The essence of a strong mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.

As human beings we often make the same underlying errors over and over again. For example, deep down we know it’s wise to take it one step at a time, to maintain positive daily habits, and to seek out healthy living and working environments. Yet we often do the exact opposite when times get stressful and we’re under pressure.

Yes, we do the wrong things even though we know better, because the human mind has weaknesses. It becomes forgetful and insensible sometimes. And the only way to conquer these weaknesses is (more…)

You have come a long way, and you’re still learning and growing. Be thankful for the lessons. Take them and make the best of things right now.

For my 18th birthday, many moons ago, my grandfather on my mom’s side gave me four lightly-used flannel shirts that he no longer needed. The shirts were barely worn and in great shape; my grandfather said he thought they would look great on me. Unfortunately, I thought they were odd gifts at the time and I wasn’t thankful. I looked at him skeptically, gave him a crooked half-smile, and moved on to the other gifts sitting in front of me. My grandfather died two days later from a sudden heart attack. The flannel shirts were the last gifts he ever gave me, and that crooked half-smile was the last time I directly acknowledged him. Today, I still regret the little thing I didn’t say when I had the chance: “Thank you Grandpa. I appreciate you.”

That was a huge wake-up call for me… one that has served me well for over two decades now.

And here are eight wake-up calls for you to reflect on today — some important lessons worth learning (more…)

Be OK with walking away. Rejection teaches you how to reject what’s not right for you.

As you look back on your life, you will realize that many of the times you thought you were being rejected by someone or something you wanted, you were in fact being redirected to someone or something you needed. Seeing this when you’re in the midst of feeling rejected, however, is quite tough. I know because I’ve been there…

As soon as someone critiques, criticizes, and pushes you away — as soon as you are rejected — you find yourself (more…)

Operate with your own intuition and wisdom as your guide.

Your life is yours alone. Others can try to persuade you, but they can’t decide for you. They can walk with you, but not in your shoes. So make sure the path you travel aligns with your intuition and values. And don’t be scared to pave your own path while learning the way on the way.

Will the people in your life always support your decisions? No. But you need to remember that life is not about justifying yourself — it’s about creating and respecting yourself.

So make this your lifelong motto: “I respectfully do not care.” Say it to anyone who (more…)

The most important decision you will ever make is what to do with the time given to you.

I recently received a thank you email from a reader named Hope. She said our work helped motivate her through an arduous recovery process following a serious car accident last year. Although her entire story is both heartbreaking and inspiring, this one line made me pause and think:

“The happiest moment of my life is still that split-second a year ago when, as I laid crushed under a 2000 pound car, I realized my husband and 9-year-old boy were out of the vehicle and absolutely OK.”

Dire moments like this force us to (more…)

This morning, I was sitting on a neighborhood park bench eating a breakfast sandwich when an elderly couple pulled their car up under a nearby oak tree. They rolled down the windows and turned up some jazz music on the radio. Then the man got out of the car, walked around to the passenger side, and opened the door for the woman. He took her hand and helped her out of her seat, guided her about ten feet away from the car, and they slow danced for the next half hour under the oak tree.

It was a beautiful sight to see. I could have watched them forever. And as they wrapped things up and started making their way back to the car, I clapped my hands in admiration.

Perhaps doing so was (more…)

Asking the right questions is the answer.

In a recent email newsletter I wrote, “Calm your mind today. Don’t think outside the box. Think like there is no box.”

And to my surprise, 67 people quoted that line and responded with the same general question: “How?”

I’ve spent some time thinking about how to answer their collective question in the most universal way possible, and I’ve decided that the simplest explanation I can give is this: Ask yourself better questions — questions that (more…)

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over. There’s a big difference between giving up and starting over in the right direction today. And there are three little words that can release you from your past and guide you forward to a positive new beginning. These words are: “From now on…”

So from now on… (more…)

On the average day happiness is letting go of what you assume life is supposed to be like, and sincerely appreciating it for everything it is.

Over the past 16 years, as Angel and I have gradually worked with hundreds of our course students, coaching clients, and live event attendees, we’ve come to understand that the root cause of most human stress is simply our stubborn propensity to hold on to things. In a nutshell, we hold on tight to the hope that things will (more…)

“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count, it’s the life in your years.”

As you age you will learn to value your time, genuine relationships, meaningful work, and peace of mind, much more. Little else will matter.

Deep down you know that already, right?

Yet on most days, just like the majority of us, you get distracted by so many others things. You give your time to lots of meaningless time-wasters. You take your important relationships for granted. You get to work skeptically with inner resistance. And you let everyday stress get the best of you…

Why?

Because you’re (more…)

“Head up, heart open. To better days!”
— T.F. Hodge

Struggling to find your motivation? Feeling unsure about everything today?

There are just a few things you need to know right now.

This quick read is for YOU…

Once upon a time there was a woman in her mid-sixties who noticed that she had lived her entire life in the same small town. And although she had spent decades enthusiastically dreaming about traveling and seeing the world, she had never taken a single step to make this dream a reality.

Finally, she woke up on the morning of her 65th birthday and decided that now was the time! She sold all of her possessions except for some essential items she needed, packed these items into a backpack, and (more…)

We are not just what we know, but what we are willing to learn.

When my Grandma Zelda passed away a decade ago at the age of 90, she left me with a box of miscellaneous items from her house that she knew I had grown to appreciate over the years. Among these items was an old leather-bound journal that she aptly named her Inspiration Journal.

Throughout the second half of her life, Grandma Zelda used this journal to jot down ideas, thoughts, quotes, song lyrics, and anything else that moved her. She would read excerpts from her journal to me when I was growing up, and I would listen and ask questions. I honestly credit a part of who I am now to the wisdom she bestowed on me (more…)

“If only…” Those two words paired together create one of the saddest phrases in the English language.

In the end, more than anything else, we regret the chances we didn’t take, the priceless opportunities we were too busy to nurture, and the good decisions we waited too long to make. Marc and I have learned this over the past 15 years from the countless hours we’ve spent coaching hundreds of clients, students, and live event attendees from around the world. The exact same regrets pop up in the personal stories people share with us, time after time.

Here are ten extremely common and specific choices in life that ultimately lead to that “If only…” phrase of regret, and how to elude them on the average day:

1. Letting others tell us what we are worth.

We tend to forget that most people judge us based on (more…)

You ultimately become what you repeatedly do. If your daily habits aren’t helping you, they’re hurting you. Here are some fairly common and widespread examples of the latter that will drain all your joy if you let them:

1. Focusing on how life “should” be every step of the way.

Try to use frustration and inconvenience to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in control of the way you look at life. Instead of getting angry, find the lesson. In place of envy, feel admiration. In place of worry, take action. In place of doubt, have faith. Remember that your response is always more powerful than your present circumstance. A small part of your life is decided by completely uncontrollable circumstances, while the vast majority of your life is decided by your responses. Where you ultimately end up is heavily dependent on how (more…)

You can’t calm the storm. What you can do is calm yourself, and the storm will gradually pass.

Calmness is a human superpower. The ability to not overreact or take things personally keeps your mind clear and your heart at peace, which gives you the upper hand in most life situations. And it’s a daily practice too. Over the past several years I’ve been cultivating calmness in myself — I’ve been gradually taming my tendency to get riled up and argue with people when their behavior doesn’t match my expectations.

As human beings we all have an idea in our heads about how things are supposed to be, and sadly this is (more…)

If we have learned just one thing recently, it’s that we need to be gentle with ourselves and others. We’re all in this world together and we all get weary at times. Be recklessly gracious!

The wisest and most wonderful people you have ever met are likely those who have been shattered in some way. Yes, life often creates the best humans by breaking them first. It’s the painstaking journey of falling apart and coming back together that fills their hearts and minds with a level of compassion, understanding, and deep-loving wisdom that can’t possibly (more…)

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”
— Bruce Lee

The biggest and most draining disappointments in our daily lives are often the result of misplaced expectations. This is especially true when it comes to our relationships and interactions with others. So don’t lower your standards, but do remember that removing your expectations of others is the best way to avoid being utterly disappointed and drained by them.

Which means it’s time to…

1. Stop expecting everyone to agree with you.

You deserve to find joy and inner peace in your own way. You deserve to (more…)

“In elementary school my parents told me it didn’t matter what I did when I grew up, so long as it made me happy. ‘Happiness is the whole point of life,’ my father said. ‘But it doesn’t always come easy. Your mother loves to help people in need, so she became a psychiatric nurse. I love reading, writing and poetry, so I became an English teacher. We both find happiness in the hard work we do each day.’

A few years later when I was in junior high, my sixth-grade homeroom teacher put me in detention for ‘being difficult.’ She went around the classroom and asked each student what they wanted to be when they grew up. When she got to me, I told her I wanted to be happy. She told me I was missing the whole point of the question. I told her she was missing the whole point of life.”

That’s an old parable my grandmother recited to me countless times when (more…)

Oftentimes you don’t even realize you’re blocking your own present blessings by holding on to things so tightly.

It’s always necessary to accept when some part of your life has reached its inevitable end. Closing the door, completing the chapter, turning the page, etc. It doesn’t matter what you title it; what matters is that you find the strength to leave in the past those former parts of your life that are over, and those little ideals in your mind that simply aren’t meant to be.

Over the past 16 years, as Marc and I have gradually worked with hundreds of our course students, coaching clients, and live event attendees, we’ve come to understand that the most common cause of human frustration on an average day is our stubborn propensity to hold on to things long after it’s time to let go. In a nutshell, we hold on tight to (more…)

Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is simply believing you’re worthy of the trip.

“Life hasn’t been the easiest on me lately. I won’t get into all the details now, but the tough times I’ve been living through have left me with many cracks. And although I’ve still managed to be a reasonably successful person, on most days I struggle desperately with my self-confidence. I just don’t feel good enough. I feel flawed. I feel like my cracks make me undesirable…”

Those are the opening lines of an email I received recently from a new reader of our blog. I’m sharing that excerpt today, with permission, because Angel and I have spoken to hundreds of other readers, clients, and live event attendees over the past 15 years who struggle in a very similar way. In fact, almost all of us struggle with not feeling “good enough” at various points throughout our lives.

If you can relate right now — if today is one of those days — it’s time for (more…)