (or put these principles to work for our own interests).
7. Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Ecker – This book competently discusses the missing link between wanting success and achieving it.  If you suspect that your mindset is holding you back from making more money and achieving your goals, you’d be wise to give this title a thorough read.
8. Management of the Absurd by Richard Farson – Farson zeros in on the paradoxes of communication, the politics of management, and the dilemmas of change, exploring relationships within organizations and offering a unique perspective on the challenges managers face.  I highly recommend this book for anyone in a management or leadership role, including parents and teachers.
9. Overachievement by John Eliot – According to Eliot, in order to achieve spectacular success, one must change his or her thoughts about pressure and learn to welcome it, enjoy it, and make it work.  Eliot says that goal-setting, relaxation, and visualization, the typical self-help suggestions, just don’t work well for most people.  This book provides some great food for thought that attempts to counteract the primary points of other major self-help gurus.
10. The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz – This is another classic self-improvement book.  Schwartz gives the reader useful, proactive steps for achieving success.  He presents a clear-cut program for getting the most out of your job, marriage, family life, and other relationships.  In doing so, he proves that you don’t need to be an intellectual or have innate talent to attain great success and satisfaction in life.
11. An Incomplete Education: 3,684 Things You Should Have Learned but Probably Didn’t by Judy Jones – Simply fun and insightful, this book is truly a wonderful supplement to any person’s mental knowledgebase.  It’s basically an intellectual outline of history with a lot of helpful charts and guides.  It’s written in a very humorous tone and nails the humor attempts more often than not.  Whether you’re interested in a ‘refresher’ or just a quick briefing on an academic area you never had time for, this book is for you.  It’s not in depth, but it does tell you what you should know in all areas, including history, philosophy, music, art, and even film.
12. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie – Easily one of the best and most popular books on people-skills ever written.  Carnegie uses his adept storytelling skills to illustrate how to be successful by making the most of human relations.
13. How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes – Another practical book about conversational people skills.  Lowndes helps the reader discover how to make small talk work, how to break the ice, how to network at a party, how to use body language to captivate your audience, and much more.
14. The Irresistible Offer by Mark Joyner – Create an irresistible offer.  Present it to people who need it.  And sell it almost instantly.  A great sales and marketing primer for anyone trying to sell something.
15. Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich – This is the book that provoked Adam Shepard to write “Scratch Beginnings.”  It’s another first person perspective on poverty in America.  In the book, Ehrenreich moves into a trailer and works as a waitress, hotel maid, and Wal-Mart sales clerk.  Nickel and Dimed reveals low-rent America in all its tenacity, anxiety, and duality.  I found it to be an extremely thought-provoking read.
16. The Power of Less by Leo Babuta – Babuta’s message is simple:  Identify the essential.  Eliminate the rest.  Get on your way to living a simpler life in order to do and achieve the things that are of real value to you and your family.  This is my favorite book on the art of simplicity.
17. Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell – Gladwell embarks on an intellectual journey to figure out what separates the best, the brightest, and the most successful people from everyone else.  He investigates these high achievers by looking closely at their culture, family, generation, and the individual experiences of their upbringing.  This book really gets you thinking about success from a totally different perspective.
18. Freakonomics by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner – This book just may redefine the way you look at the modern world.  Through skillful storytelling and wry insight, Levitt and Dubner set out to explore the hidden side of everything from the inner workings of a crack gang to the myths of political campaign finance to the true importance or unimportance of gun control.  It’s an eye-opening read.
19. Maximum Achievement by Brian Tracy – This book is probably exactly what you would expect from a well-written, classic self-improvement book.  Tracy’s straightforward advice is accompanied by easy-to-do exercises and enhanced with inspiring stories of successful, highly motivated achievers in many fields.
20. You, Inc.: The Art of Selling Yourself by Harry Beckwith – Beckwith concentrates on the importance of being a considerate human being as it relates to running a successful business or living a successful life.  The title is somewhat deceiving because the book is more about giving than it is about selling… or should I say, it’s about giving as a way to sell yourself.  Either way, this book is packed with practical tips and insightful stories.
21. Getting Things Done by David Allen – The ultimate ‘organize your life’ book.  Allen’s ideas and processes are for all those people who are overwhelmed with too many things to do, too little time to do them, and a general sense of unease that something important is being missed.  The primary goal of this book is to teach you how to effectively get your ‘to-do inbox’ to empty.
22. The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit by Seth Godin – Godin challenges the age old idea that winners never quit.  He states that every new project or career starts out exciting and fun.  Then it gets hard and less fun, until it hits a low point - and at that point you have to figure out if you’re in a dip or at a dead-end.  This book provides a look at how the market actually expects people to quit and what to do about it.  It’s a short and insightful read.
23. Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely – Looks at the reasons so many of us continuously make irrational decisions on a daily basis.  It’s a scientific but easily readable and unquestionably insightful look about why we do what we do on a daily basis, and why we never change our ways even though we often ‘know better.’
24. The Smartest Investment Book You’ll Ever Read by Daniel R. Solin – A short, no-fluff guide to investing.  Solin provides an easy-to-follow four step plan that allows investors to create and monitor their portfolios in 90 minutes or less per year, explaining how to asses risk and how to allocate assets to maximize returns and minimize volatility.  This book was absolutely invaluable to me when I first started investing my money.
25. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey – A classic self-improvement book.  Covey presents a principle-centered approach for solving personal and professional problems by delivering a step-by-step guide for living with integrity and honesty and adapting to the inevitable change life brings us everyday.  It’s a must-read.
26. Made to Stick by Chip Heath and Dan Heath – Why do some ideas and stories thrive while others die?  And how do we improve the chances that our ideas and stories will catch on with others?  Heath and Heath tackle these questions head-on.  This book is extremely entertaining, while simultaneously providing practical, tangible strategies for makings things stick.
27. Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser – “What we eat has changed more in the last forty years than in the last forty thousand,” Schlosser observes, yet most Americans know very little about how that food is made, where, by whom, and at what cost.  In a wonderfully horrifying way, this book exposes the American fast food industry’s evil side.  It’s a true eye-opener.
28. Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert – Gilbert, a Harvard professor of psychology has studied happiness for decades, and he shares scientific findings that just might change the way you look at the world.  His primary goal is to persuade you into accepting the fact that happiness is not really what or where you imagined it would be.  This is my favorite book on happiness by a long shot.
29. The Wisdom of Crowds by James Surowiecki – Surowiecki argues that “under the right circumstances, groups are remarkably intelligent, and are often smarter than the smartest people in them.”  He uses statistical examples to backup this theory.  For example: “…the TV studio audience of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire guesses correctly 91 percent of the time, compared to ‘experts’ who guess only 65 percent correctly.”  Hmm… perhaps this is why Wikipedia is so successful.
30. The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss – Ferris challenges us to evaluate our perspective on the cost and availability of our dreams.  And he teaches us that hard work isn’t very hard when you love what you’re doing.  Although there’s certainly some pages of self promotion within, Ferris provides invaluable tips to help us remain aligned with our goals, set expectations on our terms, and eliminate unnecessary time-sinks while increasing our overall effectiveness.
31. Personal Development for Smart People by Steve Pavlina – A surprisingly well-written, broad, and totally raw look at the different aspects of self-improvement.  Pavlina skillfully unveils the truth about what it takes to consciously grow as a human being by teaching what he calls ‘the seven universal principles’ behind all successful personal growth efforts.
32. The Now Habit by Neil Fiore – Quite possibly the best book ever written on overcoming procrastination.  Fiore provides an optimistic, empathetic, and factual explanation of why we procrastinate and then delivers practical, immediately applicable tips for reversing the procrastination spell.  On many levels, this book saved my life.
33. Ignore Everybody by Hugh MacLeod – Where does inspiration and creativity come from?  This little book attempts to uncover this mystery.  MacLeod states that creativity is not a genetic trait, nor is it reserved for professionals.  Everyone is creative sooner or later, but unfortunately, most people have it drilled out of them when they’re young.  MacLeod’s primary goal is to un-drill it and unleash your creative mind.
34. Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi – Ferrazzi explains the guiding principles he has mastered over a lifetime of personal and professional networking and describes what it takes to build the kind of lasting, mutually beneficial relationships that lead to professional and personal success.  Most of this book is fantastic - you learn how to relate to people, how to establish contacts and maintain connections, and how to create a social network.  If you interact with a lot of people on a regular basis, it’s a great read.
35. Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind by Shunryu Suzuki – This inspiring work ranks with the great Zen classics, in a voice and language completely adapted to modern-day sensibilities.  Suzuki’s words breathe with the joy and simplicity that make a liberated life possible.  As he reveals the actual practice of Zen as a discipline for daily life, the reader begins to understand what Zen is truly about.  If you’re even slightly curious about the practice of Zen Buddhism, you’ll find this book to be extremely enlightening.
36. Eating Well For Optimum Health by Andrew Weil – If you only read one health and nutrition book in your whole lifetime, read this one.  Weil sheds light on the often confusing and conflicting ideas circulating about good nutrition, addressing specific health issues and offering nutritional guidance to help heal and prevent major illnesses.  Of particular value is his examination of recent dieting fads, such as low-carbohydrate, vegan and ‘Asian’ diets, with an eye toward debunking the myths about them while highlighting their benefits.
37. The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell – Gladwell looks at how small ideas can spread like viruses, sparking global sociological changes.  The ‘tipping point’ is that magic moment when an idea, trend, or social behavior crosses a threshold, tips, and spreads like wildfire.  Just as a single sick person can start an epidemic of the flu, so too can a small but precisely targeted push cause a fashion trend, the popularity of a new product, or a drop in the crime rate.
38. A People’s History of the United States by Howard Zinn – Although this book is likely to be more interesting to Americans than citizens of other countries, it’s truly a great read either way.  Covering Christopher Columbus’s arrival through President Clinton’s years in office, as well as the 2000 election and the War on Terrorism, the book features an insightful and frank analysis of the most important events in American history told from the perspective of minorities and the working class.
39. I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi – This is the ultimate personal finance book for twenty-somethings (and anyone else in need of a financial planning makeover).  It’s one thing to know about finance, another to be able to write about it, and another entirely to write about it in a way that aptly motivates the younger generation.  Ramit hits the tri-fecta here.  He tells you exactly what to do with your money and why.
40. Career Renegade by Jonathan Fields – This book is simply about building a great living around what you love to do most.  And it’s one of the best guides I’ve ever read on the subject.  Fields, a big-time lawyer turned serial entrepreneur, shows you how to turn your passion - whether it’s cooking or copywriting, teaching or playing video games - into a better payday and a richly satisfying career.

Photo by: Joel Bedford

This guest post was written by Celestine, author of CelestineChua.com.

Do you expect nothing but the best from yourself?  Well, you are not alone.  As someone who’s highly committed to personal excellence and growth, my motto in life is to ‘be my best self and live my best life.’  I strive to uphold this motto every single day.  In doing so, I have adopted ten simple principles which help me stay on track:

Follow Your Heart

Follow your passion.  Life’s too short to spend it doing something you don’t love.  When I made the decision to leave my brand management career last year, I faced varying levels of resistance from people all around me - my parents, friends, managers, colleagues, mentors, etc.  Some thought I went crazy.  Some thought I was undergoing a strange life-phase.  Some thought it was a waste to give up a Fortune 100 career with excellent prospects and a sizable paycheck.  And others thought I was just being rash and wasn’t thinking things through.

If what you are doing now is not your passion,
then you have nothing to lose.

The truth is, it was a decision two years in the making.  I had already discovered my passion before I graduated from college.  After two years of working, I had reached the point where every day I spent at my job was making me unhappy.  And I knew I could be doing something I really loved instead.  So I quit my job to pursue my passion, and I haven’t looked back since.

Today, I’m happier than I’ve ever been, pursuing my passion in full throttle - touching lives through my personal development blog, coaching people and speaking at related events.  The story doesn’t end here either - I have huge plans in the future to transform even more lives and I can’t wait to make this a reality.  Now that I’m in full control of me, there are no limits at all to what can be done!

So what’s your passion?  What are your goals and dreams?  If you absolutely knew you couldn’t fail, what would you do with your life?  To aid your goal achievement process, check out my seven-part goal achievement series.

Prioritize and Focus

One of my core values is excellence, and I believe a key component of excellence is focus.  I ensure that everything I do has a single-minded focus - it starts off first with my purpose in life, laddering down to my life goals, then my long-term goals, my short-term goals, and finally down to my daily tasks.  One of the tools which helps keep me focused is my life handbook.  It’s a life manual I created back in 2007 that contains my purpose, vision, goals, strategies, and specific plans to keep me on track.  It has served me tremendously over the years.

I’m also a strong advocate of the 80-20 rule - where 20% of the causes lead to 80% of the effects.  Many outcomes in life are attributable to a few small actions, and once we get all those key actions right, we will gain phenomenal results.  Thus, I’m always looking out for the most critical factors that require my attention.  Once I identify them, I put forth my best effort to conquer them.  As for the remaining factors, I either do them with lesser attention, delegate them out to others, or outsource the work.  So in summary, I make sure that the things I spend my time doing are the things that have the most impact.

Look on the Positive Side

Probably cliché, but true nonetheless, you must stay positive.  You can look at a half-filled glass from multiple perspectives.  If you are positive, you will cheer at how the glass is half-full.  If you are negative, you will sigh and resign at the half-empty portion of the glass.  If you are a realist, you will simply see the glass as a glass.

At the end of the day, what you are faced with is simply the way it is.  Everything else is your own perspective.  Focus on the negative side of the situation, and you will be mired in negativity.  Focus on the positive upside, and you will gain a positive outlook which will improve your experience and quality of life, giving you the momentum to move onward and upward.

Place Yourself in the Face of Uncertainty

Uncertainty is my compass towards growth.  Whenever I’m faced with something that makes me feel uncomfortable or uncertain, it’s an indicator that there are growth opportunities inside me.  In fact, the more uncertain I feel, the more it signifies the possibility for growth.

If I feel uncertain about a particular topic I’m writing about, it means I need to learn more about this topic before I continue writing.  If I feel uncertain about a circumstance, it means I need to learn how to deal with it.  It has become a natural reaction for me to explore feelings of uncertainty inside of me as they arise, work on them, and then emerge with an increased level of self-awareness.

Are you putting yourself in the face of uncertainty?  Or are you snuggled away in your comfort zone?  Personal growth only occurs when you are faced with an unprecedented situation that forces you to expand your comfort boundaries.

Think and Reflect

Introspection is pretty much my staple hobby.  If there’s anything I’m grateful for, it’s the ability to think freely.  Being able to think and reflect on our lives is a gift. Whenever you reflect on your own thoughts and actions, you gain a greater sense of clarity about yourself and the world around you.

Think about the things that make you happy and the things that make you sad.  Why do these things make you feel the way they do?  Think carefully when you answer these questions, and get comfortable with your answers.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you should be thinking 24/7.  Sometimes, detaching yourself from the reality and becoming an observer (through meditation, another one of my favorite hobbies) is needed as well.

Detach Yourself

There is nothing permanent in this world.  Money, material possessions, success, circumstances, and people – each of these enter and leave our lives continuously.  Thus, there is no reason to attach yourself to whatever you see.  This includes the outcome of different situations.

If there is something happy in your life, relish in it, enjoy it, but don’t develop an unhealthy craving towards it.  If there is something unhappy in your life, experience the emotion and smile at it at the same time, knowing that nothing is permanent and that this situation will dissipate in time.

Many of life’s disappointments and miseries come from attaching yourself to particular outcomes.  When you realize that nothing is permanent and all that you see will be gone soon, then feelings of unhappiness and fear tend to dissipate.

Concentrate on Actionable Steps

Don’t waste your time on things that you cannot change.  I generally classify things you cannot change into 2 categories - (1) The past (2) Other people.  This means that you should focus on effecting the present, so you can shape the future and progress your wellbeing.

Harping on things that cannot be changed is just a waste of your time and energy.  If something happened in the past that upset you, focus on what can be done to alleviate the situation in the future.  If people are annoying you, focus on what you can act on to remove the annoyance.

There was a time at my previous job where I faced a difficult series of challenges.  I became somewhat jaded and fell into a self-victimizing mode.  After a short period of doing this, I just felt sick of it - the negativity, the inaction, everything.  That’s when I realized that no matter what the circumstances are, or how tough they may appear, there are always actionable steps I can take to change the situation.

For whatever challenge you may be facing in life now, think in terms of actionable steps.  What can you do in this situation?  How can you act to move yourself closer to where you want to be?  Check Marc’s excellent post 28 Ways to Slay the Delay to learn more about taking action.

Keep the Momentum Alive

Most people often spend copious amount of time thinking about things and planning things, but then defer the action stage perpetually.  They justify themselves into inaction, citing reasons such as wanting to avoid failure.  It’s a total cop-out.  Here’s another favorite quote of mine:

Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
-Will Rogers.

It is by taking action and receiving feedback from this action that we expand our horizons.  By constantly acting and moving, you are automatically gaining more knowledge just by virtue of the response you are receiving from your interactions with the world around you.  Remember, information won’t walk up to you on its own.  You have to go get it.

Learn From the Best

Many of the things you want to know have already been experienced firsthand by others.  I have found that I can achieve so much more by studying what others have already done.  Then I can build upon the knowledge I gain from them.  In the process, I keep the best practices and remove everything else.

This doesn’t mean that you stop experiencing new things for yourself.  It just means you aren’t reinventing the wheel a hundred times over.  It’s a simple way to avoid making the mistakes others have already made.  This cuts down the learning curve by a whole lot and gives you much better results in a much shorter timeframe.

In summary:

• Surround yourself with great people.  As Jim Rohn puts it, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
• Study the best practices of the people who are succeeding in subjects you would like to pursue.

Help Others

I used to be quite a selfish person, keeping everything, including my knowledge, for myself.  I had heard many talk about the benefits that come from contribution and giving, but I could never comprehend them until I gave it a try.  In the past year after I left my day job, I have dedicated myself to serving others and helping others live their best life. It has been the most incredible and meaningful year of my life yet, and I just know there’s so much more to come.

When you help others, you not only help them grow, but you also grow yourself.  Your generosity opens the floodgates to an abundance of love and resources that flow between everyone involved.

For example, I spend many hours every day working on my personal development blog and writing free articles for others.  While I receive no direct monetary benefit for what I write, the universe pays me back indirectly - in terms of media coverage from journalists who heard about my blog and my story, speaking engagements by organizations which heard about me through word of mouth, coaching sign-ups from people who want to enlist my help in achieving their dreams, love from readers who have benefited from my writings, and much more.

Of course, the motivation to give should come from an unadulterated desire to want to give and contribute, and not for the benefits that follow.  The joy of giving comes from giving itself; the other perks are just a bonus.

Conclusion

Apply these ten principles into your life, and I promise you’ll start seeing positive results.  Please stay in touch and let me know how they work out for you. 

Celestine Chua is a personal excellence coach who writes at The Personal Excellence Blog to help others like you achieve excellence.  She has been featured frequently in the press and is a highly sought-after life coach.  Some of her top articles: 50 Ways to Boost Your Productivity and Cultivate Good Habits in 21 Days.

Photo by: H. Koppdelaney

A petite, light-skinned Jamaican woman sits with her husband in a crowded beachside ice cream shop in San Diego.  Although she doesn’t speak loudly or occupy much space in the room, people notice her.

Her hair is long, flowing and black like a windy night.  Her lips are soft and red like rose petals.  Her curves are subtle, yet they dip and bend in all the right places.  Her skin is smooth, brown, maple cream.  And her clothes are modest, accentuating everything, while exposing nothing at all.

She knows why they’re looking at her.  “It’s because I’m not white,” she says.  “It’s because we’re an interracial couple and they don’t understand why you’re with me.”

Her husband groans and closes his eyes.  There’s nothing he can say.  They’ve already had this conversation a hundred times before.  He threads his fingers through his hair in frustration and watches as his chocolate ice cream begins to melt.

Three tables over, two white college kids eat their ice cream cones and check out ‘the scene.’  As usual, they’re not impressed.  The women around here are too old, too fat, too ugly, or…, “Wow, look at her,” the pimple-faced one says as he nods his head towards the Jamaican woman.

The prematurely balding one turns around to look.  “Oh yeah, she must be a model,” he replies.  “She’s way out of our league, bro…”

“I don’t think I should have to explain why this is so painful for me,” the Jamaican woman continues.  “The media portrays white, blonde females as the essence of beauty and perfection.  My color is simply a genetic defect.”

A chubby white girl, about ten years old, naively stares at the Jamaican woman while sipping a root beer float.  Small tears stream down her face.  “Daddy, why can’t I be as pretty as her?” she asks her father.

“It doesn’t matter if you’re physically faithful to me,” the Jamaican woman says to her husband.  “Because with all these influences surrounding you, you’re probably internalizing your deep desires for a genetically endowed female companion.  And it kills me!  Don’t you understand?”

“Please honey… Are you ready to go home?” her husband replies softly.  She hasn’t taken a single bite of her brownie sundae and all of the ice cream has already melted.  She sighs and stands up, weakly.

Three well-dressed white women in their late twenties talk cheerfully and sip diet cokes at a table near the door.  They were all childhood friends at a local orphanage.  When they were eventually placed in different foster homes, they lost contact with each other.  This special reunion is their first time together in almost fifteen years.

“Did you see those three women by the door?” the Jamaican woman asks her husband as they walk to their car.  “Wealthy white women like that don’t even appreciate how easy their life has been.”

Photo by: Jasmic

Sometimes the most random everyday encounters force us to stop and rethink the truths and perceptions we have ingrained in our minds.  These encounters are educationally priceless.  They spawn moments of deep thought and self-reflection that challenge the status quo and help us evolve as sensible individuals.

On our new sister site, Makes Me Think, we call these thought-provoking life experiences ‘MMTs’.  Makes Me Think is an online community where people share daily life stories that provoke deep thought and inspire positive change.

Here’s a sample of 32 MMT stories that were recently submitted to the site:

1. Today, I was sitting on a hotel balcony watching 2 lovers in the distance walk along the beach.  From their body language, I could tell they were laughing and enjoying each other’s company.  As they got closer, I realized they were my parents.  My parents almost got divorced 8 years ago.  MMT
2. Today, I asked my 6 year old son what he wants to be when he grows up.  He said, “Mommy, all I want to be is happy.”  MMT
3. Today, after spending the last 3 years viciously bickering with the college kid who lives next door, I found myself crying in his arms and thanking him repeatedly for saving my son’s life.  MMT
4. Today, my daughter confronted me with the fact that my biggest fear, a fear that has held me back from many life experiences, has never come true.  I am 76 years old.  MMT
5. Today, I attended the grand opening for Shane’s art gallery.  Shane is a quirky, soft-spoken guy with long red hair.  For the last 5 years I’ve thought he was a bit of a weirdo.  But today I realized Shane’s weirdness is just the side-effect of being an artistic genius.  MMT
6. Today, my company employs 130 intelligent individuals and turns a net profit of nearly $500K a year.  I started this company 10 years ago after I was laid off by IBM.  If they hadn’t laid me off, I might still be working in a cubicle at IBM today.  MMT
7. Today, I waited on an elderly woman at the local restaurant where I work.  She left me a $90 tip on a $10 tab with a handwritten note that said, “I’m 86 and I can’t take this money with me.  So please spoil yourself with it.”  MMT
8. Today, I tested a theory that didn’t work, which led me to different theory that didn’t work, which spawned a totally new idea that seems to work really well.  Although it doesn’t solve the original problem, all of my business partners agree that this idea has earth-shattering potential.  MMT
9. Today, I saw a pretty scary looking guy who had a tall blue mohawk and tattoos and piercings all over his body.  He was helping my elderly neighbor take her trash down to the curb.  My neighbor told me afterwards that the guy was just walking by and offered to help.  MMT
10. Today, I married the man of my dreams.  I left for college at 18 and looked for him there.  Nothing.  I moved to a new city and looked for him there.  Nothing.  Then last fall I returned home for Thanksgiving.  My brother’s best friend, whom I grew up with, joined us for dinner.  And I found him.  MMT
11. Today, I was reunited with an old buddy.  Throughout college we were best friends.  Then just before graduation we got into a nasty fight over a girl.  Terrible words were exchanged and we never spoke again, until today.  And as we hugged each other, we acknowledged how irrelevant that girl is now.  MMT
12. Today, my 21 year old son’s alternative rock band received a record deal from a major record label.  I spent the last 5 years trying to convince him that college was the smarter way to go.  But he stood his ground and pursued his dream.  And now he’s living it.  MMT
13. Today, I was walking along the boardwalk in Pacific Beach when I saw 4 teenagers heckling a homeless beach bum.  He laughed and said, “I’m not crazy!  ‘Crazy’ is spending 40 years of your life hating 40 hours a week.”  MMT
14. Today, I met a movie star celebrity who has been one of my idols since I was a kid.  He was a total jerk in real life.  MMT
15. Today, a lady walked up to me in the gym and asked me to give her some workout pointers.  She said, “You look incredible!  Watching you gradually tone-up and progress in here has become my primary inspiration to get in shape.”  It made me smile because I’ve struggled with my weight since I was 15.  MMT
16. Today, I implemented a web-based business idea I got from my girlfriend.  The kickoff was a total success.  She actually tried explaining this idea to me 2 years ago, but I was too busy at the time to listen.  MMT
17. Today, I checked my account balance and realized I had been fined $40 by my bank for a $2 overdraft when I bought a coffee on the way to work.  “I couldn’t be any more broke!” I cried aloud as I walked outside to get some air.  Just then a skinny homeless man limped out from a nearby alleyway.  MMT
18. Today, my daughter who struggled to get C’s in grade school owns a multi-million dollar cosmetics company.  My daughter who was in the gifted program in grade school is happily employed as a kindergarten teacher making $35K a year.  MMT
19. Today, I ran into an old best friend I haven’t seen in nearly a year.  We live in the same city, but we’re just so busy.  MMT
20. Today, we celebrated our 10 year anniversary.  We unknowingly held our wedding in a park on the same day a college fraternity was tailgating.  There were drunken college kids everywhere.  At the time it seemed horrific.  But it produced several amusing stories our family still laughs about today.  MMT
21. Today, I returned 2 library books that were 3 months overdue.  The librarian looked extremely nervous as she informed me of my $34 late fee.  When I smiled and handed her the $34, she said, “Oh, thanks for being so nice about it.  Most people scream at me when I inform them of their late fees.”  MMT
22. Today, my employer officially approved my request to work from home 2 days a week.  All of my friends and family were shocked.  “When did your employer implement this policy?” they asked.  “About 2 weeks after I pitched the idea to the CEO,” I replied.  MMT
23. Today, I was dealt a colossal life lesson.  My girlfriend is pregnant.  I’ve worn a condom every single time we’ve had sex for the last 2 years… except for this one night last month when we were really, really drunk.  MMT
24. Today, I visited an old neighborhood where I used to live.  The landscaping in every yard seemed better kept than I remember.  And everyone on the block seemed friendlier.  But other than the couple who moved into my old house, the same exact people live there.  MMT
25. Today, my mother-in-law cooked fish for dinner.  I have refused to eat fish since I was a child.  But I didn’t want to seem rude, so I sucked it up and ate it anyway.  Surprisingly, I thought it was pretty good.  And I may try it again sometime soon.  MMT
26. Today, I was at the beach watching a little girl chase her father’s remote controlled car around in circles.  She kept jumping forward and falling on her knees in an effort to catch the car as it skidded by.  She did this 31 times and failed.  But on attempt #32, she caught the car.  MMT
27. Today, a complete stranger outside a local coffee shop was holding a sign that said, “Free Hugs.”  I hesitated at first, but then I decided to give her a hug.  Truthfully, it felt great!  MMT
28. Today, I heard another Michael Jackson song on the radio.  For the last 15 years up until the day he died, it seemed like everyone thought he was a freak.  Now, all I hear are MJ songs on the radio and people calling him a musical genius.  It’s like the world forgot what they had until it was gone.  MMT
29. Today, I was sitting on my front porch watching the neighbor’s kid have the time of his life with nothing more than a wooden stick and his imagination.  MMT
30. Today, I was in a really bad mood when a young girl came into my office sporting the most genuine smile I’d seen in a long while.  She was bound to a wheelchair because she had no legs.  MMT
31. Today, I spent an hour with a stranger, said nothing, and walked away feeling like I just had the best conversation ever.  MMT
32. Today, I was working in a coffee shop when 2 gay men walked in holding hands.  As you might expect, heads started turning.  Then a young girl at the table next to me asked her mom why 2 men were holding hands.  Her mom replied, “Because they love each other.”  MMT

Makes Me Think is updated daily.  If you enjoyed the MMT stories in this article, please visit the site for the latest content.  Or subscribe to Make Me Think here via RSS or email.

Photo by: Philipp Klinger

This guest post was written by Jacob Inman, author of Revive Your Life.

First we make our habits, then our habits make us.
-Charles C. Noble

It’s not unusual for intelligent people to get themselves stuck in a deep rut in life.  By rut, I mean a somewhat extended period of time flooded with low motivation, poor moods, negative thinking patterns, and little or no productivity.  A rut like this can be extremely difficult to get out of.  I’ve been there several times, so I know that rediscovering productivity and finding the motivation to delve into anything even remotely challenging can seem nearly impossible.  However, we must eventually come to our senses and realize that there’s no point in going through life feeling unmotivated, tired, stressed out, and unhealthy.  Misery is, after all, a choice.

Escaping the bounds of a deeply-grooved rut requires nothing more than some willpower, a good plan, and the resolve to take immediate action.  Most ruts are caused by a lack of self-care – for example, little to no exercise, sub-par nutrition, zero personal reflection, insufficient sleep, etc.  Significant transformation can, and will, occur in a relatively short period of time if you take action now and remain diligently focused on digging yourself out of the hole you’ve created.

One month – 30 days, should provide plenty of time for you to turn your life around.  Below are some helpful tips to get you started.  Make it your goal to gradually incorporate all of these tips into your life over the course of the next month.

• Get Naked and Face Reality – Remove all of your clothing, weigh yourself, and then stand naked in front of a full-length mirror for 30 seconds.  Put your clothing back on and take the next two minutes to think about what you’ve just witnessed.  How do you feel?  Comfortable?  Disturbed?  Shocked?  If you felt anything other than comfortable, move on to the next step.
• Take Out the Trash – While holding a large garbage bag, rummage through your refrigerator and kitchen pantry and throw away anything that lists ‘high fructose corn syrup’ as an ingredient.  While you’re at it, throw away items that contain ‘partially hydrogenated’ anything.  This would include most packaged and processed foods such as cookies, chips, crackers, sodas, etc.  Reward yourself by removing a single item from the bag that was the most difficult for you to throw away.  Take one bite and throw the rest back in the garbage bag.
• Gather the Necessary Supplies – Now that you’re close to being out of food, grab a pencil and paper and begin making a new grocery list that includes the following items: oatmeal, eggs, chopped walnuts, fresh baby spinach, skinless chicken breasts, raw almonds, raisins, salmon fillets, whole wheat bread, canned tuna, unprocessed cheese, four vegetables of your choice, and three fruits of your choice.  Do your own research as to why I selected these foods, and find other foods to add to your grocery list for the same reasons (Hint: protein, omega-3 fatty acids, magnesium, whole grains, and vitamins).
• Put the Bottle Down – Cut your alcohol consumption by 50 percent.  If you drink one glass of wine every night of the week, drink one glass every other night instead.  If you drink a case of beer each week, cut your consumption down to two six-packs.  If you drink one bottle of whiskey per week, buy a smaller bottle.  It’s hard to be motivated or productive when you’re constantly buzzed or hung-over.
• Schedule a Long-Overdue Visit – When was the last time you saw your family physician?  Call your doctor and schedule a full physical examination.  Take every piece of advice that he or she gives you as the gospel and ask at least three specific questions related to your health.  Research any prescriptions that are written for you so that you understand what you are being asked to take and why.  This time, keep your clothes on while the nurse weighs you, and stay away from full-length mirrors. 
• Stimulate Your Brain with New Insights – Buy or borrow two insightful personal development books that contain at least 150 pages each.  Here are some titles to consider:  The Power of Less, How to Win Friends and Influence People, The Power of Now.  Commit to finishing both books in 30 days by reading during your regularly scheduled television time.  By default, this will cut the time you watch television in half.  Better yet, engage in a “media fast” whereby you unplug the television and internet for an entire month.  Watch your productivity soar!
• Fuel the Machine First – Make time to eat breakfast every day - it really doesn’t take that long.  Place one half heaping cup of oatmeal and one cup of water in a microwave-safe bowl.  Nuke it for two minutes.  Add a dash of cinnamon, a handful of raisins, a handful of chopped walnuts, and a touch maple syrup or honey.  Eat and get energized.
• Re-Fuel with Premium More Often – Each day between breakfast, lunch and dinner, eat a handful of almonds and a piece of fruit.  These small nutritional snacks provide boosts of energy that will prevent you from slumping over your desk in a near-comatose state each afternoon.  The almonds provide a great source of magnesium, a necessary mineral proven to calm your nerves and reduce fatigue.
• Renew and Reconnect – Plan an enjoyable night out with either a friend or your significant other at least twice this month.  Refrain from talking about yourself and instead ask questions that show your appreciation and interest in the person you’re with.  Also, expand your horizons by allowing your companion to select the location and entertainment for the night.  You just might learn something new.
• Look Beyond Yourself – Pray or meditate once a day for at least five minutes.  If this seems to calm your mind, increase the time from five to ten minutes.
• Expend Some Energy – Make a valid attempt to incorporate more physical activity into your daily routine.  Spend 20 minutes, two times per week performing some type of enjoyable physical activity.  Take the stairs at the office instead of the elevator.  Take the dog for a walk.  Walk to a co-worker’s desk instead of sending him an email.  Just get up and get moving!
• Recharge Your Mind and Body – Get at least seven hours of quality sleep per night this month.  By following the other suggestions above, restful sleep should come naturally.  Sleep is one of the most powerful ways to rejuvenate the mind and body, increase creativity, and replenish lost energy.

After 30 days have passed, take time to reflect on how you feel physically, mentally, and spiritually.  It’s likely that your rut will be replaced with a well-paved path leading to better health and a stronger sense of well-being.

Remember, misery is a choice.  Your daily habits can be either a host for misery or a host for happiness and positive change.  The choice is yours to make.

Jacob Inman writes about the power of personal change and how to achieve it on his blog, Revive Your Life.

Photo by: Guille

Ten years later, they’re still together…

The Girl in the Mirror

She looks at herself in the full length mirror that hangs from her bedroom wall.  Completely naked and exposed, yet confident.  She’s older than she was five years ago, but feels much younger.  And she thinks momentarily about the different men who held her in front of this mirror.

They thought they possessed her.  They thought she was theirs.  Because she was in their arms, so delicate and sweet.  But really she possessed them.  Because she possesses the space in front of the mirror.  And the moments that occur there too.

She gazes down at the man lying naked in her bed.  But he’s not just another man.  For the first time in years, this one sleeps differently.  With a subtle smile, a dash of poise, and a history free of envy.  And she smiles and giggles to herself.

Just then, he stirs, slowly lifts his head, squints his eyes, and looks at her standing across the room, naked in front of the mirror.  His movement startles her and she jumps.  Not because he sees her naked, but because she isn’t ready for him to be awake.  Not yet.

This is her time, the early morning, when the world is quiet and she can hear the sound of her own breathing.  It’s a sacred time when answers and insights aren’t as hard to come by.  A time when her mind is at peace and her heart beats slower.  And it begins beating slower again.  Because he closes his eyes and falls back asleep.

She slips on her robe, tiptoes into the kitchen, pours coffee grounds and water into the coffee maker, places two slices of bread in the toaster, and opens the window curtains.  The warm, early morning sun floods into her apartment.  A few minutes later, the toaster pops.  She spreads strawberry jam on the toast, pours a cup of coffee, opens the front door, and sits down on the doorstep.

And she thinks about how happy she is.  Happy to simply be.  To be free.  To not be tied down by another person or have another person tied down by her.  She stares up at the morning sky for a prolonged moment and smiles.

“I’m in love,” she says aloud.

The Guy in the Bed

He hasn’t fallen back asleep.  When he lifts his head, squints his eyes, and sees her standing naked in front of the mirror, he senses that she isn’t yet ready for him to join her.  So he closes his eyes and pretends to sleep.

He listens as she giggles, slips on her robe, tiptoes into the kitchen, and rattles the toaster, the coffee maker, and the curtains.  He loves these little noises…  Noises he calls music.

Like the music of last night, when they talked and laughed for hours over a bottle of wine.  Until unexpectedly, she kissed him.  And then he kissed her back.  Because of her philosophy and her beauty.

She took off his shirt.  He took off hers.  And it went on like that for what seemed like hours until they were together in bed, naked.  He thought he could love her.  He wondered if he did love her already.  And he wondered if she felt the same way.

When the kitchen noises stop, he gets up, slips on his boxers, and tiptoes into the living room where he sees her sitting peacefully on the doorstep.  She’s completely bathed in the sun’s light.  As she eats toast and drinks coffee, she seems to be laughing… a sweet, silent laughter.

He wants to bother her.  To tell her that he’s hungry too, and that he wouldn’t mind sharing a slice of her toast.  But he doesn’t.  Because she seems so happy and free… the way it should be.  So instead he stands in the doorway and admires her from a distance.  And he thinks about the fact that she isn’t his… that she will never be his.  And that it’s okay.

Because she just said, “I’m in love.”

Photo by: Jey Heich

These questions have no right or wrong answers.

Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back?
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
22. Why are you, you?
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
25. What are you most grateful for?
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now?
30. What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special?
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
32. If not now, then when?
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
48. What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that?
50. Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section below.

Photo by: Sanctuary

This guest post was written by Robin Krieglstein, founder of GoalTribe.

I know a little something about living an adventurous life.  I’ve hot air ballooned Kathmandu, glacier trekked Patagonia, gone paragliding in the Andes, slept in a snow-shelter at the top of the Rocky Mountains, scuba-dived in the tropics, camel trekked the Sahara, rock-climbed in Thailand and been on an African safari.  Oh, and I’ve been sky diving, cliff diving, rafting on Class V white water, and I was even swept over a waterfall once.

Huff, huff…  You thought I was finished, didn’t you? 

I’ve also visited 20% of the world’s countries and circled the globe twice.  I’ve explored ancient castles, palaces, temples, tombs, catacombs and labyrinths.  I’ve stayed in 5 star hotels, caves and dessert caravan tents.  I’ve seen the pyramids, Machu Picchu, the Amazon, the African savanna, the Himalayas, the Eiffel Tower, the Acropolis in Athens and the Taj Mahal.

And I have to tell you – it’s been extraordinary.  It’s an absolutely amazing, brilliant, beautiful world out there filled with dazzling wonders that are readily available for you to experience.  You don’t have to be rich.  You don’t have to be exceptional.  If you want to experience it all, you just have to make a decision, set some goals, and make it happen.

Here’s how:

Step 1:  Discover Your Vista’s of Adventure

First get a clear vision of what the word ‘adventure’ means to you.  Take 30 minutes, put on some inspiring music, get excited and write down everything that comes to mind when you think about an adventure.  What movies inspire you?  Indiana Jones?  James Bond?  The Bourne Series?  What types of adventures appeal to you?  Adventurous sports?  Travel?  The great outdoors?  What specific activities sound like a heart-pounding blast?  Bungee jumping?  Exploring ancient ruins?  Heli-skiing (skiing areas you can only get to by helicopter)?

Step 2:  Choose 5 Specific Adventure Goals

Life is short!  Now is the time to get real.  Now is the moment to make a commitment to experience the life adventures you want to experience before you die.  Choose 5 adventure goals from your brainstorm that you’re most excited about.  Pick one that you will do within 3 months, one that you will do by the end of the year, one within 2 years, one within 3 years and one within 5 years.  The first 3-month goal should be exciting, but reasonable, so it’s actually possible to achieve in a short time frame.  This one is very important because it will help you build momentum and faith in yourself.

Also, be firm and DECIDE that you WILL give yourself the gift of an adventurous life.  Spend an additional 5 minutes writing out why this is important to you, and then write a formal commitment to yourself and hang it where you’ll see it every day.

Step 3:  Learn How to Take the First Step

Now take your first 3-month goal and figure out what you need to do to make it a reality.  One of the most common reasons people don’t make their life more exciting and adventurous is that they don’t know how to start.  But that’s okay – you can learn.  Search the Internet, the library, or talk to people who’ve done what you’re planning to do.  Ask questions.  Make calls.  Figure out what steps you need to take.  There are companies that arrange everything from local rock-climbing and white-water rafting trips to round-the-world, multi-month adventures.  Also, read “25 Ways to Learn How to Do Absolutely Anything” for more ideas.

Step 4:  Create a Plan for Your First Adventure

Once you understand the initial steps that are required to embark on your first adventure goal, create a clear plan.  Make a detailed list of what actions you need to take and set a date for completing each action so that you’ll be off experiencing this first adventure in exactly 3 months from today.

Step 5: Jump into Action Immediately

If you’re like most people, you’ve probably just read the previous 4 steps without actually doing anything.  And guess what?  You’re in danger of finishing this article without ever taking action.  Here’s how to make sure that doesn’t happen:

• Take action immediately!  Yes, right now!  Start brainstorming your adventure goals.
• Pick your top 5 goals.  And then do one more step…
• Figure out what the logical first step is towards your first adventure goal.

Additional Tips on Living an Adventurous Life

1. Overcoming your fears is half the fun of adventuring.  The adrenalin rush can be exhilarating!  And when it passes, and you realize you’re still standing, you feel a great sense of accomplishment.  Remember most fears are not real.  Fear could stand for: “False Experiences Appearing Real.”  Fear is also a great way to get people’s attention and motivate them to do things; so the media, politicians, companies and many other organizations spend a lot of time and money trying to make the world seem like a scary place.  It’s not.  Even for people living adventurous lives, disaster rarely strikes.  That’s why when it does strike it makes the evening news… because it’s rare.  Ultimately the secret to fear is:  Feel the fear and do it anyway.
2. Whenever you have a choice of activities to do, pick the one that will make for a better story.
3. Don’t have the time?  Instead of going to see an action movie, take action in your own life.  Instead of sitting in front of the TV, sit on a ski lift.  Instead of sleeping in your bed, sleep on a bus on the way to the Grand Canyon.  Instead of going out to the park, go out rock climbing.  Instead of vacationing at Disneyland, vacation in Thailand.
4. Don’t have the money?  International travel is much cheaper than it seems.  Just give up a few luxuries and don’t try to keep living exactly the same way you do at home.  You will keep costs down and have a much more profound experience if you eat what the locals eat, sleep like the locals sleep and travel like the locals travel.  Visit countries that are more affordable than your home country.  As for adventure sports, most of them are filled with specialized, expensive gear that you don’t need.  You need SOME to be safe, but don’t be fooled into a thousand dollar shopping spree for a weekend camping trip.  Rent, borrow or go without.  Yes you can!
5. For additional advice on doing the impossible, I recommend reading (or rereading) Marc and Angel’s excellent post “How to Walk on Water.”
6. And one last tip from someone who’s been there:  As your life unfolds with new excitement, experiences and adventure, you must, must, must keep a journal of your experiences.  Also, take thousands of pictures and lock those precious moments into your memory forever.  Someday, when you’re sitting with your children or grandchildren, you’ll be so happy you did.

What adventures would you like to conquer?  Please share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Robin Krieglstein is the Founder and CEO of GoalTribe, the most advanced goal achievement social network on the planet.  GoalTribe offers free, step-by-step guidance to plan your goals, get a support team, build motivation, track your progress and overcome all obstacles.  On GoalTribe’s blog, Robin explores life changing ideas colored by stories from his around-the-world travels through 38 countries.

Photo by: Ivan Makarov

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning,
but anyone can start today and make a new ending.
- Maria Robinson

Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is just a figment of the imagination.  So if you think about it, today is the only day you’re alive.  Today is the day that matters the most.

Here’s how to make it memorable:

• Try something totally new. – Variety truly is the spice of life.  You can see or do something a million times, but you can only see or do it for the first time once.  As a result, first time experiences usually leave a reflective mark in our minds for the rest of our lives.  So spice it up!
• Entertain yourself with real-world experiences. – Great memories are the product of interesting life experiences.  So turn off the television (or the computer) and get outdoors.  Interact with the world, appreciate nature, take notice of the simple pleasures life has to offer, and just watch as life unfolds in front of you.
• Work on something that’s meaningful to you. – Engage yourself in a meaningful personal project.  Or pull the trigger on doing something you’ve wanted to do for a long time, but haven’t yet had the resolve to do.  Life is short.  Today is the day to take action.
• Challenge your mind and body. – Learn a new skill.  Be creative.  Build something from the ground up, no matter how small.  Run farther than you’ve ever run before.  Push yourself to the limits!
• Concentrate on less, but give it your best. – Slow down.  Pay close attention to what you’re doing.  Don’t waste time juggling forgettable tasks.  Instead, concentrate on a few things that really matter.  Engage fully in this day.
• Say “yes” to a spontaneous opportunity. – Everything in life can’t be planned.  Some of the greatest opportunities will knock on your door when you least expect them to.  Be flexible, be spontaneous, and just say “yes.”
• Complete an important piece of unfinished business. – Today is a perfect day to finish what you started.  Few feelings are more satisfying than the one you get after an old burden has been lifted off of your shoulders.
• Document your day. – Take lots of pictures.  Keep a journal.  Document your day so you can review it some other day.  Many moons from now, these old photos and journal entries will ignite your recollection of great memories from the past.
• Smile, be positive, and notice what’s right. – Everything that happens in life is neither good nor bad.  It just depends on your perspective.  And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should.  Either you succeed or you learn something.  So stay positive, appreciate the pleasant outcomes, and learn from the rest.
• Be authentic.  Be true to yourself. – Judy Garland once said, “Always be a first rate version of yourself, instead of a second rate version of somebody else.”  Live by this statement.  There is no such thing as living a good day in someone else’s shoes.  The only shoes you can occupy are your own.  If you aren’t being yourself, you aren’t truly living… you’re merely existing.  And no day spent in a phony state of mere existence will ever be memorable or worthwhile.
• Actively assist someone in need. – In life, you get what you put in.  When you make a positive impact in someone else’s life, you also make a positive impact in your own life.  Do something that’s greater than you, something that helps someone else to be happy or to suffer less.  I promise, it will be an extremely rewarding experience.  One you’ll likely remember forever.
• Share time with a good friend and experience life together. – Pink Floyd once said, “The memories of a man in his old age are the deeds of a man in his prime.”  There are few things more satisfying than recounting the greatest moments of your life with your closest friends who lived these moments alongside you.
• Make a new friend. – People are interesting creatures, and no two people are exactly alike.  So meet someone new today.  Find out what makes them tick.  They’ll likely open your eyes to fascinating ideas and perspectives.  And you never know, they just might change your life.
• Do something fun and laugh your ass off. – Some of the most memorable moments in your life will be moments spent in laughter.
• Be present.  Be here now. – I purposely left this bullet for last because it perfectly encompasses all of my previous points. – Don’t let your life slip by.  Instead of dwelling on the past, or worrying about the future, just practice being and living in the ‘now.’  Remember, right now is the only moment guaranteed to you.  Right now is life.  Don’t miss it.

And I leave you with this to think about:

We all agree that life is short.  Sooo…

Why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

Photo by: FMC.Nikon.D40

The greatest thing you’ll ever learn
Is to love and be loved in return.
- Natalie Cole

On a chilly October night nine years ago…

I would have preferred not to write to you.  In fact, about a week ago, I put a post-it note on my computer monitor that said, “What would Skyman do?” (Skyman is my cat).  It was supposed to remind me not to do things that Skyman wouldn’t do.

Skyman would just wag his tail or wiggle his little nose, and hope that whoever he’s wagging or wiggling to understands that he’s hungry, or lonely, or in love, or whatever.  But he certainly wouldn’t write a silly love letter to the coolest girl he knows.  Because he can’t form complex thoughts.  And because he’s smart enough not to be so stupid.

This evening, the post-it note fell off of my computer monitor and landed on the floor.  And although post-it notes usually lose their stick after a few days, this one was different.  It was still really sticky and shouldn’t have come unstuck.  And it was light green, which is the color of your eyes.  These were obvious signs I couldn’t ignore.

So I decided to write to you…  To tell you that Hanging by a Moment is a totally awesome song.  That Diet Coke tastes better when you smile.  And that the world seems easier to understand today than it did yesterday.

But still not as easy to understand as two days ago, when a friend and I shared a three scoop 5 & Diner ice cream sundae at midnight.  And decided that some people are like hot fudge and others are like hard candy.  And I don’t remember why we decided that.

But it had something to do with friendship.  And ice cream with two spoons instead of one.  And later that night, after I dropped you off, I wanted to call you to ask whether you preferred hard candy or hot fudge, just to find out whether you’d sigh and giggle simultaneously when I’d ask.  Because that’s what I think you’d do.

I didn’t call you because Skyman wouldn’t do that.  He wouldn’t even know how to dial your phone number.  Because a cat’s paws are not nearly as dexterous as human hands.  Which must be nice for Skyman, because love is a lot simpler when you have paws.

Anyway, it’s midnight again.  And I’m sitting up in bed with my laptop thinking about how our lives begin and end in the time it takes the universe to blink.  Which isn’t too long.  But long enough for letters that aren’t too long.  Letters that ramble instead of saying what they want to say.  Which is…

I wish you were here.  Just breathing beside me.

Photo by: Kliefi